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1
00:03:56,542 --> 00:03:58,042
Hiya, Michael.
2
00:04:00,875 --> 00:04:02,375
You ok?
3
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,792
- Hello, daddy.
- Hello.
4
00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:10,583
You been a good boy? Huh?
5
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:16,167
Hiya, Deirdre.
6
00:04:16,292 --> 00:04:17,792
He's been very quiet.
7
00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:22,250
As good as gold really,
but didn't want to finish his tea.
8
00:04:22,375 --> 00:04:24,375
Why didn't you eat
what Deirdre gave you, huh?
9
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500
I was waiting for you.
10
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:30,583
Here. Sit down here.
11
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,667
Mmm?
12
00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:36,708
Sure. I'll get that.
13
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,542
I hope I put everything
where you like it.
14
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:42,500
Anyway, you can let me know
next time.
15
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:46,458
Social services said they want me
to come again next week.
16
00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:49,167
Cheers.
Er... I'm sure it's grand.
17
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,625
Well, that's me.
18
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:57,750
Bye, Michael.
And don't tire your dad.
19
00:04:57,875 --> 00:04:59,958
- Michael?
- Bye.
20
00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:01,250
Thank you, Deirdre.
21
00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:03,833
No problem.
22
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:12,333
Can we play now?
23
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:17,500
Shall we have some grapes first?
Yeah?
24
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,750
Five.
25
00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:48,542
Someone at school
is not washing their hair.
26
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,417
Five.
27
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,250
"'Come down, come down, '
his father cried.
28
00:05:57,375 --> 00:06:00,958
"'You'ii be much safer by my side.
29
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,250
Page.
30
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:13,167
"But then the crowd below cheered loud
to see a turtle touch a cloud.
31
00:06:13,292 --> 00:06:17,042
"They'd never seen a boy so brave.
32
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,333
"He gave his dad a little wave."
33
00:06:20,458 --> 00:06:21,875
Page.
34
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:28,042
"And when he reached the other side
35
00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:31,917
"his father's heart was full of pride.
36
00:06:32,917 --> 00:06:36,042
"'Come look, ' he called to everyone.
37
00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:40,083
"'That tightrope turtle...
That's my son.'"
38
00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:41,708
again.
39
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:46,000
Come on, Michael, it's late.
It's bedtime.
40
00:06:55,875 --> 00:07:01,708
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord my soul to keep.
41
00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:08,750
May god guard me through the night
and wake me with the morning light.
42
00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:11,708
- Amen.
- Amen.
43
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,167
Good night, Michael.
44
00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:36,875
Listen, Sam's mummy
will pick you up from school.
45
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,250
You can take his puppy
for a walk.
46
00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:42,417
I want a puppy.
47
00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:48,875
Please don't play with the food.
48
00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:52,375
I'll get you some coco pops tomorrow.
49
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:55,500
And just try and finish the orange juice.
50
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,792
- Thank you so much.
- Hello, Owen.
51
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:23,542
Good morning, miss Rose.
52
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:27,917
Have fun, Michael,
and pay attention to miss Rose.
53
00:10:28,958 --> 00:10:33,208
- Bye, mummy.
- Bye now, boys. See you later.
54
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,167
- Bye.
- Bye, chicken. See you later.
55
00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:38,458
Where's my mummy?
56
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:45,333
I've told you, Michael,
she had to go away.
57
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:47,708
Far, far away?
58
00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:49,250
Yes.
59
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,500
Far, far away.
60
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:56,458
Kiss.
61
00:11:01,292 --> 00:11:02,792
Hi, Michael.
62
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:07,542
See you in there.
63
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:20,292
I'm sure she'll love that.
Have you put the books in your bag?
64
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:21,583
Yes, mummy.
65
00:11:26,292 --> 00:11:28,875
Yeah, the commute
can be difficult sometimes,
66
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,750
but it's worth it though
when you come back to this every night.
67
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:35,917
Peace and quiet,
surrounded by greenery.
68
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,083
Does he like nature?
69
00:11:39,542 --> 00:11:42,042
We're very outdoorsy people.
70
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:45,208
We like to go for long walks,
as you can see.
71
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,000
We were thinking
about maybe getting a dog?
72
00:11:52,292 --> 00:11:56,375
I know Michael would love a puppy,
to be responsible for.
73
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,750
That's great.
74
00:11:57,875 --> 00:12:01,042
We sort of hope the boy would enjoy
the same childhood as ourselves,
75
00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:03,000
not just inside on the computer all day.
76
00:12:03,125 --> 00:12:07,125
And here he's free to run around,
not be mollycoddled,
77
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,792
free to climb trees
and fall out of trees.
78
00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:14,042
I mean, we will look after him obviously,
but you know what I mean.
79
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,292
No, I'm... I'm sure he'll love
to climb trees.
80
00:12:18,542 --> 00:12:22,625
He's a... he's a quiet wee boy, but he
listens and he's always well-behaved.
81
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:27,750
He's very popular at school. I'm
always being told what a great kid he is.
82
00:12:28,542 --> 00:12:31,292
He's loving... caring.
83
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,667
He... he's a happy wee boy.
84
00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:40,208
I, er... I want...
85
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:50,583
He deserves a normal family,
two parents, a loving family home
86
00:12:50,708 --> 00:12:53,042
and all the opportunities
I never had as a child.
87
00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:56,417
Oh!
88
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,022
You bang your head?
Are you all right?
89
00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:00,667
- I'm all right.
- You sure?
90
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:03,958
I want him to be able to do
all the things I never could.
91
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,417
Never even thought of.
92
00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:08,542
We understand that.
93
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:11,167
We've painted one of the rooms blue,
94
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,708
but if he didn't like it,
we could always change it.
95
00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:16,500
And, of course, we can afford
the best education for our son.
96
00:13:18,583 --> 00:13:20,417
I mean, your son.
97
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:25,667
As you know, Celia's a nursery teacher.
We could get him into her school.
98
00:13:25,792 --> 00:13:28,708
And perhaps later on, he could attend
my own boarding school.
99
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:31,542
They're very keen
on having children of alumni.
100
00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:38,125
Well, yeah, but, er...
He's doing well where he is.
101
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:42,000
And, er... you know, it's not far.
He's got friends, so...
102
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:45,625
Oh, of course.
We... we'd follow your guidance.
103
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:48,625
And what does he know
of your situation?
104
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,667
Nothing.
The less he knows the better.
105
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,667
And the birth mother?
106
00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:57,792
There is no birth mother.
107
00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:01,375
Can you see?
Can you see the bugs?
108
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,333
Can you see the bugs in there?
109
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,000
What about in the future,
110
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:10,042
what would you like your son
to know about you?
111
00:14:10,167 --> 00:14:11,833
To remember?
112
00:14:13,375 --> 00:14:17,542
What would you like your...
The new family to...?
113
00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:24,875
I'm a window cleaner.
114
00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,750
One, two, three,
115
00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,958
six, seven, twelve,
fifteen, fourteen.
116
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:55,458
Just think, Michael,
all those lorries,
117
00:14:55,583 --> 00:14:58,583
taking so many things
to so many places.
118
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:03,667
And all those cars
with people going to work,
119
00:15:03,792 --> 00:15:06,792
or to see their friends, far away.
