Original subtitles

Superstar?

Why wouldn't you sleep with a celebrity?

Doing sexual activities,

he would make me disguise my voice, like...

"Yes, Daddy."

I felt literally ill having sex

with him when I knew that there were

fetishes involved in it.

And it was feeding a sickness.

Robert

can smell a wounded woman

a mile away.

Said that I was important.

Make me feel like I'm not going crazy.

After all of us have come forward,

people are still saying he's not guilty.

This has been

going on for close to 30 years now

- because of silence. - Aaliyah's part of the pattern.

Tiffany Hawkins is part of the pattern.

48 women whose names I know are part of the pattern.

It was like he crushed

my life.

It should have ended with Tiffany Hawkins

filing the first lawsuit.

I was just one girl. I was the first girl.

And nobody believed me.

There was nothing to benefit anybody

by locking this guy up.

They said to me and another executive,

"You guys need to buy up all the tapes you can find."

- And we did. - Mr. Kelly has been indicted.

He had an incredible stroke

of good fortune.

The judge kicked that case out.

Ten years later,

how in the world

is he still getting away with this?

The only thing I can do,

just say my truth.

My name is Lanita Carter,

and I was the hair braider for R. Kelly.

I was 24 years old when I met him.

It made me more proud when I thought about it.

You know, like, everybody wanted

to be doing something for this guy,

and I'm doing his hair.

It didn't matter how much I got paid.

I just wanted to be, you know, a part of that.

And, um, it made me feel good to be doing it for a celebrity.

I gained the respect

of many people for doing his hair.

My family, they let me finish sentences...

...when, normally,

they didn't really care what I had to say.

But it was more like, "Lanita,

"who's doing hair for a celebrity,

she succeeded."

Everybody was proud of me.

It definitely felt...

wonderful.

When I first started working for Robert,

a typical day would be

I would get a phone call at any day or time,

and I would be allowed

an hour to get there.

I would wait for approximately

eight hours.

I would do his hair for ten,

15 minutes, tops,

and then I could go.

I could get called every two days,

and I would just get $100.

But I paid my babysitter for, $20 per child.

I had three kids at the time,

and the cab ride home was $20,

so I got a hot $20.

But by me doing his hair,

I was able to get more clientele,

and that provided me

the opportunity to make more money for my kids.

Here it is, a celebrity,

and they take an interest

in me being a better person.

I could just be doing his hair and he never talked to me.

And, instead, he was giving me, like, sound advice

on my life.

R. Kelly told me so much

about, like...

who I am.

He made me feel like...

he believed in me.

I always told him everything about me.

I told him about

my abusive relationship with my husband, and...

he helped me get out of that situation.

And I did.

He made me feel like...

he believed in me.

Here it was.

I come to do his hair.

I'm a nobody.

And he see I'm depressed,

I'm hurt, I have no family,

I have little friends.

He knows that I didn't have nobody.

He knew I didn't have nothing.

And he told me, like,

"You stronger than that. You better than that.

Don't be weak."

And...

I just...

I believed everything he said.

That was the first time somebody, like,

sat down, spent time with me.

That showed respect.

He didn't gain anything from telling me

I was a smart person.

He didn't gain anything from telling me

I was talented.

I told him...

I don't desire to be a singer.

I don't desire

to do anything.

That I was just as satisfied with just doing his hair.

And he told me to think.

R. Kelly told me to think beyond

just doing his hair.

He was the first person

to claim to be my big brother

that-that wasn't my big brother.

There was a lot of nice, beautiful women down there.

And, clearly, all of 'em was there for him.

I wanted my own husband, always,

not somebody else's.

I-I want to be married.

I want somebody to respect me.

I always thought, like,

"My brother will sing at my next wedding"

and blah, blah, blah.

I remember asking Robert.

I said, "If I'm gonna be working for you,

"everyone is telling me not to be bothered with you,

"that you have all these different things going on

and that you have a case going on with a young girl."

And he said, "Thank you."

Robert was like, "Thank you for bringing that to me.

"Thank you for keeping it real with me.

"That is not me.

"That's my brother.

"This will all be done with.

"You will see.

"But I like that you brought it to me

instead of talking."

When I went down to the studio,

I met Ron Isley

from the Isley Brothers.

