Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

♪ Deep inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep down inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep, deep inside, deep, deep down inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep, deep inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep down inside ♪

- ♪ Oh ♪ - ♪ Deep, deep, deep inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep down inside ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh ♪ - ♪ Deep, deep, deep inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep down inside ♪

- ♪ Oh ♪ - ♪ Deep, deep, deep inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep down inside ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh ♪ - ♪ Deep, deep, deep inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep down inside ♪

- ♪ Oh ♪ - ♪ Deep, deep, deep inside ♪

♪ Deep, deep down inside ♪

- ♪ Oh, oh ♪ - ♪ Deep, deep, deep inside... ♪

And you're locked in to the sounds of the legendary...

- Yeah. - ...Kurupt FM.

Hold tight. The phone line crew inside, yeah?

Phone line number to get you through once again is

07050-030-108.9!

Kurupt FM was one of the biggest

pirate radio stations in the whole of Brentford, yeah?

- Like... - Was the only one in Brentford.

Was the only one in Brentford. That's what I mean.

- Yeah. Yeah. - So it was the biggest.

- So th-that's... Yeah. - No, just...

Hold tight. The drive time massive.

All the sexy ladies round town.

Sexy ladies!

What made Kurupt FM different is

we always played the same songs.

Not a lot of DJs do that.

And that's a confidence thing.

I'll start doing...

Decoy.

We was the first generation to be like,

"Enough of the guitars."

- Do you know what I mean? - Yeah.

Enough of that fucking weird singing.

- Pick up a mic, get some decks and do some real music. - Yeah.

- Do you know what I mean? - Golden era.

You're looking at '01 to '04, golden era, like.

- Do you know what I mean? - And when did music get shit?

- 2005. - Exactly.

♪ "B" stands for brutality ♪

- ♪ I said "E" ♪ - ♪ "E" stands for the energy ♪

- ♪ I said "A" ♪ - ♪ "A" stands for Audi ♪

- ♪ I said "T" ♪ - ♪ Audi TT ♪

- ♪ "T" ♪ - ♪ Guaranteed ♪

- ♪ "T" ♪ - ♪ Riding the beat ♪

♪ "T" ♪

♪ "T" ♪

And was it the right time to end Kurupt?

Looking back at it, probably.

Did we want to drag it on?

Well, yes, if I could. I dragged it on for-for years.

Do you know what I mean?

It's lovely, innit?

Iconic blocks, you know what I mean?

We were legends within our own right. Do you know what I mean?

- Self-proclaimed. - Exactly.

- What, I'm a legend as well? - Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

If anything, one day, the music industry will wake up

and realize that Kurupt FM

was the biggest mistake they ever made.

Facts only.

♪ Deep, deep down inside... ♪

Funny to think this all used to be mine.

Yeah, man.

Madness.

♪ Deep inside, deep, deep down inside ♪

♪ Oh. ♪

Oh, shit.

So why are you living in a van?

One doesn't choose to live in a van.

Uh, life deals you a set of cards, and they're all jokers.

As you can see, I've got everything I need here.

Uh, got the shirts.

If I've got a business meeting, no problem.

Uh, just put that on there.

Hello, mate. Uh, businessman.

You know, ready for business.

Uh, got towel.

I wouldn't, uh, touch that right now.

Have I made a lot of money managing Kurupt FM?

Yes and no.

Actually, just no.

But recently, let's just say I've been on the phone

to a record label in Japan, mate.

Lovely.

Apparently, their music is being used

on a TV show out there.

So it's great to have a second opportunity, a second shot.

And I will be the best manager they've ever had in their lives.

Grindah, Grindah.

Where are you?

Wait till I find him, mate.

He's gonna absolutely shit his ass

when he hears the news.

Oh, I think I see him.

Grindah!

Grindah! Grindah!

- Oh, mate. - Fuck are you doing here?

- What are you doing? - Mate.

Don't film this. Don't film this.

- What is this? - Japan called me back.

They called me back.

We're gonna get a record deal.

- Like an actual record deal? - Yes, mate!

Your song is being used on the telly.

They're actually flying us out definitely?

Yes, mate. It's happening.

That's fucking cool, man.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, then. Check this, then, yeah?

Fuck the system, bruv.

Man, quits, like. You get me, yeah?

This what I fucking think of Your Majesty and that, yeah?

Fuck them, yeah?

Man, quits, like.

Hey, you just gonna leave that there? So you've got...

Yeah, I'm above that now, then.

You said we're definitely going, we definitely got a deal, right?

Yeah, I think so.

- You think so? - I'm like 80% sure.

- Oh, fuck's sake. - Sorry.

I might just finish this round, then, just make sure I get

- this month's pay... - Yeah, that's smart.

- But then after that, I'm definitely quit, right? - Yeah.

There it is, our world-famous track

that Japan's absolutely obsessed with.

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw, bang... ♪

Oh, mate. That is mad.

Me and Beats, the main ones.

My best mate Beats alongside.

Yeah. That's DJ Decoy.

He don't really say much, but he made the track.

Steves.

They probably think Steve's disabled though, looking at it.

But check this. Their comments.

Most of it's in Japanese. I can't even fucking read it.

"Bang." It says "bang" as well.

There are quite a few "bangs." Wow.

They're quoting my lyrics in Japan.

Hey, Tony! You're gonna be a star, mate!

Yeah.

You'll be delivering your own bloody royalty checks

to yourself soon.

No, I won't be doing this anymore.

- That's the point. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

This is a colleague announcement.

Charnice, please take your break.

Charnice, please take your break. Thank you.

I'd recognize that MC voice anywhere.

Beats, you piece of shit!

Fucking hell.

- Yes, bruv. - How you doing?

Ah, what are you doing here?

Uh, well, got some big news, ain't I?

- Yeah, I already told Kevin. - Oh, well, I wanted to tell him.

- We're definitely going, yeah. - Yeah, we're going, mate.

It's happening. It's happening, mate.

- Sold the van. I sold the van. - Sick.

- I've quit my job. - He's quit his job.

- Wow, fucking hell. That's mad. - Hey, we're doing it.

- Kevin. - We're doing it. - It's happening.

- It's happening. It's happening. - Yeah, mate. - Kevin, Kevin.

Did you call Jeff, yeah?

My son slash boss.

I'm not your son.

Well, stepson, but same smoky eyes,

so people assume I'm his dad, which I love.

- So yeah. - Can you just get back to work?

Uh, I'm a proud dad, Craig.

Craig, what do you think of your dad's record deal?

Yeah, just get off me and just go finish your shift, yeah?

Fine.

- Yeah. - That's mad.

- Mad, innit? - Yeah.

Ah, bruv.

When the music industry come knocking

at your door, like, you drop everything.

Yeah, yeah, you rush to that door and you open it.

- And guess who's standing there. - Who?

Tiny little three-foot Japanese fella.

No, he's not tiny.

- It's a massive record label... - A lot of them are.

Yeah, well, and it's a massive record label and he's saying,

"Oh, I want to sign you lot. I want to take your lot track,

put it on a TV show and fly you out to Japan immediately.

Yeah, and-and we say, "Yeah, definitely,

as long as you lot pay for flights and hotels."

- Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.

- They agreed? - Yeah. - Yeah.

What did you say?

- I said, "Yeah." - Yeah.

I just want to thank everyone

for the past year and a half of working with me.

I've had the greatest time.

Wilf, Charnice,

- thank you for all your support. - Kevin, Kevin.

Hey, get off. Get off.

And Kurupt FM are taking over Japan!

Anyway, see you in a bit, mate.

Nice one, Kevin.

- Angel! - What?

Angel, come help Daddy fold his clothes.

You know he struggles.

Got it. Great.

What are you doing?

Just trying to fit everything in.

They're gonna get all creased and you're gonna be upset.

Angel! We got a plane to catch!

What's the first thing

you guys are gonna do in Japan?

- Uh, what are we gonna do, babe? - Uh, right...

- Get some good pictures basically, won't we? - Oh, yeah.

We're just gonna, like, take in the culture

by getting selfies everywhere.

Beats, you still there?

Yeah, still here, mate.

- Is Roche there? - Did that stop...

- I see her. - Huh?

I haven't seen her for ages. Let me see.

I-I can hear her.

Hi.

Is Roche coming to Japan as well?

- No. - Oh, that's sad. - It's not sad.

Not everyone wants to go.

- Look, babe. - My talent alone

has taken my whole family to the best city in the world,

- Japan. - Japan.

Who's that? Robyn?

Hello!

Hello! It's Uncle Tony!

It's Uncle Tony!

Hello!

- Oh, she's hiding. - She's hiding from you.

Yeah, she's a bit scared.

She's not scared.

Bubby...

It's Uncle Tony!

Hello!

Right.

Yeah, record labels don't normally fly managers out,

so I'll have to sell the Merc.

To four different people.

Whoever gets here first can have it.

I'll be long gone by then.

Gonna miss the Merc.

- Is it actually a Merc? - Yeah.

Bon voyage.

Well, I'm good to go.

So what have you got there?

So we got uppers, downers, uh,

ones to help you sleep.

These ones wake you up.

Um, those are good for anxiety, which is good

'cause pretty much all of these create anxiety.

And... yeah.

Now just got to get it all up my ass and we're good to go.

Yeah, Japan sounds sick and everything,

but, uh, apparently they've got

a massive drugs problem over there.

Um, you can't get drugs anywhere.

All packed for Japan.

So that's something that I'm having

to take into consideration.

- Do you not have a door? - Huh?

Are you filming?

Here you go, airport.

Do you know where the Japan entrance is?

- Over there, mate. - Oh, that way.

Yeah.

Yeah, once the condoms ran out,

I just started getting sandwich bags.

- A bit bigger, but you can sort of fold them into... - Yeah.

Just... they still stayed in all right, to be honest.

That's not Kurupt FM, is it?

Oh. Kurupt FM is back.

♪ Oh, back like we never left, colder than... ♪

- ♪ Everest. ♪ - Yes!

- Coldest mountain in the sea. - Yeah.

Okay, guys, I've got the boarding passes.

- You did there? - I've printed them out.

- Okay. - Oh, sick, guys.

- Did-did you do something to your hair? - No.

Um, okay, Deeky, that's for you.

- Anthony Zogra... - Zografos.

