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1
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Previously on rick and morty.
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Jerry I had sex with your wife.
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I did it, I fixed portal travel.
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Jack the Ripper, at your service.
5
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-Cool.
-This happened too?
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-I’m pregnant.
-Honey, she’s just like you.
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-It’s raining meatballs.
-Okay something is...
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Jerry Smith died doing what he loved,
getting stung by bees.
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-Off.
-Off what?
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Have some respect, it’s Dad’s funeral.
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I’m gonna name you Jerry Jr.
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Thanks for solving that murder guys,
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-here’s a skateboard.
-Thanks Tony Hawk.
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-Morty, say you’ll marry me.
-What?
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00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,161
-What?
-Just say yes!
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-Yes?
-Okay.
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-Rick, do you promise to...
-I do and for our honeymoon
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let's go to a sealed chamber
lined with ionized deuterium!
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-Why?
-Because the charge acts
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as a narrative decelerant.
Morty, none of this is real,
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we’re in a Previously On spiral,
clear your head.
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-After all that’s happened?
-No.
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I’m innocent! I didn’t release those bees!
I love Jerry!
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What’d I just say?
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-When?
-Okay, great execution,
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let’s go back to the chamber.
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Now repeat after me, Morty:
Next time on Rick and Morty.
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Next time on Rick and Morty?
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-No. Previously on Rick and Morty.
-Ignore it, Morty.
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Next time on Rick and Morty.
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-It counteracts his toxins.
-Next time on Rick and Morty.
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-Whose toxins?
-Hey stop it!
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Previous Leon. Grab him!
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Hold on tight, Morty! We gotta get
through the opening titles!
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Opening titles of what?
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-We’re in space.
-Let go of me.
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Oh my god! Oh my god!
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-What planet is this?
-Cover you eyes on this part!
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Oh my god, it’s a giant squirrel
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Why are we dressed like old timey people?
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-What the hell’s going on?
-Oh my god, no way.
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Why is my dad in a suit?
43
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-Best episode!
-Who is that?
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OK, we’re almost through.
45
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And we’re back!
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-Stop! Let go of me!
-What just happened?
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Why was there music?
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Because of this conceptual little
piece of shit! Grab his feet!
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If we have opening titles,
does that mean that we’re a...
50
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,125
Let your body purge the meta-venom,
Morty, don’t succumb to his
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-pointless self aware bullshit.
-It’s not pointless, it’s cool!
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-He’s got a gun!
-Eat lead, pussy!
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No no no! Fuck!
54
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-Son of a...
-Did he use a portal?
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He wishes. He wriggled back
to the meta layer through a hole
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in the fourth wall.
Put these on and help me find it.
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I don’t like this, Rick.
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You shouldn’t,
it’s not a likable premise.
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I mean it’s funny when
I do a little nod to viewers
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-but...
-What viewers?
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That’s the right attitude, Morty.
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A few carefree verbal asides,
always by me,
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none of this Season Three
Moonlighting shit.
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-Okay, here it is.
-You’re going to patch it?
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No, he subverted actual reality, Morty,
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he needs to be put down like a rabid dog.
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-Fuck!
-Oh yeah,
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no, you don’t wanna wear those over here.
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Maybe he went down that road?
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No no no, if he took that he’d end
up a hero.
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Dammit, Rick. I don’t like this.
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-is this whole place just...
-A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay
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for seven TV critics
that won’t even enjoy it?
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It’s worse than you think, Morty,
we’re basting in meta radiation right now,
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our credibility is being
permanently eroded,
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every second we spend here is the
equivalent to ten Space Jam cameos.
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-You should've thought of that previously
-Get him!
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Oh no! Bless me Heavenly Father
for you will save me...
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Now I feel bad.
Let’s just get out of here.
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Because he prays?
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You know Hitler was Catholic, right?
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I’m here, Leon.
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Okay. He apparently prays very well.
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-Time for you two to meet the Lord.
-That’s okay, we’re good.
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Treat it like a bear attack, just walk
backwards and make yourself look big.
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I love a good refusal of the call.
Hello, Rick.
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-Hello, Amish Juggler?
-His name is Story Lord.
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Story Lord?
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Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler,
you can have it.
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Story Lord. Rick, he’s the villain from
that toy train I bought you.
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00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,452
Very good, Morty. The fictional
versions of you trapped me
92
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in a Bible show for children
but I used make-believe Christ
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to transcend fiction
and enter meta-reality.
