All language subtitles for The.Deep.End.2022.S01E01.REPACK.1080p.WEB.h264-OPUS

- I just wanted...
I just wanted to be.

I just wanted it.
I really wanted it.

I really wanted it.

- I'm right here with you.

Why did you have me if you
didn't fucking want me?

What I'm worried about
in this meet and greet

is that I'm gonna be
with somebody who's fine,

and they're gonna flank me.

I don't want to be
flanked by people.

And I've got a few
that will do that here.

So at that point,

I'll just kind of say
we have to move on.

- Yes, which I'd like.

But they... you gotta
have, like, real tact,

'cause some of these people,

it's not like a
typical celebrity.

Like, these people are
listening to me at 3:00 a. m.

When they want to
kill themselves.

You just need wristbands.

- Our world is facing some
incredible challenges.

And what I love about Teal Swan

is she gets right to
the heart of the matter.

I felt like she
was there for me.

Like, I have almost
all of her books.

And I've seen, like,
a lot of her videos.

I take notes on everything.

We drove three hours
starting 1:00 a. m.

Then flew three hours.

The airplane landed about 20
minutes before we got here.

So...

Like, it's so straightforward.

- Yeah.
- She lays it all out.

Everything we're doing in
our family is by the book,

following exactly
what Teal says.

And it works.

She helped my grandma heal.

Like, now my little
sister's brought into it.

- Yeah.
- It's, like, her mission

to, like, heal us all.

- Let's welcome
Teal onto the stage.

- Hello.

Good to see you all.

I want to warn you in advance.

When I'm dealing with
somebody up here on stage,

some of you will get
triggered by what I say.

I'm a mirror.

What a mirror does is it
shows you the reality.

It's obviously really
intimidating to be

getting naked emotionally,
no matter where you are.

When you're doing it in
front of hundreds of people,

it's even harder.

So I would like everybody here

to really give
unconditional presence.

Because when I'm dealing with
somebody up here on stage,

it does relate to you.

The question is, how?

Okay, so whoever has a question,
go ahead and raise your hands.

This one.

- Wow, okay, so first of
all, it's crazy that I'm here

'cause I've been watching your
videos online for years now.

I've, like, visualized what
I'm gonna do when I'm up here,

and this is crazy... okay.

- My question is about
my spiritual path.

For over a year, I
feel... Not, like, stuck,

but I'm... like, I'm
not moving forward.

- So I feel like
I've been dealing

with these, like, two parts.

- Okay.

- Like, there's one in
a race car that says,

"Zoom, zoom, zoom,
zoom! Time to go!"

And then we got another
one, he's just, like,

sitting on the floor,

and, like, he's, like,
sad all the goddamn time.

- I had a baby, and I
want to go back to work,

but I also have a lot
of judgment for myself.

- You can do nothing
better for your daughter

than to give her an example

of what a woman in her
passion looks like.

That's what women haven't had.
We have not had this example.

There's a reason why you're
both up here together.

So I'm gonna... I'm gonna play
with that for a little bit

until we get really
clear on what's going on.

- I am the illegitimate child

of an affair that
ended a marriage.

- Stop it! So am I!

- Really? What a
vibrational fact.

- I love this. I just love it.

Time flies, doesn't it?

- Am I really out of
time? I can't do one more?

One more!

You have to do...
It has to be quick.

- Okay, it has to be quick.

But, like, when we
do this... what?

- It's never quick.

- I want to!

I'm following my
intuition. It's happening.

- You know, I've seen
some of your videos,

and I think, okay,
yeah, I can do that.

But then, somewhere
along the line,

there's just no
motivation to do anything.

If I was to ask you right now,

what is it gonna take for you

to be happy in life,
what's your answer?

Nothing. That's my problem.

Nothing makes me
happy. Like, nothing.

- And your truth is
nothing's going to.

- Yes. I think I'm not sure

even what anything feels
like at this point.

I don't know what I'm feeling.

- Then why are you still here?

- I really don't
know. That's...

Why did I come up
here? I don't know.

Because I'm trying
to figure out...