Yeah, okay. Don't touch it.

Don't touch it. Steven Green.

There we go. Kevin Bates.

- There you go. Good to go. - Yes.

Uh, last but not least...

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, Lady Miche. Sorry, uh, I didn't know...

I didn't know that you were coming.

- Uh, they only paid for the boys to come. - Are you joking?

They-they haven't even paid for me; I had to pay for myself.

Why the fuck didn't you tell me earlier?

- Yeah. - Well, I don't know.

- I thought they were just coming to wave us off, friendly. - No.

What?

So, sorry to butt in, but we are cutting into

very valuable duty-free time.

- Yeah, no, I know you're excited about duty-free though. - Yeah.

Tell you what, I can hustle it.

I will negotiate,

and I'll say he needs his hair and makeup team.

- We'll fly you out. - Yes.

- Okay, thanks, yeah. - Yes, duty-free!

- We'll see you in a bit, yeah? - Yeah.

- What even is duty-free? - Um, it's this place,

apparently, where they've got massive Toblerones

and, uh, big packs of fags and that.

- You're joking. Toblerones. - Yeah.

And you look after mummy as well.

- Decoy, come on! - Yeah. - Yeah? All right.

- Decoy! Dude! - I'm just saying bye.

Taking ages with weird emotional goodbyes.

- Bye. I'll see you guys later, yeah? - Bye-bye. We'll see you.

- Grindah's trying Toblerone. - Bye, now.

- We're gonna watch. - Come on, hurry up. - Sorry.

- Love you! - Uh, yeah, same!

- Yeah. - Bye!

- Hello, mate. - Hi.

- MC Grindah. - Beg your pardon?

And where are you traveling to today?

Tokyo. Uh...

We just got signed to a music... you know the... yeah.

Sir. Sir.

Oh, mate. Big risk, big risk.

But you know what? This is what entrepreneurs do.

We take risks, you know?

I mean, look at me, yeah?

I came to this country in '95

with nothing but five pound and my brother's passport.

My passport.

My passport.

Where you traveling to today?

- Japan. - Japan?

And what are you doing over there?

- Nothing. - Nothing?

Uh... business. Sorry.

- Okay. - Yeah?

Good to go.

- Oh, thank God. - Thanks.

♪ The Beloved... ♪

Have you told anyone about Japan?

Not really.

I've told literally all my followers.

No one cares about your Instagram.

♪ The Beloved... ♪

So glamorous, isn't it?

This is mad.

- Breathe in. - Seat four, yeah.

- Sorry. Watch. - Um...

Can you just chuck that in there?

It's salty.

Got about 20 Toblerones in that bag.

- Give that to Decoy. - We're on our second block.

Mmm, mmm.

Oh, hard.

♪ The Beloved. ♪

Oh.

Ah, sorry about that.

Oh, fuck.

Not this again.

How do you get off?

Oh, God.

- Deeky, guess what. - What?

I've only gone and done it, haven't I?

What have you done?

I've joined the mile high club.

You serious?

So naughty. It just happened.

Oh, my heart's still beating. Feel it.

- Uh, no, no. - Feel it.

Y-You actually fucked someone?

No, on my own.

Just had a wank, isn't it?

Mate.

I'm gonna have a nap, yeah?

I'm knackered after that.

Was gushing out. It was gushing out, mate.

From the pressure.

Came out like a bloody burst pipe, mate.

- Miche. - Can I ask you a massive favor?

So basically I've told the entire Internet

that I've gone to Japan with Grindah,

but now it turns out we weren't included.

Oh, fuck. Sorry.

It's okay though. I've got a plan.

- All right. Uh... - Can I just...?

- You got chopsticks? - What?

Can you bring those in, Angel?

- Give us that one. - Oh, I'm so tired, you know.

Aren't we going home?

We can't go home.

But why can't you go home?

- We're supposed to be in Japan. - One more.

What are you doing, Steve?

Bruv, I need to open the window.

Well, you can't open the window.

No, I'm suffocating. I need to get off.

Well, you can't get off. We're on a plane, Steven.

We need to get off it because...

Fuck are you two doing, man?

- What the fuck's going on? - The plane's shrinking.

Steve's being weird. I think his wraps have burst.

Bruv, you missed it. The plane's shrinking,

and, well, I need to tell the pilot.

No, the plane's normal size, innit?

- What? - Let's get our heads together.

- Tie this around him. - 'Cause... Ah, what's that?

- Where are they coming down? - What?

Steve, we just need you to calm down.

- The government is sedating us. - Keep talking to me.

Keep talking to me. Yeah.

When you look up in the sky, you see those lines?

We need to speak to the crew. I want to speak to the pilot.

It's all right, it's all right. It's all right.

We're gonna speak to the pilot. It's all right.

We're gonna speak to the pilot.

- It's all right. - Steves! No.

No, Steves, no, no, no, don't. They'll fucking...

Listen, everyone...

- No, no, no, you're not allowed. - We should tell everyone.

- Come on, Steve. - They don't know what's happening, do they?

- Shh. - Come on. - Everybody, get down.

- Yeah. - Yeah, it's all good.

We're his carers.

It's been compromised.

The plane's been compromised.

I never take more than I can handle.

That's the key with drugs.

Know your limit

and take exactly that amount.

- Oh, no. No. - It's all right, mate.

Ah, shit.

Oh, fuck's sake.

- Sorry. Sorry, sorry. - We need to get away.

- We need to get away. - What are you doing?

And literally the only side effects

I've ever had from drugs is

I've got dyslexia from smoking skunk,

and I got a free laptop for that.

So, in a way, it was a victory.

- Tie his hands up! - Why can't anyone see?!

- Shut up, Steve. - Why can't you see?

Can't take him anywhere.

Uh, look happier, Angel.

- Why? - Come on. Smile for the camera.

You're in Japan. You should be happy.

- We're not in Japan. - Well, eat some noodles, then.

No.

This is so stupid.

If you're gonna look miserable, then pout at least.

- All right, Miche? - Oh, yeah, Roche.

Can you get a pic for us actually?

'Cause I'm struggling a bit to get one of the two of us.

Do you not think that this is maybe completely mental?

No, God, no. I need to be there with, um, Grindah in Japan.

- I'm supporting him. - But you're not there.

I am on Instagram.

Temple.

I haven't been to that temple.

God, you could've fooled me.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm not doing that.

Well, you are. 'Cause you're in Japan.

No, I'm tired of this.

Kids. They won't do anything.

- They don't want to go to school. - Yeah.

They don't want to go to Japan. What do they want?

- Yeah. - Right. It's the kids that's the problem, innit?

Yeah. Hard work.

All right.

Well, have a lovely, um, evening.

Oh, thank you. Or as you say in Japan...

Thank you.

All right.

Should we take his life jacket off?

Nah.

Great neck support actually.

- Yeah. - Might get mine out.

You might not be up for this,

but do you want to watch Fast & Furious at the exact same time?

- Um... - We can talk about it while it plays.

I'd love nothing more.

Three, two, one.

- Nice. - Yeah, spot-on.

- Perfectly in sync. - Exact same time, yeah.

- I wonder if we're gonna have fans at the airport. - Yeah.

- Put shades on him. - What are you doing, mate?

- I want to go home now. - Come here. - Come on.

- Get your bag on. - I want to go home now.

Sorry, sir, can I...

sorry, can I take this from you before you leave, please?

- What is it? - Uh, I'm sorry.

You can't leave the aircraft with this on.

Smell that.

- Petrol. - No, it's success.

- Japan City! - Yay! - Japan!

Look at the Eiffel Tower.

That is mad, innit?

Oh, yeah, fuck. They must have moved it.

Oh, my days. Look how much neon there is everywhere.

Oh, God, whoever does their electricity...

- Scottish Power, they must be raking it in up here. - Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

Look, mate.

Kurupt FM!

Oh, they was all looking. They was all looking.

Think I might be sick on myself.

No, open me first.

This is it, boys.

You all right?

These are bellboys.

They're gonna take our luggage for us.

- Bellboys. - Huh?

- Do you get it? Bellboys. - What?

Bellend.

Oh, my days, bruv.

- Yeah. - Oh, my God, look at the view.

Wow, Japan City.

All looks the same, but it is sick.

- Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. - Innit?

I need to go toilet.

- Bagsy my bed. - Bagsy this one.

Bagsy my bed.

Right.

- You're gonna love it. - Go. Go.

Oh, didn't realize they had a staircase here.

Fucking hell, you bastard.

- Do you get it? - Yeah, let me do one.

- Miming. Miming. - Let me do one.

Uh, check this, check this, check this.

What's that?

Skiing.

- Skiing. - Ski... I'm skiing.

- Yeah, that's good. - You can literally do anything.

- Yeah. Oh, I got another one. - Yeah, go.

Go. Tap in.

- Level three please. - Yeah.

- Minus three. - Yeah.

Lift! Oh, I should've thought of that.

- It's quite comfortable. - Yeah.

Fucking hell.

- Bruv? - Yeah.

We finally fucking made it.

I think we have, mate.

Madness.

Check this out.

Oh, that's insane.

Is this, uh, Pissing Alley?

- What? Huh? - Pissing Alley.

What, can you just piss anywhere down here?

- Yeah, basically. - What we out here for?

What's it look like we're out here for?

Do you know what I'm saying?

- We're out here to get a record deal. Look at us. - Yeah.

Look at that.

We're out here to take over Japan,

- repair their music scene... - Yeah.

...and show 'em what Kurupt FM's about.

- Right, exactly. - Do you know what I'm saying, like?

Never do that chick.

I'd give her one.

They don't know what they're in for.

No. Do you know what I mean?

- Lucky bastards. - Innit?

15 years later, we're here, mate.

- Madness. Throw your "K" s up. - Trust me.

- Kurupt FM, the rebirth, like. - Yeah.

- Trust me. - Oh, I'm fucking starving, mate, to be fair.

- Yeah, let's get some food. - You hungry?

- Yeah, yeah. - Oh, I know a spot. I know a spot.

This way, boys!

Come on!

- Tokyo! - Fucking hell, this is nuts!

Why is there so many crossings?

Decoy?

Decoy?

Decoy!

- Decoy! - Over here, Steves.

Follow my voice.

Bruv, what are you going, bruv?

