Original subtitles

I'm writing it for you in the first place.

No, not for the repose of your soul.

I'm actually hoping to draw the attention of your soul.

It has to become unsettled.

Through your soul I want to let you know that the pain...

...you suffered for all those hours, has been adopted by us.

For life.

No resting in peace.

Lost your keys again?

Hi, honey. — You two are my keys, aren't you?

Hello.

Made your ten pages yet?

Don't touch.

Do you have something by Oscar Wilde?

You're finally going to read a book?

English, at the 'W'.

I'm taking this with me.

Dad?

This one. — How much?

Isn't it a bit... — Too pale.

He's British and he's been dead for a 100 years.

Sit up straight? — Yes, and assume that pose.

The fur collar... — Huh?

That fur collar is itchy.

Oh, dear. — What?

They're everywhere. — What?

Moths.

Let's start. — Sit still.

Mir?

Miriam!

Adri!

Mr. van der Heijden?

I already told your wife. We have unpleasant news for you.

Your son Toni... — Tonio.

Tonio was involved in a collision last night.

He's going to die.

He's in critical condition in the hospital.

He might be dead already.

These are Mr. van der Heijden's parents. — You can come with me.

A severe lung injury.

And we removed the spleen. It was badly damaged by the blow.

l have to go back to the 0.R., but I'll keep you informed.

He was going somewhere. To a party in Paradise or something.

I've no idea. — But weren't you there when he said that?

It was music or a band somewhere.

Don't go. Don't. Don't go.

What's wrong? —I can't zip it up. Help me.

They're coming.

Madam, sir, it doesn't look good.

The brain is severely traumatized.

Several vital signs crashed. The blood pressure dropped drastically.

The blood clotting was abominable. — We couldn't save him.

We had to cease the treatment.

Your son is still hooked up to a ventilator, but it will be switched off soon.

Mir...

I can't do it. — What?

lcan't go in to see him.

Our Tonio, our boy.

And that film?

Isn't that what he said? — Film?

He was going to make a film. He said that when we went out for dinner.

Right.

The three of us.

The three of us.

It's over there.

Is that him?

Yes, it is.

Oh, look at that.

Hi baby, mom's here...

Mom's here.

Darling, did you hurt yourself?

Did you hurt yourself?

We're both here.

Dad's here as well.

We're here, sweetheart.

You're not alone, we're here.

Tonio.

Welcome.

Maybe we're too early.

He forgot, Mir. He just forgot. — No.

He's not answering.

Sorry.

All sorts of things went wrong.

A misunderstanding. They're somewhere else.

An email was sent about it, but Dennis has my laptop.

0r Jim deleted it. — Or you did.

I don't know. Sorry. Sorry.

Listening to those boring parents all night... I wouldn't survive it.

Come on, I'm hungry.

Why would you buy a beer tap? — It saves a lot of money.

That's right.

Good idea for you. You can let it flow into your mouth.

Tell us. Listen up, Mir.

We'd vacuumed and tidied the place...

...but that thing was still in the middle of the room.

That's not handy.

Dennis' father doesn't give him anything. Only a third of the rent.

And that guy is so rich. — What does he do?

He's a business man, like you.

I'm not bad. That's not the point.

But there are already lots of good photographers.

So what do you want to do?

I think I want to make films. — Films. Now it's films.

Aren't you doing photography at that academy? — Professional Photography School.

He went to the academy before that. —I know. What was wrong with the academy?

It was very technical. Flight, Toto?

So why did you start to study media and culture...

You wanted him to go to school! — ...if you quit in six months?

I can expect some ambition from you, can't I?

I didn't know what I wanted until now.

So how do you think...

...you will deal with that... — Never mind.

You must have some idea? — No.

Come on, this isn't a lot of fun. Come and sit down, sweetheart.

We'll have another drink. — Come and sit down. Please, sweetheart.

Come on, I'm sorry. — He's sorry.

Mea culpa. Sorry. — He's sorry.

Come on. And take off that Palestinian scarf.

He needs a cab as well. He can't go on his bike.

Hold on. Toniol

I wanted to say...

...l'm very happy with you.

Mir...

