Original subtitles

I say to you, I tell you, a tornado

I say a tornado, that's a terrible thing

A terrible thing

I saw a little town in Idaho

Pretty and green in the grass, looked like it would live forever

Saw that same town, the same night, after a tornado blew through that place

Why, there wasn't a single blade of grass, or even one tired little buttercup

And everybody gone

The men ran north and the women ran south

The dogs ran east and the cats ran west

Nobody left in that town but a little boy

calling down the main street

"Bowser" He was calling for his dog

"Bowser Where's my little dog Bowser?"

Hello, tornado Goodbye, town

We ain't never had a tornado here

That's what they said in Idaho

Said it in the morning, tornado came at night

What do you call that there pole?

I'm mighty glad you asked me, mister Mighty glad indeed

I call it a tornado rod

You nail it on your roof, let that pinwheel turn in the breeze

and I warranty and I guarantee

if this here pretty little town ever gets hit by a tornado

it'll blow through here like a gentle spring breeze

And the thinnest little birch tree, it'll bend over dancing

and spring right back up again on its two little feet

- That's him, Sheriff - Like to hold it, little girl?

You see that, folks? Light enough for a little girl to hold on to

And now, hear me!

I want you to know that this first tornado rod goes absolutely free

to this pretty little girl, if she'll tell me her name

My name's Starbuck, honey What's yours?

Belinda

From me to you, Belinda To remember me by

Now, that's the first one

The next one ain't gonna cost $100!

No, sirree, it's not gonna cost you $50

It is gonna cost you one quarter

Twenty-five cents, one-fourth part of $1 Two bits Now, who gets it?

I'll take it

Very well Pass that down Let the money go

The next one's gonna cost you 50 cents

Hurry up Act fast The price is going up

- Fifty cents, half a dollar - I'll take it!

- Who is it? - Me

Right there for the gent, please Thank you

The next one's gonna cost $1 $1, $2, $3, $4

- Hurry up, there won't be no more - Starbuck

- Your name Starbuck? - Get him, he's a con man

There they go

Hey, he's gone

Everybody after him! Clear the square!

Don't let him get away Come on

So long, Belinda

Whoa, boy

Jimmy won the prize

- Jimmy won the prize - Hey, Jimmy

You won it easy, Jimmy

- Is this here roadster yours? - Sure is

- How many cylinders? - Five

- How tall are you? - 6'

That's pretty tall

Ain't short

It's a nice height for a fellow to be

I wouldn't be nothing else

I was watching you at the dance

You dance like you were gonna bust

Feel like I'm gonna bust

- You visiting? - The Maguires

- They're my cousins - Hey, Jimmy, come on

Your name's Snookie

Yours is Jim Curry

No, I seen you three times last week and four times this week

- Seven times altogether - Altogether

Why didn't you talk?

Didn't have nothing to say

- You always wear that little red hat? - No law says that I can't

- Gonna wear it all your life? - Nope

I'm gonna give it to some handsome fellow That's when, as, and if

- Did you say five cylinders? - Yeah

- You say 6'? - Yeah

Like to see how she runs?

Yeah

Jim Curry!

If you're looking for your brother, just seen him go out

and Snookie Maguire after him

- Find Jim, Noah? - No, I didn't, Pop

Phil says he come out with Snookie Maguire

If Jim comes back, will you tell him we went down to the depot

- to meet Lizzie's train? - Yeah, I'll tell him

But seems to me, if Jimmy's found a girlfriend

he ain't gonna waste no time meeting his sister

- Let's go, Noah - No, I'm gonna find that kid

When Lizzie gets off that train, I sure hope she got what she went for, H C

- Like what? - Like a husband, maybe

No offense, just friendly

- Where'd you find him? - He was parked with Snookie Maguire

What of it?

What of it? You could have got yourself in a hatful of trouble

- Well, what kind of trouble, Noah? - That girl

I tell you, Pop, her hair is so bleached blond--

- It ain't bleached - Don't tell me

She's been in town less than a week

and Gil Denby says she's bought two pints of peroxide

Well, what's that? I use peroxide for a cut finger

Well, if she got cut that often, she'd bleed to death

- What happened? - I'll tell you what happened

They were out in the car, so twisted up together

that I couldn't tell where he left off and Snookie began

If I hadn't come along, heck knows what would've happened

Heck knows I might have come home with her little red hat

With her what?

Nothing

Do you know what trouble you can get yourself into with a girl like that?

You think you're smart enough to handle it yourself?

I ain't saying I'm smart

I don't mind you telling me how to do and how to figure things out

I just wish you wouldn't holler!

There she comes

Now, remember, Jimmy, when Lizzie gets off the train, no questions

- Well, how'll we know how she made out? - No questions

I won't ask no dumb questions, Pop

I'll just say:

"Lizzie, which one of Uncle Ned's sons looks like the marrying kind?"

Yeah, that'll fool her

Pop!

Lizzie!

Hiya, Lizzie

It's so great to have you back, Lizzie!

How was the trip, Lizzie?

Fine Everything was fine

- I brought you a present, Pop - Pop means at Uncle Ned's

- How was it at Uncle Ned's? - Fine, Jimmy Everything was fine

I brought you one, too

Don't eat it all in one night You might get sick

Here's yours, Noah The pen is filled with red ink

Which one of Uncle Ned's sons looks like the marrying--

Home again It doesn't seem like a week

More like a year

Everything right where it was Every

Everything just like home

- Now, Pop Can we-- - No, not now

Looks like you made out fine, Pop

Dishes all washed, no dirty pans on the stove

You should have seen the place while you was gone

Filthy Dishes stacked up in the sink that high every day

- Ain't that right, boys? - Sure, that's right

I washed the dishes every night What are you talking about?

Looks like the trip perked you up real good

When you left here, you were looking all dragged out by the heat

What was it like in Sweet River?

- Hotter than hell - Now, you quit that

I don't see nothing funny in her talking like a cowhand

I'm sorry, Noah That's all the conversation I've heard for a week

How's Uncle Ned, Lizzie? And Aunt Ivy?

- Yeah How's all them boys? - Big

Well, if they take after Aunt Ivy, I'll bet they talked your ear off

No, they take after Uncle Ned They just grunt

Who got to be the best looking of the boys, Lizzie?

I guess Pete

I never could get those boys straight Which one is Pete?

- He's the one with the yellow hair - Yellow hair? Hey, that's nice on a man

- It's honest - Pete's honest, all right

The way you say it, I bet you liked him the best

Yeah, I'm crazy about Pete

He asked me to marry him

- Is that true, Lizzie? - Word of honor

Well, what'd you tell him?

I told him I would as soon as he graduates from grammar school

Grammar school?

Well, is he that dumb?

No, Pete's not dumb He's only 9 years old

Look, Pop, let's not beat around the bush

I know why you sent me to Sweet River, because Uncle Ned's got six boys

Three of them are old enough to get married, and so am I

Well, I'm sorry you went to all that expense: the railroad ticket and all those new clothes

Noah, you can write it in the books in red ink

I'm sorry, the trip didn't work

- Lizzie, that ain't what we sent you for - Jimmy, please

She's right That's what we sent her for Nothing come of it

What I want to know is why did nothing come of it?

- Let it alone, Noah - No, Pop, an investment's an investment

If we put money in a heifer and she don't turn out, we got to ask questions

- That's very well put, Noah - What happened in Sweet River, Lizzie?

Nothing

That's the awful thing

Just nothing at all

What did you do? Where'd you go?

The first three or four days I was there, I stayed in my room, mostly

Why'd you do that?

- Because I was embarrassed - Embarrassed about what?

Noah, use your head I knew what I was there for

and that whole family knew it, too

I couldn't stand the way they were looking me over

So I'd go downstairs for my meals, and then I'd rush right back to my room

I packed, unpacked, washed my hair a dozen times

read the Sears Roebuck Catalog from cover to cover

Finally, I said to myself, "Lizzie Curry, snap out of this "

It was a Saturday night and they were all going to the rodeo dance

So I got myself all decked out in my highest heels and my lowest cut dress

and I walked down to that supper table

and those boys looked at me as if I was stark naked

For the longest while, there wasn't a sound except Uncle Ned slopping his soup

And then suddenly, like a gunshot, I heard Ned Jr say:

"Lizzie, how much do you weigh?"

What did you say to that?

