Original subtitles

You took the readings already.

And without showing it to TA ma'am.

Chirag has already performed this experiment yesterday.

And these are the readings.

I'm sure.

But that's cheating.

Cheating is when this fucking salt....

...will absorb all the KmNo4 and won't change color.

Write it down. It's all right. Write it down.

No. I will follow the procedure.

Fine. Do it.

But...I am going to fully utilize my three hours.

It says 8ml here, you've added extra.

No, it's correct.

If I get a single reading wrong, then the professor will give me a score of 9.

- Ravi, I... - Give me. I will suck it. Give me.

- No, I will do it. Listen, Ravi. - You don't know, man.

What's going on here?

Ma'am, she's not letting me suck.

- She's very bad at sucking. - I suck like a pro.

Ma'am, he always hijacks the experiment.

- He doesn't let me do anything. - Teja, don't dominate.

This is a lab, not your bedroom. You don't respect your partner.

Groups like yours always keep fighting...

...and never get the right reading...

..and the professors think that us TA's provide the wrong chemicals.

Thank God there are some nice groups like them.

They perform the experiments together...

...and get readings exactly like the one in the manual.

- All set? - Yes, ma'am.

We were just beginning to take the readings.

Good.

Actually, ma'am, this success is not just my handwork alone.

She has also contributed to it.

In fact, more than me.

Okay.

If you don't mind, can I ask for help?

Why not?

You...

...cannot touch anything here.

You might spill the acid.

And acid should never fall on girls.

- Ohh. - Yes.

It's NaOH.

Very good. And what's that?

You were saying something.

That's the problem.

- I am terrible at practicals. - Okay.

You see...I am from the SSC Board.

So we didn't study chemistry in depth.

No, no, I am from ICSE board.

Very deep chemistry.

So, will you teach me?

Every student is a unique element...

...who make their own unique bonds.

Like Carbon, ready to bond with anyone.

Or Uranium.

So unstable that no one wants to bond.

There are some from the F block as well...

...who belong to this group, but they are different.

But maximum heat is produced...

...when chlorine which is looking for electron finds sodium instead...

...which desperately wants to share an electron.

Gentlemen and assholes.

You'll soon have your first sister-in-law.

- Who? Who? Who? - Akanksha. Akanksha. Akanksha.

You mean Akanksha who has those big... thoughts.

- That's right. - Listen, think before you speak.

They are not that huge.

Thoughts.

But who did she fall for?

Him.

Exactly, you useless assholes. You should be ashamed of him.

But how did this happen?

- Let's continue our game first. - Shut up.

Tell us how did you she fall for you?

Please don't listen to Jhantoo

No one has fallen for me, and I don't want anyone either.

Hey...then when do you want someone to fall for you?

Have you thought about the future?

Rascals, you should learn from Leo.

He's your age, but he's been having regular sex for two years.

And if he can do it, then you can too.

This bloody wing is filled with assholes.

But if he doesn't want to, then why are you forcing him?

Because I have seen the world.

Girls don't approach someone daily.

The entrance exam you've cracked is nothing compared...

...to the competition that's here for girls.

Sex ration is already 100:09.

And there are only three girls who look better than me.

If you don't grab the opportunity now...

...then soon they will all be taken.

Then you'll scrape through the first three semesters watching porn.

After that, there will come a day...

...when you'll need viagra to even watch porn.

And you won't know when you'll turn from a normal human being...

...to a lonely, pervert uncle, giving advice to people.

Vishwa Tyagi, I am coming!

Sounds bitter, but it's true.

And there's an entire crowd trying for a girl like Akanksha.

Seniors, TA, professors, lesbians.

With this ordinary physique and waiter like looks...

...she can fall for you only in a black swan event.

And now that she's falling for you, don't act cocky.

No, no, I won't.

I just said it to look like a dude in front of them.

But what happened?

She came to him asking for help, and he...refused.

- What? - What?

I didn't say no.

I mean she was asking me about 'titration theory' and I myself copy from him.

You should have said yes, you ass....

I mean I could've explained it to you.

Yes, exactly.

You could've told her anything in the name of titration.

She doesn't know anything, so she wouldn't have known.

