1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,941 2 00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:20,169 - in 2012, I founded a company called tli. 3 00:00:22,072 --> 00:00:25,457 Tli's job is to carry out my vision. 4 00:00:25,576 --> 00:00:27,292 But it's not just my vision. 5 00:00:27,411 --> 00:00:30,295 It's a vision that many on this earth share. 6 00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:32,598 You could fit all of these things 7 00:00:32,717 --> 00:00:35,601 which I see for this world under one title: 8 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,020 Positive world change. 9 00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:41,473 My intention is to build a company 10 00:00:41,592 --> 00:00:45,694 that is so large and so unstoppable 11 00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:48,096 that nothing can come up against it, 12 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,699 a company whose intentions are so pure 13 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,101 that not even the people who created the company... 14 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:57,322 Not even the executives, the ceos, the directors... 15 00:00:57,441 --> 00:00:59,041 Can come up against it. 16 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,661 My joy on this planet is carrying out that vision, 17 00:01:02,797 --> 00:01:04,496 and so, I will. 18 00:01:04,615 --> 00:01:05,798 Have a good week. 19 00:01:05,883 --> 00:01:08,751 20 00:01:25,636 --> 00:01:28,437 21 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,836 teal: I'm carrying the responsibility 22 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,861 of so much of this mission, 23 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:39,915 but it's so dependent upon the people around me. 24 00:01:44,088 --> 00:01:46,839 The people who are the most dedicated to this, 25 00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,685 they know me on a very close, personal level, 26 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,459 and it's like my inner circle. 27 00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:56,265 Originally, they started as volunteers, 28 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:59,268 people who wanted to learn from me 29 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:02,187 in exchange for working for me. 30 00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:06,753 Tristen: Coming from an asian household, 31 00:02:06,777 --> 00:02:09,895 I was pretty much told that I was gonna be a doctor, 32 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,030 and I adopted that as mine. 33 00:02:12,116 --> 00:02:13,493 And then, I stumbled across teal, 34 00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:18,403 and I was just like, "okay, this feels real to me." 35 00:02:18,522 --> 00:02:21,573 and that's when I decided to drop out of college. 36 00:02:21,692 --> 00:02:23,887 Is there anyone that would want to film a testimonial 37 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:24,860 of your experience? 38 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,461 Go for it. 39 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,529 That was beautiful. 40 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,859 Perfect. Absolutely perfect. 41 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,310 - I don't know if you guys know this, 42 00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:32,918 but cyan wasn't the name I was born with and legally have. 43 00:02:33,036 --> 00:02:34,253 Do you know that? 44 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:39,258 my actual legal name is matthew. 45 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,904 Are you familiar with teal's work? 46 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,455 - No, I'm not. Cyan: Both teal and I, 47 00:02:42,479 --> 00:02:44,207 at the same time, were like, something feels so different 48 00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,042 to where, like, my name doesn't even feel 49 00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,316 like it matches me anymore, 50 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,768 like that's some other identity, 51 00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:52,387 and then, we came up with this name together. 52 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,921 matthias: Back home, in germany, 53 00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,112 I used to be a tennis coach. 54 00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:01,925 Teal called me, and she said, 55 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,042 "you know what, I have the intuition 56 00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:05,000 "that you've been managing 57 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,335 "and coaching tennis players. 58 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,171 What do you think about managing me?" 59 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,096 and immediately, I said yes. 60 00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:15,410 my number one goal right now 61 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:18,380 is to get her as big as possible. 62 00:03:21,585 --> 00:03:24,102 - When you first see her, it just... 63 00:03:24,221 --> 00:03:26,232 You know, your whole world explodes, and it's like, 64 00:03:26,256 --> 00:03:29,691 "who is this creature? Are you even human?" 65 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,109 you know? 66 00:03:31,228 --> 00:03:34,947 How do you have this answer that no one else has? 67 00:03:35,032 --> 00:03:39,534 I eat, breathe, sleep in this process. 68 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,099 I don't think I've really left her side 69 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,625 for the last seven years. 70 00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:58,971 teal: Everyone around me has made the decision 71 00:03:59,056 --> 00:04:01,223 to dedicate their life to this mission. 72 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,580 We're ready to sacrifice anything for it. 73 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,606 everyone has to have that attitude. 74 00:04:14,638 --> 00:04:17,439 That's what it takes to go to the altitude I'm going to. 75 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,839 Follower: Good morning! Follower: Good morning. 76 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,496 How are you? 77 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,350 - I... okay, so I made it... 78 00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:48,303 This is why I am wanting to have this conversation. 79 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,533 This community, obviously based on the fact 80 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,452 that it's oriented around this mission, 81 00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:53,892 with me at the spearhead of it, 82 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:54,893 functions a lot differently 83 00:04:55,012 --> 00:04:57,696 than most intentional communities. 84 00:04:57,781 --> 00:04:59,701 It's not a real safe community... 85 00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:03,346 Both because of the level of pressure 86 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,881 that we're under all the time and the level of attacks 87 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,605 we get all the time. 88 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:09,308 So my only safety is this community. 89 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,043 It's all the people around me. 90 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,678 I'm in the middle here, 91 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,547 and, like, my community forms this little circle, like that. 92 00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:17,394 And that is my everything. Juliana: Mm-hmm. 93 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:21,036 Teal: And, like, blake is the person that I'm closest to. 94 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,823 He's my safe place, and, like, I need him in my life. 95 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,743 The problem comes whenever a girl that he's with 96 00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:30,395 has a truth that opposes mine in any way. 97 00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:31,797 Juliana: Mm-hmm. 98 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,599 - He acts like a little noodle, 99 00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:36,868 and then, it's about her versus me. 100 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,465 I don't want it to be that same dynamic, 101 00:05:38,489 --> 00:05:40,233 'cause, like, the reality of blake's life so far, 102 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,068 unless he changes his mind, is this. 103 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,453 - Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Sure. 104 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,712 That's, like... I got... I got to know him that way, 105 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,481 so I didn't expect something different. 