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Viv, I know there are only three shopping days left, but they called,

And they want to see your house in an hour.

(rock music playing) Uh-huh.

Mom! Make Buzz turn off the music. (pop music playing)

No problem. Mom!

- "Mom." - Hang on, Viv.

Let your sister rehearse. Like that'll help.

And clean up the kitchen. But--

Now. Okay, Viv. I'll see you in a bit.

I thought I told you to clean up the kitchen.

I did. Can I go to the movies tonight with some friends? No.

No-- No, no. I'm showing a house and I need you to baby-sit Kevin.

Well, why can't Megan do it?

Because she has to go to rehearsal at the teen center.

And you don't have to go to the movies. I do if I want a life.

You're baby-sitting Kevin. Hey, where is he, anyway? Kevin.

What is it? What is it? BOY: A car!

Whoa! MAN: Wait a second. That was--

Honey, that was mine.

BUZZ (on tv): Awesome. It's got an antenna and everything.

DAD: Merry Christmas, Mommy. BOY: Merry Christmas.

MOM (on tv): Merry Christmas.

DAD: What did I get? BUZZ: What is this?

Megan: Thank you. MOM: Everybody get in the shot.

Everybody get together. BUZZ: Okay.

MOM (on tv): All right. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Very funny, Buzz.

(Mom laughing on TV)

- Last Christmas, huh? - Yeah.

This Christmas isn't gonna be any fun.

Of course it will.

Honey, we're gonna do all the same things we've always done.

Sing Christmas carols, be with family and friends,

Put cookies and milk out for Santa.

- It's gonna be just the same. - Except this year,

no Dad.

Right. That's the one thing that's different.

Why can't you just get back together?

(sighs) Honey, we're just gonna have to let that go.

(chattering on TV) That's a no, right?

It means some things are just out of our control.

I know you miss your dad.

And he loves me very much.

You both do, and it has nothing to do with me.

- Did he tell you that? - I'm nine years old. I watch a lot of tv.

Did he leave because of me?

No. Of course not.

I knew it. It was Buzz and Megan. (chuckles)

Oh, it wasn't anyone... Or any one thing.

Then what was it?

That's not easy to explain.

But, uh, sometimes when...

people are married for a long time, they get into kind of a rut.

You know what a rut is? Yeah. Like, when people aren't having any fun,

and they're really bored.

Kind of like that.

Now, will you come downstairs?

When you're ready.

(chattering on TV)

Hey! (clapping)

Wait a second.

Megan: Kevin, come in here. BUZZ: Yeah, hurry, you've gotta see this!

(groans) Ow! Hey! Hey!

- You always fall for that. - Let me up, zit-face!

- Lamebrain. When are you gonna learn? - Get off your brother.

- And shouldn't you be rehearsing? -(Kevin grunting)

- How are you getting to the teen center? - Ashley's mom's picking me up in a half hour.

(grunting continues) Can I please go to the movies?

No. I told you. You're watching Kevin.

- Please let him go. I'll stay home alone. - No.

- (scoffs) I've done it before. - Don't remind me.

You loused up my whole night.

If I'm gonna be miserable, you're gonna be miserable.

Mom! (door opens)

MAN: Hello. It's me. Dad!

Dad! Hey, big guy.

(growls playfully) I didn't know you were coming tonight.

Oh, I thought I'd surprise you. Hey, Dad.

Hey, Buzz.

Oh, Kate. Gosh, the place looks great.

Really nice decorations.

- Same as every year. - KEVIN: So, um,

Dad, why'd you come tonight?

Actually, I want to talk to your mom about something.

Privately.

Do you think he wants to come home? Aw, Kev.

(huffs)

What? No "Hello, how are ya?"

I'm sorry. I have a business appointment, Peter. What do you want?

Okay, gosh. I wasn't gonna jump right into it, but--

Well, you know Natalie and I are living together, and, uh,

well, when our divorce is final, I'm gonna marry her.

Really?

You're getting married again.

Wow. That's, uh-- that--

(exhales) Wow. We've only been separated eight months.

Yeah, I-- it just happened real quickly, and-- listen, Kate,

I really want the kids to spend a little time with me over the holidays.

You want the kids for Christmas?

Just a couple of days. I want them to get to know Natalie better.

Oh, because she's gonna be their, uh, stepmother.

Yeah.

Well, you're gonna have to ask them.

I know.

- How am I supposed to see my friends? - It's only for a few days.

Well, duh, but that's just long enough for me to fall out of the loop.

- Yeah, you can't expect us to give up our vacation. - Well, Kevin?

There's a royal family coming to visit.

They have a son around your age. You might have a chance to play with a crown prince.

A crown prince? Wouldn't that be cool?

- Yeah, way cool. - And you guys wouldn't believe the room

that Natalie has set up for you.

What do you say?

- I think I'm gonna pass. - (exhales)

It just wouldn't be right leaving the family at Christmas.

I'm sure you understand. Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Well, it's-- it's an open invitation, hmm?

And I won't be back too late.

And since you're staying home, it wouldn't hurt to do some of your chores.

Yes, ma'am. I'll make sure they get done.

Clean it, cheese-face.

Ow!

Oops.

My fault.

Hello, I'm home.

Hey.

How'd it go? Awful.

I hate Buzz and I never want to be stuck home alone with him as long as I live.

Oh, honey. I know he picks on you.

Picks on me? Humiliates me, tortures me.

I'm sick of being everyone's favorite joke around here.

Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to be the youngest.

Well, I hate Buzz. I wish I didn't have a brother or a sister.

- You don't mean that. - Yes, I do!

I wish I was an only child!

Well, I'm sorry that you're so unhappy.

Maybe you should go to your room and think about what you have, rather than what you don't have.

(scoffs)

(sighs)

Only children don't know how good they have it.

Life would be perfect if Buzz and Megan weren't around.

I mean, is it too much to ask for a family who actually likes me?

