Original subtitles

Hey. People around here get their ass beat for missing Shameless.

So sit down, shut up and catch up.

Or don't. I don't give a fuck. I'm happy to knock your fucking teeth out.

- Meds and vitals now. - What are those for?

FRANK: Antirejection, hypertension...

...depression, diuretic, and apparently...

...that is my new liver fucking me in the ass.

Ow!

What are you doing? Do not hit our daughter.

It's just the nipple.

I'm done. No more breastfeeding. I'm gonna work at the Alibi. You can stay here.

You have got to do something about your daughter.

- She's acting like a desperate teenager. - You're lying!

I don't want her and that Chuckie thing in my house anymore.

- Have a chance to call that doctor? IAN: I don't have what Monica has.

It could be bipolar disease, like our mom.

- Come see our show tonight. - Wish I could.

- I turn into a pumpkin at 9. - Maybe I'll see you later, huh?

- He leave a good tip? - He's a musician.

Never know where that tip's been.

- God, you're cheaters! Aah! - Aah! Look who's a sore sport.

Look who's madly in love.

About to start a big cleanup. They knocked over Sunny Days on Halsted.

Great. I'm in.

"Sell your home at a premium price"?

FRANK: My contribution to mankind.

I give you Frank's Milk of the Gods.

[COUGHS]

This is beer?

I call it Milk of the Gods.

Man. I think I just shit my pants.

Good to know. I'll reduce the hops.

Tell you what, though. It's bad-ass.

FRANK: What would you pay for something like that?

I got some sweet 420 that my girl baked up. Wanna trade?

- Done, done and done. - All right.

[COUGHS]

- Ah, man. - Look at that.

BOY: What?

FRANK: A new day. And I'm still alive.

[FRANK CHUCKLES]

Life is good.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

[FRANK CROWING]

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

[FRANK CROWING]

LIP: Hey. You're up early.

- I'm off house arrest as of this morning. - Ah.

And I just need a screwdriver to get this thing off.

You sure that's a good idea?

Probation office isn't open till tomorrow.

As long as I give it back undamaged, I'm good.

Dude, congratulations is not hard to say.

- Congratulations, Fiona. - Thank you.

Just try not to celebrate with any road trips or hard drugs, yeah?

No promises. One day at a time. You start your new job on a Sunday?

Yeah, it's something to do with no city inspectors working today.

FIONA: Huh.

I'm guessing they're planning on dumping toxic waste...

...where toxic waste should not be dumped.

- I'm kind of looking forward to it. - To dumping toxic waste?

No, to the job. You know, no class, no stress, no grades...

...just hauling shit and breaking shit.

It's like meditation, only with large objects.

- Meditation? You really are a 12-step monkey. - Oh, lick me.

There's my sister.

[AMY CRYING]

KEVIN: Shh, shh, shh.

- This Happiest Baby shit totally works. - Here. Happiest-Baby-shit this one.

KEVIN: Shh, shh, shh.

KEVIN: Put her there.

Give me her. Let go of Mama's hair. There we go. Yeah. Shh, shh.

[GEMMA CRYING]

It's okay. They're just loving on Pop because it's Father's Day.

- Yeah, okay. Oh, God. - Hey, so, what's the plan, anyway?

- The plan? KEVIN: Pancakes?

No. Waffles. Ooh. Chocolate-chip pancakes.

- What are you talking about? - It's Father's Day.

- It's Father's Day. - Oh, shit.

VERONICA: Okay. Yeah. Uh... Watch her. - It's Father's Day. It's Father's Day.

It's Father's Day. It's Father's Day. Look at that. Look at those skills.

Kev wants fucking pancakes.

LIP: Holy shit, are you okay? - I have twins. I'll never be okay again.

I gotta go to work, okay? Good luck with too many babies.

Good luck with the jailbreak. See you later.

- What are you doing? - I'm off house arrest.

- Do you need coffee? You look... - I look what?

Nothing. Toaster waffles in the freezer.

I'm watching the clock, counting the minutes till I can open the Alibi...

...and watch Frank drink his way through someone else's liver.

That's fun for you, is it?

Does it make me bad that I'd rather sell booze...

...to barflies than spend time with my twin spawns of Satan?

Spawns of Satan? Really?

Do you think I'm a bad mother?

Did you leave either kid on the porch last night while you were going on a drug run?

Compared to what I grew up with, you're an excellent mother.

[YELLING]

[LAUGHS]

What? What?

What, are you too tired to jump up and down with me?

Yeah, but if it helps, this is my happy face now.

All right, Lip, you're over here, buddy.

Here's what you're gonna do. You lift these large pieces of concrete...