106 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,567 I really want to work 107 00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:54,297 where I feel like I have purpose 108 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,954 and can do something, 109 00:05:56,056 --> 00:06:00,292 and having this community place pretty much is what I want. 110 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:04,780 I would... it would be the optimal thing to live in, 111 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:08,500 and I am, like, open to experience it and find out. 112 00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:13,405 Teal: We're terrified. 113 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,906 - About? 114 00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:15,841 Teal: Getting attached to a new person 115 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,009 and having it go south again. 116 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:21,012 And community with us means a lot of... 117 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,647 A lot of intense things. 118 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:27,452 - We've had community members turn/leave, 119 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,321 because people aren't expecting 120 00:06:29,439 --> 00:06:31,167 teal's persona to be what it is. 121 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,585 Teal: It's never like, "oh, let's chill." 122 00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:33,892 there is no chill. 123 00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:37,963 There is always weird, like, interpersonal shit going on 124 00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:39,398 and intentions. 125 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,077 Do you have any questions for us about anything? 126 00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,035 Juliana: I don't know right now. 127 00:06:49,059 --> 00:06:50,587 Teal: Your head's still spinning. 128 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,043 - No, not really spinning. 129 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,929 It's just, I don't know, 130 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,149 maybe I have more questions later on, I guess. 131 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,586 Mm-hmm. 132 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:07,626 hi. 133 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,227 Juliana: Hi. 134 00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,096 How do you feel? 135 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,030 - G-good. 136 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,633 I mean, that was... 137 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,518 I mean, it's kind of intense. 138 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,502 And how are you? 139 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,403 Juliana: Same. 140 00:07:20,891 --> 00:07:22,018 before I came here, it was like, 141 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,209 okay, this is not a normal thing 142 00:07:24,328 --> 00:07:25,577 where you have a partner. 143 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,490 I was aware that, if that works, 144 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,459 I have a whole family at the same time. 145 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,734 So if I don't get around with one of them, 146 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:33,969 this won't work. 147 00:07:37,274 --> 00:07:38,818 I feel society, in general, 148 00:07:38,842 --> 00:07:41,209 they have, like, a totally different understanding 149 00:07:41,278 --> 00:07:43,228 from what is a family. 150 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,530 People should go more into 151 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,409 with whom do they feel comfortable 152 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:50,068 and where is, like, my heart tribe, my soul tribe. 153 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,270 Where do you really feel at home? 154 00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:53,955 That's usually not the family. 155 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,306 Americans are a little bit crazy. 156 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,664 - Yeah, we're a little bit. 157 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,549 - just a little. 158 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:09,087 - Well, you're a little crazy too for coming out here. 159 00:08:09,206 --> 00:08:10,206 - I am. 160 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:16,528 Blake: This bike path will take us all the way to the walmart. 161 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,799 juliana: Okay. 162 00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:25,677 Teal: Juliana does not understand what we do. 163 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:30,291 She got interested, and then came for a training, 164 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,650 but I don't feel like she's gotten a real taste 165 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,113 of what she's signing up for yet, which is scary. 166 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,232 Shay: All right, ladies and gentlemen. 167 00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:45,624 We have a very special guest: Teal swan. 168 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,353 So for people who don't know you, 169 00:08:47,377 --> 00:08:50,312 how would you boil down your philosophy 170 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,264 and what it is you do exactly? 171 00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,010 - What I essentially define myself as 172 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,245 is an expert in human suffering. 173 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,429 I want to help people get out of suffering. 174 00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,272 Shay: Why do people call you a cult leader, though? 175 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,519 - Because they know it's gonna scare people off me. 176 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:03,703 Shay: That's... that's true. 177 00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:05,255 That is a good... That is a good way to do it. 178 00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:08,224 yeah, I like to think about cults 179 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,116 as... as really having a foundation 180 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,752 and a system of control of people. 181 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,153 Shay: Mm-hmm. 182 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:18,006 Do you think that cult leaders start out with ill intent, 183 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,269 or that a lot of times... - No. 184 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,158 Shay: Yeah. Yeah. - I don't. 185 00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,414 But I think most people 186 00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,062 who evolve into cult leadership 187 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,209 aren't really looking at their own shadows. 