Original subtitles

[ car horn honks ]

[ whistle blows ]

♪♪♪

LIBBY: Many thoughts had crossed Toby's mind in the hours

since he was informed that his missing wife

was, in fact, napping in the park.

But only one of them stuck.

It was -- How did he get here?

Literally, he had no memory of the end of the conversation

he had with Rachel's friends.

He had, apparently, purchased rotted watermelon

in his attempt to not appear so crazy,

and he had, apparently, somehow gotten home.

How did he get here?

How did he get back to his apartment?

But also, how did he get here?

It was a good question.

The story of the end of Toby and Rachel's marriage

starts with the beginning of it.

It starts with Toby, right at the beginning

of medical school, being dragged to a party

he didn't want to attend.

LIBBY: Hey. Hey.

It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun.

Yes.

[ Naughty By Nature's "Hip Hop Hooray" playing ]

SETH: Are you kidding?

I spent an entire year at Hebrew U.

Lo ichpat li.

Uh, ayn li savla. Lo todah.

[British accent] Young Judea's hottest alumnus stalks his prey.

Mah ha sha-ah, baby.

We are compadres.

We are comrades.

Using a terrible accent, he lures

the hot Israeli law student in her native habitat.

[British accent] His absent foreskin as bait,

the American draws her in closer.

Did you do time in the army?

LIBBY: She's entering his orbit.

She's in the danger zone.

Contact! And now, she is dinner.

[normal voice] I thought that they taught Israelis

defense skills in the military.

[normal voice] I don't think they trained them against Seth.

We were fast friends by then.

After our program in Israel ended,

we visited each other in college.

There could have been something between Toby and me,

I don't know, but my weirdness about relationships

and Toby's sense of himself as unlucky in the romantic arts

had followed him home through customs.

Alright, I'll find you. Alright.

By the time we all ended up at the business school party

at Columbia, Toby had just started medical school at NYU.

We're gonna meet up later.

She was in Sayeret Egoz.

That's guerilla warfare.

She told me something I really shouldn't say.

She knows who killed Rabin.

Yeah, everybody knows who killed Rabin.

She extra knows. I can't say more.

Well, maybe you shouldn't.

God, it's like you have a scent or something.

You just need to relax.

Is that really how it goes for you?

Like, women, they're just so attracted

to how relaxed you are?

You know, I would be very relaxed too if I had your luck.

Meaning if I was ejaculating as often as he --

No, I think we understood what you -- Yeah.

It's not luck. I know it's not.

I was just trying to, like, preserve my dignity here.

Did I tell you I bumped into

Jennifer Alkon the other day?

Ugh. Really? Yes.

We made up for lost time.

Ew. What I'm saying is fifth base.

Oh, no. One, two, three, four, five!

That's exactly -- that's, like, her thing.

So -- Ugh.

May you preserve your dignity...

Okay. ...upon your intrepid exploration

of the anus of Jennifer Alkon.

May you find yourself migrating onward from her perineum.

I will. I will.

God, he's, like, re-having sex with people and I'm what?

You're making anal sex jokes.

Shouldn't I have met somebody in college?

Isn't that where people meet?

Yes. No, not me. I --

I'm a good listener.

You know, I exercise. I'm in medical school.

I thought girls wanted doctors.

No, girls want to want doctors.

That's like -- That's our mothers' dream.

I personally want to free myself from every Jewish girl cliche.

Really? Yeah.

So, what do you want?

A lawyer. [ laughing ] Okay.

God, I have to go. I'm tired, and --

No. ...I have to study, and I know how this ends.

Why don't we get another drink?

Why are your cups empty?

Because I was having a Diet Coke.

You're having a -- That's not fun. Have the punch.

Do you have any idea what's in that punch?

Yeah. Fun.

Really? Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Come on.

It really was that easy with us.

But then, our friendships were never the problem.

It was the longing and pining for romantic relationships

that preoccupied us and maybe allowed us

to think that friends like this were easy to come by.

Lookit. He really does have a scent.

I know.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

Okay.

[ The Smashing Pumpkins' "Tonight, Tonight" plays ]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[ gags ]

[ laughs ]

Um, yes, I noticed that, like, you don't have any, uh, punch,

and I, um, I highly recommend it.

You threw yours out pretty fast.

Well, yeah, because I-I think the host

is actually trying to roofie me.

Oh. Yeah.

People used to make roofie jokes in the '90s.

I'm actually just concerned about,

um, whatever the ingredient is

that turns it that particular shade of purple.

Really? Yeah.

To me, it's the only reason to drink the stuff.

Well, I don't know.

I just don't want any future kids to, you know,

turn out smelling like purple.

