Original subtitles

This isn't what it looks like.

You're not holding two drinks

in your hand and getting a BJ?

You wanna breathalyze me? Go ahead.

Fuck.

I bet it's a DUI. Ben doesn't drink.

Well, sponsee, I think you might

wanna open your eyes a little wider.

What the fuck are you doing

not telling me my ex-wife's

getting married?

I didn't want you to freak out.

Why would you think I would freak out?

Why the fuck are you still going to Memphis' wedding?

I was invited.

It doesn't mean anything to you

that I told you that I'm still in love with her?

I know, man, but I already RSVP'd.

I promised Memphis that I would be there.

And I prefer not to break my promises.

Yeah? You promised me you'd stay sober.

When did I do that?

When you became my sponsor, you said:

"Loudermilk, I promise that I will

do everything I can to help you stay clean,

including lead by example."

Oops.

"Oops"?

That's what you fucking got?

I'm sorry. Okay?

I've been very, very stressed out,

and I got weak. It happens.

That doesn't mean that you

should start drinking again too.

Well, like I could

after that Tony Robbins pep talk.

I don't know, you know.

Maybe finding out about this wedding is a--

Was a godsend or something.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure God was all about

you breaking and entering into my safe.

Breaking or entering? I live here.

I didn't have to break into your safe.

I was able to crack

your Da Vinci Code- level password, "Benn".

Oh, ha-ha-ha. That's good.

All right. So I'll pack my bags.

Is this a formal wedding?

No, you know, T-shirt and flip flops.

It's like a Jimmy Buffett vibe.

Of course it's formal.

Not that it matters in that you're not invited.

Well, I might wanna break in and stop the thing.

I don't to be underdressed.

Oh, fuck me.

Now what?

We're gonna have to take what's-her-name.

Why? You worried she's gonna sleep in one of our beds?

She's only been sober for a couple months, man.

She'll be mainlining before we start the car.

I didn't even think about the bed thing.

Come on.

Is that how it's gonna be now?

You're gonna drink in the apartment?

All right.

I'm sorry, you're right. No more drinking...

...in the apartment...

...while you're home. We cool?

♪ Oh, the North Sea sings "Won't you come to me, baby?" ♪

I still don't get why I had to come too.

It's too early in your recovery for you to be left alone.

Besides, I need somebody watching Ben while I tinkle.

You sure it's okay to just ditch the group?

I'm not ditching the group.

What? New Guy is gonna cover for me.

New Guy? Yeah.

Why that asshole?

Because by the time I get back,

they'll be so happy to see me they'll forget I ditched them.

I know that Loudermilk

usually begins by mocking everybody.

And sometimes that can be cute and disarming.

But I prefer the Cornell way of really--

Hey, where is Loudermilk?

That's kind of a secret.

We're not supposed to tell Father Mike.

I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to tell you.

Obviously if he told your silly ass, you could tell us too.

You know, I was thinking that too, but then I realized,

I'm the one he asked to lead the group in his absence.

So he probably holds me in a higher esteem.

He just picked you

because he knew you were a power-hungry little fuck,

who would wet his pussy at the mere thought

of running this shitty--

Hey, first of all, I don't have a pussy.

I have a penis just like you.

Prove it.

What?

I'm serious.

Find some tweezers,

and do your best to locate it...

and pull it out.

A-and we'll all get as close as we can.

And we'll-- And we'll squint

to try to see what you're talking about.

Yeah, yeah, you're not gonna need tweezers, buddy.

You're gonna need a spatula.

And besides, I'm not gonna show you

my penis, and you know why?

Because my voice proves it.

Doesn't my voice prove I have one?

Not really.

Are you fucking serious?

I can't drink in the car now either?

Come on.

Dude, it's a really long drive,

and you know I'm an alcoholic. Please.

That's bad in front of me,

but there's a delicate flower in the back,

who's at an extremely impressionable age.

Ben's been drinking his ass off for the last two weeks.

If he just quits cold turkey, he might get the DT's.

You knew that he was off the wagon?

