Original subtitles

This is Estonia.

Estonia, what's going on? Can you reply?

Mayday! Mayday!

Are you coming to assist?

It's looking very bad right now, very bad.

The Estonia was no ordinary accident.

It was a devastating disaster of unseen proportions,

that claimed many lives and left many casualties.

The ferry disaster is the worst tragedy to hit the Nordics since World War II.

852 people lost their lives.

760 of them are still at the bottom of the sea.

The Estonia capsized and sank in minutes. How could this happen?

Putting the Estonia tragedy behind us without knowing what really happened,

is completely absurd.

My son lies somewhere in the Baltic Sea,

but no one can tell me why.

To this day, I still don't understand why the boat sank.

What happened to the Estonia?

The cause of the disaster was apparently

incorrect closure of the bow visor.

There were explosive charges onboard.

The investigation board wants to hide...

...that the official explanation is false.

This is no longer just a tragedy. There's something more to it.

The investigation appears deceitful.

It is the responsibility of the State, to investigate the cause,

but if the general opinion is a need for further explanation,

then that has to be respected.

More young journalists should go out again,

and take the chance of diving as long as the wreck is there.

Wow... It seems like we have a law enforcement ship waiting for us.

Nothing should be stopping young journalists

from doing their own investigation.

What are your intentions?

We are a documentary team making a film about the Estonia disaster.

The Finnish coast guard reports possible breaches

of the sanctity of the grave at the site of the Estonia wreck.

We can't just forget about 850 lives lost without knowing the whole truth.

I won't get peace until I know the truth.

Sooner or later, the truth will come out.

Wait. What the hell?

Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

The weather in Tallinn was lovely that day.

Autumn had set in somewhat earlier than in Stockholm.

I had just turned 20 in September that year.

I went to Estonia to visit my father, who worked there.

I decided to travel back home the day before,

because I needed to get back to work, at one of the extra jobs I had then.

My colleague had received two free tickets.

He asked me if I wanted to join him,

to see what it was like there after the liberation from Soviet rule.

In 1994, I was an adventurous Christian girl going to Bible school.

We were going to Estonia, which was a traditional school trip, I believe.

It was exciting. My first proper trip abroad.

I had just become a father.

My daughter Wilma was just a few months old.

This was the first time I was away from home for a longer period.

I was onboard the Estonia, attending a conference.

I spent a lot of time on the ship while it was docked.

I remember arriving at the port.

I was amazed at the sheer size of the ship.

The ferry was quite large at around 150 metres.

To Estonians, this was something new.

As Estonians, we were very proud

that we now had such a modern and beautiful ferry.

It was a symbol of how far we had come in just a few years,

being able to present a ferry like this

to people visiting Estonia for the first time.

My father drove me to the boat that afternoon.

We called my mother from the parking lot.

He had this enormous mobile phone.

She was worried about me crossing the Baltic sea with the strong winds.

"Storm warning:

"Gulf of Finland, North Baltic Sea, Sea of Ĺland, Archipelago Sea.

"Tomorrow: Westerly or North Westerly storms, 21 metres per second."

I drove my truck onto the ferry.

I drove through the front. The bow visor was open.

When I exited the vehicle, I was told to put on the hand brake.

I couldn't see anything else being done to the vehicles.

None of the cars were tied down, despite the strong winds.

A good while before the trip to Estonia was planned,

Hjřrund's mother called me, asking if Hjřrund could come with me.

Hjřrund really wanted to. He told me he wanted to come with.

I had no reason to say no to him.

But I've thought a lot about, after the fact,

what if I had said no?

Our cabins were on the lowest level.

Right down below the car deck.

They were tiny, cramped cabins.

Four beds, no windows. Nothing else.

That's how it is when you travel cheap.

I remember walking around, thinking it was quite difficult to navigate.

It wasn't immediately obvious how to get about.

It was a confusing layout. Lots of narrow corridors.

So I decided to stay the night in the cafeteria,

rather than the claustrophobic cabin below the car deck.

As soon as the ship left the harbour in Tallinn, we were in open waters.

The boat began to sway quite a bit.

I ran into some friends from work.

We decided to go to the karaoke bar.

There were some bar stools available.

But the boat was swaying so much that we couldn't sit on them.

Admiral's Pub, it was called.