[ laughs ]

What, are you -- are you, like,

in the artificial color racket or something?

[ chuckles ] Uh, no.

Um, I'm a business major.

Ah. Interesting. Are you, uh, finance?

No, I... Marketing, maybe?

Huh. I don't know.

I-I just, uh, finished this symposium on negotiating.

I loved it. That's cool.

Uh, negotiate with me.

I can't. It wouldn't be fair.

You'd -- You'd never win.

[ chuckles ] Really?

Ah, come on. Try me.

Um, I'd like four for the price of two.

I'm sorry, ma'am, you're gonna have to pay for all four.

I'll only be paying for two.

Hey, no deal.

What kind of Middle Eastern open-air market

do you think this is?

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

I'll give you six,

and you don't have to pay for any of them.

♪ In the resolute urgency of now ♪

♪ And if you believe there's not a chance

♪ Tonight

♪ Tonight

♪ Tonight, so bright

For Toby, it was the first time sex wasn't about sex.

♪♪♪

♪ Believe in me as I believe in you ♪

It was about her.

♪ Tonight

And that was that.

♪ Tonight, tonight

♪ Tonight

♪ Tonight

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Hi.

You found the bathroom.

[ laughing ] Yeah. Hi.

I got you food. I got you food.

Toby showed her his stuff.

NARRATOR ON TV: ...the physical phenomenon produced

by the motion of electric charge...

"Creates an attraction that is beyond will."

I love this part.

Look, the magnet just, like...

[ chuckles ] It, like, can't.

It has to. It can't, like, stop itself.

LIBBY: They spent two days alone in their own private universe.

Sorry. [ laughs ]

Just, like -- that's what magnets do.

♪♪♪

They walked together, miles and miles that weekend.

One of the things he loved most

about New York was walking.

All he'd ever wanted was someone to walk with him.

She was everything he thought a girl should be,

even if he'd never known to pray quite so specifically.

You're, like, so exotic to me. I am?

Yeah, you are.

I have blonde hair and green eyes.

I'm the opposite of exotic.

Well, you didn't go to my Jewish Day School.

That's all I know. Everyone there looked like

my mother or my sister. I am Jewish.

My father wasn't, but my mother was.

Aren't those the rules? I don't know.

I-I don't have any rules.

♪♪♪

Hey, okay.

What?

Listen to this.

Okay. [ chuckles ]

Thank you.

[ acoustic guitar music plays ]

Wait, sorry. Is this...

N-- N-No. No?

Don't laugh. Okay.

If you laugh, you're a cynic.

I am, a little bit. Just -- Just listen.

♪ She was morning

♪ And I was nighttime

♪ I one day woke up

♪ To find her lying beside my bed ♪

And she taught him her things.

♪ I softly said...

RACHEL: You're doing great. TOBY: A little -- Okay.

[ laughs ] It's just like walking, but...

impossible.

You're doing amazingly well.

Feeling less and less comfortable.

It's brilliant. Okay.

You know, I can't believe how much I like you.

Aww. Thanks. No, really.

Like, I-I never get sick of you.

Shit. Shoot.

Sorry.

What I was going to say is that, like, I never get sick of you.

Really. Like, I'm nostalgic for this moment already.

[ laughs ] It's crazy. Really.

♪ I don't know where come lately ♪

[ laughs ]

What do you say we not go back out there?

We stay here?

♪ You are the sun, I am the moon ♪

♪ You are the words, I am the tune ♪

♪ Play me

Yeah. [ laughs ]

Okay, so, you see -- so, my septum is crooked...

Yeah. ...but if I sleep with my finger on my nose,

then my pathways are clear and I don't snore.

Really? Mm-hmm.

That's an amazing plan.

It occurred to him that if this was how long

he'd had to wait to find love...

[ snoring ]

...he regretted nothing.

At night, they whispered their pasts to each other.

But of course, she moved to Israel,

and, you know, she took it way too far

and now she's, like, Orthodox

and she's gonna have like a million babies.

You're so lucky to have family.

I only have one memory of my mom.

Just this image of a woman on a couch.

But I think she loved me a lot.

Like, I c-- I can't remember a scene of it, but...

but I remember it.

Or maybe what I actually remember

is that my grandmother didn't love me.

I mean, not -- not that she didn't.

It's just...

...she can't really love.

And I remember pining for my mother, which...

...which I guess means I felt loved by her.

How could anybody not love you?

[ praying in Hebrew ]

Toby took Rachel to Los Angeles to meet his family.

♪ Amen

- Amen. - Amen.

You do this every week?

Yeah. Every week.

What happens if you have to be somewhere else?

Where else would you have to be?