...put them in the bucket of the Bobcat, then get some more while the Bobcat dumps them.

I get to work the Bobcat?

Okay. You're going to lift, with your hands, the large pieces of concrete...

...and put them in the bucket of the Bobcat...

...just like these assholes who don't speak English.

Then you're gonna move out of the way while the Bobcat, which has a licensed operator...

...who is me and not you, dumps them in the low load.

Then you're gonna do it again. For eight hours.

You'll stop after eight hours because I'm not paying you overtime.

You think you can handle that?

- I think I'll manage. - All right.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

Amanda, huh? Nice ta-tas.

- Why don't you give me the phone? - Why would I do that?

Phones are a hazard on the work site.

You're not gonna sue me for workman's comp because you're distracted by tits...

- ...when a brick flies at your head. - Bricks are flying at my head?

This ain't the Alibi, bitch. You work for me, you do what I say.

Thank you. Whew.

All right.

[SHOUTS IN SPANISH]

[TOMMY TRILLS]

[TOMMY LAUGHS]

Nice nipples.

And I wanna call him because he's my dad...

...and it's Father's Day.

Well, that's for me, you know? And it's selfish...

...because he doesn't wanna hear from me.

And, uh, he made that pretty clear.

Well, the restraining order made that pretty freaking clear.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

So I'm not gonna call him, and I'm just gonna work on me the best that I can.

[WHISPERING] Nice of you to stop by.

[WHISPERING] Here's your coffee-flavored sugar.

JACKIE: It's all I can do, right? You know, stay clean, go to work...

...pray when I can remember. So...

Are you ankle-flirting with me?

I've got excellent ankles. Now you can see both of them.

No monitor. How'd you get that off on a Sunday?

Screwdriver. Little bit of elbow grease.

- You're in trouble, Gallagher... - Shh, shh, shh. I'm trying to listen.

JACKIE: Then it's one more person that will never forgive me.

[CARL BURPS]

[LIAM BURPS]

Ew. Don't learn from him, Liam. He's disgusting.

LIAM: Disgusting.

- What are we gonna do for money? - Bang as many chicks as I can...

...and get so good they'll pay me to do it.

Heh. Yeah, right. You're in a wheelchair.

- Chicks dig wheelchairs. - I swear, you lose your virginity before I do...

...I'll stab you to death in your sleep.

- I'll keep it in my pants till you're 30? - Thirty?

- Forty? - It's not funny.

Yeah, it is.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

I'm going to the public pool, if you wanna come.

DEBBIE: What are you gonna do there? You can't get wet.

Did you miss the part where chicks dig wheelchairs?

Hmm. Strange man. Let me get my pepper spray.

CARL: Liam, get the door.

Hello. Uh, I'm looking for Frank Gallagher.

Why?

Oh, um... His liver was my... Was...

[WADE SOBBING]

He's one block over at Sheila's.

We just need a place to cook and a table big enough for three.

Or if you guys wanna join, that would be so wonderful.

- No. TIM: Ketchup.

FIONA: Sure. Coming right up.

- Fiona. - No, I'm sorry.

You're not cooking a Father's Day meal in my house.

- You got Table 6 or is it me? - I've got it.

Because Frank is not a father.

Not to me, not to my kids, and honestly, Sammi, not to you either.

- Here you go. Need anything else? - Tabasco.

Coming right up.

- Here you go. - More maple syrup.

Right away.

Sammi, listen to me. Frank is Frank.

He'll never be there for you or for your kid. He will disappoint you every time.

- Here you go. - Creamer.

MAN: Order up!

Absolutely. Anything else?

No.

Sure.

SAMMI: You're cynical, Fiona.

You're too young and pretty to be so cynical and hard.

It makes me feel sad for you.

Here you go. Happy Father's Day.

More butter.

Right away.

Sammi, listen to me. I'm not cynical about Frank.

I'm just finally sane.

MAN: You want them scrambled or over easy?

- Baby needs daylight. You take him for run? - Can't. Sorry, I gotta go to a funeral.

- Funeral? For who? - Some guy he doesn't even know.

- Brother-in-arms, all you need to know. - He didn't die in a war.

- It was a car accident. - Fuck you, Mickey.

He died serving his country.

All right. Guess I'm going with you.

- Can you take baby? - No, it's illegal in this country.

Uh-huh.

Hey, can you at the very least not wear a fucking uniform...

...as every MP in the world is looking for you?

He was a soldier.

Deserves your goddamn respect.

- She's still ignoring you? - Just ignore her back.

Hey, Gallagher. Looking good.

You too, Holly.

Not you. You.

