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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,145 - * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR 2 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,114 * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX * 3 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,448 * SHAKE IT, DUDE 4 00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:22,423 * 5 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,697 * ONE, TWO, DO IT 6 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,100 * 7 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,367 * ONE, TWO, THREE 8 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,403 - * FOUR, FOUR 9 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,439 * 10 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:42,343 - * SHUT THE DOOR, YOU WANNA LOOK TOUGH * 11 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,845 * SHUT THE DOOR, WANNA PLAY HARD * 12 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,248 - DID YOU SEE THAT? 13 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,383 - KIND OF HARD TO MISS. - SO GROSS. 14 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,086 - I THINK IT'S COOL. 15 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,555 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING THIS...FOR HIM. 16 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,756 - IT'S NOT FOR HIM. - I MEAN, 17 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,425 JUST BECAUSE HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO-- 18 00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:01,295 - HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND. I DON'T DO BOYFRIENDS. 19 00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,131 BESIDES, HALF THE KIDS IN SCHOOL 20 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,498 HAVE THEIR NOSES OR THEIR EARS PIERCED. 21 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,567 ERICA JACOBSON EVEN HAS HER BELLY BUTTON PIERCED. 22 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,304 - ERICA JACOBSON IS A WHORE. A-AND IT'S DANGEROUS. 23 00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:12,440 THIS GIRL IN TEXAS, HER BOYFRIEND WENT TO KISS HER, 24 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,308 HIS BRACES GOT CAUGHT IN HER TONGUE RING, 25 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:15,476 RIPPED IT CLEAR OUT OF HER MOUTH. 26 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,677 - THINGS LIKE THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN IN TEXAS. 27 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,180 - WHAT ABOUT THAT GUY WITH THE STUD IN HIS NOSTRIL, HMM? 28 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,182 GANGRENE SET IN. HE HAD TO HAVE HIS ENTIRE NOSE AMPUTATED. 29 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,316 - URBAN LEGEND. 30 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,852 - WHO'S NEXT? 31 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:28,789 TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT, HONEY. 32 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,724 SO WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT, RIGHT OR LEFT? 33 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,460 - I DON'T KNOW. 34 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:36,730 - YOU KNOW, MOST GUYS LIKE RIGHT. 35 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,299 OKAY. 36 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,702 - * HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY * 37 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,604 * HEY HEY 38 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:47,708 - EXCUSE ME, IS--IS THIS GOING TO HURT? 39 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,877 - OF COURSE. 40 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,747 ARE YOU READY? - MM-HMM. 41 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:56,384 - * HEY HEY HEY HEY 42 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:59,353 * HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY 43 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,688 - OW! 44 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:04,325 - * HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY 45 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:08,729 * 46 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,532 [dance music] 47 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:18,439 * 48 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,508 - NOTICE THAT PRACTICALLY EVERY GUY IN HERE'S BEEN CRUISING US? 49 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,843 - I SHOULD'VE WARNED YOU. THE...CLIENTELE 50 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,446 DOESN'T EXACTLY COME HERE FOR THE FIVE-STAR CUISINE. 51 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,515 EVERYBODY'S ALWAYS WISHING THEY HAD A BOYFRIEND. 52 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,817 WE ALL PICTURE HOW HE'D LOOK, HOW HE'D SOUND, 53 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,952 HOW NICE IT'D BE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO SHARE YOUR LIFE, 54 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,821 YOUR DREAMS, YOUR DENTAL FLOSS. 55 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,789 - A LITTLE DISCONCERTING WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO EAT. 56 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,291 - SO HOW COME SO FEW OF US HAVE ONE? 57 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,526 THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE LYING. 58 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,960 MOST OF US COULDN'T COMMIT TO A HOUSEPLANT. 59 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,263 HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COMMIT TO HAVING A BOYFRIEND? 60 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,199 YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN BRIAN COMES HERE. 61 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,537 I'M SO SORRY, I PROMISED I WOULD NOT MENTION HIS NAME 62 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:53,241 FOR TEN MINUTES. - I'D SETTLE FOR FIVE. 63 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:55,643 AND YOU'VE GOT TO STOP SMILING LIKE THAT. 64 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,311 - LIKE WHAT? - LIKE THAT. 65 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:58,679 IT MAKES ME WANT TO COME ACROSS THE TABLE 66 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,748 AND EAT YOU LIKE A DESSERT. 67 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:03,817 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WHIPPED CREAM WITH THAT, SIR? 68 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,486 - I'D STAY AWAY FROM THAT ONION, HONEY, 69 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,687 ESPECIALLY IF YOU TWO ARE PLANNING ON GOING 70 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,688 AT IT ALL NIGHT. 71 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:08,956 - MA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 72 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:09,957 - TRYING TO PAY MY BILLS. 73 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,926 YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? 74 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,330 - THIS IS--THIS IS YOUR, UH... - MOTHER. 75 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,898 - I'M DEBBIE, AND YOU'RE... 76 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,734 GODDAMN GORGEOUS IS WHAT YOU ARE. 77 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,635 - MA, THIS IS DAVID. AND I-- 78 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,971 I THOUGHT TONIGHT WAS YOUR NIGHT OFF. 79 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,473 - OH, YEAH, LORRAINE GOT FOOD POISONING. 80 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,975 I THINK IT WAS THE SHISH KABOB. [laughs] 81 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,244 I'M JUST KIDDING. 82 00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:32,780 OKAY, GOT TO GET CRANKING. 83 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,782 GOT A LOT OF HUNGRY BOYS TO FEED. 84 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:38,419 JESUS, MY BACK IS KILLING ME. 85 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,987 - HEY. 86 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,623 IF YOU LIFT FROM YOUR KNEES, 87 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,325 TAKES THE PRESSURE OFF YOUR BACK. 88 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:47,661 YOU FEEL THAT? - YEAH, I'LL REMEMBER THAT. 89 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:51,632 YOU'RE AN ANGEL. - NO, I'M A CHIROPRACTOR. 90 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:52,666 - YOU'RE A DOCTOR? 91 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,903 - YEAH. - YOU'RE DATING A DOCTOR? 92 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,472 HOW LONG WERE YOU PLANNING ON HIDING HIM FROM ME? 93 00:03:58,506 --> 00:03:59,873 - AS LONG AS I COULD. 94 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,343 - YOU'RE COMING FOR DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT. 95 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,344 - HE CAN'T. - I CAN'T? 96 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,646 - YOU GOT PLANS. HE'S GOT PLANS. HE'S VERY BUSY. 97 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,348 - DEBBIE, I'D LOVE TO. - GOOD FOR YOU. 98 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,550 I'LL SEE YOU THERE, 7:30. - OKAY. 99 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,885 [chuckles] 100 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:15,689 - CRAIG? 101 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,759 AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY ANYTHING? 