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WIND HOWLS
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No, no, I completely understand.
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Please don't feel bad about it.
You just stay safe.
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This is no good.
We'll still get paid, right? Yeah,
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but we don't want our first
wedding here to be a disaster.
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People will think the place is cursed.
It is. Not haunted,
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I mean, like, unlucky. It isn't not unlucky.
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That was Michelle.
The Kingsleys can't make it either. Oh.
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Yeah, Mike and Valerie just texted to say,
"Accident on the M4,
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"traffic isn't moving"? PHONE RINGS
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Ooh, it's the wedding planner.
Hi. Hi, Martin.
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We've been trying to get hold of you.
Sorry about that.
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I didn't have the Bluetooth in.
Just to give you the rundown.
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The DJ can't make it but
the equipment's all there
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if anyone wants to step in.
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The caterers are with you, I think.
Yes. Yeah.
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But the waiting staff are mostly crying off,
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so it might have to be a bit
more of a buffet situation. OK.
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Well, I'll let you co-ordinate that.
Where are you?
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Ah. That's the thing.
I've had a little bit of a dink.
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Sorry, sir, we need to end the call now,
please. I'd better go.
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Oh, my God. It's fine. I think I'm in shock!
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Sir, it's time to hang up.
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Right. Got to go. Good luck with it all.
Ciao, ciao, ciao.
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Oh, oh, oh... PHONE BEEPS
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So...where is he? Slight problem.
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'Tis bad tidings for the nuptials.
No, it's romantic!
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A white wedding. A white, white wedding!
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Oh, I do wish I could see the service.
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Well, that's at the church,
Kitty, as it should be. I know.
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If they can get there, that is.
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Beastly terrain for civilian vehicles.
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I remember my wedding day.
It was the best day of my life.
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Carol in velvet,
me in a handsome brown three-piece.
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I cannot bear to think
of the joy that would've
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occasioned my own wedding day.
Oh! Don't remember much of mine.
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I assume it was fun. Arghhhh!
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Mine was at Winchester Cathedral.
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I was given away by the Marquis of
Granby and the guests included the...
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ROBIN GRUNTS
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Something to say, have we, Robin?
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Well, in my day, you do what you want.
You like someone, you do it.
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You like someone else, you do it. Easy.
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No-one know who their father is but
everyone raise children together.
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Peace and love. I see.
Bloody hippy, eh. Sounds awful.
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It's not very romantic, is it?
You, wife cheat on you.
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And you cheat on wife.
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And you, husband cheat on you with two men,
then kill you,
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so open your eyes,
people not meant to be mon-hog...
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..mono...
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..mo-hog...hog...
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Monogamous. That's what I said.
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Dad, everyone's cancelling.
How many men have we lost? Not everyone.
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Sam's at the hotel and the family.
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So vital personnel are
all still in the field?
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Ah! Michael's back from the front.
What news?
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Marquee's fallen down. Oh. What?
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Part of it. Most of it. Oh, my God!
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Best to cancel the wedding, it be cursed.
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No, thank you, Mary.
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We can do the meal in the house.
Good idea. Excellent.
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How will everyone get to the service?
You can't drive in this.
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We'll hike. Yes, Alan. On foot. We march.
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That's not going to work for Auntie Lou,
is it?
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SHE SNORES Stretcher?
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Do you think we should just cancel? No!
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Well, what does Sam think?
We agreed not to talk.
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It's bad luck to see each
other on the wedding day.
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Well, in that case,
wouldn't want to make it worse.
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Dad, I know it's silly but it's
the one thing I can control. Sorry.
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I...I still think we can do this,
Clare, if you want to.
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HE SIGHS, BONES CREAK
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You're here and, and Sam's nearby.
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Your dad's here and the
bridesmaids are on their way.
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People that matter, right?
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Good. Then we've got to do it.
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We're licensed and I
know you wanted a church,
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but if the mountain can't come to Mohammed,
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then...then we're going
to bring the vicar here
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and I know that that's mixed
metaphors and also religions,
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but you know what I mean.
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Very good.
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Right, well, who's going to go out in this
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and get the vicar from the top of the...
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Me. It's me, innit?
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All right. It's all part of the service.
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All right.
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30?! Or at least. Lost count.
Busy bunny, eh?
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This is not love you speak of!
It's but the carnality of a beast.
