Original subtitles

Hey, you've reached Alicia. I can't answer just now.

Alicia?

I'm almost done!

Vanessa's on the phone.

Tell her I'll call her back.

No, she says it's important.

Alicia?

What have you done?

Nothing. I'll be there soon, okay?

Has someone died?

No, I just thought I'd see if you've decided to move home again.

No, I haven't.

Are you on the toilet?

Please, Vanessa. Did you want something?

-You forgot your sketchbook. -Was that all? I'll get it later.

Okay?

-Okay. Bye. -Bye.

TWO SISTERS

Hey... Titti?

Oh, Alicia, hi!

You're not sparing with the perfume!

Hey...

It's huge. You're lucky, sweetheart.

HOW DID THE MEETING GO? HUGS, MARTIN

Here, drink this.

How did you know I have a headache?

I know you.

Do you never get headaches?

-No. Because I go home on time. -So lame.

Says the one wearing sunglasses inside.

You should probably keep them on.

-Donna says you've got a visitor. -What?

Hey, have you thought at all about the wedding?

No, we just got engaged.

Yes, but in situations like this, you can never be too early.

You don't want any second-hand rubbish, right?

I've always dreamed of getting married at my grandma's on Gotland.

Barefoot!

Barefoot? On Gotland?

Will you have a buffet as well?

-Yes! Why not? -Of course not.

I think Alicia's trying to say that we want a more modern wedding.

A more modern wedding... on Gotland?

I see Gotland as a medieval town.

Hardly modern.

If you pull out this plug...

-Don't. It'll disappear. -What happens?

-The whole screen? -Hey, Dad.

-Hey, Fighter! -Aren't you in Thailand?

What do you mean, Thailand?

Why would I be in Thailand? I'm an artist, not a backpacker.

-Do I look like a backpacker? -Yeah.

-Huh? -Yeah, you look... Whatever.

-Shall we grab a smoke? -Yes, yum! Come.

Who was that little puma in reception? What's her name?

Her name is "Too Young For You".

Your humour! You got that from me, obviously.

If you wanted money, you could have texted me so I could say no via text.

That hurt. That was below the belt, sweetheart.

My god.

What's wrong with wanting to see your eldest daughter for once, huh?

We could just have lunch like two adults.

You don't eat lunch.

I'm going to... meet Alicia for lunch.

Ah! The princess. How is she?

No idea. She's moved out.

Nice! You'll have the place to yourself.

Hey, how's... how's your mum?

You could have asked her 20 years ago.

I didn't mean...

Don't misunderstand me. I thought I'd ask her to dinner...

-Sure. -What?

No. No!

What the hell, are you dying?

That wasn't funny.

Sorry, sorry. Damn, that was bad. What a bad joke. I'm sorry.

-You don't do that. It's not funny. -Darling, I'm sorry.

Could you give this to her? From me?

Buy a fucking stamp and post it.

Buy a stamp, and pay 20 kronor?

Speaking of which... do you have 1,000 kronor for a coffee?

-At the fucking Grand Hotel? -No, seriously.

-Lend Daddy a hundred or two. -I have to work.

Can't you just give that to Mum? Please?

Shoo!

Love you.

It's so charming! So cute, Alicia!

-Thanks. -Excuse me!

-A bottle of champagne, two glasses. -Yep!

-Champagne? -Mm.

Let me see one more time.

I guess Mr Perfect scattered rose petals over the bed?

There were rose petals everywhere.

-For real? -Yeah!

-God! -I'm telling you, like a dream!

-Yeah, it was totally perfect. -And then?

Then he lifted me up and carried me into the bedroom.

Sure, that'll be fine.

-He carried you into the bedroom... -There you go.

And then... you had the fuck of your lives?

Like five times.

You kind of make me want Philip.

Come on, I'm joking.

Hi!

Hi!

I didn't know if it was you, but wow, how nice!

This is... It's Lucas,

who lives in Barcelona, studying at art school.

Although, you spend most of your time with your skateboard, right?

And you eat lunch full-time, so we all find our passions, right?

-Who is...? -Sorry! This is Phille's girlfriend.

Or, former girlfriend, now... fiancée.

-Congratulations. Nice. -Thanks.

-What's your name? -Alicia.

Lucas. But, that's great.

Yeah, great!

Truly. We're going somewhere else.

But I'm going to powder my nose before we... go.

-Do that. -But it was nice seeing you.

Yeah, it really was.

So you and Phille? Damn, that's awesome.

Let me see.

So, diamonds are still a thing in Östermalm?

Yeah, for sure.

The bill.

Right, sorry! I thought... Okay.

Just a second, let me see.

That should work.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

It says, "Declined".

That's weird. I used it earlier today, so...

One second...

I'll just check... I'm sure I've got another card here.

-You know what? Here, I'll get it. -Okay.

-No! -Yes, yes.

We're celebrating an engagement, so...

