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1
00:00:01,698 --> 00:00:03,097
Hey, whatcha doing?
2
00:00:03,166 --> 00:00:05,099
Improving
our wedding photos.
3
00:00:05,168 --> 00:00:06,434
Oh, that's nice.
4
00:00:06,503 --> 00:00:09,003
Wait, I'm still in them, right?
5
00:00:09,072 --> 00:00:11,172
Of course.
And not only you.
6
00:00:11,241 --> 00:00:13,708
I've added some guests
who couldn't be there.
7
00:00:14,811 --> 00:00:16,778
Who's that next
to my father?
8
00:00:16,847 --> 00:00:18,847
The Wright brothers.
9
00:00:18,915 --> 00:00:20,915
And why are they at our wedding?
10
00:00:20,984 --> 00:00:22,750
Orville, because I admire him;
11
00:00:22,819 --> 00:00:24,786
Wilbur, because he was
Orville's plus-one.
12
00:00:26,189 --> 00:00:27,889
(computer chimes)
Oh.
13
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:29,991
You got an e-mail
from someone named Tam.
14
00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:31,893
Tam? What does he want?
15
00:00:31,962 --> 00:00:33,661
Uh...
16
00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:36,664
looks like he's coming to give
his son a tour of Caltech.
17
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,433
He's hoping you guys
can meet up.
18
00:00:38,502 --> 00:00:40,301
(scoffs)
He would like that, wouldn't he?
19
00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:42,971
Well, that is the gist
of the e-mail.
20
00:00:44,107 --> 00:00:45,107
Who's Tam?
21
00:00:45,141 --> 00:00:46,407
He was my best friend
22
00:00:46,476 --> 00:00:48,176
in the whole world growing up.
23
00:00:48,245 --> 00:00:50,879
Really? Why have I never
heard you mention him before?
24
00:00:50,947 --> 00:00:53,414
Oh, of course I have.
I'm sure I've mentioned him,
25
00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:54,916
like, five times this week.
26
00:00:54,985 --> 00:00:56,484
I don't think you have.
27
00:00:56,553 --> 00:00:59,087
Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam!
There, it's only Thursday.
28
00:01:02,158 --> 00:01:03,428
I didn't just drink the crazy
milk, I bought the crazy cow.
29
00:01:03,429 --> 00:01:06,429
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x04 ♪
The Tam Turbulence
Original Air Date on O
30
00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:09,965
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
31
00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:13,268
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
32
00:01:13,337 --> 00:01:14,903
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
33
00:01:14,972 --> 00:01:17,639
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
34
00:01:17,708 --> 00:01:20,142
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
35
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,844
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
36
00:01:22,913 --> 00:01:24,746
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
37
00:01:24,815 --> 00:01:26,381
♪ Bang! ♪
38
00:01:26,382 --> 00:01:33,382
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
39
00:01:33,734 --> 00:01:36,368
So, are you actually engaged
to this woman you just met?
40
00:01:36,437 --> 00:01:37,437
Yeah.
41
00:01:37,504 --> 00:01:40,172
Tell us the truth.
Did she get you pregnant?
42
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,007
Very funny.
43
00:01:42,076 --> 00:01:43,909
Guys, I need your help, okay?
I'm trying
44
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:45,077
to buy her
engagement ring.
45
00:01:45,145 --> 00:01:46,311
What do you
think of this?
46
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:47,746
Do you think she'll
like this one?
47
00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:50,215
Well, it's hard to say,
not knowing much about her.
48
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:51,850
Does she have fingers?
49
00:01:52,853 --> 00:01:54,086
Yes, she has ten fingers
50
00:01:54,154 --> 00:01:56,021
and ten toes.
Probably.
51
00:01:56,090 --> 00:01:58,790
I'll get back to you
after I see her in sandals.
52
00:01:58,859 --> 00:02:01,293
Hey, did you guys know
that Sheldon had
53
00:02:01,362 --> 00:02:03,929
a best friend growing up
named Tam?
54
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,832
Was that the imaginary
talking koala?
55
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:10,635
No. He's a real person
who apparently betrayed him.
56
00:02:10,704 --> 00:02:12,838
Yeah, so did the koala.
57
00:02:12,906 --> 00:02:14,773
I tried to ask him
about it,
58
00:02:14,842 --> 00:02:16,775
and he invoked section three,
article five
59
00:02:16,844 --> 00:02:20,012
of the marriage contract:
beeswax comma none of your.