I said I weight 119 pounds, my teeth are all my own

and I stand 17 hands high

That wasn't very smart of you He was just trying to open the conversation

Well, I guess I closed it

And then about 10 minutes later

little Pete came hurrying in to the supper table

He was carrying a geography book, and he said:

"Hey, Pop, where's Madagascar?"

Well, everybody ventured an opinion and they were all dead wrong

And suddenly I heard myself say:

"It's an island in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Africa

"right opposite Mozambique "

Can I help it if I was good in geography?

What happened?

Nothing Not a doggone thing

And then I heard Ned Jr 's voice:

"Lizzie, you fixing to be a schoolmarm?"

- Oh, no - Oh, yes

Well, from that time on, I knew it was no go

so I didn't go to the rodeo dance

I stayed home and made up poems about what was on sale at Sears, Roebuck

- You and little Pete, huh? - Yeah, me and little Pete

And you know the funniest thing

The day I left Sweet River, little Pete was crying

and he said to me:

"Lizzie, you're the beautifulest girl I ever saw "

And he's right, you are

Yeah, I'm beautiful to you, and I'm beautiful to Pete

- But I'm plain to the big brothers - Because you didn't show yourself right

- I tried, Pop I tried - No, you didn't You hid behind your books

You hid behind your eyeglasses that you don't even wear no more

You're afraid of being beautiful

I'm afraid to think I am, and I know I'm not

I'm sorry

I let you all down I'm sorry

You didn't do anything of the kind, Lizzie

Not a sign of a cloud

No rain tomorrow

- I guess I'll go to bed - Goodnight, Noah

- Me, too - Goodnight, Jimmy

- Well, I think I'll go to bed, too - Yeah

- Welcome home, Lizzie - Thank you, Pop

Look at them cattle

Down and out

That makes 12 steers we lost out here

- And 62 in the gully - Yeah

And nothing we can do about it

What's that?

Howdy

- Need any help? - Who are you?

My name's Starbuck Starbuck's the name

- What can we do for you? - That's the wrong question, mister

The question is, what can I do for you?

I don't remember we called for anybody to do anything

Well, you should have, mister You sure should have

What are you going to do about them cattle?

If there's something we could do, you think we wouldn't do it?

Well, maybe you can't

- You can, I suppose - Maybe

What's your game, mister?

Well, I can see you're not ready for help Not yet Giddyup

- Hey, wait a minute - Later, boy Maybe I'll see you later

- Morning, Noah, Pop, Jim - Good morning, Lizzie

- Morning, honey - Morning, Lizzie

Sure is good to be home again

Yeah, just what the boys were saying

- "Sure is good to have Lizzie home again " - Yeah

So they don't have to eat my cooking

I didn't say that, Pop I like the way you cook

Everything sloshed on nice and greasy

- How do you want your eggs, Jim? - Any old way

- How many? - Five or six will do

He ain't so hungry today

I dreamed we had a rain, a great big rain

Did you, Lizzie?

A thunderstorm, rain coming down in sheets

The lightning flashed and the thunder rolled up and down the canyon

like a kid with a big drum And I looked up

and I laughed and I yelled It was wonderful

Drought's drought and a dream's a dream

But it was a nice dream, Noah And near as good as rain

Near ain't rain

No, I guess it isn't

Lizzie, me and the boys put our heads together

and we thought we'd mention something to you

- Do you want to tell her about it, Noah? - Nope, it's your idea, Pop

Well, the boys and me

we figured to ride into Three Point this afternoon

We're going to the Sheriff's office and we're gonna talk to his deputy

- File? - Yup Why?

Pop, that's the craziest idea

I'm just gonna invite him to supper, Lizzie

- Well, if you do, I won't be here - Why? Don't you like him?

Sure, I like him

I like the way he looks, as if he's got something to say but he won't say it

I like the way he tucks his thumbs into his belt

But that doesn't mean I want you to go out and lasso him for me

I won't do anything of the kind

We'll start talking about a poker game, maybe

and then we'll get around to supper

Before you know it, he'll be sitting at the head of the dining room table

No, not File He doesn't even know I'm on Earth

- He knows, Lizzie He knows - No, he doesn't

Whenever we drive into town, he's got a big hello for you, Noah, and Jim

But he's got nothing at all for me

He just barely sneaks his hat off his head

He makes a point of ignoring me

When a man makes a point of ignoring you, he ain't ignoring you at all

- What do you think, Noah? - Don't ask him

Every time you and Jim have to scratch your back, you turn and ask Noah

The three of us, we get carried away

- For once in your life, get carried away - Pop, don't get mad Well, Noah?

- It's a matter of pride - What is pride, anyway?

- Is that what it is, Lizzie? - Pride

I ran out of that a long time ago

I just want to be a woman

You are a woman, without being married

No, I'm not, Noah I'm a very good housekeeper

I mend your socks and I wash Pop's shirts I'm one of the best cooks in Three Point

But that's not all there is to being a woman

- What more do you want? - I want

I want to make somebody happy

I want somebody to be glad he found me

the way I'll be glad I found him

I want him to be able to tell me who he is

and to tell me who I am, too

Because heaven knows, I have no idea who I am

And I want to be able to do things for him

all kinds of things, and he never has to say thank you

because thank you is our whole life together

I guess it comes down to one thing, to make somebody happy

And it might be File

So if you want to ask him, go ahead and ask him

Okay Come on, boys

Let's go, Noah

- Will you listen to me, File? - Now, look here, Sheriff

Look, when I was broke, you lent me money

When I needed a job, you made me your deputy

When I catch a cold, you bring me a mustard plaster

Now you want to give me a dog I don't want a dog

How do you know you don't want him till you see him?

- I've seen dogs before - Not this one He's different

When you see this little fellow, you'll want to reach right out and hug him to death

- Think I will, huh? - Yes, you will He's real loving

When you're sitting in your bare feet, he'll come over and lick your big toe

Sounds real homey I'll do without him

File, you make me disgusted

Ain't right for you to be shacking up by yourself

especially since once you've been married

You lose your wife, the nights get darn cold

Got to have something warm up against your backside

Last night was 104 degrees

All right, if you don't want the dog

if you're the kind of fellow that don't like animals

- I like animals - You liked animals, you'd have animals

- I've had them - I'll bet What kind?

- When I was a kid, I had a dog - What kind was it?

Mongrel, just a kid's kind

- What'd you call him? - Dog

- I mean, what was his name? - Dog

- Didn't you have no name for him? - Dog

- His name was Dog - Ain't no fitting name for no dog

Well, he always came when I called him

You couldn't have liked him very much if you didn't even give him a name

Sure, liked him a lot Took good care of him, too

Lot better than he took of himself

- Why? What happened to him? - Was always running away

Dumb little mutt run under a buckboard

You figure everything is gonna run away or get run over

I don't know

I don't want another dog

- Sleeps on your feet, huh? - Right on my feet

Right on my big old stinking feet

See you later, File

- 6' tall and twice as handsome - Hey, Snookie

- Come on, Jimmy - Howdy do?

Jimmy, come on

When he says giddyup, you've got to go?

Snookie, don't be mad

Go on, Jimmy I ain't mad

6' tall and twice as handsome

- Hi, boys - Hi, File

- Hi, H C - Hiya, File

Riding over, you boys see any sign of rain?

Not a spit

What's it like at Sweet River?

How'd we know? We ain't been to Sweet River

The Sheriff said Lizzie's been to Sweet River

- Well, yeah - What's it like?

- Dry - How'd Lizzie like it in Sweet River?

- Fine She liked it fine - Yeah, she liked it fine

Three barn dances and a rodeo and a summer fair

- and larking all over the place - Yeah

File, how's your poker?

- My what? - Poker

- I don't care for poker very much, H C - You don't?

Don't you like Spit in the Ocean?

Gave up playing cards a long time ago, Jim

You did, huh?

What about

Hey, File, what's that hanging down from your shirt?

- That looks like a needle - Yeah, it sure does

What's the matter, your shirt tore?

Well, looks like it

- Fix it yourself, do you? - Sure do

I wouldn't say that, Jim

Been fixing my own shirts ever since I was a widower back in Pedleyville

Lizzie fixes all of my shirts

- Sure nice to have a sister - Or something

Yeah, Lizzie come back from Sweet River by herself?

Sure She went there by herself, didn't she?