SHARON: Here you go, honey.

Oh. Thank you.

Take a piece. TOBY: No, thank you.

Take a piece. You're too skinny.

You look old. Yeah, I know.

I have an eating disorder face, from --

Y-You see? You see how he punishes me?

You were happier fat?

Oh, listen, it's my favorite song.

I hadn't heard it since you moved.

[ quietly ] I want this.

And suddenly, even the ways he felt his mother ruined his life

didn't matter to him, for he was no longer hers.

He was Rachel's.

This is really good.

For Fleishman was in love.

What do you think? [ laughs ]

I think you're great. Yeah.

I probably couldn't represent a -- a country, but...

This was it for Toby. This was the end.

His story had a happy ending.

Oh. Oh!

Um...

"In magnetism, the physical phenomenon

produced by the motion of electric charge

creates an attraction that is beyond" --

Yes! Really?

Yes! Oh! Oh!

Things had worked out for Toby Fleishman.

It was all settled.

Now his life would be great.

♪ And so it was

And it was. For a long time, it was.

Plastics, you get to choose your hours, though.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm not getting into this

to make, like, sad women look younger, you know?

Like, and sadder.

Well, you could make them look happier.

Yeah? Sew their faces into a smile.

Ooh. Ooh, that's actually really good.

Yeah, that could be like my niche.

Hey. Hmm?

Look at that. That's -- That's kind of perfect.

Yes, yes. Yes, it is.

Yes, this is great. Here.

Oh. Wait. Okay.

You okay? Yeah, perfect.

And we have, yeah, different flavors of gum.

Ew, it's gross. It's fine.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll make it less gross.

Alright. Uh...

I was gonna make it more gross.

[ laughs ] Okay. Okay?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Oh, no. Okay. Yeah. yeah, got it.

Grocery bag. Grocery bag.

Alright. Okay.

You could help fix cleft palates in the summers

in underserved regions.

TOBY: Yeah, I don't want to, like, spend my summers

living in apology for my life.

Uh, being a doctor is a good thing.

It's like a -- it's a righteous thing in the world.

Now, tell me again, please,

about the righteous work of medicine.

I put these glasses on so I could listen very carefully.

Oh, that's really nice. That's really nice.

Yeah.

No, I-I-I just think you should think about the future

and what it's gonna look like in a few years.

Interesting point. Just one second.

Okay, sorry, go on.

No, no, please. [ both laugh ]

No, tell me the future of the healthcare industry.

[ laughs ]

Even then, she was trying to steer him

towards something he never claimed to want.

[cellphone ringing ] She, however, needed no steering.

He watched her ascend through the agency hierarchy.

He watched her enjoy the performative

assholery of the work.

Rachel Fleishman. No, no, no, no, no.

Matt will come to the phone never if you keep that up.

Oh, shit, man. You are nuts.

This is Rachel Fleishman from Matt Klein's office.

I'm calling to set up a...

Toby still felt erectile stirrings

hearing his name on the back of hers.

I said he would circle back when he was ready to get into it.

But now, they were combined with real feelings of neglect.

Uh, yes.

And at night, he joined her as she prowled the city

for some unseen, unspoken-for artist.

She's a gas station attendant

who taught herself opera from a book.

Really? Well, if we make it

out of here alive, you can make her a star.

How did you even hear of this?

There's a newspaper, the Canarsie Courier,

and it had listings.

She was looking for someone to do the music.

Hmm. So, that-- that's how you find someone to do music?

Well, apparently not.

[ chuckling ] Yeah.

It's about suffrage.

We can suffrage through it together.

Shh. It's about to start.

The New York Times called us the suffragettes,

even though the real word is "suffragist."

"Suffragette," of course, makes us into the light,

low-fat version of a person.

"Suffragettes" puts us back in the kitchenette,

like we were just womenette or sisterettes.

Toby never understood what Rachel saw in things

that he didn't find very compelling or moving,

but that was her gift.

She had a deep understanding of what people wanted,

and sometimes, she weaponized it.

And sometimes, she ignored it.

But she also used it in service of her game.

She looked at Alejandra Lopez

and she knew she would be a star.

A vindictive bitch, a silly little slattern.

Well, which is which?

Rachel brought her boss, Matt Klein, to the show.

Matt was a different creature than Toby.

This is good.

You got lucky in this life,

but don't forget, you're just the wife.

Matt took Alejandra on, and The Suffrage Monologues

played 20 sold-out shows at The Public.

Then 20 more.

Where are you? TOBY: Yeah, I'm so sorry.

We lost a patient.

She was young.

People around here are taking it pretty hard.

Y-You couldn't have called?