Um, I met Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child.

I know-- She was down there at the studio with R. Kelly a lot.

One-one day in particular, um,

Michelle Williams looked at me and she said,

"How old are you?"

And I said, "I'm 24."

And R. Kelly saw her and said,

"Pull out your I.D.

"She is 24, married with children.

You see how people would think that she's young?"

And I was so happy

to pull out my I.D.

I didn't-- I didn't find it disrespectful at all.

I felt like, "Here is my I.D.

I am proving everyone wrong."

I was often asked

to be careful going to his studio.

They're saying that, you know,

he's a pedophile and he mistreats women.

And I stood up for him every time.

I mean, there-there were even times

where people weren't talking to me

and I would interrupt the conversation and say,

"Excuse me, I know him.

"I'm sorry, but I work for him,

and that's not who he is."

I would go back and tell Robert

what had transpired.

And I would always get, like, a warm look,

like, "Thank you for--

"thank you for believing in me.

"Thank you for having my back and being loyal behind my back

and not just in my face."

R. Kelly was big on... loyalty.

R. Kelly is preoccupied with loyalty.

And I proved myself to be loyal.

Our commitment

to celebrity culture is our--

we want to get as close as we can to it.

If access is where the grooming process starts,

then celebrities have a million-mile start.

I told him everything about me

because he was easy to talk to.

R. Kelly

shared with me

that... he was molested.

I shared with him

that I was molested...

raped...

and kidnapped.

I was molested between the ages of

eight...

to 12.

There was one time

I was at a bar with my mother.

She was a barmaid.

Her boss sat me on his lap.

And...

he started molesting me,

fondling me.

And I just sat there,

eating potato chips.

Little black girls--

we are told from very young ages--

you don't let men touch your private parts,

you don't sit on a man's lap,

you don't go anywhere with strangers, right?

We get this litany of rules,

and it gets told to us over and over and over again.

And it gets reinforced in all kind of ways.

A man comes in the house, they say, "Go put some clothes on."

You know, or, "You can't be left alone with so-and-so."

Those are the things that you hear all the time.

But let me tell you what you don't hear.

What you don't hear often enough

is the parent or the adult saying,

"If any of these rules are broken,

"it is not your fault.

It is always the adult's fault."

And so,

you have generations of children

who are being raised to believe that they are complicit

in their own abuse because they "broke a rule," right?

Because I shouldn't have been there.

I shouldn't have worn that.

I must have projected something that said

that I was available to be taken advantage of.

I have lost

self-esteem for staying in situations I shouldn't.

I didn't see nothing past being a hair braider.

And now I'm at the top of my game.

I'm doing hair for a celebrity.

When someone has been abused, they are

at greater risk of being abused again later in their life.

Oftentimes, a lot of, the ailments

that they've experienced from,

you know, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation,

questioning their own, um, reasoning

and their own, decision-making,

are a challenge because

of what they experienced as children.

Child sexual abuse is the most pervasive health risk

and problem that young people face, and it carries

with them throughout life.

I thought I could trust...

Robert.

I thought...

I thought I could trust his entourage.

Everyone talked to me like I'm one of the guys.

You know, it's like, you know, the little sister or something.

There was

one day in particular that I was at the studio,

and one of the members of the entourage tried

to talk to me. He's like,

"Come on, let's make out."

I said,

"I got three kids."

So...

that was it. I went home.

I didn't think no more of it.

And I got a phone call,

and it was Robert, irate,

over the phone,

asking me,

"Why didn't you tell me this was going on?

What happened?" He said, "I'm like your brother, man.

I can't have you down here like this."

I-I said, "I'm so sorry.

I would've told you, but I didn't think it was nothing."

He said, "You're supposed to give me the heads-up

on **** like this."

And that was the first day

that...

I felt like I was unloyal to him.

People

who are abusers or, you know, who are, um,

trying to take advantage of, particularly, young people,

will use shame for sure.

Like, a big part of what I experienced

as a survivor of child sexual abuse

is the shame of not having been a good girl.

And so, once they get that nugget,

the abusers, they can take that and twist that

and use it against you in all kinds of ways.

And then you sort of carry...

It's like you do the work for them,

because the shame makes you feel so bad.

And you carry it. It's like an albatross around your neck.