Looks like you're the only one who didn't know, Sherlock Homo.

"Sherlock Homo."

All right, all right, all right.

Can we agree you're not gonna drink behind the wheel?

You know, you really are a control freak, man.

B-by the way,

I'm the only one out of the three of us

who still has a license.

So I make the rules. Cheers.

Great. What if we get into an accident?

Huh? Or--

Is that--? Or that?

Oh, my God. Oh, that guy's--

Good boy. Okay, okay.

Great.

I'm going to jail...again.

Don't worry. The only person going to jail

is the drunk driver.

You've been driving pretty erratically

over the past couple miles.

Oh.

Is that right? I'm sorry about that.

Have you been drinking?

No, officer. When my father used to drink,

he would beat my mother.

And I swore I'd never take a drop of alcohol

in my whole life, and I never have.

Oh.

Sorry.

Well, just slow down, okay?

I don't know why we were going so fast anyway.

I mean, we're all in such a rush to go nowhere, right?

I mean, where are we all going? How are we gonna get there?

What gonna happen to us, you know?

Like, "Who's up there?" I don't know.

Right?

What the fuck was that?

What? I was just improvising a little.

I trying to help you out.

Okay, well, this isn't

the fucking Groundlings, okay?

I had that.

That was a shitty thing

to lie about, Ben.

You're gonna get bad karma for that.

Oh, okay. So let me get this straight:

Would it have been better

if it were true, and my father

did beat my mother?

Yeah.

You make me sick.

Come on, man. We gotta go in here?

Yes. You've been driving for seven straight hours.

We're not missing meetings.

Oh, yeah, meetings are so important.

I've been going for years.

Look how I turned out. Hey.

You had a relapse.

You gotta get back in there and open up.

Talk about whatever it is that set you off.

Yeah, I've been having flashbacks

of Daddy hitting Mommy.

What the fuck is going on with you?

I don't know. Nothing. Everything.

Life. You know, it's never just one thing.

Look, are you sure you want to go in?

Looks like we're walking

into a Ku Klux Klan bake.

They're alcoholics. We're all the same.

Don't be elitist, man.

You're-- Wait, hold on.

You're calling me elitist? You?

I'm only elitist about music.

And coffee, facial hair, serial commas, dim sum, hats.

You're particular about hats. Fine.

I'm elitist, fine.

I'm not fucking elitist about this.

All right, this is recovery. That's the great equalizer.

Anybody who's battling addiction has a story worth telling.

You know, your wife dumps you,

y-y-you play a lot of games with yourself,

where you-- You try to--

You know, you magnify all of her flaws.

Like, her tacos were soggy.

She couldn't punctuate.

You know, I mean, I'd come home to a note that would say:

"Honey, I'll be home at 5, comma, I love you."

I-it's two fucking sentences.

Anyway, that's--

It's all bullshit.

Right? You're just trying to con yourself into thinking

that you're better off without her,

and it's time to move on, but I--

But I can't.

You know what, man, I don't get you.

I mean, you lost Memphis four years ago.

Why is this just hitting you now?

Because until now there's always been hope.

I mean, once she marries some other dude...

that's it. It's over.

Hey, you ever try picturing her...

taking a real stinky shit?

That always works for me.

No.

You really surprised me in there. I mean...

You don't even share like that with your own group.

I felt safe, I guess. I don't know.

I mean, I don't know them.

I don't give a shit what they think.

Well, I had no idea you were still so hung up on Memphis.

I told you I was.

When I talk, do you not listen to me?

I drift in and out. Oh.

Seriously though, man, that was some heavy shit.

I mean, maybe this wedding is the last thing you need to do.

What are you talking about?

Listen, this is the real world, not a movie.

And in the real world, brides don't

back out of their own wedding.

This trip could kill you, Sam.

You know what?

Fuck New Orleans. Why don't we go

somewhere fun, like Miami or LA?

We'll find ourselves some new chicks.

Look.

I know in my gut that if I just

look her in the eye and tell her how I feel,

she's gonna realize that she feels the same way

and call the goddamn thing off.