That don't mean anything

I went over to Leverstown to buy myself a mare

Went by myself, but I came back with a mare

Well, Lizzie didn't go to buy nothing Get it, File? Nothing

Now, don't get ornery, Jim

- I just asked a friendly question - Sure, just a friendly question

- Don't get ornery - I always say to Jim:

"The reason you ain't got no real friends is 'cause you're ornery "

- You just don't know how to make friends - Sure, I do

- Sure, I do - No, you don't

You ever ask a fellow out to have a drink? No

You ever say to a fellow, "Come on home and have some supper"?

Yeah, I guess you're right I'm sorry, File I didn't mean to get ornery

- Come on out and have a drink - Supper

- Come on home and have some supper - I guess I'll say no to the supper, boys

I'd be glad to come out and have a drink with you

We don't have time for a drink

but we've been thinking that we'd have you over for supper someday

- I'd be glad to come one of these days - How about tonight?

I haven't got time tonight

Outlaw headed this way, fellow named Tornado Johnson

I got to stick around

You don't know he'll come this way, do you?

They say he's Three Point bound

He might be down at Pedleyville or Peak's Junction

- He might even be over at our place - I won't be over to your place

You said for me to be friendly I'm trying But he don't want to be friendly

I want to be friendly, Jim

I just don't want to be married

Who says we're inviting you over for Lizzie? You take that back

I won't take nothing back, Jim

Well, take something else

If I didn't think he had it coming

- I'd wipe you up good and clean - He had it coming

Yeah, I guess we all did

Come on, turtlehead Let's go home

- I'm sorry I hit him - That's all right

The only thing, you know, you lost that fight

- What? - Yeah

It wouldn't have hurt you to come to supper

- It might have done you some good - We weren't talking about supper

That's right We were talking about Lizzie

And she might have done you some good, too

I mend my own shirts

Seems to me you need a lot more mending than shirts

Wait a minute Don't drop a word like that and just leave it

All right What'd you hit him for?

- Threw a punch, I got mad - Why?

We come here and say we like you enough to have you in our family

Is that an insult?

- I'm doing all right by myself - You ain't doing all right by yourself

A man who won't make friends with a whole town that likes him

and looks up to him, he ain't doing all right

- And if he says he is, he's a liar - All right, take it easy

I said a liar, and I mean it

You talk about yourself as being a widower We all got respect for your feelings

But you ain't a widower, and everybody in this town knows it

I am a widower My wife died six years ago back in Pedleyville

Your wife didn't die, File She ran out on you, and you're a divorced man

But we'll all go on calling you a widower as long as you want us to

Heck, it don't hurt us none

But you, a fellow who shuts himself up with that lie

he needs mending

You want to throw any more punches?

You told File 7:00, I hope

We didn't tell him no exact time

Don't walk heavy or the lemon cake will fold

Don't let Jimmy mess up the table

- Lizzie - Answer the telephone, will you, Noah?

I'm changing my dress

Hello

No, this ain't Jim, it's Noah Who's this?

It's Snookie Maguire

- Hot dog - What exactly do you mean, "hot dog"?

- Just hot dog - What are you gonna say to her?

Well, I don't know what she's gonna say to me

You watch out

Hello? Hello, Snookie?

How's my 6' tall and twice as handsome?

I'm fine

I'm just fine and dandy How are you?

Fine and dandy?

I'm sure glad you're fine and dandy, too

- Fine and dandy, my big foot - What?

You mean it, Snookie?

I sure hope you mean it

Now, what's all this "you mean it" about?

She says it's a hot night and she's got her car out and her motor's saying:

"Chug, chug, where's little Jimmy?"

Well, you tell her, chug, chug, little Jimmy's gonna sit home

on his fat little bottom

Hello, Snookie I just can't tonight

Well, I don't know why, exactly Anyway, I can't talk right now

Snookie, you still wearing your little red hat?

Hello Hello, Snookie?

See that?

You go out with her once, she starts chasing you

I don't see what's wrong with that, Noah

- You don't? - No

People want to get together, they ought to get together Don't matter how, does it?

Now, you ask yourself it don't really matter

Go on, ask yourself, Jimmy

Well, maybe it does

Holy mackerel, I wish I could figure things out

- Where's Lizzie? - She's upstairs

Did you tell her?

Well, folks, how do I look?

Beautiful

- Fine, just fine - Beautiful

You know, Pop, I really think I am

If you don't look too close

I've decided to have beefsteak instead of kidney pie

I think men pretend to like mixtures

but what they really like is a plain slab of beefsteak

What time do you suppose File will get here?

Ought to know some time we can start eating

We can start anytime you say

Anytime?

- File's not coming - No

I see

Not that he didn't want to come He wanted to a lot

- He did, huh? - Well, sure

Pop said, "Come to supper tonight, File "

And when Pop said that

did you notice how his face kind of lighted up?

- Did you notice that? - Yeah

- Yes, sir File was real friendly - Friendly, huh?

- What happened to your eye? - Kind of swelled up on me

File hit him

You mean you fought to get him to come here?

It was only a little fight, Lizzie

Why didn't you make it a big one, a riot?

Why didn't you all just pile on and slug him?

- You're seeing this all wrong - I'm seeing it the way it happened

He said, "She might be a pretty good cook and it might be a tasty supper

"but she's plain She's as plain as old shoes "

He didn't say anything like that

He didn't say nothing about shoes

I'm sorry, Lizzie We made a mess out of it

If you'd have taken my advice, it wouldn't have been a mess

I don't like being right all the time, but for Pete's sake

Well, Noah, I'm stumped

Now, if you were Lizzie's father, what would you do?

Who says we have to do anything?

We've been pushing her around, trying to marry her off Why?

What if she don't get married? Is that the end of everything?

She's got a home, she's got a family She's got bed and board

clothes on her back, plenty to eat, everything she needs

- She ain't got what'll make her happy - She ain't gonna get it

- Because she's going at it all wrong - How am I? How?

Because you don't talk to a man the way you ought to You talk too serious

If there's anything that scares a fellow, it's a serious-talking girl

That's the way Lizzie is She can't be anything else

Yes, she can

She can to the social clubs on Wednesday nights

and giggle and flirt as good as any of them

What do you want her to turn into? Lilly Ann Beasley?

Lilly Ann Beasley gets any man she goes for

I saw her walk up to Phil Mackey one morning

and she wiggled her hips like a cocker spaniel and she said:

"Phil Mackey, how many toes have you got?"

And he said, "Well, naturally, I got 10 "

And she said, "Well, that's just the right number of toes

"for a big, strong man to have "

And pretty soon he was cooked

And he started following her around, and she got him so nervous

he bust right out with the shingles

Well, if she wants Phil Mackey, she can have him, shingles and all

How about that livestock fellow from Chicago?

Can I treat a man the way she treated him?

"Now, your polka dot tie I just adore men with a polka dot tie

"Those little round dots go right to my heart "

The poor fellow, the blood rushed out of his face

and I thought he'd keel over in the horse trough

I don't want to pick a man out of a horse trough!

I want him to stand on his own two legs

and I want to stand on mine without having to trick him

- Isn't that possible with a man? - No, it ain't

- Yes, it is, Lizzie - No

For once in his life, Jim said something sensible

If it's a man you want, you got to get him the way a man gets got

If that's the way a man gets got, I don't want any of them

No, dang bust File and a-rattle snatch all of them

Don't use that language

Rattle snatch, toad rump, stink drum, clod fetch every last one of them

Who opened that door?

Must have been the wind

Wind? Did you say wind?

There's not a breath of wind anywhere in the world

- Starbuck - That's the name Right the first time

- Lady of the house, hello - Hello

That's a mighty nice dress It ought to go to a party

Thank you

Don't you knock on a door before you come in?

- Who are you, anyway? - We met him on the range this morning

He come up to us and he said

What did you say?

I said, "What are you gonna do about them cattle?"

Listen, fellow

If you know we lost them cattle, you ought to know what killed them

- Drought Ever hear of it? - Ever hear of it? That's all I hear

Wherever I go, there's a drought ahead of me

But when I leave, behind me, there's rain Rain!

- I think this man's crazy - That's what I am, crazy

I woke up this morning, and I looked at the world and I said to myself:

"The world's gone completely out of its mind

"And the only thing that'll set it straight is a first-class, A-number one lunatic "

Well, here I am, folks, crazy as a bedbug Did I introduce myself?

The name is Starbuck, rainmaker

I read about a rainmaker I think it was Idaho

What'd you read, lady?

