All language subtitles for Shameless.US.S06E07.720p.BluRay.x264-DEMAND

Jesus Christ, it's a simple question!

Who can tell me what happened
on Shameless last week?

I know you were watching last week

instead of doing your
quantum physics homework.

What about you?

Any of you deadbeats
watch what happened last week?

- CHUCKIE: Grandma!
- Queenie?

I was looking for this
chubby little menace. Good to see you.

God. Let's do it. Take your pants down.

We still need a volunteer to host

the foster child
we're receiving this morning.

- We'll take him.
- What?

We're here!

Well, the good Lord gave us
a few more refugees than we expected.

Since I've been sick,
I haven't been much use.

There's no shame in having help.

- She was dying!
- Now she's not.

There's no way they're gonna
keep a nanny if Erica is healthy.

You gotta find another way in.

I try to find the secret life in things.

Can I kiss you?

Klimt, I got it for you.

Those paintings I mentioned,
prepare to have your mind blown.

If she loses her job because of me,
she's never gonna wanna see me again.

- What, that's how you want to end this?
- Don't follow me. Don't text me.

Gus wouldn't sign.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Buy back the house.

Yo, what did you do?

Why?

-(WOMAN SOBBING)
-(SIREN BLARING)

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

(RAP SONG PLAYING)

-(QUEENIE MOANING)
- FRANK: Give it to me, mama. Yeah!

Every little ripple.

QUEENIE: Oh, ho! That's it! That's it!
That's it, Frankie baby! Right there!

-(QUEENIE MOANING)
- FRANK: Yes, baby! Oh, God!

-(FRANKIE AND QUEENIE MOANING)
- FRANK: Yeah, I got you - I got you-.

Yo, Pedro, I want that
delivery here in an hour.

If not, somebody gonna get docked.

(FRANK AND QUEENIE MOANING LOUDLY)

(ALARM RINGING)

(GROANING)

Your mouth would be a much better alarm.

Well, hit snooze. Let's double our luck.

I gotta get back.

- I gotta not let you get back.
-(LAUGHS)

This has been really nice,
the past couple nights.

No kids. No chaos. But...

- You need the chaos?
- I need to check on some things.

Something's going on with Carl.

He's acting like he owns the place,
which... I guess he kinda does...

Does Frank still have that
hippie over there?

Yeah, doing God knows what.

Well, no hippies here. Just me and you.

(MOANING)

I gotta pick Liam up,
take him to Head Start.

- Can I get a ride?
- If I could get a ride first.

- What's 10 more minutes?
- Okay.

Breakfast, my offspring!

Who wants to join Papa and Queenie
for some morning fuel?

Mmm...
Cleans your insides, Frankie.

Smells like you wouldn't know
a colon cleanse

if it ran right through
your cute little rectum.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Thank you, my confederate Queen.

The rest of these ingrates could
care less about the state of my colon.

But not you.

Well, you're the king of your castle,
Frankie.

Don't let those young'uns
forget who's papa.

I'm glad someone finally recognizes that.

And you're still a sexy fucker.

I've got a brand new liver.
I'm as good as 18 again.

Uh, hell of a stud you were at that age.

You could do things with your tongue
that would make a rattlesnake blush. Whoo!

Best sexual era of my life.

The south side was never so bright
as the day you crossed

the Mason-Dixon line
and came into my loins.

-(LAUGHS)
- And now,

it's 18-year-old déja vu all over again.

Oh, just temporary, Frankie.
The grandson's probation papers

should be coming through
in the next three days,

and then it is back to the Eco Village
for Chuckie and me.

That's nonsense. What do they got
on a farm we don't have here?

Eco-conscious living.
Everything is solar-powered.

Working out there as an herbalist.

- An herbalist?
- Yeah, organic farming.

It's not like all this urban wasteland
that you have here.

I finally found my calling, Frankie.

Helping and healing people.
That's what I do.

You can't leave now.
We're having too much fun!

What's a King without a Queenie
by his side?

Now, them's the rules of free love,
Frankie.

Mama is a rollin' stone.

Now, drink up.

Wow!

(ALARM RINGING)

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

- What time is it?
- Twenty minutes till your class starts.

Well, seems we have
properly drowned our woes.

- You'll have to teach class today.
- I think I'm still wasted.

Sign of a successful evening in the cups.
What say we handle this professionally?

