Original subtitles

- I'll ask you again. - Are you drugging us?

It's called microdosing and it's totally safe.

You could go to jail for this.

You know, some drugs can help a lot...

Help people a lot.

- He's watching us. - The threats.

They don't come from you, do they?

Why would he want to threaten Masha?

- She's the best, damn it. - You get violent.

- Yes. - You know.

Tomorrow you will be 21 years old.

He turns 21 years old.

- We weren't close. - Oh, I don't think so.

Many of us have been hurt by other people.

I am a drug addict.

I have two children who do not speak to me.

I have a profession that ended in a heartbeat. Because I am here?

IT IS GOOD TO DIE.

No, no, no! No! No!

Just two comments, one question.

First, happy birthday.

Second, it wasn't your fault.

Ok, now my question.

Why do you tell people that we weren't united?

You are not real. You are not real.

You are not real. You are not real.

Uh... I'm standing here, Zoe.

You see? You couldn't do that with a ghost.

Hey. Can you hug me.

- This is screwed up. - Well, yes,

I could be very screwed up.

It could be a dream, without a doubt it could be the...

I don't know, the smoothie you drank for dinner.

The point is that I am here. Well? What did dad always say?

Celebrate every moment, big or small,

because that moment may not last.

Now I need you to listen to me very, very carefully, okay?

Good. That? That?

Don't tell people we weren't close. Agree?

You're my only legacy outside of... you know.

I miss you everyday.

Every day.

I know.

I feel so lonely.

I did not know what it was to feel alone

because I always had you.

I know.

- Zach? - Zoe?

Oh hello. Hey, I heard a noise.

And I heard you talking.

Yes, I guess I was talking to myself.

About what?

I miss him.

Happy Birthday.

This will be difficult.

So you think?

We can do it.

The trauma they witnessed...

I should have been more attentive to you.

But they are so strong that I forget.

I'm still a work in progress, you know.

Excuse me, my loves.

Happy Birthday.

- Happy birthday. - Thanks.

Well. Did it just happen to me or did someone else dream

a little more vividly last night?

Because mine were, oh...

No, I had... I had... I had a wonderful dream.

Yes? He was a Beatle.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

No kidding, he was one of the Fantastic Four.

He played at Shea Stadium in front of 50,000 people, sold out.

Wait, were you a Beatle?

- That? Yes it was. - I could feel how it is

really be a beatle.

"Whatever they have, Dee, don't stop giving them to me, okay?" Well.

- Which Beatle? - Thanks.

I think it was John. I mean, I never saw myself

but John wasn't there and I was singing a ballad with Paul.

- Shall I sing you a verse now? - No!

- Hell no. - Yes please!

No it was beautiful

believe me. Do you know what we sang?

We were singing Something, which is, uh...

It's a George song, technically.

There was dream logic, I guess.

But we find a wonderful harmony.

That was my wedding song.

I guess that pissed me off.

I do not know why. It was a beautiful wedding

and it's... it's a beautiful song.

Forks don't lie.

Okay, let's get this out.

And, uh... no. No.

Here you have. It is all you need. Well.

Spoon. For... the cereals.

- Good day. - Hi.

Sorry for being late, if it's late.

You know, I still have a little morning sickness.

Maybe I rested too well.

Is this just, uh... what I see or does it have any seasoning?

It's just oatmeal. Only oatmeal.

Yes. Good.

Okay, team, listen up!

Let's quickly review today's program.

Wait, wait, I want Lars to tell his dream

because it looked good. Oh no.

Come on, you can't come in so cool.

- Talking about your dream and... - Come on.

- Tell your dream! - Tell your dream!

- Tell your dream! - Tell your dream!

Okay, good. Good good good.

- If you want to know... - That was easy.

- Give the light. - Ah!

How did you give birth?

As is well.

And all of you were there.

It was crazy, but, um, it was beautiful.

Puja! Bid!

You gave birth. To a baby.

Without epidural. I am stronger than I look.