188 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,800 - Yeah. Oh, for sure. 189 00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:30,113 And then, what are your thoughts 190 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,604 on everything that the media has been saying 191 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,022 about what you do and... 192 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,618 - so, like, here's the thing: I find... 193 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,842 I have been on the opposite end of the scale, 194 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,271 where people saying whatever they want to say about me 195 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,370 has done so much damage to my career. 196 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,760 I think one of the biggest mistakes I ever made 197 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,133 was to ignore it. 198 00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,585 - Mm. 199 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,988 200 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,168 reporter: Over the last year, I've been trying to figure out 201 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,360 who teal really is and understand her influence. 202 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,980 To her followers, she's a savior, a healer. 203 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,333 To her critics, she's a narcissist, 204 00:10:01,451 --> 00:10:03,001 a dangerous cult leader. 205 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,837 Whatever you feel about her at this point, she is a catalyst. 206 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:11,059 - hey, I'm gonna talk to the cops now, okay? 207 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,824 Police officer: Hello. Is this blake? 208 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:15,925 Blake: Yeah, this is him. 209 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,060 Police officer: What you got going on? 210 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,351 - Well, we have a woman 211 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:24,222 that has sent us about 100 threatening mess 212 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,802 policer officer: - Towards you guys?Man 213 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,677 - yeah, like, "you need to pay me back for my training, 214 00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:29,865 "you narcissist. 215 00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,908 "wait till what's coming your way. 216 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,683 I'll expose the shit you actually are." 217 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,095 police officer: Yeah. Now, you said 218 00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:38,787 there was something recently, like this week. 219 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,740 - This is all this... This is all two days ago. 220 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,419 Police officer: Okay. So all right. 221 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,011 We'll go check on her, and thanks for calling. 222 00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:47,969 - All right. Appreciate you. 223 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:53,852 We get hate messages and threats pretty often. 224 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,531 "no one hates themselves but you, 225 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,595 "and you are a gaslighting narcissist. 226 00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,535 "the fact that you sit around and tell the most beautiful, 227 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,270 "loving souls that they hate themselves 228 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,594 "then they clearly don't, 229 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,649 you need to be executed." 230 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,199 . 231 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,666 Teal: This issue with my haters, 232 00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:16,207 it's just like this festering wound. 233 00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:17,475 It is so overwhelming, 234 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,944 I don't even know where to start, so... 235 00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,791 - I feel like, especially in the spiritual field, 236 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:24,082 people have more expectations around everything. 237 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,828 Teal: Mm-hmm. You do. 238 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,113 Let's say that you're a pop star, 239 00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:29,788 and people are like, "that bitch." 240 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,367 okay, you're just gonna sell a lot more albums, 241 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,669 'cause people don't know about you, 242 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,753 and they don't really care if you're a bitch 243 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,109 if you got good music. 244 00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:36,873 That's not the case for someone in my career. 245 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,057 If somebody says, "this person's dangerous," 246 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,044 and I'm in the business of healing, 247 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,246 that's no different than graffitiing "people die here" 248 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,703 on the outside of a hospital. 249 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,288 It prevents people from coming through the door. 250 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,992 I want the process I take people through around suicide 251 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,271 to be something that's adopted 252 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,956 in the mainstream psychology fields, 253 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,449 but I didn't understand 254 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,312 that people thought it would be possible 255 00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:02,003 that entertaining the concept of suicide 256 00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,923 would cause people to commit suicide. 257 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,307 Juliana: Yes. 258 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,371 Teal: My reputation has been tarnished to such a degree 259 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,661 I can't seem to make money 260 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,907 in the way that I need to make money 261 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,931 in order to fight this stuff. 262 00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:14,427 So I am, like, literally in a place where I'm like, 263 00:12:14,451 --> 00:12:16,162 "is the message that I'm only safe 264 00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:17,485 if I marry a multibillionaire?" 265 00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:19,487 is that my... this is my answer. 266 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,178 267 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,617 I don't know why you guys are, like, so quiet. 268 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:41,159 Do you not feel as powerless as I feel to this? 269 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,995 Blake: Absolutely. That's why I'm so silent. 270 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,296 - There's a powerlessness, 271 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,485 but there's never a point where I give up. 272 00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:49,234 I always look for more options. 273 00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:02,180 We hired a private investigator 274 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,516 to help us to clear up the facts. 275 00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:05,695 I mean, it's very clear. 276 00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,819 You know, um, 277 00:13:07,904 --> 00:13:10,054 people call her "the suicide catalyst," 278 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,157 which is absolutely not true. 279 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,725 There is no ground, 280 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,805 and it's the same with the cult, you know? 281 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:19,164 People are very easily talking about a cult, 282 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,533 and it's super damaging. 