102 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,763 - JUSTIN'S NOT GAY. 103 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,533 THOSE NUDE DRAWINGS YOU FOUND, 104 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,635 THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST AN ASSIGNMENT FOR ART CLASS. 105 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,803 AND THE UNDERWEAR, I'M SURE HE JUST BOUGHT IT FOR HIMSELF. 106 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,539 - IT'S NOT HIS SIZE. 107 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:34,775 - STILL, THAT'S NO REASON TO SUSPECT THAT HE'S... 108 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,877 - HE TOLD ME HIMSELF. - SO WHAT? 109 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:40,781 THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. A LOT OF KIDS THINK THAT. 110 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,850 THEY'RE CONFUSED, THEY'RE SCARED. 111 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,852 - HE'S NOT CONFUSED. HE'S NOT SCARED. 112 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,421 HE KNOWS. 113 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:48,656 THE SAME WAY WE'VE ALWAYS KNOWN. 114 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,024 - NO, NO, I HAVE NOT ALWAYS KNOWN. 115 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,061 - AT LEAST SUSPECTED. - NO, YOU'VE SUSPECTED. 116 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,929 HE'S NOT GAY. HE'S... 117 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,798 - WHAT, SENSITIVE? 118 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,733 DIFFERENT? ARTISTIC? 119 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,068 - HE'S HIS OWN PERSON. 120 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,803 YOU KNOW, NOT EVERY KID IS THE QUARTERBACK 121 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:03,937 ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM. 122 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,706 - I THINK YOU BETTER TALK TO HIM. 123 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,509 - [chuckles] AND SAY WHAT? 124 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,444 "YOUR MOTHER THINKS YOU'RE A HOMOSEXUAL"? 125 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,045 - BEFORE HE GETS HIMSELF INTO TROUBLE. 126 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:14,982 BEFORE HE EXPOSES HIMSELF TO GOD KNOWS WHAT. 127 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,517 IF HE HASN'T ALREADY. 128 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,787 - WAIT. 129 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,422 YOU'RE SAYING HE'S DOING THINGS? 130 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,858 - HE'S...17. 131 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,560 HOW NAIVE CAN YOU BE? 132 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:27,795 - SO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 133 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,464 - I PROMISED HIM I WOULDN'T. 134 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:33,501 - OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC. 135 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,937 DON'T I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE? 136 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:40,107 HEY, JUSTIN! - HE'S NOT HERE. 137 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,876 HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO DAPHNE'S, BUT I KNOW HE'S NOT. 138 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:46,046 - SO WHERE IS HE? 139 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:49,417 - THE OTHER NIGHT, I FOUND HIM IN A GAY BAR. 140 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,851 - I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS, JEN. 141 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:54,655 YOU LET HIM GO TO THESE PLACES? - I HAD NO IDEA. 142 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,559 - WELL, I'M PUTTING A STOP TO THIS RIGHT NOW. 143 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,928 - THERE'S MORE. 144 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,997 HE'S SEEING SOMEONE. 145 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:07,735 - SO WHO IS THIS KID? I'LL CALL HIS PARENTS. 146 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:11,071 - HE'S NOT A KID. HE'S A MAN. 147 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:14,608 HIS NAME IS BRIAN KINNEY. 148 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,447 - I SAY, IF IT WALKS LIKE A BOYFRIEND... 149 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,614 - TALKS LIKE A BOYFRIEND... 150 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:23,050 both: THEN IT MUST BE A BOYFRIEND. 151 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,885 - WOULD YOU TWO PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP? 152 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,887 - I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT MIKEY'S GOT A STEADY. 153 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,857 - HE'S NOT A STEADY. WE WENT OUT TWICE. 154 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,159 - AROUND HERE, THAT'S A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP. 155 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,994 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'LL BE EXCHANGING RINGS. 156 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,664 - MM, AND THEN THERE'LL BE ONE OF THOSE COMMITMENT CEREMONIES 157 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,198 WHERE, LIKE, ALL 200 OF THE GUESTS 158 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,101 HAVE SLEPT WITH ONE, IF NOT BOTH, OF THE HAPPY COUPLE. 159 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,636 - JUST, UM, PROMISE ME 160 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,037 YOU WON'T WEAR MATCHING WHITE SUITS. 161 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,840 - THERE'S NO WAY THAT IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN. 162 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:50,644 - WELL, THEN I SUGGEST YOU WATCH OUT FOR THE WARNING SIGNS. 163 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:51,812 - WHAT WARNING SIGNS? 164 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,581 - LIKE WHEN HE BRINGS YOU FLOWERS. 165 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,650 - OR INVITES YOU AWAY FOR A ROMANTIC WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRY. 166 00:06:56,684 --> 00:07:00,521 - NOT THAT YOU'LL SEE MUCH BESIDE THE BEDROOM CEILING. 167 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,055 - YOUR SHOT, MIKEY. 168 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,158 - OH, OR THE MOST TELLTALE SIGN OF ALL, 169 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,860 WHEN HE MEETS YOUR MOTHER, 170 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:10,097 AND SHE INVITES HIM OVER FOR DINNER. 171 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,734 - SOMETHING THE MATTER? 172 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,968 - I LOST MY GRIP. 173 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,904 - GUESS WHAT I GOT TODAY. 174 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,072 - A NEW BELL FOR YOUR BICYCLE? 175 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,109 - A NIPPLE RING. 176 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,911 - EVERY PIECE OF TRASH HAS SOMETHING 177 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,546 STUCK THROUGH THEIR EAR OR THEIR NOSE 178 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,115 OR THEIR BELLY BUTTON OR THEIR COCK. 179 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,584 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M EVEN REMOTELY INTERESTED 180 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,586 THAT YOU HAVE A RING THROUGH YOUR TIT? 181 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,556 - IT'S LATE. I GOT WORK. 182 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,190 - DON'T FORGET ABOUT THIS FRIDAY. 183 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,960 - WHAT'S THIS FRIDAY? - YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW. 184 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,562 - TELL ME. 185 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,665 - JUST SOME HEATHEN RITUAL CALLED "STUDS IN SUDS." 186 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:47,668 - STUDS IN SUDS? WHAT'S THAT? 187 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,570 - WELL... [clears throat] 188 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,539 FIRST THEY FLOOD THE DANCE FLOOR AT BABYLON WITH SOAPSUDS. 189 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,507 - AND THEN EVERYONE STRIPS DOWN TO THEIR UNDIES... 190 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:56,810 - OR LESS, AND DANCES... CHEEK TO CHEEK. 191 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:59,112 - SOUNDS AWESOME. - IT'S DISGUSTING. 192 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,113 - SEE YOU THERE? - CAN'T WAIT. 193 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,783 - MM. 194 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,585 - YOU BETTER BE THERE TOO. 195 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,687 - DON'T WORRY. 196 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,022 - GUESS WHO'S HEAD OVER HEELS? 