Yeah. No, I'm so sorry.

I just totally lost track of time.

This wasn't like a small complaint --

She was under a lot of pressure.

♪♪♪

Why is there no food in here?

Well, we just had dinner.

So, what couple doesn't fight?

We had steamed chicken. Again.

I'm looking for something with caloric content.

So I can live.

Yeah, well, I can make you something else.

I'm really happy to.

God, you have no idea how hard I was working today.

All I wanted was to come home to dinner.

And you did? Well, did I?

Rachel, we live in Manhattan.

I can get you, like, whatever you want.

So, maybe Rachel was a little more vicious

than she needed to be.

Forget it. I don't have time.

I'll eat more chicken.

How did I end up married to a man with the food issues

of a teen pageant queen?

Ugh.

[ scoffs ]

What couple doesn't fight?

And then there was this -- Rachel simply didn't like us.

When it came to our friendship,

Rachel was like an organ transplant that didn't take.

Great, okay, so he's always had these, like, themed parties, right?

Like a frat boy? Well, yeah.

He's had toga parties before, yes, but also, sometimes,

he'll have, like, you know, some professor from MIT

give a lecture on calculus.

And that's fun for you?

Yes. Really.

SETH: Hey! You two, you made it.

Hi. Nice to see you.

Are you supposed to be Hugh Hefner?

That's offensive. I'm sorry.

I'm Larry Flynt.

Oh. I-I'm sorry.

But Hugh Hefner, I guess.

Gang's all here! Hey.

Wait, you guys, you didn't dress up.

Eh, neither did you.

Oh! Nice one.

RACHEL: We just came from work.

We -- We can't stay long.

Oh. Wait, um... Wait, what am I forgetting?

Uh, that thing for my client.

Yeah.

[ Fatboy Slim's "The Rockafeller Skank" playing ]

♪♪♪

I made your favorite.

- Ah! Hey! - That's funny.

Oh, that's not nice.

Well, it's a little nice.

Yeah. I was starving.

[ chuckles ]

I'm sorry, where's the bathroom?

I'll show you. Come here.

Uh, I'll be right back. Okay.

♪♪♪

I haven't seen you in like four months.

I got married.

It gets busy when you get married.

Oh, it's busy when you get married.

Yeah. You got to make decisions.

You have to choose what your life is.

You wouldn't understand.

We got to the theater all the time,

and then you get out and it's 11:00

and the only place that's open is this place, uh, Joe Allen,

so we go there and all of her colleagues are there,

and, I don't know, I want to be a good spouse, you know?

If I have to choose, I want to choose to make her happy.

I want to... Yeah, I want to choose her.

Why -- I mean, why do you have to choose in the first place?

Like, why are you choosing at all?

RACHEL: That line is way too long.

Actually, I realized the thing's at 7:00.

It's not at 8:00. Oh, no.

The thing's at 7:00.

Um... Are you ready?

Yeah. Yeah.

So, um, I will see you soon. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Do you want my plate of...

Right. Bye.

Sorry. It was really nice to see you, Libby.

So good to see you.

♪♪♪

The last time Toby and I were alone before this summer

was almost 13 years ago,

when I'd published an essay in a small anthology.

"It hadn't been that long since I had asked

that question myself,

but let me tell you, in the interest of self-preservation,

I recommend not asking more than once."

He came to my first ever reading.

Whoo!

You know, I always remember

hoping you would get out of your own way.

I was just worried you were too crazy to truly do it.

Really? Yes, yes.

I'm proud of you.

Here's to late bloomers.

Do you ever hear yourself?

What? What's wrong?

[ sighs ] My God.

Jesus, Elizabeth. Who smokes anymore?

Um, can I have one?

You mind if I -- Can I borrow this?

Thank you. What are you doing?

Oh, just so Rachel doesn't smell the smoke.

Wow.

What? What a man you are.

Excuse me, that is sexual harassment.

BOTH: And I don't have to take it anymore.

That's right. I just...

Be careful.

You're...changing faster than the rest of us.

[ chuckles ] Excuse me? What does that mean?

It means I miss you, is what it means.

Oh. It means don't be an asshole.

Libby was smoking.

What's wrong?

[ laughs ]

Rachel.

Oh, Rachel.

[ Rachel laughs, sobs ]

This is amazing. I can't believe it.

We just, like, started trying.

I know. I know.

Oh, come here.

I think it's twins.

[ laughs ] Oh, no.

No, it's just one.

[ rain patters, thunder rumbles ]

The baby was all Toby thought about.

He wanted to play classical music for her

so she'd come out a cellist.

He wanted to feed Rachel folic-acid-rich foods

so the baby would come out a junior at Stanford.