283 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,188 Molly: I'm going to record, if you would give me permission. 284 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,255 - Okay. Let me see how to do this. 285 00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,352 Molly: And I'll adjust my camera here. 286 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,177 Matthias: So my main concern, obviously, by hiring you, 287 00:13:32,262 --> 00:13:34,245 is to find out the truth 288 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,614 and to see if there is something I'm missing, 289 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:40,218 or you know, what a third party actually can find out. 290 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,165 - My job is to dig through the mud 291 00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:44,522 and see if I can find any nuggets of truth in there. 292 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,790 When someone would say, 293 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,326 "we heard these horrible things about you," 294 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,562 and then you can say, "well, here. 295 00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:53,164 "read this. This is the truth. 296 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,911 "this is a third-party, independent, 297 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,168 "unedited investigation 298 00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:02,290 that we had no influence over the content of." 299 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,542 that's basically what I do. 300 00:14:04,628 --> 00:14:05,905 Matthias: That would definitely be helpful, 301 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,413 so I know at least where we are, and you know. 302 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,049 - Right. Okay, all righty. Matthias: You know? Yeah. 303 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,945 - I'll go have a... I'll go have a look. 304 00:14:12,969 --> 00:14:14,052 305 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,120 I'm old, okay? 306 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:20,425 So I miss the newscasters from the '50s, you know, 307 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,877 where... where... Where the news organization 308 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,230 was not profit-driven, 309 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,199 where... where you could count on it 310 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:32,720 to have some credibility. 311 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,256 People don't have rolodexes anymore, 312 00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:37,625 and when I forget a password, they're still here. 313 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,613 oh, computers. 314 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,449 315 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:50,955 teal: As living beings, we are hardwired for survival. 316 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,992 But as we all know, sometimes the painful conditions of life 317 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,443 can overrule that hardwiring, 318 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,097 and instead, we become motivated towards death. 319 00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,576 I want you to know that I'm going 320 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,434 to be talking to you today not just from the standpoint 321 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,819 of a spiritual teacher 322 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,455 but also from the standpoint of a survivor. 323 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,940 And here's the thing: 324 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,542 You've been loosely, and mostly subconsciously, 325 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:13,711 toying with the idea of suicide. 326 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,581 This time, what I'm going to encourage you to do 327 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,784 is to consciously imagine committing suicide. 328 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,489 Molly: I'm trying to better understand 329 00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:27,058 why professionals are very concerned 330 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,712 that this video is not appropriate for people at risk. 331 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,592 Jonathan: So as president of the american association 332 00:15:32,616 --> 00:15:33,848 of suicidology, 333 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,118 I get a lot of the complaints... 334 00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:38,614 - Mm-hmm. Jonathan: Saying, 335 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,439 "visualize your suicide," to a video, 336 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,792 not knowing what the emotional state is 337 00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,545 of the person on the other side who's watching it. 338 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:50,381 That is problematic, because there's no way of knowing 339 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,583 if that's actually gonna work out. 340 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,263 There's no quality control there, 341 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,689 and I don't think that it's defensible in a public forum. 342 00:15:57,807 --> 00:15:59,669 - Was there anything about doing that video 343 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:02,193 that was scary or risky-feeling to you? 344 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,496 Did you feel that that could have actually encouraged you 345 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,609 to take your own life? 346 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,982 Follower: No. 347 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,735 She's just like, "imagine that, and really feel into that," 348 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,548 so that... Why would that be scary? 349 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:16,874 I really find it important to keep videos like that up. 350 00:16:16,993 --> 00:16:19,233 Follower: You know, I had psychiatrists tell me 351 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,445 that I was a doormat. 352 00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:23,181 I wasn't getting any kind of compassion... 353 00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:24,794 - Whoa. Follower: Or help. 354 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,019 At the time, financially and with insurance, 355 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:31,022 I couldn't always stick with the same one, you know, 356 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,875 so the healthcare thing was kind of hit-and-miss. 357 00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:37,779 - They're claiming that teal was responsible 358 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:40,064 for leslie's demise, and... Follower: I know. 359 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,078 just complete nonsense. 360 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,212 There's nothing I wouldn't do 361 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,081 to help teal and to defend her... 362 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:48,172 How adamant I am about her, you know, sincere. 