At least you both could've talked.

Today you two held hands, tomorrow...

What?

You held her hands?

Yeah.

Fuck.

But dude, listen if your love story picks up...

...then your first night will be in the girl's hostel.

I don't want you two inside the room...

...and Chirag and I are outside the door, waiting for you to finish.

Shut up, don't talk nonsense.

Let something happen first.

Listen, Ankit. I'm saying, don't listen to any of them.

Just email her and tell

that you will help.

I will teach you everything by tomorrow.

We should help everyone, right?

No matter how cute one is.

Or how big someone's thoughts are.

No violence.

No many people know that the word titration...

...was first used in 1828 by Gay Lussac.

'Gay... Sacs...'

Titration is a very cute experiment.

When the right titrants...find the right titrant...

...then their color changes.

Like this one.

Write it down.

"Let me come closer...for a little while."

"I am the one...you were waiting for."

"Hold my hand...for a moment."

"I am the one...you were waiting for."

"Many promises..."

"Many desires..."

"We had to meet someday...that's destined."

"I had this desire all the while to spends my days in your arms."

"We had to meet someday...that's destined."

"Since you came in my life..."

"...look how...the scenes have changed."

"Since you came in my life..."

"...look how...the scenes have changed."

I kept explaining it to her and she kept understanding.

Did you touch her hand today?

No, Chirag.

I touched her heart today.

- Akanksha's message. - What is she saying?

- Hi. - Oh my!

I don't think her intentions are good.

Wow!

Hey...

He threw you out too, didn't he?

Just wait and watch, soon everyone will become a stranger to him.

A wretch can ruin an entire family.

(incoherent chatter)

You're looking very happy.

I swear Jhantoo if it wasn't for you then I would've given up long ago.

- Thanks a lot. - Show me the messages.

What are you saying, Jhantoo?

How can I show you my private messages?

You're feeling shy of your own wing mates.

We slept nude together.

Huh?

When?

Then who was that guy?

Anyway.

Fine. Don't show. Tell me what she is saying.

Nothing special.

Just hi, hello, what did you eat?...

What did you eat? When did you sleep?

Did you study or not? Why didn't you attend the lecture?

Yes, actually.

Only mothers care so much.

Either your, or the mother of your kids.

But bro, isn't this happening all too soon?

Yes Jhantoo, love doesn't happen so soon.

Are you in love or not? Tell me.

Are you in love or not? Don't hide from your wing mates?

He won't. He won't. Tell us.

- Yes. - Exactly.

Then it can happen to her too. Got it?

She has put in all the efforts she could.

Now we must handle the rest.

- How? - Pay the bill first.

Talk to her about personal things.

Try to understand. What kind of a relationship is she looking for?

Steady long term or just free sex.

Free sex? Do you mean other girls charge money?

Finish these noodles.

Understand her.

Find out about her likes and dislikes.

Yes.

One minute.

Hi.

What is your favorite film?

Shawshank Redemption.

- Oh... - And yours?

Vivaah!

What do you hate the most?

Ravi Teja.

Son, when you're in love don't read Ghalib, Meer or Faiz.

Read Anu Malik.

Because whether it's a bed of roses or thorns...

...it has to be your beloved's lane.

- Don't change like the seasons. - Jhantoo..what do I do now?

- Tea? - No. Move aside.

Bloody lover. Asshole.

Try to find out about her family.

Yeah.

What does your brother do?

He's in the Police.

- What? - Traffic Police.

I see. Thank God.

What was the name of your puppy?

I don't have a puppy.

Maybe, I was confused.

- Why? Do you like puppies? - I love puppies.

I miss Brownie so much.

Brownie is so lucky.

"Since you came in my life...look how..."

I feel...

...you're a very warm person.

You really feel that?

And your heart...

Your heart...

Wait a second.

- Hey... - Yes.

How do you say 'comes out' in English?

Comes out?

Something more interesting.

Secrete, discharge, ejaculate.

I am talking to Akanksha.

Exudes.

Exudes.

And your heart exudes boundless compassion.

Are you crazy?

What did you make me write?

- What? - Means...

She means...You're crazy!

- Ohh... - Yes.

You're crazy!