- I'll flip you for it.
- All right. Got a coin?

(GROANS)

I got it.

- Heads or tails?
- Tails.

Okay.

- You're up.
- Son of a bitch.

Uh, excuse me,
what the hell are you doing?

- Who are you?
- This is my house.

- The owner approved everything.
- The owner?

Mr. Gallagher.

(SIGHS)

Frank, you ordered all this stuff?

Wrong Mr. Gallagher.

Your young brother's responsible
for all of these improvements.

Carl?

Only one around here
I see making an honest living.

I need for someone to sign
this liquor shipment.

That would be me, sir.
What's a father for,

if not to help his son
acquire life's liquid pleasures?

(METAL CLAN KING)

- Uh, what are you doing in my room?
- Shit.

- Thought you moved out.
- Well, I didn't.

Carl kicked me out, and yours was empty.

Couch is still free.

Where you want these now, Mr. Gallagher?

Right over there
with the rest of the shipment.

Hey, yo, tell your boss next time
if they ain't got any peach vodka,

I'm gonna find myself a new distributor.

What the hell is going on?

Upgrading the crib,
since it's technically mine now.

- Not with my name on the deed, it's not.
- With my money it is.

Got some homies coming over
later to kick it.

- Place gonna be popping. You feel me?
- Yeah. We feel you.

Your homie Nick put you up to this?

- Yeah, Nick's gone.
- Where?

- You guys get in a fight or something?
- I gotta bounce.

If you ever need to talk,
just give me a holler.

(SCOFFS) Yeah.
Thanks, Dr. Phil, but I'm good.

Frank gets a bedroom
and I get the fucking couch, yeah?

No fucking way.

Fuck!

You could just stay at my place tonight.

I just got us the house back.
I'm not getting booted out. God damn it!

You awake? Hi!

First time I've had the energy
to cook in forever.

- Umm, I can go start on the kids' lunches.
- Uh,no.

- Umm, we need to talk.
-ls everything okay?

I want you to know that
it's been great having you here,

and I'll always appreciate
how much you helped our family.

Well, I really love being here.
Feels like home.

Umm.

I put a bonus in your last check just to
thank you for all that you've done.

I really, I wish that
we could keep you, but...

With my cancer in remission,
we really can't afford it.

Wait. You're letting me go?
Just like that?

What about my baby?
What about you and me?

- Wow! Oh, my gosh!
- What, is it the baby? Did it kick?

First time ever! You wanna feel it?

Okay.

You're so cool and I really wish
we could bond more.

Do you think maybe
we could talk about it later

when the kids aren't around?
Just us girls?

Of course. Of course, we can.

All right! Pack it in there,
God's little army.

We still got one more pick-up
before we hit the road.

Tell God we deserve an extra stash
for his little army.

These rug rats ate us out
of house and home.

Well, you better pray on it, 'cause that's
the only way you're getting more cash.

The church is tapped, honey.

Reverend Michaels
drives a brand new Beemer

and flashes that tacky gold watch
every time he waves hello.

Don't you be bad-mouthing
Reverend Michaels.

The good Lord wants us to be prosperous.

Rewards the devout with
all sorts of heavenly gifts.

Earthly ones, too.

The man wears thousand-dollar suits
and Gucci loafers.

- What's this?
- To keep you safe.

A shiv.

(ENGINE STARTING)

Gonna miss our little bouncers.

No mass murders, kids.

- Well, back to peace and quiet.
- Peace, my ass.

House full of kids,
no bonus, no paid vacation,

god better be handing out charity rebates.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

He'!-

- Hungry?
- I am now. What you got?

Pancakes, eggs and sausage.
Whatever you like.

You offering me morning sausage?

Shit, am I interrupting something?

Making a wedding gift for my cousin.
No big deal.

- Looks cool.
- Wanna touch it?

- The flower?
-(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

It's beautiful.

Yeah, my cousin won't appreciate it,
but I don't care. It's all in the giving.

You headed to the firehouse today?
Was hoping I could tag along.

No, took it off for the wedding.

Whole family in attendance.
Should be fun.

Oh, okay.

You thought anymore about applying?

- To be a fireman?
- Yeah, why not?

I don't know where I'd start, honestly.

You start as an EMT.
I can help you apply.

- Yeah?
- Sure. What do you have to lose?

Yeah, maybe.