I'm really trying
to figure out...

- Well, I mean why are you
still here on the planet?

It's like part of you's
trying to find an answer

to stay alive, and
part of you is like,

"I'm just gonna take us out.

"Oh, look, here's another issue.

Oh, look, here's another
issue," until you die.

People have a very
understandable

yet unnatural fear of death.

You have somebody
sitting in front of you

that does not have a problem
going to these places with you.

Like, when we're really
facing that decision point,

play out both sides.

I'm literally saying,

go to the worst of the
worst-case scenarios.

And make your mind up.

None of us are gonna get
out of this thing alive.

So the question is,
if you knew that,

what would you do different?

Thank you so much.

- What's up, Teal?

I got a tattoo of you.

- I never wanted to
get into this field.

I never wanted to
get into this field.

The spiritual field
is a business.

- Everyone deserves to
choose how they feel,

to experience the love.

I hated spirituality.

- Ultimately, the secret is
to find stillness in the mind.

I wanted nothing to do with it.

- And you're getting a
two-year subscription.

- I feel like I sort of
just started speaking

to what is the most
natural talent for me.

The question that I thought

was the most important
to talk about this week

is one that I have received
several times in the past.

The topic for today is:
what is the purpose of life?

The question that's been...

My career really just took off.

I garnered so much
attention on YouTube.

It was just, like...

- At the beginning
of our newscast,

we introduced you to Teal
Swan, a young girl...

I was doing interviews.

I wrote books.

People started
buying my paintings.

I'd created a community
of dedicated followers

called the Teal Tribe...

Millions of members strong.

I became the spokesperson
for every "lost toy"

that there is in society.

I felt instantly
just absorbed by this

big, massive, money-making field

that was, like,
that's the new thing.

But it was like the people
were not ready for it.

- She is incorporating practices

that can be dangerous
or harmful to people.

- She claims to have
extrasensory perception

and read people's minds.

- It's just, it's
detrimental. It's destructive.

It's change your whole life,
change the way you think,

change the way you
act with people,

change the way... everything.

- The truth of the matter
is, she just has thousands

of desperate, lost,

confused followers that
are enforcing her delusion.

- What it boils down to is
that I'm teaching truth.

I'm the one that'll
tell you how it is,

whether or not you're
able to handle it.

I lack the capacity to stand
on the stage and be like,

"This is wonderful.

Just soak up the good
vibes," when I'm like,

"You are literally in a
chain of addiction right now.

"But if you come to me,

you will watch
transformation take place."

- I perceive her to be
creative, powerful, productive.

- This woman is a
goddamn monster,

and I suggest you do
a lot more research.

- This one hit me hard.

Fucking Teal Swan.

Teal Swan stuff, who
if you don't know is...

- I gotta give Teal Swan
mad props for this one.

I got a little Get to
Know Yourself game today.

- Freakin' to heal this.

What if you weren't
alone in this?

Maybe then, your life
might just be worth

sticking around for.

- Can we spend, like, a minute
or two on the overall goal,

where we are right
now, so you understand

a little bit of where I
am in my thought process,

in terms of the followers?

So right now, we're at 1.2
million followers on Facebook.

The next step, in
terms of competition,

is to reach about 2.4
million followers... double.

Because that's where
Eckhart Tolle is

and where Deepak Chopra is.

The next one is double,
too. That's Tony Robbins.

It's at 4 million followers.

How do we get above
that, you know?

So let's say 2.5 million
followers is my goal,

and I do whatever I
can to get her there.

- When was the first year
you started doing this to me?

- Fucking day two?

- What, every two
or three months,

every three months,
for 17 years?

Okay, Teal, this
worked out pretty well.

- Yeah, but you gotta make
sure it's all in there.

- Uh-huh.

Okay.

- Bye.

- Okay.

All right, we are...

We're gonna have better sound
than we've ever had, Teal.

Recording.

When I first met Teal, I was 19.

- What do you want
done with the person

who has hurt you
or someone else?

I looked at her... Like,
our eyes connected,

and it was like this
laser beam, like, whoosh.

