Original subtitles

[The Bee Gee's "I.O.I.O"] - ♪ I, O ♪

♪ I, I, I, I, I, I, O ♪

♪ I, O ♪

[people shouting] ♪ I, O ♪

♪ I, I, I, I, I, I, O ♪

♪ I, O ♪

♪ You know I love getting up in the morning ♪

♪ When the sun first strikes the trees ♪

♪ All the morning birds that sing above ♪

♪ Still bring back memories ♪

♪ Of a girl who stood beside me ♪

♪ When the rights I did were wrong ♪

♪ But she went back down the river ♪

♪ Just when I thought I could be strong ♪

♪ When I thought I could be strong ♪

♪ So I sing I, O ♪

♪ I, I, I, I, I ♪

- Good morning, sir.

- Good morning. Thank you.

- ♪ I, O ♪

♪ I, I, I, I, I, I, O ♪

♪ I, O ♪

- Tea, Miss Sykes?

- No, thank you, Mr. Chadley.

Soon as she's asleep,

I'll be out like a light myself.

- I will be quiet as the mouse.

Babies must be very tiresome.

- Mm. Don't get me started.

You wake me if my sister calls, though, won't you?

- Mm.

[tense music]

Oh.

♪ ♪

[phone ringing] [baby crying]

Sorry. Sorry.

[phone ringing] [baby crying]

Good morning. Pennyworth Security.

- This is Lucius Fox.

[muffled] Lucius Fox.

Mayday. Mayday.

[electronic beeping]

[muffled] Level 7. - Hello?

- Level 7. I repeat, Level 7.

Mayday.

- Did you say Level 7, Dr. Fox?

Hello? Can you hear me?

[sparks burst]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- Darn. - Fair do.

I thought you were all mouth, but the bugger worked.

You're a wizard, you are. - Ow.

- Alfie.

♪ ♪

[baby crying] Dash and buggery!

- Call that quiet, do you?

- Sorry. - Shh.

[baby cries]

- Thank you for your assistance, Inspector.

We'll wait to hear from you.

- Of course. Pennyworth.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

- Thank you, Inspector.

- All good? - Sorted.

- Tea's ready if you'd like some.

Milk and sugar are on the tray.

- Oh, thanks, Gladys,

but I think we're all ready to hit the sack.

- Uh, she means sleep.

I think we're exhausted. - I'm wide awake.

[phone ringing] - No you're not.

You can barely keep your eyes open.

- I could sleep forever, I think.

- Hello. Wayne residence.

Of course. I'll fetch him for you.

Phone call for Mr. Pennyworth.

[mysterious tone]

- This is Alfred. - Alfie.

Thank goodness I found you.

- No one wants tea, then? - Thanks, Gladys.

- All right. Thanks, Mr. C.

- Trouble, son?

- That was Chadley.

Lucius in a spot of bother.

- Uh, Mrs. P, would you--

- Yeah. Come on, Sam.

Let's go run a bath.

[tense music]

- Lucius said, "Mayday, mayday. Level 7,"

then got cut off.

- Lucius would only use the mayday signal

if he was in real danger.

- I'm sorry, what's, um-- what's Level 7?

- It's an underground Army facility.

Finding new and fiendish ways to weaponize P-dubs.

Lucius was trying to gain access.

- Oh, for Christ's sake.

What a bad idea. Why would he do that?

- Because something bad's going on down there.

Something evil.

- Like what? - W--I don't know.

They're trying to make weapons out of human beings.

- Meaning you don't really know what's going on.

- That's why Lucius went down there:

to find out the truth.

And I kind of... encouraged him a bit, so...

- Oh, Jesus, Martha.

[low rumbling]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- And you're quite sure that's what he said.

- Certain, sir.

- Mayday?

How strange. - Isn't it?

So I'll look into that for you

if you give me permission to go to Level 7.

- Level 7 is, as you very well know,

an entirely Army operation.

I have no say in the matter.

Relations between the government and the Army

are in a fragile state at the moment.

Hostile, in fact.

Extremely hostile.

- Sir, Lucius is being held against his will

because he knows the truth about Level 7,

and I fear for his life. - Possibly true,

but we don't know it to be true.