- Really? HOLLY: Aw, your poor leg.

Poor baby.

She's just talking to you to mess with me.

CARL: Let's hope she just blows me to mess with you.

Excuse me. Was there a problem with your service?

Because a tip of 15 percent or more is standard...

You were slow. Thanks.

Slow?

Is it that I was slow, or is that your bloated metabolism can't handle...

...a five-minute wait for the 10 pounds of bacon you shoved down your fat throat?

Ho, ho, hey! Enough! Enough! Do I have to call the cops? What's wrong?

- No tip. - I wanna talk to your manager.

- You are. TIM: What will you do about this?

- Sir... - She disrespected him on Father's Day.

- Okay, ma'am... - Slow, rude, and my eggs were undercooked.

Respectfully, if you can't tip, you can't eat here.

Seriously? You're siding with this little slut?

[TIM GRUNTS]

JAN: Back up! Let him go!

- Let him go! - Okay, okay. Sean, let him go.

Okay, I'll let you go. But first, you apologize to my waitress...

...then you walk away and never walk down this street again, got it?

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry.

You okay?

Your lip's bleeding.

I'll ice it.

Sorry. Shit. Sorry.

I wasn't looking at your boobs.

Or that way. Well, actually, I'm looking...

...at your boobs that way. They're good boobs, I'm just...

I just wish my babies had boobs.

Shit. Sorry.

Shh, shh, shh.

- Ow, ow. My hair. Let go. - Your wife is not breastfeeding?

I don't... I don't get it. I mean, Amy bites her a couple times...

...and what, she just quits the gig?

SVETLANA: Imagine you are swimming...

...and baby shark comes out of nowhere...

...and sinks his fucking teeth into your ball sacs.

This is what it feels like when they bite nipple.

Like they have declared war.

Like if you had a hammer in your hands...

...you could bash the brains out of this little shit.

This is what it feels like.

Damn. I think I owe V an apology.

Still, it's no reason to quit. There are ways to stop biting.

Well, that's exactly what I said.

SVETLANA: My husband has no interest in baby.

Orange boy, he helps, but who helps you?

V has interest, it's just... Yeah.

No, I mean, she works a lot, so...

SVETLANA: Two babies, no help?

Give her to me.

Really?

DEBBIE: Liam, you're getting ice cream everywhere.

GIRL: Tell me the truth. BOY: God, chill. It wasn't even a thing.

GIRL: I am not chilling out. You chill out.

BOY: Jesus. GIRL: You are such a slut.

You'll screw anything with legs.

Scumbag.

Hey. Let it go. They were just fat assholes.

You're in a restaurant, Fiona. Fat assholes are my bread and butter.

- Wait, are you mad at me now? - Well, just, you could have gone to jail...

- ...for 3 bucks. - What are you talking about?

So you take off your monitor, you're still on probation. Fighting in the street?

Why are you starting shit?

I went out there to ask about my tip. You're the one who turned into a rabid dog.

Not that I didn't find that sexy, I'm not gonna lie...

...but, you know, pot, kettle.

Wow. You bring it out in me.

So it's all my fault?

Get out there before one of those fat assholes starves.

I think Chuckie's mildly retarded. Someone should probably tell Sammi.

Frank. You'll never guess what happened.

Whatever it is, I hope it's more exciting than this mentally disabled art.

- Oh, cookies. - Frank. Frank.

A Realtor came by.

And he was with two, like, very clean lesbians.

And he offered us double the market value for the house.

- Double, Frank. - You didn't accept it, did you?

No, but why not?

Double? It's got scam written all over it.

- Happy Father's Day... Aah! Aah! - Oh, sorry. Sorry, Sammi.

Sorry about that.

Frank. Can you imagine what we would do with that money?

We could go anywhere. We could travel anywhere.

Anywhere in the whole world. And she would never be able to find us.

Never find us.

PROTESTERS [CHANTING]: God kills soldiers Because America loves faggots

MINISTER: The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.

PROTESTERS: God kills soldiers Because America loves faggots

MINISTER: He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.

PROTESTERS: God kills soldiers Because America loves faggots

MINISTER: He leadeth me beside the still waters.

PROTESTERS: God kills soldiers

MINISTER: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

PROTESTERS: America loves faggots

...I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with these people?

You're in uniform and wanted by the MPs.

- Can you not make a fucking...? - Hey.

- Hey! - That's making a scene.

- Shut the fuck up! MICKEY: What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing?

They call themselves a church. I'll bash their heads in with Jesus.

- Motherfuckers! MICKEY: Shut up.

- Are you okay, son? - Fuck you!

You can't wear the uniform and wield the cross as a weapon.