You fucking left me in the middle of the road.

- Do you even know where we are? - Yeah, Tokyo.

- Go that way. - Chabzy, I'm starving.

Yes, okay, we'll get ramen.

- Oh. - Oh.

Wow.

- Mmm. - This is soup.

- That looks delicious. - Yeah.

With a brown egg in.

How's that?

- I don't like it. - Ah, I don't...

Come, boys, this way.

Be a lot easier to read if it was in English, innit?

- Where are we going? - I don't know, mate.

This place is like a bloody maze, mate.

- Bro! McD's! - Oh!

- Fucking McD's! - Got a McD's here!

I knew it, I knew it! I knew I was...

I was taking them this way, so I meant to do that.

Are we really gonna go, like, McDonald's, like?

Oh, shut up, Decoy. Don't you dare take this away from me.

Come on, Deeky.

- The golden arches! - Deeky, come on!

- Bonsai! - Bonsai! - Bonsai. Bonsai.

Drink this, Steves.

God, it's like the future, innit?

Salaryman. Check out these salarywomans.

- It's mad everyone's dressed in suits and that. - Hello, ladies.

Ah, this is mad, bruv.

Steve?

Steves. Look at me.

You got to concentrate on

not looking like an absolute mess, yeah?

It's gonna be one of the most important meetings

of our lives today, all right? Yeah?

- Wipe the gak. - Yeah.

Side of your mouth.

Oh?

Yeah. And the other side.

Cool. Okay, yeah.

Now you're good. I don't want to look at him anymore.

- Yeah, got it. - Let's roll.

- Wow. - Wow.

- Fucking hell. - It's massive.

This is it, boys. Big-time, big-time!

Oh, ariga... Uh, konnichiwa.

Kurupt FM.

- Uh, manager. - Okay.

Okay, so ticket... uh, I'll do it, yeah.

- Give to you. No, no, no. - Oh, a ticket.

- I'll do it, I'll do it. Yeah, take that. - What's that for?

Take that. You give to me and I'll give to them. Go.

- That's the lift? - Oh, my God.

- Fucking hell. - Massive.

- Wow. - Fucking hell.

Yeah, pretty high up, boys.

- What a view. - Gotham City shit.

Stevie, keep it together, mate.

Keep it together.

All right, just act...

I'll follow your lead.

- Hello. - Konnichiwa. - All right.

Oh, wow, that's finally the respect we deserve.

Love that. Loving all that.

Cheers. Oh, sorry.

Uh...

He says you don't need to do that.

All good. We insist.

Yeah, we heard you lot get weird about it, so...

What are you doing? Steves, look-it, stop.

Not the socks.

Sorry, I'm just, uh, very excited to be here.

- What a place you've got here. - Yeah.

- Good lumbar on these as well. - Oh, God, yeah.

Well, um, you guys can call me Taka, A&R manager.

We're really excited to have you here.

And this is Miki, who I've organized to be

- your translator and fixer. - Great.

Fixer?

Well, if you wanted a fixer,

I would've brought my bloody tool belt.

Oh, sorry, I'm Chabuddy G.

I'm the boys' manager of Kurupt FM.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

We weren't expecting you, so...

No, no, I paid for myself. Yeah.

- Should I get some more chairs? - Oh, no, no, it's totally fine.

I can, uh, free roam. I can hot desk.

- Sure? - Yeah, he's fine. It's...

First of all, on behalf of

- Global Business Development... - I think he's speaking.

...we'd like to formally welcome you to Japan.

Okay, are you saying the same thing he's saying

- or is that to... - Yeah.

Oh, okay. And first of all, we would like to...

To him, yeah?

- Yes. - ...formally accept your invitation to your country

and show you a little bit of what we have to offer.

- Let's just start with the "ays." - Yeah.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Deppon the mic, me have to kick on riddim ♪

♪ MC Grindah pon the mix anna blend ♪

♪ DJ Beat, him me right-hand friend ♪

♪ Bust microphone just like a automatic skeng! ♪

Okay.

Ragga rap.

Wow!

Uh, do you want to translate that for them?

- Uh... - I'm not sure I can.

- Too deep to translate. - Yeah.

Thanks again for coming.

So obviously people know your track from the TV show.

Fucking hell, yeah.

This is great, right?

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw... ♪

Really?

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw... ♪

So what do you think of the game show?

The game show is weird, innit?

Do you know what I'm saying?

I wouldn't say we like the game show,

but, like, it's what they do out here, so...

It's what they... it's culture.

Do you know what I mean? Like, who am I to judge?

Do you know what I'm saying?

If you want to dress up in a pink leotard

and start dancing around dressed as a strawberry

listening to my track, that's up to you.

It's like when you hear

a drum and bass tune in an advert.

- Yeah. - And that drum and bass tune wasn't made

for the new Fiat Punto.

- No, it wasn't. - Do you know what I mean?

It was made for ten white bros with dreadlocks in a squat rave.

Yeah, they're nuts out here. Yeah.

- Mental. - This TV show

is massive in Japan,

so basically everyone in Japan knows your track.

So what we want to do now is to put...

- Please, uh, excuse me. - Are you...

- Um... - I was...

I'm just gonna go toilet...

- Steves, this is the best bit. - Uh...

- It's just a... - I'll show you where it is.

Thank you. It's just a piss, so I won't take long.

- Thanks. - Thank you. - Back to it. Um...

- Looks like a Calvin Klein advert. - Yeah, it does as well.

Yeah. I love you guys, and I think there's great potential.

We look fucking great in black and white, mate.

Okay, so, um...

What the fuck are you doing?

This... the toilet sprayed me.

- Sprayed water. - Oh.

Oh.

Does it look like I pissed myself?

Yes, a little bit.

I actually haven't this time.

This time?

I mean, some...

- You are funny. - Yeah, no.

I was joking about that.

- Um... - Uh, there's a dryer in the toilet.

Okay.

- Can you pull the pants? - And then take...

Pull-pull pants down?

No, no, no, no. Just pull th-this area.

I've developed a plan for you guys.

Some promo work with TV shows and radio,

and then a big concert

to introduce you to your Japanese fans.

- Yes! Yeah. - Fireworks as well.

I've developed a plan, uh, for you guys as well.

Um, I think we'll do some promo work,

then big concert

to introduce you to the Japanese fans.

Yes, what do you think?

- Yes, I agree with that. - Yeah? Yeah.

- It seems he is their manager. - Great idea. Uh...

Hi. Manager.

- The manager. - Yeah, manager, manager.

- Hi. - Hi.

I didn't know he was coming. I'll sort it later.

Just get right in there.

Okay, oh.

You can... you can put on my shoulder.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

How many tracks do you have?

Ballpark is, uh,

- about two... - Two...

I mean...

I mean, two, three.

- Do you know what I mean? At least. - Max.

Yeah, at least max.

- So, you know. - Two.

So, I mean, that's how potent our tracks are.

- Do you know what I mean? - Yeah.

- And-and they've lasted that test... - Beats.

- Timeless. - Yeah? - Why you showing me your crotch?

I mean, Leonardo da Vinci only did one painting.

- Think about it. - Yeah.

Um, so, um, Miki will look after you guys...

And I'll look after you. Obviously I'm here as well.

Whatever you guys need, just ask.

Yes. Uh, can we get weed?

Steves, come on.

- No. - Don't lower the tone.

Enough of the foreplay.

Let's get down... to business.

We want 10,000 Japanese yen, up front, in cash, each.

- Yeah. - 10,000 yen?

But that's just like 70 quid, right?

What do you mean it's like... 10,000.

Oh, well, not that, then. Not-not that.

- Guys. - Yeah.

We wanted to talk to you

about the money side of things as well.

Um, did the TV show never contact you

about the rights to the song?

- No. - No.

- Haven't got anything. Yeah. - No.

Actually, they did contact me, um,

but the thing is I've had to actually

completely delete my email address

'cause I'm in the process of being, uh, blackmailed

- at the moment. - Oh.

Why would they blackmail you?

Well, they said they've got footage of me wanking

through the webcam, and they're gonna upload...

Chabzy, bruv, that's just a scam.

Yeah, well, then how do they know I was wanking, Deeky?

Don't translate this bit.

- Uh, we'll-we'll make sure you're looked after. - Great.

- You're our VIPs. - Oh.

This concert is a big opportunity for you guys.

Where do we sign? Yeah, let's do it.

Let's get in the queue.

No, we-we don't queue.

Oh, yeah, we don't queue.

- Oh, wow, look, paparazzi. - Oh.

- Let's do it. - What are you going for,

screw face or natural?

No, just act completely natural.

Who are they?

Nice, huh?

- This is mad. - Check that.

- Massive club, mate, yeah? - It's massive, innit?

- Mad in here, innit? - Yeah, proper, man.

- Thank you. - Smoky, smoky?

VIPs coming through!

Very important people.

- Oh. Chicks, chicks, chicks. - Chicks, chicks.

- Steve, chicks. - Uh, what do I do?

Tell Decoy.

Oh. Decoy, Decoy. Chicks.

- Here we are. - Oh, amazing.

This is Shiro. He's another artist on our label.

- Wagwan, G. Good, yeah? - Yeah.

Grindah. Grindah.

- What? - Oh. Hey, cool cap.

Grindah, ginger hair.

I didn't know you had gingers out here.

- Nice. - My hair?

- Yeah. - I-I dye.

You... Oh, you choose to be ginger?

- Wow. - I choose to be ginger.

- In England, it's the sign of a weaker person. - Yeah.

- Very, very weak. - Yeah. Bye.

Oh, we've got our own champagne. Beats!

Oh, here we go.

- Is that brut? - Oh.

Dom "Perington."

Uh, Taka, one for the manager?

- One glass for me? - Yes.

Where is it? It's coming?

Okay, guys, shall we do a toast?

- Yes, yes. Wait for it. - Maybe wait for my glass.

Oh, here we go.

- Kurupt FM. - Wait, wait.

The rest are irrelevant!

- Kanpai. - Kanpai.

So, um, what's your role in Japan?

I've got a lot to do.

Lot of jobs to do, lot of tasks.

Any examples?

Examples? I mean, so many things.

I don't even know where I could start.

I mean, I need to walk around,

talk to people, make sure everyone's all right.

I need to make sure that, you know, the-the...

you know, everything's all right.