197 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,724 - I THINK YOU MEAN "HEELS OVER HEAD." 198 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,059 [laughter] 199 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,527 - DOES MICHAEL HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 200 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:14,795 - THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 201 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,730 - I JUST WANT TO KNOW. 202 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:19,800 - WELL, DON'T STICK YOUR TIT IN WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG. 203 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,801 - OW. 204 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:26,774 [crickets chirping] 205 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:43,123 [new age music] 206 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,694 * 207 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,630 - * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON * 208 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:53,266 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON * 209 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,704 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON 210 00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:02,710 [passionate moaning] 211 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:06,647 * AWAY, AWAY 212 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,883 * SOMEHOW IT'S GETTING AWAY FROM ME * 213 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:13,621 * AWAY, AWAY 214 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,724 * THERE IT GOES, MY SANITY * 215 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:20,060 * ALL GONE 216 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:23,797 * NOW THAT IT'S ALL FINALLY GONE * 217 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,934 * ALL GONE 218 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:30,838 * NOW THAT IT'S ALL FINALLY GONE * 219 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,340 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON * 220 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,944 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON 221 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:42,115 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON * 222 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,651 [moaning] 223 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:47,788 * TODAY, TODAY 224 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,758 * NEVER THOUGHT IT COULD GET WORSE * 225 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:54,094 * TODAY, TODAY 226 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,731 * TRAPPED INSIDE A UNIVERSE * 227 00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,701 * ALL ALONE 228 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:04,337 * ALONE IN THIS PARTY OF ONE * 229 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,908 * ALL ALONE 230 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,211 * ALONE IN THIS PARTY OF ONE * 231 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,682 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON * 232 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:18,051 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON 233 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:24,024 * TRULY AM MY FATHER'S SON * 234 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,394 [knock on door] - OOH. 235 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:31,164 THAT MUST BE PRINCE CHARMING. 236 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:34,735 MAKE THAT THE WICKED WITCH. 237 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,003 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 238 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,705 - I'M HUNGRY. LET'S GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. 239 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,039 - I'M GOING TO MY MOM'S, REMEMBER? 240 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,075 - OH, RIGHT, DIN-DIN WITH DOC. I FORGOT. 241 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,310 - HE'S GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE, SO YOU BETTER GO. 242 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,745 - WHAT'S THIS? 243 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,279 - CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS FROM THE BIG Q BAKERY. 244 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,848 I BOUGHT THEM FOR DESSE... 245 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:48,882 - WOW. IT'S TAKES YEARS OF PRACTICE 246 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,885 TO DEVELOP TECHNIQUE LIKE THAT. 247 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,286 - LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE HIM... 248 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,022 - WHO SAID I DON'T LIKE HIM? 249 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,824 AND WHY DO YOU GIVE A FUCK WHAT I THINK? 250 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,225 - I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR YEARS. 251 00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,160 - WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU THINK. 252 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:03,764 IF YOU LIKE HIM, THAT'S ALL THAT'S IMPORTANT. 253 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,099 EVEN THOUGH HE IS QUITE A BIT OLDER THAN YOU... 254 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,935 AND LIVES IN A WORLD YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. 255 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,369 - SHUT UP. 256 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,404 - ARE YOU SAYING HE'S TOO GOOD FOR ME? 257 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,806 - NOBODY'S TOO GOOD FOR YOU, MIKEY. 258 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:13,974 YOU'RE BETTER THAN ANYONE. 259 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,743 - BECAUSE HE HAPPENS TO THINK I'M HOT. 260 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,310 YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE DO. 261 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,446 - HAVEN'T I ALWAYS TOLD YOU THAT? 262 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,015 [knock on door] - I'LL GET IT. 263 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:28,188 - DAVE, BUDDY. WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU. 264 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,190 - REALLY? HI, EMMETT. - HI. 265 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,861 - HI. 266 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,462 THESE ARE GREAT. MY MOM'LL LOVE THESE. 267 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,498 - HERS ARE IN THE CAR. THOSE ARE FOR YOU. 268 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,903 - THE SECOND SIGN-- FLOWERS. 269 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:47,340 I'LL JUST PUT THESE IN SOME WATER. 270 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,076 - EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 271 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:54,514 - HE'S ALLERGIC TO BOYFRIENDS BRINGING BOUQUETS. 272 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,349 - WELL, WE BETTER GO. [clears throat] 273 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,152 DON'T WANT TO BE LATE. 274 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:05,358 - DON'T FORGET THIS. 275 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,028 HAVE FUN, YOU TWO. 276 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,203 - YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL. YOU PROMISED. 277 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,838 - JUSTIN, I HAD NO CHOICE. I HAD TO TELL DADDY. 278 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,273 - YOU LIED TO ME. YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T. 279 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,875 - IT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 280 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,044 WHEN I SAW YOU WITH THIS BRIAN... 281 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,379 - YOU KEEP CALLING HIM "THIS BRIAN," 282 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,916 LIKE THAT'S HIS NAME. IT'S JUST BRIAN. 283 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:34,521 - WHEN I SAW YOU WITH BRIAN... 284 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,423 HIS ARMS AROUND YOU, KISSING YOU-- 285 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,225 I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. 286 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,261 NOT FOR THE REASON YOU THINK. 287 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,231 IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR A MAN HIS AGE 288 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,867 TO BE TOUCHING YOU. 289 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,469 TO BE HAVING SEX WITH YOU. 290 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:52,539 AND... 291 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:57,477 EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY THINK YOU LOVE HIM... 292 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,913 I'M SURE HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. 293 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,149 - THAT'S NOT TRUE. - HE'S AN ADULT. 294 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,952 IT'S ILLEGAL FOR AN ADULT TO HAVE SEX WITH A MINOR. 295 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,920 - HONEY, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. WE DON'T BLAME YOU. 296 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,889 WE UNDERSTAND THIS MAN ENTICED YOU. 297 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,524 - HE DIDN'T ENTICE ME. I WANTED HIM. 298 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,027 - JUSTIN...GOD! 299 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,496 Y-YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. 300 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,099 - CRAIG, PLEASE. YOU PROMISED YOU'D STAY CALM. 301 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,069 - I--I AM CALM. 302 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,603 WHAT ABOUT AIDS? 303 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,439 - HE WORE A CONDOM. I PUT IT ON HIM MYSELF. 