I'm the problem? Huh? I'm the fucking problem? You're protecting these assholes!

Listen to me.

I hate these pricks too, but you need to settle down...

...or I'll have to call your commanding officer. It's Gallagher, is it?

No. We're good, we're good.

Thank you. I got him. I got him.

Stop. You wanna fuck them up, we need a plan.

We could do more damage if we have a plan. Let's go home and make one.

PROTESTER: Come on! MICKEY: Let's go.

Go.

Did they offer any money up front? Cash today?

No. And they had a Realtor.

And he had business cards and everything.

Doesn't make sense.

Doesn't track.

[WHISTLES]

FRANK: Hey, Sammi. SHEILA: No.

Frank, no. Come on.

- Don't get her involved in this. - Calm down.

- She's got a good head for cons. - Oh, God.

- Yeah, Pop? FRANK: Why would two dykes...

...offer double market value for this dump?

- What's the scam? SAMMI: Not a scam.

An investment.

Tribune named this neighborhood an up-and-comer.

All anybody's talking about down at the Alibi.

Oh, mother of God.

SHEILA: What? - You are not selling.

SAMMI: Hey, who was talking about sell...? Are you gonna sell?

SHEILA: Frank. - They may have female genitalia...

...but those lesbians are the man, moving in on our territory.

- Oh, Frank. - It used to be...

...that poor folks could get a decent apartment right near downtown.

And then suddenly it's moved 40 blocks south.

- And then 80 blocks. Where does it end? SHEILA: Well...

...maybe it ends with you and me in an RV, seeing the country.

This is just like with the Jews.

Ten years from now, they'll claim it never happened, but it is happening.

They wanna move people in who can pay taxes.

So they push us out.

And eventually, we end up in a camp somewhere...

...at the edge of civilization. SHEILA: Oh...

A tent city built on old landfills...

...and toxic waste sites.

And then they start passing out the smallpox blankets.

Oh, Frank. I mean...

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Maybe that's the lesbians with more money. FRANK: Okay.

- Or maybe it's competing lesbians. FRANK: Wait.

- Would you wait? Would you wait a second? SHEILA: No. No. Frank.

- Oh. Hello. WADE: Hello.

I... I'm... My name is Wade Shelton.

I'm looking for Frank Gallagher.

He was the recipient of my son's liver.

- Oh. Oh, come in. Come in. WADE: Thank you.

You can't have it back.

Oh, don't mind him. That medical marijuana makes him a little loopy.

- Hi, I'm Frank's daughter Sammi. - Hello.

SAMMI: Hi. - How can we help you, Mr. Shelton?

I don't wanna bother you...

...but we're having a supper this afternoon for all our son's organ recipients.

A little celebration.

- What a wonderful idea. - Thank you.

Yeah. My way of having one last Father's Day with my boy.

And I'm so sorry for the late notice, I really am...

...but we had trouble tracking you down.

It may seem odd, but you organ recipients...

...you're all that we have left of our son. So would you, both of you...?

- Are you Mrs. Gallagher? - I am. Yes, I am Mrs. Gallagher.

Great. Would you please come at 5?

- What are you serving? - Prime rib. My boy's favorite.

- Creamed horseradish? - Of course. Yeah.

- We will be there, good sir. WADE: Oh, great.

Great. Thank you. Thank you.

Sure. Let me see you out.

- I would love to come, actually. - Both of you. I don't think you're invited.

- Ow, ow! Stop it. - No one's touching you.

Enough.

Your turn to hang with Liam. Don't let him drown.

Hi.

Hi.

- Are you okay? - Heh.

Are you lost?

Hey!

- Hey, I think you lost one. - What?

...Two, three. I got all my kids.

SEAN: Hey, Will. Hey. - Dad.

He's a good dad.

You miss your kid, huh?

Like a burn all over my body.

Order's up.

- Boston cream and java black. - Are we that predictable?

Looked like another hangover day.

You remember the orders of all your favorites?

Just the future rock stars.

Hey, you got no ankle monitor.

- Yeah. Free at last. - So no excuse to miss our show tonight.

GUS: Dude. We eat here. DAVIS: So?

Don't act like a dog.

- Feel free to ignore him. - He's kind of hard to ignore.

- Dude. We eat here. - I can't help myself. I think...

I think she might be my Yoko.

- So can you put me on a list? DAVIS: Yeah. Check it out.

Oh, you can bring your man too.

- That's cool. - He's not my man.

Just my boss.

KEVIN: So you do believe in letting them cry it out?

Believe? No. I think it's child abuse.

But sometimes I think is... How you call it? "Necessary evil." Like waxing pussy.