I should go, let you get ready.

Hey, listen. Listen.

I don't know if
it's too weird or whatever,

but would you wanna be my wedding date?

My family's a bit much

but I think you would make
the whole thing a lot more fun.

All you gotta do is eat
whatever my Aunt Francine offers you.

And dance with me when Rihanna comes on.

I can do that.

- Wassup, my dude? How you feelin'?
- Hey, what's up? Chillin'.

Word on the yard is
we all bouncin' after fourth period

and postin' up at your crib.

Yeah. No doubt.

Yo, I heard you got
that recording studio and whatnot.

You gonna let ya boy get up on the mic?

- You can't spit, dawg.
- Shut up, dude. I gots bars.

Yo, no worries. I got you on the mic.

We also got that puff puff pass
for that ass, too.

But y'all gotta bring
some homies through.

Place gonna be bumpin'.
Like a pimp's paradise.

That's wassup. Catch you later, fam.

- A'ight.
- Peace.

Phillip Gallagher here to see you,
Ms. Taylor.

Thank you, Toria. Send him in.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I got this letter in my mailbox.

Says I'm terminated
as a Resident Assistant.

Does this have something to do with me
and Professor Runyon?

This has nothing to do
with Professor Runyon.

This is about you
vandalizing dorm property.

Vandalizing?

Painting on the walls of your room.
That's not allowed.

Okay, well, where am I supposed to live?

I'm sorry. You need to remove
your things from the dorm today.

- Kid, what are you doing here?
- They sent me home from school.

Well, beat it. Your grandma and I
are gonna get into some action.

No cock-blocking.

- Hey, wait! What's going on here?
- Yeah, buddy. Who got you all snot-nosed?

Oh, my gosh.

Who upset my little woodchuck?

They suspended me.

Well, you weren't fighting, were you?
You're still on probation.

No. My teacher wouldn't let me
share my book report in class.

And sent me to the principal's office.

Well, what for?

Well, it's just a wild guess,
but maybe the report topic?

"Mein Kampf."

Hitler's Mein Kampf?

Advanced level fascism.
I didn't even know the boy could read.

(SIGHS) Well, I would've preferred Gandhi,
but it's not your fault.

The juvenile prison system
has warped your brain.

(CRYING)

(SHUSHING) It's okay.

Grandpa and me can teach you
school right here, okay?

No, no...

Let's not be hasty.

We shouldn't pull young upchuck out
till he finishes the school year.

He needs social interaction
with his peers.

Isolation could wreak havoc
on his underdeveloped mind.

Hey! Hey, buddy.

You let Grandpa Frank work his magic
on the middle school P.C. police, okay?

Okay.

Chuckles.

- I got a surprise for you.
- What's this?

The hotel we're staying at
as soon as you pack your bags.

It's got city views overlooking
whatever Gary, Indiana, has to offer.

But it's got a pool, it's got a bar,
and we're going there.

And check this out! Honeymoon suite.

Baby, you were right.
We earned a vacation.

- You planned this yourself?
- I wanted to surprise you.

You know, for all the shit that I've been
giving you the past few weeks.

I can't believe you actually
organized a trip for me!

- Wait, who's gonna watch the girls?
- I got it covered.

I watch chocolate-vanilla babies.
For small fee. You go vacation.

Baby!

Carl! Hey, umm, I need some help.
Got any tips on gay sex?

- What?
- DEBS: Like in juvie or whatever.

- I didn't do gay sex in juvie.
- No, but like,

what'd you see?
Didn't people talk about it all the time?

I need to figure out
how to reverse the instructions.

Or maybe you can't
reverse the instructions? I don't know.

Is there like a basic rule or something?

I can't do this right now.
I got too much on my mind.

You watch lots of porn, Carl.
What about lesbian sex?

I need details, Carl.
My baby's future depends on it.

Fine!

- Uh, do the shocker.
- The shocker?

Two in the pink, one in the stink.
I'll text you a pic.

(PHONE BEEPS)

(BELL DINGS)

Holy shit, someone's in outer space.

- OJ in the coffee? Nice.
- Shit.

Community college dine and dashers.

We got three out the door and last one
ready to break. Keep watch.

- God damn it!
- Hey.

- Fuck!
- Hey, hey, careful, I like those hands.

I'm a fucking mess.

The stuff at home?

It's like I stay away for a few nights
and suddenly I'm in exile.