- Any specific job? - I just gave you specific.

Walking around, making sure everything's all right.

Taka, can I get my glass? Is my glass coming?

- Yes, it's coming. It's coming. - It's coming?

Why should I give you my secrets and tips

on how to be a successful manager?

You know what I mean? I'm smart.

'Cause then you could just become the manager.

Taka could become, like... He's not the manager, though.

I'm the manager. Let's get that straight.

Really, tell me what you want, I'll make it happen.

- Everything. Yep. - Okay, okay.

Tell me, as well. Tell me what you want,

and I can make it happen, as well.

Yeah, that's really loud. I can't hear him.

- Don't hesitate. - Okay. - Okay.

Weed, anyone?

Anyone... anyone smoke?

Anyone got any fucking weed?

Steve! Steve.

I wanted to give you this away from Taka

because he doesn't like it.

What's that? Is that a zoot?

That's a zoot.

Yes, it's weed.

- Yes? - Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yes!

I could literally hug you.

Okay.

Yeah.

This place is absolutely mental.

- Best club I've ever been to. - Oh, yeah.

- Oh. - Oh.

Taka.

Wait, can you hear that?

♪ MC Grindah... ♪

- Uh-oh. - Oh, my God.

- Oh, you bastard. You bastard. - Oh!

One-nil to Taka.

I had no idea.

They're playing our song!

That's what I'm saying about Kurupt FM.

We can never die. Worldwide!

Do you know what I'm saying?

- Worldwide, bruv! - Worldwide.

Watch this.

Japan have decided

- that garage is happening. - Yeah.

Me and Beats was always

gonna take over the world.

So, how many people

have you performed to in the past?

I mean, in the past, we've done about...

- Uh, about... - We're-we're looking at about...

- 20? - No. About 200, maybe.

That's MC Grindah. MC Grindah.

I'm the manager.

Sometimes we went on at weird times

when the DJs were changing over.

Yeah, yeah, 20 people

right at that time when we were MCing,

- but to a 200-cap venue, so... - Yeah.

- When you put it that way... - Yeah.

Boys, I got us a bottle.

- I got us a... - Why is it half empty?

- Uh, I don't know. - Did you steal that?

No, no, it just came like that. I just thought it, you know...

- Hey! - No. No, no, no.

Shit.

Come on. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Shit, shit, shit.

Uh, boys, that's on me, yeah?

Uh, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go back to the hotel.

I'll see you lot in a bit, yeah?

- Get out, boy. - Huh?

Watch the ponytail, mate.

- ♪ Studio, like a studio star. ♪ - Morning.

- Studio! - Bah-bah-bah!

Man's going studio right now.

- Do you know what I'm saying? - Cannot fucking wait.

Hey, you good, yeah?

- You all right? - Yeah.

- Jump in. Jump in. - Studio!

Studio.

Studio!

All right, sorry.

- Studio. - Yeah.

Have you been to studio a lot?

We choose to go to studio

once every couple years, like, when...

- Yeah. - 'Cause the type of music we make is, like, timeless.

- Do you know what I mean? Like... - Yeah.

These two tunes have lasted us a span of 15 year.

- Yeah. - Which is good.

Not a lot of people can do that, not even bands like the Beatles.

- No. Oh, God, no. - They had to keep making albums.

- Yeah. - 'Cause it was so dry.

Yeah.

- They had to keep... - Keep-keep doing new...

- Reinventing themselves. - Keep trying to find themselves.

Do you know what I mean? Whereas we already knew that.

- Do you know what I mean? - Yeah.

- Wow. - Studio!

Studio.

My door first.

Always my door first. Thank you.

- We're here. - Ah, studio!

Decoy.

- Yeah, I love studio. - Studio. Exactly.

Yeah, course he fucking does.

Studio!

- Oh, shoes off. - Oh.

No, no, no, you don't need to do that.

- Oh, okay. - Oh, no? - Yeah. No.

What you doing?

- Studio! - Uh...

Hey, guys. Welcome.

- Mm... - Huh?

- Come on in. - Sorry, um...

I-I think there's been a mix-up.

This is a fucking dance studio.

Yes.

I thought we was doing beats today.

- I'm wearing jeans. - Yeah, I know, I know.

Guys, guys, this is Hiroto.

He will be teaching you the dance routine.

He's also a huge fan, though.

We don't really do dance routines,

- so this is... - Yeah. - Yeah.

Okay, shall we just show you, though?

It's really cool.

We don't have to do this, do we?

No, definitely not.

♪ MC Grindah... ♪

Bang, ni, san, shi.

Bang, ni, san, shi. Bang, ni, san, shi.

People love this dance always.

This punch is from the show.

Bang, ni, san, shi.

Guriguri, guriguri, guriguri.

It's nice, right?

♪ Leaving every MC down on the floor... ♪

His nipple's poking out.

Yeah, I just saw that, as well.

No, stop, stop, stop. That's...

We-we can't do that.

That's not what Kurupt FM's about.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Sorry. I'm...

Can I talk to you for a moment, Grindah-san?

Grindah-san?

Yes, sensei.

- Karate Kid. - Yeah.

This way, please.

Yeah, let's talk out here.

Yep.

I know you're the guy that calls the shots with these boys.

- Am I right? - Oh, God, yeah.

I mean, I've always been a natural leader, so...

Yes, I can tell. You're very clever.

- Yeah. Yeah. - You get how the music industry works.

Dancing is what will make you big out here.

This is the stage that you're gonna be

performing on in a few days' time.

- Oh, my days. That is nuts. - Right?

Yeah, no, I can see myself there now.

- Look. It's me. - Yeah, exactly.

- He's got a cap on, innit? - Isn't it exciting?

- And all these people... - Yeah.

- ...going crazy only for you. - Oh, my God. Yeah.

What do you want to do?

Just stand there MCing at people.

- Stand there? - Yeah.

In front of thousands of people?

How will they react if you're just standing there?

Grindah's probably going mental at him.

Yeah, man.

You're officially my favorite person in Japan ever.

You're okay, too.

For a gaijin.

What does that mean? That something to do with ganja?

No. A foreigner, like an alien.

- Oh. Alien? - Yeah.

I've been abducted by aliens.

A different sort of alien.

Oh. Mine were Greys, if you know about them.

- Is it true? - Yeah, yeah.

Uh, uh, sorry, man.

I'm just a bit fucking nervous thinking about it, bruv.

- That's mad. - This is exciting.

- Yeah, yeah. Proper. Proper. - This is a really exciting time

- for you, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I hope I can do it, because...

You can, you can, because you have natural rhythm.

- Fuck. We got to get ready. - All right. Let's do it.

No, we've got to get on top of this.

Look. You see that there? That's...

- Yeah. There's a scar here. - It's a little scar, yeah.

So that's where I picked out a, uh...

Well, I tried to pick out, like, a chip that they put in my neck.

Yeah, you're special.

- Yeah, I suppose. - Yeah, chosen.

Right, boys, uh, we're gonna give it a go.

Um, basically, it's music industry sort of shit,

so we just got to give the fans what they want.

I don't know. Can I just be, like, a DJ at the back?

Yeah, could I be a DJ at the back as, well?

No one's being a DJ at the back, all right, yeah?

We're doing the dance, end of, all right?

It's just what people do out here.

If you don't agree with it,

you're basically being racist, all right?

- Yeah, I don't want to be racist. - Good.

It's gonna be hard for me 'cause I got jeans on.

Yeah, well, you're gonna have to take 'em off.

Come on.

- Really? - Yeah.

Take your jeans off. Come on.

Trust me, you're gonna thank me.

We're gonna be playing to thousands of people

on a massive stage.

Pretty lonely without the boys.

Apparently, I'm not needed.

The manager. Can you believe it?

You know what it is, yeah?

Taka's trying to push me out.

"Oh, don't worry about coming. We've got it all sorted."

Listen, Taka is not on my level, yeah?

I'm like bloody Simon Cowell. I'm a showman.

I used to run a titty bar

back in Hounslow, yeah, back in the '90s.

And I turned that place around, you know?

Mercedes, she was one of our top strippers, yeah?

She was 62, yeah?

Caesarean scar, fake teeth.

She was busy all night long.

And who did that? I did that. I turned that place around.

I'll tell you what, yeah, if Taka doesn't

take me seriously, yeah,

then he's gonna make himself a very, very dangerous enemy.

- He will help you. - Iku yo.

Ichi, ni,

- san, shi. - Yeah, okay.

That-that's really close to my arse.

- Ichi, ni, san, shi. - Yeah.

I can sort of feel it.

- Okay. - Ichi, ni, san, shi.

Ichi, ni...

♪ Man in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I feel good, good, good ♪

♪ I feel good, yes, wonderful, good ♪

♪ Any time I come and have a dance ♪

♪ Have a listen to the man ♪

♪ Selecta! I feel good... ♪

So this definitely looks good, yeah?

Very good.

It feels a bit mad, but no, I trust you.

This is what the people want to see.

Can you MC and dance

- at the same time? Uh... - I didn't think you could.

- No. - But we're still working it out.

Yeah. But you can, because you can have headsets.

So you're excited about playing the gig?

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, I'm excited about the gig.

It's just all this sort of mad shit around it

- that's a bit weird, innit? - Yeah. Yeah.

- Like, uh, all the dancing. - Yeah.

Yeah, but it's got to be done, innit?

Yeah, well, I mean, a lot of people don't do it,

- but it seems to be a thing out here. - Yeah, well...

One, two, three, four. One, two, three...

And then we go forward. One, two...

Just concentrate on the hips.

One, two, three, four.

One, two... Nice.

Four. One, two...

Can we go karaoke later?

- Konnichiwa, bitches! - Wh-what...

Surprise! Aw.

Oh, you can see Japan out the window.

- So cool. I love it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's...

- You flew her out? - No, no, I didn't fly her out.

I didn't... I didn't know.

I-I bought a ticket.

Oh, wow. Where did you get the money from?

Oh, Roche lent me some. Yeah.

She said I should come out,

or otherwise we'd all go completely insane.

- Uh, uh... - The best surprise ever!

Well, it's definitely a surprise.

- Oh, man, man. That's... - Oh! It's crazy.

Are we still sharing a room, or am I gonna have to move?

Uh, hmm.

