Original subtitles

New York, New York

You high and mighty, bright and shiny fabulous place, New York

New York, New York

You busy, dizzy, Razzle-dazzle scandalous place, New York

Guys with easy money tryin' to blow it

Dolls with hidden talent dyin' to show it

Take off for Broadway by taxi, by subway

And land on the town A merry-go-round

New York, New York

Where millionaires and Cinderella’s rendezvous at the Stork

In Central Park romantic babies and their fellas rendezvous in the dark

Crazy city with its hat on the steeple

Noisy city with its millions of people

Doorway to glory and fortune and fame

You'll never get your fill of it never forget the thrill of it

Glorious, glamorous wonderland

New York

Oh, is Mr. Benton here yet, the agent for the apartments?

Oh, yes. He's in there waiting for you now.

Thank you.

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Page.

I do hope I haven't kept you waiting too long.

Not in the least. I'm afraid I have a little disappointment for you, though.

You won't be able to meet Mr. Denmark. He flew to Europe this morning.

Oh, dear, I am disappointed. Wasn't that awfully sudden?

Oh, very. You know how those income tax people are when you skip a whole year.

And the result, of course, is that a longer lease is now possible.

Open, if you don't mind.

Hmm? Oh, oh, certainly. Certainly.

How long a lease? Not that it matters if he's to insist on a thousand a month.

That's what I wanted to see him about, personally.

Oh, he won't be needing the place for years now.

I hear Mr. Whiskers really blew his top this time.

You mean he can't come back to this country?

It would be I understand the very height of folly.

Oh, I see. Well, it throws an entirely different light.

Where's that lease?

Well, I'm afraid I haven't got it with me.

Oh, never mind. You can mail it to me.

This is for two months, the first and the last.

- That's the deal, isn't it? - That's correct.

How soon would you like to take possession?

Oh, anything wrong with right now?

Nothing at all. It's a little unusual, of course, but, uh…

Thank you so much, Mr. Benton. You've been awfully kind.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Page.

It's a genuine pleasure to do business with a woman of such decision.

- We in the real estate game... - Bye now.

Oh, yes, of course. Well.

Oh, I almost forgot. How long shall I make the lease for?

Oh, a year will be quite enough. Thank you.

But don't you think you oughta have it…

- Yes? - Bingo.

I'll be right over.

- To the left. - Thanks.

All right, put 'em on. No men here yet.

You certainly got here in a hurry. Did you take a taxi?

No, I didn't have enough money for a taxi.

I had the Chrysler people demonstrate that new showboat for me again.

- The one with the gold trim? - Was it gold?

I didn't want to put on my specs with the driver there, you know.

The one they sent for me had gold trim.

Brother!

Smooth, huh?

Creamy. Are we really in?

- Built in. - I'll call Loco.

Loco who?

You know, that girl I was telling you about from Jersey.

You didn't tell me her name was "Loco."

It isn't. That's what the other models call her. It means crazy, you know?

That's what I know.

- Hello? - Bingo!

- Hold that for a minute. - Just a minute, Loke.

I can't shack up with a dame I haven't even met, and she's crazy too.

You don't have to. All I'm going to ask her is to come up here.

If you don't like her, that's the end of it.

- Is she class? - Is she. Didn't I tell you?

She's been on the cover of ”Harper's Bazaar” three times already.

And she knows how to handle it?

- Well, let's see if she does, Loke? - Yes?

- How much money you got? - I've got a quarter.

That's wonderful. Stop in on your way up here and pick up lunch for us.

- How many? - Three.

Okay. Just going on as I get something.

There's a fine contribution to a million dollar proposition, one whole quarter.

Maybe, but she's awful clever with a quarter.

I just don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you enough.

I'm still so embarrassed.

You have no reason to be. Anybody can forget their money. I've done it myself.

I know, but… Oh, hi, honey.

- Come on in. - Come in.

This is a gentleman I met at the cold cuts counter.

- What did you say your name was? - Tom Brookman.

B-R-O-O-K-M-A-N. Brookman.

Well, this is my friend, Miss Pola Debevoise.

- How do you do? - Oh, and this is Miss Page, isn't it?

- Mrs. Page. - How do you do? It was very funny.

I was ordering some pastrami and potato salad,

and I heard Miss Dempsey explaining she only had a quarter…

You can just set that down. We'll take it from here.

Oh, wouldn't you like me to put them in the kitchen?