363 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,919 Jonathan: If you're saying that three people 364 00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,510 out of millions of people that have interacted with teal... 365 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,607 - that we know of. Jonathan: Yeah, that know of. 366 00:16:54,631 --> 00:16:56,864 You would be really hard-pressed to say, 367 00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:59,095 "these people killed themselves because of teal." 368 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,185 - are you aware of some of the attacks 369 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:03,254 that have been made against her? 370 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,773 Follower: I try not to go down that rabbit hole, 371 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:09,927 because I believe she is legitimately doing a good thing 372 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:12,363 and trying to help people. 373 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:16,200 Molly: I have little patience for pejorative slingers, 374 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:20,772 but it just seems that, if you are attractive, period, 375 00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:23,658 it's one of the criterias for being a target. 376 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,137 Do you feel that, if you left, 377 00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:27,945 that someone would publicly shame you for leaving, 378 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,414 for any reason? 379 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,133 Follower: Are you asking if we're a cult? 380 00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:34,652 Molly: It's pretty hard to see, 381 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,320 in many of these accusations, 382 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,006 being able to stick when you start talking to these folks. 383 00:17:41,344 --> 00:17:45,730 when you have somebody who has a lot of followers 384 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,399 and somebody wants to pick a bone with them, 385 00:17:48,518 --> 00:17:50,146 you just throw the word "cult" at them, 386 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,936 and suddenly, 387 00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:55,673 unfortunately, in many circles, it sticks. 388 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,127 But I'm going to find the truth. 389 00:17:59,195 --> 00:18:00,611 As I see it. 390 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:11,022 blake: I was doing this workshop. 391 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:19,297 One of my cp participants came up to me. 392 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,434 She was beautiful. 393 00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:31,592 We hung out at the hot springs, and.. 394 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,848 I floated you around in the water. 395 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:42,220 we were in the office, and I gave you a massage, 396 00:18:42,305 --> 00:18:46,791 maybe crossing the boundaries of the practitioner/client. 397 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,266 and eight months later, she moved to utah. 398 00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,420 How lucky am I? 399 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,808 Whoo-hoo! 400 00:19:06,796 --> 00:19:08,876 follower: Aah! Follower: Let go. Let go. 401 00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,883 Wow. 402 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,112 Blake: Juliana's the first person 403 00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:14,702 I've ever been committed to. 404 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:20,291 we're compatible in tons of ways, 405 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:24,145 and I hope that she fits in with everyone. 406 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,981 407 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,622 wow. 408 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,708 That's fun. 409 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:43,681 Teal: Juliana is like this raw stone, 410 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,816 and so, there are all these edges. 411 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,732 And now, it's blake's aura color. 412 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,150 Follower: Is it? - Mm-hmm. 413 00:19:51,174 --> 00:19:53,054 Follower: This is really good. 414 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,637 Teal: And based off of what happens, 415 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,071 that person either smooths out, 416 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,840 and so, it becomes this frictionless relationship... 417 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,698 Blake: Oh, my god. That's so refreshing. 418 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,038 Teal: Or it becomes a problem. 419 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:11,175 We haven't had time to do enough with her 420 00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:15,046 so that we're polished stones up against each other. 421 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,055 I want you to sense or feel this bubble, 422 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,277 separating you from the rest of the world. 423 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:52,550 Now imagine, sense, or feel the prison of this bubble, 424 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,553 the way it keeps you isolated and lonely. 425 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,423 And with this bubble burst, 426 00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,409 I want you to sense or feel 427 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:05,396 what this loneliness that lives inside you may need. 428 00:21:07,049 --> 00:21:09,800 Feel it filling that space up from the inside. 429 00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:26,884 I want you to build that sensation of companionship 430 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,788 wider and wider 431 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,158 until it fills up your entire being. 432 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:43,946 Amir: I like checking things out, 433 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,781 so I go to a lot of different spiritual stuff. 434 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,055 And I got here, and my mind was blown. 435 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:52,209 This is so over my head, 436 00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:56,497 but I guess I want to be a part of something. 437 00:21:56,599 --> 00:21:57,760 I want to be a part of something, 438 00:21:57,784 --> 00:22:00,985 and I haven't found that, so I'll keep looking. 439 00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:03,671 The level of struggle and... 440 00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,990 Is... is, uh... 441 00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:07,870 I need... I need... I need help. 442 00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,054 I need help. 443 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,238 - We all need help. Amir: I need help, yeah. 444 00:22:14,183 --> 00:22:15,183 - What's that? 445 00:22:17,286 --> 00:22:18,664 - Wow, because when I came last year, 446 00:22:18,688 --> 00:22:20,838 I thought it was a cult, you know? 447 00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:22,234 Really. Full-blown. 448 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,074 I said that to you before, right? 449 00:22:23,192 --> 00:22:24,720 - Yeah. Amir: Yeah. 450 00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:25,754 I need more love in my life, 451 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:26,838 and I don't know how it's gonna look, 452 00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:28,324 but I need help, so I'm just run... 453 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,848 I'm just looking for someone to help me. 454 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,461 - What do you need from me in order to feel resolve? 455 00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:47,598 Amir: I haven't had closeness in a long time. 456 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,078 I'm wired to have a lot of affection, 457 00:22:49,102 --> 00:22:53,204 and so, I'm looking for more closeness. 458 00:22:53,355 --> 00:22:55,667 - You've got aspects of your life that aren't going well, 459 00:22:55,691 --> 00:22:58,976 especially relative to people, right? 