- And we were all there? - You especially, Tony.

It seems that you were the father.

Ahhh! Agree.

I can still see it, vividly.

A beautiful child.

And, uh... you know what, Tony? You were crying like a baby.

You had a son. You said you never thought

that day would come, and...

you started crying.

You're a fucking lunatic, you know that, Lars?

Yes, I know. But it is always good to have a second opinion. I think.

Hello, Frances. Hi Yao!

Hi Hi. Uh... you have a visitor.

- Yes? - And the...

It came from Canada.

Did you say Canada?

Yes. Yes. Uh...

Yes.

Shall I take you with him? Yes Yes.

How do I even start to say I'm sorry?

Don't do it, Paul.

Frances.

- Oh Jesus. - You said you were 1.80.

You started lying from the beginning.

Well, I didn't lie about my love for you.

- What about Ari? - Did you really need surgery?

Do you even have a child?

Or is that part of the trap to get my money?

I thought you would say that, so I brought a check.

The full payment, plus interest.

I've been trying to contact you for days.

And when I saw that you weren't responding, I got on a plane.

Your agent told me he would meet you here.

Well, they confiscate our phone here,

So I have no way of knowing if you were really trying

to contact me.

I do not understand why your silence.

I sent you the money, and then it's like...

you disappeared from the face of the earth,

that's why I assumed that I...

That you were scamming me and it was all a sham.

Ironic.

I convinced myself that you were the sham.

I because?

Well how do I say it? Hey...

I read your books. Everybody.

There is not a hint of truth in any of them.

They are very far-fetched.

That? Yes, I mean, you don't go deep.

You just take some romance

and a themed cocktail of your choice,

sexism, ageism, racism, capacitism.

There is no story. Just "isms."

I do not do that! I don't know...

you don't do that when you write a whole story...

I don't have to explain it to you, but it's not what I do.

Are you saying that you faded away

why didn't you like my books?

- I didn't tolerate your books. - I don't understand how someone

can tolerate your books. And I panicked.

I thought, "Oh my gosh, I fell in love"

of a total and absolute farce ».

I come here

with the considerable expense involved, to prove otherwise,

that you deserve my love. That you are a significant being,

dimensional, although someone who literally

cannot write anything.

Frances, things could have been so good between us.

If only I hadn't read your...

- Kill him. - ...lousy books.

Do it. Now.

I think he needs water.

Baby, wake up.

Oh!

I think maybe they are giving him too much of that thing

or... I'm fine.

It's just... Suddenly it made me sleepy.

Yes. Did it make you sleepy?

Hey, maybe we'll start lowering your dose, okay?

Oh, do you think, Yao?

Never mind. Fuck your 'Nevermind', man.

She passed out at breakfast.

I may not feel 100 percent.

What's on my... face?

It's oatmeal. Oatmeal.

Why do I have oatmeal on my face?

Because your head fell on your breakfast.

Oh good, I'm sure I'm fine. No?

- Yes. - Did a visitor come

to see me? Did that happen?

No, we don't allow visitors, Frances.

Agree. So I must have been hallucinating

because I also thought you gave birth to a baby.

No, that part did happen. In my dreams.

Tony was the father.

Enough already, okay?

I think I don't feel very well

because all this is very confusing to me.

Yeah, well, come on, I'll take you to your room.

- No, I'll take her. - Not well.

- You've done enough. - Oh fuck you, Tony.

Okay, okay, huh,

that is not exactly appropriate behavior for a therapist,

but we will discuss it later. Let's go.

Was it Avena Quaker at the time?

Because it's my favorite oatmeal.

Yes, come on. You know,

I lost my virginity to a Quaker.

Hey, inner voice. Let's go.

He was very tender and loving.

- Oh. Yes. - You know, it was almost corny.

Ok, come on. Let's go.

- Like your oatmeal. - Okay, come on,

let's go to bed. I mean... What?

- ...let's go to your room. - Very well.

- How much are you giving him? - Slowly and carefully.