Yeah. I totally agree with you.

Especially with two. Sometimes it's like, "Fuck!"

Yeah. I cannot imagine having two.

What? You're about to have two.

No. It's surrogate. I rent uterus, like youth hostel.

That's cool. My mom-in-law did that for us.

Except she kept the baby. Which is kind of wrong. Don't do that.

No, I get money. Half to start, half to deliver.

I will deliver.

Hey, this is cool. Hanging out with you, talking about all this baby stuff.

At first... Come here, Ronny.

To be honest with you, I always thought you were just some handjob whore.

Oh, that's okay. I thought you were illiterate bartender pimp.

Ow. Ow, ow, ow.

You know, you need haircut.

Yeah, I know. But V likes it long.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in. Hey, Debs.

Do you know Svetlana?

Of course. She's my brother's lover's baby mama.

Right. What do you want?

There's a rat in the pool. Can you fish it out?

I'm done with the public pool for the rest of the summer.

Sure, no problem. Can you watch Amy and Gemma?

- Swim sounds nice. - Yeah.

Why you done with public pool? Someone shit in it?

- No. - Someone shit on you?

Sort of.

- Can you teach me how it all works? - How what works?

How you make guys want you.

And when they do, what do you actually do?

I mean, I've seen porn, but I'm not sure I understand all the technicalities.

And you're a professional, so I figure you're the best person to ask.

And don't accuse me of being retarded or a child, because I'm neither.

We could see Karen and Jody.

We could see Mount Rushmore.

We could go see where the aliens landed in New Mexico.

Or we could see the Burning Man.

The Burning Man, Frank.

And mostly, Frank...

[WHISPERING] ...we could get away from Sammi.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Please, Frank, please. Please don't fight me on this.

Because she just brings something out in me.

I don't fully understand it.

It's hate.

It's hate.

I hate her.

I hate your daughter, Frank...

...and I am willing to sell this house that I love...

- ...to get away from her. - Sheils, I get it.

- Yeah. - I get it.

Sammi is a tough nut to learn to love...

...and if we're being honest, I have heretofore failed on that front myself.

But I will not participate...

- ...in the destruction of my neighborhood. - No.

No, I will remain here, on the South Side of Chicago, and launch my beer...

...which will be a far greater legacy than any burning man will ever leave.

I wanna see the Burning Man.

I don't get it. Is he alive and burning? Does he burn himself a little bit each day?

I don't know!

I don't know how he burns, or...

I don't know, and I wanna know.

I want to know!

I know.

Hey. What's going on?

I see plenty of pea shooters. Do we have any full automatic weapons?

Grenades?

Okay. All right.

- What? - You have any armor-piercing ammo?

- Why? - Because I fucking need some, that's why.

Yo, you need to get your bitch in line, man.

Okay, here's what we're gonna do. I'll call some guys I know.

Veterans who are sick of this shit too. They'll fight with us.

And then we'll burn down that whole fucking church...

...with all the homophobic trash inside.

He's freaking out.

MICKEY: You think? - Fuck.

- Is he on something? MICKEY: I wish.

What do we do? Call Fiona?

You think Fiona can stop him from going postal on some churchgoers?

- He's sick and she's dealt with it before. - They'll send him to a shrink. No.

We fix this ourselves.

Yo, Private Ryan, I got a plan.

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

That's the day, guys. Thanks.

- Gallagher. You're still upright. - Yeah.

Didn't see that coming.

- Hey, who had him making it the whole day? - Not me.

So the pool's mine?

Fuck that. The pool buys us all a round at the Alibi.

Get some bleach on that phone. He had it in the port-a-john for an hour.

Shut the fuck up, Sullivan. We hit the showers and then we go to the bar, College.

- Unless you're too good to drink with us. - No.

- I'll see you guys there. All right? All right. LIP: All right.

TOMMY: Get the fuck out of here.

SAMMI: Hey, Dad.

I'm ready.

For God's sake, Sammi. Have some pride.

You were not invited to this dinner.

Sheila, it's fucking Father's Day...

- ...and I'm his goddamn daughter. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, Nellie.

Sheila, Sammi, let's make this a whole family event.

I'm sure there's plenty of prime rib to go around.

Why don't you run in and get Chuckie?

Thank you, Daddy.

Thank you. Chuckie!

- She wasn't invited. SAMMI: Come on, baby.

- Wait. SAMMI: We're going out with Grandpa!

- Man. - Run.

- What? - Run. Now.

Lip?

- Hey. - You're soaking wet.

Yeah. Well, wet beats hot.

Is that a come-on?

You look, uh...

