Original subtitles

[eerie music]

(male narrator) There is a Fifth dimension

Beyond that which Is known to man.

It is a dimension As vast as space

And as timeless As infinity.

It is the middle ground Between light and shadow

Between science And superstition

And it lies between The pit of man's fears,

And the summit Of his knowledge.

This is the dimension Of imagination.

It is an area Which we call The twilight zone.

[coin clinks]

[someone dials A phone]

[sighs]

[busy signal]

Telephone--you Have a telephone?

Thank you.

[dialing again]

[busy signal]

Oh, this Is madness.

It's impossible To make a call In New York.

You can say That again.

Thank you.

This is An outrage!

He's making Another call!

It's only His fifth.

He doesn't Even talk.

He just dials.

Maybe he's got A dialect, huh?

(male narrator) Mr. Roger Shackleforth--

Age, youthful twenties.

Occupation, being in love.

Not just in love, But madly, passionately

Illogically, miserably, All-consumingly in love

With a young woman Named Leila

Who has a vague Recollection of his face

And even less Than a passing interest.

In a moment you'll See a switch,

Because Mr. Roger Shackleforth

The young gentleman So much in love

Will take a short, But very meaningful journey

Into the twilight zone.

[busy signai]

Oh, I simply Can't stand this!

I must get In there next.

I will buy your place. A dollar.

Oh! Sold.

Thank you.

Sir. A dollar For your place.

Thank you.

Madame. A Dollar for Your place.

Why should first Place be the same As the third?

Two dollars.

Two dollars? Very good.

There you are. Thank you.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Hello, Leila darling, It's Roger.

Oh.

Hello, Roger. [sigh]

What is it?

May I come to see you?

Uh, no, no, I can't.

I couldn't bear To see anybody.

I'm a mess.

Oh, you could Never be a mess.

Listen, darling, I have to see you.

Roger, it's impossible.

I must see you, Darling, must!

Furiously, fiercely must!

[whispers] I love you.

Roger, you've got To stop this.

You're acting Like a baby.

I can't see you now, And that's that.

Well, then, talk to me.

Say something, say anything!

Say something?

All right, Roger, I'll say something.

Why don't you take A flying jump at The moon?

There now, you've Finished, haven't you?

No, she hung Up on me.

I've got To call her back.

No, I have An emergency.

Well, so have I.

It won't do Any good to call.

I understand Your problem.

I heard it Through the door.

Here's the Way to solve Your problem.

Look, go and see This man right now.

Believe me, there Is no other way.

That man will help you.

No--

No, excuse me. Go and see him now

And your problems Will be solved.

Thank you, Thank you.

It's an emergency!

[slams door]

[loud bell rings]

All right, All right.

Stop skulking around!

I--I wasn't skulking.

I just didn't Know if, uh--

Common enough disease, Not knowing if.

Sit down on that Pile of books there.

Do I know you?

No, sir.

As a matter of fact--

Then you haven't Come for a bottle Of the glove cleaner?

Glove cleaner?

No.

As a matter Of fact--

Well, perhaps Another time.

As a matter Of fact...

You keep saying that!

Come to the point!

I don't know Why I came at all.

You see, a man gave Me your card, A stranger.

Oh, yes, satisfied former Customer, most likely.

But I don't know Why I came.

I was sitting there--

Of course you know Why you came!

You want What I've got!

But I don't know What you've got.

Ointments, salves, Powders, sovereign remedies,

Nectars, lotus blossoms, Toxins, tonics,

Anti-toxins, decoctions, Concoctions and potions--

All guaranteed.

Oh.

I don't need Anything like that.

Well, you m ust, You're here.

Yes, but I don't Need any medicine.

You certain ly Need something.

You look feverish.

Oh, well, it's sort Of... You know...

Nothing.

"Nothing" I Don't supply.

"Something" is My specialty.

"Anything" is what You can get here.

You're ambitious, Is that it?

You want success, Money, admirers,

The world at your feet.

No, that's Not it at all.

Power! You want power.

No, you don't understand.

All I want is Leila.

Leila?

Yes, if I have Leila

I can do all The rest myself.

Leila.

I might have known.

All he wants Is Leila.

I offer him Practically anything

And all he wants Is Leila.

And I guess There's nothing

You can do About that!

That's the simplest of all--

The elementary Parlor trick Of my science.

You disappoint me.

No, you Don't understand.

You see, I'm in love

With somebody Named Leila

But she's not in Love with me, and...

I don't know why I'm telling you this.

I do. I can arrange it So she'll love you.

How?

I promise you

She'll never leave Your side.

When she isn't telling You she loves you,

She'll be gazing At you lovingly.

She won't even eat Before you do

And nothing Will be too much

For you To ask of her.

She'll worship you, She'll beg for kisses

And weep for joy At your touch.