- Oh wait. Do not tell me. - I must rot too, right?

Hmm. I think I'll share a quote from Maya Angelou,

if you don't mind. "Today is a wonderful day."

I've never seen one like this before.

Ah. What a fabulous date, Dee. Fabulous.

Bye, Delilah.

Oh, he got in back there. I have it.

No, I could do it.

I say, I like it, I like you to do it,

- But for the record... - Good.

- I can do it. - Agree.

I... I can't believe how real it seemed.

You know, he was there.

Paul was standing in front of me

and brought me flowers.

But you know.

But what?

What he said about my books was very true.

Only superficial interpretations you know, of what the feeling is

of the moment, and I... just put some romance into it.

They are hollow.

Maybe I'm hollow.

But he was right, I can't write.

Hey. Hey, look at me.

You can write.

Look at me, I know you can write. Agree?

I mean, I, I read... I read a snippet.

It was very good.

You may not play soccer now, but you could.

I bet you were very good.

But me, I never was.

I think I'm going to vomit.

That?

Oh. Oh, you're going to throw up. Oh I'm leaving.

Oh, day...

Thank you.

Hi Dee.

Did you ask to see me?

Ah. Please sit.

Heard you told Tony to rot.

I will apologize.

Apologizing is good.

And I think I owe you an apology.

Lately, I've been meditating, I've been, uh...

seeing your face.

What happened to Connelly.

I underestimated the trauma you went through, Dee.

I'm sorry.

I'm fine.

Did you take your dose again?

Dog.

Lowering the dose of psilocybin can make you dangerous.

What do you mean?

Do you think I'm the one threatening you with death?

Dee.

We are on the brink of something wonderful.

Stay with me together, okay?

- Tell me what you need? - I'm fine.

Are you okay? Mm. Oh oh.

- Tell me. - Well.

Mm.

Actually...

I need you to stop fucking Yao.

Do you think it is capable of modifying it?

I don't know.

That's why I need you to do it for him.

And are you capable of modifying it?

I am.

Mm.

I think so.

- I'm proud of you. - You came here, you were devastated,

and now go ahead. You know what you want.

- Say what you want. - I had help.

Mm.

Masha, Yao can never know.

Well, you will never know.

He never knew.

You will never know.

Mamma!

Mother!

Wow, that was great. Direct from the diaphragm.

- Oh yeah. Even better. - Like giving birth.

Oh shut up. Very funny.

Do you want to talk about it?

No, what is there to talk about?

It was a crazy, drug-induced dream.

Oh come on, Lars.

You obviously have a thing for babies.

It was the reason my relationship ended.

Ray wants to have a child

and his sister even volunteered

as a substitute belly. Only me...

I don't accept that. Why not?

I mean, you know, besides the overcrowding

- and the impending apocalypse. - I just believe that the world.

It is a difficult place for a child at the moment.

Was it difficult for you as a child?

Ah.

They made fun of me.

I knew from a very young age that I was gay.

And the other children too.

And my father too.

In fact I blamed my mother.

Your genetic makeup.

He did not carry in his DNA to have a homosexual son.

Of course not.

Heavens.

And then, in the end, he left her.

Although I suspect that it was rather escaping from me,

their genetically defective offspring.

Zach visited me last night.

What?

Yes. I was in my bathroom

and it appeared out of nowhere.

And it was not a dream, he was there.

It was more real than ever.

Did you tell your parents about this?

No, it seemed to me that they couldn't handle it, you know.

A fragile day. So...

Yes, but you shouldn't deal with this alone.

I'm not alone.

Don't be ridiculous. Oh yeah.

It's very safe.

It doesn't seem very safe, Yao.

- Hey, it's going to be... - It's going to be pure adrenaline.

It will, it will be fabulous, honey.

I don't feel like looking fabulous today.

Oh come on, please? We are here, right?

What's the worst that can happen?

- Team. - I know this is a difficult day.

- Your son's 21st birthday. - Don't talk about my son.