- Family growing pains, it's normal.
-(SIGHS)

Truth is, I... I kinda like being in the
middle of everyone's shit, you know?

- Is that crazy?
- Well, slightly compulsive.

There's no rule that says you gotta
stay there every night to be involved.

(SCOFFS) Apparently, there is.

Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Patsy's,
call for the missus on line two.

Got it, thanks.

This is Fiona. Yes?

(GROANS) Okay. I'll be right there.

Liam's got lice.
I gotta go pick him up at school.

And just like that, you're right back
in the shit. Feel better?

- You mind if I take off?
- No, go. We can handle it without you.

You wanna come over for dinner
at the house later?

Ha! And risk catching lice?

- I'm gonna take that as a yes.
- Uh-huh. All right.

My kid had lice. Nobody gave me
time off for it, either.

Had to comb it out for two weeks straight.

Two weeks?

(GROANS)

$27.50, you little shithead.
And a five buck tip. Cash.

- Shitty day, huh?
- Yep.

Heard what happened earlier.
School bureaucracy is such bullshit.

I'm Toria. From Ms. Taylor's office?

Oh, oh! Yeah. Hey.

You heading to student housing?
That place is swamped.

No, no. I can't afford it.
You know, it was free when I was an RA.

I'm probably gonna have to move home.

You any good in the kitchen?

The house mother from my sorority is
interviewing for House Boy today.

I thought you might be interested.

Last one knocked up one of the pledges
and got booted, so...

Comes with room and board.

I could give you a heads-up
if you wanted.

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

- Info's on this flier.
- Thanks.

- Hey, wait, what's this?
- My handle. If you're ever on lnstagram.

- You not gonna speak?
- Oh, hey.

Okay.

You went from being sprung
to being stuck up?

You skipping today?

I've got too much on my mind.
Trying to get my head straight.

- Where's your bodyguard?
- Gone.

Probably for a long time.

Is it okay if I sit here awhile?

Yeah, that'd be okay.

You hungry?

Don't worry about being
the only cream in the coffee.

You're blending perfectly.

- Your family knows you're gay, right?
- Oh, yeah. They know.

Eat the hell out of that egg.

Aunt Francine will shove it down
your throat if you don't.

Mmm.

I'm not used to so many relatives
being under the same roof

without the cops chasing someone
through the place.

Your family's so functional.

Well, functional can be
a tricky little bitch.

Son, were you going to come
and greet your mother and I?

Or did you think you could
avoid us all day?

We just got here.
Mom and Dad, this is Ian.

We met at the firehouse
and have been hanging out lately.

- Hi.
-Ian, these are my folks.

Hello, I'm Ronetta.
And this is Pastor Daniels.

Where's your church home, Ian?

L... I don't have a church home.

Well, Caleb should invite you
to come with us sometime.

- We'd love to have you.
- Okay.

If you can get him to show up.
Wedding's starting soon. Excuse us.

Your dad's a pastor? Didn't think about
giving me the heads-up on that one?

Hey! Nothing I say could really
prepare you for any of this.

But don't worry.

You'll have plenty of time
to get acquainted

-before he plans our homo-exorcism.
- Homo-what?

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

- Mr. and Mrs. Slott.
- Gallagher, for me.

Your grandson Charles tried to
read a very offensive book report

to Mr. Schwiebert's class.

The boy doesn't know what he's saying.

Our grandson is a little slow
between the ears.

Your grandson seems to believe
that he's a Nazi.

- Any ideas where he's getting that from?
- Most likely other Nazis.

Charles received a suspension
as a lesson for his behavior

and a failing grade on the paper.

His shit-for-brains mother couldn't
pass gas, let alone middle school.

My grandson wrote an entire report here
and you're gonna fail him for this?

Hey, I read it. Couple of
grammatical things here and there,

he didn't remember to capitalize
"Auschwitz," but the kid can write.

Hitler's diatribe on Aryan superiority

is not an appropriate theme
for a sixth grade book report.

Did you tell the class
they couldn't write about Nazis?

Well, usually, they're not writing
from the Nazi perspective, so, no.

Look, it's okay to
write about mass murderers,

you just can't side
with the mass murderers.

Uh, this is a direct attack
on his First Amendment rights.

A right, I might add,
that belongs to everyone,

regardless of intelligence deficiencies
or possible retardation.