I can't act on possibility. - B-but--

- However, if some independent entity or person,

without my knowledge or consent,

were to establish the facts and found, by whatever means,

that there were crimes going on down there,

then the police and the high courts

would take the lead, not this office.

Which would not make me unhappy.

- Got it.

Have I got it? - [sighs] I do hope so.

[bell dings]

[adventurous music]

♪ ♪

Mmm.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- He's given us the green light.

- Th-the green light?

- To go get Lucius.

- What do you mean? There's nothing we can do.

I mean, w-we can get him a lawyer, but--

- The prime minister has just given us tacit permission

to go in and rescue him.

- Rescue him? How?

- However we can.

I have a security pass for Level 6,

so from there, I'm sure we can find a way down to Level 7.

- I can't believe I'm hearing this.

We have just rescued our daughter

from the clutches of a maniac.

That's enough drama for one week, don't you think?

- I'm with him.

- Lucius is a friend in danger.

I have to do this, Thomas. - Martha--

- And they're hiding something awful down there.

- That's none of our business.

- Well, it is my business!

Those poor souls are my business because it's my job!

- Yes, yes, you're a secret agent,

but you're also a wife and a mother.

And you're part of a family,

a family that's just been through a serious trauma.

- Well, I'm also a friend to Lucius.

And you'll be here to look after Sam.

So...

also, I don't know what else I can do.

- Fine. Fuck this.

Go be a-- go be a secret fucking agent.

[door closes]

- Please wait. Thomas!

- [sighs] - Thomas. I'm sorry.

- Sorry about what?

- I am who I am, Thomas.

- Yeah.

You're a little crazy. - [laughs] Yeah.

But, honey, look who's talking.

- I just wanna go back to being a normal family.

- Well, maybe that's not possible.

Maybe we should accept that we're not normal.

Accept that we're a strange, fucked-up family.

Just embrace the fuckery.

- No. No.

I vote on going back to being a normal family.

- You mean stand by and do nothing when we could help?

- Is it really such a bad idea?

Just this once?

No.

No.

You're gonna go ahead

and "do the right thing," aren't you?

- Lucius is in trouble because of me.

I have to go. You know that.

Come inside.

[soft suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Please?

♪ ♪

I'll pay you.

- Excuse me? - I'll pay you.

To help me go get Lucius.

- Don't look at me. I would love to come along,

but I--I need a nap.

And Sam needs at least one sane, live parent.

- I need you, Alfie. Name your price.

- Well, now you're just trying to make me feel bad.

- No.

I gave that up a long time ago.

You're unshameable.

♪ ♪

- Call it a tenner.

I'm not doing nothing for free. I'm not a mug.

Lot of help you were.

- Well, embrace the fuckery, Alfie.

- Francis!

Oh, thank God we found you.

- Hello, Sally.

- That drug you gave out to the party,

you have to stop giving it out.

You have to stop right now. - Stop it?

Nobody can stop it, darling.

Half of London just had Lullaby milk

in their morning tea.

- Tell us you're joking.

- After you left the party, people went mad.

- Aye, they killed yon Dr. Glubb.

- Really? How?

- What does it matter?

Your drug is fucked!

- Lullaby frees the inner soul, Daveboy.

Some souls are governed by love,

others by fear.

Everybody does their own thing.

That's life. - Death, actually.

- Death is life.

Life is death.

It's wonderful... and horrible

and very, very now.

- It's madness, is what it is.

- You can call it madness if you wish, Daveboy.

I like to call it joy.

- Francis!

- Aye?

♪ ♪

And what do you call that?

- Don't be scared. - No?

♪ ♪

- These are my disciples.

[crowd shouting]

My beautiful children!

Give me your love!

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

Stop! Stop!

- Go, go, go, go.

Go! Go!

♪ ♪

- Morning.

New intake for Level 6.

Oh, and do you have access to Level 7?

- Yeah, but you-- - Great. That's good to know.

- Hello, Ms. Kane. - Hi, Henry.

Sorry about this.

[soldier grunts] - Sorry about what?

- Get in. [scanner beeps]

- [grunts]

- Oh.

- Level 7 access granted.

Mind the closing doors. [elevator dings]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- You know this is very sketchy, Alfie.

- I do.