So that's what I gotta do.

Hey, group is in session. Take your seats.

Yeah, we'll take our seats

as soon as you show us

your clit already. Ha, ha.

Very funny. I don't have a clitoris.

I get way hotter chicks than any of you.

You think that's funny? You don't believe it?

How many of you were this close to dating Rihanna?

Just 'cause you played the skin flute thinking about Rihanna

doesn't mean you're gonna date her.

Oh, yeah. Make your jokes.

But, you know what, I'm the one

who's gonna tapping her, not you.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. You're talking Ri-Ri?

Rihanna, the singer?

Come on, the one that's in Annie? That Rihanna?

Yeah, Rihanna.

I donated a lot of money to her causes.

She finally agreed to follow me on Twitter.

I'm gonna ask her out this week.

Are you back on meth?

Hey, she might say yes.

Stranger things have happened.

Really? Like what?

They cloned a sheep.

That don't beat that.

Deal me in. What you got?

Where the hell is Loudermilk?

Oh, I'm in charge.

He's away for an hour.

For an hour?

Okay, three days.

He left the group for three days,

and he didn't tell me?

Sounds kind of bad when you say it that way.

You know, in fairness to him, Father,

he did have an important ceremony to go to.

A funeral?

Actually, it was a wedding.

Loudermilk abandoned this group

to go to a wedding?

Put out the goddamn smokes.

It's a goddamn historical landmark.

Why the fuck you throw Loudermilk

under the bus, ass chin?

I didn't.

Yeah, you did. You ratted him out.

What are you talking about? You saw it with your own eyes.

Father Mike verbally water-boarded me.

Snitch!

You gave the keys to my room

to an obsessive compulsive meth-head fuck,

so you could go to a wedding?

Hey, hey, hey. Language. Come on.

I thought you took your responsibilities here seriously.

I do, this is--

Look, I'm not just going to bang bridesmaids, okay?

I'm going after the bride.

This is a serious dereliction of conscience and duty,

to abandon people who depend on you being there.

It's the-- It's the last straw.

I'm taking the room away from you.

And I'm gonna give the room to somebody who cares.

I don't get a second chance?

You ran out of second chances five chances ago!

Don't bother coming back here!

Hello?

Shit.

Shit, man. Did he just take your group away from you?

Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry, man.

Hey, it's probably a good thing.

I mean, most of the people in that group suck, right?

Except for Cloud a-and Cutter.

Where the fuck has Cutter been lately anyway?

I'm gonna take Mom and scamper out here for a walk.

Make sure Mama Bear's motor faculties are okay.

You gonna be okay in here by yourself?

No.

- Can I please go home now? - Why?

So you can be reunited with your two besties:

booze and heroin.

I'm not going home. I'm going to my goddamn job.

Don't you take the Lord's name in vain,

you ungrateful cocksucker.

Yeah, that would be a real tragedy of justice,

you not being able to come up with some catchy slogan,

so more people can drink themselves to an early grave.

For me, it would.

Don't go snooping around.

I have better things to do than snoop.

Like what?

You're triple locked in a trailer,

and the TV don't work.

Damn, suddenly, I feel bad.

First 200 pages are slow, but stick with it.

No, no, no.

I don't know why, but I always end up

dating guys who treat me bad.

They're either abusers...

or cross-dressers.

Not that all cross-dressers are bad.

The guy I dated...

he used to pee on me.

I don't know.

Maybe I just deserve guys that treat me bad.

Hey, Marika.

You know that is not true.

There is a goodness in you that lifts all of us every day.

Don't let the bad people diminish the good in you.

What the fuck are you doing?

I'm sorry, new friend.

Do you disagree with the counsel that I'm giving?

Why the fuck are you drinking in a meeting?

Oh, we don't speak at decibel 10 in here, friend.

Um, we never like to go above a five, actually.

What is wrong with you?

Excuse me, sir, could you back off?

He was talking to me.

You okay with him drinking?

Judge not, lest ye judge yourself.

No, let's judge, okay?

You're a doormat. Don't be.