Wh-What did you think? Did you have a...?

Oh, obviously, I was gonna stay in here with you.

- Yeah? No, okay. Yeah, no. - Yeah.

Of course. Yeah, just... Yeah, probably. Yeah.

Shall I just get your key card now, then? Just...

Well, we don't have to do it now.

- How are you, then, bubby? - Yeah.

Tell me all about Japan.

I love it from up here.

You do need to be there to support your partner.

You know, it's important,

even if they say they don't want you there.

Yeah, I know. Me, too.

I'm knackered, but I'm gonna keep going.

'Cause I was reading about jet lag, and I was like,

- you stay awake, then it's fine. - Yeah.

You know, it's about me making sure Grindah's okay.

Has he eaten enough? Has he eaten too much?

You know, is he tired? Is he happy? Is he sad?

And, you know, I suppose, in return,

that gives my life some purpose.

'Cause I'd love another baby, but until then, I've got him.

- See you later. - You good?

Yeah, I'm good.

What shall we do about the room service?

Oh, she can have it.

The honeymoon suite.

Hello.

All right? What you saying?

Yeah, good, man. You all right?

- Kevin. - What you doing?

Oh, it stinks in here, man.

What's happening?

Yes, bruv.

So, I'm in here now.

Where can I sleep?

Oh, tell you what, you can have it.

Oh, no, let me just clear it up for you.

Sorry, I just had a bit of a cold, basically.

So, yeah, just go for it, man. It's all yours.

Beats, does it smell of skunk?

Yeah.

Did they straighten your hair, as well?

Yeah.

It feels really weird without the hat.

Yeah.

Hi, Steves.

- Good. That's good. - Yeah. Good, yeah?

- Sweet. Okay. - Okay, let's go.

- Can I get my hat? - Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes.

I'm not sure about this, mate. It's a bit...

It's not really Kurupt FM.

Okay.

- Let's go. - What the fuck does that mean?

- Let's go. - Here we go.

- Signature fringe. - Come on, boys.

That's spot-on.

Like that?

Um, no, a bit more front.

Nice.

Well, Grindah... just-just Grindah, uh, step forward.

- Just Grindah? - Okay. Yeah, yeah.

And, boys, let's step back.

Me, like, back here a little bit?

- Nice. - Bubby, remember your angles, yeah?

- Your chin's coming out. - Oh. Yeah, okay.

And, Beats, step back, please.

- Oh, with... Yeah? Okay. - Oh, beautiful.

I just want to make sure we're definitely in shot.

Yes. Yes.

Definitely getting us back there, yeah?

Yes. Okay.

Let's put them even further back.

- More back. - More back.

- More back. - More back? Hmm.

Well, maybe ten steps back.

- Ten? - Ten.

Something like that, just leaning?

Oh, Grindah, that looks amazing.

Feel like I'm in quite an unnatural position.

Hi. Hi.

What does Taka wear?

I read a lot of literature.

And one book that I-I love

is Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Don't know if you've read of it.

But in there, he basically says that

in order to defeat your enemy,

you first must know your enemy, become your enemy.

Oh, it's a bit tight.

Oh, shit.

Sorry. Yeah, sorry, it's a bit tight.

Just get... It's too small.

Sorry, get... get it off me.

- Slowly, slowly. - Pull.

- Oh. - Oh, God.

I nearly had a panic attack then.

Oh, benchod.

Are you jealous, then?

I'm not jealous of Taka.

What's to be jealous of?

Like, yeah, okay, sure, he's, you know, young,

successful, good-looking, handsome.

He smells amazing.

Like, really good.

But what's to be jealous of, mate?

- No. No. No. - No. No.

- Yeah, probably... - No.

...this one.

Too fat.

I'm not jealous!

Look at this, look at this 'stache.

He can't grow this if his bloody life depended on it.

Got pubes on his face, mate.

Taka.

Too fat.

All right, you've said that. Stop saying that.

All right, then get me that one.

Grindah, Grindah,

- maybe bow to the lens. - Mm-hmm. Okay.

But, uh, Grindah, look at the lens.

- Okay. - And, guys, uh, look at the ground.

I don't know, mate.

Can I try one where I look at the lens as well?

Just to see what it looks like.

Okay, we can, we can have a go at it.

- Okay, let's do it. - Okay, you ready?

- Okay, start again, then? On three. - Start again?

- Okay. - Three.

It doesn't work.

Okay, thank you.

Are you guys a boy band now?

Well, not really a boy band as per se, but...

It's going that way, though.

No, it's not going that way.

What is a boy band?

- Was Heartless Crew a boy band? - No.

Think about it.

It's a group of boys that are in a... like, a band.

- Something like this? - So we're together?

- Yeah, like... - Um, actually,

- let's do individual ones. - Okay. - Okay.

Uh, just me. Cheers.

I declare war, Taka!

Have you told him that?

No, I haven't told him that yet.

But when I see him, I'm declaring war.

Lovely to meet you, Taka.

He doesn't really know there's a war going on,

but I know there's a war going on.

So I'm ten steps ahead. Chess.

And guess what, Taka.

Checkmate, mate.

Hey, Taka, remember me?

I'm Chabuddy G, the manager!

Sorry. Sorry.

Ah, yes, lovely.

One more. One more.

Yes, we got it! I think we're done.

- Oh, sick. - Well done, bubby.

- Thank you so much. - Where do you want me?

- Just like... here? - Huh?

Sorry. Uh, we ran out of time. Um...

I thought you said it was individual shots.

Yes, um, but, um...

While they're just here, maybe one?

- Maybe a couple? I don't know. - Yeah, but we got some...

Okay, well, just take one.

- Just take one. - Okay.

Done.

We, uh, still on for dinner later?

You know it, brother.

- What? - Let's go.

But I thought he said we were all going karaoke.

The-the things I learned today,

the different sort of looks I could do.

- Yeah. Very versatile, though. - Yeah.

Innit, boys? It was good fun

for Kurupt FM first photo shoot out in Tokyo, innit?

Yeah.

- Oh... - Yeah.

Oh, Beats, you're not still being salty

because he was doing more of me than you?

No.

I feel like an idiot.

Beats, if you feel like an idiot,

you will look like an idiot.

So, at the moment, you look like a fucking idiot. Well done.

Do you not feel like an idiot?

Well, no, 'cause I'm wearing it with confidence.

Do you know what I mean? Like an admiral.

Well, I don't think anyone pulls off

this admiral look, to be honest, like.

- Um... - Oh, really? - We're a garage crew.

- Oh, oh, thanks, mate. - We're not, we're not...

- A garage? - We don't work on a boat.

Oh, that's funny,

'cause where did pirate radio come from, then?

- On pirate ships back in the day, bruv. - Yeah.

Think about it. This all makes sense, bruv.

He's looked into the history of it.

You're not thinking about that.

The original pirate radio, yeah, was on a ship, yeah?

Pirates on boats, yeah?

I am the captain of our ship.

Why did we straighten our hair, though?

Yeah. Pirates don't have hair like this.

I look like fucking Leslie from EastEnders.

Do you reckon, uh, it's a bit much, what you're wearing?

No, I googled "What do Japanese women wear to dinner?"

and this came up.

Taka! You all right? Oh.

Sorry. Forgot about the old shoes.

- Is she okay? - Yes, she's fine. She...

- Does she need to do that? - No... Yes.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

- This is mad, innit? - Fucking hell.

- I've never seen anything like this. - Yeah.

- Please, have a seat. - So, just, yeah, have a seat.

That's mad. Just on the floor?

No one look.

Look, origami. That's so cool.

Yes, I can make it...

Oh, and then it becomes a napkin.

♪ So good ♪

♪ My love... ♪

Ah.

♪ So good... ♪

- Hi, Steves. - Fucking hell. This place is nuts.

I normally just pick up from Decoy's uncle's car.

Just doing it here?

Are you in a rush?

No.

Do you want a drink?

Uh, oh, what, just sit and have a drink?

Pretend we're normal people?

- Yeah, we can try. - Yeah. Yeah.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Uh...

How-how long shall we...?

We... I suppose we finish the beers at least, yeah?

Yeah.

- And-and then that's her performing. - Wow.

- Yeah. - So, she does a bit of singing.

- Wow. - Sort of a professional dancer. - Does it all.

- Are you her father? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

- But... - I know what you're thinking actually.

She's a little bit darker than I am,

but that's because I'm a quarter Cypriot,

so she's got the, uh, lovely coloring.

Yeah, uh, and when I was pregnant,

I used a lot of fake tan, um, on my skin,

and then it seeped through just into my womb.

But, uh, who-who is the man in the photo?

That is, uh... that's just Decoy.

Yeah, no, he, um... he's just a family friend.

Yeah, he's got nothing to do with it, so...

Oh, hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late. What have I missed?

You all right, Chabuddy?

- Yeah. - Why are you here?

Why are you dressed like that and barefoot as well?

Well, this is what I'm wearing. This is what managers wear.

I'm your manager, aren't I? So...

- Nice Kindle. - Yeah?

It's cheaper than your iPad, mate.

Bruv, what you doing here, man?

We're fucking having a meal.

- I'm supposed to be your manager. - Yeah, supposed to be.

You can't do everything without me.

We seem to be doing okay, right?

I wasn't talking to you, Taka.

I'm talking to my artist.

Come on. I mean, what-what are you saying?

That y-you basically... you don't need me?

What have you done since you've come out here?

You've just followed us and done fuck all as usual.

I-I get it. No, I get it. It's like that, yeah?

So I might as well just go home.

Huh? Shall I go home, Tony?

How long have I known you for, man?

Been through so much.

Okay, just think. I'm giving you ultimatum.

It's me or Taka.

Well...

it's up to you.

It's not my game, is it?

Okay, I'm going now.

This is me going home.

What's...?

Sorry.

Wow.

So, is that tea in there? Is that see-through tea?

- No, no, it's sake. - No, no, sake.

Okay, look, that didn't go exactly as I planned.

Um, just to be clear, did I just fire myself?

- Yeah. - Yeah, I think that's what happened.

That was also my understanding.

Okay, just checking.

- Back home, I have a weed farm. - Yes?

- I grow my own cannabis. - Really?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm a cannabis, uh, expert... - You-you have a farm?

...I would say. Yeah.

You're-you're a DJ?

