Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,941
2
00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:20,169
- in 2012, I founded
a company called tli.
3
00:00:22,072 --> 00:00:25,457
Tli's job is to
carry out my vision.
4
00:00:25,576 --> 00:00:27,292
But it's not just my vision.
5
00:00:27,411 --> 00:00:30,295
It's a vision that many
on this earth share.
6
00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:32,598
You could fit all
of these things
7
00:00:32,717 --> 00:00:35,601
which I see for this
world under one title:
8
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,020
Positive world change.
9
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:41,473
My intention is
to build a company
10
00:00:41,592 --> 00:00:45,694
that is so large
and so unstoppable
11
00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:48,096
that nothing can
come up against it,
12
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,699
a company whose
intentions are so pure
13
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,101
that not even the people
who created the company...
14
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:57,322
Not even the executives,
the ceos, the directors...
15
00:00:57,441 --> 00:00:59,041
Can come up against it.
16
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,661
My joy on this planet is
carrying out that vision,
17
00:01:02,797 --> 00:01:04,496
and so, I will.
18
00:01:04,615 --> 00:01:05,798
Have a good week.
19
00:01:05,883 --> 00:01:08,751
20
00:01:25,636 --> 00:01:28,437
21
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,836
teal: I'm carrying
the responsibility
22
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,861
of so much of this mission,
23
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:39,915
but it's so dependent
upon the people around me.
24
00:01:44,088 --> 00:01:46,839
The people who are the
most dedicated to this,
25
00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,685
they know me on a very
close, personal level,
26
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,459
and it's like my inner circle.
27
00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:56,265
Originally, they
started as volunteers,
28
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:59,268
people who wanted
to learn from me
29
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:02,187
in exchange for working for me.
30
00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:06,753
Tristen: Coming from
an asian household,
31
00:02:06,777 --> 00:02:09,895
I was pretty much told that
I was gonna be a doctor,
32
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,030
and I adopted that as mine.
33
00:02:12,116 --> 00:02:13,493
And then, I stumbled
across teal,
34
00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:18,403
and I was just like, "okay,
this feels real to me."
35
00:02:18,522 --> 00:02:21,573
and that's when I decided
to drop out of college.
36
00:02:21,692 --> 00:02:23,887
Is there anyone that would
want to film a testimonial
37
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:24,860
of your experience?
38
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,461
Go for it.
39
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,529
That was beautiful.
40
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,859
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
41
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,310
- I don't know if
you guys know this,
42
00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:32,918
but cyan wasn't the name I was
born with and legally have.
43
00:02:33,036 --> 00:02:34,253
Do you know that?
44
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:39,258
my actual legal name is matthew.
45
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,904
Are you familiar
with teal's work?
46
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,455
- No, I'm not. Cyan:
Both teal and I,
47
00:02:42,479 --> 00:02:44,207
at the same time, were like,
something feels so different
48
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,042
to where, like, my
name doesn't even feel
49
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,316
like it matches me anymore,
50
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,768
like that's some other identity,
51
00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:52,387
and then, we came up
with this name together.
52
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,921
matthias: Back
home, in germany,
53
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,112
I used to be a tennis coach.
54
00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:01,925
Teal called me, and she said,
55
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,042
"you know what, I
have the intuition
56
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:05,000
"that you've been managing
57
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,335
"and coaching tennis players.
58
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,171
What do you think
about managing me?"
59
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,096
and immediately, I said yes.
60
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:15,410
my number one goal right now
61
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:18,380
is to get her as
big as possible.
62
00:03:21,585 --> 00:03:24,102
- When you first
see her, it just...
63
00:03:24,221 --> 00:03:26,232
You know, your whole world
explodes, and it's like,
64
00:03:26,256 --> 00:03:29,691
"who is this creature?
Are you even human?"
65
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,109
you know?
66
00:03:31,228 --> 00:03:34,947
How do you have this answer
that no one else has?
67
00:03:35,032 --> 00:03:39,534
I eat, breathe, sleep
in this process.
68
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,099
I don't think I've
really left her side
69
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,625
for the last seven years.
70
00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:58,971
teal: Everyone around
me has made the decision
71
00:03:59,056 --> 00:04:01,223
to dedicate their
life to this mission.
72
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,580
We're ready to sacrifice
anything for it.
73
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,606
everyone has to
have that attitude.
74
00:04:14,638 --> 00:04:17,439
That's what it takes to go
to the altitude I'm going to.
75
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,839
Follower: Good morning!
Follower: Good morning.
76
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,496
How are you?
77
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,350
- I... okay, so I made it...
78
00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:48,303
This is why I am wanting
to have this conversation.
79
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,533
This community, obviously
based on the fact
80
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,452
that it's oriented
around this mission,
81
00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:53,892
with me at the spearhead of it,
82
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:54,893
functions a lot differently
83
00:04:55,012 --> 00:04:57,696
than most intentional
communities.
84
00:04:57,781 --> 00:04:59,701
It's not a real
safe community...
85
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:03,346
Both because of the
level of pressure
86
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,881
that we're under all the
time and the level of attacks
87
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,605
we get all the time.
88
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:09,308
So my only safety
is this community.
89
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,043
It's all the people around me.
90
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,678
I'm in the middle here,
91
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,547
and, like, my community forms
this little circle, like that.
92
00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:17,394
And that is my everything.
Juliana: Mm-hmm.
93
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:21,036
Teal: And, like, blake is the
person that I'm closest to.
94
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,823
He's my safe place, and,
like, I need him in my life.
95
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,743
The problem comes whenever
a girl that he's with
96
00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:30,395
has a truth that
opposes mine in any way.
97
00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:31,797
Juliana: Mm-hmm.
98
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,599
- He acts like a little noodle,
99
00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:36,868
and then, it's
about her versus me.
100
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,465
I don't want it to
be that same dynamic,
101
00:05:38,489 --> 00:05:40,233
'cause, like, the reality
of blake's life so far,
102
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,068
unless he changes
his mind, is this.
103
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,453
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Sure.