No, I don't think you'd better. The cook's not dressed.

- Oh, really? - Thank you very much.

Some other day. Give us a ring next week.

- I don't know your number. - That's all right. It's in the book.

Thank you very much, Mr. Brookman.

- But I don't know your first name. - He was really very nice.

I thought he might have lunch with us.

Look, the first rule of this proposition is that gentleman callers

have got to wear a necktie.

I don't want to be snobbish, but if we begin with characters like that,

we might just as well throw in the towel right now.

Thanks, Mick. Keep the change.

- How do, Mr. Brookman? - Hiya, Pete.

The next thing to remember is a gentleman you meet among cold cuts…

… is simply not as attractive as one that you meet,

say in the mink department at Bergdorfs.

But he was cute, don't you think?

Sure he was, but then I never met one of those gas pump jockeys that wasn't.

- Is that what he is? - You bet your life.

I know those guys. I married one once. Very, very cute fellow.

- I didn't know you were really married. - Just got back from Reno.

Oh, then you must be loaded.

Mine was one of those divorces you don't read about. The wife finished second.

But that's against the law, isn't it?

I was absolutely nuts about that guy, and you know what he did to me?

First off, he gives me a phony name.

Second, it turns out… … he was already married yet.

Third, from the minute the preacher said, "Amen”,

he never did another tap of work.

The next thing I knew he'd stolen my television set and given it to a carhop.

When I ask him how about that, he hits me with a chicken.

- A live chicken? - No, a baked chicken, stuffed.

He sounds incompatible to me.

Last I saw of him, I stepped out of the car for a minute at a gas station.

Had to walk home.

Well, I'm surprised you'd ever want to get married again.

Oh, but that's the point about this whole setup.

Of course I want to get married again.

Who doesn't?

It's the biggest thing you can do in life.

The way most people go about it, they use more brains…

… picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband.

- Do they really? - It's your head you've got to use,

- not your heart. - Oh, I see.

Tell her your idea about this apartment.

Well, to put it simply, the idea is this.

If you had your choice of everybody in the world,

which would you rather marry, a rich guy or a poor one?

I think I'd rather marry a rich one.

All right. Where would you be most likely to meet a rich one,

in a walk-up on Amsterdam Avenue or in a joint like this?

Well…

I should say in a joint like this.

Okay, then, that's it. We're all working steady,

so we throw everything we make into the kitty,

and get a little organization into this marriage caper.

Class address, class background, class characters.

To be specific about it, nothing under six figures a year.

I've never heard anything so intelligent in my life.

If you want to catch a mouse, you set a mousetrap.

So, all right, we set a bear trap.

All we've got to do is one of us has got to knock off a bear.

- You mean marry him? - If you don't marry him,

you haven't caught him, he's caught you.

All my life, ever since I was a little girl, I've had the same dream,

to marry a zillionaire.

Do you know who I'd like to marry?

- Who? - Rockefeller.

- Which one? - I don't care.

I wouldn't mind marrying a Vanderbilt.

Or a Mr. Cadillac.

No such person. I checked.

Is there a Mr. Texaco?

No. But how about one of those rich maharajas?

How about three of them?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had three of them for dinner and they married us?

Think of all those diamonds and rubies.

And all those crazy elephants.

This is really living it up, isn't it?

People that live any other way are just crazy.

I wonder who's going to pay for it.

- Yeah, how about that? - Well, I'll tell you.

I knew it couldn't last.

Relax, will you? And somebody break open that other bottle.

Good afternoon. I'm Mr. Bennett of the Bennett Music Company.

- Are you the lady… - That's right. Come right in.

Thank you.

The reason I called you is,

what will you give me for this piano, cash?

Well,

it's a very handsome instrument.

Really, Pola, I think she's the most intelligent person I guess I ever met.

Well, it's not in first-class condition, you understand,

but, uh, we might be interested in paying you, say 2,500?

We'll take it.

Well, kids, where will we eat tonight,

the Stork or 21?

Hello?

Is this Trafalgar 7-5098?

- Yes? - Who's this, Miss Page?

- Yes, who is this? - This is Tom Brookman.

- Oh. - You remember me.

- Oh, sure, but… - Well, I kept thinking about you,

but I didn't realize who you were till I picked up an old magazine this morning.

- What do you mean? - You were Miss Steinbach Beer last year.

Why, yes, I believe I was.

And isn't that you jumping around in a girdle in all those ads in magazines?