So it's-it's... it's a... a weapon

that is used and wielded

against lots and lots of survivors.

I stopped getting called to come and do his hair.

So I started calling.

I would call, and I would say, "Hey, this is Lanita.

Can I speak to Rob?"

"He's not here."

So I was puzzled.

I think it was for about...

maybe a month or two

that I was not able

to go and do his hair.

And then, all of a sudden,

I get a call.

I get a phone call

to do his hair.

All of a s

I get a call.

"Lanita, can you come down and braid Rob's hair?"

And I was there in about 45 minutes.

And I had...

I-I told Robert while I was doing his hair,

I said, "Look, I'm apologizing to you

"because I wasn't trying

"to be down there or anything,

and nothing happened."

And he says, "I know.

But I know it won't happen again."

After that,

I did his hair every two days.

February 18, 2003.

I get there, and everything feel different.

He always, you know,

had his hands in his pants or whatever.

And he says, "I want

a head massage."

And I laughed it off.

I said, "I don't do massages."

And he said, "No, not-not that head.

This head."

And I remember him walking,

you know, toward me.

I had my hair in two French braids,

and he,

pulled my braid down, like toward him.

And... and I go like this.

And he just started hocking his spit and go...

He spit like... he spit seven times.

He was like, "Suck it. Suck it for Daddy."

I wanted to make a living

just off of doing his hair.

It was like he crushed my life.

And I started crying so hard.

He immediately got mad at me.

"Did I beat you like your husband?"

He asked me to fix... fix my **** face.

I walk to the bathroom

with my eyes squinting,

I grab this towel,

and I-I wipe my face.

It was sticky.

And I look up at my eyelashes,

and my eyelashes are, like, stuck together.

Like, pointy, stuck together.

He ejaculated on my face.

That's why my eyelashes were sticky.

After I wipe-wiped my face,

I wet the corner of the towel, and I, like,

just keep wiping my face and wiping my face.

Like, this is the face I kiss my kids with.

This... I got... I go home, and I kiss my kids good night.

I kiss my kids goodbye for school.

And I just started feeling so dumb and stupid.

Everybody I told to trust him--

"This man not like this,"

"He not that type of person,"

"Pray for him, care about him" --

it's like...

And I stood up for him every time.

In the black community, oftentimes, we are

trained to protect black men based on the history

of incarceration and slavery in this country.

And so the last thing we are told is, call the police.

If it's in your family or if it's in the community,

in the neighborhood, you don't want to get people in trouble.

So many black women, in particular,

do not report sexual violence and sexual harassment

because of our long history with law enforcement.

We're all socialized to understand the vulnerability

that black men have in terms of being overpoliced.

We all know that, and we all are, um, in this together.

So, to say that you're a victim of sexual assault

when it's a black man who does it,

you're the one who's seen as,

um, somehow harming the community, when in fact,

the person who violates you is the person

who-who has broken ranks and who has committed a-a deeply

traumatizing act that... breaks us apart.

And I kept on thinking, "Well, he didn't rape me,

so it ain't no case," you know?

And I called my brother-in-law.

I said, "Eddie, I want you to beat up R. Kelly.

"Beat him. I ain't never asked you to fight nobody.

What y'all was making jokes about-- it happened."

And he said, "You're so silly.

"You don't fight somebody like R. Kelly.

"He got bodyguards.

"You call the police.

"He spit on you and **** on your face?

That's assault and battery."

And...

I said, "Let me call somebody else."

I called his friend,

and I tell him what happened.

And he says, "Yeah, baby,

"you got to... you got to call the police.

"There's nothing nobody can help you with.

I hate that happened to you."

I call the police.

I tell them what happened to me.

And she said, "Can you describe the assailant?"

And I tell her, "R. Kelly."

That was the worst thing I could've ever did.

The whole block filled up with police cars.

There's no room to get in or out.

The first police that get there,

she's a black lady.

I immediately feel like...

I'm so grateful this is not a man.

Thank you. Thank you, God.

I start to tell her what happened to me,

and she says...

"Well, you know you... you not gonna be able

"to go back down there

"if you make this police report.

How do I know you're not crazy?"

And everything I was saying to the woman police officer,

I could hear it echoing in the cars behind me.