They're going to switch off the ventilator.

These are his things.

So we made the decision to cease the treatment.

Your son was under general anesthesia during the hours we worked on him.

So I can assure you that he didn't suffer.

Is there anything else you'd like to know? — No.

We're obliged by law...

That you give your permission for the...

Honey!

Oh, it's so good to see you. Wonderful! — It's so far away.

And the weather's great.

Nice, huh? The cottage is late 17th century. You can tell by the fireplace.

I'll show you the garden. — It's huge.

This is all part of it.

l was told that that was a bomb crater from the First World War.

The showpiece of the garden.

A half—natural bower where I drink coffee in the morning, before I start working.

And then I usually write over there in the shade.

0r inside.

Be careful you don't touch anything. You can be proud of me, because...

...l'm exactly on schedule.

I figured out the plot when I went for a walk.

I nearly had a sunstroke, because I had to work it out in detail.

But I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

I stopped using the pill.

When you're pregnant I'll only finish uncompleted projects.

Small jobs.

It won't all fall on your shoulders.

It really won't. You're afraid of that, right?

It will only get better with the three of us.

Once the baby his born, I'll keep ajournal about his life.

Every day.

Everything.

I'll give it to him when he turns 18.

I want to give birth at home.

Promise me. —I promise.

Not in a hospital. Swear? — I swear.

And I want a girl.

I'd prefer a girl. — Absolutely a girl.

I'm not afraid of the pain.

I'm not.

I'm a little bit drunk.

Right. So am I.

That's why I'm going to say something to you.

Goscha! — Yes?

Come and dance.

Come on, man. She wants you.

Come on.

Wait, stop. — This way.

No man, this way.

To the left, guys.

Tonio! — Bye.

No, keep holding me!

Adri?

Yeah?

It looks like I'm pregnant.

Pregnant? What do you mean?

That's bad.

Because the writing is going so well.

0h, Mir, that's great.

Oh, that's great.

It's wonderful.

Know what I was thinking?

Throw that thing out. — No.

Put it away. — No. Know what I was thinking?

Maybe that girl will call. — Huh?

That girl. Jenny. — Jenny?

She may not even what happened.

How may I help you? — I'm looking for a camera.

Something small for in your purse, or something bigger?

used to have a Canon. — They're over here.

This one's semi—professional with interchangeable lenses. But it's big.

Then I have enough information for now. — 0K.

He was in love with her.

How do you know?

just know.

I'm still his mother.

I want to know if they slept together.

I mean...

Did our boy sleep with a girl?

I want to know that.

So do I.

I like this one better. It's a 24 to 124mm lens...

...so you can zoom in more. And it has more megapixels.

Are you taking my picture?

You took a picture of me!

And now you're deleting it. — Sorry.

You deleted me!

But you can make up for it.

Mom?

Question for you. — 0K.

I promised a girl I'd do a photo shoot with her.

She wants to do some modeling... — Staying for dinner?

There's plenty. — I know.

So what I wanted to ask... — 0K.

This house is perfect for a photo shoot. — Aha.

It's on Thursday, so if you and dad could leave for a few hours...

A girl.

Yes, a girl.

What kind of girl is she?

What's her name? — Jenny.

l was able to reserve a spot right away, so that's taken care of.

I went to see it this morning.

Lots of green.

And quiet neighbors, I assume.

Hello?

No, he's not available.

This is his mother. Tonio's mother.

A lot from the parents of his elementary school.

That's kind.

About three weeks ago, Mirjam, Tonio and l...

...went to a kind of party.

A drinks party for the parents of Tonio's fellow students.

That's what the invitation said and it's not something you want to miss.

But things didn't go as expected.

A misunderstanding, an unread letter, an email missed or deleted.

In the end we ended up in a...

...a nice, no—nonsense café with good steaks and fries.

And Tonio told us...

...elaborately about his plans for the future which, as we all know...

...changed frequently.

And I was a bit grumpy to him about that.

Anyway, you can't quarrel with Tonio...

...for longer than a minute.

It was the best evening we had in a long time. Right, Mir?

For the three of us.

When we went outside...

That he might need money for a cab.