[ door opens ]

Hi, where have you been?

What are you, the Gestapo?

What? No.

I just -- I tried you a few times.

I couldn't get a cab in the rain.

Oh, my God. Look at you. You're soaking wet.

Wait, wait, wait. Hey.

Okay, come on in.

[ thunder rumbles ]

Honey, do you want to tell me what happened?

I was passed over.

Sorry, what? Who? Who got it?

Harry, of course.

No. Stop it. You deserved it.

Hey, come here.

Okay. Here.

Here, come on. What are you doing?

I'm not a baby, Toby. You're soaking. Come on.

I can undress myself. Okay.

Okay.

It's not about deserving it. I'm being punished.

What do you mean?

Matt Klein hit on me two years ago.

What? Matt Klein, your boss?

Yes, the only Matt Klein I know.

Ech. Oh.

God. When? How?

It was that party two years ago.

What party?

The Christmas party.

Eh... With the ice sculptures.

Oh.

Really? Oh, God.

I was there for that. I was there for that.

No, it's -- it's his thing.

Oh, it's his thing? Of course.

No, it's his thing, like -- like -- like rollerblading

can be your thing, or French pastry making.

Of course. It's a hobby. W-W--

Whatever.

But I-I said no,

and I was worried it was gonna be awkward,

but then I thought things were normal,

and I-I respected him for that, you know?

Really? Are you -- Are you --

I-I can't believe I was there for that.

Of course, I remember we were standing by Harry's office,

and he came over and he said,

"Hey, do you mind if I borrow our girl here?"

Our girl. Like you're ours.

- It's how people talk, Toby. - No, it's not.

It's how people sexually harass you.

God, of course. I remember.

He put his hand on the small of your back,

and I remember thinking it was so crazy,

but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want

to sound patriarchal. I'm an idiot.

He was playing the long game.

He -- He was promoting me just enough so I wouldn't sue.

Jesus, Harry Sacks hasn't closed a deal in months.

And he knows you have a husband, and here I am at home,

making soup like an asshole, not expecting any of this.

It was retribution, all of it.

He was angry I hadn't told him I was pregnant.

He was angry I didn't want to fuck him.

Yeah, did you remind Matt that you have a husband?

That's he's met me? That he knows me? Remind him.

Can we deal with how this is all about you later?

I'm still focused on the "this happened to me" thing.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm sorry.

I'm just, like... I'm just, like, in shock.

Sorry.

Yeah, let me get you some soup.

No, I don't want soup. I-I want Tony's.

I want linguini in clam sauce.

No, you're not supposed to have clams.

But you can, if you want to.

Hi. Um...

Uh, we're going to 82nd and 2nd.

Thanks.

[ Sighs ] You know, it stopped raining.

We could've walked. I didn't want to walk.

Oh. No, I get it.

I mean, it's been a-a rough night.

No, I'm saying for good.

I'm tired of long walks. I don't like them.

It's a waste of my time.

The Fleishmans never went on a long walk again.

Five months later, Rachel was admitted to the hospital

with high blood pressure.

She was given Pitocin for an induction,

but 14 hours in,

she hadn't progressed beyond two centimeters.

Just try to picture dilation, okay?

Open waters. Open fields.

Sunrise. Shut up.

Please, just shut up.

Uh, who is he? Who...

Sorry, who are you? Who are you?

I'm Dr. Romalino.

Sorry, where's -- where's Dr. Goldberg?

Dr. Goldberg is in Hawaii for the week.

No. No. I-I want my regular doctor.

Yeah, it's okay. Hi, I'm Dr. Fleishman.

I'm a -- I'm a resident up on gastro.

Nice to meet you. I'm who you got.

Can I see her chart?

Do you have absolutely no pull here?

You work here.

[ knock on door ]

We heard you were here.

[quietly] Away. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Hey. Guys, hi.

Thank you so much for coming.

Um, yeah, here. Come over here.

This is not exactly the laugh riot

that they promised us. RESIDENT 2: This is how it goes.

You remember the OB, with the, uh...

Husband who was the dancer?

Oh, yes. Uh, "and all that jazz."

Listen -- I gotta go, but hey, listen, really,

thank you so much for this.

Good luck. Thank you.

Bye.

Get him away from me. What -- What -- What happened?

He did something! Get him out!

Okay, I think we might need to get psych in here.

What -- What did you do? What happened?

Are you planning on being a baby, or delivering a baby?

Hold on a minute. That's not how you talk to a patient.

What? A patient? What...

Toby later found out what had happened.

The doctor had intentionally ruptured her membrane

and broken her water without her consent.

Anyone could have predicted the rest.