So everybody was just parked

so that they can listen to what was happening.

I was...

told to go upstairs to my apartment, and...

a police called me and told me that they were coming to get me.

And they came with their sirens on.

I got in this police car--

it was my first police ride--

where you have to sit slanted, with your knees like this,

and I'm being whisked away to the police station.

So, I meet this nice young gentleman.

His name was Detective Daly.

And at that moment, he was, like, my savior, you know?

He introduced hisself.

I told him everything,

and he didn't act like he didn't believe me.

After me being at the police station for eight hours

and Detective Daly took me home,

he asked me for my clothes,

and I gave it to him.

I first met Lanita Carter

the day after she was assaulted by R. Kelly.

She had already made a complaint to the police,

and I believed her.

Making a report, making an allegation,

making a complaint against a celebrity,

you know, as the victim,

that you're gonna be highly scrutinized,

that you are making a report that will upset

not only the celebrity

but the whole world around him.

This is all over the news, this is everywhere,

and I'm just nervous.

They put me in, um,

the Essex Inn hotel.

I sent my kids away,

and I try to deal with this thing.

Detective Daly calls me when I'm at the Essex Inn and says,

"Lanita, we've run into a problem."

He said, um...

"They don't know you.

"I've taken them your picture, I've told them your name.

"Nobody down at that studio

says that they know you."

He says, "Were you there?"

"Yes, I was there.

"My hair bag is in his office.

"It's a black plastic bag.

"I have a blow-dryer.

"I have pictures. I have dry shampoo.

I was there."

And he says, "Okay. We're gonna raid the studio."

Detective Daly calls me and says he's at the studio

and that they're actively raiding the studio.

But he says, "Wake up,

"wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.

"We're running out of time.

This... this is about to end. Wake up."

And I'm groggy, and he's like, "Look...

"you got to give us more information.

"'Cause your stuff ain't here.

"Tell me something that nobody else would know

unless they were here."

And I says...

"There's two Osco Drug pill bottles

in front of three Grammys on a glass stand."

And you could hear him running.

And he say, "It's here.

I believe you now."

Detective Daly calls me

and says he's at the studio

and that they're actively raiding the studio.

But he says, "You got to give us more information.

"'Cause your stuff ain't here.

"Tell me something that nobody else would know

unless they were here."

And I says...

"There's two Osco Drug pill bottles

in front of three Grammys on a glass stand."

And you could hear him running. He's, like, panting.

And he say, "It's here.

You just gained us two hours in this studio."

In the dumpster, they found the black plastic bag

with all my hair products in it.

And they also found the couch cushion

that later they found out possibly had semen on it.

And so now everybody who lied,

who said they didn't know me,

had to change their story and say that they knew me.

I think Lanita had a very strong case.

I think that she had the facts totally under her control.

When Lanita made the report to the police,

and then that was turned over to the state's attorney

for prosecution, that becomes their decision.

They go to a grand jury process,

and that is, an interview

with the complaining witness,

with the victim, with Lanita in this case,

and they decide

whether a crime has likely been committed,

and then they decide whether they want to bring charges.

During that time, Shauna Boliker

took me to the grand jury,

and I testified,

and... everyone badgered me there.

Basically told me,

"Why wouldn'tyou sleep with a...

superstar?"

"Why wouldn't you sleep with a celebrity?"

I was in tears.

I was uncomfortable.

And, um...

they were so mean to me.

They were so mean.

Nobody was there for me.

I think our legal system has to really do an atoning

for how we've treated, um, cases of-of sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse, sexual assault

is one of themost underreported crimes.

And I think that's because victims

fear that they won't be believed.

Lanita was disappointed

and pretty devastated

to know that they were not gonna be bringing criminal charges.

She had put herself on the line.

She had done what she knew was right for her.

She followed her own responsibility

to herself and her conscience,

and she felt that she was being ignored by the system.

At that point,

Lanita and I discussed where was this case

in terms of criminal charge

and where was a possible case

in terms of a civil action on her behalf.

In criminal court, it's about punishing the conduct

of the perpetrator, deterring this conduct,

and, um, essentially making sure it doesn't happen again.

In a civil case,

a victim of sexual assault is seeking money damages.

I did not want to sue R. Kelly

at any time.

