All language subtitles for Love.Gilda.2018.WEBRip.x264-ION10

man: Rolling on take two.

man 1: Wow, there she is.
It's Gilda.

Oh, man,
have you ever seen her dance?

- man 2: Yeah.
- men: She's bad.[chuckling]

man 1: Man, when they passed out rhythm, that Jewess got it all.

woman: Hey, Gilda, why you come here all the time?

Gilda: 'Cause I just love
this disco.

♪ This disco ♪

David Letterman: She was
the very first performer

chosen for the cast
ofSaturday Night Live.

woman: Radner became a star
by creating

such memorable characters
as Roseanne Roseannadanna...

A Mr. Richard Fanner...

woman: ...and Emily Litella.

What's all this fuss
I keep hearing...

TV anchor: Soon to be the star
of her own one woman show

on Broadway.

These days she's making movies.

There it is!

host: Here she is, live,
Miss Gilda Radner.

- Gilda Radner!
- Gilda Radner!

Gilda Radner!

[crowd cheering]

♪ Yes, darling,
I am disco Gilda ♪

♪ When the music changes
I don't miss no dancing ♪

♪ I am the baby born between
the thighs of disco madness ♪

♪ I can dance for hours
if I want ♪

♪ Soul, beat ♪

Gilda: It's the story
of my life, you know.

People say, "Okay,
you're a star now.

Gilda Radner, what's it like
to be a star?"

♪ Disco, disco, disco, disco ♪

♪ Disco Gilda ♪

♪ Disco, disco, disco, disco ♪

♪ Disco Gilda ♪

[crowd cheering]

[applause]

Gilda: This is side one.

If I should talk like this,
can they understand?

When I think back on my life...

I always felt that my comedy

was just to make things
be all right.

I love the naivety,

that the soul can believe
what it wants to believe.

I could be prettier than I was.

I could be people
that I really wasn't.

I would use comedy to be
in control of my situation.

[music playing]

I can't believe
this is her handwriting.

Are these actually her papers?
Like, what she...

There's check marks.
Oh, it's like we're detectives.

This is a real honor.

Like, seriously, this is huge.

"Gilda smoking. Gilda Radner."

Melissa:
"Shopping in supermarkets.

Staring. Restaurants."

Bill: "Elevators. Mail.
Aerobics."

"Number 12, toilet,
really liked your work."

[chuckles]

Amy: Okay,
I'm gonna give it a try.

This is, um...

Gilda Radner,
her voice and her writing.

"First and foremost,
above everything else,

my main priority
is that I am a girl.

I've never wanted
to be anything else.

I'm fascinated with boys
but I never wanted to be one."

I agree, Gilda.

"To be a girl and be funny
means you have to sacrifice

a lot of things
because of your loud mouth."

Bill: Being neurotic's
the only subject

I didn't have to research."
[chuckles]

Yes.

"I can't even begin to imagine
how I got famous.

It seemed like I just took
the next job

and then it turned out
that millions of people

were watching me do it."

Bill: "Maybe you know me
and maybe you don't,

or maybe you heard of me
but never saw me,

or maybe you used to know me,
but don't know me anymore.

But one time in my life
I was famous

and it seemed like
everyone knew me."

[crowd cheering]

[applause]

Thank you.

Thank you.

This was really always my dream.

When I was a...

when I was a little girl
growing up in Detroit,

my dad used to take me

to see shows
when they'd come in to town.

And we'd sit in
about the third row

and I'd look up on the stage
and the people up there

just always looked so happy
to be there.

And I thought to myself that
that's what I wanted to do.

And that's where I wanted to be.

And I remember when
they'd come right down
near the foot of the stage

and they'd look out,
I always was sure
they were looking right at me.

Right at little Gilda Radner.

And now that I'm finally
up here, I can't see a thing.

[crowd laughs]

[applause]

Gilda: Nobody says,
"Oh, I had a great childhood,
everything was perfect."

Nobody says that.

It's the choices you make
in dealing with it.

If I ever have my own comedy
act this is how I'd open it.

'Cause people wanna know,
well, what made you funny?

And I know what made me funny.

[crowd cheering]

[music playing]

From the time I was a kid,
I loved to pretend.

And to play and be in plays,
and put on costumes.

I was really a child of comedy.

In the tradition of Chaplin
and tons of fun.

Oh, they were great!

And Lucille Ball.

Anybody who's willing
to risk it.

I would be glued
to the television,

then I'd go act out things
like it in the backyard.

I'm a child who came in
an older marriage.

My dad was in his 50s
when I was born.

I think I was just such a joy, such a miracle

that he would have children
later in his life.

The world revolved around us

and he was the best audience
in the world.

After a hard day's work, he'd sit for hours in his chair

and I could do pantomimes
and routines, and anything,

and he'd watch, and he'd laugh.

Humor was a wonderful,
unifying thing in our family.

Michael: We were fortunate,
we came from...

a family
that was relatively affluent.

Our father was in the hotel,
apartment business.

And we were in Detroit
at the time

when Detroit was one of the
great cities in the country.

So things were booming.

[music playing]

Gilda: My mother couldn't take
the winters,

so every November, my family
would go to Miami Beach,

and live for maybe four months.

And then come back to Detroit.

My parents
would take me out of school

and take me to a new school
in Florida.

I couldn't get attached
anywhere.

I overate constantly.

We had a pantry in the kitchen
with tons of food,

she used to call that her room.

She'd sit there on a little
step stool and just munch.

Gilda: My weight
distressed my mother.

And she took me to a doctor

who put me on Dexedrine
diet pills

when I was ten years old.

Judy: Her mother was
trying everything
to control her weight,

'cause her mother
was very beautiful

and I think it was hard for her that Gilda was not as thin

as she would've liked.

[music playing]

Gilda: When I was
four months old, Dibby came.

She stayed with us
for 18 years.

Michael: My father was at work.

My mother was busy doing
whatever she was doing.

But Dibby was the constant.

She was a kind,
wonderful person,

and you know, we thought of her as our second mother.

Gilda: Dibby and I
became inseparable.

When I would come home crying
because someone called me fat
at school

she would tell me,

"If they call you fat,
just make a joke about it
and laugh."

I made them laugh
before they hurt me.

Before any kid could go,
"Hey, you fat thing."

I would say, "Hey, I'm fat, I can't see my toes, you know."

And then I realized
what comedy is.

It's hitting on the truth

before the other guy
thinks of it.

When I was 12 years old,

my father went
into the hospital

for some routine tests.

He had been having
terrible headaches

for a couple of years.

Michael:
And they checked him out

and it turned out
that it was a brain tumor.

He got sicker and sicker
and he went into a coma.

And it was like
he was 40 years older.

Gilda: It was too great
and sudden a loss
of a person whom I adored.

I was 14 when my father died.

I was only a child.

That's like a pivotal age...

when you're going
from being a child into a woman,

so I just never went
into being a woman. [chuckles]

I started going to
an all-girls private school
on the east side of Detroit.

There was more emphasis
put on being funny

and being involved
in activities

like the
theater department

than there was on dating.
So I was encouraged that way.