- Yeah. - And a farmer?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You do a lot.

- Yeah. - You're a hard worker.

Yeah, very...

- I mean, for me... - Wow.

...for me, it's very easy.

Have you ever had a girlfriend?

I do look at people who, like,

are in, like, relationships and that,

and I sometimes think,

"What am I doing that's so different to them?"

- Thank you. - Arigato.

And then I think it's probably just

that I don't leave the house ever.

Fucking hell. Watch the doorway. Oh, you don't need to.

And that I sleep on the floor and don't wash that much.

Apart from that, though, it's like,

"What do you want from me?"

Okay, well, you have my number.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

I'll just, uh, yeah...

- Yeah, okay. - ...shout you or whatever.

- Yeah. - Yeah, o... yeah.

- All right, yeah. - Yeah, all right.

Oh.

- Good night. - Night.

Miki?

Miki, come back! I need to say something.

- I forgot to get the weed off you. - Yeah, I forgot.

I know.

The point of the drinks.

Whole thing would've been completely pointless.

Um, yeah.

Well, it was still fun.

- Shall we...? - Yeah.

Uh, let's go over there.

- Over there? Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

That's a bit bait, innit?

All right? There you go.

See... all right, see you later.

Drug dealers are mad out here, innit? So elaborate.

Me and Alfie Danger literally never been for a drink once.

Shall we try it and see if it's...?

Let's see.

It's...

- Good? - Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it tastes normal. Tastes normal.

Now, Grindah-san, one thing I wanted to run by you

is the name change.

Mm. Yeah.

For what? What-what name change?

We're a bit worried people will

find the name Kurupt FM confusing.

Really?

You're not a radio station now.

You want to be a successful music act.

- Right? - Uh, yeah, but... - Yeah.

So we're gonna be looking at rethinking the name

to something a bit more relevant.

We're thinking Bang Boys.

- Bang Boys? - Bang Boys.

- Bang Boys. - Bang Boys?

People have already

started calling you the Bang Boys.

I haven't heard that.

"Oh, my God, it's the Bang Boys."

- Really? - Yeah. "Where's the Bang Boys?"

See? So we're really just doing it for the fans.

It's all about as many people knowing who you are

- as possible, right? - Yeah.

The audience will love it. Trust me.

Bubby, are you feeling a bit nervous?

No, I'm not nervous. I'm excited if anything.

First time on telly, innit, boys?

It's not my first time.

I-I was on Live & Kicking.

Wait, what-what is it we're doing?

Look, promo is very important.

And one of the main things about promo

is doing things you wouldn't really usually want to do.

- Yeah. - Nice, innit, Beats?

What? Yeah, it's weird.

Fucking hell, this is pink.

Who'd have thought it, innit?

Yeah, I would never have thought this.

Wow.

If we do do well,

like, Taka said he's gonna hook us up

with one of the biggest artists in Japan.

- Oh, yeah, exactly, yeah. - So...

- And probably sort of grime or... reggae artist. - Reggae.

- Yeah. - Do you know what I mean?

And maybe doing, like, a, like, a double album or something.

- Do you know what I mean? - Yeah.

Sort of like, um, Shaggy and Sting.

- That's a great album. - Really good.

- Mad. - Look how they're dressed.

You all right?

Massive. GM probably.

"Bang Boys."

- Yeah, that's our new name now. - What's that?

- What? - It's only a name. I'll talk to you about it later.

- Bang Boys? - Yes, Bang Boys. What?

What do you mean that's our new name?

It's our new name just for now.

We can change it back to Kurupt FM when we're ready.

- Taka... look... - Wait, hold on.

That's a big change, Bang Boys from Kurupt FM.

- Bang Boys? - Yeah. - Yeah, Bang Boys.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's 'cause of the "bang" song, innit?

- Bang Boys. - What?

It's not a big deal. It's just what they...

- Bang B... - It's what you translate our name out here.

- Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? So...

- Bang Boys? - It's just...

- It's easier for them. - Yes, Bang Boys.

What's wrong with Kurupt FM?

It sounds like a pirate radio station, and, uh...

- Yeah, well, that's what we are. - No.

Yeah, but we're not anymore. That's the point.

There's no bands that sound like radio stations, are there?

Yeah, but there's no bands

that sound like a pedophile ring either.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like a pedophile ring.

It sounds like we bang people in the face.

So we're going with Bang Boys.

Okay, these are your outfits.

- There you are. - For fuck's sake.

- Can't we just wear our own stuff? - There you are.

- There you are. - It's called promo, mate.

If you can't handle the fame, then get out the kitchen.

- There you are. - What?

Fucking Taka.

Thinks he can come over here and shit on my plate, yeah?

Fucking benchod.

Thinks he's won the war, yeah?

Well, guess who's still paying for my drinks, mate.

Barmaid.

Yes?

Double whisky on the rocks. Hold the ice.

And I'll tell you what, get yourself one as well.

It's on me, Taka.

Who else wants one, huh?

Boys, you want a drink?

Come on, let me get you a drink.

It's on me, Taka.

Come on!

Aw, look at you lot. You look so cute.

All your little bottoms walking along.

I've never seen so much of you all.

Aw, cute bum.

We're actually doing it.

- Beats. - Yeah.

- Are you all right? - Yeah.

- Sure? - Yeah.

It'll be done soon, and then... Do you know what I mean?

- I don't think I can do this. - Oh, great. Here we go.

Stop being selfish. It's not about you.

Just, uh, w-with the swimming...

- I'm not sure if I can swim. - Yeah, we're not doing this.

- Me and Steves aren't doing it. - Oh...

Yo, I'm out, too, man.

What the fuck are we even doing here?

This ain't what Kurupt FM's about.

This is bigger than Kurupt FM, bruv. Look at it.

What? Nothing's bigger than Kurupt FM. You used to say that.

Yeah? And you used to work in Megabowl.

Yeah? Well, I'd rather work in Megabowl

than be a fucking Bang Boy.

So why don't you and Taka be the Bang Boys

since he loves you so much?

N-No. I'd just do it on my own, yeah?

I'd be called the Bang Boy.

Or, uh, MC Grindah, brackets, Solo Project.

How's about that? Yeah?

- Hold me back, bruv. Hold me back. - Hmm?

You're fucking lucky Decoy's holding me back, bruv.

I swear down.

He's-he's not even touching you.

Oh, is he not? He's not touching me?

- No. - Okay. All right, then. Cool.

- What you doing? What you doing? - He's not touching me. No, no.

- No, you want me in your face, do you? Huh? Huh? - Yeah.

- Not really. Not really. - Oh, you want me, yeah? What?

Oh, you want me off the leash? You want me off the leash? Okay.

- Yeah, well, go off the leash. - Now see-see what happens then.

- Go off the fucking leash. - Fucking see what happens.

Go off the leash. I'm ready.

- Oh, my God. - My jaw's clenched ready for impact, bruv.

- Oh, my God. - I'm ready for fucking impact.

I beg you, I beg you, try something now.

- Yeah? I'm waiting for you. - I beg you... No, go on.

- Free hit. Free hit. - I'm waiting for you.

Oh, I'm waiting for it.

- Come on, boy, hit me. Hit me. - Yeah.

- I'd love to. - Go on, sweetheart.

- I'd fucking love to. - Go, sweetheart.

- What you doing? - Fuck you doing?!

- What are you fucking doing? - Boys.

Don't you dare touch my hat!

- The hat's fine. - Stop it.

- Get off me! - Stop.

- No punching! - No, don't grab his...

Aah! That's my leg!

I've got you by the balls now. Got you by the balls now.

No cocks. No cock grabbing.

- Don't you... - Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop.

Stop.

- Say sorry! - You say sorry!

- No, you say sorry! - You say sorry!

No, you say sorry!

Your shoe's come off.

Beats, I'm gonna put your shoe back on.

Yeah, that's right.

Your shoe's off now.

And that's what fucking happens if you fuck with me, yeah?

- I'm done. - You're fired! You're all fired.

Come on, Steve, let's go.

Where's my helmet?

What are you doing?

Sayonara, you fat lemon.

Bubby, calm down. Stop it.

- Are you crying? - I'm not crying!

Okay, calm down. You've got a show on, right?

- Please stop it. Stop it. - What are you doing now?

It's making me cry 'cause of the adrenaline

- that's coming through my body. - So you are crying?

I'm not crying. It's adrenaline!

You're not making sense.

Stop it.

- Fucking little prick. - Shh.

How dare he try to fight me!

Stop it.

- Please keep your voice down. - It's adrenaline.

It's natural for this to happen after a fight.

This happens after fights. You've never had one.

- I'm gonna go. - I'm so angry!

I'm so angry.

Nice.

- Hey. Kanpai. - Kanpai!

Fuck Taka.

Fuck Taka!

Oh! More drink!

Hey! Kanpai!

This is a bloody wooden box.

We're drinking out a bloody wooden box.

- Have you called them? - Yeah.

They're not answering their phones.

- Fucking little pussyos, man. - Are you ready?

- You'll be fine. - Yeah.

It's just a bit of fun. Come on.

It looks fucking tiny.

- He's a bit worried about the size. - What is tiny?

- I'm not worried. No, no. - What's-what's tiny?

- I'm trying... - Nothing's tiny.

- Just stop telling everyone. - Come on. You're on.

- But you're on telly. It's amazing. - Have fun.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

Oh, my God. Yeah!

Um, I think there's been a mix-up.

I-I don't know how to do this.

No, I've... Fuck's sake.

I-I've never done anything like this before.

What?

I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it!

Fuck!

Oh... I'm doing it.

I'm doing it.

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Leaving every MC down on the floor... ♪

Everyone wants to be famous.

That's the main ambition that everyone has.

And if they don't get that, then they want to be, like,

a teacher or whatever until they become famous.

It's not funny.

It's dangerous.

Oh, his face, though.

I know.

And I pop the shoulder out.

I pop it back in.

I pop the shoulder out. I pop it back in.

I'm a hard geezer.

I look like a nice guy, but, really, I'll kill you.

Excuse me. The bill.

It's okay. Put it on the room tab.

The room tab.

And that's what I'm saying. I'm a hard...

Sorry. The tab has been closed.

No tab.

What?

Hey, listen, guys. Guys, guys.

There's been a mix-up, and I need you lot

to help me with the bill.

