Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:06,380
This is Pam
2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:12,136
Oh, my God, are you sure?
Okay, okay, we'll be
right there
3
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,013
Everybody
4
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,723
The balloon is falling
- What?
5
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,350
There's this balloon
that has been floating
6
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,352
in the rafters
of the warehouse
for, like, ever.
7
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,478
And
8
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,440
Okay, it's not
it doesn't sound cool
you just have to see it
9
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,112
Well, I guess it
doesn't look
that cool either
10
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,489
But it's been up there
a long time,
11
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,950
so it's become
a pretty big deal
12
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,954
Wow. It's the end
of an era.
13
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,748
You did
a good job, buddy
14
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,791
Now it's time
to come home
15
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:47,212
I remember when that
balloon went up there
I was still with Gil
16
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,256
We were so happy
17
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,634
When that went up there
I had hair like Rapunzel.
18
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,597
How long do you think
it's been up there, Kevin?
19
00:00:56,765 --> 00:01:00,809
I just remember pushing aside
my silky bangs to say,
20
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,145
"Look, a balloon.'
21
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:06,065
My Warcraft clan was
still on speaking terms
22
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,233
My kid didn't
have a face tattoo
23
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,736
of going back to school
24
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,988
And I was still
just a paper salesman
25
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:17,409
This has been fun, Pam
Thanks for calling us
all down here.
26
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,291
Kill the balloon
Kill the balloon!
27
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,753
Kill the balloon
Kill the balloon
28
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,310
Hey
29
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,896
So they accidentally gave us
an extra egg sandwich
this morning
30
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,065
Who wants it?
- Ooh! Right here
31
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,274
Right here! Pick me
32
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,068
Allow me to solve
your problem then
33
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:52,486
Nellie
34
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:53,695
Mmm
35
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,368
Ugh! That is disgusting
36
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,496
Do you call that
a King James
breakfast pie?
37
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:04,164
What brings you to town?
38
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:09,294
Certainly not
the Harry Houdini museum
What a nobody
39
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,297
"Oh, look,
some Hungarian just found
their way out of a sack,
40
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,049
"let's build a shrine.'
41
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,300
No, I've come
to work here.
42
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,510
What?
43
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:20,097
How could Robert
transfer Nellie here
after the Sabre store debacle?
44
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,890
She stinks of failure
45
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,059
The fact that she
could show her face
around here
46
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,686
is an embarrassment
47
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,772
an identical situation
48
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:32,067
Robert did say
you'd be joining us.
Welcome, I'm Tony
49
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,027
What?
50
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,866
Okay, I made a mistake
I thought it
might go unnoticed.
51
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,034
But, I'm Toby
52
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,245
You messed up
saying your name?
53
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,830
It happens, okay?
54
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,040
So let's just find
an empty desk for you
55
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,836
and I'm sure
Robert will be with you
as soon as he gets in.
56
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,920
That one looks empty
57
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,547
No. It's Andy's office
58
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,757
Oh, is it?
59
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:59,428
I have one simple
philosophy in business
60
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,097
if the seat is open
the job is open.
61
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,434
It's how I came
to briefly race
a Formula One car
62
00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:09,646
The three slowest laps
ever recorded.
63
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,277
Another beautiful day
in Tallahassee.
64
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,529
Good morning, Alonzo
65
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,031
Good morning, Erin
66
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,742
How are you?
How's your family doing?
67
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,077
Bye
68
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:28,290
Look at this place.
Five rooms and I
get to clean them all
69
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,210
That's right.
I'm a maid
for an old lady
70
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:35,172
Her grandson's
staying with us, too,
because he ran out of money
71
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,008
Listen to me,
bragging away
72
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,845
Nellie
Robert
73
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:47,059
How are you adjusting
to life in Scranton so far?
74
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,979
So far, so good
The water pressure in
the hotel is marvelous
75
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:56,902
It is astounding
what a difference
that can make, isn't it?
76
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:57,986
Mm-hmm
77
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,823
Now, let's find you
something fun to do here
shall we?