Stop dating assholes who pee on you.

You, stop drinking in a meeting. You're not supposed to do that.

Oh, don't dump your liberal bullshit on me, okay?

This isn't about politics.

I happen to know what I'm talking about, okay?

I'm a leader myself. Was a leader.

"Was"? Uh, what, did you get canned? Ha.

No, what? Because I took

a couple of personal days off, I'm not a--

You abandoned your group?

I didn't abandon anybody.

I left them with New Guy.

Yeah, yeah, he's been sober for like, what? Two weeks?

- It's more than him. - And you're judging me?

You know what, I had my relapse.

Like, six months ago.

And believe me, the last thing I thought

I should do was to walk in here.

But then I realized...

if I don't have the strength to help myself...

I might still have the strength

to help those who depend on me.

So unlike you, Mr. Selfish,

I came to these meetings

because the word "abandon"

is not in my personal vocabulary.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Excuse me, uh, ahem.

Would you mind if I had a little--

Just a skosh of the, uh--?

Oh, you want a drink? I would love one.

I just relapsed myself.

My name's Ben, by the way.

Russell, what's going on? Okay.

- Nice to meet you. All right. - Sure is.

Ugh. Here we go.

Not bad. Ben.

We were driving forever. Mr. Selfish didn't want to--

Ben. Okay. All right.

Hey, cheers, huh? Oh, yeah, cheers.

Good luck, everybody.

♪ I'm on the highway

♪ And I need a change

♪ Gotta find my happiness

♪ It went missing again

♪ Following The river road ♪

♪ To the banks of Maurice

♪ That's where I find it

♪ That's where it is

♪ Oh, some people Gotta get with you ♪

♪ But I can't help it If I get the blues this way ♪

♪ Oh, this way

♪ Yeah, I know I gotta Tell 'em 'bout that time... ♪

You sure you got enough? You still got six hours to go.

No, I know. I was thinking the same thing.

But I don't want them to get warm. So, you know...

Unless I get a cooler...

I thought it'd be smarter

to just pull over later and get more.

I was kidding.

♪ I got on the radio

Right.

Yeah, get those

and rub them under your arms

every half an hour or so.

Rub them under yours.

Snappy comeback.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

I want you to keep an eye on him.

Dude, he's a grown-ass man.

He can take care of himself.

And then he goes, "I'm just joking."

Because he thought it was too many.

Just make sure he doesn't piss on the floor

or wander into traffic.

License or no license,

I'm driving from now on.

Yeah. All right.

Let me get this one. Beautiful.

Where is he?

Who? Ben.

How should I know?

You're supposed to be watching him.

Okay, assignment Nazi.

I had to go too.

You were in there for, like, 20 minutes.

So you didn't see where he went?

He's probably still in there.

He's not. Check the bathroom.

I just came from the bathroom.

Jesus Christ.

Ben.

Ben?

- Watch your step. - Okay, baby.

Sweetie, come on.

Oh, Mommy's good girl. Sweetness.

Love you. Let's go lay down.

We'll go to bed now.

How's Mom?

Why don't you ask her yourself?

You think because she's old, she's not a human being?

Not a person?

No.

You looking at my scrapbook?

Oh, yeah.

I, uh-- It's mine.

What? It's just pictures of you hanging out with a buddy.

That wasn't just a buddy.

That's Ollie.

My sponsee.

And he's dead 'cause of me.

Cutter, you can't blame yourself

when someone else decides to do...

whatever they're gonna do.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can.

I was always on his ass.

Trying to do the best I could, just like...

I do with you.

And then, one day, he had a slip.

I got so mad 'cause he didn't go to a fucking meeting with me.

And then I said:

"You want it your way, big shot, go ahead.

Go ahead and s-- See where it gets you."

An hour later, I got the call.

Uh...

An hour later, I got the call.

You did the best you could.

I mean...

you can't control everything that somebody does.

I mean, shit, we can't even control what we do.

I could've did more.

What more could you possibly have done?

You can't control someone 24 hours a day.