104
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,712
That's, like... I got... I
got to know him that way,
105
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,481
so I didn't expect
something different.
106
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,567
I really want to work
107
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:54,297
where I feel like I have purpose
108
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,954
and can do something,
109
00:05:56,056 --> 00:06:00,292
and having this community place
pretty much is what I want.
110
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:04,780
I would... it would be the
optimal thing to live in,
111
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:08,500
and I am, like, open to
experience it and find out.
112
00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:13,405
Teal: We're terrified.
113
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,906
- About?
114
00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:15,841
Teal: Getting attached
to a new person
115
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,009
and having it go south again.
116
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:21,012
And community with
us means a lot of...
117
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,647
A lot of intense things.
118
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:27,452
- We've had community
members turn/leave,
119
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,321
because people aren't expecting
120
00:06:29,439 --> 00:06:31,167
teal's persona to be what it is.
121
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,585
Teal: It's never like,
"oh, let's chill."
122
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:33,892
there is no chill.
123
00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:37,963
There is always weird, like,
interpersonal shit going on
124
00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:39,398
and intentions.
125
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,077
Do you have any questions
for us about anything?
126
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,035
Juliana: I don't
know right now.
127
00:06:49,059 --> 00:06:50,587
Teal: Your head's
still spinning.
128
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,043
- No, not really spinning.
129
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,929
It's just, I don't know,
130
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,149
maybe I have more questions
later on, I guess.
131
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,586
Mm-hmm.
132
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:07,626
hi.
133
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,227
Juliana: Hi.
134
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,096
How do you feel?
135
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,030
- G-good.
136
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,633
I mean, that was...
137
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,518
I mean, it's kind of intense.
138
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,502
And how are you?
139
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,403
Juliana: Same.
140
00:07:20,891 --> 00:07:22,018
before I came here, it was like,
141
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,209
okay, this is not a normal thing
142
00:07:24,328 --> 00:07:25,577
where you have a partner.
143
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,490
I was aware that, if that works,
144
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,459
I have a whole family
at the same time.
145
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,734
So if I don't get
around with one of them,
146
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:33,969
this won't work.
147
00:07:37,274 --> 00:07:38,818
I feel society, in general,
148
00:07:38,842 --> 00:07:41,209
they have, like, a totally
different understanding
149
00:07:41,278 --> 00:07:43,228
from what is a family.
150
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,530
People should go more into
151
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,409
with whom do they
feel comfortable
152
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:50,068
and where is, like, my
heart tribe, my soul tribe.
153
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,270
Where do you really
feel at home?
154
00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:53,955
That's usually not the family.
155
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,306
Americans are a
little bit crazy.
156
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,664
- Yeah, we're a little bit.
157
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,549
- just a little.
158
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:09,087
- Well, you're a little crazy
too for coming out here.
159
00:08:09,206 --> 00:08:10,206
- I am.
160
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:16,528
Blake: This bike path will take
us all the way to the walmart.
161
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,799
juliana: Okay.
162
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:25,677
Teal: Juliana does not
understand what we do.
163
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:30,291
She got interested, and
then came for a training,
164
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,650
but I don't feel like
she's gotten a real taste
165
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,113
of what she's signing up
for yet, which is scary.
166
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,232
Shay: All right,
ladies and gentlemen.
167
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:45,624
We have a very special
guest: Teal swan.
168
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,353
So for people who
don't know you,
169
00:08:47,377 --> 00:08:50,312
how would you boil
down your philosophy
170
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,264
and what it is you do exactly?
171
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,010
- What I essentially
define myself as
172
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,245
is an expert in human suffering.
173
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,429
I want to help people
get out of suffering.
174
00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,272
Shay: Why do people call
you a cult leader, though?
175
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,519
- Because they know it's
gonna scare people off me.
176
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:03,703
Shay: That's... that's true.
177
00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:05,255
That is a good... That
is a good way to do it.
178
00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:08,224
yeah, I like to
think about cults
179
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,116
as... as really
having a foundation
180
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,752
and a system of
control of people.
181
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,153
Shay: Mm-hmm.
182
00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:18,006
Do you think that cult leaders
start out with ill intent,
183
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,269
or that a lot of times...
- No.
184
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,158
Shay: Yeah. Yeah.
- I don't.
185
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,414
But I think most people
186
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,062
who evolve into cult leadership
187
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,209
aren't really looking
at their own shadows.
188
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,800
- Yeah. Oh, for sure.
189
00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:30,113
And then, what are your thoughts
190
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,604
on everything that the
media has been saying
191
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,022
about what you do and...
192
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,618
- so, like, here's
the thing: I find...
193
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,842
I have been on the
opposite end of the scale,
194
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,271
where people saying whatever
they want to say about me
195
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,370
has done so much
damage to my career.
196
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,760
I think one of the biggest
mistakes I ever made
197
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,133
was to ignore it.
198
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,585
- Mm.
199
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,988
200
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,168
reporter: Over the last year,
I've been trying to figure out
201
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,360
who teal really is and
understand her influence.
202
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,980
To her followers, she's
a savior, a healer.
203
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,333
To her critics,
she's a narcissist,
204
00:10:01,451 --> 00:10:03,001
a dangerous cult leader.
205
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,837
Whatever you feel about her at
this point, she is a catalyst.
206
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:11,059
- hey, I'm gonna talk
to the cops now, okay?
207
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,824
Police officer:
Hello. Is this blake?
208
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:15,925
Blake: Yeah, this is him.
209
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,060
Police officer: What
you got going on?
210
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,351
- Well, we have a woman
211
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:24,222
that has sent us about
100 threatening mess
212
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,802
policer officer: -
Towards you guys?Man
213
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,677
- yeah, like, "you need to
pay me back for my training,
214
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:29,865
"you narcissist.
215
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,908
"wait till what's
coming your way.
216
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,683
I'll expose the shit
you actually are."
217
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,095
police officer:
Yeah. Now, you said
218
00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:38,787
there was something
recently, like this week.
219
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,740
- This is all this...
This is all two days ago.
220
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,419
Police officer:
Okay. So all right.