I wanted him to apologize,

or I wanted him...

to be criminally charged

Shauna Boliker, she told me, "Lanita,

"maybe this is bigger than you and me.

Have you ever thought about just suing Robert?"

So everybody had talked

about not taking the bitch money...

not settling, standing up for yourself,

and now I'm being told to, um, contact Susan Loggans.

Hi. I'm attorney Susan E. Loggans.

If you have a case, we will fight for you.

Susan...

has brokered,

settlements for silence for victims of R. Kelly's abuse.

She definitely has done that on the cheap.

And whatever money she made, she...

she took a third of whatever she settled,

and that's sort of what happened.

Word got out on the street.

You want money from Robert, see Susan Loggans.

A nondisclosure agreement would be signed.

The girl promised never to speak about it as she took this money.

Some people would have a problem with what Susan Loggans did.

I think other people would say...

she was a civil attorney doing her job.

I contact Susan Loggans & Associates.

She was, like, very aggressive.

She was, "I don't believe it.

"I have tried many cases,

"and this doesn't sound right to me.

You're... you're too old."

You know?

She didn't take my case.

But she told me that, um, she would send me somewhere,

and she sent me to David Pritchard

of Salvi, Shostok & Pritchard.

I mean, he had the case settled in three months.

How many settlements has R. Kelly done?

That right there tells you that he's hiding in plain sight.

I mean, a settlement is...

is not legally an admission of guilt,

But you're settling for a reason, you know?

I did what everybody else wanted me to do

instead of what I believed for myself.

A part of me...

did not want him to be in trouble,

but I did want him to...

acknowledge that he had wronged me.

And it's been, like, the big thing.

Nobody acknowledges that they-they mess over me.

Say that you wronged me.

Say that I was important.

Make me feel like I'm not going crazy.

Like, you know nobody care for me.

Black women

are not allowed to be victims.

We are...

It's so funny, because...

we are able to... help,

we are able to save,

we are able to nurture,

we are able to do everything strong.

Yet we can't be anything weak.

But our men can.

Black women are very much disposable

in the face

of needing to protect

the mythology of a celebrity,

um, particularly a black male celebrity

who seems to have accomplished anything.

So the demand for us is silence

so that the rest of the community

gets to keep this mythology.

I signed a nondisclosure agreement,

and I was

told not to speak about it ever.

We rely heavily

on victim accounts and witness statements

to prosecute cases involving sexual assault

and domestic violence.

I'm here today to encourage victims

of sexual assault or domestic violence,

um, related to these allegations

to please get in touch with our office.

The documentary opened the door to justice

for all of Kelly's accusers.

The attorney general called for women

who-who had these experiences to come forward.

I mean, that was huge.

She had watched all of the show

and asked for any witnesses

to come forward who had evidence

against R. Kelly.

People watch

a documentary and think, "Well, now all of a sudden

something's gonna happen."

99% of our cases

rely on victims and witnesses

coming forward and telling their stories.

That it wasn't enough

that someone watched something on television

and think that something would happen.

In order for us to prosecute cases

of sexual abuse or sexual assault,

regardless of who the offender may be,

we need victims and witnesses to come forward.

She just wanted all those individuals to know

she was open to hear.

We were like, "You know, it's coming.

Absolutely, it's coming."

Please come forward.

Someone texts me,

"Lanita, did you see the news?"

There's nothing that can be done to investigate these allegations

without the cooperation

of both victims and witnesses.

I said to myself,

"If this comes up again,

I'll have to move on it."

The first time I broke

the nondisclosure agreement was

when I did an interview for CBS.

One of the anonymous accusers

in R. Kelly's criminal case is speaking out publicly

for the very first time.

Celebrities are powerful.

Celebrities have... support systems.

I-I have no support system

outside of my immediate family.

I did think

that I would go to jail for, in fact,

speaking out.

She signed an agreement not to speak.

How is she able to speak now?

Is she just disregarding that agreement?

She's disregarding that agreement,

and, again, it's a process for her.

She heard the call from the state attorney.

And she said, "You know what? He gets to talk

"about what he says is his truth.

I'm gonna speak out."

Money does not heal you.

Money does not cover up

what you feel.

I took the chance

of going to jail because

I had already imprisoned myself,

so I was already in jail.