- Thank you for coming.

- There's no need to thank me.

There's a tenner in it.

♪ ♪

- Morning. Ministry inspection.

Take us to General Thursday.

- This way, ma'am.

♪ ♪

- Mrs. Wayne? Pennyworth?

What the devil are you doing down here?

You don't have clearance. - Good day to you, General.

You're holding Lucius Fox here, I believe.

- Who told you that? - He did.

- Nonsense.

- We need to see him. - Oh, really?

On whose authority?

The prime minister has no right--

- The prime minister has nothing to do with this.

We're here as private citizens,

representatives of the people.

- The people? Nonsense.

Aziz sent you. - Think what you like.

But you're holding Lucius Fox without charges or a warrant,

and I am here exercising his habeas corpus rights.

- [laughs]

Civilian jargon.

You're trespassers in a high-security,

high-value military facility

guarded by a battalion of soldiers.

- Really? - Hmm.

- 'Cause the way I see it, we're in a little room

just the three of us.

- Five of us, actually.

[all grunting]

- What the hell?

[tense music]

- Three.

- You just committed treason.

- Get on that PA system

and tell your soldiers to stand down.

- What are you going to do, shoot me?

- That's right. - [chuckles]

- [chuckles] - She's bluffing.

- I wouldn't bet on that, mate.

- I won't kill you.

I'll just wound you.

- You're crazy. - Hmm.

I'm beginning to understand that.

It's very liberating, actually.

- I'm the commander in chief of the bloody Army.

You can't do this.

- Well, you wouldn't think so, would you?

But here we are.

And you don't mind me saying, sir,

you don't run a very tight ship.

♪ ♪

[feedback over PA] - Get off!

- Attention all personnel,

this is your commander in chief, General Thursday.

This facility is now under civilian control.

[soft acoustic music]

I repeat, under civilian control.

Stand down from your duties

and stow your weapons immediately.

- ♪ We are as birds ♪

♪ Fluttering in momentary light ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Before we return again ♪

♪ To the blackness of the night ♪

♪ ♪

[door opens]

- Sir, we have an ongoing

mental health emergency across the city.

- Oh.

- People are going mad,

and nobody knows what's causing it.

Some have turned violent.

They're forming mobs.

[tense music] [horse neighs]

- Mobs, you say?

♪ ♪

What do they want? - They're mad, sir.

They don't want anything. - Nonsense.

Everybody wants something.

♪ ♪

Secure the gates.

Call out the guards.

Let no one enter. - Yes, sir.

- Mm.

- An unknown entity is causing widespread, mass psychosis

throughout central London.

Police and ambulance services have been suspended--

- [person shouts] - Ahh!

- Die!

[Labi Siffre's "It Must Be Love" playing]

- ♪ As soon as I wake up ♪

♪ Any night, any day ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I know that it's you I need ♪

♪ To take the blues away ♪

♪ ♪

♪ It must be love ♪

- Oh! Listen to me, all of you.

Listen!

There are nutters coming here.

We need to secure this building.

Chadley, open up the gun safe.

You and you, come with me.

Jesus.

- He's not joking. Seriously.

♪ ♪

[chainsaw buzzes]

- Fuck.

Ahh!

Move! Come on!

- Righto.

- ♪ Nothing more, nothing less ♪

♪ Love is the best ♪

- Thank God.

Thank you.

I'm impressed.

Thank you. - No problem.

Are you okay? - I'm okay.

A little traumatized, I suspect, but--

- Time to go, eh?

- We can't go yet.

...3-4-8. [panel beeps]

- Come on!

- Whoa! - Oh.

Sorry. - Bet.

- Alfie?

- Hello. Ow!

What the fuck? Careful. - Sorry.

Mrs. Wayne. Well, I never.

- What are you doing here?

- You may well ask. Long story.

I found John Salt, and then-- - For later.

We need to go. - We can't go yet.

- What now?

[beeping] - Okay, guys.

They need to come with us. - No.

- We can't just leave them in here.

This is a torture chamber.

- Where are you gonna take 'em?

- We'll worry about that when we've got them out of here.

- Yeah, but come on-- - No, he's right.

They can't stay here.

- What's going on, Lucius? - Guys, listen.