60
00:02:21,181 --> 00:02:22,781
I can't pry.
I mean,
61
00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:24,216
I have to respect his wishes.
62
00:02:24,284 --> 00:02:26,785
Wow. I wonder
what that guy could've done
63
00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:29,755
to make Sheldon
not talk to him for 20 years.
64
00:02:29,823 --> 00:02:31,823
I wonder if it'd work
a second time.
65
00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:36,395
(video game sound effects)
(knocking)
66
00:02:36,463 --> 00:02:39,097
I'm pumping!
67
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:40,499
It's Penny.
68
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:41,833
Oh. Come in.
69
00:02:41,902 --> 00:02:44,136
I thought you were pumping.
70
00:02:44,204 --> 00:02:46,471
I thought you were my boss.
71
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:49,149
Okay, listen, I'm really worried
about this whole Raj thing.
72
00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:51,943
I know, he's so desperate
to get married, which is weird,
73
00:02:52,012 --> 00:02:53,287
because I can't imagine
we make it look that great.
74
00:02:53,311 --> 00:02:55,073
I know, right? You know,
75
00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:56,715
if this woman's
gonna be around, I think
76
00:02:56,784 --> 00:02:57,927
we should check her out
a little.
77
00:02:57,951 --> 00:02:59,763
I looked online.
She doesn't have an Instagram,
78
00:02:59,787 --> 00:03:02,387
which means she's either 80
or something's wrong with her.
79
00:03:02,456 --> 00:03:04,589
Well, I could ask my dad.
80
00:03:04,658 --> 00:03:06,858
Maybe he can get some
of his old cop buddies
81
00:03:06,927 --> 00:03:08,560
to do a background
check on her.
82
00:03:08,629 --> 00:03:10,262
- Would he do that?
- Of course.
83
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:13,031
He's a retired cop
who plays by his own rules.
84
00:03:14,868 --> 00:03:15,734
Hi, Daddy.
85
00:03:15,803 --> 00:03:16,735
No, everything's good.
86
00:03:16,804 --> 00:03:18,070
I just have a favor to ask.
87
00:03:18,138 --> 00:03:19,371
Yeah, so, my friend Raj
88
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,950
is marrying this woman
that he barely knows,
89
00:03:20,974 --> 00:03:23,075
and I wanted to see if you
could use your connections
90
00:03:23,143 --> 00:03:24,443
to dig up any dirt on her.
91
00:03:24,511 --> 00:03:25,911
Uh-huh.
92
00:03:25,979 --> 00:03:27,379
Sure.
93
00:03:27,448 --> 00:03:29,915
Okay. Love you.
94
00:03:29,983 --> 00:03:30,566
Is he in?
95
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:32,671
Absolutely not. He won't do it.
It's totally illegal.
96
00:03:34,192 --> 00:03:36,755
I thought you said
he played by his own rules.
97
00:03:36,824 --> 00:03:38,568
He does, but apparently,
they're very similar
98
00:03:38,592 --> 00:03:40,158
to the actual rules.
99
00:03:42,529 --> 00:03:44,529
I still can't believe
Sheldon had a best friend
100
00:03:44,598 --> 00:03:45,764
we've never
heard about.
101
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:49,101
Ooh, somebody's jealous.
102
00:03:49,169 --> 00:03:51,369
- I'm not jealous.
- Leonard,
103
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:54,139
this is a safe space--
it's okay to be vulnerable.
104
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:55,640
All I'm saying is
105
00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:58,076
you know the timing
of a fellow's bowel movements,
106
00:03:58,145 --> 00:04:01,079
you don't think there's
a lot left to discover.
107
00:04:02,483 --> 00:04:04,182
I wonder what Tam
could have done.
108
00:04:04,251 --> 00:04:06,291
Hmm. Well, if Sheldon doesn't
want to talk about it,
109
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,786
it's got to be
pretty upsetting.
110
00:04:07,855 --> 00:04:10,555
I have his brother George's
number-- he might know.
111
00:04:10,624 --> 00:04:12,124
Really?
You have George's number?
112
00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:14,459
So so jealous.
113
00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:18,697
Yeah, sure, I remember Tam,
114
00:04:18,765 --> 00:04:21,800
Sheldon's little Vietnam buddy.
115
00:04:21,869 --> 00:04:24,302
The two of them were
always running around together.
116
00:04:24,371 --> 00:04:25,604
So, what happened?
117
00:04:25,672 --> 00:04:26,672
What do you mean?