I wouldn't exactly call it "jumping around." I'm supposed to be dancing.

Reason I called, I was wondering if you wouldn't have dinner with me some night.

Whatever night you say. What about tonight?

- I'm afraid I can't tonight. - Tomorrow night?

- I'm sorry. - What about Thursday night?

Mr. Brookman, you're wasting your time on this number. Don't call it again.

Hey, kid!

- Pola? - Yes?

Do you think we'll ever be able to get this job off the ground?

- What do you mean? - Here we are nearly three months,

and we can't even get ourselves engaged, much less married.

- I could have got engaged last week. - To?

- That English fellow. - What English fellow?

You know, that tall one that borrowed five dollars from me.

That's what I mean. Here we are set up strictly for the carriage train,

and what do we get, you hook a schnook who takes you for a fin,

I get an invitation to Hamburger Heaven for dinner,

and Loco shows up every evening with a gentleman she's met in the drugstore,

with five more shower caps and three quarts of aspirin tablets.

And where do you think that's gonna get us?

I don't think it's us. I think it's the men these days.

They're getting more and more nervous, especially the loaded ones.

Meanwhile, where are we gonna sit next week?

Well, we're both trying, you know.

It isn't always easy to find out right away

how much they're worth or if they're married or not.

They look at you like you're prying into their private affairs.

Something's got to break soon, or we're gonna be out on the sidewalk.

And all we need, you know, is just one.

That's the beautiful thing about a bear trap.

You don't have to catch a whole herd of them,

all you need is one nice, big, fat one.

Probably Miss Perth Amboy again with another load of dollar-day Kleenex.

Thanks.

- Oh, hello, Schatze. - Hello.

This is… I'm sorry. What did you say your name was?

- Hanley. J.D. Hanley. - Of course.

This is Schatze Page, and this is Pola Debevoise.

- How do you do? - How do you do, ladies?

I met Mr. Hanley in the mink department at Bergdorf's.

- Really? - Yes, the clerk was nice enough to…

You'll have to excuse the state of this apartment.

We've just sent everything out to be cleaned.

But if you don't mind coming into the dining room.

Oh, of course not.

And with the maid off today, we're roughing it, you might say.

- Won't you sit down? - Oh, thank you very much, but I can't stay.

I just came along to help Miss Dempsey with her bundle.

Mr. Hanley's from Dallas, Texas.

Oh, really? In the oil business?

Oh, a little oil, but mostly stock.

- Stocks and bonds? - No, none of that sort of thing for me.

My stock is white-faced Hereford, polled.

- Come again? - Cattle.

- You know, like cows. - Oh, I see.

Are you sure you won't sit down for just a little while?

Oh, I haven't time right now. But what I was talking to Miss Dempsey about,

there's a little organization that I'm a member of, the Oil Institute.

Kind of elder statesmen of the business.

We're having a little informal reception tonight.

If you young ladies would honor us with your presence,

I'm sure you'd make us all very happy, indeed.

Do you mean nothing but oil men?

Well, not exactly. Probably a few bankers too.

Well, bankers will be allright.

- Don't you think? - Naturally.

I realize this is a little sudden and unconventional,

but there will be dancing and a few drinks and a few laughs perhaps.

- Sounds just creamy to me. - I like laughs.

- Well, then it's a deal? - I'd love it.

That's wonderful. I'll pick you up around 8:30, if that's all right.

Will we meet some of the other gentlemen too?

Oh, all of them. And don't worry, they're not all old crocks like me.

- What on earth! - Stop it!

You look just in the prime to me.

Thank you, ladies. You've already made my trip to New York worthwhile.

Bye now.

I think this is it, kids.

A great big room full of nothing but rich millionaires…

… and us.

This brings us down to 1947.

I think it's a very good idea. Where should we go?

Good evening, madame. Good evening, sir.

- Table for two. - Certainly, sir.

This way, madame.

- Champagne? - We might as well.

Oh, a table for two, Philip.

Certainly, madame. Will you come this way?

- The best, you know. - Certainly, sir.

The best we have, sir.

- A quart of champagne. - What kind, sir?

- The best you've got. - Very good, sir.

- Good evening. - Good evening. Two, please.

This way, please.

- This way, my dear. - I'm so sorry.

Oh, I am sorry.

Did you say you were alone here?

Oh, there's quite a party of us up from Texas.

- All men? - Oh, some wives too.