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Let me put you this,
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if you had married Isabel
and then you meet Alison...
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They're 200 years apart, man!
Question still stands. Well, I'd...
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I'd... See?
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Right, we're commandeering the ballroom.
What? What?
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The wedding's happening here. Yes!
Oh, yes, a thousand times, yes!
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Whoa. Oh, my God.
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That has never happened before.
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Right, I need to get chairs in here.
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What?! Alison, no, no, no, no.
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You can't have the service in here,
this isn't a church.
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Where's the steeple, where are the pews,
where are the people?
102
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No, it's a great idea. What can we do?
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Well, n-nothing, actually,
Pat, can you, cos you're dead.
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Thank you, though.
Thank you, Patrick, carry on.
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KNOCKING Ooh, this looks amazing!
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Oh, hi! You made it!
Come in. Come in, come in.
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The key, of course, is symmetry.
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Two banks of seating with a
clear avenue for the entrance
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of the bride.
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Let's line that up. Very good, carry on.
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I'm just trying to set up,
if anyone wants to help.
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Yep, a little bit higher.
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You want lovely, long loops,
like waves across the space,
114
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don't you think, Julian?
Mm. Are there bridesmaids?
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Oh, I hope you're going to
behave yourself today...
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..because I have heard about you.
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What do you think?
Oh, it's wonderful, I mean, it's like a,
118
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it's like a flower grenade has gone off.
Oh... It's fabulous.
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Now I was thinking perhaps
flowers on the end of each aisle.
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A floral streetlight, if you will. Mm.
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Robin! Robin!
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It wasn't me!
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It was me.
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Everything all right, love?
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Yeah.
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Sure I can't help?
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Yeah.
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Oh.
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She shakes! 'Tis another sign!
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She's nervous!
131
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Oh, I wish I could help!
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CHURCH BELL RINGS
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Good morning. Hello.
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Father,
I've come to take you to the wedding.
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We're doing the service in the house.
Oh, I see.
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I, er, rather thought it might be cancelled.
137
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No, it's happening,
so if you want to grab your coat, snow boots.
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I'm afraid I'm carrying a bit of an injury.
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I'm not sure I can walk down the hill.
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Don't worry, Father, you don't have to walk.
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Oh.
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VICAR SCREAMS IN DELIGHT
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Look out!
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Ah, there we are. What? That's very sparkly.
145
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What has happened to ties nowadays?
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Oh! Ooh! Ah.
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Does nobody wear a gown
to a wedding nowadays?
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You'd think this was a circus.
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Oh, no, it's chic, and it's now,
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and if it makes HER feel fabulous, then, er,
151
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no, very good.
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Oh, and trousers for you as well.!
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Hello! Or should I say yellow?
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Beautiful banana.
155
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Do you recognise him? Do you recognise him?
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Er... Where do I know him from?
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Is he off the telly?
Ooh, yeah, yeah, could be.
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He does look familiar.
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Oh, my goodness, Clare, it's beautiful!
160
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Where be your garter?
The bride must be gartered!
161
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Oh, no! Alison!
162
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It's not, er, Dennis Waterman, is it?
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Dennis Waterman?
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He'd be 70 by now.
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Oh, yeah, good point, yeah.
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Mick Hucknall!
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Don't be ridiculous, Robin!
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Mick Hucknall has dreadlocks.
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Oh, Vicar, you made it!
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Just go through here and make
yourself warm by the fire.
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Ah, thank you.
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That took a while.
Yeah, he wanted to do the hill twice.
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Alison!
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May I have your ear, please?
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Ah! The vicar's arrived. Good work, Michael.
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CAR HORN BEEPS They're here!
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Sorry, Mary, not right now. Ah, here we go.
178
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A double wedding! Oh, my goshness!
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No, that's the other bride.
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For the same groom?
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Bigamy?!
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No, they're marrying each other.
183
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What on Earth?!
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Two brides! Wonderful!
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SHE GROANS
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Is this one gartered?
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Oi-oi, bridesmaids. Tick.
Let the wedding commence.
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Isn't that against the law?
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No. Times have changed.
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The house will be brought into disrepute.
191
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It's a scandal!
192
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Those are the bridesmaids? Of course.
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But they're wearing burgundy, just like me.
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Wonderful choice.
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A darker shade,
as if to frame the glowing white
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of the beautiful bride,
without upstaging her.