♪♪♪

[ baby fusses ]

Okay. Thank you.

Okay.

Is it okay?

The head. Yes, of course. Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Hi, honey.

He understood then that this wasn't just a bad delivery.

She was hurt.

That night, he wanted to kill the doctor

for what he'd done to Rachel,

but someone had to watch the baby.

You should hold her.

How can I hold the baby when I can't feel my legs?

You really should hold her now.

Okay. Give her to me.

Okay.

Okay.

Toby waited for things to get back to normal.

His family visited, excited to meet the new baby,

but Rachel felt compelled

to tell each visitor about the birth.

Well, our usual doctor was in Hawaii, of course.

And so, I'm propped there, I'm writhing in pain,

when this guy -- he takes his hands

and he tells me he's only gonna examine me, but the minute

Toby leaves the room, he starts to examine me,

but he's not -- he's not really examining me.

Like, he's doing something.

Like, it -- Like, it hurts, you know?

And then he broke my water.

Not -- Not a word to me.

Nothing. Terrible.

That's terrible.

No, it was. It was terrible.

And then, while his hands were up inside me,

I kicked the doctor,

and he went flying across the room to the wall.

It wasn't true.

Toby wanted to ask her why she said it,

but she seemed too delicate.

She was wearing the same pair of sweatpants

since she'd gotten home, so he let it be.

TOBY: Here you go.

Hi, honey. Mm!

God, what a nice thing to see you two

in the middle of the day.

They were in my prenatal yoga.

You want to go over?

Where'd they learn to play with their babies like that?

They didn't teach us that in the class.

Something was very wrong.

[ baby fussing ]

She's not smiling yet, and the --

the book said that at six weeks --

Well, smiling's an imitative behavior.

So, you have to be smiled at in order to smile back.

Are you smiling at her?

Yeah. Yeah.

[ muffled sob ]

Have you talked to someone?

Yeah, I know. I keep telling her.

You have to take care of yourself here, Rachel.

It's like they say on the airplane --

in an emergency, you secure your own oxygen mask

before you secure the children's.

You can't help them if you can't breathe yourself.

Hey. [ sobbing ] I ruined her.

No. Stop that. Stop that.

Don't... Honey, don't say that.

Seriously. This is normal.

Like, a lot of mothers go through this.

You know, you a-- you actually should go.

You know how I feel about therapy. I do know.

Rachel, that is like -- it's so archaic, honey.

It's for rich people --

BOTH: ...who don't even realize they don't have problems.

Yes, I know. I know.

But you -- can you just try it?

God.

Fine. Fine.

I'll go, okay?

God, you're like the Gestapo.

No, I'm -- I'm not.

That's not really how the Gestapo worked, honey.

He knew what was happening to her wasn't in her control,

and he didn't blame her.

But she was really missing out.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh.

Hey.

How was it?

Fine.

I don't love sharing in groups, but yeah, it was fine.

Whatever. [ sighs ]

No, I-I'm not talking about it.

If you're gonna make me go there and talk about it

and then I have to talk to you about talking about it,

you can kill me now.

Hm. Okay. Well, I'm just...

happy to hear it worked.

You can go again Thursday.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[ door opens ]

TOBY: Hello? Rachel?

[ door closes ]

Have you been out at all today?

Have I?

No.

I thought you were doing better.

No, I am. I'm just -- I'm...

I'm so tired.

And I feel like -- I don't know.

I feel like I'm in the... the wrong gear or something.

Hey, listen, I have to say this.

I think you should see someone.

A therapist.

Not -- Not a support group, okay?

But a person, and maybe even a psychiatrist.

They have medications -- No, enough about therapy.

Toby, I don't need therapy.

What I need is help with this baby.

Oh.

Well, then, that's okay.

That's great.

Let's get us a nanny.

[ baby cries ]

So, uh, Raya Edelman said you're just great.

Mm-hmm. Her children are beautiful.

But they're older now.

Well, it's really nice that you get to help out.

Right, Rach?

It's an amazing thing to see children grow.

It's a privilege. Mm.

Ooh. May I hold her?

It's okay. It's okay.

Sorry, that is amazing. How did you do that?

I have a calm energy.

Huh.

Well, I think you're hired.

♪♪♪

And things seemed to get better from there.

And then, just over a month later...

Mona.

MONA: Hello, Mr. Toby.

Where's Rachel?

She went out.

Huh.

Is that formula?

Yes, Mr. Toby.

Okay.

Alright.

I got her. Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Okay, well, have a good night, okay?

It turned out, earlier that morning,

after Toby left for work,

Rachel had decided that her maternity leave was over.