94
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Now I’m the one doing the trapping
Leon was the bait.
95
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-Bait?
-Jesus?
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Never dumb mother!
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You’re using Jesus to beat us up?
Have you seen South Park?
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Good call-out, Morty,
that’s the kind of meta I like,
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the kind that keeps us
creatively accountable.
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Oh god. Not the Bane.
Not the Bane!
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He Baned me, Morty!
Jesus Baned me!
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You can’t beat me up,
I’m technically Christian child!
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And I’m your worst nightmare.
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I’m the Jesus from every Jesus joke.
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-The one without a God.
-Morty! Take this and get out!
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Thank you. Looks like Story Lord’s story
is about to become based on real events.
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-What do you want with that?
-I want what any character wants.
108
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-Motivation.
-What?
109
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-That’s dumb.
-So lazy.
110
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Forward your notes to my ass.
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Wait wha... he just left?
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Kinda makes you want to be
our unlikely ally huh?
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I guess not.
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Previously on Jesus Christ.
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-Hey, I’m Jesus.
-I’m Mary.
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-That’s my mom’s name.
-Stop.
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-Dude, she’s a hooker.
-She’s a better disciple than you!
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Oh no.
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I can’t die.
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I have a proposition for you.
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I work alone.
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If I suck-a your blood,
I’ll be invincible! I think!
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You’ll never know.
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Billionaire immortal entrepreneur
Jesus Christ has placed all his money
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into what he’s calling a
“second chance at love.”
126
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-Hang on, Mary!
-The data! So beautiful!
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Make me normal, witch.
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Take it all!
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Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ.
130
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,992
-What are you smiling at?
-Your name.
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-What’s happening, Rick?
-Leon’s venom makes you think
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more and more of your life is behind you
as he feeds on your released potential.
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Leon. You saved our lives!
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-Oh not yet he hasn’t.
-Jeez Rick!
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-So mean!
-He’s meta, Morty.
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His life doesn’t matter.
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Yours does. That’s why
we need to get back.
138
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,722
Well this doesn’t feel like a Citadel.
139
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,643
Maybe it’s cooler on the inside?
140
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,230
This isn’t what it looks like.
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This is a very special diet
for successful writers.
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-Why do you look like my character?
-I am your character.
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-And you are going to improve me.
-But you’re Story Lord, you’re great.
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Great isn’t good enough!
I’ve killed Rick and made myself real.
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I’m better than some shitty toy train.
146
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Is this your office or your apartment?
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00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:57,750
Why does it smell like you sleep here?
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-You’re my creator, why are you pathetic?
-Because you failed!
149
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,798
And whose fault is that?
What the hell happened?
150
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,925
You wanna know what happened?
Like specifically?
151
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,678
Well the Ricks wanted to do
a Canterbury Tales type thing,
152
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,930
but none of them have actually
read fucking Canterbury Tales,
153
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,057
so then they told me to make
it like the Poker Game episode
154
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,102
of the Batman cartoon where the
bad guys tell stories about Batman.
155
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,187
Then they kept telling me it
“needed something.”
156
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,024
Yeah no shit it needed something!
It needed to never be pitched!
157
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,695
I did my job! Goomby, the Ice Queen,
the Tickets Please guy.
158
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They just bailed on it! The website
didn’t even fucking work!
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And it was a shitty URL to begin with,
“Storydash Train”?
160
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Who uses a dash?
They set me up to fail!
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They fucked me! They fucked me and you're
lucky I haven’t blown my brains out!
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Right. Just give me a motivation,
you hacky fart.
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Okay, here’s your motivation.
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You’re looking for motivation.
You want all the motivation.
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That’s lazy.
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It got you this far.
Must be nice, by the way,
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wish I could afford to dress like a
bisexual acting coach from the seventies.
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-My motivation... is motivation.
-Okay, bye.
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Oh no, my bitter friend,
you’re coming with me.
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Yo! If you don’t see me coming
it’s a bad fortress!
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00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,908
-Where are we?
-Headquarters of The Self Referential Six.
172
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They’re meta nerds that found out
they could be less bearable as a team.
173
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-They can help us?
-No but there’s a prisoner here that can.
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-Don’t tell them that.
-Rick Sanchez.
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00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,251
I’ve been waiting
for this moment for years.
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Good, Morty, this is Miss... Lead.
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00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,673
I should kill you where you stand.