221
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,011
We'll go check on her,
and thanks for calling.
222
00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:47,969
- All right. Appreciate you.
223
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:53,852
We get hate messages and
threats pretty often.
224
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,531
"no one hates
themselves but you,
225
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,595
"and you are a
gaslighting narcissist.
226
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,535
"the fact that you sit around
and tell the most beautiful,
227
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,270
"loving souls that
they hate themselves
228
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,594
"then they clearly don't,
229
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,649
you need to be
executed."
230
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,199
.
231
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,666
Teal: This issue
with my haters,
232
00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:16,207
it's just like this
festering wound.
233
00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:17,475
It is so overwhelming,
234
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,944
I don't even know
where to start, so...
235
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,791
- I feel like, especially
in the spiritual field,
236
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:24,082
people have more expectations
around everything.
237
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,828
Teal: Mm-hmm. You do.
238
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,113
Let's say that
you're a pop star,
239
00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:29,788
and people are like,
"that bitch."
240
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,367
okay, you're just gonna
sell a lot more albums,
241
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,669
'cause people don't
know about you,
242
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,753
and they don't really
care if you're a bitch
243
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,109
if you got good music.
244
00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:36,873
That's not the case for
someone in my career.
245
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,057
If somebody says, "this
person's dangerous,"
246
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,044
and I'm in the
business of healing,
247
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,246
that's no different than
graffitiing "people die here"
248
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,703
on the outside of a hospital.
249
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,288
It prevents people from
coming through the door.
250
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,992
I want the process I take
people through around suicide
251
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,271
to be something that's adopted
252
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,956
in the mainstream
psychology fields,
253
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,449
but I didn't understand
254
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,312
that people thought
it would be possible
255
00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:02,003
that entertaining the
concept of suicide
256
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,923
would cause people
to commit suicide.
257
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,307
Juliana: Yes.
258
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,371
Teal: My reputation has been
tarnished to such a degree
259
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,661
I can't seem to make money
260
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,907
in the way that I
need to make money
261
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,931
in order to
fight this stuff.
262
00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:14,427
So I am, like, literally
in a place where I'm like,
263
00:12:14,451 --> 00:12:16,162
"is the message
that I'm only safe
264
00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:17,485
if I marry a multibillionaire?"
265
00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:19,487
is that my... this is my answer.
266
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,178
267
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,617
I don't know why you
guys are, like, so quiet.
268
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:41,159
Do you not feel as
powerless as I feel to this?
269
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,995
Blake: Absolutely.
That's why I'm so silent.
270
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,296
- There's a powerlessness,
271
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,485
but there's never a
point where I give up.
272
00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:49,234
I always look for more options.
273
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:02,180
We hired a private investigator
274
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,516
to help us to
clear up the facts.
275
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:05,695
I mean, it's very clear.
276
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,819
You know, um,
277
00:13:07,904 --> 00:13:10,054
people call her "the
suicide catalyst,"
278
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,157
which is absolutely not true.
279
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,725
There is no ground,
280
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,805
and it's the same with
the cult, you know?
281
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:19,164
People are very easily
talking about a cult,
282
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,533
and it's super damaging.
283
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,188
Molly: I'm going to record, if
you would give me permission.
284
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,255
- Okay. Let me see
how to do this.
285
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,352
Molly: And I'll
adjust my camera here.
286
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,177
Matthias: So my main concern,
obviously, by hiring you,
287
00:13:32,262 --> 00:13:34,245
is to find out the truth
288
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,614
and to see if there is
something I'm missing,
289
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:40,218
or you know, what a third
party actually can find out.
290
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,165
- My job is to dig
through the mud
291
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:44,522
and see if I can find any
nuggets of truth in there.
292
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,790
When someone would say,
293
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,326
"we heard these horrible
things about you,"
294
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,562
and then you can
say, "well, here.
295
00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:53,164
"read this. This is the truth.
296
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,911
"this is a third-party,
independent,
297
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,168
"unedited investigation
298
00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:02,290
that we had no influence
over the content of."
299
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,542
that's basically what I do.
300
00:14:04,628 --> 00:14:05,905
Matthias: That would
definitely be helpful,
301
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,413
so I know at least where
we are, and you know.
302
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,049
- Right. Okay, all righty.
Matthias: You know? Yeah.
303
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,945
- I'll go have a...
I'll go have a look.
304
00:14:12,969 --> 00:14:14,052
305
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,120
I'm old, okay?
306
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:20,425
So I miss the newscasters
from the '50s, you know,
307
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,877
where... where... Where
the news organization
308
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,230
was not profit-driven,
309
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,199
where... where you
could count on it
310
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:32,720
to have some credibility.
311
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,256
People don't have
rolodexes anymore,
312
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:37,625
and when I forget a
password, they're still here.
313
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,613
oh, computers.
314
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,449
315
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:50,955
teal: As living beings, we
are hardwired for survival.
316
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,992
But as we all know, sometimes
the painful conditions of life
317
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,443
can overrule that hardwiring,
318
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,097
and instead, we become
motivated towards death.
319
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,576
I want you to know
that I'm going
320
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,434
to be talking to you today
not just from the standpoint
321
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,819
of a spiritual teacher
322
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,455
but also from the
standpoint of a survivor.
323
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,940
And here's the thing:
324
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,542
You've been loosely, and
mostly subconsciously,
325
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:13,711
toying with the idea of suicide.
326
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,581
This time, what I'm going
to encourage you to do
327
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,784
is to consciously imagine
committing suicide.
328
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,489
Molly: I'm trying
to better understand
329
00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:27,058
why professionals
are very concerned
330
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,712
that this video is not
appropriate for people at risk.
331
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,592
Jonathan: So as president
of the american association
332
00:15:32,616 --> 00:15:33,848
of suicidology,
333
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,118
I get a lot of the complaints...
334
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:38,614
- Mm-hmm. Jonathan: Saying,
335
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,439
"visualize your
suicide," to a video,
336
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,792
not knowing what the
emotional state is
337
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,545
of the person on the other
side who's watching it.