Because I-I...

Okay, no problem.

No problem. I'll be back.

- Ex-Excuse me. - Yes.

You-you know the guys there at the table?

Um, they actually...

'cause they're so nice, they're really nice guys,

they said that they're gonna pay for the bill.

- Yes? - Yeah, they said they will pay.

They're going to pay, so...

Hey, if you're gonna pay for the bill, say, "Fuck Taka!"

- Fuck Taka! - Okay?

Okay, thank you.

Uh, I'll go for a wee... a wee-wee.

Fuck Taka.

Fuck Taka.

Just popping out for some fresh air.

Shit.

I'm...

Yeah, I'm... I'm just... I'll-I'll be right back!

Don't go!

I'll be right back! Don't worry!

I'll be right back!

I wish Grindah all the best. I-I really do.

And I don't really want him to fail,

but if he does fail, good.

Oh, you need me to go back-to-back, do you,

for a comeback set in England?

Well, no one gives a shit anymore.

And I'll tell you why: because you sold out.

I thought he cared, like,

and, like, if someone cared, yeah,

they'd just put on the fucking leotard.

Do you know what I mean?

Is a leotard worth a friendship of 15 years?

Okay, okay. Okay, I'll go.

Okay, I'm going.

Bloody hell.

You know what, all these years, yeah,

I thought, yeah, I'm a hustler, I'm an entrepreneur.

But you know what, maybe I just messed this one up.

Maybe I have failed. Maybe I'm not a hustler.

Maybe I'm not an entrepreneur.

All good things do have to come to an end eventually.

Like Queen, like, one of the greatest bands of all time

till Eddie Murphy got fucked up on-on coke and ruined it.

Even when he's dead, yeah, those songs will live on.

I'm just thinking, um...

Do we, um... Do we have anyone there that...

- Taka? - Yeah?

Do we have anyone there that would, uh...

- Uh, sorry. Hang on. - What...

Just got to...

Uh, he's just doing an email, I think.

I presume he's emailing.

So, we're at studio.

You always open the back one first. Why did you...

- Bubby. Bubby. - Grindah-san.

Bubby, I can't believe I'm at studio!

- Don't shout so much. - Say it. Studio!

- Come on. - Studio! - Studio!

Hey, we don't say it too many times

- when we do it, so just come on. - Yeah.

Yeah? Some of that, you fucking prick!

What you saying, Steves?

Uh, just, uh, texting Miki.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Trying to link her before we leave, yeah?

Uh, no, I've got enough draw now, so...

What? Bruv, come on.

Like, you like her, innit?

Just lips her, for God's sake, Steve.

You're exotic out here.

Back home, you're just a butters freak.

Make the most of it.

Yeah, listen, yeah, if you like her, just tell her.

You're both weird. It makes sense.

Yeah, don't overthink it.

Like, just go down there. Be a man.

Be a man?

Be confident, as well, sort of...

Yeah, exactly. And make your voice deeper

and push your shoulders back.

Here we go.

Oh, my God. I feel like we're in a Drake video.

Yeah.

- What is that? - Just a classic mixing desk.

- It just turns it up and down. - Really? Ooh.

Grindah.

- Yeah? - You remember Shiro, right?

Yeah. I'm not working with him, am I?

Oh, yes.

He's got millions of fans out here in Japan,

so it'll really get you noticed.

Well, if you're famous, we should get a selfie,

- shouldn't we? - Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry.

What shall I say to her?

Should I say, like,

"Do you want to link or something?"

Write W-Y-D...

W-Y-D.

Space.

- Space. - Safe.

- S-A-F-E? - Yeah.

- "WYD safe." - Yeah.

- Send that, yeah? - Yeah.

- Sent. - Sick.

No, the intro, the in...

Shh, just talking on the intro.

It's the MC Grindah featuring Shiro.

Let's go.

One, two, three. Let's go!

You.

Oh, fucking hell.

Start again. You've missed the drop.

Start again.

Stop. Start again.

You missed the drop.

Oh, she's replied.

Oh, sick. What'd she say?

Uh, question mark.

Oh.

- That's good. - Is that good?

Do a question mark back.

Sick.

It's the MC Grindah.

Alongside man that's Shiro.

And we're ready to roll right now.

Why?

We got the lyrical flow right now. Go!

♪ With the lyrical, biblical sound, sound, sound ♪

♪ When I pick up the mic, I get down ♪

♪ Say, oh, I get back up all ready to bounce... ♪

♪ Bass, lyrical shout, lyrical shout ♪

♪ Down with the roughneck vibe ♪

♪ Bass, lyrical shout, went up on left ♪

♪ Then I bring it back to the right ♪

Obviously go, then, if I've stopped.

Fucking hell.

- Just sing. Sing. - Sing?

Steves.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, yeah, just, um...

Normal. Yeah.

Um, I don't know what this text means.

Uh, I just wanted to come and, um, speak to you,

'cause obviously we've been...

And... I guess, um...

What I'm trying to say is that you're...

...weird and...

What?

And I'm leaving, so it's, um...

Just wanted to come to say that, really,

and just see, um...

What do you think about that?

I don't know. I'm a bit confused.

- Yeah, I'm-I'm... - Yeah.

...confused, as well, but it's just, I guess...

I-I feel like, for me, um...

I feel like I'm doing all the talking at the moment,

and just, like, maybe it'd be good

if you just said something just to...

...help.

Okay, um, um...

I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

I'm trying to say that I'm a man,

and what are you saying?

- About... - I-I don't know.

Okay, well, you don't know. That's fair enough.

- What do you mean? - I'll just, um...

I've obviously embarrassed myself, as usual, so...

- All right. - S-Steves, uh...

I'll see you later.

It's that way, innit?

How far are we from the place?

- Uh, in five minutes. - Right.

- Right. - Yes.

Is that Japanese time or UK time?

What's the difference?

Well, there's a seven-hour time difference, isn't there?

Five...

Just classic five minutes, is it?

- Normal five minutes. Normal. - Yeah. Normal.

- Normal. Right, okay. - Yeah.

- So that's quite soon. Great. - So... so, English. English.

Exciting.

- Smile. - Oh, for fuck...

Smile. Go on.

Aw.

To be honest, yeah, like,

I had a different view of what fame would be like.

Like, I always thought

fame would just be, like, me and my boys,

yeah, on a private jet,

blazing zoots, going out to every country

and spitting the finest UKG lyrics, yeah?

- Now what? - Okay, now look a bit stronger

and prouder and happier.

It turns out fame is,

um, me and Miche, mainly,

and Taka making me do weird shit.

Fuck's sake.

That's... I'm on the flyer.

Fuck's sake. Why have I got a guitar in my hand, yeah?

You got it?

Bubby. Okay.

Oh, my God. Look.

- "Bang Boys dressing room." - Yeah.

Do you want to say it?

Why? It just says it there.

Sausage rolls.

Yeah. Me and Beats used to insist on them for the rider.

Well, more for you now, so, you know, that's one of

- the perks of them all going, isn't it? - Yeah. Yeah.

Why are all the boys still on the poster?

Yes, I'm glad you asked, Grindah-san,

because we've got a little surprise.

- Miki. Miki. - Yes?

- Go and get the guys. - Yes.

The guys? Are you joking?

You little bastard!

You bastard!

- Oh, my God. Did you know about this? - Oh, my God.

- No. The big reunion. - Yes, you did.

- You lot knew about this, innit? - Oh, my God.

- You're gonna go onstage! - Oh, my days.

We're all gonna be onstage together.

Yes, all four of you.

Oh, my God, you've been so worried,

- and you didn't need to panic. - I know.

The Bang Boys.

What the fuck is that?

It's just their heads.

Yes, we were gonna go with even bigger heads,

but we thought we'd keep it subtle.

How is that subtle?

Look at the size of that.

Th-They're cute, aren't they?

No, they're not cute.

Decoy hasn't even got an Afro in real life.

I know, but we thought it made him look

more cool and hip-hop this way.

Hip...? It's not meant to be hip-hop, for fuck's sake.

We got you a foam head as well, if you want.

Bubby?

Are you sulking?

It's so cool.

Amazing.

You okay, hon?

I'm not okay. This is mad.

Come on, you were born to do this.

This ain't how I imagined it, though.

But you're gonna be amazing. You're just nervous.

It's not nerves. It's just...

It's just this.

What the fuck is this?

Come on, let's look excited for a pic-pic.

Just do that... Bubby.

Okay, I'll just get you walking off for now.

Really good emotion.

What's this? What's going on?

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw... ♪

Bang Boys?

What's he done to them?

That bloody bastard benchod!

Hey!

Oh, I'll tell you what, yeah?

If I can fire myself, I can bloody hire myself, too!

I'm coming, boys!

Clap your hands!

- Come on! - Yeah! Tokyo!

Tokyo!

- Tokyo. - Where's Grindah?

Oh, he's getting changed.

Why? Why?

Hey, is everything alright?

Yes, I'll find him.

He's in the bathroom.

He won't come out.

Hurry!

I'll find him.

Don't worry. He'll get him on stage in time.

What song we doing?

"Dry Your Eyes" by The Streets.

Grindah would love this.

Gold mic as well.

♪ In one single moment, your whole life can turn around ♪

♪ I stand there for a minute staring straight at the ground ♪

♪ Looking to the left slightly then looking back down ♪

♪ World feels like it's caved in, proper sorry frown ♪

♪ Please let me show you how we could only just be for us ♪

♪ I can change, I can grow or we can adjust ♪

♪ The wicked thing about us ♪

♪ Is we always have trust ♪

♪ We can even have an open relationship if we must ♪

♪ I look at her, she stares almost straight ♪

♪ Back at me ♪

♪ Her eyes glaze over ♪

♪ She's looking straight through me ♪

♪ Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity ♪

♪ When, um, they open up, she's looking down at her feet ♪

♪ Dry your eyes, mate ♪

♪ I know it's hard to take, but her mind has been made up ♪

♪ There's plenty more fish in the sea ♪

♪ Dry your eyes, mate ♪

♪ I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts ♪

♪ But we've got to walk away now ♪

♪ It's over ♪

Bubby.

Bubby?

Bubby, are you okay?

Bubby?

I'm staying here till everyone's gone away.

Bubby.

Bubby, it's just...

um, just me talking to you, okay?