- Enough. My God. - It's his birthday. It is joyful!

Can't you be, be happy?

Never?

Do you want to jump, Napoleon?

You jump. Well. Ahead. Do it.

Oh my God!

- Are you okay, Napoleon? - I'm fine! I'm very well!

I'm perfectly ok.

Dammit.

Iuju!

Hey Yes. Yes, there it goes.

I don't know if it is planned or not, but it is doing it.

Oh, she's drugging us. Yes.

- Are you sure? - I promise you.

- Good. - I wouldn't make you do something bad.

I say, well, I would, but about this,

It is so exciting. A great shot of adrenaline.

Of life!

I'm terrified. That's part, right?

Do something that scares you.

It's like the John Burroughs quote:

"Jump and the network will appear."

It means that you take a risk, that you try.

I remember the mountaineer who...

- Napoleon, shut up! - I'm up here. I will do it.

- If, according. - It's very safe.

Well.

- Oh, yell for help. - Don't forget to yell.

- Hurry. - On the count of three.

One.

- Two. - God!

Three!

Oh my God! You see?

Damn it. I told you.

- Marvelous. - I told you. It was wonderful.

Do you want to do it again?

No! No? Oh, come on.

YOU ARE THE FOLLOWING.

Thanks for bringing me here.

What?

I love this place.

You're high.

Yes, I also love Masha.

There is something in it. So alone...

You know, it makes you feel safe.

I know what you are referring to.

Makes you want to surrender.

Sometimes I wish we could hand over all the money.

I really hate that money.

There is no going back, right?

Hmm. I mean, unless...

- Unless what? - How about

if we fall in love with each other again?

Like old times.

I still remember the first time I asked you out.

In high school.

- I got goose bumps. - I was so nervous.

- I still get goose bumps. - I miss my old life.

Our previous life.

Everything is still there.

We just have to dig it up.

What are you doing?

I will say it one more time.

- What are you doing? - Sorry, I was...

he was meditating.

I didn't think that, uh, you did that kind of thing.

I seem to do a lot of things

that I never thought possible.

- Okay, fine. I will ask you. - Like what?

Well, like this place, to begin with.

I mean, what the heck?

But I don't take oxycodone.

And the most important,

oxycodone wasn't just for my knee.

I have been numbing many things for many years.

And now here I am, facing everything, and...

I do it without the effect of drugs. I'm not having the best time.

Look, I know I was pretty upset this morning, but...

I still realized that you got

too bad about Lars, you know,

and her imaginary baby product of hallucination

and that that you were the father and...

I was not present for the birth of either of my two children.

With the eldest, he was working.

Had a match.

But with the youngest, uh...

I was high is all I remember.

I should never have come to this place.

I think maybe this is exactly where you should be.

You are a good person, Frances.

I say, I know I always say it.

- But it's... - You never said it.

- Really? - I always say it,

over and over, hoping, you know, that you believe it.

Well, I knew someone had said it.

Every time I close my eyes here, I, I

I see those things that I don't want to face.

Every fucking mistake I made.

Maybe you shouldn't close your eyes.

I'm not sure I want this enough, Frances.

I won't make it.

Well, what do you mean? You do not...

Won't you get where?

At the end of the week.

At the end of the year.

- What are you... - What are you saying?

- What are you saying? - Any.

I'm not saying anything. Me...

Ah! I do not know what I'm saying. Forget it.

I will not forget. Me...

I'm worried about you.

No. You don't have to worry about me.

I know it is not necessary. Me...

I want to do it.

- Well, you see, like I said. - You're a good person.

You're a liar.

Yes.

I love this place, damn it! Oh my God.

Dammit.

Why is everyone fucking here?

- I don't understand... - I don't understand.

- I am very stupid. - Stupid sometimes.

- Hello. - Hello.

- It's okay. - Sorry.

Are you okay?

Uh, I'm fine.

What is all this fucking?

I'm not in the mood, okay?

Mm. Lars, not today.