460 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,089 And... - I don't know. 461 00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:01,790 I don't know! For real. 462 00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,592 In a way, it's going great. 463 00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:04,776 I don't know what this is. 464 00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:09,153 I do think god is, and... and I'm glad. 465 00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,571 I was suicidal for a long time, 466 00:23:10,706 --> 00:23:13,758 so I'm glad I... I'm glad it's there. 467 00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:16,043 - Do you know what it's like talking to you? 468 00:23:16,129 --> 00:23:18,863 There's no cohesive thought. 469 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:22,166 - No cohesive thought? - No cohesive thought. 470 00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:23,901 - That's so interesting. 471 00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:26,487 I think I'm doing... I think... I think everything's great, 472 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:27,938 and I'm doing a good job, and... 473 00:23:28,057 --> 00:23:29,618 - why the do you think the universe would put you 474 00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:32,092 in front of me if everything's fine? 475 00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:33,455 Amir: I mean, I don't know, teal. 476 00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:35,023 - No, I mean, really. Answer the question. 477 00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:36,892 - No, I don't... I don't... I don't know. 478 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,549 I... I don't know. 479 00:23:38,651 --> 00:23:40,751 I could just have a crush on you. 480 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:44,255 It... it could just... it really just could be a sexual thing 481 00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:45,534 that I've just taken too far, 482 00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:48,559 and it's okay, and that's why I'm here. 483 00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:51,173 - If the only reason you're here 484 00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:52,875 is because of a sexual, like, thing, 485 00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:53,781 that's a problem for me. 486 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,527 - Right. Right, right, right. 487 00:23:55,551 --> 00:23:57,952 Right, right, right, right. 488 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:01,238 Teal: I hate this field, I swear to god. 489 00:24:01,374 --> 00:24:03,334 I hate the spiritual field. 490 00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,794 I'm super angry. 491 00:24:06,929 --> 00:24:08,095 Hi, blake. 492 00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:10,259 I'm sitting here in process with amir. 493 00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:12,494 It was real fun when, in the middle of our session, 494 00:24:12,518 --> 00:24:14,213 he looks at me and says, "I'm afraid if you see 495 00:24:14,237 --> 00:24:16,904 all these parts of myself, you won't want to me," 496 00:24:16,972 --> 00:24:17,972 so yeah. 497 00:24:18,107 --> 00:24:19,585 That was fun. Blake: Wow. 498 00:24:19,609 --> 00:24:20,969 - You know, "the only reason I'm here is because 499 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:22,671 of, you know, being sexually attracted to you," 500 00:24:22,695 --> 00:24:24,506 and it's the same bullshit. 501 00:24:24,530 --> 00:24:26,263 It's like I use my sexuality 502 00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:29,400 kind of like in this demonic way to attract people. 503 00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:32,603 I would love it if you would talk to him, 504 00:24:32,705 --> 00:24:33,749 'cause this is . 505 00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:40,978 that was not fun. 506 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,591 It's the kind of thing where you've got somebody 507 00:24:42,615 --> 00:24:46,167 who's, like, really not got anything going in their life, 508 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,168 you know? 509 00:24:48,271 --> 00:24:50,804 - Is there any chance to help him in any way? 510 00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:51,755 - It's just like, you gotta know. 511 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:54,141 It's like a red zone case. 512 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:56,093 He needs so much, 513 00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:59,330 and he will rip the shit out of any member of our team 514 00:24:59,448 --> 00:25:00,488 who works with him. 515 00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:07,266 Teal: So have you come more clear 516 00:25:07,290 --> 00:25:09,306 on something you want to see? 517 00:25:09,442 --> 00:25:12,276 Amir: Um... 518 00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:15,312 I think a lot about my mom. 519 00:25:15,448 --> 00:25:18,949 She's been coming in my dreams recently. 520 00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:20,829 She... she... Before she took her life, 521 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:24,655 she attempted five times over the prior seven years. 522 00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:27,119 My dad couldn't understand that it was a suicide attempt. 523 00:25:27,143 --> 00:25:28,659 He was in that much denial. 524 00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,405 I went to an aa meeting. It was 4:00 p.M. 525 00:25:30,429 --> 00:25:32,274 I left queens, went to new york city, 526 00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:34,999 and my dad called and was like, "she's gone." 527 00:25:35,151 --> 00:25:38,736 and I went up to see her body. 528 00:25:38,854 --> 00:25:40,004 She was split. 529 00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:43,641 Her leg was perpendicular, um, 530 00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:45,142 and she looked so peaceful. 531 00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:54,001 that seems unfair. Um... 532 00:25:57,523 --> 00:25:58,634 - Yeah, yeah. I would love to. 533 00:25:58,658 --> 00:26:00,024 I'd love to see her. 534 00:26:06,933 --> 00:26:07,998 - okay. 535 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,734 536 00:26:18,761 --> 00:26:22,863 what we're going to be doing is what I call channeling. 537 00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:27,017 You're using your body as a vessel for a specific energy. 538 00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:29,881 You can do it with people that are living. 539 00:26:29,905 --> 00:26:31,316 You can do it with people that are dead. 540 00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:33,457 You can do it with anything. 541 00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:35,170 So if I bring in your dead mother, 542 00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:36,471 that's actually your dead mother, you guys. 543 00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:39,063 I'm working literally with her thought form. 544 00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:41,298 It's an incredibly dangerous process. 545 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,500 It's also one of the most powerful tools 546 00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:45,185 that has ever existed. 547 00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:50,007 Juliana, I deliberately want to stretch you in with this. 548 00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:53,026 I think it's a good idea. 549 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,613 Juliana: I kind of, like, knew that when I come here, 550 00:26:55,731 --> 00:26:58,148 that it's not just about establishing a relationship 551 00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,350 with blake. 552 00:27:02,338 --> 00:27:05,589 I also need to have a good relationship with teal, 553 00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:09,526 so coming here was also committing to her. 554 00:27:09,645 --> 00:27:11,929 I want to make it work. 555 00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:16,567 Teal: Come here. 556 00:27:16,685 --> 00:27:18,002 So ask her to... 557 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:20,604 Ask her if she will choose with her free will to guide you, 558 00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:22,317 and then you have to say your mother's full name. 559 00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:23,435 Amir: Do you, with your free will, 560 00:27:23,459 --> 00:27:26,810 choose the consciousness of talit bajua? 