(sighs) I'd run away.

If I knew where to run to.

Hey, I do!

I have an open invitation.

(coins jingling)

PETER: Can't get my seat belt unfastened.

(woman laughs)

PETER: Thanks, Alan.

Thanks.

Oh, what an incredible evening.

And not a bad night's work.

We raised over two million for those children's charities.

Door, open.

And I am on the verge of signing two of the biggest clients in Chicago.

That's because you're the best publicist in the world.

- Doors, close. - Have I remembered to thank you for telling everyone that?

Fire, light. Not tonight you haven't.

Perhaps I ought to show my appreciation.

Music, on. (classical music starts)

Curtains, close. (chuckles)

Aw, nuts. Just when things were getting good.

Nice house, huh, pumpkin?

Sure is, Marv. You sure you don't wanna rob it?

No. No, I don't wanna rob it.

My robbery days are over. Darling, we're moving up to the big money. All right?

The easy money. No middleman.

Pure profit. Strictly a class operation, huh?

Three words, Vera. Kid-- na-- pping.

I think that's only one word.

We're gonna wait for the royals to arrive--

Hup, dup, dodey-do-- and then we're gonna kidnap the prince.

(high-pitched voice) "Oh, don't kidnap me. I'm fancy."

You sure we can pull it off?

I mean, without Harry making the plans?

Look where Harry's plans kept landing me, huh? In jail.

Well, not this time. Because this time...

I'm the boss.

- (scoffs) - Who's the boss?

- You're the boss. - I love being married. Eh?

- That's my girl. - Hey!

Oh! Looks like they got a visitor.

This where you want to go?

Yeah, this is the place. Thank you very much. (coins jingling)

Keep the change.

It's allchange.

(snoring)

(beep)

(sighs)

Who are you?

(gulps)

MAN (on speaker): Beg your pardon, ma'am.

Yes, Prescott?

Mr. McCallister has a visitor. The young man claims to be his son.

Well, send him in.

- Kevin! - Dad!

Hey! Oh! I thought you said weren't coming.

Well, I started thinking, hey, it's not fair if Mom gets all the kids for Christmas.

(chuckling) What's Christmas without kids, right?

Right. Hello, Kevin.

Hi, Natalie. I hope you don't mind me just dropping in like this,

But my dad did invite me.

- Yes, I know. - So is the invitation still open?

Of course it is. Molly, would you come here, please?

I've been looking forward to spending time with you.

Your dad talks about you kids a lot.

Buzz is the troublemaker. I'm the adorable one.

Oh. Ah, Molly.

This is Kevin McCallister, and he's going to be staying with us for a few days.

Would you make up the special guest room?

Ah, the special guest room.

Right away, ma'am.

- Oh, and Prescott, give Kevin a house key. - If you say so, ma' am.

What kind of key is this?

It's a key to the whole house.

This is a smart house, Kevin. It does whatever you tell it to.

Fire, out.

Curtains, open.

Wow! I think I'm gonna like it here.

Go ahead. You try.

Door, open.

Wow! This stuff is so cool.

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

This is such cool stuff! Ah!

Oh! Look at this game!

This chair's a remote control chair! Oh!

Oh, yeah!

This is so cool! Oh!

- Think you'll be comfortable here? - I'll say!

Thanks, Natalie. This is gonna be the best Christmas ever!

Lights out, Kev.

Hey, Kevin?

Kevin.

How many times can I lose this child?

Kevin. (cell phone rings)

Hello. PETER: Kate, I...

wanted to let you know Kevin just got here.

Oh, thank God...

He got there... safely.

- I was gonna call you, but uh-- - Are you okay?

Yeah. Yes, I'm fine.

Well, thanks for letting him come.

- Well, thanks for calling. - Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

MOLLY'S VOICE: Good mornin', Kevin.

Good morning.

Who's there? Over here, dear.

Hey. Hi.

Breakfast time. Anything special you'd like?

Anything?

Anything.

- Wow! - Sometimes I can't wait for Santa to come,

so I end up doing some shopping by myself.

Would you like to open one? No, you're gonna spoil him.

Dad, it's her house. If she wants to spoil me, she can spoil me.

All right. All right. But just one.

And not... The biggest one.

Does it really fly?

It really does, but only outside.

NATALIE: We don't want to break anything. Wow! Thanks, Natalie!

Why do you have to leave? It's so close to Christmas.

Yeah, I know, but the royal family's coming for one of Natalie's fund-raisers,

and it's my job to make sure the event's well-covered by press and photographers.

Hey, it's not gonna take that long, and I won't have to work for the rest of your vacation, okay?

And if you need anything, ask Prescott. He'll take care of you.

It's a cool plane, huh?

I think she's trying to buy my affection.

- (chuckles) Kevin. - What?

I'm not saying it's a bad thing.

I'm glad you're here.

(engine starts)

Mr. Prescott, can I ask you a question?

- Yes. - Can you make a milk shake?

Do you have chocolate?

What? Natalie said anything I need.

And you need a milk shake, do you? A chocolate one.

- Do you think we'll have a white Christmas? - It seems highly unlikely,

given the recent unseasonable temperatures.

What's this thing? A mini elevator?

It's called a dumbwaiter.

- Why is it called a waiter? - Because it carries food.

- Why is it called dumb? - Because it doesn't speak...

or ask countless idiotic questions.

(machine whirring)

- Can you read? - (gasps)

The door. "No entry."

- What, does that mean me? - Especially you.

This is the control center from which I manage this entire household...

as well as my personal quarters.

Now, Miss Natalie may have granted you run of her home,

but this is my domain and strictly off-limits.

Understood?

Any more questions?

Good.

(humming)

Hey, Molly. Whatcha doing?

Cleanin' the house.

- Gross. - Oh, no, no. Not in this house.

Watch. Vacuum, on.

- Vacuum, off. - Wow! The place even cleans itself!