78
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,951
Oh, I've already found it
79
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:07,788
a natural next step
It fits like a glove.
80
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,373
We have a manager
81
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:12,793
Do you really?
Because it is 10:00
82
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:14,753
I've been in this
chair for an hour
83
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,673
and no other manager
has come and sat on my lap
84
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,721
Excuse me
has anyone seen
Andy this morning?
85
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,268
Yeah, that's weird
He's usually here by now
Right, guys?
86
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,771
Hello?
Andy, it's Robert
87
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,439
Why aren't you at work?
88
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,776
Hey, Robert,
I really wish I could come
into work today
89
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,361
but I'm super sick.
90
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,700
Please come to
work immediately
91
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:49,037
Okay, I'II try to come in,
even though I'm really sick
92
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,166
with the Florida flu
93
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,296
He just hung up
on me mid-sentence
94
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,298
I'm in Florida to get Erin
95
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,966
As soon as I heard
she wasn't coming
back to Scranton,
96
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:04,094
and drove straight down
until I hit the ocean.
97
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,887
My heart is my map
98
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,725
Turns out Tallahassee is about
two hundred miles inland,
99
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,394
so I overshot a good amount
100
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:15,272
But still, not bad
for a heart map, right?
101
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:18,984
Ew
102
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,404
Thanks a lot, BP
103
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,866
Not much we can do about this
until he gets here.
104
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,200
Can't you do
something about this?
105
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,704
Sometimes the flowers
arrange themselves, Jim
106
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,000
Right
107
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:38,045
What is going on,
and where's Andy?
108
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,464
And what is going on?
109
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,883
Erin, you got a package
110
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,634
ERIN
I'm in the bathroom
111
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,262
Where's the postage?
I mean there's
no shipping label
112
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,930
Did you wash your hands?
113
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,599
Yes
114
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:56,438
Here I am,
signed, seaped, delivered
I'm yours
115
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,190
Andy, what are you
doing here?
116
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,108
It's great to see you
117
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,069
Ah
118
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:06,698
Uh, I am here to take
you back to Scranton
119
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,868
because I love you and
I want to be with you.
120
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,828
Where's the ring?
121
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,038
Hmm?
122
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,664
Where's the ring, Lancelot?
123
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,209
Would you guys mind
if we talked privately
for a second?
124
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,419
Sorry, Glenn
125
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,216
Um
126
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:28,136
Andy
I am so happy
to see you
127
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,180
but I'm not
coming back with you
128
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,766
GLENN
Why won't she
go with him?
129
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:36,645
I don't know.
Maybe it's because
he's not that handsome
130
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:37,813
Hey
131
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,689
Don't listen
132
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,779
So what is going on?
133
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:48,573
That does seem to
be the question
doesn't it?
134
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:54,037
"Hey, this is messed up, bro.
Who is this weird lady?'
135
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,336
So, who knows
what's going on?
Anyone?
136
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:05,465
You, yes, wait.
I am very good
intuiting names
137
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:09,136
Is it Chumbo?
138
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:15,475
a cross between "dumbo'
and "jumbo
139
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,018
with a hint of "chubby.'
140
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,688
It's not a name
141
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,940
So no one can tell me
what's going on?
142
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,235
Well, let me
illuminate things for you
143
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,487
We are getting to
know each other
144
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,198
"But why, my lady?'
145
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,702
Because I am
your new manager
146
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,622
Robert, is Nellie
our new manager?
147
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,168
This is an odd situation
148
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,796
But it's very interesting
how it's playing out.
149
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,967
We live in this world
of routines and rhythms
150
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:52,471
Kevin ate someone's lunch,
Phyllis has a new necklace
151
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,265
Who is this woman?
152
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:59,311
I came in here simply trying
to get to know you
learn your names,
153
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,605
maybe have someone teach me
the company song.
154
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:05,484
And what I got in return
was nothing but disrespect
155
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,110
You leave me no choice
156
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,987
but to get to know you
in a more intimate way
157
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:10,322
Hot tub party?