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I brought you Previous Leon. You’ll want
to lock him up in your detention center.
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It’s a trick, he wants your prisoner.
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00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,014
-You dick.
-Liar!
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00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,975
Talk about a mislead. Anti-meta field.
182
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,479
Fancy device. I think I can recall
the time you built it.
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00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,064
Don’t try it, Flash Back!
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Y’know I’m excited about
the upcoming election.
185
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:51,697
This forcefield will be impenetrable by
meta-energy. It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
186
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,952
It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
187
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A few barrels of petroleum
should dampen it.
188
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Run, Morty!
189
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:05,378
Were those not there before? Guess
there’s been a... Connie Tinuityerror.
190
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,173
-These people are the worst!
-I told you! Way overpowered!
191
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,761
-Look out, Rick!
-Forget him, he’s a nameless guard.
192
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,681
That’s Protago Nick.
193
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,308
His beam has the power to make
any character the protagonist.
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Duck.
195
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,856
Oh man, oh man.
196
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:30,319
What are you doing, Marvin?
Not dying, that’s what I’m doing!
197
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,531
What’s going on? What happened?
198
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:36,158
I did it again, Katie.
I ran out on another job.
199
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,412
Well if you didn’t do that,
you wouldn’t be my man.
200
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,222
I was almost tempted to just let it go,
that’s much how I hate it here.
201
00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,223
Smash Cut!
202
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,226
-Remember me, Rick?
-Who’s this guy now?
203
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:07,231
I am Mr. Twist. The fifth member
of the Self Referential Six.
204
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,693
-Who’s the sixth?
-That’s the twist, Morty. It's you.
205
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:11,902
-What?
-Ignore him, Morty.
206
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,446
The twist is there is no sixth member
207
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:16,198
-and he tells that to everybody.
-In any case, you’re ours now.
208
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,660
You can’t free yourself without
a twist and I control them.
209
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,913
You don’t control every twist, Mr. Twist.
I’ve got a twist for you.
210
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,457
Impossible! What is it?
211
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,127
Nice try! Like I didn’t see that coming
212
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,547
Fuck me.
213
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,717
-Great work, Morty!
-I’m adapting!
214
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,885
Here’s our ticket outta here.
215
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,929
They got him in a cell made outta of
sports because it’s the opposite of story.
216
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:41,807
-Do I want to ask who he is?
-His name is Brett Caan.
217
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,685
He has the power to make things
always have been other things.
218
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,480
I think that’s called retconning.
But his name’s Brett Caan?
219
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:50,232
Rhett’s a name too,
his name could be Rhett Caan.
220
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,069
It is.
And always has been, now.
221
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,197
Careful Morty.
Stay clear of his retcon range.
222
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,698
Until he agrees to help us.
223
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,867
Rick. You’ve always trusted me.
224
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,911
Nice try.
Here’s how it’s gonna work.
225
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,205
You’re gonna make it so
Morty and I never came here.
226
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:07,333
Once that’s always been the case,
I’ll free you remotely with this.
227
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:08,834
What is my purpose?
228
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,669
To wait until I tell you
to pull that lever.
229
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,129
You are fucking kidding me.
230
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,758
If you don’t free me right now Rick,
I can make very, very bad things
231
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,510
always have been the case for you.
232
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:18,636
Is that a threat, you fuck?
233
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,763
-You can rot in there.
-Rick.
234
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,308
You know what, Rhett? Forget what I said,
we’ve always been friends.
235
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,559
Good one.
236
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:29,105
Easy, Rhett. Don’t forget
that coffee mug I gave you.
237
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,650
You always were able
to be killed with coffee.
238
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,821
New plan. Run. Again.
239
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:41,117
-The twist being...
-You were born without bones.
240
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:43,869
See ya never!
241
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,957
There’s never been anything
outside this fortress.
242
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,000
-Goddammit!
-And this fortress
243
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,212
Has always been an orange!
244
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,801
-Great plan, Rick!
-Yeah, I’m not pushing back on that Morty,
245
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,469
I have royally fucked us.
246
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,766
-It hurts.
-We’ve been past the fourth wall too long.
247
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,309
We won’t be real much longer.
248
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:11,105
You killed us, Rick. You just
had to hate meta storytelling.
249
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:15,484
In my defense, Morty, I think you
can agree my hate was justified.
250
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:21,031
Least earned death ever.
251
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,621
Death is a threshold.