And the more comfortable I got, the funnier I got.

In Ann Arbor, I suddenly found that you could major

in putting on makeup
and costumes,

that you could get degrees
in it.

And so I went
into the theater department.

I was in a comedy-satire group
called The Eastbound Mound.

And we all just took life to see what was funny about it.

Ann Arbor, the summer of '66.

Little Johnny.

Oh, there's me!

Billy! Must have been
a short-term boyfriend.

Bob! Oh, that was
another boyfriend, Bob.

Oh, there's Harold.

That was another boyfriend.

Another boyfriend, Jim.

- Michael: This one?
- Judy: It's a guy!

It's a naked guy in the shower
but I have no idea who it is.

- Yeah, more...
- Who do you think it is?

- I don't-- I don't know.
- Whose bum is that?

John: Gilda had
quite a few boyfriends.

[music playing]

Gilda: My biggest motivation
has always been love.

I would see a guy that I would fall in love with,

and then I would just wanna
be with him
and go wherever he went.

I never graduated from the University of Michigan

because I fell in love
with a Canadian sculptor,

and wanted to be his wife
and a homemaker.

Judy: She was cooking
and keeping their apartment.

He loved having her do that,
you know,

like he was being taken care of that way.

Gilda: Jeff couldn't handle
if I was ever funny.

And it was very frustrating.

There was just a part of me
that wasn't being used.

And I actually reached a point where I felt like I was dying.

One day I went to the theater, and I sat there and I thought,

"Oh, I just felt so good."

You know, that feeling,
I felt like I belonged.

Even in the audience.

And so I ended up asking

if I could work
in their box office.

Marcus: They came in
and she goes and peeks

through the hole,
a little cubbyhole

that I handed the tickets,
and she says,
"You're kinda cute."

Gilda: Eventually they asked me
to be in these pantomimes for kids in the school system.

And then they asked me
to be in a children's
theater production.

Michael: They made a whole industry up for Gilda.

[cheering]

Gilda: Godspell, it was
very successful in New York,

and they posted open auditions

in Toronto
for the Toronto Company.

And I went cold from the street and auditioned.

Paul: Everybody
from that age group,

early 20s I guess,
was auditioning for it.

And I went as a pianist
who would accompany...

Martin: I remember Gilda got up

and she was dressed
in sideway pigtails,

and she sang
"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah".

And I remember thinking,

"Oh, that's the saddest thing
I've ever seen."

Stephen: She was very quick to tell us

that she was not a singer,
which was accurate.

So we were doubtful at first.

Then suddenly, Stephen Schwartz
and John-Michael Tebelak,

and all the creators said,
"You're hired!"

I mean, they just--
they loved her.

And I thought,
"Hmm, I gotta rethink.

You know, I'm singing
"My Funny Valentine",
I could be off here."

♪ Well at the outset there
Appeared before the master♪

♪ A man that ran
Into the millions ♪

- ♪ What? ♪
- ♪ In the millions ♪

Gilda: We all started out
together, didn't know
what would happen,

we just spent a year
jumping up and down.

[piano playing]

♪ I can see a swath
Of sinners sitting yonder ♪

♪ And they're acting
Like a pack of fools ♪

♪ Gazing into space
They let their minds wander ♪

♪ 'Stead of studying
The good lord's rules ♪

♪ You better pay attention
To your comprehension ♪

♪ There's gonna be a quiz
At your ascension ♪

♪ Not to mention
Any threat of ♪

♪ You better start
To learn your lessons well! ♪

David: Yeah!

[crowd cheering]

[applause]

[David chuckles]

Thank you. I did it!

First professional job
I'd ever had,

I don't...
I can't speak for Paul.

- Was that the first...?
- Same for me, yeah.

Gilda: Okay. Our first job...
[chuckles]

And that company of people
actually--

- There were some
really amazing people in there.
- Yeah.

Martin: We called ours
the Friday nights.

The Friday night services.

And this was a group of people who gathered religiously

at the rented home that Marty
and Eugene were sharing.

The famous 1063 Avenue Road.

Martin:
That became the party house.

Two-thirty in the morning,

of all of us doing tapes
and laughing,

Paul would play,
I'd stand there

I'd stand there
with a spoon, like a mic.

Martin: Testing,
one, two, three.

woman: Make a premise.

Bob: You have no premise,
you just start...

woman: Just start doing it.

Martin: And our first contestant
is Miss Mary Quaint.

- [woman laughing]
- Gilda: Hello, Bob.

Martin: Why do you feel
that you are deserving

of the title Queen for a Day?

Gilda: Because my husband,
who was completely ruined...

[all chuckling]

...in an automotive accident.

Martin: He's completely ruined.
Is he dead?

Gilda: No, he's home
in three beds.

[all laughing]

Paul: They were some form
of power couple,

but there was comedy power.

They had figured out,
both of them,

at such an early age...

that to laugh
is the ultimate panacea,

to the degree that you can control anything.

Martin: I was young enough
to think

that if you were
as clever as Gilda was,

and therefore,
blessed as Gilda was,

then what would ever make you
unhappy about anything?

You have family money,
everyone adores you,

every guy falls in love
with you,

and every girl wants you to be
her best friend.

She would walk into the room...

and all the energy
would go to her.

And I think
that was her comfort zone.

But she would have depressions

and she would have
emotional uncertainties.

And at 22 to her 26,

I wasn't sophisticated enough to
understand that that was valid.

Especially with creative people.

And we would breakup,
get back together,

Breakup, get back together.

And then in July, we broke up.

Again.

That's when she went
to Second City.

Paul: When the Second City
organization

came to Toronto
in those early 70s,

they had raided ourGodspell cast for their nightclub shows.

[crowd chuckling]

They would do sketches...

and then the current set
would be just the improv set.

Gilda: It's about the most
stressful thing
you could ever imagine.

We're just frantic
behind stage. You kinda said,

"Will you work with me?"
"Will you work with me?"

The guys would wanna
work together,

and the girls said,
"Okay, let's try to do
this idea this way."

Then the guys would realize
they needed someone

to serve the coffee
in the scene.

Like, I never had the guts
to go out by myself.

I used to have to drink
a beer and eat a bag of
potato chips first.

When it came to improvisation,
she sometimes, you know,

maybe wasn't as strong as, say,
a Dan Aykroyd or Joe Flaherty.

But she always found a way

to endear herself
to the audience.

Gilda: I consider myself
a circus performer.

Working without a net,
I'm on the tight rope.

And if I'm bombing, you're gonna see it in my face.

And if they're not laughing,

you do something, get louder,
you know, do anything.

You're working
for the audience.

[applause]

And one day I got a phone call and it was John Belushi.

[grunts]

He said, "You know,
this is John Belushi.

Do you wanna be the girl
in the show?"

And I say it in those words
because that's what he needed,

a girl to be in the show.

- Who's gonna be the girl?
- man: This on?

man 2: You be the girl.
Okay.

[chuckles]

Gilda: Humor comes out
of tension

and there is no better center
for tension than New York.