I can't remember whether they locked him up or ran him out of town

Might be they strung him up on a sycamore tree

Might be

Look, fellow, the idea is we don't believe in rainmakers

What do you believe in, mister? Dying cattle?

- You really mean you can bring rain? - He talks too fast He can't bring anything

I asked him Can you bring rain?

It's been done, brother It's been done

- Where? How? - How? Sodium chloride

Pitch it up high, right up to the clouds

Electrify the cold front, neutralize the warm front

Barometricize the tropopause, magnetize occlusions in the sky

- In other words, bunk - Lady, you are right

And you know why that sounds like bunk? Because it is bunk Bunk and hokey-pokey

And I tell you, I'd be ashamed to use any of those methods

What method do you use?

My method's like my name It's all mine own

- Care to hear my deal? - We're not interested

Not one bit

- Any charge for listening? - No charge Free

Go ahead What's the deal?

$100 in advance

And inside of 24 hours, you will have rain

- You mean it? Real rain? - Rain is rain, brother

It comes from the sky It's a wetness known as water Aqua pura

Mammals drink it, fish swim in it, little boys wade in it

and the birds flap their wings and sing like sunrise

Water, I recommend it

- Pay him the $100, Noah - Don't be a chump, Noah

- Don't worry, I won't - How would you do it, Starbuck?

Now, don't ask me no questions

Why? It's a fair question How will you do it?

What do you care how I do it, sister? As long as it's done

But I'll tell you how I do it I'll lift this stick and take a long swipe at the sky

I'll let down a shower of hailstones as big as cantaloupes

I'll shout out some good old Nebraska cuss words

You turn around and there's a lake where your ground used to be

Or I'll sing a little tune maybe

and it'll sound so pretty and sound so sad, you'll weep

And your old man will weep

And the sky will get all misty-like and shed the prettiest tears you ever did see

How will I do it, girl?

- I'll just do it - Where did you ever bring rain before?

What town? What state?

Sister, the last place I brought rain

is now called Starbuck They named it after me

Dry, I tell you Those people didn't have enough damp to blink their eye

So I get out my big wheel and my rolling drum

and my hat with the three feathers in it, and I look at the sky and say:

"Cumulus " I say, "Cumulus-nimbo Nimbulo-cumulus "

Pretty soon, way up there, there's a teeny little cloud the size of a mare's tail

Then up there there's another cloud looking like a whitewashed chicken house

And then I look up again, and all of a sudden

there's a herd of white buffalo stampeding across the sky!

And then, sister of all good people, down came the rain!

Rain in buckets, rain in barrels, flooding the gullies, filling the lowland

And the land is as green as the valley of Adam

And when I rode out of there, I looked behind me

and I see the prettiest colors in the sky

Blue, green, purple, gold

Colors to make you cry

And me? I'm riding right through that rainbow

Well, how about it? Is it a deal?

- Well-- - Pop, no He's a liar and a con man

Yup, that's what he is all right A liar and a con man

It hurts me to hear you say that, mister Well, so long to you

- So long for a sorry night - Wait a minute

- You said I was a con man - You're a liar and a con man

but I didn't say I wouldn't take your deal

- Pop! - I didn't say I would, neither

Pop, you ain't gonna throw away $100!

How would I write it in the books?

Write it as a gamble, Noah

I've lost more than that in poker on a Saturday night

You get an even chance in poker That's a crazy reason

I'll give you better reasons, Lizzie girl

Take my deal because once in your life you've got to take a chance on a con man

Take my deal, because there's dying cattle that might pick up and live

Because $100 is only $100

but rain in a dry season is a sight to behold

You've got to take my deal because it's gonna be a hot night

and the world goes crazy on a hot night, and maybe that's what a hot night is for

Starbuck, you got you a deal

I tell you, I knew I had a deal the minute I walked in this house

- How'd you know that? - There's four of you

and five places set for supper

And I says to myself, "Bill Starbuck, your name's written right across this chair "

Come on, let's eat

Anything doing?

Phil Mackey said the Curry boys came by

Says he saw Jim Curry come out of here wearing a black eye

Tell Phil Mackey to mind his own business

- And me to mind mine? - Well

If you want to take time off and run down to the Curry ranch

and say you're sorry or something and

I'm not apologizing to anyone

Might be a little easier on the phone, huh?

- The number's five-five-ring-three - I'm not interested in the number

Hello? Oh, yeah

This is his deputy

We've got the description of him, but we need a picture

No, I haven't seen him Somebody thought they saw his wagon

Yeah, well, send us a picture soon as you can, will you?

Okay, thanks Bye

Five-five-ring-three

Never mind, Operator

$60, $70

$80, $85

- I'm against this, Pop - Keep counting, Noah

$90, $95, $100 There's your $100

- Thank you, Noah - Don't thank me Thank him

I'm writing that down in my books, $100 thrown away

No, don't write that Write it like this Say:

"On August 27

"a man came stomping through our doorway

"We bid him time of night

"We fed him a supper fit for a king

"and we gave him 100 honest notes

"in the fair government of these United States of America

"In return for that hospitality, he did us one small favor He brought rain "

- You got it? Write it - I don't see no rain yet

- I still got 23 hours to bring it - Well, you better get busy

Yeah, Starbuck, you better knuckle down

All right What kind of rain would you like?

- You mean we can choose our kind? - Why, sure, you can choose your kind

And there's all kinds There's mizzling and there's drizzle

But you wouldn't want that I give that away as a free sample

There's trickle and there's sprinkle

That's for little flower gardens of little pink old ladies

There's rain with hail and rain with thunder

There's flash flood and storms that roll down the shoulder of a mountain

But biggest of all, that's deluge Don't ask me for deluge

- That takes quite a bit of doing - What kind do we get for $100?

You choose it, I'll bring it

He brags so loud, he gives me a pain in the neck

If you all act like she does, it's gonna make it tough for me to do my job

because when there's suspicion around, it's a dry season

I don't doubt it

Look, folks, making rain, it takes a lot of confidence

If you have doubts about me, I get doubts about myself

I see

If you don't bring rain, you're gonna blame it on us

We didn't have confidence

What I mean is, I may need some help

Well, I'll help you So will Pop

How about you, lady? Any confidence?

- No confidence - We don't need her, Starbuck

- Now, come on What's the first step? - All right

What I'm gonna ask you to do, it ain't gonna make much sense

but then what's sensible about a flood or a hurricane?

- Nothing - That's right

What I want you to do

you see that little old wagon of mine out there?

On that wagon, I got me a big bass drum

Somebody is got to beat that drum

- Beat it? What for? - Don't ask questions

- And don't get sensible - That's right, Jimmy

- Now, who's gonna beat that drum? - Me, I'll beat it

Jim, you're gonna be my first lieutenant

You go out there, and every time you get the feeling, you beat that drum three times

- Low, like thunder You get it? - Got it

- When do I start? - Mister, you've started

Hot dog

You pay close attention In that wagon of mine, I got me a bucket of white paint

It ain't ordinary white paint, it's special

It's electro-magnetized, oxygenated, de-chromated white

I want you to go out there and paint a great, big white arrow

pointing away from the house

That's so the house don't get struck by lightning

Well, that sounds reasonable

Now, it's too bad that you don't have a mule on the place

- We got a mule - You have? Well, that's great

That's just dandy

Get a length of rope, go out there and tie the hind legs of that mule together

What? Tie the hind legs of a mule? What the heck for?

Now, please You got to do like I ask you

- I ain't gonna do it - Come on, Noah

Well, I'll be

Tie the hind legs of a mule!

Pop, wait I've been sitting here keeping my mouth shut

wondering how far you'll go in letting this man make a fool out of you

He can't make me any more a fool than I make out of myself

You're making a big fool out of yourself Where's your common sense?

Common sense?

You mean, go along with this fellow halfway, huh?

Well, I can't do that, Lizzie I got to take a chance on him

The whole chance

Without being afraid of getting hurt or getting cheated

getting laughed at As far as he'll take me

White arrow, did you say?

- A white arrow - I'll paint it

Mister, you're gonna get your money's worth if it's the last thing I do

- Don't get nervous, boy - I ain't Not a bit of it

That's fine Confidence

Attaboy, Jim Beat that drum Make it rumble

I bet you feel real proud of yourself

Kind of proud, sure

You're not satisfied to steal our money

You have to make jackasses out of us

Why'd you send them out of there on those fool errands? Why? What for?

Maybe I sent them out so I could talk to you alone

- What? - You heard me

Then why didn't you say it straight out:

"Lizzie, I want to talk to you alone, man to man"?