120
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:14,000
One day, Michael, would you like
to live somewhere else,
121
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:16,958
in a different town,
a different home?
122
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:20,292
I like home.
123
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,583
I don't want him
to think about it...
124
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:47,750
To understand death.
125
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:50,708
Not now, not yet.
126
00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:55,208
He's... he's just too young.
127
00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,208
He'll think it'll happen again,
128
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:01,667
to his new family,
all those around him.
129
00:17:04,042 --> 00:17:08,208
He'll be left thinking that he
will die, too. I mean, you know...
130
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,833
What kind of childhood is that?
131
00:17:10,958 --> 00:17:14,208
John, a memory box is different.
132
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,333
He won't need one now,
but he will need it
133
00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:19,417
and his new parents will too.
134
00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:27,792
You know, John, there might come a time
when he thinks about you every day
135
00:17:27,917 --> 00:17:31,958
and he'll need something to start with,
physical, real,
136
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,000
to connect with and build on.
137
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:36,875
Build on?
138
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:41,500
Is that from a manual?
Have you just passed the exam?
139
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,375
John, please. Shona's right.
140
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:47,000
Maybe not now, but later.
141
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:48,625
And certainly when he's eighteen
142
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:51,268
and he has the right to find out for
himself who his birth parents were.
143
00:17:51,292 --> 00:17:53,958
Why does he have to know
he was adopted?
144
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:58,500
We will find him a family
that will be his family, his only family.
145
00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:01,125
He won't even have to remember
how useless his parents were.
146
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:04,083
His mother leaves him
and then his father dies.
147
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:07,792
I mean, that...
That would definitely fuck him up.
148
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,500
Oh, Michael, it's early.
149
00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:54,542
Michael, I told you not to draw
in the books.
150
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,417
What's mrs Donnelly at the library
gonna say?
151
00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:40,750
Here, where do we put it?
You choose.
152
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:44,458
That's good. Let me show you.
Give it a big push.
153
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:51,458
I'm winning!
154
00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:37,657
Don't you just hate them?
155
00:21:37,708 --> 00:21:40,625
They leave their dogs
in the garden, loose,
156
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:43,417
but they still expect their mail,
dontthey?
157
00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:48,625
And then they complain if something's
late, or god forbid, goes missing.
158
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:51,917
Them and their bloody dogs.
159
00:21:52,042 --> 00:21:53,792
A menace.
160
00:21:53,917 --> 00:21:55,958
And then, they come at you
and they bite you.
161
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,458
It's like you're their bit of fun
for the day.
162
00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:01,958
- The small ones are the worst, aren't they?
- Mmm.
163
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:03,792
Look at that, Michael.
164
00:22:04,792 --> 00:22:07,250
Right through my trousers.
165
00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,375
Always watch out for dogs, Michael.
166
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:11,917
You never know
what they feel like biting next.
167
00:22:12,042 --> 00:22:14,042
Michael loves dogs.
168
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,833
He knows a very nice puppy.
169
00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:19,875
Er... would you like
some more cake, John?
170
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000
It's great, isn't it?
She made it herself.
171
00:22:22,125 --> 00:22:24,375
None of those old preservatives.
172
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,208
Thank you, no. It was delicious.
173
00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:28,042
Er... shona, would you?
174
00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:30,250
Oh, thank you, Pam,
I really couldn't.
175
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:33,958
Michael, would you like
a wee bit more of Pam's cake?
176
00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:36,292
Ah, well...
177
00:22:36,417 --> 00:22:39,833
I'd better have a wee bit more myself then,
before the rabbit gets to it.
178
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:42,125
Dad, rabbits don't eat cake.
179
00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:45,583
I'm sure Michael knows I'm onlyjoking,
don't you, Michael?
180
00:22:47,792 --> 00:22:50,708
And you've been fostering
for three years now, is that right?
181
00:22:50,833 --> 00:22:54,042
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but it's been tough, you know?
182
00:22:54,167 --> 00:23:00,917
It's... hard letting go of the idea
of being pregnant.
183
00:23:01,042 --> 00:23:03,042
You know, you want people
to make a fuss over you,
184
00:23:03,167 --> 00:23:06,125
you want to get the...
The baby room ready, you know?
185
00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:10,500
And it lingers in your mind
and you feel this pain
186
00:23:11,083 --> 00:23:14,042
watching other mothers
with their babies.
187
00:23:15,292 --> 00:23:18,875
Every month you feel like you...
You've failed as a woman.
188
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,417
No.
189
00:23:21,792 --> 00:23:23,208
Sorry, John.
190
00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:27,667
I'm sure you know life doesn't always
work out the way you mean it to.
191
00:23:32,625 --> 00:23:37,458
So I thought that maybe I was put on this
earth to look after other people's children.
192
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,917
- And when Anne was... six?
- Seven.
193
00:23:40,042 --> 00:23:42,375
Seven, we started fostering.
194
00:23:44,917 --> 00:23:46,958
How was it for you, Anne?
Did you enjoy?
195
00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:50,583
Oh, she took to it straight
away, didn't you? Didn't you, pet?
196
00:23:50,708 --> 00:23:52,958
Like a duck to water.
197
00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:57,708
But sometimes it's sad to see them go,
you know?
198
00:23:58,417 --> 00:24:00,667
Now we don't want to say goodbye
to any more.
199
00:24:00,792 --> 00:24:04,375
We both made our mistakes,
but we found someone special
200
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:07,042
and we'll be... we'll be together forever,
won't we?
201
00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:10,247
They're still holding hands when they're
together shopping. It's embarrassing.
202
00:24:10,792 --> 00:24:13,042
That might be somewhat true.
203
00:24:13,167 --> 00:24:14,667
We do nearly everything together.
204
00:24:14,792 --> 00:24:17,059
If I get up in the middle of the night
to go to the bathroom,
205
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:19,417
she comes with me,
keeps me company.
206
00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,042
- So I go for a piss...
- Dad!
207
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:23,167
Why would you tell them that?
What will they think?
208
00:24:23,292 --> 00:24:25,125
- What, he doesn't piss?
- Dad!
209
00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:27,250
Don't mind him.
210
00:24:27,375 --> 00:24:31,750
Now... look, your child
will be part of a big family.
211
00:24:31,875 --> 00:24:33,958
All good people, real people.
212
00:24:35,292 --> 00:24:39,042
You wanna stick to your own,
people that respect you,
213
00:24:39,167 --> 00:24:41,750
not people who talk down to you.
You know what I mean, John?
214
00:24:42,542 --> 00:24:44,042
I know what you mean.
215
00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:46,500
Postman, sure.
216
00:24:46,625 --> 00:24:48,958
You know, it's...
Nobody writes letters anymore
217
00:24:49,083 --> 00:24:52,250
and I'm sure they're gonna do away
with us pretty soon,
218
00:24:52,375 --> 00:24:56,042
replaced by a flying drone
or something.
219
00:24:56,167 --> 00:24:59,833
And what will all those dogs bite then,
eh, Michael? Eh?
220
00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:23,125
Did you like the rabbit, Michael?
221
00:25:27,167 --> 00:25:29,917
Wouldn't you like a rabbit
to look after?
222
00:25:32,042 --> 00:25:34,125
I want a puppy.
223
00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:55,958
Almost done.