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Does this mean I'm a bridesmaid?!
198
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,320
Can I be a bridesmaid?!
Please, please, please!
199
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,160
Yes, yes, fine, yeah.
200
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,240
Hi! Come in, come in.
201
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,960
Oh, what a journey! Oh, you made it!
202
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,160
OK,
so we've set everything out in the ballroom.
203
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,880
Oh, thank you so much for doing this for us.
204
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,360
Honestly, I don't know what we
would have done without you.
205
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,760
No, it's our pleasure.
It's all part of the Button House...
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00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,720
..brand. #ButtonHouse.
207
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,360
Available for bookings.
Tell your friends. Ha-ha. Please.
208
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,720
Oh, where is this garter, then?
Er, come through.
209
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,240
♪ Here comes the bridesmaid,
she is a bridesmaid. ♪
210
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,120
Lovely place, isn't it? Yeah, er, yes.
211
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,840
I've been here before, actually. Oh?
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00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,040
A long time ago, now.
213
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,560
Well, what a coincidence. Mm.
214
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,320
So, I don't know if you've met the
couple that own it, but it's... No.
215
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,920
..it's quite a story.
216
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,720
I've been here before, actually.
A long time ago, now.
217
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,800
Like the beak of a goose, you see?
218
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,280
Oh, it's a lovely old tradition,
especially with the bridesmaids.
219
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,400
Pinch on the bum, no harm done.
220
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,800
These are gentlewomen, sir!
Not Whitechapel strumpets!
221
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:02,840
You're fun.
222
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,320
It looks good. It's happening.
I know, I think it's good.
223
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,680
I can't believe we're actually
going to make this happen.
224
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,560
Er, you haven't seen Clare, have you?
225
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,560
Oh, she hasn't run away, has she?
226
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,360
Actually, I hope she HASN'T run away.
227
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:19,240
Oh, she's probably just popped to the loo,
or...
228
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,320
I'll go and look for her. Yeah. Erm...
229
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,560
Just, just tell everyone that
we're going to start soon.
230
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,240
Erm, just keep them entertained.
231
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,760
What shall I say? I don't know.
232
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,200
Whatever. I won't be long.
233
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,920
Alison, what's happening?
We've just lost one of the brides.
234
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,560
What?!
235
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,080
Right, pay attention, everyone!
236
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,760
We have a missing bride.
We need to search the house.
237
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,320
Thomas, Mary, East Wing.
Robin, Julian, West Wing.
238
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,960
Pat, you're with me. Come along!
239
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:49,080
Well, come on, man!
Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time.
240
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,880
Hi.
241
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,760
Er, we're going to start soon,
242
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:58,080
but I just want to say a few words
to welcome you all to Button House.
243
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,360
Er, well done for getting here,
in this weather.
244
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:02,640
Many didn't make it.
245
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,880
Not that they died, they just got stuck,
246
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,080
although the wedding planner
had quite a serious...
247
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,240
Nah. Nothing.
248
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,200
Anyway, the best ones are here, right?
249
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,280
Right?
250
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,640
Oh, here she be!
251
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,520
She sits herein. Alison!
252
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,160
Alison! We have eyes on the target.
253
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,280
The eagle is in the nest.
254
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,640
What?
255
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:28,920
She's in the toilet.
256
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,200
Oh!
257
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:32,800
Clare?
258
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,040
It's Alison. Is everything OK?
259
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,120
I'm just going to the loo,
I'll be out in a minute.
260
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,440
She sits upon the stall but
her trousers is not down.
261
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:43,800
OK.
262
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,960
She seems lost in thought,
263
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,080
at sea, in a tumultuous storm of emotion.
264
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,280
Are you, are you sure you're OK?
265
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,320
Yeah.
266
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,840
Anything you want to talk about?
267
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,120
I'm scared I'm making a mistake.
268
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,320
Well, she is. Monopoly is a trap.
269
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,880
Monogamy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
270
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,280
So, erm...
271
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,800
Vicar? Mm? You've done hundreds of weddings.
272
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,120
You must have some stories.
273
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,000
Oh, not really.
274
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,160
Really? No stories?
275
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,960
No, nothing very...
276
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,840
Being modest. Er...
277
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,080
You have to help me. Er...
278
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,720
Alison's gone to find Clare and
I don't know what's going on.
279
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,240
Right. I just don't...