Yes. But there are
conditions to those rights.

Like yelling fire in a public theater

or preaching white supremacy
to middle school students.

Look, we simply can't allow
Hitler's hate speech

to alienate our diverse student body.

We've worked very hard to create
an open atmosphere for all our students.

Look, you can't go teaching equality

and then get your
human rights panties in a bunch

when it comes with a couple of wedgies.
Every asshole is entitled to his beliefs.

That's the yin and the yang of democracy.

It's this same freedom that allows you
to teach wearing that silly beanie

and those Crayola-colored kids out
there to go to school together.

And it, it doesn't matter, anyway!
Pretty soon, there's not gonna be

any Jew or Aryan or Hindu or Muslim
or Mexican or Blacks.

It's just gonna be the rich
and the fucked,

and our grandson
is already one of the fucked.

So, at least let the boy express
the degenerate ideas

he can actually comprehend.

And that, my multicultural friends,
is liberty and justice for all!

Or we could call the Attorney General
and the ACLU.

I'm sorry. I probably
should've started with that.

WOMAN: I'm Marilyn,
the sorority house mother.

You're the young man Toria recommended?

Yeah, yeah, she, she said you
might need some help in the kitchen.

And the bathroom, laundry room,
common areas.

Occasionally, killing a bug,
maybe being handy with a hammer.

- You think you can handle that?
- Sure, yeah.

Uh, she said it came with housing, though?
I need a place to crash.

There's a room and a shower in the
basement where you can sleep.

Now, you are not allowed to
use the bathroom on the upper levels.

That is a strict policy. Understood?

I'm sorry. The, the room, though,
it's, it's here in the house?

Yeah, and three squares a day.

We're backed up for rush, so if you can
start today, you're hired.

Yeah. No, I can, I can start immediately.

Get settled in and we'll see you at lunch.

Congratulations. You're the new
house boy of Gamma Delta Rho.

Right.

(GIGGLING)

Oh! We got a king-size bed! Sweet!

Ooh! You know what,
we should take some of these.

And then call down for some more, later.

(EXCLAIMS)

Sheesh!

What do you think? Piss or jizz?

Probably A and B.
Some R. Kelly freaky combo shit.

- When'd you pack that?
- When I yelped this place.

What, you packed those, too?

DIY, bitches.

Whatever animal hatched up in this piece
is about to get aroma therapied.

Baby, look, from here on out,
it is total relaxation for you, okay?

Please let me take care
of everything else. You promise?

Of course, baby.

Now, let's go down to the bar.
They've got drink specials,

and free mini hot-dogs
and spicy wings until sundown.

How do you always know everything?

Oh, my God. He's cute.

He's so hot.

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

Two mugs for me and the lady,
and a soda for the retard.

Celebrating a victory
in educational democracy.

Democracy can suck my ass.

Fucking Obamacare wins and the
insurance companies still dick you.

Interesting ritual. For what, might I ask?

- I make sterile for mouth.
- Tommy's got some rot teeth.

Little shop of horrors here is gonna
remove 'em for me.

Tell me, who is thick gypsy woman
I make drinks for?

Fellas and Russian,
that Southern-fried pork chop

is the finest fuck I ever let get away.

The sensations folded in that
earthly body are aplenty.

Got yourself a real Dixie chick, Frank?

That woman knows how to treat
a fella like royalty.

If not for her,
anarchy would rule in my house.

She's the key to my survival around here.
Can't let this one slip away.

- Go get 'em, stud.
-(CHUCKLES)

For the lady.

Frankie, I have to tell you,

you were pretty fantastic
at the school today.

Your animal instincts came out.
Got me all moist in the thighs.

Yeah, we make a fine pair
of primates, don't we?

(LAUGHS) What are you talking about?
We're terrible together, Frankie.

Why ever would you say such a thing?

I tried to smash your head in the car
door not once, but twice.

- You remember?
- Vaguely.

And you told everybody
I was nothing but a good fuck

on the washing machine at the laundromat.

Taken out of context.

Not to mention the fact that you split

after I told you that I was knocked-up
with our psychopath daughter.

Sammi has never been fit
to raise that boy.

And you're partly to blame.
She's your neglected seed.

I'm more mature now.
Age is love's best refinery.

Give me a second chance to get it right.

Back in the Eco Village, Frankie,
I'm the healer.