She was someone who actually
saw me for the first time.

- So you can understand
how this process works...

When Teal and I
started the company,

it was like, all right, well,
let's do this video series.

We'll call it "Ask Teal."

We did a video every week.

And haven't missed a
week since the beginning.

Welcome, everybody.
My name is Blake.

I've lived with
Teal for 16 years.

Us, as a group, you know,

we are all here... We're
all matched to each other.

We're all in this
room for a reason.

This is an exercise
we do to, like,

tear down the bubble between
ourselves and other people.

Right there. You see that?

She...

- At least this is
comic relief, right?

- Hey, everybody.

Come on. Welcome to the show.

All right.

Sorry. I'm from the west.

Don't... don't blame
me. I'm from Utah.

Teal experienced the
worst of the worst,

and she knows how
bad the mind can get

and where someone is.

She can meet them
on any level...

Any level of suffering.

- Just whenever you're ready.

The year was 2001.

I was sitting in a hole,

my wrists and ankles
tied together.

I had been targeted by
a family acquaintance

who, unbeknownst to my
parents, was a psychopath.

I was emotionally exhausted

from almost 13 years of torture.

Despair was like a tornado

that chased me no
matter where I ran,

and I was tired of running.

I began to design a process,

one that would help make
even the most wounded

and fractured
person whole again.

I realized this
was a breakthrough

that could really
change the world.

I call this approach
the Completion Process.

I started to hold
retreats for people

to experience the
Completion Process.

They come from all over
the world for two weeks.

Welcome to the
Completion Process.

We're in for some
deep transformation

while we're here.

I was hooked right away.

There is no one else
on the planet who...

Everything they say,
I agree with it.

I've heard so much about

what it's like just
to be in her presence.

I'm trying to be cool about it

'cause obviously there's a
part of me that's worried

I'm just gonna fangirl and
be a little bit too much.

I never heard anyone, like,

speak so much truth.

I feel like she's Jesus.

Why wouldn't...

everybody just, like, treat
her, like, so special?

You know, I've heard
about the energy

that's created when
she comes into a room.

I got goosebumps now.
Absolutely goosebumps.

Okay.

Sorry if I'm staring
at you a little bit.

I want to... I want to gauge
where the room is first

before I jump straight in.

So many people who
come to healers

aren't really coming to heal.

They're coming for a quick
fix to their emotional state.

It's kind of sad to me,
but I also understand it.

For the majority of people,

if you just showed them
a red button and said,

"Push this button and
you'll feel different,"

they would push that button.

That's why our
pharmaceutical companies

are doing so well today.

We're in the opposite business.

We're not in the
business of people

feeling immediately better.

We're in the
business of healing.

I'm going to ask
you, for this week,

you start looking at the world
through the lens of trauma.

What do I mean by that?

The question is not,
what's wrong with you?

It's, what happened to you?

And unless we deal with that,
we just can't move forward.

That's why you're here.

Completion Process is not a
trite self-help technique.

It is an extremely intense
soul retrieval process

whereby you are undoing
the entire trauma.

And the reason
that I have to give

such a big warning
relative to this process is

we're coming up against
mainstream psychology

in a lot of ways.

It is a major debate whether
reexperiencing a memory

is something that
people should even do.

My rule is, if you want to
come within 50 miles of me,

you better be ready for the
deepest end of the pool.

We're gonna do this
for each person.

I want you guys to
break off into groups.

We're coming back to
this moment of trauma,

so as to consciously relive it.

This is how we
start to resolve it.

- What are you seeing now?

I feel like... It
feels like anger.

- Mm.

- Really angry, like, rage.

Like, this part
of me just, like,

wants to take this
knife that's here

and just stab my mother.

- Yeah.

- It fucking hates her so much.

It wants... it wants
her to just, like,

feel all of the pain
that she has inflicted.

- Mm.

- Hm. Is there
anything I can do

for you to help you feel better?

- I think just being here.
- Okay.

- I just need to feel
someone there with me.

I never had that.

I never had anybody touch me

and tell me that they
were there for me.