I mean, unless you...

handcuff someone to your trailer and...

that's not the answer.

I'm sorry.

Hey, hey, it's okay. Uh--

At least I understand why you're so extreme with me.

We gotta get you home.

Really?

You sure he's gone?

Positive. We've been searching for him for two hours.

But you said his car is still here.

That's right.

Well, how could he be gone if his car is still here?

Uh...I don't understand the question, I guess?

But that's kind of my point.

That's how I know something is wrong

is because his car is here, and he's not.

Maybe he hitchhiked somewhere.

Left you the keys on the front tire.

People do that around here all the time.

Why would he hitchhike when he has a car?

I don't know.

Maybe he wanted to get away from you...

but he didn't wanna leave you in a lurch.

Did you check the front tire?

L-look, he loves that car, okay?

He would never, ever hitchhike somewhere and leave the car.

If he was trying to ditch us, he would take the car,

and he would leave us to hitchhike.

Well, he doesn't sound like much of a friend

if he'd do that.

So why do you care if you find him?

No, because he didn't-- That's a hypoth--

He didn't do that, okay?

Look, I-I'm really afraid

something bad has happened, you know?

Like he wandered into the woods and passed out.

Or he got hit by a truck or something.

He'd been driving for a bunch hours.

A-and he was pretty drunk, by the time we pulled over.

Whoa, whoa, wait a second.

You let your friend drive drunk?

Um...

Yeah, I-I lost my license.

And so did she, so that's--

I ought to arrest you.

For what? For being an enabler? You can't arrest me for that.

Hm.

Touchee, sir.

Touchee.

"Touchee"?

"Touchee"?

Do you mean "touché"?

Yeah.

Home run, huh?

Wow. Are you gonna show me?

You crushed it, right?

"Crushed it"?

No, I didn't crush it.

How was I supposed to crush it

when you had me locked inside a trailer,

when I should have been preparing?

It was a fucking disaster.

It took me 15 minutes to explain

why I had dental floss in my forehead.

You should've told them it was an antiseptic.

That's great! Yeah, no, next time, I'll bring you in.

So you can ruin my life in front of everybody.

Whoa, whoa, don't bite my head off.

It's like you said back at the trailer,

you can't control everything.

"Everyone." I-I said

you can't control everyone.

Things you can control.

L-like doing great at a pitch meeting,

that's a controllable thing,

if you have the fucking time to prepare.

Aw. Fuck!

Fried chicken, order up.

♪ You can lay down And die ♪

Ben, where the hell are you?

Okay, everything's fine, but I was kidnapped.

What?

Yeah, I walked out,

a guy ambushed me and forced me into his car.

Okay, where are you? I'll call the police.

No, no, no. Look, that won't be necessary.

I got him talking about his childhood and shit.

He feels bad now. I think he just wanted company

driving to New Orleans.

I'm sorry, y-you're in New Orleans?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, of all the places

this guy wanted to go, New Orleans.

And, um, you know, it's got me thinking

that maybe you're right.

Maybe God is behind all this.

I don't-- I-I'm not following that at all.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you take my car, drive back to Seattle.

How am I gonna do that? I don't have the keys.

I put them on the front left tire.

For fuck's sake.

Yeah, Ben, listen, okay?

I'm on my way. I'm coming to you, all right?

Just-- You gotta do me a favor though, all right?

I need to you to talk to Memphis.

Me? You want me to talk to her? Yeah, yeah.

You know, I need you to grease the wheels a little bit.

Okay, sounds good. Look, I gotta go,

but you could probably--

Hello, Memphis.

Hello, Ben.

♪ Hey, baby, You know it's true ♪

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ Babe, but you never ♪ Never gonna be what I want

♪ No, you're never gonna be ♪ Never gonna be what I want

♪ Yeah, all the shotgun lovers On the avenue ♪

♪ Yes, it's true He's much too old for you ♪

♪ Babe, but you never ♪ Never gonna be what I want

♪ No, you're never gonna be ♪ Never gonna be what I want

♪ I know sometimes Everyone wants to be someone ♪