Want to see somethin' really cool?

Open sesame.

Wow! This place is awesome.

(chuckles) Yes, it is.

♪ Wow, I feel good ♪ (lip-synching)

♪ I knew that I would now ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ I knew that I would now ♪

♪ So good so good ♪

♪ I got you ♪

♪ Ow I feel nice ♪

♪ Like sugar and spice ♪

♪ I feel nice ♪

♪ Like sugar and spice ♪

♪ So nice so nice ♪

♪ I got you ♪

(thud) (Prescott groans)

♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪

♪ I know that I can do no wrong♪

♪ And when I hold you in my arms ♪

♪ My love won't do you no harm ♪

♪ And I feel nice ♪

♪ Like sugar and spice ♪ Music, off?

♪ I feel nice ♪

♪ Like sugar and spice ♪ Music, off.

I'm off to the store. I'll be back in an hour or so.

And don't pick on that dear child.

Door, open.

MARV: She's out of the house.

All right. The coast is clear.

Let's go. Wait. Are you sure it's safe?

Pumpkin, would I take you in there if it wasn't safe?

It's just if the prince don't arrive till tomorrow, why are we going in there now?

To get the lay of the land. What do ya think, Vera,

We're just gonna go in there tomorrow and start grabbing kids?

"Ooh, everybody get in the van." No.

We gotta figure out the where, the when, the how to get him out of there.

Do you know the secret to criminal success?

Not getting caught.

Planning. Preparation. Preparedness.

Be prepared. Be a prepared "preperator."

Eh? That's my motto, and that's why I'm--

A boy scout. No. The boss, eh?

Who's the boss? You're the boss!

Where's the boss? Right here.

Hey. Boss, party of one. Right there.

All right. Let's go, pookie.

No. It can't be!

It is! It's Marv!

Mr. Prescott? Mr. Prescott, are you there?

Mr. Prescott! Help!

(gasps) Marv, the alarm is on.

Oh, no. What are we gonna do?

Watch this, eh?

Oh.

- Alarm, off. - (beeps)

Hmm. Door, open.

(buzz)

Ahh! That is one handy gadget.

Well, what's my motto?

You're the boss?

Be prepared. Yeah. Right.

I married a genius.

What do you think that is? Is that a turkey ball?

Just put that down. Like a klepto here. All right.

- The prince should be staying in one of these rooms. - I think that's an elevator.

Don't-- you give me such a headache. You give me a headache.

You're giving me a headache. You give me a headache.

- MARV: Don't push me. - Door, close.

(whispering) You're driving me crazy. You're driving me crazy.

You're driving me-- oh, shut up.

Door, open.

Door, close. I love this thing.

Marv--

The door was... shutting.

What's wrong with this thing? Door, open.

MARV (whispering): I think there's somebody here.

Anybody in here?

Well, not now. Shh! You shh!

You shh! You shh!

(water running)

Maybe the prince came early.

(water running)

(raspberry) MARV: What the--

(both screaming)

(groans)

That's it. Come on.

(groans) Ow!

(groaning)

(screaming)

(water rushing)

(gasping) Up!

- MARV: Come on, honey. - Uh! Marv!

- (creaking) - (Vera gasping)

(screaming)

MARV: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!

(Vera gasping)

Mr. Prescott!

Mr. Prescott!

- You! - Hello, Marv.

Well, long time, no see.

- Huh, kid? - Is that the prince?

No, that's Kevin. Kevin, Vera. Vera, Kevin.

If that ain't him, let's get outta here before somebody sees us.

Yeah. I think we got the lay of the land.

I'll be back! (yells)

Come on! Oh, all right!

(tires squealing)

House, clean yourself up. (buzzes)

Well, it was worth a try.

Okay, maybe they won't be too mad.

I mean, once I tell them what happened, maybe they'll be okay with it.

(screams)

Or maybe not. What-- what--

What-- what--

(creaking) What-- what--

Okay, I know it looks bad, but--

(screams) Honey, what's the--

(panting) Kevin, what-- what-- What have you done?

Prescott! Prescott!

It's not working. I tried. Prescott: Yes, ma'am?

Get up here! Now!

- Well, it wasn't working. - Kevin, what happened?

It wasn't me. It was the burglars.

- The burglars? - Yeah. And I recognized the one guy. Marv.

Did I ever tell you about him? Well, that's another story.

But the point is they were gonna rip off your house.

-So you chose instead to trash it? -No. I was trying to protect it.

- By trashing it? - What in the name of--

Hey, why didn't you come when I was calling you?

Prescott,

Were you aware of any burglars here today?

Burglars?

No, ma'am. All the alarms were on as usual.

Maybe they turned 'em off. They had one of these, you know.

I saw no intruders, and except for-- beg your pardon, ma'am--

the briefest of bathroom breaks, my eyes were on the monitors at all times.

How one child could do so much damage in the time it took me to--

- Well, it's quite beyond me. - It wasn't me!

Well, there was no one else here.

- He's lying! - Am not!

- Are too! - Am not!

- Are too! - With all due respect, sir,

I did see master Kevin playing with the devices...

as if the house were a big toy. (gasps)

The only hooligan here today was your son.

(hyperventilating) Give us a minute.

(hyperventilating continues)

Kevin.

(hyperventilating continues)

Kevin, sit. Dad--

What's going on? I told you. The burglars broke into the house.

Kevin, you know I can forgive just about anything but lying.

Oh, right. So you wouldn't get mad if I wrecked the place, which I didn't,

as long as I admit that I did,

which I didn't?

Well, I thought this over and, uh,

I understand that this is a difficult adjustment for you.

And it's only natural that you'd be acting out. It's a need for attention.

- No, it isn't. - Kevin!

Anyway--

Anyway, what's a little damage?

It's not as if I'm not insured.

Do you have something to say?

Thank you.

- And? - I'm sorry for the damage of your house.