561 00:27:33,619 --> 00:27:35,900 Amir: I just want to spend some time with you, mom. 562 00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:48,065 - you are, mom. 563 00:27:57,493 --> 00:27:58,804 - Do you feel like you're stuck anywhere, 564 00:27:58,828 --> 00:27:59,710 or do you... 565 00:27:59,812 --> 00:28:01,145 - where are you stuck? 566 00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:14,558 Teal: She hasn't completely crossed. 567 00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:19,873 teal: Yeah. Amir: Yeah? 568 00:28:19,965 --> 00:28:22,327 Teal: Yeah. The thing is, you're not responsible anymore. 569 00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:26,381 teal: You can let go. 570 00:28:26,405 --> 00:28:29,306 Juliana: No, I can't do that. 571 00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:30,607 - Do you see this? 572 00:28:30,693 --> 00:28:32,721 From where you are, you can't do anything anymore 573 00:28:32,745 --> 00:28:33,865 to help either of them. 574 00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:38,182 Amir: No. It's okay, mom. I love you so much. 575 00:28:38,284 --> 00:28:40,834 - Amir, just think about whether there's anything 576 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,938 you feel like you need to say that will release her. 577 00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:56,950 - I forgive you, mom. I forgive you. 578 00:28:57,036 --> 00:28:58,635 Juliana: I cannot do it. 579 00:28:58,704 --> 00:28:59,815 Amir: I want you to let go 580 00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:02,005 of the responsibility you feel, mom. 581 00:29:02,141 --> 00:29:05,159 You've helped me so much since you passed away. 582 00:29:06,679 --> 00:29:10,047 I accept... I accept my life. 583 00:29:10,149 --> 00:29:12,616 I want you to know I like my life. 584 00:29:12,685 --> 00:29:16,353 I struggle a lot, but I like my life. 585 00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:22,910 teal: Now, you can tell her. 586 00:29:24,463 --> 00:29:27,564 - Mom, you can go. 587 00:29:27,716 --> 00:29:28,716 You can go. 588 00:29:44,984 --> 00:29:45,984 - Okay. 589 00:30:12,127 --> 00:30:16,013 Juliana: That was so intense. 590 00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:20,100 It was also surprising to me that I was that energized. 591 00:30:20,186 --> 00:30:24,221 And I wasn't aware that I'm that good in doing that. 592 00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:25,433 Teal: You were really good. 593 00:30:25,457 --> 00:30:26,568 Juliana: I wasn't aware of that, 594 00:30:26,592 --> 00:30:28,892 so I was surprised. 595 00:30:28,978 --> 00:30:31,428 Really surprised. 596 00:30:31,564 --> 00:30:33,591 Teal: Like, I feel like you're better at this with me 597 00:30:33,615 --> 00:30:36,600 than people who have been on my team for years. 598 00:30:39,321 --> 00:30:40,437 Juliana: Wow. 599 00:30:40,556 --> 00:30:42,739 600 00:30:42,825 --> 00:30:45,792 601 00:30:52,501 --> 00:30:54,034 I feel at home. 602 00:30:55,804 --> 00:30:58,505 It's a totally different home, but I feel at home. 603 00:31:04,146 --> 00:31:06,346 Teal is like a big sister to me. 604 00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:10,100 She's changed my mind completely 605 00:31:10,185 --> 00:31:12,002 how you can approach healing. 606 00:31:14,573 --> 00:31:17,093 Teal: I like to think of those of you who are standing here 607 00:31:17,159 --> 00:31:19,059 as my little army. 608 00:31:19,144 --> 00:31:20,322 I see you all as the people 609 00:31:20,346 --> 00:31:22,946 who are going to be the change in this world 610 00:31:23,032 --> 00:31:25,415 instead of the people who simply look at this world 611 00:31:25,517 --> 00:31:28,185 as if it has to change. 612 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,653 I want to personally thank you 613 00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:32,022 for the level of bravery it took to come here 614 00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:33,435 and especially for your bravery 615 00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:35,819 to be connected when the whole world is disconnecting. 616 00:31:37,463 --> 00:31:42,065 Freedom is in the reclaiming of self 617 00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:45,335 and the turning of life's cyanide into honey. 618 00:31:56,949 --> 00:31:59,733 619 00:32:16,218 --> 00:32:17,412 blake: It has, like, nothing to do with... 620 00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:19,469 Follower: Yeah, that's so random. 621 00:32:19,555 --> 00:32:20,470 It would be these two. 622 00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:21,655 Juliana: Okay. 623 00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:23,285 Follower: You guys. You guys. 624 00:32:23,309 --> 00:32:24,786 Blake: They don't know how to play this game. 625 00:32:24,810 --> 00:32:26,588 We're just gonna have to roll with it. 626 00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:27,477 All right. Do I read it? 627 00:32:27,596 --> 00:32:28,996 Juliana: Mm-hmm. 628 00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:32,215 - And you're putting the one that you think I would choose? 629 00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:33,417 - Mm-hmm. 630 00:32:36,305 --> 00:32:38,216 Blake: I didn't know if juliana 631 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:39,751 would fit well into the community. 632 00:32:39,775 --> 00:32:41,219 Follower: You win the card. Follower: You win. Yeah. 633 00:32:41,243 --> 00:32:44,494 - "alternative medicine is now embracing 634 00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:46,663 the curative powers of..." 635 00:32:46,732 --> 00:32:49,766 "my balls on your face." 636 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:54,204 "of looking in the mirror, applying lipstick, 637 00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:57,223 and whispering, "tonight, you will have sex with tom cruise." 638 00:32:57,343 --> 00:32:59,476 that could be very healing. 639 00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:03,513 to make this work, 640 00:33:03,582 --> 00:33:07,401 you have to choose teal's mission to be your mission. 641 00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:11,171 - Oh, probably this one. That was pretty funny. 642 00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:15,993 blake: She fits in with everyone. 643 00:33:16,078 --> 00:33:19,579 I never could have imagined what my life has become. 644 00:33:22,284 --> 00:33:25,268 I just feel good about everything in a way. 645 00:33:36,031 --> 00:33:41,385 Molly: At what point in teal's career 646 00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:44,121 did you enter the picture? 647 00:33:44,223 --> 00:33:47,541 Jared: I first met teal in 2012. 648 00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:49,120 I was already having a hard time in life. 649 00:33:49,144 --> 00:33:50,304 I had just gotten divorced 650 00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:52,896 and went on this, like, spiritual journey, 651 00:33:52,981 --> 00:33:53,914 trying to find myself. 652 00:33:53,982 --> 00:33:54,865 Molly: Uh-huh. 653 00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:56,566 - She always came off as, like, 654 00:33:56,652 --> 00:33:58,780 "there's so much that you are going to learn. 655 00:33:58,804 --> 00:34:00,598 "there's so much that I have to teach you. 656 00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:02,923 "like, don't throw spirituality away 657 00:34:02,975 --> 00:34:04,469 "just because you're leaving mormonism. 658 00:34:04,493 --> 00:34:05,792 There's so much more." 659 00:34:05,928 --> 00:34:08,378 she's trying to help make a better world. 660 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,125 I want to make the better world, 661 00:34:10,149 --> 00:34:12,582 and so, I told her, "hey, I want to do this. 662 00:34:12,668 --> 00:34:15,185 Hell or high water, I'm gonna make your vision a reality." 663 00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:17,203 I helped her with the website, 664 00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:18,772 I moved in with her. 665 00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:20,819 Molly: Right. Okay, so then you get involved. 666 00:34:20,843 --> 00:34:23,693 What was she actually selling at that point? 