118
00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:28,540
Well, I mean, Sheldon
never talks about him.
119
00:04:28,609 --> 00:04:30,775
They haven't spoken in years.
He wasn't at the wedding.
120
00:04:30,844 --> 00:04:32,043
He wasn't?
121
00:04:32,112 --> 00:04:33,745
All right, well,
this is embarrassing,
122
00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,413
'cause I had a long conversation
123
00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:38,049
with someone
who I thought was Tam.
124
00:04:38,118 --> 00:04:41,419
Wait, wait, so you don't know
what their fight was about?
125
00:04:41,488 --> 00:04:42,954
I wish I could help you, boys.
126
00:04:43,023 --> 00:04:45,090
But, you know,
Sheldon used to keep
127
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,359
an enemies list
when he was a kid.
128
00:04:47,427 --> 00:04:48,360
Oh, he still does.
129
00:04:48,428 --> 00:04:49,428
Really? I figured
130
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,595
that went the same way
131
00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:51,997
as his bathroom schedule.
132
00:04:52,065 --> 00:04:55,400
If you mean digitized, annotated
and put online, it did.
133
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,636
Maybe that'll tell you
something.
134
00:04:57,704 --> 00:05:00,639
Hey, while you're looking at it,
if I'm still on there
135
00:05:00,707 --> 00:05:02,340
for peeing
in his shampoo bottle...
136
00:05:02,409 --> 00:05:04,276
Eh, you know what,
just leave it.
137
00:05:04,344 --> 00:05:06,678
- (laughs) See ya, boys.
- Bye.
138
00:05:06,747 --> 00:05:08,680
- Bye.
- All right, got his enemies list.
139
00:05:08,749 --> 00:05:10,282
Ooh, he updated
the interface.
140
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:11,950
You can search
by first name,
141
00:05:12,019 --> 00:05:14,853
last name or length of grudge.
142
00:05:14,922 --> 00:05:16,454
Is Tam on it?
143
00:05:16,523 --> 00:05:17,989
Let's see.
144
00:05:18,058 --> 00:05:19,858
Yep. Right here.
Tam Nguyen.
145
00:05:19,927 --> 00:05:21,626
- Oh, great. What did he do?
- Hold on.
146
00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:24,062
I have to agree
to the terms of service.
147
00:05:25,465 --> 00:05:27,432
No, I'm not a robot.
148
00:05:28,468 --> 00:05:29,734
Okay.
149
00:05:29,803 --> 00:05:31,803
"Which of these are plants?"
150
00:05:31,872 --> 00:05:33,205
And we're in.
151
00:05:33,273 --> 00:05:35,207
Great. What-what
does it say?
152
00:05:35,275 --> 00:05:36,374
Well...
153
00:05:36,443 --> 00:05:38,109
"He knows what he did."
154
00:05:38,178 --> 00:05:39,878
(chuckles):
Oh, come on.
155
00:05:39,947 --> 00:05:42,380
Wait. Wait, wait,
wait, if Tam knows
156
00:05:42,449 --> 00:05:44,349
what he did, we
can just ask him.
157
00:05:44,418 --> 00:05:46,751
He's gonna be on campus tomorrow
showing his son around.
158
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:48,053
Won't that make Sheldon mad?
159
00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:49,688
Everything makes
Sheldon mad.
160
00:05:49,756 --> 00:05:51,690
- Yeah.
- Look at his list.
161
00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:53,425
Jim Henson for, quote,
162
00:05:53,493 --> 00:05:56,328
"putting a terrifying,
giant yellow bird on television
163
00:05:56,396 --> 00:05:59,264
and in my nightmares."
164
00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:05,971
- Oh, this is so nice.
- Mm-hmm.
165
00:06:06,039 --> 00:06:08,440
Maybe instead of introducing
ourselves to Anu,
166
00:06:08,508 --> 00:06:10,375
we could just get a room,
167
00:06:10,444 --> 00:06:12,510
order some food and take a nap.
168
00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:14,579
Yeah, I've fallen
for that line before.
169
00:06:14,648 --> 00:06:16,615
It never leads
to napping.
170
00:06:16,683 --> 00:06:18,917
That must be her.
171
00:06:18,986 --> 00:06:21,319
Oh. She's cute.
172
00:06:21,388 --> 00:06:23,488
Okay, I got you two seats
to Hamilton tonight.
173
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,690
Your tickets will be
at the concierge desk.
174
00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:27,359
Of course.
My pleasure.