Why the tears? What's going on?

I...

Only me...

I get fed up sometimes, okay? Only me...

I just... get fed up.

Yes me too.

Are you fed up with what?

To pretend.

Pretend to be okay with myself

with his happy life,

pretend to be happy for the sake of my daughters, happy.

Happy as it doesn't bother me to see... marriages,

even unhappy, doing what married couples do,

like fucking in a jacuzzi.

Why should I bother? Why it drives me crazy

that my ex and her young partner

they are fucking for Florence, what...

That she's probably rubbing her teeth.

Against his long pencil thin dick right now

while my daughters are in the next room,

- because I? Why me... - me... damn it...

Why can't I tolerate hearing even a reference to my wedding song

inadvertently nailing something to the table?

I'm just fed up! I'm sick of everything.

Don't look at me like, like...

Don't look at me like I'm a fucking psycho, okay?

Which... I probably am.

Carmel.

Listen to me.

I spent most of my adulthood in psychotherapy.

It could be the counselor of this center, honestly.

What you have to do is dissociate yourself from it.

Hating him has its benefits, stabbing him even more.

But dissociation is the only lasting cure.

How do I do it?

Oh, you do it the traditional way.

You meet someone new. And you will.

Because you are a vibrant, beautiful woman.

Don't give me that.

- I'm telling you because it's true. - Agree?

Not only that, you are passionate.

You are a passionate, vibrant and beautiful woman.

Heavens, Carmel.

There are a lot of men waiting for you.

Geez, what is Masha putting in your shakes?

I think so, right?

It terrifies me.

Yes come here.

Let's go.

I thought you were going to the hot springs.

Not after what you told me.

Of course not.

Savages.

First you must make a wish.

21!

I'd like to make a toast.

Eh...

First, for Zach,

who I wish was here right now.

Hey, he would die of embarrassment with this speech.

Without a doubt, without a doubt, that was his thing.

Eh...

Yes. Happy birthday, Zach.

Happy birthday, Zach.

You know yesterday my parents said we could go

if I didn't want to be locked up here on my birthday,

but the truth is

I would not want to be anywhere else.

Oddly enough, maybe, maybe it's the shakes,

but, uh, you are starting to be

like a family to me.

I don't know how the hell that can be.

But I don't know, na...

No one really treated me like a person

in the last three years. Hey...

They treated me as a patient

and without a doubt a victim, but...

not really as a person so...

Sorry.

I am very grateful to you.

And I made friends here.

Hey, no one should be alone on their birthday, and I'm not.

I have you weird people.

Hey, but let's not forget, good deeds also pay off.

And if it comes to paying,

there is a tradition on my birthday.

And it hurts me to say it, but it's that my dad sings.

Oh yes, Napoleon!

- Well thanks. - Thank you very much, Carmel.

I sing this song to my children

- since they were little. - Tortures us with it.

- That? - That?

And, uh, it doesn't matter.

And, uh, it became, as Zoe says, uh,

in a birthday tradition, with which you can dance

if you feel like it. So uh...

Ooh, we're all intrigued, Napoleón.

Yes. Look at this.

Look at this, huh?

- Oh yeah. - Iuju!

That looks good on you.

Oh, this is also part of the tradition.

Yes I think so.

Oh. Iuju!

What the heck, huh?

Well, when you ask it like that...

I am a very good dancer.

Let's go baby.

- Sorry. I don't "dance out of pity." - Yeah right if.

You know you want it.

- Oh, your secret came out, Lars. - Hmm?

- You're a good person. - Well, it's still a secret.

Don't count it.

Look at Tony and Frances.

There's something going on there, I think.

I think something is happening here.

Oh. Oh.

- Are you and Yao okay? - Better.

I feel like we are moving to a new place.

Well.

I can't do this without you.

Big party.

- Dance with your lady. - I think I will.

Happy birthday.

Although I'm not... I'm not acting like a lady.

He is here, right?

Are you.

You are the key.

Happy birthday.