How can you lock up somebody who already locked up?

It's about holding people

accountable for their behavior.

And it's about the fact

that it in the history of American society,

women who are survivors of abuse

rarely see their abusers get held accountable.

In myself speaking out,

I hope to help someone

but, most importantly, myself.

I've always wanted to be a nurse,

and I've always tried to go to school to be a nurse,

and life always got in the way.

Education saved my life.

It helps you learn how to love yourself.

I am a nurse,

and I advocate for so many people,

and I never advocated for myself.

I needed to...

start the process of healing,

and so this is my first part of healing.

There is the real risk

that women rightfully feel

that if they come forward,

"What am I going to lose?"

You risk your place in the community.

You risk being ostracized even by family members.

So to have this moment says that those voices

and those people who were harmed and injured

and then had the bravery to come forward

and say, "Yes, this happened to me,"

they deserve this moment.

They deserve this moment.

Um, and we have to know that there is some possibility

that if we come forward

about the ways that we've been assaulted,

that something is going to be done.

R. Kelly, what do you want to say to your fans?

- Are you innocent? - R&B singer R. Kelly

is now in police custody.

R. Kelly, le chanteur de R&B...

...Robert Kelly.

Earlier today, Robert Kelly was indicted

before a Cook County grand jury

on ten counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse

involving four victims.

I was surprised when he was charged.

Most folks see and accept as abusers or perpetrators

over and over again getting away with these kind of crimes,

so I think this time around,

folks want to get it right.

Mr. Kelly is strong.

He's got a lot of support,

and he's gonna be vindicated on all these charges.

I think all the women are lying, yes.

This has become, "Hey, R. Kelly.

I can say R. Kelly did something. Boom."

Everybody's trying to profit off of R. Kelly.

The 52-year-old performer

turned himself in to Chicago police Friday night.

He is being charged with ten counts

of felony sexual abuse, each of which carries with it

three to seven years in prison.

It's a bunch of disgruntled people who are looking

for their 15 minutes of TMZ fame.

There's no facts to back up these claims.

So many people saw

the Surviving R. Kelly documentary and thought,

"Why isn't he in jail?"

That was so significant,

because while our particular goal

had always been

about trying to convince the black community

to financially divest itself from R. Kelly,

the overall goal

has always been so that charges can be brought against him

and he can be brought to justice.

Because his victims deserve it.

The ones who've come forward and the many who have not.

They deserve this justice.

Are you innocent?

As far as a sentence,

Kelly's facing three to seven years in prison

for each count of aggravated criminal sexual abuse.

He's facing a fine of up to $25,000 on each count,

and he's facing sex registration.

There are four victims in this case.

One is Jerhonda Pace.

Jerhonda was a 15-year-old superfan--

her language-- from the Southern suburbs

who cut high school class

to attend every day of Kelly's public trial.

Sheriff's officers were supposed to be carding at the door

so nobody under 18 was admitted.

Jerhonda lied about her age.

Six months or so after the trial ended,

after the acquittal, he begins...

initiates sexual contact with her.

If you're trying to just walk away

with just blaming R. Kelly,

then you are out of touch.

Parents need to know

where your kids are.

I am a grown-ass man

who travels around the world.

My mother knows where I am now.

I would ask their parents.

I would question them,

and I would say, "Why did you

"allow your daughter to go through this abuse?

"What were your motives as parents,

and why didn't you help your daughter?"

Choosing men and being in relationships

that are ultimately harmful...

These are points of decisions,

but what's important to remember is that the material

that they're making decisions with is corrupted.

Honestly, I had never received counseling

for everything I've been through,

from the time I was

sexually abused at age four, six and eight

and then, um, then Rob.

He abused me again at 16,

so abuse was my comfort zone.

It really did damage me.

Growing up,

I knew my mom was a nonchalant mom.

I knew she was one of those that-that didn't care.

Like, she didn't care whether or not I showed up.

So, like, what I was going through?

It didn't matter.

When you come from a broken home,

it's like a part of you knows when somebody else is broken

or if they come from a broken home.

And what Rob did was normal.

When I started out with Rob, I didn't get this...

overly sexual guy.

It was more, "I care about you.

"You've been through this, and I want to protect you

from all of that stuff."