The three of us had been drinking.

I walked over to him and hugged him on impulse.

I kissed him three times on his cheeks.

Characteristically, Tonio responded...

...to those kisses on his stubbly cheeks...

...rather clumsily and smiling shyly.

And...

I realize now that that evening...

...we already said goodbye to each other.

A goodbye that's not possible anymore now.

It's OK like this, son.

Goodbye, my sweet boy.

I've had enough. I can't go on.

I don't want to live anymore.

I'll be joining you soon, sweetheart.

l have to do everything on my own.

Careful... — But that's my fate.

Tonio's scarf.

Without Tonio.

This was his favorite piece.

Was it?

Not the ice tea.

It's Tonio's. Here.

I've never seen Tonio drinking ice tea.

I've seen him drinking beer and vodka.

Vodka? I didn't know he liked it.

Ah, well.

You can't know everything.

He bough that ice tea for a girl.

Jenny.

Jenny who?

Mom, shall we go?

I only have one grandson and even he was taken from me.

They should have looked after him better.

Even when you and Mirjam weren't with me, I knew exactly what you were doing.

Mom, stop it. — When you always live in your head...

...l'm not surprised. — Let's go home.

Because then you're never there for anyone.

Our little boy.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

Hey, Mir.

When you drink this...

...you're drunk.

It will make a normal human being...

...drunk.

But someone like me...

...a practiced drinker...

...starts getting drunk about here.

Look, there we go. A beer.

...is emptied on automatic pilot without noticing.

Then you get the third bottle...

Gin. Neat.

Or with...

Tonic water.

Emptying this one as well.

0K? And no puking, just carry on.

I'm exhausted. Can we go to bed? — Exactly. That's it.

That's the issue.

Understand? That's the issue.

"Adri, I'm tired. I'm going to bed." To die, to sleep. Understand?

How long can you continue...

...as a right—drinking person...

...before you're finished?

No. No.

Jesus, Mir.

Hold on to me. — Jesus, Mir.

Yes, I'm very strong. — In one go.

Keep going.

Step. One, two...

Wait a minute.

I wrote thousands of letters.

Maybe ten thousand.

During the year Tonio moved into digs: Four hundred.

But not a single one to him.

And the journal I promised to give him...

...when he turned 18, he never received.

Mir...

Your mother is right.

Your mother is right.

0h, Adri? — Yes?

Have you seen Tonio anywhere? — Don't tell me he's gone.

I can't find him anywhere. — Then we have to launch a search.

Or we call the police. — We'll call the police!

Here I am!

Honey. — Where were you?

Come on. Get off.

CYCLIST DEAD AFTER COLLISION IN AMSTERDAM

FIRST MEETING M.

FRANCE

PARTY PARADISO? WITH JENNY???

PHOTOSHOOT??

ROUTE HOME?

GIRLFRIEND JENNY????

Hi, Jim. lt's Adri, Tonio's dad.

Huh?

Yeah, yeah. And you?

Good.

I want to ask you: Could you take another good look in Tonio's room, please?

Jenny. Right.

Did you take a turn here, maybe?

To pass by your former school?

But why did you...

...keep going?

Koninginneweg police station. — It's down the street.

I'll pay you double.

Where are you going?

Adri van der Heijden. — Windig.

Adri van der Heijden. — Hendriks.

You said you had some questions. — Correct.

Are there any indications that the car that hit Tonio was speeding?

No. — No, it's still under investigation.

And the driver? — The driver was locked up for a while.

He did a breathalyzer test and was interviewed.

By Hendriks and another colleague.

He definitely didn't drink alcohol. — Not a drop.

The car has been seized...

...and is now examined by forensics for possible visible traces.

Could you remove those cookies, please?

Sure. Of course.

Is it certain that Tonio was alone or were there other people near him?

Witnesses, you mean? — Yes.

There is footage from a surveillance camera.

May we see it?

It's available, if you want.

Did you see the footage? — Yes.

It's not customary, but you can have a DVD.

But... only if you really want it.

No. — Yes, please.

Let's see where it is.

Over there.

Oh, his shoes.

I don't want to see that footage.

No. — I don't want to see my child dying.