(audio rewinding)

The security cameras must have got the whole thing on tape.

What?

Prescott must have turned off the cameras.

MARV: It's unbelievable.

It is not to be believed!

I can't believe this!

It's the lousy kid again.

Everywhere I break into!

It's like he's stalking me or something.

Come on, Marv. He's just a little boy.

Yeah, well, I got big scars from that little--

Never mind.

I'll tell you one thing,

this time he's not gonna mess me up.

- Mm-hmm. - This time it's all gonna go smooth as silk.

Because this time...

I got an inside man.

- (chuckling) - (chuckling)

Oh. (chuckles)

(grunts) (tires squeal)

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

(horn honking) MARV: Hey, come on! Watch the road! Safety first.

- (screams) - What are you doing here?

- Tell me. - I, uh-- I--

Nothing. I swear.

I just thought all of this was kinda cool so I wanted to take a look at it.

You don't go to other people's homes uninvited, and you don't touch their things.

Didn't I warn you what would happen if I ever caught you in here again?

Not specifically.

Trust me. It won't be pleasant.

(knocking on door) What do you want?

I thought I heard the boy. Ah!

And indeed I did.

I don't want him bothering you anymore, so I'll just get him out of your way.

Come along, Kevin.

He'll be my responsibility from now on.

Thank you for saving me, Molly.

Prescott is a good person to stay away from.

You're telling me. He's one of the bad guys--

The bad guys who broke into the house.

Although technically they didn't break in, because they had their own remote.

And who do you think gave them that? Prescott?

- Mm-hmm. - That sounds a bit far-fetched to me.

I know. And you probably think I have an overactive imagination.

Most people do. But you have to believe me.

Kevin, Prescott is a lonely man. The only thing he has is this job.

And between you and me, he hates working here.

But to do what you're suggesting-- Then it all makes perfect sense.

He hates his job, so he tries to pull off a big heist so he can afford to quit.

Ah, I don't know. Listen.

He told my dad I was lying when I wasn't.

And he shut off the security cameras. So it can only mean one thing.

- And that is? - Marv and his new friend...

have an inside guy--

Prescott. I think you're right.

- I am? - Yeah. You do have an overactive imagination.

But that's what I love about children.

My own son was the same as you at your age-- a real handful.

You must have been a great mom, Molly.

Well, you just try to keep that imagination under control, okay?

(classical music on stereo)

PETER: You were very understanding about what happened today.

Well, Kevin's going through a difficult time.

It's not easy when your parents split up.

Believe me, I know.

But we'll get through it.

You're gonna be a great stepmom.

(music continues)

(exhales) I think we just need to figure out a way to make him feel more at home here.

Maybe do some of the Christmas things he's used to doing, like trimming the tree.

You do that yourself? (chuckles) Yes, I do that myself.

It's fun. That's exactly what we're gonna do. We're gonna trim the tree.

It'll get us in the spirit of things, unite us as a family.

Okay. Okay?

No friends, no fun, no snow.

This is definitely gonna be the worst Christmas ever.

Hey, Kev. How you doing?

(sighs)

What do you say we just forget about today and start over, huh?

You mean it? Yeah.

You know, Natalie's really a great person.

You just gotta get to know her better.

I think we should start having a little more fun around here.

I could live with that. Yeah?

Why don't we start by trimming that tree?

Now? Sure. Why not?

♪ Jingle bells jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Over the fields we go ♪

♪ Laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on bobtails ring making spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Oh, jingle bells jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

(phone rings)

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ (ringing continues)

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Over the fields we go ♪

- Hello. - ♪ Laughing all the way ♪

- Hold on, I can't hear you. Can you turn down the music? - ♪ Making spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is to ride and sing ♪

♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪ Music, off.

What did you say?

Of course we'll be there. We wouldn't miss it.

Let me call you back. (phone beeps off)

Evangelista's in town. Margaret's just throwing together a little impromptu supper,

but we shouldn't go, should we?

Well, why don't you just go ahead without me, and Kevin and I will finish up over here?

Really? You wouldn't mind?

No. They're your friends anyway.

You're an angel. I won't be home late.

Okay.

Where were we?

You don't have to stay because of me. No, I want to stay. Really.

So, does Natalie go out every night?

Pretty much. She leads a very exciting life-- more exciting than we're used to.

So you'd say you're not in a rut?

No, I'm not in a rut. Why?

I thought maybe that's why you left.

Kevin. Kevin, you know--

I didn't leave your mom to be with Natalie, okay?

That just kind of happened later.

You wanna tell me about it?

(exhales) Adult relationships are just complicated.

Sometimes when two people get married really young like your mom and I did,

You just end up feeling kind of--

- You missed out on some things. - Yeah.

Just 'cause you grow up on the outside,

doesn't mean you wanna stop having fun, enjoying life.

I know all about the inner child, Dad.

- Oh. You do, huh? - That's why old guys drive sports cars.

You're probably right.

But the trouble with sports cars-- no room for anybody else.

Maybe one other person max. But if you want to take a real road trip,

with luggage and all, you don't even have room for a friend.

I mean, they're cool and fast and all,

but who wants to be in a nice car when you're all alone?

(Kate sighs)

Well, that looks just about perfect.

All that's left to do now is put on the star.

Kevin always puts on the star.

That's right. He does, doesn't he?

I always hold him up. And then I give him a wedgie.

(chuckles) He makes a fuss. We all laugh.

Well, I guess we're just gonna have to use the ladder this year.

Okay, Dad, you can put me down now.

Wow. Looks pretty good.

I think it looks great.

I think it's our best tree yet.

PETER (on tv): Hey!

(family chattering)

- Merry Christmas, Mommy. - KEVIN: Merry Christmas.

KATE (on tv): Merry Christmas. (all chattering)

Oh! Look at that!

KATE: Hey. Hey. PETER: Hey.

PETER: I had this little computer chip installed in Mom.