I think it certainly keeps
the comic mind active.

I find the more leisurely
and pleasant my life is,

the less funny I am.

And now, The National Lampoon
Radio Hour,
Singles Bar of the Air.

Our male listeners today
will now be approached
by Ellen Madderson.

A dynamite chick who comes
to The National Lampoon
Radio Hour

Singles Bar of the Air
every week.

Always hoping to find
that perfect mate.

Will that perfect mate be you?

Listen to Ellen now,
as she says hello to you.

Hiya, fella. I like to ride
my bike, take long walks,

frolic on meadows
and run hand in hand
across moonlit beaches

with my hair blowing behind me.

Janis: These guys loved her.

She didn't argue it. She wasn't
a... a feminist saying,

"I insist", 'cause that
wasn't her personality.

And they loved
when she would pitch stuff
'cause it always funny.

But the guys weren't saying,
"Hey, let's think of a way
to put Gilda in the sketch."

That was never part of it.

Gilda: I found that in the writing session...

I couldn't always
get my ideas in.

I'd have an idea but
I wouldn't say it fast enough

and then one of the guys
would say it.

So I said,
"Why don't I do the typing

while you guys think
of the ideas?"

So I put myself in this
little control position.

I could get my idea
in there faster,

'cause I was kinda running
how fast everything would go.

Gilda: Okay, guys, you ready?
One, two, three, four.

[music playing]

♪ I'm a woman, I'm a human
I'm a sister ♪

♪ I'm a sinner, I'm a person
I am me ♪

Belushi was a teacher to me,
a mentor.

And mostly,
he just made me laugh
like you couldn't imagine it.

[music playing]

Everything he did, his comedy, everything was suicidal.

The way he ate,
the way he drank,
the way he walked.

The way he... he moved.

He was kamikaze comedy.

Because all of us came
to New York to do the show,

and he and his wife Judy,

they looked out for us
like the mama and papa.

You know,
they kinda took care of us.

Janis: The Lampoon Show seemed like a natural extension

because they were having
so much fun

doing theRadio Hour.

Some people think
we get all our guns

and ammunition free
from the Red Chinese.

But that's not true.

They cost money. A lot of money.

And I can't get anymore
from my dad, that's for sure.

Anyway, I've given up a life
of comfort and wealth,

surely you can send something.
A dime, a dollar.

A pair of socks,

some 50 caliber tracer bullets
or whatever you can to...

the Symbionese Liberation Army
that's the SLA in LA.

Four-eighteen Fishman building,
Los Angeles, California.

[jazz music playing]

Gilda: I had learned
how to be more forceful
and get my ideas out.

And the guys really did
support me.

And I feel I was used
really well in the show.

Paul: By this time, she was just
this underground sensation,

and everybody knew about her,
including Lorne Michaels.

Lorne: She was incredibly
comfortable on stage.

I knew that she could do
almost anything,

and also that she was
enormously likable.

So I started with her.

- Take nine.
- For what?

Oh. [chuckles]

Gilda: I was a real novice
in television
starting this job.

man: Gilda Radnay!

Ner.

Ner... Gilda Radner.

Paul: A lot of people were
from the theater,

Lorne had hired them anyway,

you know, and it was
her first television thing.

Couple of minutes here with
the gang from Saturday Night

which premiers here
on NBC at 11:30
on the 11th of October.

Lorne Michaels is the producer.
How does it work?

Well, we've got eight,

and we're hoping
for two to really work.

- [woman chuckles]
- So not all of these people

will become stars...
Essentially, yes.

Gilda: It was a strange time because we were all very quiet.

We didn't know who should speak

'cause there were
so many of us on, you know.

So, we were all polite and
waited for someone to speak.

host: NBC'sSaturday Night!

Gilda: In the first show,
I think I was on
a total of a minute.

- Mister Bee.
- Yes?

Congratulations, it's a worker!

We weren't so hot
the first couple
of shows, you know.

People were reading books
in the audience.

But we were allowed to do
eight more,

and somewhere
about the fifth or sixth show
something snapped.

No, New Shimmer
is a dessert topping!

- It's a floor wax!
- It's a dessert topping!

It's a floor wax,
I'm telling you!

It's a dessert topping, you cow!

Hey, hey, hey!
Calm down, you two.

New Shimmer is a floor wax
and a dessert topping.

[crowd laughs]

Gilda: Monday night we'd come in
and have a writer's meeting.

And every idea was discussed.

Then Tuesday night,
everyone stayed up all night

'cause there was a read through on Wednesday.

Rosie: Gilda threw
her whole self into it.

It was not at all strange
to call Gilda and pick her brain
about something.

And then her to come in
in her pajamas and a coat,

and just come and sit
and write with us.

Gilda: And we never
sit around here and say,

"Gee, I wonder what the kids
are laughing at today."

We make each other laugh.
We put it on the show.

Jane: I can't-- I can't.

- [laughing] Anymore. I can't.
- man: One more. One more.

- But it strikes me funny, now.
- Gilda: Think of your dog
dying.

- Think of your dog dying.
- Jane: My dog did die.

- Gilda: All right.
- Think of your dog dying.

[both laughing]

...on Sunday when you leave
him at my house.

[laughing]

- Okay.
- Gilda: Oh, God.

Amy: To be a woman on that show
was extremely different

than it was when I was there.

There was so much in the world

that had yet to be carved out
for women,

in not just comedy.

I love being a fireman...

Gilda: As those years went on
and the women's movement
changed so many things,

that made me able
to reflect that in my comedy.

Now, here are a few choice
facial expressions, you know,

for when you're not on
a construction site.

[crowd laughs]

Rosie: When Lily was there,
Ann and I wrote a sketch
called "The Hard Hats".

And Belushi didn't wanna touch
it, and Danny didn't want...

they really didn't...
It was a switch.

Strut your stuff
in front of Gilda.

Rosie: Finally, Lorne twisted
Danny's arm to do it.
[chuckles]

- Boom ba-ba! Boom ba-ba!
- [crowd laughs]

[applause]

Gilda: I suppose being
in the thick of it,

I don't even realize
what strides we were making.

But that's 'cause women were.

[sighs] That was terrific.

How was it for you?

Okay.

Was it just okay or was it...

really okay, you know.

Well, it was really just okay.

[crowd laughs]

Lorne: She and Chevy
were the first two people

that the audience
connected with.

Because they were essentially
playing a version of themselves.

[applause]

And now a new feature
on Saturday Night.

"What Gilda Ate." Gilda.

Thanks, Rob. Okay.

I started the day
with one piece of dry toast

and two egg whites scrambled
in a no-stick Teflon pan.

Lorne: In the early days
of the show,

I would put her out there
when there was no time
for a sketch.

It was like four minutes
and I had two and a half,

I could just put up a slide
that said "What Gilda Ate"

and she could talk about it,
and be interesting about it.

...but I didn't order dessert,
but on the way back
to the office

I had a Fig Newton
and an almond dry candy bar.

And then, when I got back
to the office I told everyone
I was going to the bathroom,

but I really went
to a coffee shop

and had apple pie à la mode,
and I ate the whole thing.