Adri?

Did you know he made these?

Grandpa...

Which book are you reading?

Erwin Blumenfeld. "Einbildungsroman."

I think I've read it six times already. — Can you lift it up.

I don't feel like reading new books.

Lift it up.

Did you tell me why you want to take all these photos?

Yes, I'm working on a series.

An assignment.

The subject was clubs and societies. — So are you at the right address, dear boy?

Ah, grub!

My grandson's with me.

He makes photos.

He was talented.

He really was talented.

But no Jenny.

Are you sure we looked at all of them? — Yes.

l have to go to his place.

To Tonio's room.

Now?

I want to have a look for myself.

It's the middle of the night!

Left here, I think.

No, honey, that's a one—way street.

You've never been there, have you? — Sure I have.

No.

You were giving guest lectures in Delft when he moved.

Yes, but we drove him home after he arrived at the airport.

But you stayed in the car.

The other door. Number 12.

0K, welcome.

I'd like to take a look in Tonio's room. — That's fine.

We know it's late, but Adri wanted... — No problem.

A beer?

That's his room, right? — No, upstairs.

We want to do something with his photos. — We were thinking of a show.

They're very good. — Where's his laptop?

Mir...

This was taken in our house.

This is Jenny.

This is Jenny. — Oh, that's Jenny?

It's actually 'Jennifer'.

Pronounced the English way. — English?

My last name is French, because my dad is French.

My mom isn't, but she does live there every six months.

So I travel back and forth a lot.

By car or sometimes by train. It only takes four hours.

Can we start?

Sure.

Want me to look into the lens?

That Saturday he was going to go to Paradiso with her.

To some band. With her.

Could be.

We were already at the party. Tonio came later. By himself.

Did people drink a lot that evening? — Yeah, lots of beer.

And shots.

But not a crazy amount. — What time did you go home?

At about four o'clock, I think.

We sat on a bench for a while and then we went to Goscha's.

Why didn't Tonio come along? - He wanted to go home.

But why did he take the Stadhouderskade? He usually doesn't do that.

Did he go to Paradiso? — At 4:30?

Paradiso is closed by then.

Or maybe he went to Jenny's. Does she live around there?

Could be.

This is Goscha. — Sorry. Sorry.

Do you want to sit down? We're leaving.

Do you know this girl through Tonio or the internet?

No.

No, I've never seen her.

I always really liked Tonio.

He always took an interest.

Very kind.

At that party I told him I really liked his T—shirt.

"You can have it," he said. That was so sweet.

They cut that shirt open in the hospital.

Let's go.

Sorry.

0h, right...

Tonio's laptop should be around here somewhere, shouldn't it?

Yes, I was going to mention that. A while back I used it for a project.

There were some things on it I needed.

I wanted to attend the funeral, but...

...I just wasn't able to.

Thank you.

Can we have a look yet? — Almost.

Who are they? — You two.

Bed hearts are flying out of our heads. — You're in love, aren't you?

What's up?

I'm looking for that drawing.

Which drawing? — That double portrait from Charnac.

Don't touch that. Mir...

It's not there. Come on.

Dammit, look what you're doing! Everything's on the floor, dammit!

Dammit.

He's completely losing it.

I'm...

...so afraid we'll grow apart. — That won't happen.

Tonio wouldn't want that.

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

This is Jenny Duhamel. I'm calling from France.

Hello, I'm Jenny.

Hi, Mirjam.

From France. — Nice. Come in.

This is the first time you're seeing them? — Yes.

Weren't you going to Paradiso with Tonio?

Didn't he show them to you then? — Paradiso?

Yes... the Saturday before Pentecost. — Right, but that was cancelled.

The band didn't show up. Something like that.

And the next day I had to go my mom's in Chazeras.

So you never saw him again?

In this room as well? — Yes, we were in here too.

You're not allowed in this room. — Is your dad that strict?

Not at all. He's just serious about his work.

What's this about? — The murder of a police woman. True story.

Don't touch. Better not.

Does he check for fingerprints? - The lights are ready.

Bring your ice tea.

So I stood over here and Tonio over there with his camera.