We're gonna get her to make some breakfast.

(yawns) Morning. Mornin'.

Good morning, sleepyheads. You're finally up.

What did you do to our tree?

Oh, that's my fault.

I have a standing appointment with the tree decorators every year.

And in all the excitement, I forgot to cancel.

Are you ever gonna forgive me?

You undid our tree?

Well, it would have had to come down eventually anyway.

Yeah, come on, Kev. Look at all these presents, huh?

Oh, wait. Ooh, here's a big one. I believe it has--

yes, it has your name on it.

Come on. Let's open it up. It's from Natalie and me.

But shouldn't I open it tomorrow on Christmas?

Ah, you got plenty to open tomorrow. Come on. One won't hurt.

Go ahead.

(gasps) Super spy bugging and listening device.

Isn't that cool? Yeah. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Natalie.

I'm glad you like it.

- Hey, Mom, where are you going? - I'm going to take Kevin some things.

- Mom, where you going? - He doesn't have any clean clothes with him,

and I'm sure he doesn't have any toys to play with.

To check out Dad's girlfriend. Wanna go?

(doorbell rings)

May I help you?

Wow! I'm here for Kevin McCallister.

Wow! Buzz.

- Are you here to take him home? - No, I have something for him.

Right this way.

PETER: You should be able to hear that.

How do I sound? KATE (on headset): Kids, stay close.

Mom! Hey!

Hey!

Mmm! Ohh!

- (chuckles) - Hey, you guys remember Natalie, right?

Buzz, Megan. Hi, Natalie.

Oh, and, uh, Kate, this is Natalie.

Natalie, Kate. Hello, Kate.

Hello.

So, are you guys gonna stay?

No, I just brought you some of your stuff. You guys gotta see this house.

- Is that okay, Natalie? - Of course. Be my guest.

Awesome tree! It used to look better.

Wait, what is this thing on your head?

It's a spy kit that Natalie got me for an early Christmas present.

Really? That was nice of you.

Well, I'm very fond of your kids.

I've gotta show you this airplane that she got me.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Oh, no, thank you.

I, uh, didn't know he would have all this stuff to play with. Yeah.

Oh, god. Hey. Let me get that.

I wasn't even sure he could even sleep without it.

Gosh, you know what?

I cannot believe he hasn't even asked for it.

Well, we could buy him another stuffed animal.

Oh, no, no. No.

This is, uh, is Teddy.

Teddy is his transitional object.

Yeah. Transitional object.

It's like something very, very special a child carries with him everywhere.

You're actually supposed to have a spare, in case something happens to it.

Of course, we only had one, remember? Oh! How could I forget?

We were driving down the highway,

like, really in a hurry, going somewhere,

of course, Kevin thinks, oh possibly Teddy might want a little fresh air.

So he rolls down the window and out flies Teddy!

He was ballistic. He was crying. He was so upset.

It was-- oh, my--

So Peter pulls over, and I get out to retrieve the bear.

- I still can't believe you did that. - (chuckles)

Well, it was the slow lane, and there wasn't much traffic.

Yeah, well, I don't know what he would have done if he had lost it.

Well, I think Kevin's going to have so much fun playing with the prince...

that he's not even gonna miss the stuffed animal.

It's going to be so wonderful having a house full of children. I'm looking forward to it.

Children, watch the garden sculpture!

Well, I... better get going.

Before they break something.

Well, we're off to the airport to pick up the royal family.

You all know how important this is.

Now, the caterers will be here momentarily.

And the guests will arrive about an hour before...

you and the royals make your grand entrance. MOLLY: No need to worry, ma'am.

Everything will be taken care of.

It's just that I want everything to go right. Come on. Let's not be late.

I don't want one single thing to go wrong. Door, open.

And nothing will.

(people chattering)

(knocking on door)

Prescott: Oh, good. You've finally arrived.

- Mr. Prescott! Mr. Prescott! It's them! - Hush, you.

I'll get him out of your way. Thank you.

It's the burglars! It's the burglars! Aah! Mr. Prescott!

KEVIN (yelling): it's Marv!

I guess you already knew that though.

Listen, you. I have just about had enough of you and your melodrama!

This is a very important night, and if I have to lock you up to keep you out of our way,

don't think I won't do it. Look!

Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Don't trifle with me, you demon spawn!

Now that's a foolish place to hide. (groans)

One down, two to go.

(muffled) Let me out of here! Let me out of here!

It's freezing cold! Let me out!

Kevin, have you seen Prescott?

Not lately. Ah, typical.

Always poking around when you don't want him,

and when you need him-- nowhere to be found. (doorbell rings)

Ah! Guests already? Whatever happened to fashionably late?

NATALIE: Well, I don't like to boast, but,

yes, it will be the party of the season. (beep)

Oh, I'm getting another call. All right. See you there.

Hello? Carmelina, how are you? (mouthing words)

What? Oh, no!

They're snowed in. Their flight's been canceled.

Well, so am I. Devastated.

Well, all right. We'll see you tomorrow.

Merry Christmas.

(phone beeps off)

What are we gonna do now? It's gonna be just an ordinary party.

Christmas Eve at your place sounds anything but ordinary to me.

It's hardly the party of the season.

Peter.

- What if we announce our engagement tonight? - Tonight?

I know we were gonna wait till after your divorce was final,

but it's only a few weeks away and your kids already know,

and it'll make tonight so special.

Well, if it makes you happy.

Yes!

(chuckles)

Where are those guys?

Marv, I gotta tinkle. Vera, you can tinkle next week.

MARV (on headset): Always in a hurry.

Door, open.

All right. Now, you remember the plan?

Which plan? Harry's plan? What-- no! Not harry's plan!

The one involving rope and a bag! Why are you yelling at me?

I'm not yell--

Do you remember the plan? Yeah.

Now, when the prince comes up to bed-- We bag him!