- Like a church girl? LIP: Yeah.

Good. That's the point.

- How's Ian doing? MANDY: Not great.

But we have it covered. I think. You know, at least today.

Well, let me know if I can, uh...

Yeah, I will.

Hey, you, uh, got a girlfriend?

Well, I'm around this summer, if you wanna just...

Just don't call, because Kenyatta... You know?

Right.

- Come by my work if you wanna hang. LIP: Okay.

You look really pretty, Mandy.

Hey.

Here we go.

Okay, baby.

Do like we talked about.

I'll give you some privacy.

Excuse me. I really need to talk to the pastor. Is he around?

Hold up your arms.

- Sorry? - Gotta check you for weapons.

Hi.

WOMAN: There are no dues or fees for NA membership.

We are self-supporting through our own contributions.

NA is not allied with any sect, denomination...

[WHISPERING] Thought I might find you here.

[WHISPERING] Two meetings in one day?

Well, I didn't get that much out of this morning's meeting.

Because I was sitting next to this guy I really like.

WOMAN: ...and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.

You wanna go see a band with me tonight?

- That was me asking you on a date. - Yeah.

Because I figure you kind of can't ask me out, you know, because I work for you.

And you know how well it went for me last time I dated my boss.

WOMAN: ...there are ashtrays out front...

I got my ankle monitor off...

...and it feels like progress.

I don't know. I thought, "What the hell?"

So...

I'm asking.

WOMAN: This is a step study meeting. We will read 7 from the 12...

Are you gonna answer?

Can I answer after the meeting?

WOMAN: There's no cross talk at this meeting. Who would like to start reading?

That's a good one, man. Beautiful.

That's a better one, isn't it? Okay, I bet the chicks love that.

You can make it move.

Okay. Interesting story, this was a screw-up.

She got some... You sold my kidney.

Again, I'd like to thank you all for coming.

I really wish that you all could have met David.

He died bravely the way he lived. He was fighting off a home invader.

I really wish that I'd taught him to run instead of fight.

- I know, right? - Wade. Dinner is about ready.

Here she is. Here she is, everyone.

This is my wife and David's mother, Laura. Laura, this is...

...David.

LAURA: Hello, everyone. Thank you...

...for being here. It means a lot to my husband.

Laura, I'm Frank. I'm the liver.

SHEILA: Yeah, and I'm Sheila. I'm Frank's wife.

I'm Harold, the lungs.

Hi, I'm Alice. I'm the corneas.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hello!

- Oh, fuck. SAMMI: Hi, everyone.

I'm Frank's daughter, Sammi, and this is his grandson, Chuckie.

I am so sorry if we're late.

Chuckie had to go number two real bad, so we lost a little time.

My mother's heartbroken.

My father, he started drinking again.

My brother, he won't listen to reason.

Why would he choose faggotry over his family?

Why?

It's a sin that destroys, Mandy.

You have to cut that sinner out of your life.

MAN: I'm just under 30 days clean.

And I still think about using every day.

You know, it's... It's a constant temptation.

Like a yearning.

I feel it in my stomach.

My skin.

It's everywhere in me, and I don't know if it will pass.

MAN: No, no, no. Forget it.

- Bullshit, man! - This is not my idea.

- Fuck that. - This is not my idea.

It's the only way to do it! Somebody's gotta do it.

- There's another way. - Who's doing it?

- Not me. - No.

- I'll do it. - No, you'll go overboard and kill him.

- And you know it. IAN: All right.

- You do it. It's your idea. - That's exactly why I don't have to.

MAN: All right, fuck this. - It's my idea!

Listen, listen. I'll crush his fucking skull. But no. I'm not playing this.

This is too fucked up.

Fuck that! Ian's right. The son of a bitch deserves to die.

[SIGHS]

I'll do it.

I'll do it for my country, for the Army, for all of you.

- I'll do it. - For your country.

- Where is he? Did you drug him? MANDY: Didn't have to.

He's on his way.

Okay. Show me your face now.

- My face? - Your seductions face.

You have no mother.

Uh... Not really.

Okay.

Oh, what's that for?

So I could do for you what my mother did for me.

My son was... No.

My son is the center of my life.

It just... It means so much to us...

...to have you here on this very painful Father's Day, my first in 18 years...

...without my boy, so...

SAMMI: That is such a coincidence.

Because this is my first Father's Day ever with a dad.

- Well, okay. - Great meat, Laura.

- Cheers. - No...

[GASPS]

[STAMMERS] I'm sorry, but excuse me.

You are not supposed to drink when you have a donor liver.

On the contrary, I've done extensive research...

...and this liver will last me close to a decade...