280
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,640
Make something up? Hm, yeah?
281
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,760
Woo!
282
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,720
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
283
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,520
Erm, hello. Erm...
284
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,440
I, er, I remember one wedding.
285
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:51,640
Goodness me, it must be,
erm, 20 years ago, at least,
286
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,640
when, erm,
287
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,400
during the vows,
288
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,480
all of a sudden, the doors flew open,
and a dog ran in to the church.
289
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,280
Ha!
290
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,040
Barking.
291
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,920
Barking away, he was.
292
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,640
Woof, woof, woof.
293
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,840
But, er, that was just the start.
294
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,000
Oh. Hmm...
295
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,400
What's going on?
Has the party started already?
296
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,840
I thought I could hear voices. No.
297
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,280
It's the ceremony.
298
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,040
Here? Mm. Woo!
299
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,480
Could you take me down there?
I'd love to see it.
300
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,200
Oh, I don't think you do. It's scandalous.
301
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,640
It's unbecoming of this fine
house and its noble history.
302
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,800
I think I'll probably make my own mind up,
303
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,080
if you could just take me down...
304
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,920
I'm quite sure you'll agree with me.
305
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,240
Honestly,
I don't know what the world has come to.
306
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,200
Is there no decency any more?
307
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,400
No sense of traditional values?
308
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,720
Oh, this is happening.
When I was a girl... Yep...
309
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:55,560
..we were taught at a very young
age exactly what was expected,
310
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,040
what was proper!
311
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,680
I'm being stupid. Yep.
312
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,200
Don't say that. Well...
313
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,440
It's not that I don't love her.
314
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,200
It's not that we aren't happy, it...
315
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,960
It just suddenly feels terrifying.
316
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,600
Oh, get over it and get on with it!
317
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,880
You're lucky to be alive!
318
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,560
Honestly, people don't know they're born.
319
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,400
It's completely natural for
you to get cold feet today.
320
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,480
Yeah, it's snowing. It's a metaphor, Robin!
321
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,440
You're a metaphor.
322
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,000
Don't tell anyone this, but...
323
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,000
..I had a wobble on my wedding day.
324
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,240
I kept thinking, "Is he the one?"
325
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,760
"I'm still young, do I really want
to commit for the rest of my life,
326
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:42,400
"you know? Is it naive to think
that I won't fall in love again?
327
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:46,600
"And all the little habits
and the things that annoy me,
328
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,720
"can I really live with them every day?"
329
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,760
You're absolutely right, he's wrong for you.
Can you...?
330
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,160
But then I tried to
imagine living without him.
331
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,960
And I couldn't.
332
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,200
Because he's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
333
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,720
We're a team.
334
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,800
And we love each other.
335
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,720
Nah, I preferred the first bit.
336
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,720
..a nut allergy, yes, because Janet...
337
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,080
Oh, Michael's here, girls!
338
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:24,080
Mike, is everything OK? Are we starting?
339
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,560
Alison's just talking to
Clare in the bathroom. Oh!
340
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,760
What about? Apparently she got
cold feet on our wedding day
341
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,000
and she wasn't sure if
she wanted to marry me,
342
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,520
because of all my bad habits.
343
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,000
Why is she talking about cold feet?
344
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,240
What's going on?
345
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,840
So, you know,
only you can make that decision.
346
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,920
Can you imagine life without her?
347
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,200
It's working. She's looking at
pictures of them on her telephone.
348
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,760
Oh, holiday snaps. No, no, scroll back.
349
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,080
Clare? So, what do you think?
350
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,640
Do you want to do this?
351
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,520
LOCK CLICKS
352
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,400
I do.
353
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:12,320
It became clear that the dog
was trying to tell us something.
354
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,600
It was pointing, you know,
with its, with its paw. So we...
355
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:22,040
..all got up out of our seats
and followed the creature.
356
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,920
I fears for the marriage, Alison.
Much is not done.
357
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,240
The bride be not gartered.
358
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,560
And where are the bachelors
to carry her to bed?
359
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,880
And someone must break cake over her head.
360
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,160
I'm just going to catch you.
I'll catch you up. Sure, OK.
361
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,400
Yeah. What are you talking about, Mary?
362
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:44,200
The cake what's not broke upon
my head so my husband did die.
363
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:49,200
Crushed beneath his plough
like a grape beneath the foot.