- That's right. We kidnap the kid napping. - You're a genius, Marv.

That's right. Door, open.

Now, the prince goes in the bag.

The bag goes out the window. Uh-huh.

We climb down the rope. Door, close.

Right.

MARV (on headset): Everybody in the van.

And we're gone before they know what hit 'em.

Beautiful plan, Marv. Elegant in its simplicity.

All right. Let's try it out. Get in the bag.

Me? Why don't you get in the bag?

Because I'm the boss. Get in the bag, Vera.

- I don't wanna get in the bag. - Vera, just get in the bag! Please!

You didn't tell me I was gonna get in no bag.

I was saving it. It's gonna be fun. Ooh, we're in the bag!

- (grunting) - (groaning)

Nice. All right.

Window, open.

Ahh. (grunts)

VERA: Uh, Marv. Ooh. Oh.

(grunts) Don't worry, honey. I got ya.

Marv! Let me down easy.

I always do, baby. (straining)

Shouldn't have had that last piece of cake.

(yelps)

(rope creaking)

- Perfect. - Door, open.

(screams)

- (groans) - Don't worry.

Everything's under control.

Uh, uh, Marv--

(screaming)

- (thud) - Easy...

but still way cool.

(Marv groaning)

Thanks for breaking my fall, pumpkin.

(hoarse voice) I always do, baby. Okay.

Get out and stay out!

- I know what you're trying to do. - Oh, yeah, wise guy? What?

You're trying to kidnap the prince.

Shut up, ya little moron!

- I'm gonna kill him. - Okay.

(chuckling)

(raspberry)

Vera, honey. Little help?

Oh, yeah, baby. That'd be great. I sure could use it.

- (Marv groaning on headset) - I got every word.

(imitates cheer)

(classical music on stereo)

Welcome back. Where's the royal family? They were snowed in.

Ah! Where's Prescott?

I can't find him anywhere. That's odd.

Well, Molly, make sure everyone has champagne.

We're going to make a special announcement. Yes, ma'am.

How are you? Hi, how are you? Good to see you again.

Everyone, may I have your attention?

Huh?

I am gonna kill that--

Uuh!

- (clattering) - (screaming)

This is always a special night, and tonight may be even more special.

(seething) Get him!

- Peter and I are engaged! - (crowd exclaiming)

(screams, shouts)

- (teeth chattering) - Prescott?

- (softly moaning) - This could not be goin' worse.

Marv, you're on fire.

Oh, thanks, baby. You're not so bad yourself.

No, sweetheart. You're really on fire.

Well, I try to work out. You know-- Aah!

Gaah! Aah!

- Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! - Kevin!

I'm not lying. The bad guys are back.

We're not getting anywhere.

Kevin, I spoke to all the caterers and to Molly.

Nobody saw a thing but you. Now, how could that be?

I don't know. But I heard they're gonna kidnap the prince.

- You heard them say that? - Yeah, with my super spy bugging device.

- And Prescott's involved with the whole thing. - This is absurd.

I'm going to call and make sure the royal family's flight is okay for tomorrow.

Kevin, I know what's going on here.

You do? Yeah.

You're out to destroy my relationship with Natalie. What?

You knew how important tonight was to her, and you went and pulled a crazy stunt like this.

- That's not the truth. - I've given you a lot of leeway,

because I know how tough this divorce has been on you.

But tonight you went way too far.

I want you to go to your room and think about what you've done.

And when you're ready to apologize to Natalie, then we'll talk.

Door, close.

Here you are, George! Merry Christmas! (woman crying)

(ringing)

- Hello? - Mom?

Kevin! Oh, Kevin. I'm so glad you called.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm just watching It's a Wonderful Life.

- You are? - You know how that gets to me.

- What channel is it on? - Eight.

Ohh.

I guess I'm just a sucker for happy endings.

So, how is your party? Are you havin' a good time?

Yeah, it's all right. How about you? Havin' a good Christmas Eve?

Yeah. It's great.

(sniffles)

- (sobs) I love you, Kevin. - Love you too, Mom.

(laughs) Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas. - Okay. Bye.

(beeps off)

(beeps off)

(crying)

(knocking)

- Kevin, are you awake? - Yeah.

Your father and I were a little rough on you before. Are you okay?

- Yeah. - Good.

Because if you ever do anything like that again, you'll be out of this house so fast...

your head will spin.

So your father's getting divorced. Boo-hoo. Everyone's parents get divorced.

That's life. You'll get over it. But you're not gonna come between your father and me.

He wants you in his life, and I think that's admirable.

But if you want him in your life, you better not cross me.

Understood? Good.

I'll have that window fixed first thing in the morning. Sweet dreams.

MAN (on tv): To my big brother George, the richest man in town.

(crowd exclaiming)

I've just had a nice little chat with Kevin.

I think we're beginning to understand each other better.

What are you watching?

It's a Wonderful Life. They've been running it all night.

- Come on. Watch it with me. - I've seen it.

- So? - So...

I don't understand people who watch movies over and over again.

I saw it. I cried. Once was enough.

You gotta be kidding. Kate and I watch this every year with the kids.

It's a family tradition.

Well. (clicks off)

Now that you're going to have a new family, maybe it's time for some new traditions.

They'll be back. And if no one believes me,

I'll have to catch 'em myself. (grunts)

MARV: Shut up, you little moron.

(clicks off)

(keyboard clacking)

Shut up, you moron.

- Okay, stop. - (beeps)

(electronic voice) Spin faster.

(keyboard clacking)

MARV: Get in the bag. Shut up, ya bag!

Christmas morning. Merry Christmas, Kevin.

Merry Christmas, Dad! Hey, hey!

- Peter, are you ready to go? - Go? Go where?

Kevin, Natalie and I gotta go pick up the royal family right now.

Now? But aren't we gonna open presents?

It's gonna have to wait till we get back.

But it's Christmas. And why do you both have to go?