224
00:25:56,083 --> 00:25:59,917
Thank you, mrs McDonagh. You
really didn't have to go to the trouble.
225
00:26:00,042 --> 00:26:03,042
No trouble.
You need your strength.
226
00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:06,167
And what else would I be doing
with myself?
227
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:37,167
Here's your special,
just as you like it.
228
00:26:37,292 --> 00:26:39,458
Thank you very much.
229
00:26:41,625 --> 00:26:43,708
Kim.
230
00:26:43,833 --> 00:26:47,083
Here you go. Good girl.
231
00:26:49,917 --> 00:26:52,833
You know, John, these people,
they may be a bit know-it-all,
232
00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:55,458
but they are professionals.
233
00:26:58,167 --> 00:27:01,000
Er... you know,
if they say that you should...
234
00:27:01,125 --> 00:27:03,458
And what am I meant to tell him?
235
00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:09,625
That I'm... in heaven,
sitting next to god?
236
00:27:09,750 --> 00:27:11,333
The same god who did this?
237
00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:17,875
Well... you know,
my mother believed in it, an afterlife.
238
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:22,000
But none of your
"dust to dust" stuff for her.
239
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:26,875
"We are air not earth,"
she would say.
240
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,250
"And we're always there, after.
241
00:27:30,375 --> 00:27:34,792
"Our spirit, our energy,
is in the air."
242
00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:42,708
You know, I used to, er... make fun of her,
of her ideas, when I was young.
243
00:27:44,250 --> 00:27:48,667
But you know, she was right.
244
00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:55,708
And now she comes back to me
in all sorts of ways.
245
00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:00,750
She sits on my bed
at night and we talk.
246
00:28:01,667 --> 00:28:03,917
And she's very peaceful.
247
00:28:04,042 --> 00:28:08,583
I mean, she-she doesn't talk
with her mouth or anything.
248
00:28:09,208 --> 00:28:11,875
But we... but we talk.
249
00:28:33,375 --> 00:28:36,542
- Hi, John. Come on in.
- Hi, Judy. Hello, grace.
250
00:28:36,667 --> 00:28:39,583
Grace, say hello to Michael's daddy.
251
00:28:39,708 --> 00:28:41,708
Sorry. Come on in.
252
00:28:42,833 --> 00:28:44,333
Good girl.
253
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:51,083
Er... I am sorry. It hasn't been
the best of playdates.
254
00:28:51,208 --> 00:28:54,375
Michael, your daddy's here.
255
00:28:58,083 --> 00:29:01,250
What are you doing
under the table, Michael?
256
00:29:01,375 --> 00:29:03,708
We didn't feel like playing today.
257
00:29:08,250 --> 00:29:10,083
And we weren't very nice.
258
00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:12,958
We didn't say nice things
to grace, did we?
259
00:29:14,250 --> 00:29:15,500
Michael?
260
00:29:16,792 --> 00:29:18,625
You're late.
261
00:29:21,042 --> 00:29:22,292
I'm sorry.
262
00:29:24,708 --> 00:29:26,208
Can we go now?
263
00:29:34,542 --> 00:29:38,542
And can you say sorry to grace and to Judy
for not being nice?
264
00:29:38,667 --> 00:29:39,833
Sorry.
265
00:29:39,958 --> 00:29:41,958
It's ok, Michael.
266
00:29:45,375 --> 00:29:50,042
Don't worry about it.
It must be... difficult.
267
00:29:50,167 --> 00:29:51,833
Cheers, Judy.
268
00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:53,792
And thank you, grace.
269
00:29:57,958 --> 00:29:59,292
Thank you, grace.
270
00:29:59,417 --> 00:30:03,417
You are welcome, Michael.
And you come again anytime you want, ok?
271
00:30:04,583 --> 00:30:07,667
- Come on. See you.
- See you at school.
272
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:19,917
Are we gonna see
any more new friends?
273
00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:25,000
Not today.
274
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,333
Put your belt on.
275
00:30:40,292 --> 00:30:41,792
Daddy.
276
00:30:52,292 --> 00:30:53,958
What is it?
277
00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:56,667
- What did you find?
- It doesn't go.
278
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,833
It's a beetle, Michael.
279
00:31:08,958 --> 00:31:10,958
It's dead.
280
00:31:11,083 --> 00:31:13,167
It can't walk anymore.
281
00:31:14,083 --> 00:31:15,917
Make it go.
282
00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:20,083
I can't. It's dead.
283
00:31:23,167 --> 00:31:26,458
When a beetle dies,
its body doesn't work anymore.
284
00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:32,250
It stops moving.
And eating. And playing.
285
00:31:32,375 --> 00:31:33,875
Why?
286
00:31:36,917 --> 00:31:38,417
Because...
287
00:31:42,208 --> 00:31:47,708
Because like all the animals
and the plants,
288
00:31:47,833 --> 00:31:50,667
all the living things,
289
00:31:50,792 --> 00:31:54,625
it was born
and lived a happy life
290
00:31:54,750 --> 00:31:58,750
and... then it got old
and it died.
291
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:01,875
And when it died,
it left its body behind,
292
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,000
its wee legs, its head,
its tummy, all empty.
293
00:32:07,250 --> 00:32:10,167
But the beetle really
isn't there anymore, it's...
294
00:32:10,292 --> 00:32:12,292
It's just its body.
295
00:32:16,625 --> 00:32:18,458
Is it sad?
296
00:32:20,667 --> 00:32:24,917
No, Michael, it's not sad, it's...
297
00:32:26,417 --> 00:32:29,667
It's... it's just not there.
298
00:32:32,208 --> 00:32:34,875
- Ice cream!
- Ice cream!
299
00:33:18,542 --> 00:33:20,333
Oi!
300
00:33:20,458 --> 00:33:23,125
I'm not paying you to sleep up there.
301
00:33:23,250 --> 00:33:25,250
You missed that corner.
302
00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:27,750
Sir, I haven't started on this one yet.
303
00:34:00,333 --> 00:34:02,083
Don't know what there was
to recommend.
304
00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:05,042
First and last time.
Won't have you around again, mate.
305
00:34:05,167 --> 00:34:07,917
No risk of that.
And I'm not your mate.
306
00:34:08,042 --> 00:34:13,042
Right, just an uppity window cleaner
who can't clean fucking windows.
307
00:34:41,208 --> 00:34:42,625
Hi, lu.
308
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,000
See you later.
309
00:36:27,417 --> 00:36:29,250
Sure, you're old enough
to do this yourself.
310
00:36:30,375 --> 00:36:32,208
And without cutting your fingers.
311
00:38:18,042 --> 00:38:22,542
Sometimes the children fight,
hide in their rooms.
312
00:38:22,667 --> 00:38:26,167
Yeah, but then the same child
will skip through the door from school,
313
00:38:26,292 --> 00:38:29,125
you know, clutching a prize
that they've just won for maths
314
00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:31,833
and you know
you've done something right.
315
00:38:33,458 --> 00:38:37,500
I'm so proud of them
and grateful for the privilege
316
00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:40,000
of sharing our lives
with such incredible young people.
317
00:38:40,125 --> 00:38:41,750
Really, dad, even Tom?
318
00:38:41,875 --> 00:38:45,417
Yes. Even Thomas.