Every touch was unsafe.

- Aww.

- I just remember my
mom hitting me so hard.

And it was just unsafe.
It wasn't okay to touch.

It just hurts. She's
hurting me so bad.

Just visualizing me stabbing
right into her heart.

Just, like, stabbing
again and again.

Like, why can't you see how
much you're fucking hurting me?

When we have a strong,

uncomfortable feeling
in the present,

we close our eyes and
sink into the feeling.

We ask,

when was the very first
time I felt this feeling?

We invite the memory to surface.

Be present with whatever arises,

regardless of what it is.

By mentally making
changes to the past,

it causes mental
changes to our present,

like a puzzle piece
going back into place.

- Hm.

Do you want to leave
this memory now?

- Same key, everybody.

Something I really
want to tell you...

This has been more life-changing

than I expected it to be.

And I'm gonna come home
and I'm gonna be different.

I'm really focused on this,

and I feel like I really want
this to be my life's work.

Like, this is the most
connecting thing ever,

and that's exactly what I need.

I need connection from people.

With this process,

the chances are you're gonna
overhaul your entire life.

It can be things like being
ostracized by the family.

It can be things like,
"Oh, shit, I just realized

I married somebody for
the wrong reasons."

It can mean, "I
didn't want children.

"What am I supposed
to fucking do

now that I have
these two kids?"

If the life that
someone is living

is based off of an
inauthentic truth,

when they start to
unpack themselves

and realize what
they really need,

they're probably gonna
be making massive changes

that will affect everything
and everyone in their life.

So I have a quick question.

If you spend all your time
calling people's BS, right,

is there anyone out of the
team that you would have

enough respect for that
they could challenge you?

- That's a strange question.

Why is that an
important question?

Hm? TEAL: Why?

I should have someone above me?

- Not above you.

Like, who do you look
up to, to call...

- I don't look up to anyone.

But I... and so I have
resistance against that,

if I'm being brutally honest.

Why? I should have
someone above me?

It's not gonna happen.

Is that stubbornness?

- I wouldn't be
particularly aware

if I wasn't able to
recognize the potential

of someone having more
awareness than me.

I've never met them.

You seem to go into
resistance about this.

I want to know what it's about.

Yeah, I do feel that way.

Where is the sticking
point with you?

I'm not here thinking that
you have all the answers

and they're all right.

I'm expressing everything
that comes up for me,

every question, every
challenge and opposition.

But I also don't have to agree

with everything that's
being said by you.

And nor should I...
By anyone else.

- It would be the same if I
went to the Dalai Lama today

and I said, "Okay, but, like,
you... you are in this place

of, like, all-knowingness, but
who's all-knowing for you?"

That's a challenge.
The reality for you is,

you think there's an
actual fucking consequence

for somebody not
having a mentor.

You're afraid of that
consequence with me.

So...

I would love if you
would spell it out for us

why I'm so fucking unsafe
if I don't have a mentor.

It concerns me that...

I look up to people,

and then I then find out

that they are not who
I thought they were.

Bikram.

John of God.

It's an authority thing.

I can misuse my
power. I can do that.

And I had better
be aware of that.

I could take my skills,

and I could ruin
someone's life with them.

I have to be aware of that.

Otherwise, I'm not
very safe, am I?

I have no problem with
people not following me,

if it's the right
thing for them.

But play a game with me.

Pretend that I could round
everyone up on the planet,

and we found who the
fastest human was,

and then you looked at the
fastest human and said,

"You can't teach me running

because you don't have
someone faster than you."

That's what you're doing to me.

So is this really an
argument about that,

or is this an argument
about the fact

that you don't believe
that that's me?

- Okay, I'm struggling
with two memories here,

because...

like, the real conscious
awareness that, like,

I'm different than
everyone else was...

Happened in kindergarten...

Teal, look at me.

With my mother.

To put it mildly, I
scared her to death

from a very young age.

- Yeah.

Can you wave to Mommy?

Can you say... blow kisses
and wave "night night"?

Can you blow kisses?

- Night night.
TEAL'S Night night.