Look, you know how sometimes you gotta do things you don't wanna do?

This is one of those times. Hey, we'll be back before you know it, okay?

And I'm sure nothing will happen while we're gone. Am I right?

- Right. - Good.

Hang in there. We won't be long.

Door, open. (door opens)

NATALIE: Merry Christmas, Kevin.

(door shuts)

Merry Christmas.

(cell phone rings)

(ringing continues)

- (sighs) - (beeps on)

Hello?

No, we're awake. It wasn't me!

Shh! All right. We're on our way.

(beeps off) Oy. Sure makes me nervous.

Let's go, pookie.

I knew it. Here they come.

First step-- eliminate the inside man. Oh, Mr. Prescott?

Mr. Prescott, are you in there? (pounding)

Yes. Mr. Prescott,

can you help me with something? And what would that be?

Another milk shake, perhaps? No. A bottle of wine.

Excuse me? Natalie said we need to get some wine from the basement...

for the royal family.

If we must.

So I guess you're right.

We're not gonna have any snow this Christmas.

One can never go wrong with low expectations.

You know, Mr. Prescott, it's been great spending time with you these last few days.

Time flies when you're having fun.

I know we got off to a bad start, but things can be better-- much better.

- 'Cause you're down there, and I'm up here. - Come get--

(pounding) Young man, open this door! Let me out of here!

Oh! Oh, boy! Am I glad to see you!

The kidnappers are coming. But this time I'm one step ahead of them.

And I locked their accomplice in the basement. Is this a perfect plan, or what?

It would be, dear, except for one thing--

Prescott is not their accomplice.

I am.

(gasps) You're-- you're the inside man?

- I'm afraid so. - Hey, Mom.

We're here. Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Mom? He's your son? - I told you he was a handful.

Aah! Hey! Get off of me! Oh, now, come on!

Isn't there a trapdoor or something?

No. Not much demand for 'em in a wine cellar.

Guess you're right.

Got any good ideas?

Not a one.

(sighs)

I do have a cell phone though. Perfect! May I?

Sure. Thanks.

(beeping)

(ringing, beeps on)

Hello, Buzz? Kevin, is that you?

- Yeah. I'm calling from a cell phone. - Oh, a cell phone.

Good for you, puke-face. Is that another present she gave you? What a showoff.

(beeps off)

- I'll try again. - (keypad beeping)

(ringing, beeps on)

Buzz, before you hang up, I need to tell you something. I need to talk to Mom.

Okay. You told me. (beeps off)

(beeps off) I'll try again later.

(sighs)

Why in heaven's name did you think I was the inside man?

Well, if you hadn't acted so strange, I wouldn't have thought you were...

so strange.

And where were you the first time these guys broke in?

Why didn't you answer the intercom?

Why did you shut off the cameras?

I didn't. But if those thugs were using Molly's remote,

they could've turned off the whole security system.

- But why'd you say I was lying? - Well, because I thought you were.

And besides, I didn't want Miss Natalie to know that I'd been,

well, napping on the job.

That woman. If she could work me 24 hours a day, she would.

It's downright inhuman. So, whenever she's not here, I, uh--

You take advantage. I take a break.

A nice, well-deserved break.

With all the cameras and intercoms turned off, I didn't notice anything.

- So I-- - You were covering your whoo-hoo!

(chuckles) Precisely.

You want to try calling your mom again? Sure.

(ringing)

- Hello? - Mom?

Kevin! (static)

- Wait. Kevin, I can't hear you. - That's probably 'cause I'm locked in a wine cellar.

No, I-- honey, I can't hear you. There's too much static.

(yelling) I'm locked in Natalie's wine cellar!

- Are you calling to say Merry Christmas? - Mom, are you there?

- Sweetheart? - Are you there, Mom?

- Kevin? - Mom? Mom?

(beeps off)

Oh, great!

The battery's dead.

(sighs)

Hmm.

(ringing)

- (beeps on) - Kalban residence.

Hi, this is Kate McCallister, Kevin's mom. May I speak to him, please?

Kevin's not here right now. That's strange. He just called.

Really? Well, he's out with his father and Miss Natalie.

Oh. Oh, he must have called from his dad's cell phone. That explains the line going dead.

Okay. Thank you.

(clicks, dial tone)

(beeps off)

Little rascal called his mother.

You want me to go show him who's boss? Sit down, Marv.

You're not the boss. I'm the boss.

Okay.

(mouthing words)

His cell phone is dead. I don't think he'll be any more trouble.

No.

Cookie.

- (cell phone rings) - Oh!

- (beeps on) - Hello?

Peter, it's me. I'm calling Kevin back. We got disconnected.

Kevin? Kevin's not with me. He's back at Natalie's house.

Really? I was just told he's with you.

Well-- well, don't worry, Kate. I'm sure everything's fine.

Okay.

- Wow, that's weird. - (phone beeps off)

- Someone told Kate that Kevin's with us. - Hmm.

Maybe I better go back and check on him. No.

That's exactly what he wants. Peter, he's manipulating you.

Can't you see the pattern? Every time we leave the house, he pulls something.

He's just trying to get your attention and sabotage me.

Hello! Anybody out there? Hello!

There's gotta be something that we can do to get outta here.

There is.

Help me move these boxes. Okay.

But what's back there?

Definitely not a "dumb" question.

The dumbwaiter! Bingo.

- Let's hope it still works. - I'm sorry I misjudged you, Mr. Prescott.

Likewise.

I'll never forget Miss Natalie's reaction...

when she came home and saw what you'd done to the house.

- (rapid panting) - (wheezing, laughing)

I do love watching her hyperventilate! (laughs)

It's one of the few pleasures of this job.

If you hate this job, why don't you quit?

Jobs aren't that easy to come by.

Besides, I could end up working for someone far worse.

You shouldn't stay someplace you hate just 'cause you're scared. Life's too short.

Hmm.

And voila.