- Listen? - Yes.

Hope you are not mad at me?

No. Why?

You called me crazy, so I got scared.

You really are crazy.

Hi.

Hi.

If reactions could happen so easily...

...then are we fools to run such a big lab?

I didn't say it, my guide says so, whenever I submit my thesis.

They say that bonds don't happen only when the elements want it to happen.

Some reactions don't occur...

...because there is a barrier of many unwanted molecules between them.

The bond occurs when both the atoms break free from their existing bond...

...and cross the social hindrance with full activation energy.

Then those bonds will automatically become double and then triple.

Engagement, when he gets placed.

Wedding, once he gets a job.

And as soon as the bonus arrives... Bonus.

But before all this...

Like it's said in the GR Batla Publication's...

...textbook of Organic chemistry for Competition by Shree OP Tandon.

You must cross the steric hindrance.

She must have gotten conscious in front of the TA

Your impression is good, but she gets yelled at all the time.

How could she express her feelings in front of the TA?

She did look conscious.

Or maybe she got what she wanted and now she doesn't need you.

Then why did she message him?

It takes decent girls a lot of time to accept openly.

When I called her she texted back saying there are people around.

Hey...if she's messaging you, then message her.

When she'll be comfortable to call, she will call you.

And things that girls say on chats, don't happen in real life.

So don't rush.

You two should enjoy the secret romance for now.

Initially, she"ll introduce you as a friend.

Then slowly she will start calling you her boyfriend.

And call you sweetheart, teddy bear, smallie, in private.

Finally, in the third semester, you two will start going out together.

And in the fourth semester...

...you will have a regular entry in the girl's hostel.

- You mean I've got another year. - Only for going out together.

- Sex is a year after that. - At the Girl's Hostel.

You guys can talk respectfully about her.

I mean she's my wife...

- What? - Wife?

I mean she could be.

I won't talk to you guys if you behave like this.

Grow up, man. Sex is an expression of love.

- Mom and dad do it too. - What?

He's talking about his parents.

Bad people. Brother, in front of them.

- You're the Dopa, aren't you? - I haven't downloaded anything yet.

Akanksha is my girl.

If you try to hit on her, you'll regret it.

Whom are you calling 'my girl'? She is our sister-in-law.

You are mistaken, sir. Let's talk about this.

There is no mistake.

Akku's friend told me that these two are having a thing.

So what if they are.

I'll bring boys.

I'll bring boys.

Akanksha is mine. Only mine.

Get lost.

I gifted her Ferro Rocher of 549 rupees.

Get lost. And don't come back again.

I can take on 15 guys like you.

I am a district level reject of wrestling.

Asshole. Get lost.

- Get lost. - Get lost.

- Get lost. - Get lost.

He gifted her Roger Federer worth 550!

Asshole.

And Ankit, don't be scared.

Why should he be scared?

She even told her friends now.

- The girl is ready. Propose her now. - Yes.

But you just said that decent girls take time to open up.

Don't listen to him. He would've made things worse.

No. Jaat did the right thing.

Sister-in-law is respected like a mother.

I know about Sister-in-law but mothers as well?

Why are you laughing? Keep quiet.

You've started talking too much these days, haven't you Fatso?

- Chirag. - Yes?

I'm thinking of baring my heart to her.

How romantic!

Look, I am getting goosebumps.

What will you say?

I love you.

What happened?

- It's nothing. - Tell me.

I find 'I love you' very confusing.

What can be clearer than this?

What will Akanksha say to that?

What?

If she says I love you too.

It means I love you and others as well.

She will say I too love you.

Yes. That means others love you and so do I.

What the...

I'll tell her in Hindi then.

- Yeah...that's good. Okay? - Yes.

That will be right.

In fact, I even wrote a poem for her.

- Yes. - You mean a poem?

Yes, that.

Show me. Show me.

Go to sleep. Idiots.

- I will read this out for her. - Yes. That will be right.

- Isn't it? - Yes.

Wow!

"I don't realise when the morning arrives while I am chatting with you."

"I see God in your display picture."

"Now life is all about you...and only you."

"I am in love. I am in love only with you."

"Akku...I am saying this from the bottom of my heart."