It's karaoke night at the Admiral's Pub.

We heard that the first couple to sing gets a free drink,

so my friends thought:

"Great, we'll do the first song, and get the free drink."

Non-alcoholic of course!

We decided on the gospel song "Oh Happy Day".

There were a lot of people in the pub.

We thought it was great fun.

And of course, we got a free drink! That was the goal.

After that, I said goodnight to them. Then I went down to my cabin.

That was the last time I saw my classmates.

Around 10 PM we decided to go to bed.

My colleague has arranged separate cabins.

The reason for that is that he snores so much,

so he thought I would sleep better alone.

We said good night. My colleague went to his cabin starboard side,

and I went to my cabin port side.

It was about 12 o'clock at night.

I heard a digital watch go "beep, beep". So it was 12 o'clock.

Just after midnight, there were two extremely loud bangs.

It sounded like the vessel was ploughing through ice.

What really woke us up, was when the ship suddenly started to list.

My bed started to tilt.

All of a sudden it's tilted this much. It's tilting and not righting itself.

I'm not one to run outside without clothes on,

but my natural instinct made me run outside

in nothing but my boxer shorts.

As I rounded the corner, I see water coming in,

rushing in along the bulkhead.

I don't know where the water came from, but I hurried up.

The listing continued to worsen.

All the glass on the tables was sliding off and smashing around.

I told my colleagues that we have to leave the vessel. Quickly.

As I rushed upstairs, I remember hearing an alarm ringing constantly.

Bottles were being smashed in the duty-free store on deck five.

Suddenly, right in front me, a drink dispenser crashed into the wall.

A guy was yelling, "Everything is fine!"

I remember saying, "Screw him, this is not fine!"

Silja Europa, Viking Estonia.

- Estonia, Estonia. - Mayday! Mayday!

Estonia, Silja Europa. Are you calling mayday?

Estonia, what's going on? Can you reply?

Yes, we have a problem. We're listing badly, 20 or 30 degrees.

Could you come to our assistance, and also ask Mariella for help?

Yes, the Mariella probably got the info. Please give me your position.

We have a blackout and we... I can't tell you right now...

OK, we'll take necessary actions.

Reaching the exit was difficult.

I felt that she was listing so much, I wasn't sure we would make it.

I remember lots of people around, and they were frozen, not moving.

I remember one person standing on a couch, just screaming.

I could see that she was screaming, but I couldn't hear anything.

We were on the deck where you board the ship.

So we were in a large, open hallway.

The exit out onto the deck is at the end of the hallway.

That's where we're headed.

There were a lot us, all holding on to the rails.

If you lose your grip, you fall down and die.

As we were standing there,

a girl lost her grip on the rail in front of me.

She flew past me, very fast, hit her head and kept on falling.

I remember thinking, "I don't want to see this."

I saw the hand rail fixture, that it was loosening.

There were about 30 of us holding on to it, for dear life. It was...

But there was someone, lying on the outside of the ship,

reaching down and pulling people up.

We heard screaming in the stairwell.

We tried to help them up.

Maybe twelve people managed to get out.

Without help, we would not have made it.

Then almost all the lights on the lifeboat deck went out.

I saw a ship far away.

I understood how serious the situation was.

It was a matter of life and death.

I decided I wasn't ready to die just yet, at the age of 26.

I still had my whole life to live.

I decided to do everything I could to survive.

Silja Europa, Estonia.

- Estonia, Silja Europa. - Are you coming to assist?

It's looking really bad right now.

The question wasn't if, but when we would end up in the water.

Someone was trying to release the lifeboats.

But the ship was listing too much. The lifeboats were stuck.

The ship kept listing more and more.

Until it was all the way on its side.

We were standing on the wall, I could see the funnels in the water.

It was an unbelievable sight.

As the ship rolled onto the side, I managed to climb over the railing,

onto the side of the ship, which by now was a level floor.

It felt totally surreal.

This is not how you walk on a ship. We were walking over the cabin windows.

We didn't want to look or even think about what was in there.

I've never felt more afraid in my life.

I felt the fear to the tips of my fingers.

It was cold and painful, and you could feel the metal against your body.

I was only wearing boxer shorts.

As I was sitting there, I saw pinpricks of light on the horizon.

They were ship lights.

Then I remembered my camera in my pocket.