364
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,000
Oh, my God!
Your husband died on your wedding day?
365
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,520
No, three years aft. Right.
366
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:59,560
The couple must observe the
rituals for a blessed marriage! OK.
367
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,000
There's a lot to unpack here.
368
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,120
So you're saying that your
husband died in a farming accident
369
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,720
because of something that you
didn't do on your wedding day
370
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,160
three years earlier? Exactly!
371
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,840
OK.
372
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:14,160
We...
We, we had gathered around the well and...
373
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:19,280
Well,
we thought we could hear a baby crying.
374
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:25,200
Nobody had a ladder,
so we were going to have to use the bucket.
375
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,160
But, um... There was...
376
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,440
INDISTINCT
377
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,120
What do you mean she's not here?
378
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,760
She went off with her mum. Why?
379
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,280
She's so upset!
380
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,160
She found out that her bride might
be having doubts about marrying her.
381
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,800
You told her?!
382
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,560
Oh, my God, Mike.
I had it all under control.
383
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,400
All you had to do was
just keep them waiting.
384
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,200
Well, I'm sorry I always disappoint you.
385
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,520
Sorry's not good enough, is it?
386
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,480
That's such an insensitive thing to do.
387
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,120
Is the wedding off? No!
388
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,480
Alison, we need a plan.
The guests are getting restless.
389
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,120
Oh, who cares about the guests.
To hell with the guests!
390
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,320
What's it got to do with us, eh?
391
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,000
We're dead, in case you hadn't noticed.
We can't do a bloody thing!
392
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,760
HE EXHALES
393
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,440
I'm going to talk to Sam and
then you just make sure that
394
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,280
Clare's still here when we get back.
395
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,520
IF we get back.
396
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,320
All this over a silly piece of paper.
397
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,520
I just wanted to be a bridesmaid!
398
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:18,800
You all saw that, didn't you?
That she tires of him.
399
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,120
Finally, she sees the light!
400
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,320
Yes!
401
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,080
Where do you think you're going?
402
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:31,040
And before you know it,
there's chaos on the streets, mass hysteria,
403
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,440
everyone doing whatever they feel like -
stealing, fighting,
404
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:40,880
anarchy, which is precisely why
I won't go near this...spectacle.
405
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,400
You finished?
406
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,960
Yes. Wow.
407
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,400
Breathe, love.
408
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,520
Oh! What did she say? Nothing.
409
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,680
Nothing, honestly, nothing.
410
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,360
She loves you and she wants to marry you.
411
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,200
This is all a big misunderstanding.
412
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,800
Mike heard you say to Clare that you
had cold feet on YOUR wedding day.
413
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,640
Yes. Yes. He did.
414
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,640
But... But that's me.
415
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,800
Not Clare.
416
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,960
But why would you talk to Clare about it
417
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,960
unless that's how she were feeling?
418
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,600
Tell me honestly, was Clare having doubts?
419
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,560
Yes. But...
420
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,760
Well, I had a flathead screwdriver,
421
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,400
but that was no good because it was,
it was a Phillips...
422
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,640
Mike, is everything OK?
423
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,200
Mike?
424
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,560
Is everything OK?
425
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,560
I heard Alison telling you she
wasn't sure if she wanted to
426
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,400
marry me and if she'd meet someone
better and if I was the one. Um...
427
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,600
..I meant, with the wedding?
428
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,880
Yes.
429
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:59,800
She had an artificial limb
that had come loose and also...
430
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,040
You bastard!
431
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,520
Patrick? Come here, you Scally!
432
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,200
You, you reprobate!
433
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,840
Those drinks were for later! Urgh!
434
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,920
Leave it, Pat. Argh!
435
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,240
Oh!
436
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,680
Ah!
437
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:17,720
Oh!
438
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:18,880
Ah!
439
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,160
Ah!
440
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,960
Stand down, fellas. Stand down!
441
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,440
Ow!
442
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:31,920
Urgh! Oh!
443
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,320
GRUNTS CONTINUE HE YELLS
444
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,720
VARIOUS GRUNTS AND YELPS
445
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,600
SILENCE
446
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,520
CACOPHONY OF PAINED GRUNTS
447
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,840
I hope you bog off when it's back on.
448
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,600
Stop!
449
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,400
It's Kieth Darren Dean.
450
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,520
Oh.