Man to man, Lizzie?

Excuse me, I made a mistake You're not a man

- Lizzie, can I ask you a question? - No

I'll ask it anyway

What are you fussing with the buttons on your dress for?

- Fussing? I'm not - Let them alone

They're all buttoned up fine, as tight as they'll ever get

It's a nice dress, too Brand-new, ain't it?

You expecting somebody?

None of your business

Woman gets herself all decked out, she must be expecting her beau

Where is he? It's getting kind of late

I'm not expecting anybody

I see You were, but now you ain't

Stand you up?

Mr Starbuck, you've got more gall--

Let go of me

When I walked into this house, you didn't like me Why?

- I said, let go - You didn't like me Why?

Why'd you go up on your hind legs like a frightened mare?

- I wasn't frightened - You were

- Of you? Of what? - I don't know

Mares get scared by lots of things

- Fire, lightning, the smell of blood - I wasn't scared, Mr Starbuck, I was mad

You paraded yourself in here, you took over everything

I don't like to be to taken by a con man

- Get out of here - No

I'm sick and tired of this

I'm tired of you queering my work, calling me out of my name

I called you what you are, a big mouth, liar, and a fake

How do you know I'm a liar? How do you know I'm a fake?

Maybe I can bring rain

Maybe when I was born, God whispered a special word in my ear

Maybe he said, "Bill Starbuck, you ain't gonna have much in this world

"You ain't gonna have no money and no fancy spurs

"no white horse with a golden saddle

"But, Bill Starbuck, wherever you go, you'll bring rain "

Maybe that's my one and only blessing

There's no such blessing in the world

I seen even better blessings, Lizzie girl

I got a brother who's a doctor

You don't have to tell him where you ache or where you pain

He just walks in and he lays his hand on your heart

And pretty soon, you're breathing sweet again

I got another brother who can sing

and when he's singing, that song is there and never leaves you

I used to think, "Why I ain't I blessed like Fred or Arnie?

"Why am I just a nothing man with nothing special to my name?"

And then one summer comes the drought

And Fred can't heal it away, and Arnie can't sing it away

But me, I go down to the holler

and I look up, and I say:

"Please, rain

"Please, please, bring rain!"

And the rain came

and I knew I knew I was one of the family

That's a story

You don't have to believe it if you don't want to

I don't believe it!

You're like Noah You don't believe in nothing

- That's not true - Yes, it is

You're scared to believe in anything

You put on the fancy dress and the beau don't come

So you're scared nothing will ever come You've got no faith

- I've got as much as anybody - You don't even know what faith is

I'm gonna tell you

It's believing you see white when your eyes tell you black

- It's knowing with your heart - And I know you're a fake!

Lizzie, I'm sad about you

You don't believe in nothing, not even in yourself

You don't even believe you're a woman

And if you don't, you're not

Jimmy, quit that

Don't you feel foolish beating that drum?

Should I?

Lizzie thinks I'm making a jackass out of you

Is that what you think?

You said beat the drum and it'd bring rain

I'm beating it

Just because I said so?

Because you said so

What was that?

Sounded like thunder

No

too regular

Why don't you take a run down and see the Curry girl?

I don't want to go down and see her Just stand there like a stick?

- Don't stand! Sit down! Talk! - I don't know how to talk to her!

Make up conversations, they all jam up in my head

Flush them out

- Get going! - All right!

- Mind if I take an hour off? - Take two hours!

- Take all night! - An hour is all I can stand

Look at you, you'd think you never painted anything in your life

- I didn't see the bush - What bush?

I was painting backwards and suddenly there was

that darn bush and I bumped, and the paint

slopped all over everything

What are you limping about?

- Mule - Kick you?

Bad or good, a mule's kick is a mule's kick!

For Pete's sake! Come in here and quit beating that drum

- I think he enjoys it - Sure

he got the easiest job of all of us

Holy mackerel, Pop Your face is all over whitewash

Jimmy! Quit that!

He said to beat it every time I got the feeling

But, Jimmy

if you'll just try to resist the feeling, we'll all appreciate it

Holy mackerel, Pop Your face is all over whitewash

It is?

Why don't you wash up? You look foolish

You don't look so bright, yourself, toting that drum

What am I gonna do with it?

For the love of Mike, don't be so dumb

Don't call me that, Noah

What are you doing in Lizzie's linen chest?

Starbuck asked if he could spend the night in the tack room and I said yes

Figured I'd get him something to sleep on

Sure stressing yourself to make him cozy, aren't you?

Why not?

- I like him - Funny, me, too

If he wanted to sell you a bill of goods

He didn't sell me a bill of goods He gave me some good advice

- I'm gonna take it - What kind of advice, Jimmy?

About Snookie

What'd he tell you?

I said to him, "What do you think of a girl who wears

"loud clothes and puts lip rouge on her mouth

"and always goes around in a little red hat? Is she fast?"

And you know what he said?

He said, "Never judge a heifer by the flick of her tail "

- Sounds like sensible advice - I think so

I told you he'd sell you a bill of goods

I understand that crack, Noah

You mean he was trying to make me feel smart, and I ain't

- Shut up - I won't shut up

What the devil's got into you?

I just found something out, Noah

You know, the only time I feel real dumb?

When I'm talking to you Now, why the heck is that, Noah?

Hello, who?

He's not here

- Who was that? - Who else would have all that gall?

Snookie

Come on, that phone call was for me Why'd you hang up on her?

Save you the trouble

If she calls me on the phone

you don't have to tell her I ain't here I can do that myself

How can you, yourself, tell her you're not here? Talk sense

Maybe it don't make sense, but

- well, you dang well know what I mean - Listen, Jimmy

if you want to get yourself in hot water

all you have to do is lift that phone and call her right back

That's right, Jimmy That's all you have to do

- Stay out of this - I'm just agreeing with you, Noah

You can call her right back, Jimmy

Go on, kid, go on

- I don't have her telephone number - Call the operator

- Starbuck, let me alone - Lizzie, tell him to make that call

Starbuck, we'd all thank you not to interfere in our family

- What's this thing doing here? - For Starbuck

Jimmy was gonna take them out to the tack room, if it's all right

Yes, it's all right Go on, Jimmy

I don't want to now

You shouldn't have

- done that to him, Noah - Somebody's got to do it

- I think you liked doing it - No, I didn't!

For Pete's sake, somebody take this family off my hands

I don't want to run it

You don't have to run the family, only the ranch

- They're both tied up together - There's a difference, Noah

You let them live, people pay off better than cattle

Don't be so proud of the way you let us live, Pop

Just look at her and don't be so darn proud of yourself!

What does he mean, Lizzie?

I don't know

Don't pay any attention to him, Pop

Noah's hinting that I made some big mistake with you, Lizzie

Did I?

Of course not

I'm perfect Everybody knows I'm perfect

A very nice girl Good housekeeper, bright mind

very honest

So darned honest, it kills me

"You got to get a man like a man gets got "

That's what Noah said Now, isn't that stupid?

It's not even good English

- Don't think about that, Lizzie? - Think about it?

Why, I wouldn't give it another thought

You know what that Starbuck man said to me?

What, Lizzie?

Why repeat it? A man like that

You go repeating what people like that have to say

Can a woman take lessons in being a woman?

You don't have to take lessons You are one

Starbuck says I'm not

If Starbuck don't see the woman in you, he's blind

Is File blind?

Are they all blind?

I'm sick and tired of me

I want to get out of me for a while, be somebody else

Go down to the social club and be Lilly Ann Beasley

is that what you want to be?

Lilly Ann Beasley knows how to get along

You better call her on the telephone, ask her to let you join up

I will You'll see if I don't

And I'm gonna get myself a lot of new dresses

cut way down to here

And I'll paint my mouth so it looks like I'm always whistling

Fine, go ahead Look like a silly little jackass

Won't be me looking silly, it'll be somebody else

You've got to hide what you are

You can't be honest

You wouldn't know how to be anything else

Wouldn't I?

You think it's hard It's easy

Phil Mackey

How good-looking you are

That curly blond hair, the pearly white teeth

Can I count your teeth? One, two, three, four

Oh, no, don't tickle

or little Liz is gonna roll right over and--

- Good evening - Hello, File

Come in

Kind of late

- Hope I'm not disturbing you - Oh, no

That's all right We were just

I don't know what we were doing But come on in

Hello, Lizzie

- Hello, File - No let up on the drought, is there?