He'd bought all kinds of ice tea for me, because he didn't know which flavor I liked.

That was SO sweet.

And you went on the roof as well. — That's right.

By way of the fire escape? — Yes.

Tonio wanted to take photos because of the nice view.

Scary steps.

And we sat on the bench in your garden for a while.

Right before I left.

Do you know that Tonio is dead? I hope you were told that.

Adri.

Yes, of course I know that.

But...

I don't know what to say.

I hardly knew Tonio.

It's not my fault he's dead, is it?

I'm going to bed.

You're not allowed in this room.

What's this about? — The murder of a police woman.

True story.

My dad only writes about things that really happened.

Maybe you can take her onto the roof.

We can also go onto the roof.

If she dares.

If you dare to.

I'm wearing high heels.

Then take them off.

Moron, put down that stuff.

Take off her shoe. If you're lucky, she'll resist. That's good.

Toto! Be a man, be a fireman. Help her up those stairs.

Do something. Tell her...

Oh, I don't know. Tell her she has pretty eyes. She does, doesn't she?

Can't you see that?

She's counting on you, Toto. Come on.

Really. Trust me.

Look at her just standing there. Say something. Now!

Right.

Right.

Tell her she's pretty, she's sweet.

No, tell her you dream about her. That's what she wants to hear.

Say what she wants to hear. Say something! Say nonsense!

Let her go up.

Now tell her to stop.

Stop.

Hold her by the waist or hips.

Down. You face her and say:

"This isn't right. A man always goes first."

A man always goes first.

And then...

And then...

Toto.

Mirjam?

Mirjam?

Morn, what are you doing here?

I'm here for Natan. — He's probably upstairs, don't you think?

I'm waiting for him to come downstairs. I'm not climbing all those stairs.

I rang the doorbell three times, but he's not coming down.

You have an agreement. He doesn't want to see you.

He's having surgery tomorrow and he might go blind. We'll never see each other again.

What do you mean?

But, dad, you could at least have told me. — ls Wies still at the bottom of the stairs?

Yes. — She never comes upstairs.

It may take a while, but eventually she leaves.

Did you just drop by?

Someone has to take care of you.

No, son.

Don't.

Don't.

Have a nice evening.

There, we can close the place up. — No.

Are you still expecting someone? — Yes, one person isn't here yet.

He said he was coming here with her.

It's nearly four o'clock.

He won't show up.

Four o'clock? Then I have to...

Hello? — Are you still awake?

Hey, Toto! I'm working. Where are you?

We 're just cycling across the Amstelbrug. We went out.

Yes, I can tell by your voice. Are you going home?

Yes, I'm on my way home.

Along the Ceintuurbaan?

Yes, along the Ceintuurbaan.

To your own place?

Yes, Adri, that's where I live. / want to watch a movie.

At this time of night? What about the others?

They’re going to chill at Goscha's place.

Why don't you go with them and go home when it's light?

Dad, how old do you think I am?

Better yet, why don't you come here? Mom will serve you breakfast in bed tomorrow.

Dad, the others are turning left at the Sarphatipark. lhave to go. Bye.

No, don't hang up!

4:40.

Twenty to five.

Hey, Toto!

Hey, wait a minute.

Hold on. Wait a minute. Hold on. — Get lost, idiot!

Made your ten pages yet?

Don't.

Don't stop.

Don't look back. You know the rules.

Keep going.

Tonio? — Don't.

Just one minute, Tonio.

You have to go slowly. You have to fool time.

You worked too hard, dad.

And you drank too hard, but that's all right.

I'm not clear—headed either. I've been to a party.

It could have happened tonight. She looked so sweet, dad.

And she wanted me.

And I wanted her. — Slow down, Toto.

Go slowly, please.

Please, Toto.

Please.

Tonio...

Tonio?

Tonio!

Tonio, where are you?

Tonio!

Adri, have you seen Tonio anywhere?

Tonio...

Here I am!

It's all my fault, Tonio. I messed up.

I messed up. I did it the wrong way. I should have stayed with you.

I should have protected you.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm so proud of you.

Everything will be fine.

Everything will be fine.

SWIMMING DIPLOMA