- I love you, Mother.

I love you, too, Teal.

I was seeing
other-dimensional entities.

I'm talking about being able
to see people's emotions,

hear what people are thinking,

seeing dead relatives.

For my parents, my abilities
were actually seen as curses.

I watched this ripple effect
go across the community,

where parents wouldn't let me
interact with their children.

Got it, Teal?

My mother dragged me
to every therapist

she could think of.

And I received every
single diagnostic.

Don't move yet. Just
stay right like that.

Schizophrenic. Bipolar.

Borderline. Everything.

Very nice.

They don't know
what to do with me.

Until this man came
into the family

saying he's an
alternative practitioner.

He said, "I know what
to do with this kid.

"Just let her come
with me on the weekends

and I will help her
deal with this."

It never occurred to
them why it might be

a little bit strange for a
60-something-year-old man

to want to spend so much
time with a little girl.

Okay. "At six years old, 1990,

"I was raped in a
church below our house.

"He left me there for
what seemed like hours

"and put me in a pit
he dug in his backyard.

"He told me if I told
anyone, my family would die

and my horse would be killed."

That was how old I was.

"February 1997.

"Took me to a place
behind his home again.

"He walked at me and
picked me up by my throat

"and put me on the floor.

He raped me with my shirt
still on and drove me home."

"Summer 1995.

"He blindfolded me and gave
me an injection into my arm.

"I started to cry
uncontrollably.

"He laid me inside the house
on the living room carpet.

Kept me drugged
up with ketamine."

"I started writing journals.

"Chronic headaches began.

Trouble all the
time with cramps."

I wrote this when I was admitted

to the hospital psych ward.

For a suicide attempt.

Age 17.

One of the things that they,
like... therapists love to do,

especially when you're
in, like, group therapy,

is they have you do art

that represents the
emotional space you're in.

There it is.

When my world came
crashing down,

I knew I had to run
away from my abuser.

I drove to Blake's house.

So Blake bandaged me up...

and sat and cuddled me.

Can you say something
for the camera?

Teal's camera shy.

And we fell in love.

We lived a very simple life
where I was just trying

to heal from everything
that was happening.

He was safe.

He was absolutely unconditional.

It did not matter
what I did, like...

Which I'd never
experienced before.

Look at that
beautiful girl there.

I'd never really had
a safe environment

till that time.

He's the one that really
taught me to trust.

- People thank me
a lot for that,

for saving Teal, in a way.

But she was in so
much pain at the time.

I just wanted to
be there for her.

I don't really feel like a hero.

You know, I was there

and loved a person at
this right time, and...

I hadn't really been
in many relationships.

We found family with each other.

Our romantic relationship
lasted a year,

but when we broke up,

we never stopped
living with each other.

We're looking at probably
12 or 13 relationships...

since Blake.

Hi, Teal.

Hi, Mark.

Happy baby shower.

I've had five marriages.

And Blake stayed with
me for all of them.

Why don't you throw
him in there...

Relationships are
not unidimensional.

My son has been around
Blake as a second dad

from the day he was born.

So it's not like you throw
things out the doorway

just because it's not
working on a romantic level.

He's my family.

No matter what, we're in
each other's lives forever.

It's hard to find
real connection

in today's world.

Hello.

Wanna come here?

I felt completely isolated,

and I was searching
for community,

and found Teal's work.

At the beginning, I
was watching the videos

whenever something would
come up in my life,

and then I went to the
Completion Process training.

It touched me on
a very deep level.

There's something
you get from that...

From that relationship
that you...

That makes you feel seen,
and people want that.

And that's basically
where I got to know Blake.

I love his big heart,

where he feels like he
tries to help everyone

and get them out of their pain.

I feel like he got me.

Like, with just a few words,
he understood where I'm at.

- This is Osho.

This is Goldie.

That's Stripekisser.

Peanut.

And Fiona.

Where you going?

I love them, but they
are just stuck there,

in that tiny, little world...

Where nothing changes.

Hello?

- Hello.

Hey. How's it going?

Yeah. You nervous
about everyone here?