175
00:06:27,427 --> 00:06:28,893
May I help you?
176
00:06:28,962 --> 00:06:30,640
Yes, I'm here to pick up
our Hamilton tickets.
177
00:06:30,664 --> 00:06:32,764
Stop.
178
00:06:33,967 --> 00:06:34,967
Hi. We're Raj's friends.
179
00:06:35,002 --> 00:06:36,368
I'm Penny.
This is Bernadette.
180
00:06:36,436 --> 00:06:38,470
We just came by to
introduce ourselves.
181
00:06:38,538 --> 00:06:40,071
So you came to check me out?
182
00:06:40,173 --> 00:06:43,108
She's smart.
I like her.
183
00:06:43,176 --> 00:06:44,387
We just want to see
if we could take you
184
00:06:44,411 --> 00:06:45,688
to dinner
and get to know you a bit.
185
00:06:45,712 --> 00:06:48,013
That sounds nice.
How about tonight after work?
186
00:06:48,081 --> 00:06:49,714
Maybe we can go to Bavel.
187
00:06:49,783 --> 00:06:52,183
Oh, I wish. That place is
impossible to get into.
188
00:06:52,252 --> 00:06:54,185
Oh, please.
Getting into impossible places
189
00:06:54,254 --> 00:06:55,987
is my superpower.
190
00:06:56,056 --> 00:06:57,222
BERNADETTE:
Me, too.
191
00:06:57,291 --> 00:07:00,825
I can fit my whole body
in our dryer.
192
00:07:00,894 --> 00:07:02,661
All set. 8:30.
193
00:07:02,729 --> 00:07:04,729
Wow. Okay, well,
we'll see you tonight.
194
00:07:04,798 --> 00:07:05,798
- See you then.
- Okay.
195
00:07:05,866 --> 00:07:07,065
Bye.
196
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:09,234
She can get
into any restaurant,
197
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:12,937
but the best husband
she can find is Raj?
198
00:07:16,043 --> 00:07:17,709
Not Tam.
199
00:07:18,812 --> 00:07:20,178
Not Tam.
200
00:07:21,281 --> 00:07:22,981
Not Tam.
201
00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:25,150
Got him.
202
00:07:25,218 --> 00:07:27,485
- Tam Nguyen?
- Yeah. Yes.
203
00:07:27,554 --> 00:07:29,754
Is my son done
with his tour?
204
00:07:29,823 --> 00:07:33,591
No idea. We're actually
friends of Sheldon Cooper.
205
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:35,460
Oh, I've been trying
to get in touch with him,
206
00:07:35,495 --> 00:07:36,995
but I never heard back.
Is he okay?
207
00:07:37,064 --> 00:07:39,030
Well, if you mean
physically, yes.
208
00:07:39,099 --> 00:07:41,866
If you mean
every other way, no.
209
00:07:41,935 --> 00:07:43,401
- So, is he here?
LEONARD: Uh, no.
210
00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:44,703
He-he didn't come.
211
00:07:44,771 --> 00:07:45,837
He's, uh...
212
00:07:45,906 --> 00:07:48,840
he's still pretty
upset about...
213
00:07:48,909 --> 00:07:50,508
you know.
214
00:07:50,577 --> 00:07:52,010
I know what?
215
00:07:52,079 --> 00:07:53,611
Come on,
216
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,146
you-you must know.
217
00:07:55,215 --> 00:07:57,782
No, we haven't talked in,
like, 20 years.
218
00:07:57,851 --> 00:08:00,018
Right. Because...
219
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,853
you know.
220
00:08:02,889 --> 00:08:05,557
I don't think
he knows.
221
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:06,905
What are you guys talking about?
222
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,394
Why did you and Sheldon
stop being friends?
223
00:08:09,463 --> 00:08:11,162
- What did you do?
- And don't worry,
224
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:12,530
even though we
just met you,
225
00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:15,266
we think you're right
and he's wrong.
226
00:08:15,335 --> 00:08:17,001
I didn't do anything.
227
00:08:17,070 --> 00:08:19,637
He moved to California,
and we just drifted apart.
228
00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:22,040
Oh, come on, there's
got to be something...
229
00:08:22,109 --> 00:08:24,042
- Oh, hey, Sheldon.
230
00:08:24,111 --> 00:08:26,611
- We just met...
- Sheldon! So good to see you!
231
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,413
Tam.
232
00:08:29,516 --> 00:08:31,349
It's been a long time.