And if in passing time

You should perhaps Look at another girl

Or even do a little More than look

She'll feel hurt, But she'll forgive you

And love you Just the same.

Frankly, you'd Get the same shake

From a cocker spaniel.

But that's wonderful!

That's all in The world I want--

My Leila's love.

His Leila's love.

If it isn't His Leila's love

It's his Dorothy's love,

His Rhea's love, Or his Gwen's love.

Tell me, are you sure You wouldn't be interested

In the glove cleaner, As I call it?

There are Many names for it

Including "The Eradicator."

But "Glove cleaner"

Is a nice, Non-descriptive title.

Clean, colorless, tasteless

Unidentifiable and sure.

I'm not interested In glove cleaners.

Why not?

It's sure, it's swift, Leaves no traces.

It's perfect For its purpose.

I don't think you're Making any sense.

My boy, That's all I make.

Which is why I'm Such a lonely man.

You're sure you Don't want to try

The glove cleaner?

It's very expensive.

Perhaps you Can't afford it.

For instance this Little bottle Costs $1,000.

$1,000? Are all your Prices like that?

Some are, Some aren't.

Yeah, but That thing

That's gonna Make Leila love me.

Oh, that.

That's only A dollar.

A dollar?

Love potions are My cheapest item.

And they're Overpriced at that.

A dollar for My Leila's love?

It won't hurt her?

If anybody gets hurt, It'll be you.

But I don't expect You to believe me.

Put it in anything--

Her drink, juice, soup, Coffee, water, anything.

You'll get exactly What you say you want.

Well, I don't Really believe this But I'll try it.

Why, I'll try anything.

Thanks, professor.

You know, if this Works, I'll be--

(both) The happiest man In the world.

[doorbell buzzes]

Hello, Leila.

Roger, I told you I was busy tonight.

Well, just a minute, Just a little minute.

Flowers, see?

That's very nice, Roger, thank you.

Now if you'll Just run along.

I couldn't have Lasted the evening

Without seeing You, Leila.

You don't know what it's Like to love somebody

To love anybody so much And so desperately.

Look, champagne--

Just enough For two glasses.

That's not Asking much.

Just spare me Five minutes

And have one Drink with me.

Roger, you are Acting like a clod--

A silly, stupid, Sophomoric clod.

I love you.

Stop saying that. I--

All right.

One drink.

Five minutes, And then you go.

I've got to put On my dress.

It's like...

It's like millennium.

Well, let's get This over with.

Well, your time's up.

Thank you very much

For the flowers And the champagne.

Now, goodbye, Roger.

Excellent champagne, Wasn't it?

It'll pass.

What are you Looking at me Like that for?

Well, perhaps It's my last look.

All right, You've had it.

One last Little kiss?

Roger, please, Let's not prolong This any longer.

I haven't the time.

Now please go.

Now!

I don't love you.

I don't want you here.

I don't even like You at the moment.

Now please go!

Oh!

Here.

That's the best I can do.

And that took All my strength.

Roger...

Wait a minute.

Perhaps I am Being cruel.

I don't mean to be.

I know.

Roger!

Let me--make it A little nicer.

What's happening?

What difference?

Come here, baby.

[shrieks]

Leila, couldn't You please sit In a chair?

Oh, yes, my Darling husband.

Oh, I'm sorry If it bothers you,

It's just that I love to kneel At your feet.

Well, kneel In a chair.

Okay.

Which chair, darling?

Uh, any chair, It doesn't matter.

Darling, do you want Your slippers now?

No, they make My feet hot.

Oh, well, if your Feet are hot now

I could soak my Hands in ice water

And then caress them.

No, no, my feet Are fine.

All right.

Darling, don't you want To smoke your pipe?

No, it bites My tongue.

It's not broken In very well.

Oh, well, I'd be happy

To break It in for you.

I could smoke It all day while You're at the office

And then when You came home--

Thanks, Leila, But no thanks.

You're welcome.

Oh, darling--

Oh, darling, I'm sorry.

I'll get a cigarette For you

In just a minute.

Just one minute.

There.

I should have Put cigarettes

In that box By your chair.

Here.

There we go.

Thank you.

Would you like Me to rub your Back, darling?

You just finished Rubbing my back.

I know, But I adore Touching you

And I'd be glad To rub it again.

No, thanks, Leila.

Am I disturbing Your reading?

No, no.

Did I disturb you By asking you

If I was Disturbing you?

[impatientiy] No.

No, no, dearest, Not at all.

Oh, Roger.

I love you, Roger.

I'm so happy You're you.

You're just perfect.

I love to say "I love you."

I love to love you.

Leila, I've got To go out.

Out. I've got An appointment.

I almost forgot.

Darling... Will you be long?

I don't know. I may be late.

Would you like Me to go, too?

No! No, I Won't be late.

Why don't you stay here And hug my jacket Or something?

Is anything wrong, Roger, darling?