Just none at all Excuse me, Pop

I got to thinking about that little fuss

I had with Jim, about his eye

- and I wanted to apologize I'm sorry - You said that this afternoon, File

- I didn't say it to Jim - That's right, you didn't

- He's upstairs I'll send him right down - Oh, Jim!

- Jimmy, can you come down-- - That's all right, Lizzie

I was going up anyway

Would you

- Do you care for a cup of coffee? - No, thank you I already had my supper

- Yes Yes, of course - I didn't mean to mention supper

I just You know

- How about some nice cold lemonade? - No, thank you

I make lemonade with limes

I guess if you make it with limes, you can't

- call it lemonade, can you? - You can if you want to

But it's really limeade, isn't it?

Yeah, that's what it is Limeade

- That's what it is, all right - You call me, Lizzie?

- Hey, File - Hi, Jim

My, that's a bad eye I came around to tell you I'm sorry

Don't think nothing of it, File Bygones is bygones

Glad to hear you talk that way

File's here, huh?

Yes, sir, he sure is

Wouldn't you like to sit down or something?

No, thank you

Guess they both knew I was lying

Lying? About what?

I didn't come here to apologize to Jim

What did you come for, File?

To get something off my chest This afternoon, your father

Well, there's a wrong impression going around town that I'm a widower

- but I'm not - I know that, File

I know you know it, but I've got to say it

I'm a divorced man I've been denying it Now I admit it

That's all I want to say

- That squares me with everybody - Does it?

Yes, it does From here on in

if I want to live alone all by myself, it's nobody's business but my own

Wait a minute You're dead wrong

Wrong? How?

- Well, it's everybody's business - How do you figure that, Lizzie?

Because you owe something to people

- I don't owe anything to anybody - Yes, you do

- What? - I don't know

Friendship

If somebody holds out his hand toward you

- you've got to reach and take it - What do you mean, I've got to?

Got to

There are too many people alone

and if you're lucky enough for somebody to want you

for a friend

it's an obligation

This isn't something

the two of us can settle by just talking for a minute

No, it isn't

It'll take some time

Yes

- You here, File? - I guess I'm here

I'm just going up to get my feed book

- What were you saying? - What were you saying?

You were telling me about your divorce

No, I wasn't But I will

- She walked out on me - She did?

For the schoolteacher He was from Louisville

Kentucky?

Was she

- I guess she was beautiful - Yes, she was

That's what was afraid That's what I thought

Black hair

Black hair is pretty, all right

The schoolteacher, darn it Ran off with a schoolteacher

What was he like?

He had weak hands and nearsighted eyes

He always looked like he was about ready to faint

She ran off with him And there I was

Maybe the teacher needed her and you didn't

- Sure, I needed her - Did you tell her so?

- No, I didn't Why should I? - Why should you? Why didn't you?

I won't ask for anything

But if you'd asked her, she might have stayed

I know darn well she might have

The night she left, she said: "Tell me not to go, tell me don't go "

- And you didn't? - I tried, but I couldn't

- Pride - If a woman wants to go, let her go

If you've got to hold her back, it's no good

- If you had to do it again - I still wouldn't ask her to stay

Just two words, "don't go," and you wouldn't say them?

It's not the words, it's begging And I won't beg

You're a fool!

Whatever am I doing

getting so serious with you, File?

Because I should have known better

because whenever I do, I put my foot in it

Because being serious, that's not my nature

I'm really a happy-go-lucky girl, just like any other girl

- Would you like some grapes? - No

- Thank you - They're very good

And so purpley and pretty

We had some right after supper

I wish you'd been here to supper

I made such a nice supper

I like to cook

There's only one thing I like better than cooking

and that's reading a book Do you read very much?

Only the legal circulars that come from Washington

Washington, what a great man

Don't you think that Washington was a great man?

- Father of our country - Yes

And when you think of all he went through, all that suffering

when you think of it, Valley Forge, all those bleeding feet

I don't think about it much

No

of course not

My, what a nice tie

I just die for men in black silk bow ties

- It's silk leather - No

I wouldn't have believed it It looks so real

- It looks so real - Real's fake

And when you smile, you've got the strongest, whitest teeth

- Now, quit that - What?

Now, quit it Stop sashaying around like a dumb little flirt

- Black silk tie, strong white teeth - Oh, no

What do you take me for? What do you take yourself for?

- I was trying to-- - Don't be so ridiculous

Be yourself

I was only trying to--

- Holy smokes - What's happened, Lizzie?

- Holy smokes - Never seen a man run so fast

- Where's he going? - What'd he do, run out on you?

Were you watching the show?

- Did you think it was lantern slides? - What'd he say?

- What'd you say? - Not one sensible thing

- I couldn't even speak to him - But you were talking

No, I was sashaying around like Lilly Ann Beasley

- I was making a fool of myself - Now, don't blame yourself, Lizzie

- It wasn't your fault - No, it wasn't her fault

And it wasn't File's fault You darn well know whose fault it was

- You mean it was mine, Noah? - Yes

She's got to face facts! And you've got to help her face them

- Stop telling her lies - I never told her a lie in my life

You've told her nothing but lies She's the smartest girl in the world

she's beautiful, and that's the worst lie of all

You know she's not beautiful, she's plain!

- You quit that, Noah! - And you go right along with him

I'm the only one that loves you enough to tell the truth

- You're plain! - Noah, you quit it

Go look at yourself in the mirror You're plain!

Stop that

- Starbuck, let me go! - Wait outside, Jimmy

- Let me go - Get outside!

Sure, I'll get out I'll get out and never come back!

Next time that kid goes at me, I'll

Next time, I'll see that he has fighting lessons

- Clear out of here! - I won't clear out!

And you're gonna quit calling him a dumbbell

because he's not

He can take a little hickory stick and see magic in it

You wouldn't understand It's not in your books

- I said, clear out! - And don't you ever call her plain

Because you don't know what's plain and what's beautiful

Starbuck, this is family

- It's not your fight! - Yes, it is

I've been fighting fellows like you all my life And I always lose

But this time, I swear, this time

I'm sorry I hit Jim And I'll tell him so

I ain't sorry for a single word that I said to her

- That's enough - No, it ain't enough!

You better think about what I said

Nobody is gonna come riding up here on a white horse

Nobody's gonna snatch you up in his arms and marry you

You're gonna be an old maid

The sooner you face it

the sooner you'll stop breaking your heart

Old maid

Forget it, Lizzie

Forget everything he said

No He's right, Pop

I've known it a long time

But it wasn't so bad until he put a name to it

Old maid

Why is it so much worse when you put a name to it?

- You've got to believe me - I don't believe you, Pop

You've been lying to me

and I've been lying to myself

- Lizzie, honey, please - Don't, Pop, don't

I've got to see things the way they are, and the way they will be

I've got to start thinking of myself

as I am Old maid

Jim will get married

and one of these days, even Noah will get married

I'll be the visiting aunt

I'll bring presents to their children to be sure I'm welcome

and Noah will say:

"Junior, be kind to your Aunt Lizzie Her nerves aren't so good "

And Jim's wife will say, "She's been visiting here a whole week

"When'll she ever go?"

Go where?

Lizzie, you'll always have a home

- This house will be yours - House

Oh, Lizzie, stop it

My skin's hot all over

And when I touch it, it's cold I'm all tied up

My clothes are tying me up I can't move in my clothes

- Lizzie - Pop, help me!

Tell me what to do Help me!

- Who is it? - Just me, Lizzie

Jimmy meant to give you this Here

- Well, what is it? - Bed stuff

Jimmy meant to give it

- Take it - Thanks

- Is that what you came out for? - No

I came out

Go on, Lizzie

I came out

to thank you for what you said to Noah

I meant every word of it

What you said about Jimmy, I know you meant that

- What I said about you - I don't believe you

Then what are you thanking me for?

You scared if you stopped being sore at me, you might like me a little?

Then stay and talk with me It's lonely out here

What are you afraid of?

You I don't trust you

Why?

- What don't you trust about me? - Everything

The way you talk, the way you brag, even your name

- What's wrong with my name? - Sounds fake

- Sounds like you made it up - You're darn right I did make it up

- There, of course - Why not?

Do you know what name I was born with? Smith

Smith, for the love of Mike Smith

Now, what kind of a name is that for a fellow like me?