And then on the way after work,
um, I went to a drugstore

and bought
an M&M peanut munch bar...

Thank you very much, Gilda.
That's enough. Thank you.

- I'm not finished yet.
- I know,

but we have to go on
with the show, I'm sorry.

- I'll just go get a snack.
- [crowd laughs]

Hi, I'm Gilda Radner.

And-- Okay, now. [chuckles]

[applause]

[crowd cheering]

I found that my comfort

in live television
was laughter.

That I can do almost anything
if people are laughing.

That's what hugs me
and holds me
and gets things out of me.

Live from New York,
it's Saturday Night!

[crowd cheering, applause]

Rosie: She loved to be loved.

And she saw
that being on the air

was like adrenaline,

and she developed characters
quick.

man: You really like that soup,
don't you?

Uh-huh.

More than anything
in the whole wide world!

Gilda: A lot of my characters

had a lot to do with
growing up.

I am so bored!

Because...

my...

room is the boring room
of the world!

[crowd laughs]

Judy Miller was
the child in me,

no doubt about it,
and it was a great freedom.

You cannot tell me! Oh, no!
That's the graduation. No!

In a sense, it might be some defiance about growing up,

or fear of it, not wanting
to emulate grownups.

[yelling]

woman: Judy, what's going on
up there?

[crowd laughs]

Nothing.

host: Where did Emily Litella
come from?

Oh, right from a...

a lady who lives in
Stoney Creek, Ontario.

Can I say hello? Oh, I will.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lorne.
[chuckles]

Hello to Dibby.

She's Mrs. Gillies who
raised me

and she's Emily Litella.

She has all those difficulties Emily does.

What's all this fuss
I keep hearing

about the 1976
Presidential erection?

[crowd laughs]

Emily is very hard of hearing.

And, um, she's always
getting things wrong.

Sorry, that's election.

The editorial was
about the Presidential election,

not Presidential erection.

- Election.
- Oh.

- That's very different.
- Yes.

- Never mind.
- [crowd laughs]

Chevy:
The crowd just adored her.

I mean, how many people play
an old lady,

you know, on a show,
when they can be thought of as

young, and sexy and vibrant,
you know.

No, Gilda went for it.

And I promise, from now on
I will do my best.

See that you do.

Bitch.

[crowd laughs]

Gilda: I was the first one to ever say bitch on television and the censors let me do it,

'cause they said, "Well,
it was a nice, sweet,
old lady saying it."

[music playing]

I only named those people
for television.

And I put outfits on them
for television.

But they've always been
inside me.

After I'm done
being interviewed all day, I go right into Emily Litella.

I can hardly walk,
I can't lie down.
Everything's stiff.

Or if I have a cold,
or whenever I'm sick,
I'm Lisa Loopner.

She's the one that I
most often will slip into

because she doesn't care
what she looks like.

Yeah, I basically stole

pretty much, almost all
of my characters from Gilda.

Myself and another writer
Emily Spivey,
would sit in our office

and just look
at old Gilda sketches

and talk about how amazing
she was. And then,

just do very weak 2.0 versions
of what she did. [chuckles]

Melissa: I think Gilda used every single part of her being.

Depending on what
she was playing,

her posture changed,
her neck changed. Like, she--

There was a lot of like,
head and neck thing
she would do.

And sometimes I wonder
if it's why I'm so physical,

because I grew up really just watching her so intensely.

Bill: Everything she did,
you could tell she was having
a lot of fun.

And I just... I just went, God,
if I can get to that place,

'cause when I started SNL,
I was a nervous wreck
for four years.

I was like, "How do I
just relax to where
I can get to that?"

Gilda: There's always a moment
before I go on.

"I'm gonna get out there,
I'm gonna fall apart.

I'm gonna fall over and I won't be able to do it."

And then,
right before I have to go on,

- I can't wait to go on.
- [applause]

♪ La cucaracha, La cucaracha
La la la la la♪

It's like every Saturday
I've done an opening night

of an under-rehearsed
off Broadway show.

You're not too bright,
are you, Fern?

I mean...

[chuckles]
whatever your name was.

[crowd laughs]

- Lisa.
- [chuckles]

As a matter of fact,
you're extremely stupid.

Well, you're right, Fern,
you know? And I'm proud of it.

[crowd laughs]

You know, we all can't be brainy
like Fern here.

[crowd laughs]

Tragedy struck the world
of show business this week

when TV personality
Howdy Doody committed suicide

on Thursday
in his Beverly Hills home.

Few people knew that Doody
had a wife.

- Debbie Doody.
- [crowd laughs]

I see she's approaching me
right now. Howdy, Debbie?

- [chuckling]
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

Gilda: No laughs at all.
It was quiet in the studio.

...what's in the future
for Debbie Doody?

I don't know.

I didn't know what to do
and I knew the camera
was on both of us,

so I just flung myself
on Laraine.

Moment of grief.

Thank you. Thank you.

Back to you, Jane.

[music playing]

Gilda: The harder I tried
to do something well,

the funnier it was.

[crowd laughs]

[applause]

We were trying to be
the best we could

but because it was
the two of us

without all the skills
and the training,

it came out funny.

Lorne: She was an athlete,

and she was really gifted,
physically.

[crowd laughs]

[man groans]

Candy, baby.

Amy: When she played
Candy Slice,

basing her character
on Patti Smith,

she just committed really hard.

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ I'm your biggest
Fucked up fan ♪

♪ The rock man
And roll man ♪

♪ Till I'm sick! ♪

[burps]

[applause]

Gilda: There's a real strong
familial affection...

in this group of people.

I mean, we yell at each other
and scream at each other,

we make each other cry.
Make each other laugh.

We see each other
outside of work.

Laraine: We were
the unholy three, I suppose.

But also we were the good girls.

The boys were late,
the girls were on time.

Chevy: Oh my God,
it was so much fun.

We were all family.

Mostly due to John hating me.

He's like a little brother
hating his big brother.

Gilda: Part of Lorne's
overall plan

was to keep us innocent.

And keep us the underdogs
of television.

We were working so hard
all the time

that we were very insulated
from the success.

Yee-hoo! Live from Mardi Gras,
it's Saturday Night.

[crowd cheering]

[music playing]

narrator: NBCSaturday Night.

Anne: We were mobbed
in New Orleans.

It became such a thing,
they had to reroute the parade

because they were
so many people in front
of where the TV cameras

were gonna be that they
couldn't get through.

Gilda: Hi! Oh, hello.

Hello!

[crowd cheering]

Anne: And Gilda particularly
was vulnerable.

I remember some drunken college student like, jumped on her.

And she had to wear a mask

in order to
get through the crowds.

So...

you know, at that point,

they realized
that they were, like, famous.

[indistinct chatter]

Gilda: We all were miraculously
made into celebrities.

All of a sudden, I came back
from summer vacation
and people knew who I was.

The ratings that had been
Carson repeats,
turned in from what,

two million into five million
Americans now watch

- on a... on a Saturday night.
- Thirty, 30 million.