She decided to leave Alfooz & Lichtenstein,

raid its staff, poach its most bankable client,

and start a whole new agency.

She stayed out until 4:00 AM that night

with her new employees at 8-1/2,

celebrating the creation of Fleishman & Company,

a new theater-focused agency

that was small enough to give its clients

the attention they needed to be able to thrive.

ANNOUNCER ON TV: This product, whether you wipe in circles

or in streaks, what have you,

it will stake off any streaks, any smudges,

any dirt that you have, and it does it with ease.

Does not even require...

You changed.

LIBBY: And that was that.

Meanwhile, Toby's career was continuing apace,

but his support of his wife's ambition was costing him.

He couldn't take the lead on research.

He couldn't have drinks with the other doctors after work,

so that he could go home and relieve Mona.

It felt like everyone around him

was catapulting somehow higher and faster.

He'd heard his old med school rival, Aaron Schwartz,

had made subdivision head at Methodist.

But Aaron Schwartz didn't have a wife

who saw three new Broadway shows premiere

the same year she delivered a second child.

Aaron Schwartz didn't get to take pride

in watching someone he loved

build something massive and important.

Toby felt lucky.

Not because of the money.

That wasn't important to him.

But because he got to spend this time with his kids.

They had these great kids.

He worried Rachel would look back on this time

and regret it.

[ laughter ] TOBY: Oh, my God!

Can you guys keep it down?

[ kids chattering ]

Maybe.

It's a preschool interview.

Why does this have to be a bloodsport

like everything else that you touch?

It's a kindergarten interview.

Mm. It's serious.

This is where her future gets determined.

Okay. You have to be someone.

You have to show you come from somewhere.

Mm. So, uh, what's our story?

Our story? I don't know. That we're good people?

That we'll pay their ridiculous tuition?

I don't know. Oh, come on. Really.

I mean it. Be serious.

Okay.

[ cellphone buzzes ]

[ sighs ]

Uh, yes, yes.

No, no, no. I'm -- I'm -- I'm here.

You have to go with your gut, Alex. You just do.

I mean, look what your gut has given the world so far.

Hey, we're in the middle of something.

Okay.

Uh, no, no.

No, let's... let's figure it out.

Okay, so, you've got -- you've got these two characters

who are not only trying to overcome this --

Alright, I'm going to the gym.

They're -- They're inside a world

that's changing faster than they want it to, right?

[ indistinct conversations ]

So, did you go to school in New York?

Uh, just for college. I grew up in Baltimore.

Baltimore? [ chuckles ]

Hi.

Hi. Is this Toby?

TOBY: This is Toby.

Rachel tells me you're a doctor.

Mm-hmm. Good for you.

Hi. Oh, thanks. This is Rachel's husband, Toby.

He's a doctor.

Oh, a doctor.

Good for you.

So, we're gonna go upstairs. We'll start with refreshments.

God, does a 5-year-old really need all this?

Just look around here. Like...

Hi.

This is a place where they'll thrive.

Look at this place. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

I keep thinking, like, what would have happened to me

if I had gone to a school like this?

I-I would have had a place in the world.

Yeah, I know. I just don't know if they need

to be in such an elitist world. You came from nothing.

Look at what an ambition monster you are.

Maybe you're only successful because you came from nothing.

I don't know. Did you ever think of that?

That's what you want for our kids?

To be forced into my Great Expectations upbringing

in order to give them character?

No, thanks. I don't need all this character.

Who would you be in Great Expectations?

Sorry, would you be Pip?

Would you be the street urchin, Pip?

Toby, how can you argue with me

wanting for them to have everything?

Yeah, this isn't everything.

Look, okay, I know you want them to have roots,

and if you think this would --

I just -- I just want them to be safe in the world.

I want them to not have such a hard time.

Rachel, how much safer can they get?

Don't you see this is why I do all of this?

I do what I do so they can have all this.

I feel like you're not even trying to convince me anymore.

I feel like you're just telling me how it is.

No, that's not true.

Okay, I believe in public school as a value.

You're trying to make me say that I don't,

and I'm not falling for it.

Alright.

Alright, whatever you want, Rachel.

Really.

Thank you.

Really. Okay.

Um... Oh.

♪♪♪

I'm, uh, Rachel Fleishman. We have, uh --

We have two kids who I think would just be so happy here.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Rachel couldn't compete with donations

or her name on classrooms,

and she hadn't gone to the same country clubs

and tennis camps that all the other parents

seemed to have gone to together when they were children.

But that didn't stop her from using what she could to climb.

She bought their friendship, one house seat at a time.

[ all speaking indistinctly ]

Then it was 10 years of small moments

that added up to a lot.