I need a name with the whole sky in it and the power of a man

Starbuck

- Now, there's a name and it's mine - No, it's not

You were born Smith and that's your name

You're wrong, Lizzie

The name you choose for yourself

is more your own than the name you were born with

And if I was you, I'd sure choose another name than Lizzie

- Thank you I'm very pleased with it - No, you ain't

You ain't pleased with anything about yourself

And you sure ain't pleased with Lizzie

- Why, it don't stand for anything - It stands for me

I'm not Lady Godiva, I'm not the Queen of Sheba

I'm not Cinderella at the ball

Would you like to be?

- Starbuck, you're ridiculous - What's ridiculous about it?

Dream you're somebody Be somebody

But Lizzie, that's nobody

There are so many millions of wonderful women with wonderful names

Leonora, Desdemona

Annabella, Pauline, Florinda

Christina, Cordelia, Diane

Lizzie

Goodnight, Starbuck

Just a minute, Lizzie

I got the greatest name for you The greatest name

Now, you just listen

- Melisande - I don't like it

But that's because you don't know anything about her

Lady, when I tell you who she was

- Who? - Why, she was the most beautiful

she was the beautiful wife of King Hamlet

- You ever hear of him? - Go on, Starbuck

He was the fellow who sailed across the ocean

and brought back the Golden Fleece And do you know why he did that?

Because Queen Melisande, she begged him for it

I tell you, that Melisande

what a queen That Melisande

she was so beautiful, and her hair was so long and curly

why, every time he looked at her

he just fell right down and died

And King Hamlet, he'd do anything for her, anything she wanted

So when she said:

"Hamlet, I've got a terrible hankering for a soft Golden Fleece "

Why, he just naturally sailed right off to find it

And when he came back

torn and bleeding

he took that fleece of gold and he laid it at her pretty white feet

And she picked up that fur piece, and she wrapped it around

her pink naked shoulders and she said:

"I've got the Golden Fleece and I'll never be cold no more "

Melisande, what a woman What a name

Starbuck, you silly jackass

You take a lot of stories that I've read in a hundred different places

and you roll them up into one big, fat ridiculous lie

- I wasn't lying I was dreaming - It's the same thing

If you think it's the same thing, then I take it back about your name

Lizzie, that's just right for you

I'll tell you another name that would suit you Noah

Because you and your brother, you've got no dream

You think all dreams have to be your kind

Golden Fleece and thunder on the mountain

But there are other dreams, Starbuck

Little quiet ones that come to a woman when

she's shining the silverware and putting moth flakes in the closet

Like what?

Like a man's voice saying:

"Lizzie, is my blue suit pressed?"

And the same man saying, "Scratch between my shoulder blades "

And kids laughing and teasing and setting up a racket

And how it feels to say the word "husband "

There are all kinds of dreams, Mr Starbuck

Mine are small ones like my name, Lizzie

But they're real, like my name

Real

So if you can have yours, then I'll have mine

- Lizzie - Please

- Stop crying - I can't

- I'm sorry, Lizzie I'm sorry - It's all right Let me go

I hope your dreams come true I hope they do

They won't They never will

- Believe in yourself and they will - I got nothing to believe in

- You're a woman, believe in that - How can I when nobody else will?

You've got to believe it first

Lizzie, let me ask you, are you pretty?

No! I'm plain

There's no such thing as a plain woman Every real woman is pretty

They're pretty in a different way, but they're all pretty

Not me When I look in my looking glass

- Don't let Noah be your looking glass - He's not

My looking glass is right on the wall

It's in the wrong place It's got to be inside you

- No - Don't be afraid Look

Then one day, the looking glass will be the man who loves you

It'll be his eyes, maybe

And you'll look in that mirror, and you'll be more than pretty

- You'll be beautiful - It'll never happen It'll never be

Make it happen Lizzie, why don't you think pretty?

- And take down your hair - No

- Please - No

Nobody sees you Nobody but me, Lizzie

Now, close your eyes Close them

Now say:

"I'm pretty "

- I can't - Say it, Lizzie Say it

- I'm pretty - Say it again

- Pretty - Say it, mean it

I'm pretty

Why did you do that?

Because when you said you were pretty

it was true

Lizzie, look at me

- I can't - Stop crying and look at me

Look at my eyes

What do you see?

I can't

- believe what I see - Tell me what you see

Is it me?

Is it really me?

Thank you, Howard I'm sorry I woke you up

If you hear from Jimmy, you call me right away

No, nothing's wrong Thanks, Howard

- Jimmy get home yet? - Nope

Goofy kid

After midnight

Go back to sleep, Noah

- Don't worry about him - I ain't worried about him

- I don't give a darn what happens to him - Okay, fine

If you'd have seen my side of this, it wouldn't have happened

I see your side, Noah I just ain't on your side

- Good evening - Where the devil you been?

Out

- What's wrong with you? You drunk? - No, big brother, I ain't drunk

But if I cared to be drunk

- I'd be google-eyed - Jimmy, where did you get that stogie?

This ain't no stogie, Pop It's a Havana panatela

- 85 cents And it's a present - Who the sam hill gave it to you?

I the sam hill gave it to me for being a big boy

- You didn't say where you've been - No, and I don't have to

But I will

I've been out with my favorite gal, Snookie

- You crazy, dumb little-- - Don't say dumb no more, Noah

Or I shall take this 85-cent Havana panatela, and I shall squash it

- right in your mean old face - What happened, Jimmy?

Can't you see what happened?

He went riding with that Snookie Maguire

she got him all het up, and she trapped him

- Big brother, you got it all wrong - Don't lie to me, Jimmy Curry

The minute I stop looking after you, you got yourself into trouble

When I tell you what really happened, you're gonna split your britches

We went riding

That's right

We opened that old roadster up and we went 40 million miles an hour

And then we stopped that car and we got out

and we sat down under a great, big tree

And we could look up through the branches

and see the sky all full of stars

And I turned around and I kissed her

I kissed her once, I kissed her a hundred times

And while I was doing that, I knew I could carry her anywhere

right straight to the moon

And all the time, I kept thinking:

"Noah's gonna come along and he's gonna say, 'Whoa ""

But Noah didn't show up, so I kept right on kissing

And then something happened

She was crying and I was crying

and I thought any minute now we're gonna be right up there on the moon

And then

without Noah being there

all by my smart little self

I said, "Whoa!"

- Yippee! - Thank you, Pop

- Your yippee is accepted - I don't believe a word of it

Why did she give you the hat?

For the same reason I gave her my elk's tooth

- We're engaged - So I was right

- She did trap you - Don't listen to him, Jimmy

- Congratulations - Thanks, Pop

Thank you very kindly

I got to tell Lizzie Where's Lizzie?

Where the blaze you think she is? She's asleep

- I'll wake her up - Wait, Jimmy

- Lizzie's not up there - Where is she?

- Yeah, where is she, Pop? - She's out in the tack room

- You mean with Starbuck? - Yup

Well, boy, that's great! I got another cigar for Lizzie

Wait a minute

You mean you let her walk in on that fellow when he's sleeping?

- You didn't even try to stop her? - No, I didn't

You called her an old maid

You took away the last little bit of hope she ever had

And when you left, she took those bed covers and ran out

I didn't ask her where she was going, but I'm glad she went

'Cause if she lost her hope in here, maybe she'll find it out there

Yeah, I think it's great them being out there together

They might get real serious about each other

and before you know it, I got me a new brother

And boy, I'd swap him for you any day

You won't have to swap him 'cause he ain't the marrying kind

- Not that faker - I bet he is the marrying kind

- I bet he is - All right, suppose he is

- What do you think a rainmaker makes? - Rain

What's that?

- Hi, H C - Hiya, File

- Hey, File - Hi, Jim, Noah

Kind of late to be visiting, ain't it, File?

Ain't exactly visiting

- How's Lizzie? - You come calling on Lizzie?

- No - Then what can I do for you?

I tell you, we've been getting a lot of calls from Peak's Junction, all along the state line

Seems they're looking for a fellow

He's kind of a con man, name of Tornado Johnson

- She asleep? - Who, Lizzie?

Yeah, I guess she is

- You get any wind of him? - Who?