338
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:50,381
That is problematic, because
there's no way of knowing
339
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,583
if that's actually
gonna work out.
340
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,263
There's no quality
control there,
341
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,689
and I don't think that it's
defensible in a public forum.
342
00:15:57,807 --> 00:15:59,669
- Was there anything
about doing that video
343
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:02,193
that was scary or
risky-feeling to you?
344
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,496
Did you feel that that could
have actually encouraged you
345
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,609
to take your own life?
346
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,982
Follower: No.
347
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,735
She's just like, "imagine that,
and really feel into that,"
348
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,548
so that... Why
would that be scary?
349
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:16,874
I really find it important
to keep videos like that up.
350
00:16:16,993 --> 00:16:19,233
Follower: You know, I
had psychiatrists tell me
351
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,445
that I was a doormat.
352
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:23,181
I wasn't getting any
kind of compassion...
353
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:24,794
- Whoa. Follower: Or help.
354
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,019
At the time, financially
and with insurance,
355
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:31,022
I couldn't always stick
with the same one, you know,
356
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,875
so the healthcare thing
was kind of hit-and-miss.
357
00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:37,779
- They're claiming that
teal was responsible
358
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:40,064
for leslie's demise,
and... Follower: I know.
359
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,078
just
complete nonsense.
360
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,212
There's nothing I wouldn't do
361
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,081
to help teal and
to defend her...
362
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:48,172
How adamant I am about
her, you know, sincere.
363
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,919
Jonathan: If you're
saying that three people
364
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,510
out of millions of people that
have interacted with teal...
365
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,607
- that we know of. Jonathan:
Yeah, that know of.
366
00:16:54,631 --> 00:16:56,864
You would be really
hard-pressed to say,
367
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:59,095
"these people killed
themselves because of teal."
368
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,185
- are you aware of
some of the attacks
369
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:03,254
that have been made against her?
370
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,773
Follower: I try not to
go down that rabbit hole,
371
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:09,927
because I believe she is
legitimately doing a good thing
372
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:12,363
and trying to help people.
373
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:16,200
Molly: I have little patience
for pejorative slingers,
374
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:20,772
but it just seems that, if
you are attractive, period,
375
00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:23,658
it's one of the criterias
for being a target.
376
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,137
Do you feel that, if you left,
377
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:27,945
that someone would publicly
shame you for leaving,
378
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,414
for any reason?
379
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,133
Follower: Are you
asking if we're a cult?
380
00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:34,652
Molly: It's pretty
hard to see,
381
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,320
in many of these accusations,
382
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,006
being able to stick when you
start talking to these folks.
383
00:17:41,344 --> 00:17:45,730
when you have somebody
who has a lot of followers
384
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,399
and somebody wants to
pick a bone with them,
385
00:17:48,518 --> 00:17:50,146
you just throw the
word "cult" at them,
386
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,936
and suddenly,
387
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:55,673
unfortunately, in many
circles, it sticks.
388
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,127
But I'm going to find the truth.
389
00:17:59,195 --> 00:18:00,611
As I see it.
390
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:11,022
blake: I was doing
this workshop.
391
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:19,297
One of my cp participants
came up to me.
392
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,434
She was beautiful.
393
00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:31,592
We hung out at the
hot springs, and..
394
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,848
I floated you
around in the water.
395
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:42,220
we were in the office,
and I gave you a massage,
396
00:18:42,305 --> 00:18:46,791
maybe crossing the boundaries
of the practitioner/client.
397
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,266
and eight months later,
she moved to utah.
398
00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,420
How lucky am I?
399
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,808
Whoo-hoo!
400
00:19:06,796 --> 00:19:08,876
follower: Aah! Follower:
Let go. Let go.
401
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,883
Wow.
402
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,112
Blake: Juliana's
the first person
403
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:14,702
I've ever been committed to.
404
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:20,291
we're compatible
in tons of ways,
405
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:24,145
and I hope that she
fits in with everyone.
406
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,981
407
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,622
wow.
408
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,708
That's fun.
409
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:43,681
Teal: Juliana is
like this raw stone,
410
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,816
and so, there are
all these edges.
411
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,732
And now, it's
blake's aura color.
412
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,150
Follower: Is it?
- Mm-hmm.
413
00:19:51,174 --> 00:19:53,054
Follower: This is really good.
414
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,637
Teal: And based off
of what happens,
415
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,071
that person either smooths out,
416
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,840
and so, it becomes this
frictionless relationship...
417
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,698
Blake: Oh, my god.
That's so refreshing.
418
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,038
Teal: Or it becomes a problem.
419
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:11,175
We haven't had time
to do enough with her
420
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:15,046
so that we're polished
stones up against each other.
421
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,055
I want you to sense
or feel this bubble,
422
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,277
separating you from
the rest of the world.
423
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:52,550
Now imagine, sense, or feel
the prison of this bubble,
424
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,553
the way it keeps you
isolated and lonely.
425
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,423
And with this bubble burst,
426
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,409
I want you to sense or feel
427
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:05,396
what this loneliness that
lives inside you may need.
428
00:21:07,049 --> 00:21:09,800
Feel it filling that
space up from the inside.
429
00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:26,884
I want you to build that
sensation of companionship
430
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,788
wider and wider
431
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,158
until it fills up
your entire being.
432
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:43,946
Amir: I like
checking things out,
433
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,781
so I go to a lot of
different spiritual stuff.
434
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,055
And I got here, and
my mind was blown.
435
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:52,209
This is so over my head,
436
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:56,497
but I guess I want to
be a part of something.
437
00:21:56,599 --> 00:21:57,760
I want to be a
part of something,
438
00:21:57,784 --> 00:22:00,985
and I haven't found that,
so I'll keep looking.
439
00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:03,671
The level of struggle and...
440
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,990
Is... is, uh...
441
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:07,870
I need... I need... I need help.
442
00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,054
I need help.
443
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,238
- We all need help.
Amir: I need help, yeah.
444
00:22:14,183 --> 00:22:15,183
- What's that?