304 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,409 - OH, GOD! I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 305 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,410 - YOU'RE NOT CALLING ANYBODY. 306 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:31,945 THAT'S ALL WE NEED IS FOR EVERYBODY TO KNOW. 307 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,114 - WHAT, YOU WANT THIS MONSTER, 308 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,216 THIS CHILD MOLESTER TO GO FREE? 309 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:41,188 - HE DIDN'T MOLEST ME, AND I'M NOT A CHILD. 310 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,623 I LOVE HIM... 311 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,359 MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE. 312 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:49,496 IT'S ALL I WANT, 313 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,965 IS TO BE WITH HIM. 314 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:55,936 - I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT AGAIN. 315 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,938 AND YOU ARE NOT TO SEE HIM. 316 00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:00,407 - I'M GOING TO SEE HIM. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY. 317 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,476 - I DON'T THINK SO. NO, YOU'RE NOT, JUSTIN. 318 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,946 HEY, JUSTIN! 319 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,416 - HAVE SOME MORE CARBONARA, DAVID. 320 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,885 - I'M STUFFED, THANKS. 321 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,421 - OH, COME ON. WITH THAT BODY, YOU CAN AFFORD TO CARBO-LOAD. 322 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,456 - YEAH, YOU MUST WORK OUT ALL THE TIME. 323 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:19,292 - WELL, WHEN I CAN. - FEEL THOSE BICEPS. 324 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,561 I NEVER COULD RESIST A HARD BODY. 325 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:25,232 LIKE MOTHER, LIKE SON. - LIKE UNCLE. 326 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,968 - LIKE, WILL YOU TWO PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE? 327 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,669 NEXT YOU'LL BE ASKING WHAT KIND OF CAR HE DRIVES 328 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:34,641 AND HOW MUCH HE MAKES. - [laughs] 329 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:38,045 I DRIVE A JAG, AND I'M COMFORTABLE. 330 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,150 - MICHAEL, IF YOU DON'T MARRY THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY, I WILL. 331 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,685 - I THINK I WILL HAVE A LITTLE MORE. 332 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,688 - ME TOO. 333 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,123 - [laughs] IT'S LIKE LADY AND THE TRAMP. 334 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,691 - LADY AND THE TRAMP? 335 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,260 - IT'S MICHAEL'S FAVORITE MOVIE. 336 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,162 - WHEN I WAS NINE. 337 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,229 - SEE, LADY AND TRAMP GO ON THIS DATE 338 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:59,232 TO AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT, AND THEN THE WAITER... 339 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,269 - TONY. - WHAT ELSE WOULD HIS NAME BE? 340 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:05,005 BRINGS OVER THIS BIG BOWL OF SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS. 341 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:09,242 AND, UM--AND THEY PUT THEIR HEAD IN THE BOWL... 342 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:12,245 THEY'RE DOGS. [laughter] 343 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:16,549 AND THEY COME UP WITH THIS ONE SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI. 344 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,019 AND THEN THEY CHEW, AND THEY CHEW AND... 345 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,588 - THEY GET CLOSER AND CLOSER... 346 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,957 - UNTIL FINALLY, THEIR LIPS MEET. 347 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,159 [chuckles] 348 00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:29,496 - IT IS, IN MY ESTIMATION, THE GREATEST SCREEN KISS EVER. 349 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,131 - I--I REMEMBER IT. 350 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,700 LIKE THIS. 351 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:41,374 [romantic Italian music] 352 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:49,349 * 353 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:59,259 - THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE MOVIE. 354 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:07,300 * 355 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,245 - YOU WANT TO SEE MY OLD ROOM? 356 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,313 - I'D LOVE TO SEE YOUR OLD ROOM. 357 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,522 - AND BE GENTLE. [laughter] 358 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,462 - I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK TO DO THIS. 359 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,331 - ME TOO. 360 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,133 - JUST HASN'T BEEN ANY TIME. 361 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,369 - I KNOW. IT'S HARD. 362 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,472 FINDING THE TIME. [laughter] 363 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,240 - I GOT A SOLUTION. - MM-HMM. 364 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,308 - I GOT A SOLUTION. 365 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,411 HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO AWAY WITH ME FOR THE WEEKEND? 366 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:52,779 - HUH? 367 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,547 - I GOT A CABIN UP IN THE WOODS. 368 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:58,251 - WILL I GET TO SEE ANYTHING BESIDES THE BEDROOM CEILING? 369 00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:01,788 - WORD OF HONOR. WHAT DO YOU SAY? 370 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:09,562 - SAY "YES," YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE, OR I'LL DISOWN YOU. 371 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,399 [laughter] 372 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,402 - LIKE I SAID, IT'S A VERY SMALL HOUSE. 373 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,405 * 374 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:22,375 [typing] 375 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,482 [telephone rings] 376 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,418 - 6 FULLER, CORNER OF TREMONT. 377 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:36,223 IT SHOULD TAKE YOU TEN MINUTES-- ONE FOR EVERY INCH. 378 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:44,063 [knock on door] 379 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,872 YOU GOT LAID. - I DID NOT. 380 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:56,609 - YES, YOU DID. I CAN ALWAYS TELL. 381 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,845 I THOUGHT YOU AND DAVE WERE HAVING DINNER AT DEB'S. 382 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,447 - DINNER'S OVER. 383 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,249 - [scoffs] WHAT, DID SHE SCARE HIM OFF? 384 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:05,252 - ACTUALLY, SHE AND VIC WERE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR. 385 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:09,422 - THAT'S EVEN SCARIER. LISTEN, YOU CAN'T STAY. 386 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,224 I'VE GOT SOMEONE COMING OVER IN APPROXIMATELY 387 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,793 7 1/2 INCHES, SO... 388 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:19,166 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW AT STUDS IN SUDS. 389 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,301 - I CAN'T GO. 390 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,871 THAT'S WHAT I CAME OVER HERE TO TELL YOU. 391 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:25,872 [sighs] 392 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:29,476 DAVID INVITED ME AWAY WITH HIM FOR THE WEEKEND. 393 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,213 HE HAS A CABIN. 394 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,582 - WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE THE BOY SAID-- 395 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,518 FLOWERS, DINNER AT MOM'S, 396 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,753 AND NOW AN INVITATION TO THE COUNTRY. 397 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,390 - YOU'RE MAD. - WHY WOULD I BE MAD? 398 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,225 I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO BE ON A CROWDED DANCE FLOOR 399 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,360 SURROUNDED BY NAKED MEN COVERED IN SOAPSUDS 400 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,829 WHEN YOU CAN BE BREATHING ALL THAT FRESH, COUNTRY AIR? 401 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:53,500 [telephone rings] 402 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,368 JUST DON'T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR INHALER, 403 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:57,570 IN CASE YOUR ASTHMA ATTACKS. 