We're gonna get you out of here.

[cheers and applause] [cell door bangs]

So this gadget...

will open the lock in two hours.

If you mess with it, the doors won't open at all.

Ever. Okay?

So don't mess with it.

[timer buzzes]

[timer beeping]

Oh, and don't try breaking through the walls

because that, as you know,

would trigger those self-destruct protocols

that you insisted on.

- Tell Aziz he'll hang for this.

- May I finish explaining the situation?

- You'll hang too! Mark my words.

- Once you get out of this cage,

you'll have full use of the amenities on this floor,

but you'll find that you're unable to get to the surface

because I'll have cut the power to the lifts and air locks.

- All of you will hang for this.

- You'll be free to go once your ex-inmates

are safely out of your reach.

I'd estimate a couple of days.

Uh, yeah. I think that's it.

Good luck, and God be with you, sir.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, that's not good.

[people shouting]

- What the heck is going on?

- Uh, wild guess: Lullaby. - Fuck.

- I mean, it must be in the water or something.

- What's Lullaby?

[machine gun firing]

- Whoo! [radio playing loudly]

- That's Lullaby.

♪ ♪

- I hate that fucking song.

What's it even mean, caravans and candlesticks?

- Oh, no. Sandra.

Listen, you get to the Queen Anne

and I'll see you there!

- Oh, fuck. Sam. Thomas.

Get to the Queen Anne! - Hey, wh--

- Oh, for God's sake. - Okay, come on.

[people shouting]

[crowd chattering]

- Guys.

Guys! [chattering unintelligibly]

Listen! [crowd quiets]

Thank you. [chattering continues]

So look, we have a dangerous situation out there.

- Quiet!

[crowd quiets]

Let the man speak.

- Thank you. Yes.

A dangerous situation. [machine gun fire in distance]

We're gonna be okay.

- Sandra! [crowd shouting]

- Sandra!

- Come down, Sandra!

- Sandra! - We love you!

- Come down here, Sandra!

[soft acoustic music]

- ♪ Dull and dreary day ♪

♪ Sad and gloomy gray ♪

♪ The cold wind blew the northside ♪

♪ On the rooftop weathervane ♪

♪ The sky was overcast ♪

♪ Moving mighty fast ♪

♪ And at the very moment I expected pouring rain ♪

♪ ♪

- Come on.

♪ ♪

- Are you mad?

- Sorry to scare you.

I had to come over the roof. - Why?

- We need to get out of here now.

- Fuck off. I'm not going anywhere with you.

- Listen. Can you hear that? [people shouting]

- Yes. So what?

I get that all the time. Fans are crazy.

- Yeah, but these fans have been given the same drug

they gave Jessica Thistle.

They've gone mad, and they're coming for you.

Now. - For me?

Why? - Well, I don't know.

But they don't want your fucking autograph.

- You're taking the piss. - Why would I do that?

- I don't know. I don't know.

Honestly, I don't know what goes on in your head.

Sometimes I think you must really hate me.

- Oh, give over. You know I don't.

I love you.

- [scoffs] Bollocks. Bollocks.

That's just a silly word to you.

You don't know what love is.

I know because I used to love you.

Used to. Now I hate you.

Seriously. Quite a lot, actually.

And I'm not going anywhere with you, thank you very much.

- Look, I don't blame you. I've been a right bastard.

- Sandra!

- We love you, Sandra!

- Uh, sorry. Yeah.

Listen.

I've been a right bastard,

but I'll make it up to you.

- One, two three... - Oh, please!

- Four, five, six.

Another throw.

- Ahh! Ahh.

- Yay, five! A ladder.

[tense music] [people shouting outside]

Your go, Daddy. [Gladys whimpers]

[door shuts]

Mummy! - Oh!

Hey, guys.

- Oh, thank goodness you're all right.

- So, um...

how did it go?

- Yes. Good. Yes.

Yeah. We got Lucius out, no problem.

- Good, um... [Gladys whimpers]

- The tea's rea--ready!

[mutters]

- Uh...

Well, I guess I'm just wondering what--

- Oh, yeah, what?

That half the city's gone insane? Yeah.

Yeah, we noticed that.

- Gladys tried to set the kitchen on fire.

- She did?