252
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,796
-What, what happened?
-You atoned.
253
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:39,633
-Who, who are you?
-I’m Joseph Campbell. Soup?
254
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,345
I almost considered not making
it because my name is Campbell but,
255
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,348
then I thought, stay in the moment, Joe.
Follow your bliss.
256
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,310
How are you here?
Rhett Caan said there was nothing.
257
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:53,564
Some things never change about mythology.
There’s always an old man with soup.
258
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,900
Name one story that doesn’t have one.
259
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,152
-Jack and the Beanstalk.
-Basketball Diaries.
260
00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,862
-Every Matrix.
-Every movie ever.
261
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,947
Alright, I don’t have to defend myself
to you people.
262
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,324
Where’s my soup?
263
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,952
Previous Fuckin’ Leon?
Why is that prick here?
264
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,205
No more a prick than you, friend.
265
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,540
Meta characters erode reality.
266
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,792
But all characters are meta, Rick.
267
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:18,214
All of us are nourished and consumed
by chaos, like newborns at the breast
268
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,217
of a meth addict
in a lifeboat filled with forks.
269
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,303
-I know what you have to do, Rick.
-Scrub Campbell’s browser history?
270
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,096
Just trust Previous Leon.
271
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,432
Could you Previously us a way home?
272
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:32,770
-I’ll sure enjoy trying.
-Yeah I bet you would.
273
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:37,399
Rick can’t change, Morty. Change is
what you might call his Kryptonite.
274
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:41,320
Except, instead of being super,
he’s, you know, kind of a pussy.
275
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:42,905
Let’s do it.
276
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,367
Previously on Rick.
277
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,619
-Get off him! Get off him!
-Oh boy.
278
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,206
-He almost killed you!
-Okay, well I feel bad,
279
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,083
I kind of pressured you into trying that.
280
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,043
-You called me a pussy!
-I said I feel bad!
281
00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:00,798
This is a map to a region
rich in narrative ore.
282
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,550
I wish you the best of luck.
283
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,719
Faster, Morty! I’d help but I can’t
blister my inventing hands.
284
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,179
-How long will it take?
-Years.
285
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,597
You can live in my wood shed.
286
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,267
-Just don’t open the door after dark.
-Why not?
287
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,352
Get out here you Communist Jews!
288
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:15,271
Dude. Maybe I’m not an alcoholic.
289
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,065
-I know, right?
-You fucking Back to the Future ripoffs!
290
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,859
-It’s ready.
-Rick, I should stay.
291
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,236
-Why?
-I’m pregnant.
292
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,529
-What are you doing?
-It wasn’t him, Rick!
293
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,281
-Then who?
-Me.
294
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:28,784
I never left. But you had to think
all this happened to make that.
295
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:31,787
-And I can get this through the titles?
-If you hang on tight.
296
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,789
What about my beard and unborn child?
297
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,124
Let them go.
298
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,084
-Thank you, Leon.
-When you get home Rick,
299
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,753
do some classic adventures.
Like season one.
300
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,464
I’m so sick of that fucking note,
what the fuck does it even mean?
301
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,309
Now. One last time.
What’s my motivation?
302
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:57,646
Motivation. This machine will syphon
it from everyone in the universe.
303
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,356
Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it.
304
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:06,113
I think it’s working. Yes, I can feel it!
305
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,782
Something I did is actually
affecting someone!
306
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,038
I don’t want to work anymore.
307
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:17,374
I do, but only as an excuse
to not practice guitar.
308
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,174
Why don’t we just write any number
down on the score sheet?
309
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,342
Why even do that?
310
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,930
Wait, you have to register?
311
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:37,019
Yes! I can feel it!
I’m so motivated!
312
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,271
I want a lot!
313
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,941
Story time’s over.
314
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,694
-Hardly your decision.
-Did you seriously
315
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,113
double down on motivation
as your motivation?
316
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,282
-It’s a good idea.
-There’s no such thing!
317
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,951
There’s joyful and there’s joyless.
And we’ve had our fill of one.
318
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:56,246
Morty, make that sweaty writer stop
working while I kill off his character.
319
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,793
I have never been more driven
to destroy someone.
320
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,670
Yeah well I’m driven
to lower my blood sugar
321
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,089
but guess who’s getting tacos
after he kicks your ass?
322
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,050
So you’re jacked, who cares?
323
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,345
-Cum gutters.