- Thirty million?
- [chuckles]

Janis: Gilda knew more people.

She had more friends.

But she was hungry
for a relationship.

Gilda came down to New York,
dating Brian Doyle-Murray.

And then she started dating
Billy Murray.

Oh! This is really beautiful,
Todd.

It's a wrist corsage.

Anne: Todd and Lisa
uncannily mirrored

the Bill, Gilda relationship,

which was
slightly sadomasochistic.

- [screams]
- [laughs]

Noogie patrol!

Rosie: We would try to leave it
a little loose,

so that there was room
for them to play.

[crowd laughs]

Anne: One of the things
that was a factor,
that was difficult,

was that he had
a longtime girlfriend
on and off,

and she would
show up periodically

and Gilda would
fall into a depression.

Gilda used to say
it was really hard for her
to see Ghostbusters

because every single guy
in the movie

had been her boyfriend
at one time or another.

Harold, Bill Murray,
Dan Aykroyd,

but not Rick Moranis.

- Oh.
- No. No.

Laraine: I remember
she was involved with a very good-looking actor.

She called him a "Clit Snipper".

And I went, "What the hell?"
And she's like,

"You know,
there's like a ball buster,

he was a clit snipper."
I was like, "Oh, God. Man!"

Janis: I think that Gilda
didn't have an opportunity

to meet the shy guys
in the corner.

She never was around them.

And she was very needy.

And I don't know that
that was something
that guys want.

Or that at least the guys
that she went after wanted.

Gilda: I can't tell
if guys are looking at me

'cause I'm a girl
and maybe just attractive,

or they're just looking at me
'cause they recognize me
from the show,

and I'll maybe
never know again.

Cecily: "Being funny got me
famous, and being famous

is almost as bad for dating
as being funny.

First of all, I had to work
every Saturday night,

and most guys figure
you're too busy for dating,

or already dating someone,
or so glamorous
you don't even have a phone."

Melissa: One little note card
just says,

"You look different
in real life."

It's always a strange thing
to hear, you're like,
I look like me.

You look different.
You look so much better.

Or like, has anyone
ever told you, you look
like a pretty Amy Poehler?

"I'm going to tell you
the most embarrassing thing

that's ever happened to me
because I think people
like to know

that celebrities
get embarrassed
just like everyone else.

I was leaving dinner
in a small restaurant

with a gentleman
that I had a huge crush on.

It happened to be
the first day of..."
[mumbles]

Oh! [chuckles] It's a period!
Period story!

Maya: "After I had
a physical examination

the lab sent me the results
of my blood tests
and urine sample,

attached to the reports
was a note, saying..."

Mellisa: "Dear Gilda, I'm a big fan, I wanted to take this opportunity to say

that it was an honor
analyzing your urine.

Sincerely, Thomas Owen."

Tom.

I'm sure
that's not ethically okay.

And I love that she clearly
found it hilarious,
because she saved it.

Gilda: Success and celebrity-dom doesn't quite go with comedy...

'cause there's something
about being an underdog

and a voyeur
that makes comedy possible.

And so, how do you keep on
looking at what's going on

if suddenly everyone's looking at you, and make that funny?

Next, seven. Come right here.
Okay. It'll be a dollar.

Dollar, thank you very much.
One dollar, great.

[music playing]

Welcome to my house.

You have just come
through my door

and you are now standing
in my living room.

I have lived in this apartment
for two years.

You will be here
approximately five minutes.

Come on, come on, this way.
This way. That's right.
Let's go, let's go. Move it.

I wanted to invite you
to look up here,

where I have the actual
Gilda Radner,

buy anything you want section
of my home.

And here, a terrific,

reproduction of a poster
of Roseanne Roseannadanna.

And that's a steal
at 15 dollars.

I think when I first
went on television,

I didn't have Roseanne in me.

She came out of living
and coping with New York.

We were doing a parody
that Rosie Shuster wrote.

And my character
was supposed to work
in a hamburger joint.

I was fired from my job
making burgers

in the back kitchen
at Burgerland

because a lot of costumers
complained about hair
in their burgers.

[crowd laughs]

There was a wig in the back,
so I put that wig on

and everybody said,
"That wig's too big,
the chroma key is making it

go..."
You know, it wasn't good.

And everyone's yelling at me. I said, "Yeah, but it's funny. Let me wear this."

There's a lot worse things
that could be in burgers.

[crowd laughs]

So then I went into
Alan Zweibel,

who's like
in charge of update.

Alan: We would go to restaurants with pads and pens

and you know,
think of something

and just start writing.

She would call the first draft
"The vomit draft",

you just vomit it out and then
you start picking out the corn.

Gilda: Why not have somebody
come on the news, you know,

a woman come on
and just be like gross,

which is very close to my
sense of humor.

Gross pig humor.

Alan: She would just act it out
in front of me

and then would actually ad-lib or improv things,

that were better
than anything I thought of.

[crowd cheering]

A Mr. Richard Fanner
from Farlane, New Jersey,
writes in and says,

"Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna,
last Thursday, I quit smoking.

Now, I'm depressed,
I gained weight,

my face broke out,
I'm nauseous, I'm constipated,

my feet swelled,
my gums are bleeding,

my sinuses are clogged,
I got heartburn,
I'm cranky and I have gas."

[crowd laughs]

"What should I do?"

Mr. Fanner, you sound
like a real attractive guy.

[crowd laughs]

You belong in New Jersey.

[crowd laughs]

Alan: Roseanne Roseannadanna
was probably

the most popular thing
that came from our brains.

- Gilda Radner.
- [crowd cheering]

[applause]

Thank you.

Like, my dressing room at NBC,
I share this with...

with Laraine Newman
and Jane Curtin.

[music playing]

Laraine: We got
our own secretaries
to deal with the fan mail.

And you know, some people
had management,
and they were working for them,

they have something
outside of the show.

Rosie: Everybody knew
that this funny Camelot

was gonna disband in some way.

People were getting
pretty burned out.

woman: John and Dan were off
doingThe Blues Brothers.

I think that more demands
were made on Gilda,

and so I think she was

under more stress
as a result of that.

man: Do you have
your own aspirations
as where you wanna go,

what directions
you wanna move in?

Gilda: That's something
I'm having trouble with
right now.

To be...

completely honest,
I don't know.

There's days
when I'm very dissatisfied.

And I think, what's next?
And what should I do?

You know, if all of us
started thinking
about the future

and got ambitious,
and all that stuff, then the show would fall apart.

And they keep us
so running ragged here

that there's not much time
to think about.

Welcome to Woman to Woman.

Hello, Paula baby.

This is Baba Wawa speaking
to you live--

[screaming]

man: Colleen Fernville!

[sobbing]

Hi, Susie. I'm sorry I left.

We've been drugged.

Paul: That was stressful
for Gilda.

Certainly remember
once her saying,
"I'm just one person."

[applause]

You want another vodka and tab?

No. I don't... I don't think so.
I think that 12 is my limit.

Yeah, well, I think my limit's
about a thousand.

Gilda: There was a time
in my life
onSaturday Night Live

when nothing in our personal
lives was sacred.