445
00:22:17,286 --> 00:22:18,664
- Wow, because when
I came last year,
446
00:22:18,688 --> 00:22:20,838
I thought it was
a cult, you know?
447
00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:22,234
Really. Full-blown.
448
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,074
I said that to
you before, right?
449
00:22:23,192 --> 00:22:24,720
- Yeah. Amir: Yeah.
450
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:25,754
I need more love in my life,
451
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:26,838
and I don't know
how it's gonna look,
452
00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:28,324
but I need help,
so I'm just run...
453
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,848
I'm just looking for
someone to help me.
454
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,461
- What do you need from me
in order to feel resolve?
455
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:47,598
Amir: I haven't had
closeness in a long time.
456
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,078
I'm wired to have
a lot of affection,
457
00:22:49,102 --> 00:22:53,204
and so, I'm looking
for more closeness.
458
00:22:53,355 --> 00:22:55,667
- You've got aspects of your
life that aren't going well,
459
00:22:55,691 --> 00:22:58,976
especially relative
to people, right?
460
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,089
And...
- I don't know.
461
00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:01,790
I don't know! For real.
462
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,592
In a way, it's going great.
463
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:04,776
I don't know what this is.
464
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:09,153
I do think god is,
and... and I'm glad.
465
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,571
I was suicidal for a long time,
466
00:23:10,706 --> 00:23:13,758
so I'm glad I...
I'm glad it's there.
467
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:16,043
- Do you know what it's
like talking to you?
468
00:23:16,129 --> 00:23:18,863
There's no cohesive thought.
469
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:22,166
- No cohesive thought?
- No cohesive thought.
470
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:23,901
- That's so interesting.
471
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:26,487
I think I'm doing... I think...
I think everything's great,
472
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:27,938
and I'm doing a good job, and...
473
00:23:28,057 --> 00:23:29,618
- why the do you think
the universe would put you
474
00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:32,092
in front of me if
everything's fine?
475
00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:33,455
Amir: I mean, I
don't know, teal.
476
00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:35,023
- No, I mean, really.
Answer the question.
477
00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:36,892
- No, I don't... I
don't... I don't know.
478
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,549
I... I don't know.
479
00:23:38,651 --> 00:23:40,751
I could just have
a crush on you.
480
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:44,255
It... it could just... it really
just could be a sexual thing
481
00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:45,534
that I've just taken too far,
482
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:48,559
and it's okay, and
that's why I'm here.
483
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:51,173
- If the only reason you're here
484
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:52,875
is because of a
sexual, like, thing,
485
00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:53,781
that's a problem for me.
486
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,527
- Right. Right, right, right.
487
00:23:55,551 --> 00:23:57,952
Right, right, right, right.
488
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:01,238
Teal: I hate this
field, I swear to god.
489
00:24:01,374 --> 00:24:03,334
I hate the
spiritual field.
490
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,794
I'm super angry.
491
00:24:06,929 --> 00:24:08,095
Hi, blake.
492
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:10,259
I'm sitting here in
process with amir.
493
00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:12,494
It was real fun when, in
the middle of our session,
494
00:24:12,518 --> 00:24:14,213
he looks at me and says,
"I'm afraid if you see
495
00:24:14,237 --> 00:24:16,904
all these parts of myself,
you won't want to me,"
496
00:24:16,972 --> 00:24:17,972
so yeah.
497
00:24:18,107 --> 00:24:19,585
That was fun. Blake: Wow.
498
00:24:19,609 --> 00:24:20,969
- You know, "the only
reason I'm here is because
499
00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:22,671
of, you know, being
sexually attracted to you,"
500
00:24:22,695 --> 00:24:24,506
and it's the same
bullshit.
501
00:24:24,530 --> 00:24:26,263
It's like I use my sexuality
502
00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:29,400
kind of like in this demonic
way to attract people.
503
00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:32,603
I would love it if
you would talk to him,
504
00:24:32,705 --> 00:24:33,749
'cause this is .
505
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:40,978
that was not fun.
506
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,591
It's the kind of thing
where you've got somebody
507
00:24:42,615 --> 00:24:46,167
who's, like, really not got
anything going in their life,
508
00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,168
you know?
509
00:24:48,271 --> 00:24:50,804
- Is there any chance
to help him in any way?
510
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:51,755
- It's just like,
you gotta know.
511
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:54,141
It's like a red zone case.
512
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:56,093
He needs so much,
513
00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:59,330
and he will rip the shit out
of any member of our team
514
00:24:59,448 --> 00:25:00,488
who works with him.
515
00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:07,266
Teal: So have you
come more clear
516
00:25:07,290 --> 00:25:09,306
on something you want to see?
517
00:25:09,442 --> 00:25:12,276
Amir: Um...
518
00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:15,312
I think a lot about my mom.
519
00:25:15,448 --> 00:25:18,949
She's been coming in
my dreams recently.
520
00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:20,829
She... she... Before
she took her life,
521
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:24,655
she attempted five times
over the prior seven years.
522
00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:27,119
My dad couldn't understand
that it was a suicide attempt.
523
00:25:27,143 --> 00:25:28,659
He was in that much denial.
524
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,405
I went to an aa meeting.
It was 4:00 p.M.
525
00:25:30,429 --> 00:25:32,274
I left queens, went
to new york city,
526
00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:34,999
and my dad called and
was like, "she's gone."
527
00:25:35,151 --> 00:25:38,736
and I went
up to see her body.
528
00:25:38,854 --> 00:25:40,004
She was split.
529
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:43,641
Her leg was perpendicular, um,
530
00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:45,142
and she looked so peaceful.
531
00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:54,001
that seems unfair. Um...
532
00:25:57,523 --> 00:25:58,634
- Yeah, yeah. I would love to.
533
00:25:58,658 --> 00:26:00,024
I'd love to see her.
534
00:26:06,933 --> 00:26:07,998
- okay.
535
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,734
536
00:26:18,761 --> 00:26:22,863
what we're going to be doing
is what I call channeling.