I used the flash to signal where I was.

In the flash I couldn't see anyone around me on the boat.

But when I got the photo back, I saw a person sitting there.

- Mariella, Silja Europa. - This is Mariella.

- Hello. Can you see the Estonia? - No, but I can see a red flare.

Yes, we see it on our starboard. We're heading there now.

My radar shows an echo about five miles south of me.

OK.

That's where the flare is. We're about five miles out.

Affirmative.

Large waves started washing over the ship.

That's when the captain sounded the horn.

That meant it was time to abandon ship.

I saw two girls in front of us.

One of them asked the other one to hold her hand,

as they went down towards the water.

My colleague wanted us to get in the water.

I said no, we need something to float on.

The water was cold. We wouldn't last very long.

The waves started getting closer and closer.

Finally, she said it again, "We have to jump in".

I grabbed her hand and jumped.

I remember going quite far under.

I could feel my trousers being pulled down.

In spite of the life jacket and my best efforts to swim upwards.

Something hit me on the head, and I let her go.

I reached the surface.

She was gone.

I quickly realised that I was stuck and going down with the ship.

I tried my best to free myself, but I couldn't.

I thought about my mother. I panicked. I thought...

It can't happen that my parents and my sister have to go to my funeral.

I thought about what I'd learnt at school, was it all for nothing?

Suddenly, a lifeboat from the Estonia came floating up.

They are released under a certain amount of pressure.

I swam towards it.

We floated away from the ship,

and I started feeling sick in the life raft.

I leaned out to throw up, and I saw the ship sinking.

I saw the bulb sticking out high above the surface.

The bow looked like a church tower, sticking out of the sea.

I tapped on this man's shoulder and pointed at the ship.

He looked at it and said, "A lot of people are dying now."

I suddenly felt I could get hold of some ropes,

and it was pitch black around me.

After a while

I realised I was underneath an upside down life raft.

And I suddenly heard and felt that...

Someone was climbing up onto the underside of the raft.

I was eager to let them know I was there.

I started thinking that if there's a rescue mission,

they might forget that I'm under there.

I didn't want that to happen.

We're slowing down now here.

Mariella is slowing down. I didn't catch what you said.

There are a lot of lights. There seems to be a lot of lifebuoys

and buoy lights around, maybe lifeboats too.

They're in the sea? OK, we're closing in slowly.

- You don't see a boat? - No, there's no boat here.

We quickly realised the life raft was upside down.

We couldn't put the roof up, and water was pouring into the raft.

I quickly realised that I could freeze to death,

or easily be washed over the side of the raft.

I saw that many people were washed over during the night.

Quite soon boats started arriving, searching with searchlights.

We have stopped here now and are very close.

It felt really good to know that people knew what had happened,

and that help was on its way.

But I also understood that it was quite difficult and dangerous.

We risk running over people. Should we go around the side?

It's hard to say where to go.

It might be best to stay in the centre of the area and drift there.

We got quite close to the Viking Mariella.

People in the raft started screaming, "Help, help! Can you see us?"

It's was really dangerous for a small rubber raft to run into a huge boat,

or into the propellers. I felt very uncomfortable.

We will inflate some rafts and lower them down.

In case someone can get hold of them.

Yes, that's the only option under the rough conditions.

We were far from being rescued. I realised it would take quite some time.

We're sending a helicopter from Turku.

They will land on your deck. Prepare your helipad for landing.

Two helicopters from Sweden will come as well.

Got it. We'll prepare the helipad.

We will prepare our helipad, too.

We're preparing the helipad on the Symphony.

We will also prepare our helipad.

- Our helipad is ready. - Good.

I was shaking all night, freezing awfully. My teeth were chattering.

At some point during the night, I suddenly heard a death scream.

A terribly long death scream that suddenly stopped,

and after that we didn't hear any more sounds or voices.

It was the only death scream I heard, but I will remember it forever.

While sitting in the raft that night,

a huge wave came and pushed the roof down.

One man panicked.

He shouted that we had to cut the raft open with a knife.

The man became more confused.

He finally lost consciousness quite late that night.

I grabbed him and pulled him towards me.

I held his head above water. I wasn't going to let him drown.

In the end, he just went stiff. He was no longer alive.

So I pushed him away...

And let him lie in the raft.

He can just stay there. That's alright.