404 00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,206 [telephone ringing] 405 00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,209 MUST HAVE GOTTEN LOST. 406 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,244 I TOLD YOU, 6 FULLER, CORNER OF TREMONT. 407 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,912 NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE. 408 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,647 I'VE GOT THIS NEW DILDO-- 409 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,251 9 INCHES LONG, 7 INCHES ROUND. 410 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,919 I'M GOING TO OPEN UP YOUR HOLE WITH IT, 411 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,554 AND THEN I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU SO HARD, 412 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:18,558 YOUR EYES ROLL BACK IN YOUR HEAD. 413 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:22,529 - YOU EVER CONSIDERED A CAREER IN PHONE SALES? 414 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,931 - GET OUT OF HERE. 415 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,836 [telephone rings] 416 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,439 NOW WHAT? 417 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:39,379 DIDN'T YOU JUST CALL? 418 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,348 THAT WASN'T YOU? 419 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:50,557 - IT'S MY NECK AGAIN. 420 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:51,958 I CAN BARELY MOVE IT. 421 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,960 - DO YOU WANT THE PERIWINKLE OR THE APRICOT? 422 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:54,794 - SHH. 423 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,329 - [whispering] I THINK THE APRICOT 424 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:59,532 GOES BETTER WITH YOUR EYES. 425 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,969 - UH, YEAH, I--I THINK IT'LL BE BETTER IN A COUPLE OF DAYS. 426 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:06,939 OH, DON'T WORRY, I DEFINITELY PLAN ON SEEING MY CHIROPRACTOR. 427 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,008 - [snickers] - THANKS. 428 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:13,280 THANKS. BYE. 429 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,648 - YOU KNOW WHAT GROWS WHEN YOU LIE. 430 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:16,983 - TOO BAD IT'S YOUR NOSE. 431 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,352 - I'M ENTITLED TO A COUPLE OF PERSONAL DAYS. 432 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,288 - MICHAEL, YOU'RE ENTITLED TO A PERSONAL LIFE. 433 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,289 - ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU GOT EVERYTHING? 434 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,956 - UH, FIVE PAIRS OF JEANS, 435 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:27,727 SEVEN SHIRTS, FOUR SWEATERS, AND TEN TEES. 436 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,829 - HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING FOR? - THE WEEKEND. 437 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,365 - ALL RIGHT. 438 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:38,671 ONE CHANGE OF UNDIES. A PACK OF CONDOMS. 439 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,840 TUBE OF LUBE. THERE, YOU'RE ALL SET. 440 00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,475 - [chuckles] 441 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,681 - REMEMBER WHEN MY MOM TOOK ME TO ATLANTIC CITY, 442 00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:51,351 AND I GOT SICK ON ALL THAT SALTWATER TAFFY? 443 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:54,053 - LISTEN TO HIM. HE'S GOT COLD FEET ALREADY. 444 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,888 - I'M NOT GETTING COLD FEET. 445 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,958 I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DO FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND. 446 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,527 - WELL, LET'S SEE. FIRST YOU ARRIVE... 447 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,761 - THEN YOU FUCK. - THEN YOU UNPACK... 448 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:02,695 - THEN YOU FUCK. - THEN YOU GO BERRY PICKING. 449 00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:03,896 - THEN YOU FUCK. 450 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,831 - I MEAN, AFTER YOU FUCK. 451 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,999 - YOU TALK. YOU GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 452 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,369 - WHAT IF I RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY? 453 00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,804 WHAT IF I SAY SOME STUPID REMARK, AND HE SAYS, 454 00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:14,741 "WHY AM I UP HERE WITH THIS JERK?" 455 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,043 OR WHAT IF-- - HEY, HEY. 456 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,579 WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP WORRYING? 457 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,651 - I JUST WANT HIM TO LIKE ME. 458 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:28,054 - HE ALREADY DOES. 459 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:33,826 HE MORE THAN LIKES YOU. 460 00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:41,801 - SO YOU GO, AND YOU HAVE A FABULOUS TIME. 461 00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:46,473 AND BRING US BACK SOME BERRIES. 462 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,910 - THAT'S-- NOT MY BERRIES. 463 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,682 - HOW MUCH? - 2,000. 464 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:58,084 WHO KNEW IT WOULD BE SO EXPENSIVE HAVING A KID? 465 00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:00,119 - OBVIOUSLY WE DIDN'T. 466 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:03,356 - CAN I TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU TO DEATH? 467 00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:06,058 - HMM. YOU AND MELANIE REALLY ARE AFTER MY LIFE INSURANCE. 468 00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:10,430 - AND THAT YOU ARE EXCEEDINGLY GENEROUS? 469 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:13,833 - WELL, YOU KNOW, I BARELY HAVE ENOUGH LEFT FOR STUDS IN SUDS. 470 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:16,669 - OH, IS THAT THIS WEEKEND? YOU GOING WITH MICHAEL? 471 00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:19,005 - MICHAEL WENT TO THE COUNTRY WITH THE PROCTOLOGIST. 472 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,840 - CHIROPRACTOR. - WHATEVER. 473 00:22:20,873 --> 00:22:21,974 - OH, SOUNDS ROMANTIC. 474 00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:24,511 PEACEFUL WALKS, COZY FIRES... 475 00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:28,681 - STEPPING IN BEAR SHIT, BEING STUNG BY MOSQUITOES. 476 00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:30,016 I GUARANTEE YOU, AFTER TWO DAYS, 477 00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:32,652 HE'LL WISH HE WAS BACK HERE WITH ME IN BABYLON. 478 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,120 - I WOULDN'T BE SO SURE. 479 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:35,888 HE MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE A CHANGE OF SCENE, 480 00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:37,957 NOT TO MENTION SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE WITH HIM. 481 00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,592 - YOU KNOW, I TOLD HIM, 482 00:22:39,626 --> 00:22:41,127 "I'M GLAD YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH DAVE." 483 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,695 HE CAN'T SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE 484 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,864 TRICKING AND GOING TO CLUBS. 485 00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:47,767 IT'S TIME HE SETTLED DOWN... 486 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,035 AND GREW UP. 487 00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:51,538 - [laughs] YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT. 488 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,172 YOU CAN'T IMAGINE WHY TWO PEOPLE 489 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,741 WOULD WANT TO BE TOGETHER, CAN YOU? 490 00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:56,609 - THE DESIRE TO FALL ASLEEP IN FRONT OF JAY LENO 491 00:22:56,643 --> 00:22:59,045 AND ARGUE OVER WHOSE TURN IT IS TO PICK UP THE DRY CLEANING? 492 00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,614 - IT'S CALLED NOT WANTING TO BE ALONE, 493 00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:03,149 KNOWING THAT YOU'RE LOVED. 494 00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:04,717 APPARENTLY, A LOT OF US NEED THAT, 495 00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:07,153 INCLUDING MICHAEL. 496 00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:10,523 SO PROMISE ME YOU WON'T FUCK IT UP FOR HIM. 497 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:17,029 - YOU RAN INTO MY LANE, YOU STUPID ASS. 498 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:19,031 - I COULDN'T SEE YOU. I FORGOT MY CONTACTS. 499 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,000 - FAG. 500 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:25,538 HEY, TAYLOR. AREN'T YOU GONNA TAKE A SHOWER? 501 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:27,440 - I HAVE TO FINISH A PAPER FOR NESSLER. 