- Tornado Johnson - No

Come here, I'll show you

Tornado Johnson

alias Bill Harley, alias Bill Smith He's wanted in the State of Kansas

Drummed up a lot of excitement about

what he called a spectacular eclipse of the sun

Peddled about a thousand pairs of smoked eyeglasses to see it with

No eclipse

About a year ago, he sold 600 wooden poles

said they were good against tornadoes

The town he sold them to

town got hit by every kind of a blow you could imagine

Hailstorm, rainstorm, windstorm, a hurricane

Moved the tornado poles right of the roof Blew the town off the map

- Did it ever get hit by a tornado? - No, it didn't

That's all he guaranteed That it wouldn't get hit by a tornado

- and it didn't - Yeah

Don't sound to me like he done anything criminal, File

- Does sound like a con man, don't it? - Maybe, if you say so

But I'm sorry, I can't help you

Whose drum is that there?

Mine

I'm figuring to be a drummer

- Who painted the arrow - I did

- Any particular reason? - No, just like to paint arrows

Whose wagon's there?

I'll have a look at that wagon, H C

Noah, where you going?

- Noah, what are you doing? - Why'd you do that?

Why didn't you tell him, "He's in the tack room with my daughter?"

- Because he's with my daughter - All right

I didn't tell on you or lie and I stood by you, but not anymore

I'm going out to the tack room and bring her in

- And I'm gonna bring him in, too! - No, wait!

Put that down

You want Lizzie out there with him?

He's a swindler and a crook, and I don't know what else

I'll tell you what else, Noah He's a man

Pop's right Getting married is getting married

You always say the smart thing at a dumb time

I'm all for her getting married I don't care who the fellow is

- Is that the way you think? - You know it's not

- Then I'm going - Stay here!

But it ain't right, Pop! It ain't right!

Noah, you're so full of what's right, you can't see what's good

It's good for a girl to get married, sure

But maybe you were right when you said she won't ever have that

She's got to have something

Lizzie has got to have something

Even if it's only one minute

with a man talking quiet and his hand touching her face

And if you go out there and put one little dark shadow

over the brightest time of Lizzie's life

I swear, I'll come out after you with a whip!

Now, you give me that gun

Did nobody ever kiss you before I did?

Yes, once I was about 13

There was a boy with freckles and red hair

and I thought he was the beginning of the world

but he never paid me any mind

One day, he was standing around with a lot of other boys

and suddenly he shot over to me and he kissed me hard

right on the mouth

And for a minute, I was so stirred up

But then he ran back to the other boys

and I heard him say, "I'll kiss anything on a dare

"even your old man's pig "

So, I ran back home, and I looked at myself in the mirror

and from that day on, I knew I was plain

Are you plain, Lizzie?

- No, I'm beautiful - You are

And when I leave, don't you ever forget it

I'll try to remember everything

you ever said

You think I'll ever get what I'm after?

I don't really know what you are after

I'm after a clap of lightning

Why is it the things you want are only there for the blinking of an eye?

Why don't nothing stay?

Some things stay forever

Like what?

You fall in love with somebody

Not me I don't expect it'll be me

just somebody

And you get married and have kids

And if you do, you'll live forever

Sure would like to live forever

Maybe you don't take the time to know things

Always on the run Here, there, nowhere

Running away Keeping your own company

Maybe if you'd keep company with the world

- I'd learn to love it? - You might

If you saw it real

I ain't got the time

Then you ain't got

no world except the one you make up in your head

So you've got to be satisfied with that

I got something to tell you

You were right I'm a liar and a con man and a fake

I never made rain in my life

Not a single raindrop, nowhere

- Not anywhere at all - I know

All my life, wanting to make a miracle Nothing

- I'm just a great big blowhard - No

No, you're all dreams

And it's no good to live in your dreams

It's no good to live outside of them

Somewhere between the two

Yes

I'd sure like to live forever

Lizzie, would you

Would you like me to stick around for a while?

- Did I hear you right? - Not for good, you understand

Just for a few days

- You're not fooling me, are you, Starbuck? - No, I mean it

Would you stay? Would you?

- A few days, yes - Oh, my goodness

I can't stand it I just can't stand it

You look up in the sky and you long for a star

And you know you'll never get it

Then one night, you look down and there it is, shining in your hands

I'm going in

- I'm gonna tell them you're staying - I'll go with you

No I want to tell my father by myself

- I think I saw a wisp of a cloud - You're seeing things

No, just the smallest wisp of a cloud floating across the moon

- no bigger than a mare's tail - You're talking like Starbuck

Yes, I am

- Where is he? - In the tack room

Why don't you comb your hair?

I like it this way

I've got no more pins

- But I've got something else - What, Lizzie?

Pop, I've got me a beau

Have you, honey?

Not an always-beau, but a beau for meanwhile, until he goes

Pop, the world's turned clear around

Why don't you tell her, Pop?

Tell me what, Pop?

Tell me what?

You were right about that fellow

- He's a liar and a con man-- - There's nothing bad about him, he's good

He's good, and he's so alone

He's so terribly alone

- Lizzie, come here - What?

Look

What's he here for? What's he doing on that wagon?

- Pop - He's getting evidence, Lizzie

- He's here to lock him up - No

- Stay here, Lizzie - He has no right to arrest him

- I'm afraid he has - We've got to help him

Now, Lizzie, quit it There's nothing we can do for him

- Not for him, for me - For you, Lizzie?

I don't think he knows who you are

I think he just dreamed you up in his head

No

He sees me as real as you do

Do you believe that, Lizzie? Do you think he sees you real?

Answer me

Yes, he does

All right, then you better help him get away

No, Lizzie, no I'm not gonna let you do that

- Let me go - Let her go, Noah

- You're awake - Hello, File

- They told me you were asleep - Did they?

- Excuse me - Where you going?

- Nowhere - Wait, what are you rushing off for?

I was just wondering what you were doing on the wagon?

Where you going, Lizzie?

On the wagon

I don't want this family mixed up in trouble

- Now, tell me where that fellow is, please - He left about an hour ago

- Where'd he go? - Pedleyville

- How'd he go? The wagon's still here - He took Jim's horse

That's it, he took my horse

What's going on here?

I ask you questions, you tell me a pack of lies

And for what?

A stranger, a man who don't mean anything to you

Or does he?

Maybe you better answer that question

Wait a minute They said you were asleep

and you weren't Why were they lying? Where were you?

It's got nothing to do with you It's got a lot to do with me Now, tell me

Starbuck! Go away!

- Run! - Lizzie, stay here

Starbuck, run

What's going on?

Sheriff You're under arrest

If you hadn't have been singing, you'd have heard me

I never regret singing

All right, get in the car

- Wait a minute Let him go - What?

- Let him get away - I can't do that, Lizzie

Here, look at that bulletin

We don't have to look at that We've been looking at him

- It's all I got to go by - You've got us to go by, File

We spent the evening with this fellow

We took a chance with him You take a chance with us

Give up, folks

A sheriff's a sheriff, and he can't see any further than his badge

Is that true, File?

Let him go Please

Ain't heard a word from you, Noah

Be a lot of people around here who'd think I broke the law, right?

Nobody I know of

All right, get going Get out of here

- Well, I'm a son of a gun - Go on

Lizzie, it's lonely as dying out there

Will you come with me?

- Starbuck - I'm talking to you, Lizzie

- Come on - Lizzie, don't go!

What?

What did you say?

I said, don't go

- What'll I do? - Hurry up, Lizzie, please

What am I going to do? Pop, what am I going to do?

Whatever you do, remember you've been asked

You don't never have to go through life a woman who ain't been asked

I'm sure asking, Lizzie Lizzie, listen

You're beautiful now But you come with me

and you'll be so beautiful, you'll light up the world

- Don't say that - You'll never be Lizzie no more

You'll be Melisande

- Starbuck, you said the wrong thing - Melisande?

What the devil does that mean? Her name's Lizzie Curry

It's not good enough Not for her

- It's good enough for me - Come on

No

I got to be Lizzie

Melisande is a name for one night

But Lizzie can do me my whole life long

Sorry about the rain, boys But then, I didn't stay my full time

So here's your $100

Another day, maybe, in a dry season

So long, folks

Starbuck, wait!

Thank you, File

Thank you

You got your hair down

Yeah, she sure has changed

Jimmy, for Pete's sake, stop beating that drum

I ain't beating no drum

It's lightning

Lightning!

- It's raining - Yes, it is

Rain!

Rain! Yippee!

He said 24 hours!

Hey, it's Starbuck!

Rain, folks! Rain!

For the first time in my life, rain!

- Give me my $100 - Give him his $100, Noah!

- Thanks, Starbuck - So long, beautiful!

Rain!