233
00:08:31,418 --> 00:08:33,918
Mm, not long enough
to erase the sting of betrayal.
234
00:08:33,987 --> 00:08:35,320
How did I betray you?
235
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:37,222
You know what you did.
236
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:39,190
Uh, let me
catch you up.
237
00:08:39,259 --> 00:08:40,759
He does not.
238
00:08:42,095 --> 00:08:44,562
When I moved to California,
what did you do?
239
00:08:44,631 --> 00:08:45,930
I stayed in Texas.
240
00:08:45,999 --> 00:08:47,632
Do you believe this guy?!
241
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:54,406
So, he was your best friend
growing up?
242
00:08:54,474 --> 00:08:55,407
Yes.
243
00:08:55,475 --> 00:08:57,575
Were there no other kids
in Texas?
244
00:09:03,298 --> 00:09:05,832
Hey. What is
going on with you?
245
00:09:06,824 --> 00:09:07,956
I don't want to talk about it.
246
00:09:07,957 --> 00:09:11,026
Well, I'm sure you have
a perfectly stupid reason.
247
00:09:11,629 --> 00:09:14,463
I don't do anything
for a stupid reason.
248
00:09:14,531 --> 00:09:16,431
Except, perhaps,
Talk Like a Pirate Day,
249
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,381
and I'd argue that's
more whimsical than stupid.
250
00:09:18,556 --> 00:09:21,624
You know, I was curious to find
out what Tam had done wrong.
251
00:09:21,693 --> 00:09:23,893
Why am I not surprised
the answer is nothing?
252
00:09:23,962 --> 00:09:25,995
So you're taking his side.
253
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:27,764
You scurvy dog.
254
00:09:29,401 --> 00:09:31,345
You watch yourself.
There is room on my enemies list
255
00:09:31,369 --> 00:09:32,947
now that the cafeteria ladies
finally told me
256
00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:34,304
what's in the chili.
257
00:09:35,407 --> 00:09:37,373
By the way, don't eat the chili.
258
00:09:37,442 --> 00:09:38,641
Wai-Wai-Wait, you know what?
259
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,910
Do.
260
00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:42,679
Be careful, Sheldon.
261
00:09:42,747 --> 00:09:45,026
I don't think you can afford
to lose a second best friend.
262
00:09:45,050 --> 00:09:47,350
I don't see anyone lining up
to be your third.
263
00:09:47,419 --> 00:09:49,652
D... Wait.
264
00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:52,455
"Snarky comebacks..."
265
00:09:52,524 --> 00:09:54,257
Oh, here we go.
266
00:09:54,326 --> 00:09:56,492
"You have your entire life
to be a jerk,
267
00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:59,128
why not take today off?"
268
00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:06,669
That was harsh,
but he was asking for it.
269
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:09,439
This place is amazing.
270
00:10:09,507 --> 00:10:10,973
I can't believe
you got us in here.
271
00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:12,475
Well, it's kind of my job.
272
00:10:12,544 --> 00:10:15,411
Usually I get tipped for it,
but I'll leave that up to you.
273
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,413
(giggles)
274
00:10:17,482 --> 00:10:19,015
Look, I think that's
LeBron over there.
275
00:10:19,084 --> 00:10:20,016
James?
276
00:10:20,085 --> 00:10:21,617
No, LeBron Kershenbaum.
277
00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:24,787
So, what do you want to know?
278
00:10:24,856 --> 00:10:27,924
Well, you seem like a
smart, successful woman,
279
00:10:27,992 --> 00:10:30,293
why would you want to marry
someone you just met?
280
00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:31,994
Fair question.
281
00:10:32,063 --> 00:10:34,330
In my 20s, I tried this
the normal way.
282
00:10:34,399 --> 00:10:36,065
You know, met a guy,
fell in love,
283
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:37,700
we moved in together.
284
00:10:37,769 --> 00:10:40,403
I put him through culinary
school, screenwriting classes,
285
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:43,740
and finally dumped him when he
wanted to become a midwife.
286
00:10:43,808 --> 00:10:45,508
Then I realized,
287
00:10:45,577 --> 00:10:48,411
my parents are happy;
they had an arranged marriage.
288
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,213
Why am I fighting this?
289
00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:52,415
I dunno, I married for love
290
00:10:52,484 --> 00:10:56,419
and it turned out... fine.
291
00:10:58,356 --> 00:11:01,324
Oh, yeah, me, too.
292
00:11:03,895 --> 00:11:05,361
AMY:
Hi.