I read
in the National Enquirer...

that the Food
and Drug administration

was considering banning
saccharin from the market.

I nearly died.

[crowd laughs]

If you could find a joke,
so what if your whole world
was falling apart?

[applause]

Judy: I think that the pressure
for her to be so thin

to be on television
was enormous.

She had to be able to eat

because that was a way
that she got love,

or, you know, where she needed to fill that emotional void.

And in order to be thin,
she'd have to, you know,
find some way to handle it.

Janis: She'd be hysterically
funny

talking about standing in front of the refrigerator
and shoveling food

and how much she ate.

I don't even think we knew
the words eating disorder,

or bulimia, or anorexia.

Judy: Although we were worried
about her,

I didn't feel like I could
broach the subject.

Janis: She never said, "Help me", to anybody I knew.

And I suspect somebody
walked her into the hospital.

man: I need Laraine
and John please.
Laraine and John.

Lorne:
Gilda had boundless energy

and she was always
looking for something
that would hold her interest.

So she found a way to...
to take what she was
already doing

that was funny and...
and take it to another level.

woman: Ladies and gentlemen,
the call is now five minutes.

Five minutes, please.
Five minutes.

Places, please. Act one.
Places, please.
Places for Act one.

[applause, crowd cheering]

Gilda: It was the dream
of my life to be on Broadway.

[music playing]

To actually tap dance and sing.

[crowd laughs]

Alan: It was a one woman show,

and it was not only her
performance but her material.

♪ I love to be unhappy ♪

♪ I live to be in pain ♪

♪ When days
Are full of sunshine ♪

♪ I'm looking for the rain ♪

Gilda: I love
that my Broadway show
is a series of memories.

I remember
when I was in high school

at the...
at the end of the year

they always had the prom.

But what I learned was
it was never the party
that was the good part.

It was always after the party.

[music playing]

♪ Honey, touch me
With my clothes on ♪

♪ Sweetie, baby
Longer than you do ♪

♪ Honey, kiss me
With your mouth closed ♪

♪ Just like you love me
And I love you ♪

[applause, crowd cheering]

Gilda: I'm proud that I did
that show.

But what I learned was,

that wasn't
what I wanted to do.

I didn't wanna be Gilda Radner,

a solo performer personality.

I saw what could happen,
that you could end up

being just Gilda Radner.

And when you weren't
being Gilda Radner,

you had to stay in your room.

And I was lonesome,
you know who for?

For myself.

Here's Gilda!

- [applause]
- man: Yeah!

[music playing]

Alan: Gilda was gonna
be appearing
in Yolo Live in Chicago,

the night that we were
getting married in the temple.

So we rented out
Sammy's Romanian restaurant,
Downtown, in New York,

the Sunday night before,

and had all
theSNL people there.

[music playing]

[crowd cheering]

SNL was an extension
of adolescence.

And so when Robin and I said,
well, okay, we're gonna
get married,

Gilda screamed.

She just shrieked,

"Oh, God, we... we might have to
be grownups pretty soon."

♪ I got no one beside me ♪

♪ To love and to guide me ♪

♪ And who's gonna do
My hair after the walk ♪

♪ Now that you're gone♪

♪ Hey, what's happening
With this thing ♪

[crowd laughs]

Alan: And shortly after,
she got engaged to G.E.

[rock music playing]

Gilda: I married G.E. Smith,

the lead guitarist in the band forGilda Live.

Laraine: I think that was
her version of
a walk on the wild side

because they were so different.

Janis: I don't know
that anybody knew
that had been dating,

but I know
everybody was surprised.

Tom Snyder: Since the last time we were together on television,

- you've become
a married person.
- Gilda: That's right.

How is it different

from what you thought
it was gonna be, being married?

Any surprises?

That... that it's better.

Right. And wonderful,
a wonderful state.

That's all. [chuckles]

- Okay.
- Good night...

and goodbye.

[applause, crowd cheering]

Gilda: My contract was up with
NBC forSaturday Night live.

I was not going to go back.

I didn't wanna just keep taking one job after another.

And I think
that frightened me enough

to turn down
some very wonderful jobs,

and look at myself more.

[music playing]

I wanted to know more
what my life was, I suppose.

Sometimes I look through
the Want ads

and fantasize about having jobs with beginnings and ends.

And I think about being
the checkout girl
at the grocery store,

or be a shoe salesman
and be pretty funny,

and entertain
everyone who came in.

And I could go home
and be happy

as opposed to doing it
for 40 million people.

But I got this script

and the adventure
appealed to me.

Stuff like driving a truck
through the desert

while people are shooting
at you, you know.

When am I gonna get to do that?

[helicopter whirring]

[gunshots]

I thought, "That sounds
like the kinda movies

I used to watch
when I was a kid."

But the part itself
was not really funny.

Here was a girl
with no wigs,

was an attractive,
well-dressed,

young woman
in her 30s.

And I thought that could
either be a character
for me to portray,

or I might just have to
face the fact that,

that's what I am.

[piano playing]

There's lots of things
about me you don't know.

Jordan: When Gene met Gilda,
he had just gone through

kinda magic period
in his career.

- [crowd cheering]
- Gene: Thank you.

There wasWilly Wonka, and there wasBlazing Saddles.

[gunshots]

And then a movie that he wrote with Mel Brooks,

and starred in,
Young Frankenstein,
came out six months later.

Life, do you hear me?

Give my creation...

life!

Jordan: And so at that moment,

Gene became a very big
movie star.

[jazz piano playing]

Gene was not a comedian,

he did not make people laugh
for a living.

He was an actor that had been
in a lot of funny films.

She was in many ways
just as famous,

certainly in America.

Gilda: I had been a fan
of Gene Wilder's
for many years.

But the first time I saw him
in person, I was hooked.

It felt like my life went
from black and white
to technicolor.

Judy: I could tell by the way
she was talking about Gene,

that it was something special.

And it wasn't gonna
work out very well for G.E.

After a little while
they split up
and she was with Gene.

man: It's so wonderful
to see the two of you here,

joining me together.

This is wonderful
to see us here too.

- The two of us here seeing you.
- First appearance
ever together?

First with touching. [chuckles]

- First one with touching.
- With touching! [chuckles]

Where are you cutting this?

Gilda: Gene and I
lived together on and off

for the next two
and half years.

My new career became
getting him to marry me.

Being interested in sports was one of the things Gene wanted in a woman.

So I took tennis lessons
in California.

Gene loved France.
So I took lessons in French.

[speaking in French]

Ooh la la! [chuckles]

Gene: I think
I have always been searching

for some kind of love
that was perfect.

And so, of course,
it could never work out. And...

she's like a little gnat
that's saying,

"It's never gonna be perfect."

I brought imperfection
into his life.

- [chuckles] Yes.
- [chuckles]

She brought imperfection
into my life.

- I taught him how...
- Before that, it was perfect.

Jordan: Growing up, I would be with my Uncle Gene,

who was also a second father
to me, for a few months
of the year.

And when he and Gilda
moved in together,

that just sort of continued.