In fact, especially Thomas.
319
00:38:47,417 --> 00:38:51,417
Dad is right. Do you remember
what he was like?
320
00:38:51,542 --> 00:38:55,083
Mum, can we go now?
I'm gonna be late.
321
00:38:55,208 --> 00:38:58,042
Freddy, can you get your stuff together,
please, and put it in the car?
322
00:38:58,167 --> 00:39:01,127
Make sure you don't forget your boots
this time. I'll be there in a minute.
323
00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:05,625
Who put the empty carton
back in the fridge?
324
00:39:05,750 --> 00:39:07,750
Freddy!
325
00:39:09,417 --> 00:39:11,833
Mum, Freddy's taken my boots.
326
00:39:11,958 --> 00:39:14,542
- Mum, I'm late.
- Coming.
327
00:39:14,667 --> 00:39:16,583
I mean, what can I tell you, John?
328
00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:20,000
To me there's no difference
in the way I feel about them.
329
00:39:20,708 --> 00:39:23,625
The birth children
and the adopted ones.
330
00:39:23,750 --> 00:39:28,000
My children are me own
so I love them as me own.
331
00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:30,667
And he'll... he'll be our last one.
332
00:39:31,542 --> 00:39:33,458
Oh, yeah, but if it's god's wish,
333
00:39:33,583 --> 00:39:38,792
then he will be the last one to join
our wee family, so to speak.
334
00:39:38,917 --> 00:39:41,000
And he'll be loved...
335
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:44,250
By all of us.
336
00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:47,083
Right, Billy?
337
00:39:47,208 --> 00:39:48,458
Mum!
338
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,625
That's on me.
339
00:40:21,708 --> 00:40:23,208
Cheers.
340
00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:25,833
Come back and do them tomorrow
if you can, or Friday.
341
00:40:25,958 --> 00:40:28,833
Tomorrow.
It should've settled by then.
342
00:40:35,917 --> 00:40:40,000
Another wasted day.
I should've stayed in bed.
343
00:40:50,417 --> 00:40:53,333
I hoped a baby would've made
everything ok,
344
00:40:53,458 --> 00:40:56,125
but, er... six months
after he was born,
345
00:40:56,250 --> 00:40:59,333
she bought a ticket back to Russia
and she left.
346
00:40:59,458 --> 00:41:02,292
She just left.
347
00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:04,250
Didn't even give us
a fonnarding address.
348
00:41:05,875 --> 00:41:10,375
Wherever she is, she has no idea
of what she's missed out on
349
00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:13,167
and the lovely wee man
he's grown into.
350
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,750
Well, it wasn't her fault.
She...
351
00:41:21,750 --> 00:41:23,833
Here I just couldn't give her
what she wanted.
352
00:41:23,958 --> 00:41:26,625
She missed her country too much.
353
00:41:26,750 --> 00:41:29,417
The truth is,
I wasn't what she wanted.
354
00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:35,333
But, er... when I was told about,
you know...
355
00:41:36,042 --> 00:41:40,000
I thought maybe she could,
you know...
356
00:41:41,125 --> 00:41:42,208
Maybe one day...
357
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:48,250
As mrs parkes explained,
it really is too late, John.
358
00:41:48,375 --> 00:41:50,083
Even if we were able
to trace her,
359
00:41:50,208 --> 00:41:53,333
the council would have no way
of assessing the situation
360
00:41:53,458 --> 00:41:55,875
and we couldn't risk
Michael's wellbeing.
361
00:41:57,625 --> 00:41:58,625
John...
362
00:41:59,750 --> 00:42:02,250
One day at a time, yeah?
363
00:42:02,375 --> 00:42:03,458
We'll get there.
364
00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:07,375
Good morning, John.
365
00:42:09,375 --> 00:42:11,792
I'm sorry for keeping you waiting.
366
00:42:17,292 --> 00:42:18,708
How are you, John?
367
00:42:20,125 --> 00:42:21,708
You tell me.
368
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:28,917
John, we realise
you want the best for your son.
369
00:42:29,042 --> 00:42:30,833
We all do. Believe me.
370
00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:34,958
And your circumstances
are exceptional.
371
00:42:35,458 --> 00:42:38,708
Which is why we're treating this
in an exceptional way.
372
00:42:39,583 --> 00:42:43,333
But there's a limit to the number of families
we can consider before taking a decision.
373
00:42:44,917 --> 00:42:48,750
This is our responsibility, you understand?
And these are all good families...
374
00:42:48,875 --> 00:42:52,458
I know. I do understand.
But you can't ask me to...
375
00:42:55,125 --> 00:42:59,625
I thought I would, you know, know
when I first saw them.
376
00:42:59,750 --> 00:43:02,500
I thought it would be simple.
No, yes.
377
00:43:02,625 --> 00:43:05,042
Not these. That's them.
378
00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:09,208
But what if I'm wrong?
You know, what if I...
379
00:43:10,417 --> 00:43:12,250
- I need to be sure.
- Of course.
380
00:43:12,375 --> 00:43:15,375
Can't we just put an ad in the paper?
In a frigging shop window?
381
00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:19,667
Because they'd still need to go
through the approval process
382
00:43:19,792 --> 00:43:21,958
and we're running out of time.
383
00:44:42,917 --> 00:44:44,417
She should be fine.
384
00:44:44,542 --> 00:44:47,059
You might want to think about
getting a new set of wheels on her.
385
00:44:47,083 --> 00:44:49,833
But she's, er... she's as good as new.
386
00:44:53,042 --> 00:44:56,542
That's... just for the discs.
387
00:44:56,667 --> 00:44:57,833
Labour's on me.
388
00:45:02,250 --> 00:45:03,333
Thank you.
389
00:45:05,542 --> 00:45:08,042
- Do you like cars, Michael?
- Lorries.
390
00:45:08,167 --> 00:45:12,167
Lorries? We fix lorries, too.
391
00:45:12,292 --> 00:45:15,042
Maybe you come around some day
and give us a hand, eh?
392
00:45:15,167 --> 00:45:17,000
Would you like to, Michael?
393
00:45:18,125 --> 00:45:19,750
Help George fix some lorries?
394
00:45:24,375 --> 00:45:26,958
- Cheers, George.
- Good luck.
395
00:45:31,292 --> 00:45:34,583
Come on.
We're gonna be late for tea.
396
00:45:50,583 --> 00:45:53,417
Chocolate, chocolate.
397
00:45:54,333 --> 00:45:56,167
Chocolate.
398
00:45:56,875 --> 00:45:58,708
Chocolate.
399
00:45:58,833 --> 00:46:01,667
- Can you see it?
- Chocolate.
400
00:46:02,458 --> 00:46:05,667
- Where is the chocolate powder?
- Chocolate.
401
00:46:05,792 --> 00:46:07,792
Oh, there it is.
402
00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:13,750
Brown or red?
403
00:46:13,875 --> 00:46:16,208
Mmm... red.
404
00:46:19,708 --> 00:46:21,542
Red chocolate.
405
00:46:24,667 --> 00:46:27,417
- Where's the baking powder?
- Baking powder.
406
00:46:27,542 --> 00:46:29,458
- Baking powder?
- Baking powder.
407
00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:31,208
Ah, there it is.