293
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:08,030
Howard, today
is your lucky day.
294
00:11:08,099 --> 00:11:09,932
Leonard's out, you're my new
best friend.
295
00:11:11,302 --> 00:11:12,546
Well, I'm not
thrilled about it either,
296
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:13,936
but here we are.
297
00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:15,471
Okay, fine.
298
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:16,773
Is Bernadette there?
299
00:11:16,841 --> 00:11:17,974
Sh... No.
300
00:11:18,042 --> 00:11:19,442
Just Stuart?
301
00:11:19,511 --> 00:11:21,611
Let me call you back.
302
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:22,845
Let me guess.
303
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:24,514
This thing with Tam escalated,
304
00:11:24,582 --> 00:11:25,748
and now you're mad at Leonard
305
00:11:25,817 --> 00:11:27,350
and looking for
a new best friend?
306
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:29,152
You know me so well.
307
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:31,421
It's too bad you can't be
my best friend.
308
00:11:31,489 --> 00:11:33,055
I can be.
309
00:11:33,124 --> 00:11:35,324
You can't be my wife
and my best friend.
310
00:11:35,393 --> 00:11:37,427
Who would I complain
about you to?
311
00:11:37,495 --> 00:11:39,862
Just tell me what happened.
312
00:11:39,931 --> 00:11:43,399
Leonard talked to Tam behind
my back and took his side.
313
00:11:43,468 --> 00:11:45,802
And after what he did to me.
Can you believe it?
314
00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:48,971
No. I'm-I'm shocked
and outraged.
315
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,641
Now, tell me why
I'm shocked and outraged.
316
00:11:51,709 --> 00:11:54,377
Fine.
317
00:11:54,446 --> 00:11:57,113
When I got accepted
to grad school at Caltech,
318
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:59,449
I was afraid to move
so far away from home.
319
00:11:59,517 --> 00:12:01,651
So Tam said
he'd move out here with me
320
00:12:01,719 --> 00:12:03,419
and be my roommate.
Then,
321
00:12:03,488 --> 00:12:05,288
over the summer,
he got a girlfriend,
322
00:12:05,356 --> 00:12:06,889
even after reading
all the pamphlets
323
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:09,959
I gave him
about social diseases.
324
00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:13,095
Aw, I remember when you
gave me those pamphlets.
325
00:12:13,164 --> 00:12:15,598
Anyway, Tam stayed
with her in Texas,
326
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:18,334
and I had to move out here
all by myself.
327
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:20,970
That must've been scary.
328
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:22,738
It was.
329
00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:24,474
I was lonely, and I thought
330
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,175
I'd never make a friend again.
331
00:12:26,244 --> 00:12:28,845
And for a long time, I didn't.
332
00:12:28,913 --> 00:12:29,913
But then you did.
333
00:12:29,981 --> 00:12:31,781
And great friends.
334
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:35,051
If you think about it, if Tam
had moved out here with you,
335
00:12:35,119 --> 00:12:37,520
who knows what your life
would've been like.
336
00:12:44,062 --> 00:12:45,628
Yes.
337
00:12:45,697 --> 00:12:47,174
Uh, I'm Leonard Hofstadter.
I called you
338
00:12:47,198 --> 00:12:48,438
about the apartment.
You said...
339
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,600
Tell him to go away.
You already have a roommate.
340
00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:54,605
New neighbor?
341
00:12:55,507 --> 00:12:56,507
Oh, hi.
342
00:12:56,574 --> 00:12:57,607
- Hi.
- Hi.
343
00:12:57,675 --> 00:13:00,109
- Hi.
- Hi.
344
00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:11,287
PENNY:
Tam, look.
345
00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:13,956
Sheldon's hugging me.
346
00:13:14,025 --> 00:13:16,626
It's a Saturnalia miracle.
347
00:13:18,129 --> 00:13:19,862
Sheldon, come here.
348
00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:21,764
Bazinga.
349
00:13:23,268 --> 00:13:26,135
No, my life
would've still been great.
350
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,641
So what is the craziest
request anyone's ever made?
351
00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:34,343
Oh, you know,
I can't really say.
352
00:13:34,412 --> 00:13:36,379
Concierge-guest confidentiality.
353
00:13:36,447 --> 00:13:37,747
Really, that's a thing?
354
00:13:37,815 --> 00:13:39,515
(laughs)
No.
355
00:13:39,584 --> 00:13:43,152
This one time, I had to go
to Walmart at 3:00 a.m.