Mrs. P had to sit on her.

- Oh, God.

- Yeah, it was quite the drama.

- [whimpers]

- Um, can we--

- Yes.

- Your go, Mrs. P.

- Those afflicted appear

to be in their own little world,

with a great deal of violent presentation.

- Yep. Pretty safe bet it's Lullaby related.

- Yeah. - I mean, ironically enough,

this is also your father's fault.

- I'm not sure that's the correct use

of "ironically," but yes, the Wayne family strikes again.

So I suppose now we're responsible to save London.

- I guess if we could save London,

it would be our responsibility.

But we can't.

At least, I can't think of anything.

Can you? - No.

- Kay, well, I vote we get the hell out of town

for a couple of days at the seaside.

- Hallelujah.

A normal person sensible response.

Thank you. - You're welcome.

Just one question: how do we do that?

Get outta town?

- I-I have no idea.

- [laughs]

Are we good now?

I mean, you and me?

- You mean am I willing and able to live with a woman

who thinks she's a comic book detective?

- Mm, yeah.

I guess that's what I mean.

[dramatic music]

- Yes. I love you.

I don't know why, but I love you,

so the answer is--it's...

yes.

The question is, can a desperado like you

live with a man who wants peace and quiet

and a simple family life?

- No.

I'm kidding. [laughs]

I'm kidding. Yes. - Oh.

- Yes, I can.

With all my heart.

♪ ♪

[clattering]

[unintelligible chatter]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- I hear people coming.

♪ ♪

Oh, dear.

- Steady.

- Easy for you to say.

Killing people is your occupation.

♪ ♪

[cocks gun]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Oh, my gosh!

- What the fuck?

♪ ♪

- [panting] Hello, lads.

- All clear. Ready?

[glass shatters]

- Why do we have to go out there?

Couldn't we just hide in here somewhere?

- No, they're all over the building.

We can't risk it.

But the car's just down the road.

You'll be fine.

- I don't want to go out there.

- Trust me. You're safe as houses.

- I don't trust you. That's the problem.

You're not trustworthy. - Yeah, all right.

Fair play, but listen.

With this sort of business, you can trust me.

Look, I'm not gonna let any harm come to you

or our child.

Never. I promise.

- All right.

But just 'cause I'm coming with you now

doesn't mean we're made up. - Yeah.

- Or together or anything.

As far as I'm concerned, we're over.

- Yeah. All right. Whatever you say.

Now come on. - Exactly. Thank you.

You've proved my point. - What point?

- [sighs] "If you say so."

If you did love me, you'd tell me I'm wrong.

You'd fight me. - Fight you?

We're escaping from a mob of nutters.

I can't fight you now. I'll fight you later.

- Yeah, that's you.

Always avoiding the issue.

Always twisting your way out of being honest.

- I'm always honest with you.

- Really?

Who was the last woman you had sex with?

- Oh, leave off. - See?

Not me then.

Who was the little slut?

Did you love her too?

- What's that got to do with anything?

- Just be honest, Alfie.

I'm not moving until I hear something honest.

- Her name was Zara.

She was a client, all right?

You happy now?

- Zara?

[people shouting in distance]

Foreign, was she?

What'd she look like?

- Well, she-- [people shouting]

- Sandra! Sandra!

Sandra! - Sandra!

- Sandra! - Sandra!

[dramatic music]

[person screams] - Sandra!

Sandra! - Sandra!

- Get down here!

- Sandra!

Sandra!

♪ ♪

- Come on!

♪ ♪

- Gentlemen.

- Cheers, Mr. C.

- You're very welcome.

[engine roars]

- Aye-aye. - Who's this, then?

- It's all right. It's a friend.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Come on. Hello, chaps.

- All right.

- Get ready. Nutters on our tail.

Oh, Sandra, this is, um...

- Kevin.

It's so nice to meet you, Sandra.

Big fan.

- Hello.

[people screaming in distance]

- Cheers, Kevin.

See, I told you it would be safe.

- Thanks for your help.

Send me an invoice.

- Well, don't be like that.

Oh, fine. Be like that then.

[people shouting] - Sandra!

- Sandra! - Sandra!

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[guns blasting]

[people shouting]

[timer beeping]

- Come on. Come on!