...if I pace myself correctly.

Well, fuck it. Anybody got a smoke?

Oh, God.

Rat's gone. Chlorine's in.

Pool is as good as...

Holy shit.

He is man. You try seductions face.

KEVIN: What the hell are you doing?

Put your tongue back in! What is this shit?

Five minutes ago you were a baby.

SVETLANA: She looks good, yes? KEVIN: Ah... Not answering that.

- This means yes. KEVIN: You know, Fiona's gonna flip.

I'm not a baby anymore, Kev. Deal.

I can't... Would you put that down? Why is there a condom on it?

And what about you, huh?

Your wife no like pain, so she takes breasts away from babies.

You don't like pain, so we take hair away from babies.

Come on. Who wears testicles in family? You or wife?

DEBBIE: Heh. Yeah.

[CONDOM SNAPS]

Hey. Hey.

Hey!

- Hey, you okay? Jesus. - What time is it?

You scared me. Did you take something?

I had a job for illegal immigrants and convicts.

- Oh, shit. - Mm-hm.

You wanna drink the pain away?

I was thinking I might go see this band.

- Sean blew me off, so... - You and Sean, you're a thing?

I thought maybe, but who knows? You wanna go?

I can't. I gotta go to the Alibi.

- Why? - It's a job requirement.

Ow.

Hey, V. It's Fiona.

You wanna cut out of work and go dancing?

[YELLING]

Carl let me in.

Did I overstep?

- Freak you out? - No.

No, I just can't.

I want to, Fiona. But I just can't.

- You can't come see a band with me? - No, I can't anything with you.

- You're, uh... - What?

...dangerous.

You're dangerous.

I know there's a thing like you're not supposed to date...

...newcomers or whatever, but I'm not really a newcomer...

...because I'm not really a drug addict, so...

You won't be damaging me by dating me.

I'd be damaging me.

See, you go to these meetings because the judge ordered you to.

And it's fun, and you learn a little something. But for me, those meetings, uh...

You know, they save my life.

Literally, every day.

Save my life.

Okay. I get it. I get it.

I'll stop flirting in the meetings.

No, it's not just the meetings. You know, it's chaos.

- Just chaos follows you around. - But I'm doing better.

- You took your monitor off yourself. - So?

- So you should have waited for the PO. - You're gonna judge me for that?

No. I'm gonna want you for that.

I find it...

...charming as fuck that you took a screwdriver to your monitor...

...and I find it sexy as hell that you had a bloody lip before lunch.

- Are you making fun of me? - No, it's just you're a chaos junkie, Fiona.

And I'm a junkie-junkie, so I love chaos. And when I get into chaos, bad shit follows.

And women like you...

- Women like me? - Yeah.

Hot, sexy...

...irresistible, fun...

...troublemaking, chaos-causing...

...women like you...

...were my drug of choice long before I got into smack.

It's funny, in fact.

It was a woman just like you shot me up the first time.

I would never do that.

No, I know, but you're a slippery slope for me, Fiona.

I could have beat that guy to death because he didn't tip you.

Now, that's not your fault. That is not on you.

That's on me.

But I...

I have a son.

And I won't risk my relationship with my son...

...no matter how badly I...

...wanna do very, very bad things both to and with you.

I'm not just chaos.

I'm better. I've changed.

I think I could be really good for you.

I hope you keep coming to these meetings, because I think they help everyone.

But I'm asking you...

...I'm really asking you, Fiona...

...just sit somewhere else when you do.

VERONICA: Hey!

Oh, my God! Is that Amy on your tit?!

- Who can tell them apart? VERONICA: Oh.

Hurry up, baby. Kevin!

What's up, babe?

VERONICA: What? What the...?

What happened to your head? What the fuck?

You have no idea how good this feels. We should shave our head every summer.

What? I... Wait. Okay.

First of all...

...why was there a hooker's tit in my baby's mouth?

All right with the "hooker." It's Svetlana.

- We ran out of formula. - You could have called me.

I would have brought you formula or she could have got some.

God didn't make formula, Veronica. God made boobs for a reason.

Hey, what's going...? Oh, shit. Kev.

- Hey, Fiona. Hey, V. FIONA: Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- Debbie? What the fuck? - Did you do this?

Know what? I think it's time for baby's nap.

Okay. Excuse me. Okay, bye-bye.

What happened to your hair? If it was lice, I could have washed it.

No. It was hot, and the kids were pulling on it.

I love that hair.

That was my hair, Kev.

[VERONICA SPUTTERS]

How could you do this?

How could he do this?

KEVIN: V.

It's just hair. It'll grow back.