Not just us,
but Gene had created out of his friends in Los Angeles,

that were also colleagues,
a family atmosphere.

Gilda: Here, at the luxury,
rich and famous home
of the rich and famous,

very rich and very famous
Gilda Radner and Gene Wilder.

It's me, Robin Leach.

Let's make our way
quickly down the driveway,

you can see
a beautiful tennis court,

an expensive, luxury swing.

Coming along the path
is the very, very expensive,

rich and successful dog
of the Radner-Wilder's,

Miss Sparkle Radner-Wilder.

I had changed lives.

I left New York.

I stopped hanging out
with theSaturday Night Live
crowd.

And I'd lost touch
with a lot of people.

Paul: I mean,
Gene took Gilda away from us.

But we also were aware that she had physical problems,

and we just were aware
that he was getting her
taken care of.

Jordan: I think the thing
that Gene did the best

to help Gilda
was getting her to eat,

and enjoy eating.

He made her feel
that she deserved
to live life nicely,

and to look forward to things, not just on a weekly basis
but a daily basis.

woman: I don't know if you are
going to wear masterpieces...

in... on the movie,

but you are going to have
a masterpiece in real life.

Are we?

- Gene: Gilda!
- Hello, honey.

♪ Happy Birthday,
dear Ant-man ♪

- ♪ Happy Birthday to... ♪
- ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

[chuckles]

Gilda: There was a time
when I thought

that all I wanted to do
was work.

And now I know that what I really wanna do is live.

I'm growing up,
there's no doubt about it,
I'll tell you.

And I don't mind.

When I look in the mirror
I see lines around my eyes.
[chuckles]

I see a woman more.

A young woman, mind you,
but I see a woman.

And less a child.

[indistinct chatter]

woman: What about you and Gene,
will you have children?

Gilda: We would
like to have children.

woman: What would happen
to Gilda Radner?

Would you go through a lot
of turmoil about that?

Oh, no. I think, um...

No, no more
than I go through anyway.
[chuckles]

I think it'd be good turmoil.

I think that's what life
is about.

I mean,
what could be lovelier
than having a baby?

The hair alone
would make people squeal
with delight.

- Do I talk now?
- woman: If you want.

Happy Birthday, Lindsay.
Happy Birthday, Lindsay.

Boing, boing!

But my career was still
very important to me too.

Hello, Ted.

I just wanted
to say good morning,

and have a lovely day.

So when Orion Pictures
gave Gene the okay
onHaunted Honeymoon,

I put off having a baby.

Gene was the writer, director, and the star,

and I was his wife.

[screams]

Just practicing.

After the second shadow,

- there'll be lightning.
- man: Yes.

Gilda: I got heavily
into the adventure
of movie making.

- Ow! This thing's pinching
my butt.
- Just hang on for a minute.

And I didn't even think
to look at my calendar

until I got
the first dizzy spell.

My period was late.

I couldn't believe it.

Gene and I were ecstatic.

[music playing]

You believe in the work you do.

You have joy
in the work you do,

and then you find the public's not interested in it.

After that,

well, I guess I can call it,
the weird lives began.

Pam: Gilda was...

just not quite herself.
Her energy level wasn't great.

Jordan: One morning
she just said,

"I don't know
what's wrong with me.

Something's wrong with me."

Gilda: I wouldn't be able
to get out of bed
for quite a few days.

Then out of nowhere,
I started having
weird pelvic cramping.

A series of blood tests
showed

absolutely nothing wrong.

And they basically sent me home saying, "Everything's fine."

There was something not right, but there was nothing wrong.

That was when they were saying
it was Epstein Barr,
or it was just psychological.

Gilda: I've gone to doctors
and seen

that they're just looking at
Roseanne Roseannadanna,
or Emily Litella.

And not really seeing that
here's a person who is sick,

who has complaints.

On Monday, October 20th,
the phone rang.

It was my internist.

He checked me into the hospital immediately for tests.

He said very calmly...

"We've discovered
there is a malignancy."

I had been diagnosed
with ovarian cancer.

After she was diagnosed,

she responded like I think
a lot of people respond.

And was absolutely convinced
that this was the end
of her life.

And she didn't take calls
from me, and she didn't calls
from Judy.

It was a pretty tough,
difficult time.

Gilda: Last night I had
the huge, angry,
violent breakdown.

Why me? Why me?

I thought I was supposed
to be the jester.

I end up somehow being the...
the beggar.

I feel like some fighter who keeps getting knocked down to the floor.

Well, this time I'm having
a little bit of trouble
getting up.

I don't know. I'm getting
a little beaten up,
the old body.

Trying to find the confidence

to stand up
and fight some more.

But it seems like,
the gimme, gimme,
grabby, grabby, Gilda

doesn't want as much
as it used to.

Used to be,
"I wanted everything."

Career, husband, baby, travel, stardom, lights, stage.

Well, all this keeping getting knocked back down again makes me go,

"Okay, now,
just give me my health.

Just my health.

Okay? Just my health."

In the hospital,

I wanted to watch myself
in the reruns
ofSaturday Night Live.

'Cause it would
always make me laugh.

Young, dancing around.

Here I was, using the show
and my own self

to get me through
what was happening to me.

And I knew every night
I could look forward to it,

to seeing my friends,
to seeing myself,

going, "That is me.
And it's still me."

The most difficult part
of the whole chemotherapy
was my hair.

And I remember our friends
invited us to a party
and I wouldn't go.

Because I couldn't think,
how to... who to go as?

Who do you go as with no hair?

What character?

Just like I did
onSaturday Night Live,

I tried to think up,
who could I be
to get through this?

I knew
that I couldn't wear a wig.

And I thought
I'm gonna be better off
with a scarf or a turban.

So I kinda dressed like
a harem girl or something,

with this little hat on.

And I found a character...

to come back into the world.

The Oncologist wanted me
to see Joanna,

the therapist
who had a sharing group

at this place called The Wellness Community.

Gilda said, "No,
I'm not that kind of a person.
I can't go there.

You know, I don't feel
like making people laugh
right now. I'm too famous."

And finally Joanna talked her
into going

and she came home that night
and she said,
skipping and dancing,

"You gotta come,
you gotta come along.

You won't believe it.
It's just wonderful.

I took charge
and I told everyone

what was going on
inside my mind,

and I started to cry
and then they started to cry.

Then I started to laugh,
then they started to laugh.

And I want you to come with me."

Gilda: My humor had come back
to me.

So it doesn't matter there
that I'm Gilda Radner.

It's not my reputation,
it's really who I am,
and who I've always been.

In the hospital,

I would think up things
to make people laugh.

Like, I'd wait
till the nurse left the room

and then I'd buzz for her
and say into the intercom,

"Nurse", in the most
pathetic way possible.

"Nurse."

I always got them laughing
that way.

Gene: Okay.

Gilda:

Hello.
Hi.

This is my doctor.
Doctor, look, he's filming.
[chuckles]

Filling out my chart.

- Are you filming now?
- Gene: Yes, dear.

Oh. Here,
should I show my hair?