667 00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:27,397 - Frequency paintings that had the power to heal people. 668 00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:28,298 Molly: Okay. 669 00:34:28,434 --> 00:34:30,117 Did they? 670 00:34:30,185 --> 00:34:31,468 - Well, I was staring 671 00:34:31,620 --> 00:34:34,755 at several that I bought in my room for several years, 672 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,772 and they did not work. 673 00:34:35,841 --> 00:34:36,940 Molly: Okay. 674 00:34:37,058 --> 00:34:40,460 Were you paid anything for your services? 675 00:34:40,529 --> 00:34:41,529 Were you... 676 00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:42,957 - Um... Molly: Salaried, or... 677 00:34:42,981 --> 00:34:45,849 - I mean, I was given room and board. 678 00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:48,135 Molly: All right. - Yeah. 679 00:34:48,203 --> 00:34:50,203 Molly: Interesting. 680 00:34:50,289 --> 00:34:52,973 Have you ever heard of anybody 681 00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:55,008 choosing to no longer participate 682 00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:57,143 being ostracized in any way? 683 00:34:57,246 --> 00:35:00,831 - I mean, like, my exit wasn't very nice. 684 00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:05,285 The moment the tv camera would go off, 685 00:35:05,387 --> 00:35:08,655 the moment she would go behind closed door at a conference, 686 00:35:08,757 --> 00:35:11,858 any of that, it just unleashed. 687 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,205 The last thing... I think the last thing she told me 688 00:35:14,229 --> 00:35:15,309 as I'm, like, leaving, 689 00:35:15,397 --> 00:35:17,025 and everyone's, like, ganged up on me, 690 00:35:17,049 --> 00:35:21,985 she said, "if I were you, I would just go kill myself, 691 00:35:22,104 --> 00:35:24,721 'cause there's no hope for you." 692 00:35:25,858 --> 00:35:27,908 - well... 693 00:35:27,993 --> 00:35:31,044 Whoo, that's a lot. 694 00:35:31,163 --> 00:35:34,014 - Oh, it gets a lot more interesting, molly. 695 00:35:40,255 --> 00:35:41,950 jared: I wanted this so badly. 696 00:35:41,974 --> 00:35:44,207 I was so washed. 697 00:35:44,326 --> 00:35:45,225 And, like, when I say I was washed, 698 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:46,971 she, like, would constantly ask us, 699 00:35:46,995 --> 00:35:50,046 like, "you're gonna leave me. You're gonna leave me, jared. 700 00:35:50,149 --> 00:35:51,593 You're gonna give up on all this." 701 00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:53,328 and I'm like, "no, I'm not. No, I won't. I'll do anything." 702 00:35:53,352 --> 00:35:55,752 she's like, "what are you willing to do for this cause?" 703 00:35:55,871 --> 00:35:59,489 and I told her I'd be willing to kill someone 704 00:35:59,558 --> 00:36:01,775 and bury them in the backyard. 705 00:36:11,453 --> 00:36:13,114 molly: It feels like a burden, 706 00:36:13,138 --> 00:36:16,006 that I've found some of this stuff out, 707 00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:20,227 because now, I'm responsible for including it 708 00:36:20,312 --> 00:36:23,413 and being honest about what I found. 709 00:36:23,531 --> 00:36:28,084 It's the pandora's box you wish you'd left closed, you know, 710 00:36:28,187 --> 00:36:34,558 but now that it's here, it's here. 711 00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:35,803 Teal: Blake, I need to know 712 00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:37,222 where you guys are on everything. 713 00:36:37,246 --> 00:36:38,406 I need to know what you're thinking. 714 00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:39,741 I don't feel like we're on the same page. 715 00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:41,593 Obviously, we haven't spent enough time together. 716 00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:43,583 - I know. It's been weeks, 717 00:36:43,685 --> 00:36:45,430 and she's only been here for weeks. 718 00:36:45,454 --> 00:36:49,072 it's one month yesterday. 719 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,262 I'm thinking of asking 720 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:59,716 for her to marry me in two weeks. 721 00:36:59,818 --> 00:37:03,236 - Okay. Well, thank you for telling me. 722 00:37:03,288 --> 00:37:04,837 What are you thinking? 723 00:37:04,940 --> 00:37:07,657 - Well, I don't know. I mean, just... 724 00:37:07,776 --> 00:37:09,003 Teal: Well, do you think she's on the same page? 725 00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:10,205 Have you guys talked about this? 726 00:37:10,229 --> 00:37:11,606 - A little bit. Yeah. Teal: Well, come on. 727 00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:12,941 What have you guys said? Like... 728 00:37:12,965 --> 00:37:16,766 Blake: We've just been, like, just planning stuff. 729 00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:18,134 Yeah. 730 00:37:18,286 --> 00:37:21,204 - Two-week proposal leaves you zero room for rings, blake. 731 00:37:21,290 --> 00:37:22,872 What are you doing? 732 00:37:22,958 --> 00:37:25,124 - Well, that's... I'll get a wedding ring. 733 00:37:25,260 --> 00:37:26,109 Teal: Do you want help with that? 734 00:37:26,211 --> 00:37:27,805 Blake: Yeah. - Okay. 735 00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:34,784 how do you feel about the ending of the saga 736 00:37:34,903 --> 00:37:38,138 of the romantic feelings towards me? 737 00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:40,790 Blake: Ending of that saga? Teal: Mm-hmm. 738 00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:43,593 - I mean, I still think you're sexy as hell. 739 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,781 blake: You know. - Thank you. 740 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:52,151 She doesn't react when you touch me, so... 741 00:37:52,254 --> 00:37:55,005 - Well, she doesn't. Teal: I've been watching her. 742 00:37:55,156 --> 00:37:56,122 Has she said anything? 743 00:37:56,174 --> 00:37:57,986 - Well, there has been no conversation 744 00:37:58,010 --> 00:38:00,343 about my romantic feelings towards you. 745 00:38:00,495 --> 00:38:02,106 - Good. There shouldn't be. 746 00:38:02,130 --> 00:38:04,108 She doesn't react. I've been watching her. 747 00:38:04,132 --> 00:38:05,977 Blake: Mm-hmm. - It's a good thing. 748 00:38:06,001 --> 00:38:08,852 - Yeah. You know. 749 00:38:09,004 --> 00:38:11,187 - I love this. Blake: I know. Me too. 750 00:38:11,306 --> 00:38:13,251 - She sounds super compatible, blake. 751 00:38:13,275 --> 00:38:15,642 - Yeah. 752 00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:17,310 Wow. 753 00:38:23,452 --> 00:38:25,068 Teal: Good, blake. 754 00:38:28,156 --> 00:38:31,041 755 00:39:30,218 --> 00:39:33,603 teal: It's like an offering. 756 00:39:33,755 --> 00:39:36,389 These amplify and magnify everything. 757 00:39:44,099 --> 00:39:46,933 officiant: Marriage requires a lot of forgiveness. 758 00:39:47,035 --> 00:39:49,080 It requires respecting the other person, 759 00:39:49,104 --> 00:39:50,932 even when you disagree with them. 760 00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:52,796 And it requires the maturity 761 00:39:52,941 --> 00:39:54,435 to put someone else before yourself 762 00:39:54,459 --> 00:39:57,744 but not so much that you forget who you are as an individual. 763 00:39:57,796 --> 00:39:59,524 From this moment on, nothing in your life 764 00:39:59,548 --> 00:40:01,726 is to take priority over the comfort and well-being 765 00:40:01,750 --> 00:40:04,150 of the person that you're holding hands with right now. 766 00:40:52,968 --> 00:40:55,334 - I was given a list of the things 767 00:40:55,437 --> 00:40:59,556 that people had to agree to to be part of this inner circle. 768 00:41:01,843 --> 00:41:04,227 - That most of it is illegal. 769 00:41:04,345 --> 00:41:06,679 Teal: A normal life is not compatible 770 00:41:06,781 --> 00:41:08,159 with the life that we are leading. 771 00:41:08,183 --> 00:41:09,660 Follower: I didn't come here to keep learning, 772 00:41:09,684 --> 00:41:11,012 and learning, and learning, and... 773 00:41:11,036 --> 00:41:12,346 Teal: You want to know the reality? 774 00:41:12,370 --> 00:41:14,015 If people don't start doing this kind of work 775 00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:15,850 on themselves... Headed off a cliff. 776 00:41:15,874 --> 00:41:18,992 - I don't feel like we can force them. 777 00:41:19,044 --> 00:41:21,461 - You literally just crossed the line. 778 00:41:21,546 --> 00:41:22,626 Now, we have problems.