I have to go where I'm needed most.

Your healing powers could
work wonders around here.

As a matter of fact, I know the
perfect person who could use your help.

Have I mentioned to you
my impregnated teenage daughter?

You have a pregnant daughter?

As a matter of fact, would you
excuse me for one second?

Gotta check on the poor thing.

I'm all she's got to get her
through this very confusing time.

Quick. I gotta borrow a phone.

- Two dollars, I loan you cell.
- For one lousy text message?

- Fine, $20.
- Oh, come on!

You're such a role model, Debbie.

Your decision to raise a child
on your own is inspiring.

- Me? Really?
- Yeah. Absolutely.

I didn't have half the strength
at 18 that you have.

You're so sure of yourself.
I just know you're going to go far.

This is nice, right? Just you and me,
hanging out together.

It is.

I'm going to miss you.

You, you promise you'll still
come around and say hello? Please?

Debbie, wait--

I really wanna stay here.
It can be great for us. I can prove it.

What-- What about Tyler? And the kids?

We can all be one big happy family.
Everyone can get what they want.

Wait. No, no, no. Debbie-- (LAUGHS)
Debbie! Oh, my God! You're so cute.

Oh, my God. You make me feel like
I'm 18 again! Debbie, no!

This is crazy! Oh, my God! No...

Are we really doing this?

Um, I would just like to
announce my resignation.

Also, I'm only 15 and I like boys.

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

- Yay! Slide!
- No, no, no. No slide.

Excuse me. This is not a motel, thank you.

Ugh, Carl, get your homies out of here.
Party's over.

- I got shit to take care of.
- Yo, I'm not kidding!

Liam's got lice,
I gotta disinfect the whole house.

That's not my problem.

What is with you right now?

Okay, good boy,
sit there and don't move, okay?

- Okay.
- BOY: The fuck?

Party is over. Now.

- Man, let's go. This ain't cool.
- Everybody out!

Bye! Those are my fuckin' Fritos!

This is a weak-ass party, anyways.

We are happy to join these two
in the sacred bond of holy matrimony.

And we must remember

that God is going to watch

and bless this marriage at all times.

God is always watching at all times.

He's with us behind all closed doors.

In the shower. In the bedroom.

When you are naked
and when you are clothed.

We cannot hide.

Mmm...

And so shall these two be blessed forever

under God's...

- God must have some serious insomnia.
-(LAUGHS)

(CAR ALARM BEEPING)

What do you think? Motion of the ocean,
or actual penetration?

Tricky. I'm gonna go with A
and a possible B.

You tell my momma to stop by the house
and turn on some lights?

Folks find out we're not home,
our crib'll turn into a swap meet.

I got it. Everything's handled.

You called Svetlana
and checked on the girls?

Yes, like a half hour ago.
They're perfect.

Will you give me
just a little bit of trust?

I've got everything handled.
I'm trying to be a hero here.

You're right, babe. I'm tripping.
I'm sure everything's fine.

(WOMAN MOANING)

Come on, Tommy.
You've done this before, right?

- Make it quick.
- On three.

One, two--

(SCREAMING)

- Nazdarovie!
- Fuck! Something! Shit!

- What does the duck say?
- Quack.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, he does.

Oh, close your eyes.

Well, at least someone
didn't forget her daily chores.

Bite it, Frank. Liam's got lice.

I already stripped the beds,
put the linens in the wash.

I gotta get started
with the disinfectant spray.

Oh, honey lamb,
chemicals are not the way to go.

- I'm sorry, what?
- Tea tree oil.

Toxic free. Runs all those
little buggers away.

And it's better for the environment.

Well, I already shampooed him
with the toxic chemicals. But thanks.

Well, you'll end up giving the little one
cancer or a third nipple.

Be organic all you want,
but we have a system

for getting rid of lice
that actually works.

Been doing it for years.

- I told you I'm handling it.
- Little extra help.

- Best way to fight nature is with nature.
- This is not nature. This is our house.

And nobody around here
wants to deal with lice

for an extra month
just to be chemical-free.

Come on, Liam,
let's get some more chemicals.

Come on.

Decades of pollutants
have left her completely destroyed.

(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

- Hello?
- Hi, hi.

I live up the street and I heard about
what happened here and your loss.

I just wanted to offer my condolences.

There's some money in here
and around five grams.