537
00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:27,017
You're using your body as a
vessel for a specific energy.
538
00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:29,881
You can do it with
people that are living.
539
00:26:29,905 --> 00:26:31,316
You can do it with
people that are dead.
540
00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:33,457
You can do it with anything.
541
00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:35,170
So if I bring in
your dead mother,
542
00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:36,471
that's actually your
dead mother, you guys.
543
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:39,063
I'm working literally
with her thought form.
544
00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:41,298
It's an incredibly
dangerous process.
545
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,500
It's also one of the
most powerful tools
546
00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:45,185
that has ever existed.
547
00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:50,007
Juliana, I deliberately want
to stretch you in with this.
548
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:53,026
I think it's a good idea.
549
00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,613
Juliana: I kind of, like,
knew that when I come here,
550
00:26:55,731 --> 00:26:58,148
that it's not just about
establishing a relationship
551
00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,350
with blake.
552
00:27:02,338 --> 00:27:05,589
I also need to have a good
relationship with teal,
553
00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:09,526
so coming here was
also committing to her.
554
00:27:09,645 --> 00:27:11,929
I want to make it work.
555
00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:16,567
Teal: Come here.
556
00:27:16,685 --> 00:27:18,002
So ask her to...
557
00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:20,604
Ask her if she will choose with
her free will to guide you,
558
00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:22,317
and then you have to say
your mother's full name.
559
00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:23,435
Amir: Do you, with
your free will,
560
00:27:23,459 --> 00:27:26,810
choose the consciousness
of talit bajua?
561
00:27:33,619 --> 00:27:35,900
Amir: I just want to spend
some time with you, mom.
562
00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:48,065
- you are, mom.
563
00:27:57,493 --> 00:27:58,804
- Do you feel like
you're stuck anywhere,
564
00:27:58,828 --> 00:27:59,710
or do you...
565
00:27:59,812 --> 00:28:01,145
- where are you stuck?
566
00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:14,558
Teal: She hasn't
completely crossed.
567
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:19,873
teal: Yeah. Amir: Yeah?
568
00:28:19,965 --> 00:28:22,327
Teal: Yeah. The thing is,
you're not responsible anymore.
569
00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:26,381
teal: You can let go.
570
00:28:26,405 --> 00:28:29,306
Juliana: No, I can't do that.
571
00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:30,607
- Do you see this?
572
00:28:30,693 --> 00:28:32,721
From where you are, you
can't do anything anymore
573
00:28:32,745 --> 00:28:33,865
to help either of them.
574
00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:38,182
Amir: No. It's okay,
mom. I love you so much.
575
00:28:38,284 --> 00:28:40,834
- Amir, just think about
whether there's anything
576
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,938
you feel like you need to
say that will release her.
577
00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:56,950
- I forgive you,
mom. I forgive you.
578
00:28:57,036 --> 00:28:58,635
Juliana: I cannot do it.
579
00:28:58,704 --> 00:28:59,815
Amir: I want you to let go
580
00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:02,005
of the responsibility
you feel, mom.
581
00:29:02,141 --> 00:29:05,159
You've helped me so much
since you passed away.
582
00:29:06,679 --> 00:29:10,047
I accept... I accept my life.
583
00:29:10,149 --> 00:29:12,616
I want you to know
I like my life.
584
00:29:12,685 --> 00:29:16,353
I struggle a lot,
but I like my life.
585
00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:22,910
teal: Now, you can tell her.
586
00:29:24,463 --> 00:29:27,564
- Mom, you can go.
587
00:29:27,716 --> 00:29:28,716
You can go.
588
00:29:44,984 --> 00:29:45,984
- Okay.
589
00:30:12,127 --> 00:30:16,013
Juliana: That was so intense.
590
00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:20,100
It was also surprising to me
that I was that energized.
591
00:30:20,186 --> 00:30:24,221
And I wasn't aware that I'm
that good in doing that.
592
00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:25,433
Teal: You were really good.
593
00:30:25,457 --> 00:30:26,568
Juliana: I wasn't
aware of that,
594
00:30:26,592 --> 00:30:28,892
so I was surprised.
595
00:30:28,978 --> 00:30:31,428
Really surprised.
596
00:30:31,564 --> 00:30:33,591
Teal: Like, I feel like
you're better at this with me
597
00:30:33,615 --> 00:30:36,600
than people who have been
on my team for years.
598
00:30:39,321 --> 00:30:40,437
Juliana: Wow.
599
00:30:40,556 --> 00:30:42,739
600
00:30:42,825 --> 00:30:45,792
601
00:30:52,501 --> 00:30:54,034
I feel at home.
602
00:30:55,804 --> 00:30:58,505
It's a totally different
home, but I feel at home.
603
00:31:04,146 --> 00:31:06,346
Teal is like a big sister to me.
604
00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:10,100
She's changed my mind completely
605
00:31:10,185 --> 00:31:12,002
how you can approach healing.
606
00:31:14,573 --> 00:31:17,093
Teal: I like to think of those
of you who are standing here
607
00:31:17,159 --> 00:31:19,059
as my little army.
608
00:31:19,144 --> 00:31:20,322
I see you all as the people
609
00:31:20,346 --> 00:31:22,946
who are going to be the
change in this world
610
00:31:23,032 --> 00:31:25,415
instead of the people who
simply look at this world
611
00:31:25,517 --> 00:31:28,185
as if it has to change.
612
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,653
I want to personally thank you
613
00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:32,022
for the level of bravery
it took to come here
614
00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:33,435
and especially for your bravery
615
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:35,819
to be connected when the
whole world is disconnecting.
616
00:31:37,463 --> 00:31:42,065
Freedom is in the
reclaiming of self
617
00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:45,335
and the turning of life's
cyanide into honey.
618
00:31:56,949 --> 00:31:59,733
619
00:32:16,218 --> 00:32:17,412
blake: It has, like,
nothing to do with...
620
00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:19,469
Follower: Yeah,
that's so random.
621
00:32:19,555 --> 00:32:20,470
It would be these two.
622
00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:21,655
Juliana: Okay.