356
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,988
because Britney Spears
needed to blow bubbles.
357
00:13:46,057 --> 00:13:49,058
- Oh.
- That is so cool.
358
00:13:49,127 --> 00:13:51,394
By the way, do not tell Raj
that you met Britney Spears,
359
00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:52,895
because he will literally die.
360
00:13:54,699 --> 00:13:57,166
We've been talking so much
about me,
361
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,368
tell me about Raj.
362
00:13:59,437 --> 00:14:00,614
Okay, are you trying
to get us drunk
363
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:02,171
so we'll dish on
our friend?
364
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,607
'Cause it's totally gonna work,
what do you want to know?
365
00:14:06,077 --> 00:14:07,276
What kind of guy is he?
366
00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:08,678
He is great.
367
00:14:08,746 --> 00:14:09,845
- So great.
- Mm-hmm.
368
00:14:09,914 --> 00:14:11,547
How come he's still single?
369
00:14:13,318 --> 00:14:15,785
- He's great.
- So great. Yeah.
370
00:14:15,853 --> 00:14:17,019
Come on.
371
00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:18,288
There's really nothing
to tell.
372
00:14:18,323 --> 00:14:19,723
Raj is so much fun
to hang out with.
373
00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:21,157
He's like one
of our girlfriends.
374
00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:22,758
And I mean that in a good way.
375
00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,794
But also a bad way.
376
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,329
Anything else?
377
00:14:27,465 --> 00:14:29,632
- No.
- No.
378
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:31,867
I mean, h-he
takes baths with his dog,
379
00:14:31,936 --> 00:14:34,236
but not in a weird way.
380
00:14:34,305 --> 00:14:36,939
Or a normal way;
they both wear swimsuits.
381
00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:41,410
He also cries every time
Hugh Jackman sings.
382
00:14:41,479 --> 00:14:44,880
But not cute sniffles--
full-on snot sobs.
383
00:14:46,184 --> 00:14:47,516
But he is great.
384
00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:49,118
- So great.
- Yeah.
385
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:53,322
(knocking)
386
00:14:53,391 --> 00:14:54,391
Hello, Sheldon.
387
00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:56,292
Hello Tam.
Thank you for coming.
388
00:14:56,361 --> 00:14:59,895
I just want you to know
that, um...
389
00:14:59,964 --> 00:15:02,064
I forgive you.
390
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:03,133
I didn't do anything.
391
00:15:03,201 --> 00:15:04,300
And yet, here I am,
392
00:15:04,369 --> 00:15:06,769
still being the bigger man.
393
00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:09,171
Look, I was in love with Beth,
394
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,573
and she made me happy.
395
00:15:10,642 --> 00:15:11,907
Y... Really?
396
00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:13,643
Did she let you play
with her train set?
397
00:15:15,446 --> 00:15:17,647
In a manner of speaking.
398
00:15:20,084 --> 00:15:22,985
Sheldon, I needed
to stay in Texas.
399
00:15:23,054 --> 00:15:24,587
And you needed
to come here.
400
00:15:24,656 --> 00:15:26,555
I knew you were gonna
do amazing things,
401
00:15:26,624 --> 00:15:29,025
and meet amazing people
who were gonna respect you,
402
00:15:29,093 --> 00:15:31,293
because you're brilliant.
And because they never had to
403
00:15:31,362 --> 00:15:33,996
fish you out of a dumpster.
404
00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:35,242
Well, they have,
but it was during
405
00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:37,800
my short-lived parkour phase.
406
00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:40,770
I didn't mean to upset you.
407
00:15:40,838 --> 00:15:42,405
And I want you to know
I'm really proud
408
00:15:42,473 --> 00:15:44,073
of everything you've done.
409
00:15:44,142 --> 00:15:45,875
Thank you.
410
00:15:45,943 --> 00:15:48,210
It did work out for me.
411
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:51,947
And I'm sorry that things
didn't work out for you.
412
00:15:52,016 --> 00:15:53,716
They did work out for me.
413
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:57,019
Oh, Tam, you don't need
to be brave on my account.
414
00:15:57,088 --> 00:15:58,354
I'm not.
415
00:15:58,423 --> 00:16:01,123
I have a great wife
and amazing children.
416
00:16:01,192 --> 00:16:02,391
I'm very happy.
417
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:04,293
Brave, brave Tam.
418
00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:09,999
Sounds like Penny and
Bernadette had fun last night.
419
00:16:10,068 --> 00:16:11,167
I know.