You guys could sell it and maybe

it'll help with the funeral expenses
or whatever--

No, thank you. Please leave.

He'!-

- I knew you'd get the job.
- Oh, yeah, thanks for the referral.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly
what a house boy is,

but the pay is cool.

Our sorority throws the best parties.
Lots of fringe benefits.

- Good to know.
- Hey, umm...

Do you want any company later?
It can get kinda creepy in the basement.

Uh...

- Yeah, yeah, I guess.
- Okay. Cool.

Cool.

Hello? Anybody here?

Well, if it isn't my knocked-up Deb!
What a pleasant surprise.

- Well, you texted me to come home.
- How's my unborn grandchild?

- How did we get the house back?
- Carl's financing.

Renovations just in time
to build a nursery, huh?

Sit down, sit down.
Let's get you off your feet.

Queenie, come meet the daughter
I was telling you about.

Oh!

Hi!

Such rosy cheeks and glowing skin.

Motherhood becomes you.

- Mmm.
- Who are you?

Debs, meet Queenie. This is Sammi's mom.

She could tell you a thing about
childbearing the natural way.

Oh, she can?

One can never be too prepared before
dropping the load. Right, Queenie?

I can tell you how to keep
that uterus toned, healthy and happy.

I delivered my grandson, Chuckster,

-in the back of an RV.
- You did?

Yeah, I still have the stretch marks
from carrying Sammi,

and, and now they just spread like
a sexy spider web all over my belly.

You just gotta embrace it all.

Our Debs could use
a natural healer like yourself.

Especially since her sister
dropped her like a cluster bomb.

L just, I know you two are
gonna hit it off.

Come on. Let's get you some nettle leaf

and it'll help to
strengthen your placenta.

You know, you can stir fry
and eat it after birth.

- Eat the placenta?
- Mmm-hmm.

Oh!

Isn't this great?

Just chillaxing in the pool.
No killer kids. No flaming Greeks.

Just you and me and that old guy.

What are you doing?

You brought your phone down?
You were supposed to leave it upstairs.

Uh, force of habit.

Come on! You couldn't
just let me handle everything?

You just have to check on my every move

to make sure I don't screw
anything else up, right?

Kev, what the hell are you talking about?

This is Mom texting us to
bring her a souvenir back.

Oh, cool.

What's going on with you?
You've been on edge since we got here.

I know, I know. It's just...

I-- I'm just-- I'm worried that I've
worn you out dealing with all my shit.

I mean, I can't even
plan a fucking vacation right.

The stains and the smells and--
I think I saw bullet holes in the walls.

What the fuck was I thinking?

- It's not so bad.
- Oh, fuck-- It's bullshit.

Okay, it's a shithole. But who cares?
It's us having some alone-time together.

Yeah, I know. I just wanted to
do something right

without you having to fix all my fuck-ups.

Kev, this is who we are.

Dealing with your fuck-ups
is part of the deal.

Just like you dealt with me
not being able to get pregnant

and then getting pregnant
but not wanting to be a mother.

We always make it work. Who cares how?

You really mean that?

Yeah, and this vacay is a dream.
I don't give a shit how hood it is.

L just wanna have an orgasm
in a different area code.

- Well, that is one thing I can get right.
-(BOTH LAUGH)

Let's give this OI' Man Creepers
a hot show.

(MOANING)

This dude won't look away.

Maybe he likes it.

Maybe he's dead.

Don't you just love straight weddings?

Only wedding I ever been to was
when my closeted boyfriend

had to marry this pregnant hooker
that he was forced to fuck at gunpoint,

-so this isn't so bad.
-(LAUGHS)

You know, you could just
put your hand on my crotch.

- It'd work a lot better.
- Shit.

Hey, hey, are you pissed at me?

No, but if you wanted to fag-freak out
your family, you could've just told me.

Hey. I'm sorry. All right?

Am I really your date
or am I just the gay prop?

No, I want you here.

My fam is filled with a bunch of
polite homophobes

and I prefer my homophobia with
blatant bashing like normal people.

They pretend to be
too religious to notice,

but I'm just trying to make it
a little harder for them to ignore.

Okay, then let's make it
harder for them to ignore.

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY)

Too loud!

(MUSIC STOPS)

Yo!

- Carl, what the hell?
- I was listening to that!

It's too loud! What is your problem today?