You fed our baby hooker's milk, and you shaved your head!

Okay. Let's go. Okay? We're just gonna go.

- Let's go dance. Come on, let's go to the bar. - Who the fuck are you?

It's just a fucking haircut.

Keep telling yourself that. Come on. Let's go.

DEBBIE: See you, Kev.

NATHAN: Mandy, you sweet, sweet girl.

That's still a sin of the flesh.

But God wants my mouth on you.

He wants you to feel his love through me.

Now, look away, pastor.

[NEW INFLUENCE'S "THE POWER OF YOUR TRUTH" PLAYING]

I don't want you to see me sinning.

I don't want you to think less of me.

But God granted you such beauty, Mandy.

But if you don't watch...

...then I can pretend I'm praying.

[ON STEREO] Jesus

[NATHAN MOANING]

A life apart from you

Set your spirit

Oh. Yes. Oh.

Now I realize

[MOANS]

- That was really fast. - What...? What is this?!

[LAUGHS]

- That's a good one. - What are you doing?

Tweeting. Facebook too. And done.

So, what are you gonna tell the press, pastor?

That you thought you were getting blown by a teenaged girl?

[GROANS]

- Or by God himself? - Oh, my God.

It's just a haircut. Why is everyone freaking out?

It's not just the haircut! It's you. You look like...

- What? I look like a what? - Whoa. You look like a hooker.

- You think? - That is not a compliment.

From Carl? Totally is.

- Hookers are hot. - See?

Debbie, you're a smart girl.

What are you doing hanging out with whores?

I don't know. You're a smart girl. Why are you on probation for drugs?

Your friends still aren't talking to you?

What friends?

You know, your haircut actually looks pretty cute.

But you have to take that makeup down by at least half.

Fine.

What are you doing right now?

You wanna come see a band with me?

Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

[CASHMERE JUNGLE LORDS' "GOT IT BAD" PLAYING]

- That was a long shower. - Thought you pussied out.

Yeah, well...

...might have been some phone sex with Miami.

What are you guys building on top of the old nursing home?

I don't build. I'm just demo.

I'll tell you what it is. I'll tell you all what it is.

It's a Starbucks.

Or some sort of artisanal juicery or a Whole fucking Foods.

- Just drop it, Frank, all right? - I'm talking about gentrification.

- Genital-what? - The beginning of the end.

I have seen this before, on Fulton Street and 64.

On Kirby Street and 68.

Realtors started buying property at better-than-market value.

And within a few months, the whole neighborhood was overrun...

...with the gentry, and we were forced out.

Today, the urban gentry...

...is moneyed lesbians.

They offer you twice what your home is worth...

...and they do it because they know something you don't.

He like this at home?

You think I'd let him live in my home?

[ALL LAUGHING]

Laugh. Laugh. You won't be laughing in a year...

...when you won't be able to afford to live here.

They move in. They take over.

They kick the homeless out of the park as if they don't have a right to sleep there.

We're dinosaurs, my friend.

And a big fat comet is headed for our sweet slice of earth.

And that comet is a Starbucks.

- He didn't even card me. I must look hot. - You do!

I told you, you don't need those whore shorts.

Come on, let's dance.

[BAND PLAYING "LIVE TO LIVE"]

[SINGING] You know, you better believe me

'Cause if I had you on my arm

It'd make my heart sing And I could lift my head up high

'Cause you'd be my baby

Such a beautiful thing to dream

Hey! Fourteen will you get 20.

You make me wanna freak out 'Cause my heart's on fire

Find your side of explanation

SAMMI: I hope you're here to apologize.

I tried, Sammi.

I've tried to be your friend.

Because you're Frank's daughter and Frank's my husband.

But I realized today I'm your stepmother.

And so to be a good stepmother to you...

...is to be a parent to you rather than a friend.

So as a parent...

...it's my responsibility to tell you...

...that the reason people don't like you...

...and that your father doesn't want to be around you...

...is because you're...

...very, very needy.

I just think you should know that.

And then you can work on it.

You're needy and annoying.

And slutty. And a bad mother.

I think this belongs to Chuckie.

- [SINGING] Yeah, yeah - [SINGING] Yeah, yeah

- Yeah - Yeah

- Yeah, yeah - Yeah, yeah

- Yeah - Yeah

Hey!

- Asshole! - Unh.

- Ah, shit! - Come on, kid, let's go!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, my God.

You wanna dress like that and hang in bars, you gotta run faster!

That was insane! I can't believe you did that!

[DEBBIE LAUGHS]

Holy shit.

How'd he know?

What's going on?

FRANK: Told you!

[CROWING]

[English - US - SDH]