408
00:46:35,042 --> 00:46:38,792
Michael, maybe we can ask this lady
which is the best baking powder?
409
00:46:38,917 --> 00:46:41,667
- You need baking powder?
- I do.
410
00:46:41,792 --> 00:46:43,458
Is your mummy making you a cake?
411
00:46:47,542 --> 00:46:49,042
No, my daddy.
412
00:46:49,833 --> 00:46:51,625
Lucky boy.
413
00:46:54,250 --> 00:46:55,417
There.
414
00:46:55,542 --> 00:46:57,208
- This one?
- Perfect.
415
00:46:57,333 --> 00:46:59,083
- Great. Cheers.
- Bye.
416
00:47:00,375 --> 00:47:03,167
Michael, you want to put that in?
417
00:47:03,292 --> 00:47:04,375
Good man.
418
00:47:04,500 --> 00:47:07,083
Yeah. Good man.
419
00:47:09,667 --> 00:47:11,083
Grapes.
420
00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:16,042
Aye. Grapes for Michael.
421
00:47:17,375 --> 00:47:19,125
In they go.
422
00:47:22,875 --> 00:47:24,542
Have we got everything?
423
00:47:24,667 --> 00:47:27,917
That's the question.
Let me check the list.
424
00:47:31,958 --> 00:47:33,958
- Michael, eggs.
- Eggs.
425
00:47:34,083 --> 00:47:36,250
Eggs. We forgot the eggs.
426
00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:40,208
Where are the eggs?
Shall we go find the eggs?
427
00:47:40,333 --> 00:47:42,792
- Eggs!
- Eggs.
428
00:47:42,917 --> 00:47:47,000
Eggs!
429
00:48:00,417 --> 00:48:01,833
Right!
430
00:48:02,875 --> 00:48:06,458
This is the last packet of candles.
431
00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:08,917
Which colour next?
432
00:48:09,042 --> 00:48:11,375
- Red.
- Red.
433
00:48:11,500 --> 00:48:14,333
Ok. Red it is.
434
00:48:16,625 --> 00:48:19,792
Mmm... we are ready to go.
435
00:48:20,458 --> 00:48:23,125
Thirty-three candles.
436
00:48:23,250 --> 00:48:25,000
- Three.
- Three.
437
00:48:26,167 --> 00:48:29,750
Mmm... nearly there.
Which candle next?
438
00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:33,875
- Red.
- Red. Red? Are you sure?
439
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,167
- Red.
- Red. Ok.
440
00:48:37,292 --> 00:48:40,292
What a surprise. Red it is.
441
00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:44,167
Ready.
442
00:48:44,792 --> 00:48:48,208
Thirty-four candles on daddy's cake.
443
00:48:48,333 --> 00:48:50,167
- Four.
- Four.
444
00:48:50,292 --> 00:48:54,875
Thirty-four candles
for thirty-four years.
445
00:48:55,958 --> 00:48:57,917
That's it. We're finished.
446
00:48:58,042 --> 00:49:00,292
What do you think?
It looks good, huh?
447
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,833
You're old.
448
00:49:08,208 --> 00:49:09,708
I'm old?
449
00:49:13,458 --> 00:49:15,292
I'm not that old.
450
00:49:17,417 --> 00:49:22,583
But yes, Michael,
daddy's not so young anymore.
451
00:49:26,708 --> 00:49:28,708
And one day...
452
00:49:42,625 --> 00:49:44,125
Is this for me?
453
00:49:45,375 --> 00:49:46,875
Thank you.
454
00:50:22,500 --> 00:50:24,750
I am so sorry. I completely forgot
yous were coming.
455
00:50:24,875 --> 00:50:26,708
I've said that already, haven't I?
456
00:50:26,833 --> 00:50:31,083
I mean, I'm not the tidiest of people,
but the place isn't usually this messy.
457
00:50:31,208 --> 00:50:33,208
I do my washing and ironing
once a week.
458
00:50:33,333 --> 00:50:35,500
I hate doing those half loads, don't you?
459
00:50:35,625 --> 00:50:39,958
Well, with Michael's things,
it feels like all I do is half-loads.
460
00:50:40,083 --> 00:50:43,083
Oh, really?
You know, since daddy's gone,
461
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:45,958
I... I just kind of let it build up
and then I'm left with this.
462
00:50:46,083 --> 00:50:47,500
Thank you, shona.
463
00:50:47,625 --> 00:50:50,025
All right, shall I put the kettle on
and get us a cup of tea?
464
00:50:51,417 --> 00:50:52,583
Aye. Grand.
465
00:50:52,708 --> 00:50:54,375
- Yeah?
- Thank you.
466
00:50:54,500 --> 00:50:56,583
Michael, do you want a cup of tea?
467
00:50:56,708 --> 00:51:00,083
Would you... like some juice? No?
Would he like some juice?
468
00:51:02,667 --> 00:51:05,500
So, John, I don't know how much
you know about my situation.
469
00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:08,125
Well, I'd just turned sixteen
470
00:51:08,250 --> 00:51:11,333
and it was with one of the lads
I worked with back home.
471
00:51:11,458 --> 00:51:14,625
I mean, it was my first time
and, you know, there it was.
472
00:51:14,750 --> 00:51:19,333
Typical. And I loved him. You know,
that sixteen-year-old love for your...
473
00:51:19,458 --> 00:51:20,625
Just a dope.
474
00:51:21,375 --> 00:51:25,542
And then when my ones found out,
well, Jesus, there was uproar.
475
00:51:25,667 --> 00:51:26,750
Daddy was horrified.
476
00:51:26,875 --> 00:51:30,208
He just... he said that there was a doctor
in the next town
477
00:51:30,333 --> 00:51:33,750
and... like, I said, "no way."
478
00:51:33,875 --> 00:51:37,125
And then for me, that...
479
00:51:37,250 --> 00:51:41,167
When it just came time
to, you know, signing those forms...
480
00:51:41,292 --> 00:51:44,542
It just...
I think that I was just so angry.
481
00:51:44,667 --> 00:51:46,750
I was just so angry
with everyone around me
482
00:51:46,875 --> 00:51:49,708
cos I just really wanted
to keep my son.
483
00:51:50,792 --> 00:51:52,500
And I really thought
that I could do it
484
00:51:52,625 --> 00:51:57,208
and I really, really wanted to do it,
like, even back then.
485
00:52:00,125 --> 00:52:01,958
Do you believe me, John?
486
00:52:06,458 --> 00:52:07,875
And I couldn't choose.
487
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:12,583
I mean, I didn't even meet the parents
that were set to take the baby.
488
00:52:13,625 --> 00:52:16,542
So then all those years later,
489
00:52:16,667 --> 00:52:20,917
the doctor said that I probably
wouldn't be able to carry a baby again.
490
00:52:21,042 --> 00:52:23,125
Like, adoption
was the obvious choice for me
491
00:52:23,250 --> 00:52:27,958
and that was fine cos I would've
just thought that I would love our child
492
00:52:28,083 --> 00:52:31,333
just the way I would have loved
the child I had to give up.
493
00:52:36,833 --> 00:52:39,833
But my husband,
he didn't feel the same.
494
00:52:39,958 --> 00:52:44,542
He just thought that he couldn't
love a baby that wasn't his, you know?