You're really gonna smoke this
right in front of me?

I'm minding my own business.

Look, just because
you're going through a thing

or whatever it is you won't talk about,

does not mean you can act like an asshole.
So, if you wanna talk, I would--

I don't need to talk!
Just stop stressin' me! Damn!

"(SIGHS)
"YOU okay?

Hey! You all joining us for this evening?

We're just getting ready to
start making dinner.

I was gonna make spaghetti.

Oh, yeah, well, Queenie and I wanted to

help make a healthy
organic meal for the baby.

Yeah, that's right.
We're gonna make some kale and tofu.

- We'd love you to join.
- Since when does Debbie eat kale?

I've had to force-feed her vegetables
since she was born.

I'll do whatever's best
for the baby, Fiona.

Gotta embrace all parts of motherhood.

That a girl, Debra Moon.

"Debra Moon"?

You wanna come help wash veggies
with me, Liam? Come on.

(SIGHS)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)

WOMAN: Yes, y'all!

(WOMAN CHEERING)

- How we doing?
- I'm pretty sure we won.

(CHUCKLES)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Your friend's not coming back, is he?

Dropped a guy-

But I mean, that's the thug life, right?

I don't know that much
about the thug life...

But I've seen someone getting dropped.

You don't know how much that shit'll
haunt you until, it just does.

Bad news is, as far as I can see,

there's no real way
to pretend it never happened.

Good news is, you can always
hit the reset button.

For what that's worth.

Helene?

Helene!

Helene... Can you come out please?

Look, I just, I just want to talk, okay?

(STUTTERING) Look, I don't know how to
make things right.

(STUTTERING) Okay? But if I did, if I,
if I had a fuckin' clue how, how to,

to reverse time or...

Okay, just-- Just tell me
what to do, okay?

You want me to un-take the picture?

You want me to get kicked out?

They fuckin' threw me
outta my dorm room, okay?

I don't have shit!

Okay? It's just you and me.
It's you and me!

So you come out, please.

You just fuckin' come out
and you talk to me!

Helene!

- Mmm. Thank you. This is delicious.
-(LAUGHS)

(MOANING)

- I love this.
- Jesus, Frank. We're eating.

Yeah, not anymore.

How about a little tongue bath
to go with this meal?

(MOANING)

How about we spend the night
at your place?

How about you move in?

Seriously?

Seriously.

(LAUGHS)

Okay.

Thank you very much for the edible food,
but we've gotta be going now.

Anytime. You're always welcome here,
honey-gram.

Yeah, I know.

Seeing as how the house
is in my name, but thanks.

Come on, Liam, let's get your stuff.

- No! I want Debbie!
- Liam?

It's okay.
He can stay with me tonight. I don't care.

- Fine by me. I don't care, either.
- Cool.

(QUEENIE LAUGHING)

Let's go home.

You're pretty bad-ass.

Nobody's been able to
handle my family like that.

Compared to the dysfunction
of my family, yours are lightweights.

(LAUGHS)

Hey...

So, what are we doing?

Whatever you want, I guess.

I want you.

Now.

Hey, hey, hey.
It can be much smoother than this.

Hey...

Here you go.

- A calm, relaxing dinner.
- Yeah.

Might take some getting used to.

Well, you've had a long day, right?

A long lots of days.

Uh-oh.

What? Fuck, is it lice?

Uh, well, there's something small and tan
dancing the samba on your scalp.

(GROANS)

I should warn you, Gallagher
shit is very contagious.

TORIA: Hey, it's Toria.

You still want company?

You in there?

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hello?

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hello, you in there?

Well, this is a completely
new brand of foreplay for me.

You really... You know
how to keep it interesting, Gallagher.

Regret asking me to move in yet?

It's only been a couple hours.
I'll let you know in a few.

(CHUCKLES)

(GROANS)

Here he is. Now, where's his ugly cousin?

Frankie, you are a slimy bastard,
but I find it charming.

You've been working so hard
to keep me here, and guess what?

You win.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Oh, wait, Frankie, that's my belly button.

- It feels fucking fantastic!
- Oh, God!

QUEENIE: Oh, God! Frankie!

"...so the superiors put all the inferiors
in bad summer camps

"'cause they didn't want 'em crossing the
border and ruining the neighborhood.

"And that is why Hitler
is a great American leader."

German. But I think you've made
your point here, my young Trump.