"I Love..."

"I am in love with you."

Are you there?

I don't want to say anything here.

Let's meet at the campus restaurant tomorrow.

Okay.

She is so romantic, man.

Listen, it's your first date.

Be there on time with a gift.

Don't forget to apply perfume.

And, don't go like this.

Go fully prepared.

Now that's a look.

Perfect!

We're sorry, the number you've dialed is not in service at this time.

First date.

This day doesn't come in everyone's college life.

But it has for him. And he is nervous.

Nervous because for the first time in his life he's over-prepared.

The gelled hair, the watch, the aww gift...

...the party clothes which was meant for his birthday.

The wallet filled with money borrowed from friends.

These etiquettes which he has learnt from films.

Even Bhansali didn't wait so eagerly for 'Padmavati'.

He will remember this day till death.

Sir, actually I am waiting for a friend.

Are you waiting for Akanksha?

And she isn't answering your phone either.

Right?

Do you know why?

Because she loves...

...my puppy more than you.

He fell for this too!

You are such an asshole.

Come out, everyone.

- Come on. - Come out, everyone.

Loverboy. Loverboy. Loverboy. Loverboy.

- Loverboy. - Loverboy.

He thinks he'll impress a girl with a clean shave.

You're really romantic at heart!

Look at his face.

- Here is your Akanksha. - Hi.

Wait.

Loverboy. Loverboy. Loverboy. Loverboy.

Loverboy. Loverboy. Loverboy.

'When did you sleep? Did you study or not?'

- 'Why didn't you attend the lecture? - Yeah, actually.'

'When I called her, she was saying there are people around.'

'If she's messaging you, then message her back.'

'The girl is ready. Propose her now.'

Akku, I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart.

I love...

Bro...he's crying.

Pull out your phones. Let's take his picture.

Ankit. Ankit. Ankit, listen.

Ankit.

Ankit, open the door.

At least I love you.

Jaat, will he commit suicide?

He's an asshole.

- Yes. - It's all right, Ankit. Come on.

Jhantoo, you're a bad-bad-bad person.

Really brother, you're such a dog.

You humiliated him and that too in public.

- Come out, Ankit. - Ankit.

Open the door, Ankit.

Look what's written here.

Akanksha, your eyes are just like my mother's.

Bloody motherfucker.

So he says...

"Your display picture..."

He could've written it the other way round, but no...

Look at this nuance.

- "I see God in your display picture." - Wow! Wow.

"I am in love with you."

Your display picture is so nice.

It's from the facebook, isn't it?

They made the poor guy cry.

No one can touch Virat Kohli.

Kohli's going to score.

Someone get me a brownie, not pastry.

Don't you know that brownie is so lucky?

"Everything's stubborn."

"It's the result of your desires."

"This heart is stubborn."

"Walks on fire with his eyes closed."

"Let this storm calm..."

"Let the naive heart...calm down."

"Let this storm calm..."

"Let the naive heart...calm down."

"Everything's stubborn."

"It's the reaction of desires."

"Heart's stubborn."

"It's the reaction of desires."

Exudes boundless compassion!

I told you he will remember this day until his last breath.

Every man is a little mushy from within.

But he mustn't reveal it to the world.

Ankit.

Your notebook.

Thanks.

The poem was quite cheesy.

But I liked it.

This is my real number.

"Asshole..."

And this look suits you...

I told you...she will fall for you as soon as you shave.

You never believed me.

You got her number, it calls for a treat.

You want a treat.

- No, I don't. - No, wait.

- Call it a favor. - Wait, Jhantoo

- No. - Listen...

"We have become deaf and dumb in your love."

"Poor boys are falling madly in love with you."

"Your love's made me endure all pain."

"Your love's turned my wounds into rewards."

"You've never given me anything."

"I've got more pain than happiness."

"You've made my desires run wild."

"And showed me the dream of a cool life."

"You've to take me across on the other side..."

"...and fulfill your promises."

"How long am I going to curse my fate..."

"...I want to spend my life with you."

"We have become deaf and dumb in your love."

"Poor boys are falling madly in love with you."

"Your love's made me endure all pain."

"Your love's turned my wounds into rewards."