-I don’t like that phrase.
324
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:12,513
I don’t take notes.
325
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,144
You can’t beat me, Rick.
326
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,564
-I have one million times your motivation!
-So do those guys
327
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,566
with the cell phone kiosks at the mall.
328
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,429
-The hair is wrong.
-Like you’d be picky about licensing.
329
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,389
Actually, I would.
I happen to believe that...
330
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,523
-You can do that?
-You gotta want it.
331
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,359
Come on, just stop,
I don’t wanna fight you.
332
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,279
Kid, I’m a writer that wrote
something successful,
333
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,447
so if you want me to give it up
334
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,574
you’re gonna need a black belt
or a big pair of tits.
335
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:17,161
-Yeah well I don’t have those.
-In the mythical sense, I have both.
336
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:20,122
-Joseph Campbell?
-Yeah, nice try. He died in the eighties.
337
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,416
Only you can see and hear me Morty.
338
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,418
-Just repeat what I tell you.
-Okay.
339
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:30,466
Sir. You’re only proud of your creation’s
success because you want to be creative,
340
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:34,219
but creation doesn’t happen through
gimmicks, technology and distribution.
341
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,679
It doesn’t even happen through work.
342
00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:40,225
Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental
and overlaps with it substantially.
343
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,437
A lot of talented people kill themselves
and all of them are miserable.
344
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,981
The real gift is to be ungifted,
345
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:48,150
and from what I saw in your
Green Arrow spec script,
346
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,612
-that’s the gift you were given.
-You couldn’t have seen that.
347
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,405
I’m Joseph Campbell. I saw it.
348
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,241
-The villain was a placeholder.
-I said I saw it Jan,
349
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:59,995
I didn’t say I could get past page five.
Your villains aren’t the problem.
350
00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,289
The problem is, when you write,
you’re a villain.
351
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,666
If you want to be a hero, just stop.
352
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,675
You know what? Maybe I will register.
353
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,679
Say it! Tell me I’m the new Mr. Nimbus!
354
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,352
-Oh looks like your writer took a hiatus.
-Oh fuck.
355
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,772
You’re less motivated to fight now
so this is literally punching down
356
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:27,856
but you’ve got it coming.
357
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:33,779
Please, lemme live.
I promise to be cooler.
358
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:37,032
I’ll be less inside baseball,
maybe I change my name?
359
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:44,039
-You failed me.
-No, I failed you.
360
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:49,294
All good things must come to an end.
361
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,964
All bad things too though,
so don’t flatter yourself.
362
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:55,134
Jan, Joseph Campbell says you have to be
the one to put him down.
363
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,553
Wait wait wait, Joseph Campbell also says
364
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,472
you have to use this brand new
limited edition Rick plush,
365
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:03,559
available only on Rick dash plush dot biz.
366
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,227
-Supplies are limited. Act now.
-He did?
367
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:20,826
Jesus, that’s the last time
I buy a toy from a Rick.
368
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,411
The plushies are obviously well made.
369
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:32,296
-Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick.
-Well, I am a master of both worlds Morty.
370
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:39,094
Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing.
Because it should be effortless.
371
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:41,430
When it happens organically,
that’s when it’s meant to be.
372
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,307
Y’know, like, like me.
373
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,684
I’m a writer, here’s a pencil.
Writers use pencils.
374
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,269
Okay so like what if like
a pencil used me?
375
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,897
Like okay. Yeah. Okay.
376
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,941
so it’s like a magic pencil
that writes the writer’s life.
377
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:57,404
holy shit, it’s a movie
about a writer! I am back!
378
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,316
I’m Tag-Man. I live in the tag.
379
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:39,863
I am the tag. I’m Tag-Man.
Tag-tag of the episode Man.
380
00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:42,950
Did you get any of that? When, yeah,
when, an episode’s over, look out,
381
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:46,662
because here comes Tag-Man!
And I’m crazy!
382
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:51,667
Tag-man! Imma tag your ass! Tag dat ass.
383
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:56,672
Tag-Ass-Man! I’m an Ass-Man now!
I’m a, I’m a Tag-Man!
384
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,841
Here’s what you get, here’s your tag!
Yeah, you want some more?
385
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,344
You want, you want some more tag
you sick piece of shit?!
386
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,012
I’m, because I’m Tag Man!
387
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:10,310
I miss my wife. Too bad,
this is it! Tag-Man, yeah!
31138
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