We don't have time.

I can hear people whispering. Who's that?

- It's Taka and, um... - Oh, great.

...the-the girl that follows you round.

- Shit. Hi. - Hi.

I'm manager of Bang Boys.

Uh, I need to come in.

Uh... oh.

Th-This for Taka. He forget.

- Taka? - Taka, yes.

It's his. I need to come in.

- Yes? Very good. - Okay.

Listen, mate, yeah? The music industry

is filled with snakes, okay?

And if you give these snakes too much control,

they'll ruin everything, okay?

They don't know about music.

They haven't even got ears. They're snakes.

- I don't want it anymore. - No, I'm not. I'm not.

- I don't want any of this. - Beats and everyone else...

- Where's Beats?! I want Beats! - They don't like you anymore.

No, I don't like you anymore!

You know what, though? We are here.

Come on, quickly. Boys, boys, I'm here! Sorry!

Where are they? Where are they?

Oh, God. Sausage rolls.

They've definitely been here.

Oh, I'm starving as well.

All right, come.

♪ She brings her hands up ♪

♪ Towards where my hands rested ♪

♪ She wraps her fingers round mine ♪

♪ With the softness she's blessed with ♪

♪ She peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures ♪

♪ By pushing my hand away to my chest from hers ♪

♪ Dry your eyes, mate ♪

♪ I know it's hard to take, but her mind has been made up... ♪

Hey! Where are the boys?!

I demand to speak to my clients.

I don't care what you say, Taka.

I'm not leaving till I've spoken to them!

They've all quit apart from Grindah, babe.

- What? - Yeah.

Right, okay, well, then I demand to speak to Tony, then.

No, he's locked himself in the toilet.

We can't get him out.

Okay, Tony... Get out the way.

- Please let us in! I'm worried! - I'm coming...

Okay, Tony, I'm coming in. Stand back!

Oh, where is he? His clothes.

Huh?

Shit. Tony?

- Tony! - Bubby!

♪ But we've got to walk away now ♪

♪ It's over. ♪

Sorry if I was a bit flat with some of the...

That performance was great, mate.

Felt like I went a bit high-pitched with some of it.

Really good. Really good performance.

His clothes are here. He must be naked.

He's gonna get hypothermia.

No, he was wearing other clothes.

Bubby?

You've fucked up now, haven't you, Taka?

You dickhead. Huh?

See?! See what happened?!

Oh, how the tide has changed!

How the tide has changed!

Let's go for a more up-tempo one now.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Shall I do the...?

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ Every now and then I get a little bit lonely ♪

♪ And you're never coming round ♪

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ Every now and then I get a little bit tired ♪

♪ Of listening to the sound of my tears ♪

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ Every now... ♪

Grindah.

Beats.

You're back.

If you'll have me.

Yeah, of course I'll have you.

It's good to have you back.

I don't want to do this music shit without you, man.

Same.

Kurupt FM, yeah?

The rest are irrelevant.

Feels good.

How did you know where we were, man?

I knew you wanted to do karaoke, so...

Yeah. But how did you know which one?

Like, there's thousands of them here.

Yeah, I... Well, I texted Decoy.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Same.

Uh, where's-where's Miche?

Oh, yeah.

I should probably text her, let her know.

What's happened, Taka? Huh?

OK guys, put your heads on.

We can do this without him.

What's he saying?

He's saying they can do it without him.

- What's wrong? - No, you can't do that.

- Grindah, that's his group, hon. - Yeah.

Your husband is replaceable.

Are you joking me? You do not disrespect my family.

I don't care who you think you are.

- You do not disrespect my family. - Don't-don't do that.

Grindah needs to be on stage.

Is he saying something else about my family?

'Cause I will slap him. Did you hear what I said?

No, he said Grindah needs to be onstage.

Yeah, he does need to be onstage.

Grindah will never be on your stage. You know what, Taka?

You're lucky I don't lick you clean out, mate.

Shit manager.

- We're going to do this without him. - You seriously think that's going to work?

Taka knows the dance routine.

- Come on. - What did you say?

I told him that Taka knows the dance routine.

- Fuck Taka! - Fuck Taka!

Hang on. I missed what happened there.

No.

You sure you spelt Kurupt properly?

- Yeah. Yeah. - With a "K." Yeah.

- They ain't got it. - Oh, for fuck's sake.

Um...

Try "Bang Boys."

Oh, my days. Bruv, we're on karaoke.

Oh, my days. Steves!

Bruv, we're in the karaoke machine.

That is nuts, bruv.

It's not easy managing Kurupt.

I've lost, I mean, roughly around seven K.

And, uh, deep, deep, deep in the red.

Deep.

And they made me realize that, God, I'm a good friend.

Because any...

sane manager would have quit a long time ago, but not me.

WEAR IT!

I'm loyal.

Chabuddy G, not the best manager,

but the best friend you will ever have in your life.

Hey, boys!

- Hey! - Hey!

Guess who defeated Taka

- and rescued the fair maiden! - Yeah!

- That's mental. - Yeah, innit? Innit?

- I love you. Oh! - Oh, uh... Oh.

You all right?

Yes. And you?

- You came. - Yeah.

Uh, chicken nugget or anything or...

- Yes, thank you. - Uh...

Deeky, man, bring it in.

What-what are you doing?

Oh, my God, you're on the karaoke!

- Yeah. Yeah, we're in there. - That's mental.

- We're in the karaoke machine. - What?

That's cool.

- Kurupt FM? - Look.

- ♪ Grindah... ♪ - What?

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Leaving every MC down on the floor ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Leaving every MC down on the floor ♪

♪ Call 999, it's an emergency ♪

♪ Beats and Grindah killed an MC ♪

♪ Someone take him to A&E ♪

♪ And perform some lyrical surgery ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Leaving every MC down on the floor ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Bang, lyrical blow to the jaw ♪

♪ Leaving every MC down on the floor ♪

♪ With bandaged knuckles, I dipped 'em in glass ♪

♪ Leaving the MC up on their arse ♪

♪ Lyrical dragon punch so damn fast ♪

♪ Leave your head spinning for more than my bars ♪

- This is embarrassing. - ♪ Beats and Grindah up on the track ♪

♪ Guess you could call that double impact ♪

♪ Why are we so lyrically big? ♪

♪ 'Cause we've been training ♪

♪ Punching a tree for a week. ♪

- Oh, my days. - Oh, my God!

Make some noise!

When I say "Kurupt," you say "FM!"

- Kurupt! - FM!

- Kurupt! Kurupt! - FM! FM!

Kurupt FM!

Deeky, shall we do a duet?

- A love ballad? - Yeah, go on.

- Go, Deeky. - Oh, no, man.

Um...

Chabuds and Deeky back-to-back.

- Um, I want to sing... - I was gonna...

- Oh. - Oh...

- You... No... - You... you go ahead.

- You go ahead. Yeah. - Uh, okay.

I was just gonna say, can I lips you?

- If that's... if you want. - Uh, I...

- But you don't have to. - I don't know what that means.

Oh, great. So I've literally embarrassed myself again.

Um, yeah, uh, it means: "Can I kiss you?"

But, obviously, the moment's sort of gone now.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Look at Steves thinking he can lips!

- That is great! - Love is in the air, mate!

Steves, you dirty bastard!

Thank you.

Can we... can we do more?

Sure.

That's my Stevie boy. That's my Steves.

The little things in life are the most important.

Like, if you start thinking too big,

you realize the world's ending, like,

everything's completely pointless.

Focus on just enjoying

the things around you that are good,

like your mates, like make music, make art,

make a fucking spaghetti Bolognese, whatever you make.

Do something for someone else.

Make them a fucking spaghetti Bolognese.

Yeah, drink! I want a drink!

That's mine. That's mine. Cheers.

You know, obviously, we've been trying

for a long time now for his fame to sort of birth.

Have they got other drinks? I love you.

But he'll probably go back to postman stuff, as well.

That's fine 'cause, you know, he can dream still.

He can be a postman in the day,

and he can dream about being a pop star at night.

And that's our life, and I'm happy with it.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry, brother.

- Listen, it's water off a ducky's back. - You all right?

Okay? Water off a ducky's back, mate.

- Cheers, mate. - No problem.

I'll tell you what, Chabuddy's a hustler.

And you can't hustle a hustler.

I'm Chabuddy G.

The thing with Taka, yeah, is that he's a salaryman.

You know what I mean? Robot.

Oh, wake up, have my, uh, coffee,

go to work, pay my taxes, die.

Me, I've never received a salary in my life, mate.

I've never been paid for anything in my whole life.

Think about that, mate.

Stevie! Stevie!

A lot of people have

bad things to say about going away.

- Yeah. - They say, "Oh, it's expensive.

Oh, it's a long flight."

But I tell you what, get out your comfort zone.

- Yeah. Yeah. - Go somewhere, like, different.

Do you know what I mean? 'Cause do you know what?

- Yeah. - You might not enjoy it at the time, yeah?

- You won't. - You won't. No one...

You don't enjoy things in the moment.

- Yeah. - That's a fact.

- So you didn't enjoy it? - No.

- But... - But that's the whole point, innit?

- But I fucking loved it. - Exactly.

- Do you know what I mean? - Yeah.

- No, I didn't enjoy it, but... - Yeah. But I loved it.

After it was done.

So go and do it.

You'll fucking love it.

- Oh, yeah! - Kurupt FM. The rest are irrelevant.

Always and forever, the brothers.

Do you know what I'm saying?

The Kurupt FM brothers, man. You get me?

♪ Conducta, Conducta, Conducta. ♪

What's mad is, yeah, is that after all of this,

Grindah put it in perspective for me

- that it was just all my fault. - Yeah.

- And that's, like... - Do you know what I'm saying?

Some-Sometimes I can't even see where I'm going wrong.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, it's...

But sometimes you need that.

Uh, it was just... I don't know how it was my fault,

but somehow it was, wasn't it?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You were saying last night.

- And I just want to apologize. - Yeah. No, it's all good.

No need to apologize. I mean, and I apologize...

- But I am sorry. - No, no, but I apologize

for not explaining that to you earlier.

Yeah. It kind of makes a little...

- Perfect sense. Yeah. - Yeah.

Or a little bit of perfect sense, I guess.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Come on. ♪