502 00:23:27,474 --> 00:23:28,775 YOU KNOW WHAT A BITCH SHE IS. 503 00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:31,644 - DON'T YOU WANNA CHECK OUT ALL THE GUYS' DICKS? 504 00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:34,581 I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE THAT. 505 00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:36,215 HEY, WHAT'S THAT? - NOTHING. 506 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,785 - LET'S SEE. WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? 507 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:41,788 - A PIERCING PARLOR ON LIBERTY AVENUE. 508 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:45,592 - SHIT, YOU REALLY ARE A QUEER. - AM NOT. 509 00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,694 - YEAH? THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE A NIPPLE RING? 510 00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:48,995 - I WANTED IT. 511 00:23:49,028 --> 00:23:50,763 - YEAH, SO YOUR FUDGE-PACKING FRIENDS 512 00:23:50,797 --> 00:23:52,732 CAN PULL ON IT WHILE THEY'RE BUTT-FUCKING YOU? 513 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,967 - HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT FAGGOTS DO 514 00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:57,837 UNLESS YOU ARE ONE? 515 00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:00,673 - FIGHT! 516 00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:02,842 - BREAK IT UP. 517 00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:05,845 - COME ON, GET UP! - BITCH! 518 00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:08,214 YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH. - COME ON, CHILL OUT. 519 00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:09,816 - AH! 520 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:12,051 - YOU FUCKING-- I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING... 521 00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:35,141 - WOW. 522 00:24:37,176 --> 00:24:41,247 YOU REALLY BUILT THIS PLACE YOURSELF? 523 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,950 - MOST OF IT. 524 00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:45,184 I'M GOOD WITH MY HANDS. 525 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:46,519 [both chuckle] 526 00:24:46,553 --> 00:24:48,054 - YEAH, I'VE NOTICED. 527 00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:48,921 [breathes deep] 528 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,190 I FORGOT HOW GOOD FRESH AIR SMELLS. 529 00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:52,992 - WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN THE COUNTRY? 530 00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:55,628 - WE VISITED A DAIRY IN THE THIRD GRADE. 531 00:24:55,662 --> 00:24:59,131 - THAT'S A LONG TIME. [laughs] 532 00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:01,100 [horse neighs] 533 00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:12,144 MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. 534 00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:15,047 I'M JUST GOING TO THROW THIS BAG UPSTAIRS. 535 00:25:23,322 --> 00:25:27,760 - SO DID YOU CATCH THAT FISH OR CHALLENGE IT TO A DUEL? 536 00:25:27,794 --> 00:25:29,629 - I--I CAUGHT THAT WITH SOME FRIENDS 537 00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:32,599 DOWN IN THE FLORIDA KEYS. 538 00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,639 - WHO'S THIS? 539 00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:40,840 - MY EX. 540 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:44,844 - EX-SCUBA-DIVING INSTRUCTOR? EX-FIGURE-SKATING PARTNER? 541 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,946 - EX-WIFE. 542 00:25:50,216 --> 00:25:53,686 - SHE'S PRETTY. 543 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,857 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE MARRIED. 544 00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:02,829 - YEAH, SEVEN YEARS. 545 00:26:02,862 --> 00:26:05,264 AND THAT IS MY SON HANK. 546 00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:09,869 HE'S 12 NOW. 547 00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:12,805 HE'S, UH, LIVING WITH HIS MOM 548 00:26:12,839 --> 00:26:15,975 DOWN IN OREGON. 549 00:26:18,044 --> 00:26:21,781 I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM TOO MUCH ANYMORE. 550 00:26:21,814 --> 00:26:24,183 - SO YOU WEREN'T ALWAYS GAY? 551 00:26:24,216 --> 00:26:29,355 - NO, I WAS ALWAYS GAY. 552 00:26:29,388 --> 00:26:31,624 JUST DIDN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT. 553 00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:35,227 AND BEING THE OVERACHIEVER THAT I AM, 554 00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:38,264 I FIGURED THAT, IF I WORKED HARD ENOUGH, 555 00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:40,366 I COULD BECOME ANYTHING I WANTED, 556 00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:43,135 INCLUDING STRAIGHT. 557 00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:45,037 SO I MARRIED LORI. 558 00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:48,107 AND FOR A LONG TIME, WE WERE HAPPY. 559 00:26:48,140 --> 00:26:52,378 BUILT THIS PLACE TOGETHER. 560 00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:55,114 BUT EVENTUALLY, IT BECAME HARDER TO-- 561 00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:58,384 TO DENY WHO I REALLY WAS. 562 00:26:58,417 --> 00:27:01,287 WHO I AM. 563 00:27:02,989 --> 00:27:05,291 SO I TOLD HER. 564 00:27:13,432 --> 00:27:17,870 I-IT WAS THE ONLY FAIR THING TO DO. 565 00:27:17,904 --> 00:27:20,106 FOR EITHER OF US. 566 00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:23,375 - SHE MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY UPSET. 567 00:27:29,048 --> 00:27:33,419 - AFTER WE SPLIT UP... [clears throat] 568 00:27:33,452 --> 00:27:37,890 AFTER WE SPLIT UP, I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WOULD... 569 00:27:37,924 --> 00:27:41,928 WELL, THAT I WOULD BE HONEST WITH ME... 570 00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:43,362 AND THAT I WOULD ALWAYS BE HONEST 571 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:46,332 WITH ANYONE ELSE THAT I LOVED. 572 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,270 WHICH, I GUESS, IS WHY I'M TELLING YOU. 573 00:28:10,256 --> 00:28:12,191 WHOA. 574 00:28:12,224 --> 00:28:14,861 YOU ALL RIGHT? 575 00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:20,099 - MUST BE ALL THIS FRESH AIR. 576 00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:30,142 [dance music] 577 00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:33,780 * 578 00:28:33,813 --> 00:28:35,948 - * WAKE UP 579 00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:37,884 * SHAKE YOURSELF AWAKE 580 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:42,354 * YOU'RE REALLY HERE, SO SHAKE YOURSELF AWAKE * 581 00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:45,424 * ARE YOU WITH ME? ARE YOU WITH ME? * 582 00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:48,427 * ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? 583 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:51,230 - AREN'T YOU GOING TO DIVE IN, JOIN THE FUN? 584 00:28:51,263 --> 00:28:53,032 - I ALREADY TOOK A BATH, BUT IF YOU WANT TO JUMP IN, 585 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,433 I PROMISE I WON'T LOOK. 586 00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:56,235 - YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE. 587 00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:59,972 - HEY, YOU TWO WALLFLOWERS. 588 00:29:00,006 --> 00:29:03,209 COME ON IN, THE SUDS ARE GREAT. 589 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,377 OH, HEY. LOOK WHAT I FOUND. 590 00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:07,113 MY RUBBER DUCKY. 591 00:29:07,146 --> 00:29:10,482 QUACK, QUACK! 592 00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:13,019 - [laughs] 593 00:29:13,052 --> 00:29:14,854 THAT'S PATHETIC. 594 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,323 - I THOUGHT STUDS IN SUDS WAS YOUR FAVORITE CONTACT SPORT. 595 00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:19,558 - WHAT, A BUNCH OF FAGS SLIDING AROUND IN THEIR SHORTS? 596 00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:22,361 - YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO ENJOY YOURSELF WHEN MICHAEL'S HERE. 597 00:29:22,394 --> 00:29:24,831 BUT I GUESS IT'S NOT AS MUCH FUN SCORING 598 00:29:24,864 --> 00:29:27,199 WITHOUT YOUR LITTLE AUDIENCE OF ONE, IS IT? 599 00:29:27,233 --> 00:29:30,536 YOU KNOW, AS THE GREAT FRENCH PHILOSOPHER ROQUEFORT, 600 00:29:30,569 --> 00:29:33,005 OR WHAT WAS IT CAMEMBERT, ONCE SAID, 601 00:29:33,039 --> 00:29:34,874 "IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO TRICK. 602 00:29:34,907 --> 00:29:38,845 YOUR BEST FRIEND MUST ALSO GO HOME ALONE." 603 00:29:38,878 --> 00:29:41,413 - FUCK YOU. 604 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,549 I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT MICHAEL ONCE TONIGHT. 605 00:29:43,582 --> 00:29:47,887 - HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? JUST LIKE WHEN HE'S HERE. 606 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,356 - * ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? * 607 00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:53,993 - UH, UH, UH. 608 00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:55,494 - WASH MY BACK. 609 00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:06,172 - HEY. REMEMBER ME? 610 00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:07,139 - WHY? SHOULD I? 611 00:30:07,173 --> 00:30:10,076 - WE DID IT AT THE BATHS A COUPLE WEEKS AGO. 612 00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:13,412 - I MUST HAVE BEEN VERY DESPERATE. 