♪♪♪

Rachel became more consumed

by her drive for wealth and success

until he didn't recognize her anymore.

Or himself.

Toby liked to say that the end of his marriage

happened like the fall of Rome.

Slowly, then all at once.

This was the night of "all at once."

♪ And so it was

♪ That I came to travel

♪ Upon a road

♪ That was thorned and narrow

♪ Another place

♪ Another grace

RACHEL: Philadelphia? TOBY: Yes.

The head of the department. The top.

What happened to "patient interface"?

It would mean a lot more money for me.

You know, you're always saying you want me to make more money.

Well, we would live like kings in Philly.

Just outside Philadelphia.

Doing what exactly?

I'm a talent agent. For theater.

It might be the change we need.

I mean, this is too -- You're working too much, Rach.

I have an agency. I have employees.

Well, something has to change.

You're never here. The kids don't see you.

Last week, when Solly had the state report --

No, no, do not bring up the state report. Please.

I love my work.

I've built something I love.

Do you understand that?

To take that away from me because you want what?

More attention? What? No. Excuse me.

I want what's best for us, okay? Oh, what a coincidence.

That means choosing what's best for you.

Alright.

I'm -- I'm happy.

We finally have a real apartment.

Our kids are in a feeder school.

My -- My job is infinitely more rewarding

than being sexually harassed by a middle-management dipshit.

I run the largest small theater agency in all of New York.

[ laughs ] No, you couldn't --

you couldn't understand how -- how rare and important that is

because your entire life has been laid out for you.

Ah. The greatest hits. No.

Med school, intern, resident --

BOTH: ...fellow, attending.

Yeah.

You don't have to strategize or plan or make connections.

The system does that for you.

I don't have that luxury.

Everything I have, I've had to scratch for.

I mean, even now.

No, I'm not moving anywhere, Toby.

I couldn't earn this much anywhere.

Yeah, well, money doesn't buy you happiness.

Oh, Toby, of course it does!

What, are you crazy?

[ cellphone rings ]

He prayed she wouldn't answer it.

He said, "Please, God, don't let her answer it.

Please, God, let her find this more important.

Please, God, let her find us more important.

Please, God, let her find me more important."

Rachel Fleishman.

God damn it.

CYNDI: Amazing.

- Is that oregano? - Um...

TOBY: Uh, marjoram. CYNDI: Oh!

With a-a touch of tarragon.

I'd love to see you make a meal.

Well, it is so good.

Hey, did anyone figure out

if the USY summer thing is still bad?

I thought you might have a little more self-respect

than making sure everybdy knows you cooked the meal.

Yeah, but I did cook the meal.

I could cook a meal if I didn't have to work day and night.

I cooked to impress your stupid friends

and you're still disappointed.

You know, I just realized, you don't even know

you're trying to humiliate me.

Do you guys need help in there?

No, thanks. Almost got it.

You know what? Why don't you put the dessert out,

because you worked so fucking hard on it?

Mine is George Stephanopoulos.

His is Naomi Campbell.

[ laughter ] TODD: Whoa. Still?

She must be, what, in her 50s?

ROXANE: 40s. RICH: 60s!

[ laughter ]

Well, mine is Mark Wahlberg. Gross.

TODD: You see what I have to deal with here?

No, there is something about him. I could save him.

Guy's a fast-food billionaire. He doesn't need to be saved.

Okay. No.

Mine used to be Ariana Grande.

- Okay. - Hmm.

I just like someone who looks like she's a little too good

for me, you know?

Like my beautiful wifey here.

Mm, you're just saying that so

I'll forget your free pass is an actual child.

Do you have anyone who is of a normal age?

She's in her 20s. She just looks younger.

Is that supposed to be better?

Ooh.

Who's your free pass, Rachel?

RACHEL: What do you mean? Free pass.

Who you would sleep with if Toby turned a blind eye.

Oh, God. This is what we're talking about?

Come on. We've all answered.

Sam Rothberg.

Oh.

What? What? What did I say that's wrong?

[ laughing ] Ah!

Okay, you're supposed to pick a celebrity.

You're not supposed to pick someone you know.

RICH: Suddenly, Ariana Grande doesn't seem so bad, huh?

CYNDI: It's fine.

So, uh, what should we discuss next?

Politics or religion?

[ laughter ] Stop. Stop.

This looks fabulous, you guys.

Absolutely. And that was that.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

And that's when it hit him.

♪♪♪

Sam Rothberg.

Sam fucking Rothberg.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Rachel wasn't gone.

She wasn't in danger.

She was with the one person who represented

everything Toby hated on the Upper East Side.

In the whole world! She was with...

Sam Rothberg.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