451
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,880
Who? Hmm?
452
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,880
Safety rule number one is no...
453
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,360
Oh!
454
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,200
The arrow's gone through that,
clean through.
455
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,120
HE CHOKES
456
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,880
We might need one of you to drive.
457
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,440
Don't look at me, kids. Make a path.
458
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,320
You don't want to see this in your dreams.
459
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:21,360
Oh.
460
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,000
ENGINE STARTS
461
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,520
Tenner says he stays. You're on.
462
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,160
I'll tell you about my marriage.
463
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,000
My marriage was arranged.
464
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,720
I was 14, she was 12. Noble families, both.
465
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,960
Model couple, really, for the time.
466
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:55,760
We had a title and a big house and the lands,
riches.
467
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,720
Didn't love each other.
468
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,520
She didn't even like me.
469
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,040
Didn't laugh at my jokes.
470
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,440
Didn't really understand each other.
471
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,200
She was French, so...
472
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,800
Might have been nice if we could
have chosen who we married.
473
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,600
Mike, something's going on, isn't it?
474
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,520
I may have told Sam you were
having a bit of a wobble.
475
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,400
I heard Alison say that stuff
about me and I was really hurt.
476
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,160
And I wasn't really thinking.
477
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,760
I'm sure Sam will come around, like you did.
478
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,000
And then she opened the door and she said,
"Thank you".
479
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,680
And that's it? That's it.
480
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,000
She loves you.
481
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,200
She was just scared.
482
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,240
You know, she also said she
couldn't imagine living without you.
483
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,640
Did she? She said you're the best
thing that's ever happened to her.
484
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,600
Ah.
485
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,880
I need to talk to her.
486
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,400
I need to see her.
And to hell with tradition.
487
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,080
I love you.
488
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,400
Let's get married.
489
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,480
WIND HOWLS
490
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,040
Hello, Skip.
491
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,680
Hello, Kieth.
492
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,760
I just want you to know,
I do think about you.
493
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,000
I think about you, too.
494
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:57,200
About that day.
495
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,640
I'm sorry, Skip.
496
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,320
I forgive you.
497
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,520
I should never have given an
eight-year-old a lethal weapon.
498
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,360
I suppose if there's one thing
I could say to you, Kieth,
499
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,080
it would be... Uh!
500
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,280
Of course.
501
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,960
I'm OK! Sorry.
502
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,080
DANCE MUSIC STARTS
503
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,040
MUSIC STOPS Sorry!
504
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,440
WEDDING MARCH PLAYS
505
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,760
Mission accomplished.
506
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,800
Hello, thank you. That's...
507
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,600
What? Oh! All right, then.
508
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:00,920
SHE GIGGLES
509
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,360
Julian! Arr!
510
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,600
Please be seated.
511
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,640
You've changed your tune.
512
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,200
Well, times change, don't they?
We should know.
513
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:25,480
After all, if George had been
free to love as he chose, well,
514
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,040
I wouldn't have been murdered.
515
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:32,320
And I could have had a husband
instead who wanted to know me.
516
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,120
And when I say know, I mean
517
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:36,480
he would give me a really good...
ALL INTERRUPT
518
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,800
FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS
519
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,280
Waza!
520
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,440
Terrible story.
What happened to the baby? Oh! Well...
521
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,400
Oooh! I've got it.
522
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,480
Double half hitch.
523
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,040
Well done, Kieth.
524
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,720
Well done.
525
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,200
Who do that?
526
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,400
Three, two, one, go!
527
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,520
APPLAUSE
528
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,400
Good for you, Debbie.
529
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,960
Now.
530
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,560
There. I can't just throw cake at the bride.
531
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,600
But, looks.
532
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,120
Now she will not die.
533
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,400
My Girl by The Temptations
534
00:27:55,360 --> 00:28:02,080
♪ I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
535
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:09,360
♪ And when it's cold outside, I've got...
♪
536
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:12,200
OK, sometimes it work...
537
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:16,480
..mon-og-amy. Oh! Very good, Robin.
538
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,200
Monogamy. Monogamy!
539
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,240
Monogamy!
540
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,800
Yes, that's enough. Thank you, Robin.
541
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:27,000
♪ My girl
542
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,760
♪ Talking about my girl... ♪
543
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,040
I think I want another fight.
544
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,760
Can he be a club?
40314
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