- Well, they're very
excited to see you,

and to add a new
family member, so...

Pretty courageous.

Yeah.

So I'll see you soon?

Bye, bye.

- Mm.

All right, Blake, you
and I need to talk about

this woman.

You're, like, so one-track,
it's kind of scary.

Uh-huh.
- And I'm afraid that...

she's gonna show up, and
you're just gonna be,

like, totally fixated,
totally in lovey mode.

You realize you've got, like,
a lot of responsibilities.

- Okay, I don't know. I
guess... I guess it just...

I'll just say what I'm hoping.

I feel like you want to
be able to just live life

without thinking about
the consequences.

That's what it feels like to me.

Well, I mean, I know

your life is, like,

serious a lot of the time.

Maybe it's more serious than
I would be in my household,

or whatever, you know, beyond
the mission... beyond...

- Like, anybody... Anybody
who gets to know us...

Anybody who gets to know us
has an instantaneous platform.

This is what you're
not thinking about.

You're, like, blindly
trusting people.

All this girl has
to fucking say is,

"I was around...
I lived with Teal.

I lived near her. I was
part of her community."

Everyone's like, "Oh,
really?" Like, it's that fast.

It's... you're...
You chose into a life

where it's not simple anymore.

Only after a very,
very long time

do I know whether I can
trust somebody or not.

That's scary because I
don't know this person.

She's... all of a sudden,

I have a person whose truth
and boundaries I don't know,

and she's just moving
into my community.

- I can't seem to decide
to commit to life or death.

I have been straddling the fence

between... there's so
much beauty in this world,

and I know that, and I
want to be here for it,

but I've done the
suffering thing.

So the question is, is
how to know necessarily...

If my time is done or not.

- If you're still asking
that question, it's not done.

- Fuck.

- You have no idea
how many people...

A lot of people.
- Are feeling that way. Yeah.

A lot of people.
- Yeah. I figured.

By raise of hands...

And I need you to
be honest, okay?

How many of you feel like
you're not doing okay at all?

It saddens me that, when
I fly around the world,

we're sitting in
these audiences,

and everyone's lonely.

This is the emotional Dark
Age that you are living in.

By no means have we
figured out mental health

and suicide in our society.

We've got a long way to go.

But should we be listening
to the words of someone

who doesn't have any education
qualification on this

because she believes that
her extrasensory abilities

uniquely qualify her?

Vulnerable people want someone

to hand them their answers.

Like, it's just a
psychological fact.

A lot of vulnerable people want
someone to be their savior.

And this person has done
that on a huge scale.

She really is
building this brand

and connecting with people
through her YouTube videos

and her Instagram posts, but
who regulates this stuff?

Sometimes, the easiest thing

to find online isn't
the best thing to find.

Teal Swan has over 145
million views online.

- I thought it was just

damaging, useless
advice, really,

from someone who was, you know,
a bit too big for their boots.

But actually, the reality of it

was that people had
followed this advice,

felt encouraged to kill
themselves and done so.

She's an actual cult leader

that has a pretty strong
following here on TikTok

in the spiritual community.

She's likened suicide
to a "reset button"

because she believes
in reincarnation.

You would have to
convince me otherwise

that Teal's teachings did
not play a significant role

in the mind of our daughter
when she took her life.

- Oh, God.

This career is where
I live and die.

I'm trying to end the
cycle of suffering.

It's like, you're
either in or you're out.

You either understand this,

or you get off the ship.

I'm gonna carry it to
the ends of the Earth.

If I say, you know, I'd
like to get to the point

where I'm considered to be
more spiritually influential

on this Earth than the Pope,
some people would be like,

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

Fuck that "It's
not gonna happen."

We hired a private investigator

to clear out the facts.

- They're claiming
Teal was responsible

for Leslie's demise.

- I define myself as an
expert in human suffering.

Why do people call you
a cult leader, then?

I feel at home.

It's a totally different
home, but I feel at home.

Blake is the person
that I'm closest to.

The problem comes whenever
a girl that he's with

has a truth that opposes mine.

Then it's her versus me.