[beeps]

[rhythmic drum music]

Follow me!

- There's no way up, sir.

The power's cut off, as Dr. Fox said.

If we tamper with the system,

the self-destruct protocol kicks in.

- Call the barracks.

Send in a squad topside

to get access and come down to us.

- Same problem applies, sir.

The self-destruct protocol will destroy

the whole facility.

- All right. All right!

Damn Aziz.

[phone beeps]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Hello? Hello?

Aziz? - Yes?

- What the devil do you think you're playing at?

- Who is this? - Don't play games with me.

You know damn well this is General Thursday.

- Thursday.

Nobody speaks to me in that tone.

What's the matter with you?

- Aside from imprisoning me and my soldiers,

You've released a mob of incredibly dangerous PWEs

onto the streets of London!

- I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.

- You better get us out of here pretty damn quick

or there'll be hell to pay!

Do you hear me?

- You threaten me?

Are you drunk?

Don't you know I can destroy you with a word?

- What do you mean by that?

- You know damn well what I mean,

you mutinous dog!

[phone chimes]

- My God. - Sir?

- Aziz wants me gone.

- Easier said than done, sir, I should say.

- Don't you see?

Aziz and that wretched scientist are in cahoots.

And that scientist designed the infrastructure here.

- Yes, sir?

- The self-destruct protocol, man.

The self-destruct protocol.

We're trapped inside a bomb.

And Aziz can blow us sky high.

[people shouting]

[glass shatters]

- Get Sandra! - We love you!

- Save him!

[glass shatters]

[hammer clicks]

- Christ.

I hate this.

Just poor souls off their heads.

- Well, on the bright side, we'll run out of ammo soon.

- We should send Sandra out there, eh?

Once they've had their way with the poor wee hen,

they'll leave us alone, I bet.

- Funny.

- You got a better idea?

[crowd shouting]

[baby whines]

- [softly] Hi.

Yeah? See your little rattle.

- Well, well, well.

- How you been keeping?

- Not so bad.

You? - Mustn't grumble.

- How long have you been sitting there?

- Not long.

- Well, why didn't you wake us?

- It were nice, watching you sleep.

That peaceful look on your face.

- Everybody said you were dead. I knew you were all right.

- More than I did. - I knew you'd be back.

I knew you wouldn't leave us to cope with a fucking baby.

- I wouldn't do that to you.

[baby coos] [chuckles]

Well, fair play, I would, but I didn't.

So...

She's all right, though, isn't she?

Hmm? [baby coos]

- She'll do.

- She's a right smasher.

I could bite you.

I could eat you all up.

[gasps] Boo!

- I won't ask what you've been at.

- You wouldn't believe us any road.

I killed John Salt. [baby coos]

I said I would, and I did.

- So I heard. I can't approve, but...

well, I'm glad you got it out of your system at least.

- I've been through the mill, Peg.

Through the fucking mill.

- You're a magnet for trouble, eh?

And you don't change.

- I have changed, though, sis.

[baby coos]

They did things to me.

- Men, eh? Fucking animals.

Let it bother you. [baby babbles]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- Speak. - Listen.

Before this goes too far,

we should talk. - I'm listening.

- I gather you think you have a strong hand.

But please remember, my friend,

I have my own, very powerful, resources.

- "My friend," he calls me.

I am your sovereign ruler!

Do you not agree?

- You are the lawful head of the government.

- Yes, I am.

And I will deal with you as I see fit!

And the people will applaud, no doubt.

- I'm willing to listen to your larger concerns

in good faith.

Tell me what you want.

- What do I want?

I want you servile or gone.

I have the power to get you gone.

Don't test my patience!

[phone chimes]

- This is a coup.

He means to set himself up as a dictator

and kill us all in the process.

Well, he won't get away with it.

Patch me through to bomber command.

- Yes, sir.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[people shouting]

[piano riff playing]

♪ ♪

- ♪ At first I was afraid, I was petrified ♪

♪ Kept thinking I could never life without you by my side ♪

♪ But then I spent so many nights ♪

♪ Thinking how you did me wrong ♪

♪ And I grew strong ♪ - Whoo-hoo!