You met some of them this evening. The others went to a show.

You know how the women are when they get to New York.

Know.

I think Ella has seen five shows in the last three days.

- I see. - Ella's my daughter.

- Oh, really? - Mm.

Is Mrs. Merrill here with you?

There is no Mrs. Merrill, and I live in New York.

Does that clear the situation a bit for you?

Oh, yes, indeed, it does.

Are you married?

Married? I sometimes think I'm the most married man in the U.S.A.

Do you know how many females were at my house when I left there tonight?

No. I can't say that I do.

Seven, my wife, her sister, who's divorced.

And I don't blame the guy for a second.

Their mother, who must be 110 if she's a day.

An aunt from North Attleboro, Massachusetts.

And three more whose names I didn't even catch.

To tell the truth, I…

I never really felt the loneliness of being a widower

until the past few years.

At first, there were children, you know, to keep me company.

But they're grown up now. My son's married. Ella's engaged.

I must confess the house is beginning to seem pretty big and empty.

I can imagine.

I suppose that's why I've done so much travelling lately.

London, south of France, Scotland and so on.

That's really no good, you know.

Oh, no, I know. No good at all.

Couple of years ago, I chartered a boat.

Not large, but quite comfortable.

Took about six months, just loafing around the world.

But it was no use.

I suppose there's really only one cure for loneliness.

- Yes? - Human companionship.

Oh, but you're so right. You just don't know how right you are.

I'm not accustomed really to going out publicly with a married man.

And if I'd had a chance to ask you at the party,

I don't know that I would have accompanied you here.

Well, this is all quite innocent, isn't it?

If it is, it's the first time I ever ran into it under similar circumstances.

Of course, my first impulse was to go directly to Arabia myself

and take a good look-see at the situation.

I was certain those chaps from Socony Standard of New Jersey…

would have somebody on the spot.

After all, there's quite a tidy little sum involved,

two or three hundred million.

- I wasn't going to take any chances. - Well, naturally.

Trouble is it looks like I've got a thing for guys who work in gas stations.

I never met one yet that didn't send me.

This one handled a pump for Standard Oil.

You don't own that, do you?

Oh, no, no. Standard Oil is one of the interests

of a man named, I believe, Rockefeller.

Is he a friend of yours?

No, no, I'm afraid not.

Oh, well. But as I was saying…

When you live in a lunatic asylum like that,

you've got to get out of town every now and then.

- You know what I mean? - Perfectly.

I've got that all fixed now. I've got me a lodge up in Maine.

I love lodges.

- You do? - Simply adore them.

You mean, uh,

you'd like to see mine?

Oh, well, I was speaking more figuratively than relatively.

Because if you would, I'm going up there Friday afternoon.

Simply adore 'em!

If you wanna know what kind of a guy I've got…

All I can say is I'm a very happy woman.

Not only is Mr. Hanley a perfect doll, but he's absolutely unaffiliated.

- You don't think he's a little old? - Grow up, will you?

Men with that much dough are never a little old.

Mine's loaded too, but he's a real yawn.

- He doesn't look single to me either. - He's not.

- What are you wasting time on him for? - What else have I got?

Unless you'd like me to lose him and join you and your friend.

You do, and I'll break your neck in front of this restaurant.

- Besides, he's invited me to a party. - Oh, yeah? When?

We're leaving Friday afternoon.

- Leaving for where? - His lodge in Maine.

- You out of your mind? - I don't think so. I like lodges.

You can't go. It's a violation of the whole idea.

Why is it? I could meet somebody else up there, couldn't I?

Who are you going to meet in Maine, Eskimos?

Did you see this fellow I'm with?

- I saw him. - What's he look like?

- Very nice for a one-eyed man. - Is that all he's got?

What do you think he's got that patch on for?

I didn't know it was a patch. I thought somebody might have belted him.

Why can't you keep those cheaters on long enough to see who you're with?

I'm not going to take a chance like that.

You know what they say about girls who wear glasses.

Maybe somebody shot him in the eye.

He sounds just wonderful. I was curious to know what he looked like.

- Who is he? - I don't know that either.

But he hasn't mentioned anything under a million dollars yet.

My guy's real class. Never mentions his wealth, just refers to it.

All Mr. Brewster talks about is what a horrible family he's got.

But I'll say this for him, we haven't ordered anything yet

under five dollars a portion.

If there's anything left over, tell the waiter you want it for the dog.