No, dearest, I've Got an appointment.

While you're gone,

My love will grow And grow

And when you Get back...

[laughs nervously]

Uh...

Hi, there, professor.

Ah, yes, I've been Expecting you.

You have?

Yes, I rather thought

You'd like to hear How things turned out.

I know how Things turned out.

That potion sure works.

I know, I know.

How are things With you?

Things haven't changed With me in years.

Pretty ugly situation We've got...

With China, Don't you think?

You don't look So good, either.

Me? Oh, I'm Fine, fine.

I just dropped Around to tell you

That things Are fine.

I'm glad to hear it.

Ah, glove Cleaner, huh?

Say, do you sell Much of that stuff?

Now and again.

By the way, What's in it?

No trace, no odor, No taste.

No way to detect Its presence.

And it's sure.

$1,000.

That's what you Came for, isn't it?

Me? No, not at all.

Painless?

It's perfect For its purpose.

The only thing Of its kind In the world.

Interesting.

She loves you As I said She would,

Doesn't she?

A constant love. And nothing you

Can do to her Will change it.

She worships And adores you

And hangs on Your every word.

Yes, yes, she does.

$1,000.

I am going out Of my everloving mind.

I can't stand It anymore!

Naturally.

Isn't there some way we Can quiet it down?

No.

Isn't there some potion That'll transfer some Of this love

To someone else? Like a cocker spaniel?

Not a chance. She's yours.

She's so nice to me. She's so very good.

I know.

The glove cleaner Is the only way.

Well, I can't do that.

Uh, there must Be another way.

This is the way.

The only way.

$1,000.

You don't know What it's like.

All the time-- Love, love, love.

I do know What it's like.

How do you think

I came to invent The glove cleaner?

But that's All my savings!

I know. It's Always that way.

No trace, no odor, No taste.

No way to detect.

All right.

Ah, all Made out, eh?

One thing I must Caution you about.

You must use It immediately, Hear me?

And you must Use it all.

Why, will it spoil?

No, but you will.

Once you delay, You're lost.

If you fail the first Time you try to use it

You'll never have Courage to use it Again. Never.

Goodbye, professor.

Farewell.

Always the same way.

First the stimulant...

Then the chaser.

My darling!

Woo! Party.

I thought we Ought to have A party.

After all, it Isn't everybody That's been married

Six months Like this.

Darling, what A lovely surprise.

When you went out You said you might Be late,

And instead you come Back with champagne And flowers!

Glasses. Can't Have a party Without glasses.

It's just like The first time.

Only this time you Don't have to beg To stay.

Yeah, later. Listen, why don't You sit over there

And I'll bring it To you. Over there.

Alright.

Oh, darling, Would you like To have candlelight?

It's so romantic. Let's Have candlelight, huh?

Sure. Sure. Candlelight, Shmandlelight, anything.

Oh, darling, it's So wonderful being Married to you.

I've never been So completely happy

In my whole life.

I've lived just To love you.

Only you.

That's nice.

Sweetest, how Did you happen

To think Of the champagne?

It just came To me.

I remember The first time

You brought Me champagne--

How you looked.

Your eyes were Filled with love.

And you watched me Drink, and so sadly

Because you thought It was going to be

Our last Drink, remember?

I remember.

Lover, lover, Marshmallow, come here.

Come sit next To your Leila. Come on.

Oh!

There you go.

Oh!

Baby bunny.

I've got news for you, Sweet little rabbit.

Rabbit.

Oh!

Oh, darling, we won't Worry about it.

We don't Need champagne.

We've got each other.

It's all right. I couldn't Have done it.

I couldn't have Gone through With it.

I could never have Gone through with it.

Just think Of it, darling.

This is only The beginning.

We'll be like this for The rest of our lives.

Won't we?

The rest of our lives.

(male narrator) Mr. Roger Shackleforth,

Who has discovered At this late date

That love can be as sticky As a vat of molasses,

As unpalatable as a hunk Of spoiled yeast,

And as all-consuming As a six-alarm fire

In a bamboo and canvas tent.

Case history of a lover boy

Who should Never have entered The twilight zone.

(male announcer) Rod Serling, the Creator of twilight zone,

Will tell you about Next week's story

After this word from Our alternate sponsor.

And now, Mr. Serling.

Next week, you'll Stand in this alley

At the shoulder Of Jack Klugman,

Who plays the role Of a trumpet player

Who has run out of music And run out of dreams.

"Poignant" is the best word For Mr. Klugman's performance.

Next week on The twilight zone, "A Passage for Trumpet."

I think they're Unusual notes indeed.

We hope you'll be Listening to them.

Thank you And good night.

[curtain music]

(male presenter, off) Be sure to see the Fun-filled family life

Of one of America's Greatest entertainers.

The Danny Thomas show.

Monday nights Over most of These stations.