613 00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:15,281 - FUCK YOU. 614 00:30:15,314 --> 00:30:20,119 [chatter, laughter] 615 00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:23,522 WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 616 00:30:28,494 --> 00:30:32,298 FUCK YOU! 617 00:30:32,331 --> 00:30:34,901 [car stereo playing electronic music] 618 00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:43,342 * 619 00:30:43,375 --> 00:30:46,545 [ejects tape, music stops] 620 00:30:57,123 --> 00:30:58,624 [horn honks] 621 00:30:58,657 --> 00:31:01,460 [other car's engine revs] 622 00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:03,395 [tires screech] 623 00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:09,001 [engine revving] [tires screech] 624 00:31:11,137 --> 00:31:13,940 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU CRAZY FUCK? 625 00:31:23,149 --> 00:31:25,651 [birds chirping] 626 00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:28,087 [passionate moans] 627 00:31:37,363 --> 00:31:38,965 - OH, GOD, THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. 628 00:31:38,998 --> 00:31:40,967 - [chuckles] 629 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,935 AND THEY SAID I'D NEVER BE ANY GOOD AT OUTDOOR SPORTS. 630 00:31:42,969 --> 00:31:45,938 [laughter] 631 00:31:45,972 --> 00:31:49,541 - OH. 632 00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:52,478 - OH, DON'T GO, DON'T GO. 633 00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:55,581 - OKAY, BUT I HAVE TO WARN YOU, A GIRL SCOUT TROOP 634 00:31:55,614 --> 00:31:57,683 COMES THROUGH HERE EVERY DAY. - HOLY SHIT. 635 00:31:57,716 --> 00:31:59,285 - I'M KIDDING. 636 00:31:59,318 --> 00:32:00,686 I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING. 637 00:32:00,719 --> 00:32:05,291 WE CAN STAY HERE FOREVER, IF YOU LIKE. 638 00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:07,593 - I'D LIKE. 639 00:32:11,397 --> 00:32:12,464 YOU KNOW, I WAS REALLY NERVOUS 640 00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:14,633 ABOUT COMING UP HERE THIS WEEKEND. 641 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:17,269 - OH? 642 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:20,372 - BUT IT TURNS OUT I HAD NO REASON TO BE. 643 00:32:20,406 --> 00:32:23,142 - GOOD. 644 00:32:23,175 --> 00:32:27,546 SO WE CAN GO AWAY TOGETHER AGAIN SOMETIME. 645 00:32:27,579 --> 00:32:29,181 - MAYBE. 646 00:32:29,215 --> 00:32:31,517 - YOU EVER BEEN SKIING? - NOT REALLY. 647 00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:33,519 - WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN NEW YORK? 648 00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:34,987 - LIKE, NEVER. 649 00:32:35,021 --> 00:32:37,289 - LONDON? PARIS? THE AMALFI COAST? 650 00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:41,627 - TRY ATLANTIC CITY, 1983. - MICHAEL. MICHAEL. 651 00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:46,198 THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUTSIDE LIBERTY AVENUE. 652 00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:51,670 I'D LIKE TO SHOW IT TO YOU, IF YOU'D LET ME. 653 00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:56,075 BUT FIRST... 654 00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:58,677 WE SWIM. 655 00:32:58,710 --> 00:33:01,080 COME ON. 656 00:33:01,113 --> 00:33:02,748 COME ON. COME ON. 657 00:33:02,781 --> 00:33:06,718 WHEW. WHOA. [laughs] 658 00:33:06,752 --> 00:33:09,255 - I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 659 00:33:09,288 --> 00:33:11,423 [water splashes] 660 00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:14,660 [dialing] 661 00:33:14,693 --> 00:33:20,666 [cell phone ringing] 662 00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:26,372 GUESS WHAT I'M DOING. 663 00:33:26,405 --> 00:33:29,108 - UH, RUBBING PINK STUFF ALL OVER THE POISON IVY YOU GOT 664 00:33:29,141 --> 00:33:31,477 WHEN THAT BEAR CHASED YOU THROUGH THE WOODS. 665 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:34,246 - BASKING IN THE AFTERGLOW OF HAVING JUST MADE LOVE 666 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,049 TO DAVID UNDER A TREE, ASSHOLE. 667 00:33:37,083 --> 00:33:39,785 - THAT SOUNDS LIKE FALCON VIDEO PAC 77: 668 00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:42,121 MAN'S COUNTRY. 669 00:33:42,154 --> 00:33:43,622 - IT WAS INCREDIBLE. 670 00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:45,424 I'VE NEVER HAD SEX OUTDOORS BEFORE. 671 00:33:45,457 --> 00:33:46,525 - SURE, YOU DID. 672 00:33:46,558 --> 00:33:48,660 IN THE BACK ALLEY BEHIND BABYLON. 673 00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:50,396 - I DON'T MEAN THE KIND THAT TAKES FIVE MINUTES 674 00:33:50,429 --> 00:33:51,730 WITH YOUR PANTS AROUND YOUR KNEES 675 00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:53,532 AND YOUR BUTT AGAINST THE BRICKS. 676 00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:58,270 SO HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND? 677 00:33:58,304 --> 00:33:59,738 - DANDY. - YEAH? 678 00:33:59,771 --> 00:34:02,274 HOW WAS STUDS IN SUDS? - BUBBLY. 679 00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:03,809 TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T THERE. 680 00:34:03,842 --> 00:34:05,444 - OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 681 00:34:05,477 --> 00:34:07,546 - NOTHING. - YOU CAN'T FOOL ME. 682 00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:08,580 OUT WITH IT. 683 00:34:08,614 --> 00:34:10,282 - [sighs] ONLY IF YOU PROMISE 684 00:34:10,316 --> 00:34:11,683 YOU WON'T LET IT SPOIL YOUR WEEKEND. 685 00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,485 - MICHAEL, HURRY UP. COME ON, IT'S WARM. 686 00:34:13,519 --> 00:34:16,155 - RIGHT THERE! WHAT? 687 00:34:16,188 --> 00:34:18,157 - I WAS IN AN ACCIDENT, THAT'S ALL. 688 00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:20,559 - WHAT KIND OF ACCIDENT? 689 00:34:20,592 --> 00:34:24,596 - I WOULDN'T FUCK THIS SCUMBAG, SO HE RAMMED MY JEEP... 690 00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:26,165 TWICE. 691 00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:27,499 - CHRIST! ARE YOU OKAY? 692 00:34:27,533 --> 00:34:30,169 - I HAVE A MINOR HEAD WOUND AND A CONCUSSION. 693 00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:32,138 - OH, MY GOD! - NOW, YOU PROMISED 694 00:34:32,171 --> 00:34:33,272 YOU WOULDN'T LET IT SPOIL YOUR WEEKEND, 695 00:34:33,305 --> 00:34:35,407 SO DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT CUTTING YOUR TRIP SHORT 696 00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:37,176 AND COMING BACK HERE. 697 00:34:37,209 --> 00:34:41,147 YOU AND DOC JUST ENJOY YOUR POKE IN THE PINES. 698 00:34:41,180 --> 00:34:44,416 BYE, MIKEY. 699 00:34:46,885 --> 00:34:49,355 - ARE YOU COMING IN? 700 00:34:49,388 --> 00:34:51,623 WHAT-- WHAT'S UP? 701 00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:54,092 - I HAVE TO GO BACK. 702 00:35:00,666 --> 00:35:03,269 [door opens, shuts] 703 00:35:06,372 --> 00:35:09,275 - MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAR? 704 00:35:09,308 --> 00:35:11,477 - SOME ASSHOLE IN A JEEP BACKED INTO ME. 705 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:15,381 - DID--DID YOU GET HIS INFORMATION? 706 00:35:15,414 --> 00:35:16,215 IT WAS DARK, HONEY. 707 00:35:16,248 --> 00:35:19,851 HE DROVE OFF BEFORE I COULD SEE HIM. 708 00:35:19,885 --> 00:35:21,787 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 709 00:35:21,820 --> 00:35:22,921 - OUT. 710 00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:25,624 - NO, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE. 711 00:35:25,657 --> 00:35:27,526 - WHAT, SO NOW I'M A PRISONER? 712 00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:28,760 - I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL, 713 00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:30,929 JUSTIN, YESTERDAY. YOUR PRINCIPAL CALLED. 714 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,764 - SO? 715 00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:35,667 - SO? SO NOW YOU'RE FLAUNTING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF EVERYONE? 716 00:35:35,701 --> 00:35:38,637 - I WAS NOT "FLAUNTING" MYSELF, DAD. 717 00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:40,506 - BESIDES, CHRIS HOBBS IS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT. 718 00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:43,342 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT. 719 00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:45,611 YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK THERE. 720 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:46,778 - WHAT? 721 00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:49,881 - WE'RE SENDING HIM AWAY TO SCHOOL. 722 00:35:49,915 --> 00:35:52,651 IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED SOME DISCIPLINE. 723 00:35:52,684 --> 00:35:54,820 HOW TO BE A MAN. 724 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:57,256 - I KNOW ALL ABOUT DISCIPLINE. 725 00:35:57,289 --> 00:35:59,925 AND YOU SHOULD SEE ME TAKE IT LIKE A MAN. 726 00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:01,560 - [gasps] CRAIG! 727 00:36:01,593 --> 00:36:03,729 - IT'S ALL RIGHT, MOM. IT DIDN'T HURT. 728 00:36:03,762 --> 00:36:06,465 IF YOU WANT TO HIT ME, GO RIGHT AHEAD. 729 00:36:06,498 --> 00:36:09,368 ONLY I'M NOT GOING TO CRY LIKE SOME LITTLE FAGGOT. 730 00:36:09,401 --> 00:36:11,670 AND IF YOU WANT TO SEND ME AWAY, THAT'S ALL RIGHT TOO. 731 00:36:11,703 --> 00:36:14,606 'CAUSE I BET MORE BUTT-FUCKING GOES ON IN BOARDING SCHOOL 732 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,742 THAN IN THE BACK ROOM OF BABYLON. 733 00:36:16,775 --> 00:36:20,812 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, IT'S NOT GOING TO MATTER 734 00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:25,451 'CAUSE I'LL STILL BE YOUR QUEER SON. 735 00:36:28,287 --> 00:36:30,556 - [sighs] 736 00:36:38,864 --> 00:36:41,400 - HAVE SOME TEA. 737 00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:43,269 - AH, IT'S TOO HOT. 738 00:36:43,302 --> 00:36:44,970 - HERE, PUT THIS ICE BAG ON YOUR HEAD. 739 00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:46,838 - THAT'S TOO COLD. 740 00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:49,441 - WHAT ARE YOU, GOLDILOCKS? 