420
00:16:11,235 --> 00:16:12,668
Bernie came home pretty drunk.
421
00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:15,037
She tried to sleep in the dryer.
422
00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:20,810
Hello, you all remember Tam,
my best friend from high school.
423
00:16:20,878 --> 00:16:22,256
- Yeah. - Of course.
- How's it going?
424
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,747
Sheldon's been showing
me and my son around.
425
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:26,322
Now we know where all
the clean bathrooms are.
426
00:16:26,346 --> 00:16:28,218
Yep.
427
00:16:28,219 --> 00:16:29,459
You just remember the mnemonic:
428
00:16:29,487 --> 00:16:31,087
if it's number one,
the library's fun,
429
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:33,155
if it's number two,
the basement's for you.
430
00:16:34,826 --> 00:16:35,925
I'm glad you guys made up.
431
00:16:35,993 --> 00:16:38,327
Well, I realized my life
turned out great,
432
00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:40,162
and it's silly
to hold a grudge.
433
00:16:40,231 --> 00:16:42,298
And I had no idea we were
fighting, so it was easy.
434
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:44,834
Uh, don't worry, Leonard,
435
00:16:44,902 --> 00:16:47,169
you're still
my California best friend.
436
00:16:49,173 --> 00:16:50,673
Cool.
437
00:16:50,742 --> 00:16:53,075
So, what do you want to do now?
438
00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:55,811
Go to the train store,
go to the comic book store?
439
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,958
Actually, I have to grab my
son and head to the airport.
440
00:16:57,982 --> 00:16:59,582
I was just about
to call a cab.
441
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:01,684
Don't be silly,
you don't have to call a cab.
442
00:17:01,753 --> 00:17:03,018
You're my oldest friend.
443
00:17:03,087 --> 00:17:06,021
Leonard will take you.
Right, Leonard?
444
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:08,524
Sure.
445
00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:09,725
Shall we?
446
00:17:09,794 --> 00:17:10,794
Eh, eh, eh, hold on.
447
00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:12,328
I haven't seen
Tam in 20 years,
448
00:17:12,396 --> 00:17:13,640
give me a chance
to say good-bye.
449
00:17:13,664 --> 00:17:15,498
Bye.
450
00:17:22,381 --> 00:17:24,214
Check it out--
LeBron James posted a picture
451
00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:25,482
of me and him
on Instagram.
452
00:17:25,551 --> 00:17:26,783
I don't see you.
453
00:17:26,852 --> 00:17:28,051
Look right behind him.
454
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:29,319
No.
455
00:17:29,388 --> 00:17:31,855
Okay. You see that table
just past his left shoulder?
456
00:17:31,924 --> 00:17:34,992
Now go back two more tables
and over to the right.
457
00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:37,494
All I see is
a yellow smudge.
458
00:17:37,563 --> 00:17:39,529
That's me!
459
00:17:39,598 --> 00:17:41,498
(phone rings)
460
00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:42,833
Oh, it's Raj.
461
00:17:42,902 --> 00:17:44,968
Hey Raj,
I'm here with Penny.
462
00:17:45,037 --> 00:17:47,938
KOOTHRAPPALI: What the hell did you two
say to Anu?
463
00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:49,306
Uh...
464
00:17:49,375 --> 00:17:51,608
whatever do you mean?
465
00:17:51,677 --> 00:17:53,977
Why, why would you tell her
466
00:17:54,046 --> 00:17:56,113
I wear ladies' deodorant?
467
00:17:56,181 --> 00:18:00,050
Uh, because you're a boy
and it's really funny.
468
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,386
Oh, oh, okay. Pardon me
469
00:18:02,454 --> 00:18:05,122
for having the confidence
to smell daisy-fresh.
470
00:18:06,358 --> 00:18:08,725
Just do me a favor
and stay away from her.
471
00:18:10,429 --> 00:18:13,096
Ugh, God, now I feel bad.
472
00:18:13,165 --> 00:18:14,364
I know.
473
00:18:14,433 --> 00:18:15,799
Maybe we should
take her out again
474
00:18:15,868 --> 00:18:17,067
and do some damage control.
475
00:18:17,136 --> 00:18:19,102
You know, that's a good idea.
476
00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:21,171
Think she can
get us into SoHo House?
477
00:18:22,841 --> 00:18:24,709
I don't know, but we
owe it to Raj to try.
478
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:25,733
Mm-hmm.
479
00:18:27,027 --> 00:18:34,027
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
34226
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