495
00:52:44,667 --> 00:52:48,250
Like, actually his. So...
496
00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:55,083
That was the end of that.
Right, come here, you.
497
00:52:55,208 --> 00:52:56,875
Come here.
498
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:00,833
Let's see how many rocks
you can fit into the truck.
499
00:53:02,208 --> 00:53:05,625
So it's been, what, three years now
since I've been...
500
00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:07,833
- Two.
- Two.
501
00:53:07,958 --> 00:53:11,208
It's been three years now since
I've been approved and in the system.
502
00:53:11,333 --> 00:53:15,667
You know, sometimes they say that they're
just looking for couples, which is fine,
503
00:53:15,792 --> 00:53:18,625
but that's the first thing I do
when I go on those profiles.
504
00:53:18,750 --> 00:53:21,250
I see if it's ok that I'm single.
505
00:53:21,375 --> 00:53:23,708
I mean, I don't blame them cos...
506
00:53:24,667 --> 00:53:29,625
I think that if I was looking for a family
for my baby, that's what I'd want, you know?
507
00:53:29,750 --> 00:53:34,083
Two people, doesn't matter the colour
or the shape or any of that craic.
508
00:53:34,208 --> 00:53:36,458
Just two people that loved each other.
509
00:53:36,583 --> 00:53:38,083
I think that's important, don't you?
510
00:53:39,125 --> 00:53:41,542
Yeah, yeah. I suppose.
511
00:53:44,542 --> 00:53:46,292
It's hard, you know?
512
00:53:47,875 --> 00:53:52,125
I mean, for me, it's like... it's like
the light at the end of the tunnel
513
00:53:52,250 --> 00:53:54,667
is a child coming into this house.
514
00:53:55,500 --> 00:53:58,667
I would be like... it would be
like winning the cup.
515
00:53:58,792 --> 00:54:01,458
Only it would be way better.
516
00:54:02,125 --> 00:54:03,208
How many did you get in?
517
00:54:03,333 --> 00:54:05,083
Mmm...
518
00:54:07,083 --> 00:54:11,833
I mean, I just...
I just want a child to love, you know?
519
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:14,667
To give my love to.
520
00:54:15,833 --> 00:54:17,833
What was he like as a baby?
521
00:54:19,083 --> 00:54:25,333
Er... he kept us, er...
Well, me really, up all night.
522
00:54:27,458 --> 00:54:30,458
His mother couldn't give him milk
and teething was difficult.
523
00:54:32,583 --> 00:54:35,667
And what were you like
when you were his age?
524
00:54:35,792 --> 00:54:36,792
I don't know.
525
00:54:36,917 --> 00:54:42,750
Er... they told me my dad brought me up
for my first four years.
526
00:54:44,083 --> 00:54:46,083
He was a lorry driver.
527
00:54:46,208 --> 00:54:49,292
Kept the cot
in the back of the cab.
528
00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:51,958
And then after that,
it was foster homes.
529
00:54:57,875 --> 00:55:00,458
Can I ask you something?
530
00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:02,083
What do you like to do
with your dad?
531
00:55:02,208 --> 00:55:03,708
Mmm...
532
00:55:05,125 --> 00:55:10,458
Well, we don't do so much
physical stuff these days, do we?
533
00:55:10,583 --> 00:55:16,667
So we... we read and watch TV,
go to the park.
534
00:55:17,958 --> 00:55:21,958
And sometimes we wash windows,
don't we, Michael?
535
00:55:23,625 --> 00:55:26,958
Do you love washing windows?
Do you love getting wet?
536
00:55:36,417 --> 00:55:38,917
When are you gonna die?
537
00:55:45,292 --> 00:55:46,292
Er...
538
00:55:46,417 --> 00:55:47,833
Jesus.
539
00:55:47,958 --> 00:55:50,792
Well, I don't know, Michael.
540
00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:54,583
I don't think anyone knows.
541
00:55:54,708 --> 00:55:56,958
I hope it's not for ages.
542
00:57:00,542 --> 00:57:03,583
You know,
I used to be so jealous.
543
00:57:03,708 --> 00:57:09,042
I was so envious
of all those who lived on,
544
00:57:09,167 --> 00:57:10,958
all those old people,
545
00:57:11,083 --> 00:57:16,125
and my husband was going to die
and he was still young.
546
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:23,583
I'd lie awake at night next to him
and... I just got so angry.
547
00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:28,625
But he wasn't like that at all.
548
00:57:29,458 --> 00:57:33,208
He said he enjoyed even more
every minute we spent together,
549
00:57:33,333 --> 00:57:39,250
that everything around him
seemed to be more special, wonderful.
550
00:57:40,375 --> 00:57:42,375
The sun was brighter...
551
00:57:43,292 --> 00:57:47,042
The colours of the flowers
were richer.
552
00:57:47,583 --> 00:57:50,375
Even the grass was greener.
553
00:57:51,333 --> 00:57:54,000
I'm not sure I know
what he was on about.
554
00:57:54,125 --> 00:57:57,958
Maybe he said it
just to make me feel better.
555
00:58:00,375 --> 00:58:04,958
All I see is death, always there.
Everywhere.
556
00:58:08,125 --> 00:58:11,625
Like some bloke hanging around
who wants something.
557
00:58:14,083 --> 00:58:16,417
Never show weakness
is how I grew up.
558
00:58:16,542 --> 00:58:20,708
You showed weakness
in one of those places, you were screwed.
559
00:58:20,833 --> 00:58:22,917
That's how I lived my whole life.
560
00:58:25,875 --> 00:58:27,708
But sometimes...
561
00:58:28,958 --> 00:58:31,375
When I drop him off at school,
562
00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:33,958
there's all those mums there
with their kids...
563
00:58:35,042 --> 00:58:37,708
The tears well up.
564
00:58:38,875 --> 00:58:40,208
And there's nothing I can do,
565
00:58:40,333 --> 00:58:43,083
just turn around, walk away
and hope that nobody sees,
566
00:58:43,208 --> 00:58:47,333
nobody... nobody comes over
and tries to help.
567
00:58:47,875 --> 00:58:51,792
That's not weakness, angel,
that's love.
568
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,833
Yeah, but how can I do
this to him?
569
00:58:57,875 --> 00:59:00,792
I've given him a family
and now I'm taking it away.
570
00:59:00,917 --> 00:59:04,083
You are doing something very brave.
571
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:08,000
You should be dead proud
of what you're doing for him.
572
00:59:09,708 --> 00:59:11,958
I'm sorry, I mean...
573
00:59:14,958 --> 00:59:17,958
It's funny how you can rot inside
and not even know it.
574
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:20,500
I know.
575
00:59:27,750 --> 00:59:29,750
Do you still miss him?
576
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,500
Yes. No.
577
00:59:35,708 --> 00:59:38,208
I talk to him every day.
578
00:59:38,333 --> 00:59:41,667
We had fifty wonderful years together.
579
00:59:45,375 --> 00:59:48,125
Our only sadness was
that we never had children.
580
00:59:52,292 --> 00:59:55,042
I wish I wasn't so old
I could do this for you.
581
01:00:04,625 --> 01:00:08,458
I finally threw out his toothbrush
last Christmas.
582
01:02:08,042 --> 01:02:09,542
Come here.