741 00:36:49,475 --> 00:36:52,844 - TIME FOR YOUR TEMPERATURE. ROLL OVER! 742 00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:54,846 [laughter] [grunts] 743 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,449 - YOU'RE NOT STICKING THAT THING UP MY ASS. 744 00:36:57,483 --> 00:36:58,917 - JEEZ, THAT ACCIDENT MUST HAVE REALLY JARRED YOUR BRAIN. 745 00:36:58,950 --> 00:37:01,720 IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT. THAT ASSHOLE KEPT RAMMING ME. 746 00:37:01,753 --> 00:37:04,256 - DID YOU GET HIS LICENSE? - IT WAS DARK. 747 00:37:04,290 --> 00:37:05,724 - WHAT KIND OF CAR WAS IT? 748 00:37:05,757 --> 00:37:06,892 - I DON'T KNOW, SOME SILVER THING. 749 00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:09,995 - OH, MY GOD, IT WAS MY DAD. 750 00:37:10,028 --> 00:37:10,862 I KNOW IT. - WHAT? 751 00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:12,898 - I SAW HIS CAR. IT WAS TOTALLY SMASHED. 752 00:37:12,931 --> 00:37:15,601 - HMM, NOW WHY WOULD YOUR FATHER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 753 00:37:15,634 --> 00:37:17,736 - BECAUSE MY MOM TOLD HIM EVERYTHING. 754 00:37:17,769 --> 00:37:20,539 HE WANTS TO HAVE YOU ARRESTED AND SEND ME AWAY. 755 00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:22,274 - DON'T BE A DRAMA PRINCESS. 756 00:37:22,308 --> 00:37:23,675 - YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL, JUST IN CASE. 757 00:37:23,709 --> 00:37:27,346 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, I'M INVINCIBLE. 758 00:37:27,379 --> 00:37:29,348 - YEAH, YOU ALSO GOT A CONCUSSION. 759 00:37:29,381 --> 00:37:31,883 - WELL, FUCK IT. IT'S PARTY TIME. 760 00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:33,619 [dance music] 761 00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:36,488 - * GOOD TIMES OUT ON THE FLOOR * 762 00:37:36,522 --> 00:37:39,758 * GOOD TIMES, GIVE ME SOME MORE * 763 00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:40,692 * GOOD TIMES 764 00:37:40,726 --> 00:37:42,694 - COME ON, TEDDY, SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THANG. 765 00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:45,297 - * GOOD TIMES 766 00:37:45,331 --> 00:37:46,598 * GIVE ME SOME MORE 767 00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:48,600 * COME ON 768 00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:51,537 - HEY, GUYS. JOIN THE PARTY. 769 00:37:54,373 --> 00:37:57,075 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE REALLY HURT. 770 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,345 - I AM. 771 00:37:59,378 --> 00:38:01,046 - MICHAEL INSISTED WE COME RIGHT BACK. 772 00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:02,648 - I TOLD YOU NOT TO. 773 00:38:02,681 --> 00:38:05,984 - I KNOW, BUT... 774 00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:09,388 * 775 00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:13,359 - DON'T GO AFTER HIM, MIKEY. 776 00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:16,662 DON'T EVER GO AFTER ANYONE. 777 00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:26,104 - SORRY. 778 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,840 - FOR WHAT? - BRIAN. 779 00:38:28,874 --> 00:38:32,711 I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE, HIS MANIPULATIONS. 780 00:38:32,744 --> 00:38:35,414 - HE GETS A REAL KICK OUT OF THAT, DOESN'T HE? 781 00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:38,950 YOU KNOW, I SHOULD JUST TURN, WALK AWAY, AND NEVER COME BACK. 782 00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:40,652 - WELL, THAT'S ONE OPTION. 783 00:38:40,686 --> 00:38:42,688 UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU THINK MICHAEL'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR. 784 00:38:42,721 --> 00:38:44,923 WHICH IS WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO. 785 00:38:44,956 --> 00:38:47,559 - THANKS FOR THE ADVICE. 786 00:38:47,593 --> 00:38:50,929 - I LIKE DOING PRO BONO WORK. REMINDS ME I HAVE A HEART. 787 00:38:50,962 --> 00:38:54,533 - WHAT IS IT WITH BRIAN KINNEY? 788 00:38:54,566 --> 00:38:55,934 I MEAN, SURE, HE'S GOOD-LOOKING, 789 00:38:55,967 --> 00:38:57,002 BUT A LOT OF GUYS ARE GOOD-LOOKING. 790 00:38:57,035 --> 00:38:58,404 AND HE'S GOT HIS FUCKING CHARM, 791 00:38:58,437 --> 00:38:59,505 BUT WE ALL HAVE THAT WHEN WE WANT IT. 792 00:38:59,538 --> 00:39:00,672 BUT WHAT IS IT WITH HIM? 793 00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:01,907 - I DON'T KNOW. LINDSAY SAYS IT'S THAT 794 00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:03,575 HE'LL DO ANYTHING, SAY ANYTHING, 795 00:39:03,609 --> 00:39:04,943 FUCK ANYTHING. 796 00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:07,779 NO EXCUSES, NO APOLOGIES, NO REGRETS. 797 00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:10,749 - IN OTHER WORDS, HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT. 798 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,690 [dance music] 799 00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:20,859 - * GET IT OUT ON THE FLOOR * 800 00:39:20,892 --> 00:39:23,629 * 801 00:39:23,662 --> 00:39:25,731 - [inhales] 802 00:39:25,764 --> 00:39:29,435 - * GET IT OUT ON THE FLOOR * 803 00:39:29,468 --> 00:39:32,938 * 804 00:39:32,971 --> 00:39:35,741 * GET IT OUT ON THE FLOOR * 805 00:39:35,774 --> 00:39:40,612 * 806 00:39:40,646 --> 00:39:42,648 - THERE'S DAVID. 807 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:49,888 - [inhales] 808 00:39:49,921 --> 00:39:51,690 IS THERE SOME ROOM ON YOUR DANCE CARD FOR ME? 809 00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:54,493 - SURE. - NOT YOU. 810 00:39:54,526 --> 00:39:56,027 YOU. 811 00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:58,196 * 812 00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:00,599 - WHY, DOC, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK. 813 00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:08,574 * 814 00:40:13,579 --> 00:40:17,916 - MAN, DAVID LOOKS HOT. 815 00:40:17,949 --> 00:40:22,654 - WHY IS HE DANCING WITH BRIAN? 816 00:40:22,688 --> 00:40:30,829 * 817 00:40:32,898 --> 00:40:34,533 - YOU DON'T DANCE HALF BAD. 818 00:40:34,566 --> 00:40:38,203 - I DANCE DAMN GOOD. HAVEN'T DONE IT FOR A WHILE. 819 00:40:38,236 --> 00:40:39,337 - YOU SHOULD GO OUT MORE OFTEN. 820 00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:42,508 - YEAH, WELL, THERE'S NOTHING HERE THAT INTERESTS ME. 821 00:40:42,541 --> 00:40:43,842 - THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE? 822 00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:46,578 - I CAME TO SEE YOU. 823 00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:50,649 YOU KNOW, FOR A GUY THAT WAS ON DEATH'S DOORSTEP, 824 00:40:50,682 --> 00:40:52,050 YOU MADE A REMARKABLE RECOVERY. 825 00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:53,819 - WELL, I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF PRAYER 826 00:40:53,852 --> 00:40:56,121 AND DRUGS. 827 00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:57,255 - I TOLD MIKEY YOU'D BE ALL RIGHT, 828 00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:58,590 BUT HE HAD TO COME RUNNING BACK. 829 00:40:58,624 --> 00:41:00,692 - WHAT CAN I SAY? HE'S A SWEETHEART. 830 00:41:00,726 --> 00:41:02,661 - THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL THAT MATTERS TO HIM. 831 00:41:02,694 --> 00:41:04,630 YOU'RE HIS WORLD, HIS LIFE. 832 00:41:04,663 --> 00:41:06,765 EVERYTHING HE THINKS ABOUT, EVERYTHING HE DREAMS OF, 833 00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:08,800 EVERYTHING HE KNOWS. 834 00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:12,037 - HE'S MY BEST FRIEND, SINCE WE WERE 14. 835 00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:13,872 - THAT'S 16 YEARS OF WAITING. 836 00:41:13,905 --> 00:41:16,141 HE'S BEEN WAITING SO LONG, HE ACTUALLY THINKS HE'S HAPPY. 837 00:41:16,174 --> 00:41:17,976 BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT HE'S NEVER GOING TO GET 838 00:41:18,009 --> 00:41:21,813 WHAT HE REALLY WANTS, IS HE? 839 00:41:21,847 --> 00:41:24,049 - AND WHAT IS THAT, DOC? 840 00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:27,853 - FOR YOU TO FUCK HIM. 841 00:41:27,886 --> 00:41:29,187 AND DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW IT, 842 00:41:29,220 --> 00:41:31,122 AND YOU LOVE KNOWING IT, DON'T YOU? 843 00:41:31,156 --> 00:41:32,858 - YOU'VE BEEN AROUND FOR WHAT, A WEEK? 844 00:41:32,891 --> 00:41:36,261 YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM? 845 00:41:38,630 --> 00:41:42,868 YOU DON'T. 846 00:41:42,901 --> 00:41:45,303 - I'D LIKE TO. 847 00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:48,807 BUT I NEVER WILL, AS LONG AS YOU'RE AROUND. 848 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,077 MAYBE I SHOULD JUST DISAPPEAR. 849 00:41:52,110 --> 00:41:54,079 YOU'D PROBABLY LIKE THAT, 850 00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:56,882 AND HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT IT. 851 00:41:56,915 --> 00:41:59,317 BUT I'M NOT GOING TO. 852 00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:01,887 I'M NOT GOING TO DISAPPEAR. 853 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,990 BECAUSE I WANT HIM... 854 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:09,160 EVEN MORE THAN YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HAVE HIM. 855 00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:11,830 SO IF YOU'RE REALLY HIS BEST FRIEND, 856 00:42:11,863 --> 00:42:14,900 GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO BE HAPPY. 857 00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:16,802 TO HAVE A LIFE. 858 00:42:16,835 --> 00:42:19,805 HIS OWN LIFE. 859 00:42:21,206 --> 00:42:24,776 LET HIM GO. 860 00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:27,779 [tense techno music] 861 00:42:27,813 --> 00:42:35,787 * 862 00:43:16,962 --> 00:43:19,931 [driving techno music] 863 00:43:19,965 --> 00:43:27,906 * 61310

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