We'd better be getting back before they cool off.

Where's Maine, anyway?

I'll take that and that and that and that.

And that and that.

And that and that and that and that.

- And charge it. - Certainly, Mrs. Hanley.

Next stop Arabia, sir.

- Is he kidding? - Not at all.

It's an old custom of the East to make the stranger feel welcome.

You can tell him from me I think he's simply a doll,

and I couldn't be crazier about these old Eastern customs.

Hello, Fashion House? Is Mr. Antoine in for Mr. Brookman?

Thank you.

Mr. Antoine?

On the phone.

- Tony? Hiya, boy. - Yes?

- How are you? - Fine, fine.

How are you fixed for stuff for Florida, beach stuff and all that?

- You mean ultra? - I got an aunt I want to get stuff for.

- How old is she? - About 25. A very young type aunt.

- I'm sure I could accommodate you. - Could I see it on them?

- Today? - That's right. That's the idea.

Tony, you know a model named Schatze?

- Who? - Schatze.

- Oh, Mrs. Page. - That's the one.

- Oh, nice joint you got here, Tony. - Thank you, sir.

- Please sit here. - If you'll excuse me.

Your aunt, is she blond or brunette?

It depends entirely on the weather.

The way I'm going to handle it, I'm not going to stall with Mr. Hanley.

What are you going to do, mother him?

No, that's all right for kids, but I don't think a mother

is exactly what Mr. Hanley has in mind.

Our first we call "Rainbow Over the Everglades."

It's a pastel plaid, silk organza day dress with a voluminous skirt

for cocktail parties and afternoon gatherings.

You know, of course, that diamonds are a girl's best friend.

And this is our proof of it.

You're not really thinking of going away with that chowder head, are you?

Oh, for heaven's sake, no!

- You're on, Loke. - Oh, goodness!

This one we call "Looky, Looky, Looky."

It begins as a spectator's sports dress.

- Well, get you. - Hi.

Which converts into a one-piece play costume

of Jersey and checked-matching wool.

Our next we call "Good Afternoon, Sweetheart."

This is an afternoon tea dress, which plunges in the back rather than the front.

Made of imported printed sheer, with parasol to match.

You like that, monsieur?

Comme Ci, comme Ci.

That guy's really the end of the line.

Still think he's kinda cute.

- Who is he? - That garage man.

- What garage? - That fella I got with the cold cuts.

"Trouble in the Afternoon." A beach boy's shirt of pink and white gingham,

with a deep rose crushed cummerbund.

And a coolie hat of natural straw.

"Hard-Hearted Hannah" is a Palm Beach stroller

consisting of mustard crash pants

and a shirttail blouse of Grey and white silk.

Next we have "Double Frozen Daiquiris."

A beach costume of sleek blue pants of fine wool,

with a wrap around of Thai silk.

You will notice the Egyptian influence in the bizarre raffia hat.

"South of the Border" is Mexican crepe of black cotton twill,

a tamale-colored serape and a peon straw hat.

Could I take another look at that pink-and-blue job?

But of course, sir. Miss Schatze.

- Much obliged, Tony. - Not at all, sir.

Did you see anything I could put aside for you?

Nope. I don't see anything here that I want. Thanks again, Tony.

All right, girls. Thank you.

- Mr. Antoine? - Yes?

- I know that guy. He's a screw pot. - A screw pot?

- He's making a chump out of you. - Miss Schatze.

- Yes? - Do I tell you how to put on a girdle?

You bet your sweet life you don't.

Then, would you be good enough not to tell me how to run my business?

Shh!

- Mr. Brewster? - Yes.

Take these.

Aboard!

You're not the regular driver, are you?

No, sir. Pa's the regular driver.

But he went to a Republican rally last night and didn't get up this morning.

It certainly is a funny place for it.

Funny place for what?

A convention.

- What's this? - The lodge, naturally.

This house?

It'll look better when I get a fire going.

- But where are the others? - Other what?

- Members. - I'm sorry, Miss Dempsey.

I don't know what you're talking about half the time. What members?

- You said it was a lodge, didn't you? - I did and it is.

Then, where are the members. Like the Elks Lodge.

Mother and I went to an Elks Lodge convention in Philadelphia,

and there were thousands of members there.

It was one of the happiest times of our life.

Is that what you really thought this was?

Well, naturally. What else?

- Where do you want these? - Back in the car.

What's the matter? Something wrong?