- ♪ And I learned how to get along ♪

♪ And now you're back ♪

♪ From outer space ♪

♪ I just walked in to find you there ♪

♪ With that sad look upon your face ♪

♪ I should have changed that stupid lock ♪

♪ I should have made you leave your key ♪

♪ If I'd have known for just one second ♪

♪ You'd be back to bother me ♪

♪ Go on, now, go ♪

♪ Walk out the door ♪

♪ Just turn around now ♪

♪ 'Cause you're not welcome anymore ♪

♪ Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye? ♪

♪ Did you think I'd crumble? ♪

- I'm going out for some air.

- ♪ Oh, no, not I ♪

♪ I will survive ♪

[people shouting]

[muffled singing]

[soft melancholy music]

♪ ♪

♪ And I spent oh, so many nights ♪

♪ Feeling sorry for myself ♪

♪ I used to cry ♪

♪ But now I hold my head up high ♪

♪ And you see me ♪

♪ Somebody blue-- ♪

- Give us a song, Alfie!

- No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not singing.

All right, give us a minute. Give us a minute.

[music cuts off]

Now we've got some decisions to make.

[panting]

Now, that looney mob out there are not stopping,

and I'm not sure they will.

So I think we should get out of there.

Requisition a bus and head for the countryside.

Who's up for it?

[crowd murmurs in agreement]

All right, that's sorted then.

And one other thing.

[clears throat]

Sandra.

I've got something to say to you.

Now, I need to say it in front of these witnesses

so that you'll listen and believe me.

Now, I know you've got the hump on me, and rightly so.

I've been a right bastard over the years.

- Yeah, that's...

- And I know you don't think I can change, but I can.

I have changed. [crowd murmurs]

All right, don't take the piss. This is serious.

Here. [microphone feedback]

Look, I've changed, Sandra.

Now, I haven't the time

to tell you how or why right now, but...

what I do wanna say is...

Sandra Onslow...

will you marry me?

Now. Today.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Yeah.

[both laugh]

Yeah. [cheers and applause]

[glass shattering]

- ♪ Morning has broken ♪

♪ Like the first morning ♪

[grunting]

♪ Blackbird has spoken ♪

♪ Like the first bird ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Praise for them singing ♪

- Excuse us.

Is Mary here?

She wasn't at home.

- ♪ Praise for them springing ♪

- Lieutenant Giers speaking. How can I help you?

- This is General Thursday.

Prepare a missile for engagement.

- Very good, sir.

- Target, 10-40 Alpha.

- But General, that's Downing Street.

- I know it's Downing Street, damn you!

- ♪ Sweet the rain's new fall ♪

♪ Sunlit from heaven ♪

♪ Like the first dew fall ♪

[people shouting] ♪ On the first grass ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Praise for the sweetness ♪ - Sandra!

- Sandra!

- Come on, come on. Go. Ready?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Go, go! - ♪ Sprung in completeness ♪

♪ Where his feet pass ♪

- Do not stop.

♪ ♪

- On you get.

On you get.

[knocking on door]

- What the fuck?

- ♪ Mine is the sunlight ♪

- Thank you. - Hi.

- ♪ Mine is the morning ♪ - [laughs]

- ♪ Born of the one light ♪

♪ Eden saw play ♪ [jet roars]

♪ ♪

♪ Praise with elation ♪

♪ Praise every morning ♪

- Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate

the wedding of these two people.

They will publicly affirm their bonds here

in front of family and friends, old and new.

♪ ♪

[phone beeps]

- Stop plaguing me!

Damn you!

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[phone chimes]

- God have mercy on us.

♪ ♪

Go to final stage, target confirmed.

♪ ♪

[jet engine roaring]

[jet engine roaring] [rumbling]

[air raid siren wailing]

- ♪ Morning has broken ♪

- If anyone knows of any just cause

why they may not be joined together,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

Sandra Onslow, do you take Alfred Pennyworth

to be your lawful wedded husband?

- ♪ Praise for the singing ♪

- I do.

- ♪ Praise for the morning ♪

- Alfred Pennyworth, do you take Sandra Onslow

to be-- [explosion booms]

- ♪ Fresh from the word ♪

- Fucking hell.

♪ ♪

[adventurous music]

♪ ♪