There are many floating people in the life raft.

Life and death is a very fine line.

There was no difference between life and death.

When morning came, I was very tired and very cold.

We all sat up to our waist in water.

We had been there for six, six and a half hours.

I was so tired, sinking further and further into the water.

I nearly fell asleep.

I started thinking that there's no point keeping this up, I'll just...

I'll let go and float into the sea.

But then I remembered my nine month old daughter at home.

She needed her dad a lot longer than just nine months.

"No, you can't do that! You have to do all you can to get home again."

I started hearing what sounded like helicopters.

But then I thought that helicopters won't fly in this wind.

But they were helicopters.

The wind from the rotors was dreadful.

It made water droplets feel like nails being thrown at you.

But it was a fantastic feeling being hoisted up.

When the helicopters finally were above us,

it felt like I just couldn't hold on any longer.

They had to get us out of there. I was so incredibly tired.

I shouted at the others when we heard the helicopters,

not to forget that I was under there.

Suddenly, there was this huge rumble.

And then we had a helicopter above us.

We couldn't hear each other anymore when we spoke.

It's incredible that someone took a picture of this.

I'm lying in the middle, almost naked, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts.

I'm still not sure if I'm going to survive.

I had no energy left.

Of course, I'm glad the picture was taken,

because you can see how terrible this accident was.

It felt brutal that young people should have to give up their lives,

that they wouldn't get to say goodbye to anyone.

That people all alone in the dark would have to...

We are ready to receive people here.

The conference room has been prepared.

That's good. OK.

After a while, I felt a banging on the bottom.

It was a rescuer who had located me.

After just a while, he cut open the bottom with a knife.

He said I could come out. I know I was just holding on.

I pulled myself close to him and received a big hug.

That was the first thing that happened.

Then he put the harness on me, and I was hoisted up.

I go up last, and...

It's a moment of elation.

It's not up to me anymore, I've got people who can look after me.

I was so happy. Incredibly happy to be saved.

I was feeling very emotional.

8It's hard to describe.

We're coming directly from the area with six survivors from lifeboats.

We had to come back. We ran out of fuel.

Injured, dead and people in shock are brought to the hospital in Ĺbo.

Helicopters have been taking turns all day.

There are six-seven helicopters in the area, and many vessels.

The people out there are extremely hypothermic.

It's really rough out there, with six to ten metre high waves.

They will definitely not all make it.

In the last few hours, we have found only dead bodies.

But we will continue and try to find everybody.

My colleague... I asked in the helicopter if they could give me any news,

but they couldn't, of course.

It wasn't until I got home

that I understood that he wasn't among the survivors.

Everyone had been identified, and their names released in the papers.

His name turned up among the deceased.

Most of the deceased are still down there,

and so is he.

When school began again after this,

the classroom was very empty.

We rearranged the room.

We couldn't have a normal classroom layout,

when 13 chairs were empty.

12 people left Sweden for the conference, but only 3 made it back.

Hjřrund Setsĺs Pettersen, 6 years old.

Maybe I didn't say often enough that I loved him.

I said it every now and then, but I don't know if I said it enough.

I'm not sure if I ever told him what a great boy he was.

"To lose your child is to lose your future",

wrote the Swedish author Naja Marie Aidt.

When I went to work on the 28th of September 25 years ago,

I was looking forward to seeing

my active and always curious six and a half year old son.

That wasn't meant to be.

This day 25 years ago, I remember as a surreal bad dream,

far removed from reality.

It wasn't until weeks later that it hit me and reality sunk in.

It wasn't a dream,

but probably the most brutal experience a person can face.

Losing a child. A part of yourself.

Never again could I tell my boy how much I loved him.

I never got to answer your many questions. I never got to be your dad.

The many questions you had, I will take with me.

Why did the Estonia sink?

What happened? Who's responsible?

Hjřrund never gave up until he got answers.

Neither will I.

I will not find peace until I get answers to my questions.

That's why we must never become silent about this disaster,

until someone is held responsible and the bereaved get answers.

The Estonia capsized and sank in just minutes.

How could this happen?

It's unacceptable that over 500 citizens die,

and no one is held responsible.

During my 30 years in politics, I've never had a harder decision to make.

You haven't considered our feelings, the hell we're going through.

I think they want to conceal the cause of the sinking.

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