No, just going back to New York, that's all.

Well, not today, you're not. No more trains till tomorrow.

Oh, I may slit my throat.

- Would you like a fire? - I was about to…

That's all right. I'll do it.

Never saw so much snow in my life.

I'm sorry about all this. If you'll just be patient,

I'll try to get you out of here as soon as I possibly can.

I figured I might have to put on some of those skis, but not in all this snow.

I'll tell you what. I have some old Medford rum in the pantry.

I'll get a drink for you. And meanwhile, maybe you'd like a little music.

Meanwhile, maybe I'd like a little poison too.

"You'll Never Know How Much I Love You"

You got radio all the way up here?

Oh, sure. Radio and houses, everything.

There. Maybe you'd better take the first one straight.

Just listen to that music, all the way from New York. Good all Harry James.

Is it really? How can you tell?

Oh, I can tell it's Harry James because it is Harry James.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are listening to the music of Ziggy Colombo,

- coming to you from the… - Turn that liar off.

Why don't you stop acting like a spoiled brat and behave yourself?

I've never been mixed up in a situation like this before.

As long as I'm in my right mind, I never will again.

But it's not doing either of us any good to stand here and jaw at each other.

I feel awful. All tingly.

Well, I wish I did. Drink it. Drink it.

Is this rum?

Medford Rum. It's over 100 years old.

Then I'm sick. I've got a fever. Call a doctor immediately.

- What are you talking about? - I've got a fever, I tell you.

Whenever rum smells like a carnation, I've got a fever.

We've got to get a doctor right away.

- There's no reason to get hysterical. - Don't you hit me!

I'm not going to hit you. I want to feel your forehead.

- There's a thermometer outside the door. - Get it! Get it!

Will you please call a doctor? I know when I've got a fever.

You do feel a little warm.

Are you going to call a doctor or not?

I can't call a doctor. Everybody knows me here. Don't you understand?

What am I supposed to do, die because you got a big name around here?

- It's a little large, but... - Is there a hospital around here?

- Open your mouth. - What's that?

- I want to take your temperature. - Not with that flute.

It's not a flute, it's a thermometer. Look.

That's not for people, it's for blizzards.

Open your mouth, I tell you.

And don't you try to talk until I take that out.

If it was my daughter, you know what I'd do?

Well, she's not your daughter. She's not my daughter either,

if that's what you're driving at.

- How much is it? - One hundred and two.

- Is that bad? - It's definitely a slight temperature.

Maybe you call it slight in the city of New York,

but in Maine, she oughta be in bed.

I'm gonna die. I know it.

I'm gonna die out here in this jungle!

If you want, I'll call Ma. She's a practical nurse.

- Oh, what good will that do? - We can tell her the symptoms.

She'll give us the answers.

All right. But be very careful what you tell her.

I'll tell her what you tell me to tell her.

Hazel? Eben.

Ring Ma, will ya?

Brewster's Lodge. Yeah, he's here with…

- Shh! - His skis.

If it's mumps, I'll die.

Ma? Say, what's it a sign of when a girl is shivering and shaking

and has a temperature of 102?

- Her eyes watering? - Like two faucets.

They're watering.

Look at her tongue.

It looks kind of red.

Tongue's blotchy.

Look behind her ears.

Have you been scratching yourself?

Of course not. Models aren't allowed to scratch.

Breaking out behind the ears.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

I see. Okay, thanks, Ma.

- You got nothing to worry about. - What is it?

- Measles. - Measles!

And I've got nothing to worry about.

"Get her to bed," Ma says.

Keep her quiet and the room dark so you can avoid complications.

She'll be as good as new in a week or two.

Oh!

- Keep it. - Much obliged.

Yes, sir.

- Hi, Mike. - Well, for goodness sakes.

How are you, Mr. Denmark? I thought you were in Europe.

I was. Come back here.

You're a friend of mine, aren't you?

- You bet your life, sir. - Yeah, well,

I'm in a little jam with the income tax department, and I need your help.

Anything you want, sir. I've had a little trouble…

… with those people myself from time to time.

- Who's got my apartment now? - Three young ladies, sir.

- Business women, I believe. - Yeah, well,

I gotta get in there for a few minutes. Think you can arrange it?

You can get in there now, sir. They're both out for the evening.

One of them's with a Texas fellow, and the other's with the one-eyed man.

- How about the other one? - Oh, she's away at an Elks convention.