583
01:02:21,208 --> 01:02:23,625
We don't have to adopt.
584
01:02:24,208 --> 01:02:26,875
I'm... I'm sure my husband and I
are perfectly capable
585
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:28,750
of bringing a lovely baby
into the world,
586
01:02:28,875 --> 01:02:31,208
but it's just not our choice.
587
01:02:32,083 --> 01:02:36,583
The idea of waddling around
happily expectant
588
01:02:36,708 --> 01:02:41,792
and then bringing a little tiny newborn
home from the hospital
589
01:02:41,917 --> 01:02:46,250
and closing the door
and... living in a little cocoon,
590
01:02:46,375 --> 01:02:48,375
all away from the world...
591
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,833
It's just not really me.
592
01:02:52,875 --> 01:02:54,875
It's just not us, is it, Trevor?
593
01:02:56,792 --> 01:02:58,458
We-we both feel that...
594
01:02:58,583 --> 01:03:01,250
We like to confront life.
595
01:03:01,375 --> 01:03:03,708
We like to face things head on.
596
01:03:04,917 --> 01:03:10,042
And for us this would be...
A new journey.
597
01:03:10,167 --> 01:03:11,500
A whole new adventure.
598
01:03:13,625 --> 01:03:16,042
And we have room in our hearts
599
01:03:16,833 --> 01:03:22,750
and we certainly have plenty of room
in our home, so why would we not?
600
01:03:22,875 --> 01:03:29,292
And if someone needs parents,
then we can be those parents.
601
01:03:35,583 --> 01:03:37,083
That's good.
602
01:03:38,208 --> 01:03:40,542
I'm, er... glad for you.
603
01:03:44,125 --> 01:03:46,792
Er... do you like him, Michael?
604
01:03:47,875 --> 01:03:49,375
His name's Jimmy.
605
01:03:51,958 --> 01:03:53,458
Say thank you to Trevor.
606
01:03:53,583 --> 01:03:55,417
Thank you.
607
01:03:59,667 --> 01:04:03,542
He doesn't really look like his photo,
does he?
608
01:04:03,667 --> 01:04:06,167
I mean, or you.
Does he look like the mother?
609
01:04:08,583 --> 01:04:10,917
Aye, he has his mother's eyes.
610
01:04:13,167 --> 01:04:16,208
I mean, how any mother
can leave a child?
611
01:04:17,125 --> 01:04:20,000
I mean, leaving the father
I can completely understand,
612
01:04:20,125 --> 01:04:21,958
but leaving a child?
613
01:04:22,083 --> 01:04:23,917
A child needs a mother.
614
01:04:25,083 --> 01:04:26,833
Wouldn't you like a mummy, Michael?
615
01:04:34,458 --> 01:04:36,458
This will have to go.
616
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:39,833
Wejumped the gun a bit.
617
01:04:39,958 --> 01:04:41,458
Lorraine...
618
01:04:42,292 --> 01:04:44,458
We were hoping for a baby, but...
619
01:04:45,458 --> 01:04:47,542
But please... please believe me,
we will love him,
620
01:04:47,667 --> 01:04:50,917
we will, er... we will bring him up
with love.
621
01:04:52,167 --> 01:04:54,667
Not just for him, but-but for us.
622
01:04:55,667 --> 01:04:57,333
That will be good.
623
01:04:57,458 --> 01:05:01,917
A life well spent,
something to be proud of.
624
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,833
I mean, after all, what could be better
than helping a child grow up...
625
01:05:09,750 --> 01:05:11,750
Ready to face life...
626
01:05:13,625 --> 01:05:15,958
Like your parents did for you?
627
01:05:18,292 --> 01:05:23,167
And to leave this world knowing
that you contributed to something real,
628
01:05:23,292 --> 01:05:28,125
that your passage on this earth
had a purpose...
629
01:05:29,667 --> 01:05:31,333
And a meaning.
630
01:05:33,292 --> 01:05:36,792
Sorry. You have to excuse me.
Sometimes I go on.
631
01:05:40,667 --> 01:05:44,500
And, er... this... this is my room.
632
01:05:45,583 --> 01:05:48,167
Well, it's the train's room, really.
633
01:05:49,667 --> 01:05:53,333
Lorraine doesn't understand
why I spend so much time in here.
634
01:05:53,458 --> 01:05:58,542
But there's always something to do,
something to improve, something to fix.
635
01:06:00,250 --> 01:06:04,083
You just have to take the time
to look at it,
636
01:06:04,208 --> 01:06:07,417
carefully, like a child would.
637
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:10,417
Do you think Michael would like it?
638
01:06:12,042 --> 01:06:14,208
He likes lorries...
639
01:06:15,792 --> 01:06:17,042
And trains.
640
01:06:19,917 --> 01:06:24,667
- Maybe you could show it to him.
- Yeah, yeah.
641
01:06:24,792 --> 01:06:28,958
When he's older.
It's... it's all a little delicate.
642
01:06:38,583 --> 01:06:40,417
Hello, daddy.
643
01:06:40,958 --> 01:06:42,125
Ok, huh?
644
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:45,833
Well, thank you so much for coming.
645
01:06:45,958 --> 01:06:49,792
Michael, it was lovely to meet you.
And you too, John. Real pleasure.
646
01:06:50,417 --> 01:06:52,083
Yes. Thank you.
647
01:06:52,583 --> 01:06:54,167
Trevor.
648
01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:07,042
Michael, Jimmy lives here.
649
01:07:08,417 --> 01:07:11,500
But maybe you could come
and play with him another time?
650
01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:22,333
Er... Michael, I want you
to say goodbye to Jimmy.
651
01:07:22,458 --> 01:07:25,875
And thank Trevor for letting you
play with him, ok?
652
01:07:30,208 --> 01:07:33,208
Thank you for letting me
play with him. Bye.
653
01:07:33,333 --> 01:07:35,833
Bye. Bye.
654
01:07:37,417 --> 01:07:39,917
Good. Come on, let's go.
655
01:07:58,500 --> 01:08:00,708
What's adopt, daddy?
656
01:08:13,583 --> 01:08:15,583
Adopt is...
657
01:08:16,417 --> 01:08:19,833
When a child cannot be looked after
by his mummy and daddy...
658
01:08:22,417 --> 01:08:28,167
And so he can go
and live with two nice new parents...
659
01:08:30,875 --> 01:08:34,292
Who can give him
a new loving family home.
660
01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:43,625
I don't want to adopt.
661
01:09:01,583 --> 01:09:03,417
Don't fall, Michael.
662
01:09:03,958 --> 01:09:05,708
Be careful.
663
01:09:16,167 --> 01:09:18,750
John, these things are done
in a certain way.
664
01:09:18,875 --> 01:09:22,542
There are all sorts of procedures
we're supposed to follow.
665
01:09:22,667 --> 01:09:24,333
They're not written
for a case like yours.
666
01:09:24,458 --> 01:09:28,458
Where did you find those people?
What fucking procedures did you use?
667
01:09:30,292 --> 01:09:31,833
I'm sorry, John.
668
01:09:33,708 --> 01:09:35,792
But it does happen.
669
01:09:35,917 --> 01:09:38,458
A lot of matches just don't work out.
670
01:09:39,583 --> 01:09:41,543
I think they were just hoping
for someone younger.