Oh, congratulations!

Thank you.

-So, that's yours. Thank you so much. -It worked? Thanks.

Cheers.

Cheers!

Yuck!

-What are you doing? -You can't eat sausage.

Don't you know I have a real job?

I can't steam fucking broccoli at work. I don't have time.

-And you've been smoking. -No.

-Yes, you have. You're lying. -I have not.

Look.

Yeah? I know.

What? Do you know him too?

What? No. But everyone knows who he is, he's one of those...

DJ, producer types.

You should know that, since you're always out.

Is he going to be in one of your TV programs?

No. We're texting.

-Are you? -Are you?

Why are you so surprised? Why can't I?

No, I just thought he dated like... younger girls.

-Poser models, you know? -Like you, then?

Can I see?

-He's really cute. -Mm. He is really cute.

-So! Now you're following him! -Are you crazy?

What? You said you were chatting.

Hey, um...

There's something I have to tell you.

That you sneak up in the morning and poop while Prince Philip is asleep?

I just... Why do you have to be so fucking mean all the time?

-But do you, Alicia? -No!

Whatever. You know nothing about being in a real relationship.

Don't I?

Your so-called ex who just wanted to hang out at home with you?

He doesn't count, Vanessa, you dated for a few weeks.

Suck my dick!

Hello?

-Hey. -What the fuck do you want?

Need money for Botox?

-I never got my sketchbook. -The bed, I think.

What is it?

I'm getting married.

Congratulations!

Shit!

-Are... are you happy? -Of course I'm happy! That's amazing!

God... I was, um... doing...

I'm about to have a meeting... a telephone meeting.

Yeah, now. Can I call you after that? It'll take about 45 minutes.

Sorry.

Okay.

Maybe you can leave your keys, too.

Thanks.

-Hey. -Hey.

-One match? -You always win.

Please?

Or we could always go buy ice cream?

Or I can go buy ice cream, you mean?

Ice cream makes everyone so happy!

You just ate some chocolate.

No.

What did you have in your hand, then?

-Nothing. -Nothing?

-No. -Mm-hmm.

-Hey? -Mm?

Very cute. Very sweet. But I found something odd.

Okay, go.

Do you want to lose?

Ha! You wish.

Hey? What are you thinking about last names?

What do you mean?

I don't know, a double surname might be nice.

-Can't we have the same last name? -Yeah, of course. I just mean...

-We could have both our names. -Is that Vanessa's suggestion?

Yes! Yes!

What the fuck! Shitty fucking game.

God, Philip, take it easy, it's just a game.

You don't want to change your name?

You've always complained about your common last name.

I just thought it might be nice to have a double surname.

That's all!

I don't get it, is she going to...

be called "von Stenbock" now all of a sudden?

Like a fucking star sign.

-He's Philip von Stenbock? -I don't know.

It's so weird that she won't have the same name as me anymore.

I carried her around in nappies, pushed her around in a doll cart,

and then all of a sudden we won't have the same last name?

Was that all? Or did I say I'm dieting?

No, here.

Ta-da!

-Love you. -Love you.

How did it go with Martin?

How did it go?

Good.

Aha?

I left.

You're joking?

You're joking.

He went to buy cigarettes. I just...

But you've apologised?

What for?

What if someone ditched you while you were buying cigarettes?

That's really mean.

He's playing pool.

How do you know?

Instagram.

-I hate pool. -You hate everything.

You just need to clean up a bit. Change your clothes.

Hmm?

He's not here.

Shall we go, then?

We'll have a beer.

-You have to smash it in really hard. -Yeah, I'll try, wait.

That was awesome! You didn't sink a single one.

So aggressive.

Come on!

Boring.

He's over there.

Shit.

Is it my turn? Should I get that one? How do you do this?

I'll put it... there.

Yeah. You're solids, so...

There!

-Hold on! -It's so boring.

Hi.

Are you following me?

-No. -I feel like I see you everywhere.

Stockholm's not really a metropolis, so... these things happen.

You disappeared the other night.

Yeah, shit... No, I'm sorry. Something came up, so I had to leave.

Did it also stop you from texting me back?

Yeah. Exactly.

I can teach you, if you like?

Um... oh? No, I don't think I need any pool lessons.

-It's fine. -Really?

We're here to drink beer, right? Not really for the pool?

Otherwise it would be snooker.

If you play pool without drinking, it's called snooker.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Cool.

But you can come over later, and...

If you want to learn to hit the ball.

See you.

You're the worst at cruising.

He has a black belt in pool, apparently.

You could smile a bit.

Yeah, like that.

-"I'll teach you to hit the ball." -Just go over there and be nice.

Just nice? Easy.

Go over and say, "Hey..."

-"Nice"? -Yeah.

-Hey, guys, having fun? -Yeah, like that.

-Okay, watch. -He left.

-What? -Martin. He left.

Subtitles: Lily Ray www.plint.com