He offered me security. He offered me protection,

and that's something that I didn't have growing up.

If he wasn't starving me, he was asking me if I ate.

I was so grateful for that. Like,

he actually asked me if I ate.

Like, my mom has never in life--

to this day-- she has never asked me if I ate.

So I was like, "That is something."

And it was those small things that meant the most to me.

He did speak

about how bad his childhood was growing up,

how he was sexually abused as a child.

He was talking about some pretty dark times in his life

and how he was just

never able to find someone that he could trust.

But when it came

to me, he trusted me with everything.

He told me about him being abused,

how we shared similar pasts.

So he made me feel safe and comfortable,

and he promised me that he would never be like

the other men in my life.

As a child,

I was sexually abused.

You know,

by a family member, as well.

So when he opened up,

I felt a connection to him because of that.

That manipulation goes so...

Look at me still t-today. I still

am talking about the little boy that I feel...

needs to be saved.

If a perpetrator appears broken,

he doesn't come off as a threat.

They might be thinking they're gonna take care

and they're gonna love

and they're gonna be the comfort for him.

It's just such a manipulation

that I've never seen before. Like that, like,

he's mastered that.

You could have a party in the house,

and he would just look for the one that's kind of

off to the side, not mingling too much and be like, "Okay,

"this person just over there keeping to themselves,

you're hiding something or you're uncomfortable."

And he would go grab that person.

And it was usually the youngest one in the room.

Robert can smell a wounded woman

a mile away.

It was a different side of him that I-I'd seen.

I didn't expect him to be this-this monster.

I didn't expect him to be so evil.

To grow up and not have

my, my father present...

And to just not have, you know,

a positive mother

present, then to just all of a sudden

have R. Kelly choose you.

It was a-a high for me.

It was, like, the highlight of my life.

Like, you don't understand, like,

this is R. Kelly-- he chose me.

Nobody in my life had valued me.

You know, when I graduated, nobody showed up

for my graduation and it was like

I was always the ugly duckling.

I was always looked over.

And Rob, he just treated me so much better than,

you know, my family had treated me.

Often what we see is that

what starts off as comforting and warm and loving,

that begins to lay the groundwork

for the oncoming and upcoming abuse.

It was a different side of him that I-I'd seen.

That I did not expect.

I was just scared.

You're not allowed to speak to any other men.

You're not allowed to speak to friends or family.

You can only use the cell phone I give you.

You must ask my permission to go to the bathroom

or to take a drink, and if you break my rules,

you are punished physically and mentally.

Any time Rob would flip out,

it always resulted in him

becoming physical with me.

I knew I couldn't defend myself, because if I,

if I hit him, it would be worse.

If I say something, it would be worse.

If I tried to run...

like, no, it wasn't gonna be right.

He was gonna grab me and he was

gonna do more damage,

so all I could do was just sit there

and just take whatever he was dishing.

It's a really messed-up thing, but it's

what I grew up around, and I feel like

that's why I ended up with Rob.

Ultimately, humans

are seeking comfort and familiarity.

So, I want love,

he's giving me love.

But I just don't want the abuse.

In interpersonal violence relationships,

the perpetrator also is the person that gives hope.

Right, and the perpetrator gives pain,

but also gives relief from that pain.

And in a disorganized state,

or in the midst of the chaos of violence,

that is relieving.

Right, and so then, you seek relief,

and you seek it from the person closest to you.

Which happens to be your perpetrator.

I think what we all had in common was that we had

compassion and empathy for his past.

Whatever fetishes and desires that he had,

we were willing to please him.

We wanted his approval.

Sexual abuse at a really early age can

affect the way you relate with sex.

It can make you see sex as a tool

to get closer to people.

To, um, control people.

It can be used as a tool to dominate.

I guess it's, like,

sexual abuse because I was forced

to perform sexual acts that I didn't agree with.

You know, I would say, "No, I don't want to do it."

But again, he would intimidate me.

He would scream at me, and say,

"Well, you know, there's other women

"that'd be happy to be here.

"See, so-and-so don't have a problem doing it.

"I thought you loved Daddy.

You would do anything to please Daddy."

And so when he do that, it's, like, okay,

I have to do whatever I need to do to please you,

whether I agree with it or not.