Let's see if you fit.

Mm, up.

Watch your head. As soon as I get up, I'm gonna let you out.

You just take care of yourself, you hear? (switch clicks, whirring)

MARV: I'm tellin' ya, I heard something.

All right. Stay very alert here, Vera.

I tell you what. Why don't you go down, check out the wine cellar?

Okay. Yeah. There you go.

KEVIN: Down here!

You better stay-- Oww!

Vera! Ow! Aah! Vera!

What? Ooh! Hit the button!

- Hang on, baby! Huuh! - Oh! No, no! Hit the button!

What? I can't hear you. Hit the button!

- Oh! - Oww!

No, no! Not that one! The other button!

That's it! Oww!

Hey!

Man!

Over here!

- (groaning) - (Kevin laughing )

- Hi, Mommy. - (gasps)

- Yes! - (clicking buttons)

See ya. Door, open!

(grinding)

Natalie, you go get the royals. I'm gonna go back and check on Kevin.

- What, now? - Yeah, somethin's up. I can sense it.

- Maybe you have to be a parent. - That's not fair. You know how much I care about kids.

How much do you care about my kid?

Taxi!

Kevin? Are you all right?

(grunting)

(horn honking)

Mom, do you think you could slow down a little bit? Kevin's probably fine.

You just keep an eye out for cops, okay?

All right, Vera. Go check out the living room. See if he's in there, all right?

God! I can't believe this.

I shoulda gone to college. Two years, coulda been a dental technician. Two years!

Marv! He's in the bedroom!

- Mom? - Get him!

Door, open.

Got ya.

Uuh! Gaah!

Aah!

Ooh!

Door, close.

- Hey, Molly! - Get in there!

- Marv, honey. You in there? - (beeps)

Shut up, Vera!

Well, okay. I was just tryin' to--

- Shut up, you moron. - Hey, I'm no moron, you jerk.

- Shut up, ya bag! - Door, open!

- What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with you?

I'm no bag. And you know what? You ain't no genius!

Vera, honey-- No! Don't "Vera, honey" me!

You're not even as smart as this kid, who, in case you hadn't noticed...

is totally kickin' our butts!

Well, from now on, I am my own boss!

Vera. Vera, honey-- Don't "honey" me!

Pumpkin. Pumpkin.

Marv! Forget about her! Get the kid! I'll be outta here in a few minutes.

(buzzing)

(thuds, buzzing stops)

Oh!

(chuckling)

Whoa!

(yelping)

(both groaning)

Hey! Hey!

Open sesame.

Well, get a load of that. Holy majolie!

Come on, Vera! All right! Come on out, kid!

Ah! All right.

Open bar. Open bookshelf. (buzzes)

Open-- open book-bar. Open book-bar-shelf.

Open-- open book-bar-thing. Open sesame.

That's stupid. Whoa!

Who's stupid now, stupid? Hey, come on. Just get off me, all right?

MARV: I'm gonna take care of everything.

Bar, revolve sesame.

MARV: Watch this. It's all gonna be fine.

Bar, stop. Oh! It's goin' faster!

Yeah, I know, Vera. I know it's goin' faster.

- Speed faster sesame. - Okay. The wife's not feelin'--

Faster sesame!

- (panicked yelling) - Maximum speed sesame.

(Kevin laughing)

Stop sesame. (gasps)

(screaming)

Nice jump, Marv.

(groaning)

Ohh! (gasping)

Oof!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Good night. Aah! (Kevin gasps)

- Mr. Prescott! - At your service.

- Boy, am I glad to see you. - (chuckles)

Perhaps we should call the police. Good idea, Mr. Prescott.

Just "Prescott" to you.

"Prescott!"

I thought you said you weren't worried. I don't know.

I just had a feeling.

- (Marv, Vera gasping) - PETER: Kevin!

Dad!

Mom! Mom?

- Who are they? - Uh-oh!

Let's get outta here! Around the back!

We're on it. Let's go! Kevin!

Ooh-ooh!

Yes!

Uuh! Yeah! Way to go, guys!

KATE: Kevin!

- Kevin! - Mom!

Oh, honey! I'm so glad you're all right. Ohh!

I am now! I'm so sorry I didn't believe you.

- Mmm! - (Prescott clears throat)

The police have been summoned.

I've got lots of fun planned for your stay.

Can we go to Wrigley Field? And the aquarium? Do you have any kids?

No. But I promise we'll have a very exciting time.

- (sirens wailing) - Cool!

Oh, come on. No, prison's not so bad. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. On Thursdays you get Salisbury steak. Yeah, I know about prison.

That's where I met you. Calm down. Calm down.

You calm down. Women, eh?

Yeah. Hey, don't touch me.

- Peter! What's he done now? - Well, he saved the day, that's what.

You should be thanking him.

Molly? What in the world is going on?

It seems they were gonna kidnap the prince. Best we can gather, she's the boss.

She's my maid. I'm her boss!

Well, looks like you're gonna have to find a new maid.

And a new butler, I'm afraid.

- I resign. - Resign?

But... why?

Because as a wise young man once said, "Life's too short."

Peter, do something.

All right. Here goes.

Natalie, I think I mistook...

infatuation and excitement for love.

Look, this-- this is your world. It's not mine.

The whole time I was here, all I did was miss my family.

I'm in love with my wife and kids,

and I belong with them.

And I wanna come home. I mean, I understand if you need time to think about it.

Mom?

Oh! (crying)

I love you. I love you.

Young man, how are we ever going to show you our gratitude?

Would your family like to spend Christmas with our family?

That sounds cool.

- Is that okay? - (chuckles) Yes.

You're going to be with them?

Today? On Christmas?

(crying)

(panting)

Thank you.

Music, on. (Christmas music playing)

Snow, fall.

Ha ha! Hey!

I knew this was gonna be the best Christmas ever!

(all exclaiming)

Captioned by Point.360