623
00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:23,285
Follower: You guys. You guys.
624
00:32:23,309 --> 00:32:24,786
Blake: They don't know
how to play this game.
625
00:32:24,810 --> 00:32:26,588
We're just gonna
have to roll with it.
626
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:27,477
All right. Do I read it?
627
00:32:27,596 --> 00:32:28,996
Juliana: Mm-hmm.
628
00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:32,215
- And you're putting the one
that you think I would choose?
629
00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:33,417
- Mm-hmm.
630
00:32:36,305 --> 00:32:38,216
Blake: I didn't
know if juliana
631
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:39,751
would fit well
into the community.
632
00:32:39,775 --> 00:32:41,219
Follower: You win the card.
Follower: You win. Yeah.
633
00:32:41,243 --> 00:32:44,494
- "alternative medicine
is now embracing
634
00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:46,663
the curative powers of..."
635
00:32:46,732 --> 00:32:49,766
"my balls on your face."
636
00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:54,204
"of looking in the
mirror, applying lipstick,
637
00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:57,223
and whispering, "tonight, you
will have sex with tom cruise."
638
00:32:57,343 --> 00:32:59,476
that could be very healing.
639
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:03,513
to make this work,
640
00:33:03,582 --> 00:33:07,401
you have to choose teal's
mission to be your mission.
641
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:11,171
- Oh, probably this one.
That was pretty funny.
642
00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:15,993
blake: She fits
in with everyone.
643
00:33:16,078 --> 00:33:19,579
I never could have imagined
what my life has become.
644
00:33:22,284 --> 00:33:25,268
I just feel good about
everything in a way.
645
00:33:36,031 --> 00:33:41,385
Molly: At what point
in teal's career
646
00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:44,121
did you enter the picture?
647
00:33:44,223 --> 00:33:47,541
Jared: I first
met teal in 2012.
648
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:49,120
I was already having
a hard time in life.
649
00:33:49,144 --> 00:33:50,304
I had just gotten divorced
650
00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:52,896
and went on this, like,
spiritual journey,
651
00:33:52,981 --> 00:33:53,914
trying to find myself.
652
00:33:53,982 --> 00:33:54,865
Molly: Uh-huh.
653
00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:56,566
- She always came off as, like,
654
00:33:56,652 --> 00:33:58,780
"there's so much that
you are going to learn.
655
00:33:58,804 --> 00:34:00,598
"there's so much that
I have to teach you.
656
00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:02,923
"like, don't throw
spirituality away
657
00:34:02,975 --> 00:34:04,469
"just because you're
leaving mormonism.
658
00:34:04,493 --> 00:34:05,792
There's so much more."
659
00:34:05,928 --> 00:34:08,378
she's trying to help
make a better world.
660
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,125
I want to make the better world,
661
00:34:10,149 --> 00:34:12,582
and so, I told her,
"hey, I want to do this.
662
00:34:12,668 --> 00:34:15,185
Hell or high water, I'm gonna
make your vision a reality."
663
00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:17,203
I helped her with the website,
664
00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:18,772
I moved in with her.
665
00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:20,819
Molly: Right. Okay, so
then you get involved.
666
00:34:20,843 --> 00:34:23,693
What was she actually
selling at that point?
667
00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:27,397
- Frequency paintings that
had the power to heal people.
668
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:28,298
Molly: Okay.
669
00:34:28,434 --> 00:34:30,117
Did they?
670
00:34:30,185 --> 00:34:31,468
- Well, I was staring
671
00:34:31,620 --> 00:34:34,755
at several that I bought in
my room for several years,
672
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,772
and they did not work.
673
00:34:35,841 --> 00:34:36,940
Molly: Okay.
674
00:34:37,058 --> 00:34:40,460
Were you paid anything
for your services?
675
00:34:40,529 --> 00:34:41,529
Were you...
676
00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:42,957
- Um... Molly: Salaried, or...
677
00:34:42,981 --> 00:34:45,849
- I mean, I was
given room and board.
678
00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:48,135
Molly: All right.
- Yeah.
679
00:34:48,203 --> 00:34:50,203
Molly: Interesting.
680
00:34:50,289 --> 00:34:52,973
Have you ever heard of anybody
681
00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:55,008
choosing to no
longer participate
682
00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:57,143
being ostracized in any way?
683
00:34:57,246 --> 00:35:00,831
- I mean, like, my
exit wasn't very nice.
684
00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:05,285
The moment the tv
camera would go off,
685
00:35:05,387 --> 00:35:08,655
the moment she would go behind
closed door at a conference,
686
00:35:08,757 --> 00:35:11,858
any of that, it just unleashed.
687
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,205
The last thing... I think
the last thing she told me
688
00:35:14,229 --> 00:35:15,309
as I'm, like, leaving,
689
00:35:15,397 --> 00:35:17,025
and everyone's, like,
ganged up on me,
690
00:35:17,049 --> 00:35:21,985
she said, "if I were you, I
would just go kill myself,
691
00:35:22,104 --> 00:35:24,721
'cause there's
no hope for you."
692
00:35:25,858 --> 00:35:27,908
- well...
693
00:35:27,993 --> 00:35:31,044
Whoo, that's a lot.
694
00:35:31,163 --> 00:35:34,014
- Oh, it gets a lot
more interesting, molly.
695
00:35:40,255 --> 00:35:41,950
jared: I wanted this so badly.
696
00:35:41,974 --> 00:35:44,207
I was so washed.
697
00:35:44,326 --> 00:35:45,225
And, like, when I
say I was washed,
698
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:46,971
she, like, would
constantly ask us,
699
00:35:46,995 --> 00:35:50,046
like, "you're gonna leave me.
You're gonna leave me, jared.
700
00:35:50,149 --> 00:35:51,593
You're gonna give
up on all this."
701
00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:53,328
and I'm like, "no, I'm not.
No, I won't. I'll do anything."
702
00:35:53,352 --> 00:35:55,752
she's like, "what are you
willing to do for this cause?"