And, then, once I'm finished, I'm just going

in my room crying with regret that I actually did it.

I was summoned to sex whenever he wanted me to

have sex with him and with whoever, other girls.

It just made you feel so belittled.

I felt literally ill, you know, having sex with him

when I knew that there were...

fetishes involved in it.

And it was

feeding a sickness.

So I would feel ill to my stomach,

because I felt like...

you know, I compare it to...

...someone you know and love on drugs.

And then you're just giving it to them

every day, and as long as they don't go off and do it

somewhere else and they're in the safety net

of your home and in front of you,

you're okay with it.

But you're still responsible

because you're feeding it.

He don't like women.

He treat women so badly

because he have a hate for them.

And I-I really think that hate is,

because of his sexual abuse.

And he talked about how his mom didn't protect him.

Even though he loved his mother with everything in him,

he always talked about how she never protected him.

So, I think that's a part of his hate for women.

So we're-we're very happy with the bond that the judge set.

I think it's fair and reasonable given the allegations.

We hope that, Mr. Kelly's able

to get the money together and post bond.

Look, I finally got around to watching that documentary.

It was a rehash of things they've known for years.

The police have investigated and everybody rejected it.

I think all the women are lying.

Everybody's trying to profit off of R. Kelly.

I know on-on one of the cases,

there are a number of interviews where the young lady says,

"I lied about how old I was.

I lied to him about how old I was."

And then recently said, "No,

I lied about lying about how old he was."

We'll have to look at it.

Well...

So, so, you have a book coming out.

And I hope you sell, I hope you sell lots of books.

What else is your question?

When I blew up at Steve Greenberg,

you know...

It's not very professional, you know?

But I had just seen Jerhonda and,

she had sat in the court room

as the charges were read against Kelly.

Greenberg is saying point blank that

everyone in the new Illinois case,

all of these people who have accused R. Kelly

are liars, and-and I said what I said.

You're calling victims liars.

What is wrong with you, Mr. Greenberg?

This is not about women finding their voices.

We have always had our voices.

This is about people's ability to hear, right?

We've just finally found a frequency

that people can hear us.

But, ultimately, our work is not finished

until those people who have suffered at the hands

of R. Kelly have what they need to feel whole again.

When it comes to all the abuse that I've suffered,

growing up, I still have trust issues from it.

And another thing that--

this may be too much information, but...

I still have, um,

problems with having sex with my husband.

Of everything that I went through,

I don't really know how to enjoy sex.

Because I'm so used to being controlled.

My relationship with Rob has really affected me.

I don't trust men.

I feel like everybody have a hidden agenda.

They'll just want to hear your past and take your pain

and use it against you.

It's very hard to start trusting a guy again, you know.

After your name is in public,

now I can't just sit down to dinner and the guy's like,

"Yeah, you know, I-I work construction.

What do you do?"

And then I just freeze.

You know, I'm like, "Wow, I don't want him

"to know this background, but if he googles me,

it's everywhere, so..."

It's just one of my fears.

I don't want to talk about him all the time.

I am 30-something years

removed from the first time

I was sexually abused,

and I still have to deal with the trauma of that.

I still carry that in my body.

I, um, am also a survivor

of sexual assault and...

We don't get to just move on.

There's never a day we don't think about it.

It's never just news of the week,

and now we've moved on to something else.

And the very least we can do

for R. Kelly survivors

is not be too tired to care.

They live with this every single day.

We can, at the very least,

match that energy and make sure

that we see this thing all the way through.

For me to tell my story,

it was really, really, really hard.

It definitely

triggered PTSD for me.

And it brought back all the memories.

You know, I thought I was over it.

It showed me that

I wasn't over those things.

And it showed me that it really did damage me.

So, it-it definitely took me back.

With-with Rob,

I was a part of a suicide pact with him.

And if anything was to happen to him,

if he was to go to jail

or if someone was to harm him,

I was supposed to kill myself.

And... I'm sorry.

I'm getting emotional.

He's the mastermind.

I watched this man

manipulate my little sister.

Rob, he was everything

to me... like, Rob was my life.

I would think I would be done, but you know,

I would leave feeling like I had nothing.

He **** my daughter up.

Emotionally.

Dominique, are you ready?

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