671
01:09:41,667 --> 01:09:46,083
I wouldn't have given them a dog
to look after. Not even a fucking rabbit.
672
01:09:48,792 --> 01:09:51,042
This is the biggest decision of my life.
673
01:09:51,167 --> 01:09:54,000
Don't they understand?
Don't you?
674
01:09:56,917 --> 01:10:00,333
It's not about me wanting to be right.
It's...
675
01:10:00,458 --> 01:10:03,417
I do understand.
That's why I'm here.
676
01:10:04,125 --> 01:10:08,458
I'm breaking loads of rules I know about
and I'm sure a few more that I don't.
677
01:10:08,583 --> 01:10:10,083
If mrs parkes finds out,
678
01:10:10,208 --> 01:10:12,958
I'll be asking you for a job
before I finish my training.
679
01:10:15,542 --> 01:10:18,792
It's not even about them,
figuring them out.
680
01:10:19,458 --> 01:10:20,958
It's Michael.
681
01:10:23,042 --> 01:10:25,708
I always thought that I knew him.
682
01:10:26,833 --> 01:10:28,333
I mean, I do. I do.
683
01:10:28,458 --> 01:10:31,750
You know, he's... he's mine.
He's my son.
684
01:10:33,333 --> 01:10:37,750
But do I know him?
Really know him, you know?
685
01:10:37,875 --> 01:10:41,708
Enough? For this?
686
01:10:52,500 --> 01:10:54,333
Oh, god. Fuck.
687
01:10:55,042 --> 01:10:58,083
Where's a drink when you need it?
688
01:10:58,208 --> 01:10:59,708
Why did you bring me to this place?
689
01:11:02,750 --> 01:11:05,917
You know what? I don't know.
690
01:11:07,542 --> 01:11:09,292
For some cake?
691
01:11:13,875 --> 01:11:17,125
Ok, fine.
We'll go to a pub next time.
692
01:11:17,250 --> 01:11:20,917
Have two big vodkas.
And then we'll sort it all out.
693
01:11:21,792 --> 01:11:24,625
Well... if you're allowed.
694
01:11:24,750 --> 01:11:26,250
Allowed?
695
01:11:28,042 --> 01:11:30,292
It's definitely not gonna kill me.
696
01:11:43,708 --> 01:11:45,809
Do you think you've cleaned
that lorry enough, Michael?
697
01:11:45,833 --> 01:11:47,833
It looks very clean to me.
698
01:11:47,958 --> 01:11:50,208
No. It's dirty.
699
01:11:54,042 --> 01:11:59,042
Ok, come on, lean your head back.
I don't wanna get soap in your eyes.
700
01:11:59,167 --> 01:12:00,583
That's it.
701
01:12:37,583 --> 01:12:39,000
No more.
702
01:12:39,958 --> 01:12:43,542
We can tell miss Rose
they're all gone.
703
01:12:43,667 --> 01:12:45,750
All dead.
704
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:28,667
No, don't use my spoon.
705
01:14:31,958 --> 01:14:33,958
I told you it's rude.
706
01:14:37,583 --> 01:14:38,833
More.
707
01:14:41,042 --> 01:14:44,708
I'll get you more.
Just please don't eat mine. Ok?
708
01:15:10,042 --> 01:15:12,125
The tiger ones are dirty.
You can't wear them.
709
01:15:12,250 --> 01:15:15,333
We'll wash them tomorrow.
Now it's late.
710
01:15:15,458 --> 01:15:17,708
Michael, put these on, please.
711
01:15:20,917 --> 01:15:22,333
Michael!
712
01:15:27,833 --> 01:15:29,667
Michael, put the new pyjamas on now.
713
01:15:29,792 --> 01:15:32,583
And don't come out of here
until you're ready to say sorry.
714
01:17:23,542 --> 01:17:25,208
What are you putting
in that lorry there?
715
01:17:26,708 --> 01:17:28,125
Rocks.
716
01:20:35,292 --> 01:20:37,792
Yeah, so I've crossed out
all the bad ones.
717
01:20:37,917 --> 01:20:40,167
- Mm-hmm.
- Put a star next to the good ones
718
01:20:40,292 --> 01:20:45,125
and a question Mark next to the ones
who, you know, do pay
719
01:20:45,250 --> 01:20:47,917
but just need a bit of reminding
from time to time.
720
01:20:50,667 --> 01:20:52,083
Here.
721
01:20:52,208 --> 01:20:54,625
So, if you have any more questions,
you got my number.
722
01:20:54,750 --> 01:20:57,917
- I should be on it for a little wee while.
- Thanks. That's great.
723
01:20:58,042 --> 01:20:59,292
Are you going abroad?
724
01:21:04,292 --> 01:21:06,625
Oh, here are the keys.
725
01:21:07,500 --> 01:21:09,500
If you look after her,
she shouldn't let you down.
726
01:21:09,625 --> 01:21:12,375
Brilliant. I will.
I'll let you know how it goes.
727
01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:14,333
Oh, sorry, I almost forgot.
728
01:21:14,458 --> 01:21:17,208
This is for you. But don't cash it
until next Monday, ok?
729
01:21:17,333 --> 01:21:19,750
- Cheers.
- Wish me luck!
730
01:21:20,583 --> 01:21:22,167
Keep her lit.
731
01:23:46,583 --> 01:23:50,333
Like the beetle... left its body,
732
01:23:50,458 --> 01:23:53,958
but is now flying around the forest...
733
01:23:56,125 --> 01:23:57,958
One day soon...
734
01:23:59,125 --> 01:24:02,208
Your daddy will leave his body...
735
01:24:03,417 --> 01:24:06,750
But will always be around you
736
01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:08,708
in the air.
737
01:24:11,875 --> 01:24:14,875
Like the balloon in the sky?
738
01:24:16,167 --> 01:24:17,667
Yes.
739
01:24:20,875 --> 01:24:23,708
You won't see me,
740
01:24:23,833 --> 01:24:27,917
but you can talk to me...
And I'll listen.
741
01:24:29,833 --> 01:24:34,833
And you won't hear me
like you hear me now... but...
742
01:24:37,417 --> 01:24:40,417
You'll hear me inside you.
743
01:24:41,375 --> 01:24:44,208
- Inside?
- Mm-hmm.
744
01:24:46,917 --> 01:24:49,917
Cos I will always be with you...
745
01:24:51,250 --> 01:24:53,667
In the air around you...
746
01:24:55,458 --> 01:24:59,875
And in the sunshine
that warms you.
747
01:25:00,667 --> 01:25:02,500
And the rain?
748
01:25:03,833 --> 01:25:08,583
Aye... and the rain
that gets you wet.
749
01:25:09,417 --> 01:25:11,500
And the grapes?
750
01:25:12,708 --> 01:25:14,208
Yes.
751
01:25:17,792 --> 01:25:20,375
I'll be there too.
752
01:25:20,500 --> 01:25:23,833
Not in the grape,
753
01:25:23,958 --> 01:25:26,292
but in the taste of it.
754
01:25:32,500 --> 01:25:33,917
Mmm?
755
01:30:29,250 --> 01:30:30,917
Hi, John.
756
01:30:33,167 --> 01:30:36,583
Hi, Michael.
It's so lovely to see you again.
54067
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