Gene: Oh, yeah. Please.

This is...

Wait, it's flaking.

- This is what--
- I love it like that.

[Gene chuckles]

I was panicked this time.
I didn't wanna come

for this treatment. I thought
if I filmed it, you know,

it would add a dimension
to take my mind off of it,
you know.

You're gonna take the blood?

Yeah.

So, are you nervous?

No. Doesn't care.
God, that's all I need.

Chemotherapy is so much fun.

Alan: Gilda was not gonna take
this shit lying down.

There's not a chance in Hell.

Cancer, fuck you.

I'm...
I'm gonna go out and play.

Let me figure out
how to do this.

♪ I am well, I am wonderful
I am cancer free ♪

♪ No little cancer cell
Is hiding inside of me ♪

♪ But if some little
cancer cell ♪

♪ Is sneakily holding on ♪

♪ I'll bash and beat
Its fucking head ♪

♪ And smash it till it's gone ♪

Hello.

Hello, it's a beautiful day
in October.

Gil, sit down over here
'cause the friend's
got the camera.

- The group is here.
- All right.

Hello. So nice to see you again.

I'm Gilda's brother.

woman: You're doing it
while I'm sitting.

The voice you're hearing
in the background is my mother.

Michael: Mother,
look at the camera.

- Gilda: Mom, look up
at the camera.
- Michael: Look at the camera.

- [inaudible chatter]
- [chuckles]

Gilda: My house became a resort
for my friends and family.

Who's that out there,
Gene Wilder?

Oh, I can't believe it.

[kisses]

I love you
and everything that you touch.

- Gene: Thank you.
- And I... and I... [chuckles]

Judy: Gilda was in remission.

And we were thrilled about it.

Gilda: How often do we
get to know exactly
what our battles are?

Or get to find out
what we're actually made of?
Or how brave we are?

I kept thinking,
there must be a purpose
to this somewhere.

That a comedian
who does, you know,
Roseanne Roseannadanna,

and all this stupid stuff,
gets the most unfunny thing
in the world.

How am I gonna get people
to laugh about it,

to be able to speak the words,

to be able to not be afraid
to be treated for it?

Alan: She said,
"You know something?

My jokes are my only weapon
against this fucker."

She said, "Zweibel,
can you help me
make cancer funny?"

I was starting a new
show called

It's Garry Shandling's Show.

And she was nervous at first
about doing the show.

We took a walk once
and she started to say,

"It's been six or seven years
since I've been on TV.

And I'm afraid that when I walk
through the door,

the studio audience
isn't even gonna remember me."

- Hi, Garry.
- Oh, Gilda!

It's Gilda Radner, everybody!

[crowd cheering, applause]

Really. Don't... don't...
don't milk the applause
like that. It's...

[crowd laughs]

Oh, I'm sorry, Garry.
I haven't been on television
for a while.

- Oh, that... yeah.
What... what was wrong?
- Oh, I had cancer.

- What did you have?
- [crowd laughs]

I just had a series
of bad career moves.

[crowd laughs]

Alan: This was verboten.

You don't make cancer jokes.

You know,
Gilda was the first person...

that I ever saw
do that publicly.

[crowd laughs]

Are you looking
into the camera?

- No.
- [crowd laughs]

- No, I didn't.
- Don't... don't look into
the camera.

- I didn't.
- Don't.

- I didn't.
- You don't come in here
and look in the camera.

I didn't.

I'll bop you.

[crowd laughs]

I will,
if I see a tape of this show...

and you're looking into the...

[crowd laughs]

[cheering and applause]

Gilda: The calmness
came over me,
like I was suddenly home.

Back, making people
laugh again.

Alan: She was on a mission
when she got sick.

She felt
that she could be of help...

by being an example.

And that's exactly what she did.

Gilda: And I thought
since I'd always dreamed
of being a writer,

romanticized, fantasized
about it...

that in this book there's something I could do...

to actually show people
that I'm not afraid.

I think that cancer taught me
more tools for life
than I ever got before.

Pam: There were numerous times
that we thought
she was in remission.

Her cancer, unfortunately,
kept rearing its head.

Judy: I remember once Pam and I were there together,

and they came out
and they were talking,
and then they got quiet.

I said to Pam later, I said,
"What did Gilda say to you?"

'Cause they stopped talking
when I came out.

And Pam said, "She said to me,

'For a little while there
I thought I was gonna
get away with this.'"

I think she finally realized that she wasn't gonna be okay.

Gilda: I had wanted
to wrap this up in a neat
little package.

About a girl who is a comedian from Detroit,

becomes famous in New York
with all the world
coming her way,

gets this horrible disease
of cancer, then fights it,

and then miraculously,

things neatly tie up
and she gets well.

I wanted a perfect ending.

So I sat down to write the
book with the ending in place

before there even
was an ending.

Now I've learned the hard way.

It's about not knowing.

Having to change.

Taking the moment
and making the best of it...

without knowing
what's going to happen next.

[music playing]

♪ Honey, touch me
With my clothes on ♪

♪ Sweetie, baby
Longer than you do ♪

♪ Honey, kiss me
With your mouth closed ♪

♪ Just like you love me
And I love you ♪

♪ Now whatever happened
To Johnny Mathis? ♪

♪ Two moments when your lips
Met mine ♪

♪ So in love were we two ♪

♪ We didn't know what to do
And chances ♪

♪ Were awfully good that
Love could be so fine ♪

♪ And whatever happened ♪

♪ To slow, slow dancin' ♪

♪ And imaginin'
How heaven could be? ♪

♪ Falling in love
Was wonderful, wonderful ♪

♪ Loving, baby,
Was a dream fantasy ♪

♪ Honey, touch me
With my clothes on ♪

♪ Sweetie, baby
Longer than you do ♪

♪ Honey, kiss me
With your mouth closed ♪

♪ Just like you love me
And I love you ♪

♪ Seemed so sad ♪

♪ Hurt so bad ♪

♪ Don't be cruel ♪

♪ I'm a fool ♪

♪ Only you ♪

♪ Mr. Blue ♪

♪ Can't you see? ♪

♪ Must I be? ♪

♪ Baby, Baby ♪

[music playing]

♪ Now whatever happened
To Johnny Mathis? ♪

♪ Gee
Wasn't his vibrato great? ♪

♪ So much love have we two
With so little left to do ♪

♪ Too much, too little
Too late ♪

♪ Too much, too little
Too late ♪

♪ Too much, too little... ♪

"To be famous is more or less
a stab at immortality."

"A chance to leave your name,
and your work,

and the memory
of millions of people."

"Unfortunately,
it doesn't help you personally
with being dead."

"'Cause once you're dead,
it really doesn't matter
much to you

about restaurants
and what's on television."

[chuckles]

"I was thinking
I'd like to be buried

with the television at my feet,

and I'd like
to have my tombstone read..."

"Gilda Radner had a great time."

"I just wanna make sure
anybody passing by my grave
gets a good laugh."

"A good, deep, mortal laugh,
even if I don't hear it."

♪ Touch me with my clothes on ♪