703
00:35:55,871 --> 00:35:59,489
and I told her I'd be
willing to kill someone
704
00:35:59,558 --> 00:36:01,775
and bury them in the backyard.
705
00:36:11,453 --> 00:36:13,114
molly: It feels like a burden,
706
00:36:13,138 --> 00:36:16,006
that I've found some
of this stuff out,
707
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:20,227
because now, I'm
responsible for including it
708
00:36:20,312 --> 00:36:23,413
and being honest
about what I found.
709
00:36:23,531 --> 00:36:28,084
It's the pandora's box you wish
you'd left closed, you know,
710
00:36:28,187 --> 00:36:34,558
but now that it's
here, it's here.
711
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:35,803
Teal: Blake, I need to know
712
00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:37,222
where you guys
are on everything.
713
00:36:37,246 --> 00:36:38,406
I need to know what
you're thinking.
714
00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:39,741
I don't feel like
we're on the same page.
715
00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:41,593
Obviously, we haven't
spent enough time together.
716
00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:43,583
- I know. It's been weeks,
717
00:36:43,685 --> 00:36:45,430
and she's only been
here for weeks.
718
00:36:45,454 --> 00:36:49,072
it's one
month yesterday.
719
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,262
I'm thinking of asking
720
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:59,716
for her to marry
me in two weeks.
721
00:36:59,818 --> 00:37:03,236
- Okay. Well, thank
you for telling me.
722
00:37:03,288 --> 00:37:04,837
What are you thinking?
723
00:37:04,940 --> 00:37:07,657
- Well, I don't
know. I mean, just...
724
00:37:07,776 --> 00:37:09,003
Teal: Well, do you think
she's on the same page?
725
00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:10,205
Have you guys talked about this?
726
00:37:10,229 --> 00:37:11,606
- A little bit. Yeah.
Teal: Well, come on.
727
00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:12,941
What have you
guys said? Like...
728
00:37:12,965 --> 00:37:16,766
Blake: We've just been,
like, just planning stuff.
729
00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:18,134
Yeah.
730
00:37:18,286 --> 00:37:21,204
- Two-week proposal leaves you
zero room for rings, blake.
731
00:37:21,290 --> 00:37:22,872
What are you doing?
732
00:37:22,958 --> 00:37:25,124
- Well, that's... I'll
get a wedding ring.
733
00:37:25,260 --> 00:37:26,109
Teal: Do you want
help with that?
734
00:37:26,211 --> 00:37:27,805
Blake: Yeah.
- Okay.
735
00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:34,784
how do you feel about
the ending of the saga
736
00:37:34,903 --> 00:37:38,138
of the romantic
feelings towards me?
737
00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:40,790
Blake: Ending of that
saga? Teal: Mm-hmm.
738
00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:43,593
- I mean, I still think
you're sexy as hell.
739
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,781
blake: You know.
- Thank you.
740
00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:52,151
She doesn't react when
you touch me, so...
741
00:37:52,254 --> 00:37:55,005
- Well, she doesn't. Teal:
I've been watching her.
742
00:37:55,156 --> 00:37:56,122
Has she said anything?
743
00:37:56,174 --> 00:37:57,986
- Well, there has
been no conversation
744
00:37:58,010 --> 00:38:00,343
about my romantic
feelings towards you.
745
00:38:00,495 --> 00:38:02,106
- Good. There shouldn't be.
746
00:38:02,130 --> 00:38:04,108
She doesn't react.
I've been watching her.
747
00:38:04,132 --> 00:38:05,977
Blake: Mm-hmm.
- It's a good thing.
748
00:38:06,001 --> 00:38:08,852
- Yeah. You know.
749
00:38:09,004 --> 00:38:11,187
- I love this. Blake:
I know. Me too.
750
00:38:11,306 --> 00:38:13,251
- She sounds super
compatible, blake.
751
00:38:13,275 --> 00:38:15,642
- Yeah.
752
00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:17,310
Wow.
753
00:38:23,452 --> 00:38:25,068
Teal: Good, blake.
754
00:38:28,156 --> 00:38:31,041
755
00:39:30,218 --> 00:39:33,603
teal: It's like an offering.
756
00:39:33,755 --> 00:39:36,389
These amplify and
magnify everything.
757
00:39:44,099 --> 00:39:46,933
officiant: Marriage requires
a lot of forgiveness.
758
00:39:47,035 --> 00:39:49,080
It requires respecting
the other person,
759
00:39:49,104 --> 00:39:50,932
even when you
disagree with them.
760
00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:52,796
And it requires the maturity
761
00:39:52,941 --> 00:39:54,435
to put someone else
before yourself
762
00:39:54,459 --> 00:39:57,744
but not so much that you forget
who you are as an individual.
763
00:39:57,796 --> 00:39:59,524
From this moment on,
nothing in your life
764
00:39:59,548 --> 00:40:01,726
is to take priority over
the comfort and well-being
765
00:40:01,750 --> 00:40:04,150
of the person that you're
holding hands with right now.
766
00:40:52,968 --> 00:40:55,334
- I was given a
list of the things
767
00:40:55,437 --> 00:40:59,556
that people had to agree to to
be part of this inner circle.
768
00:41:01,843 --> 00:41:04,227
- That most of it is illegal.
769
00:41:04,345 --> 00:41:06,679
Teal: A normal life
is not compatible
770
00:41:06,781 --> 00:41:08,159
with the life that
we are leading.
771
00:41:08,183 --> 00:41:09,660
Follower: I didn't come
here to keep learning,
772
00:41:09,684 --> 00:41:11,012
and learning, and
learning, and...
773
00:41:11,036 --> 00:41:12,346
Teal: You want to
know the reality?
774
00:41:12,370 --> 00:41:14,015
If people don't start
doing this kind of work
775
00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:15,850
on themselves...
Headed off a cliff.
776
00:41:15,874 --> 00:41:18,992
- I don't feel like
we can force them.
777
00:41:19,044 --> 00:41:21,461
- You literally just
crossed the line.
778
00:41:21,546 --> 00:41:22,626
Now, we have problems.
59983
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.