158
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,324
Performance reviews
159
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:15,076
How can you give us
performance reviews
if you don't know us?
160
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:19,372
On first impressions,
so I recommend smiling
161
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,625
It goes a long way with me
162
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:26,588
Erin, you really
nailed the hotdogs today
163
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:30,383
Thanks. I've been reusing
the hotdog water,
so it gets more flavor.
164
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,135
It's only going to
keep getting better
165
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:38,058
So, Andrew, how does your
skinny brunette girlfriend,
Jessica,
166
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:40,936
feel about you
visiting your ex-girlfriend?
167
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:48,193
Well, we're not
really dating anymore
168
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,529
so basically, I mean I just have to
169
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,656
cross a few t's
and dot a few i's
you know.
170
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:57,077
So you came to get me
but you still
have a girlfriend.
171
00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,038
I think you should leave
young man
172
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:05,126
All right, technically yes.
I am still
technically dating Jessica
173
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,587
But when I realized
that I wanted you back
174
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,632
and I drove down here
175
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,968
and I didn't want to stop
until I saw you
176
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,846
You didn't even
stop to pee?
Gross!
177
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:18,390
Any luck?
178
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:22,060
No, he just keeps
letting all the calls
go to voicemail.
179
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,647
Please leave a message
180
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,900
for Andy Bernard
Include your name...
181
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:33,905
Oh, you're doing so good!
Oh, my God,
you're Superman over there
182
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,241
You should take it
183
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:39,077
It's probably your girlfriend
wondering where you are.
184
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,204
Nope, It's just work
Not important
185
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,123
You know I can really
feel this in my quads.
186
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,583
getting stronger
187
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,086
You really wouldn't feel
those kinds of
results after one session
188
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,132
Just let it vibrate
It's fine.
189
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,092
You could put it
on silent.
190
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,760
I don't think
it does that
191
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,679
Just go to preferences
then click...
192
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:58,805
Proctology
193
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,307
Andy?
194
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:01,933
Jim?
195
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,018
Andy, where are you?
196
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,689
I'm home in bed
I've been in bed all day
197
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:14,613
He's here in Tallahassee
trying to
turn my life upside down.
198
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,032
What? You're in Florida?
199
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,326
Andy, Nellie Bertram's
trying to take your job.
200
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,660
What do you mean
take my job?
201
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,037
Like, set up camp
in your office
202
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,163
and is calling
herself the manager.
203
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,539
Okay
204
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,958
Jim, I really appreciate
you looking out for me
205
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,711
but I'm not coming home
without Erin
206
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,046
So, I'll talk to you later
207
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:33,506
Guys
208
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,177
We cannot do these
performance reviews
okay?
209
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:38,470
If we go into them
you're basically
210
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:39,846
accepting Nellie
as your manager
211
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,057
And trust me
You do not want
her as your manager
212
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,516
Trust you?
213
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:47,228
The way Pam trusted you
to provide for her so
she wouldn't have to work?
214
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:50,940
Dwight
should she be our manager?
215
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,818
I wouldn't let her
manage a celery farm
216
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,363
Those who can't farm
farm celery
217
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,866
And when was
the last time Dwight and I
agreed on anything ever?
218
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,869
All right
let's get going
219
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:07,499
First up, it is the woman with
the beautiful fingernails and
the tiny feet
220
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:09,250
Phyllis
221
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,004
Nellie, I'm sorry,
but I don't feel comfortable
222
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,173
being evaluated by
someone I don't know
223
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,341
Oh
224
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:19,678
Okay. I understand.
Let me show you how
these are going to go
225
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,179
Dwight
226
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,973
I refuse to be
judged by someone
that I do not respect
227
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,350
I lost respect for you
in Florida.
228
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,644
If it was up to me,
you would be in jail forever
229
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,689
Dwight, I have
completed your evaluation
230
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:31,856
You're getting a raise
231
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:32,982
What?
232
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:37,904
Dwight, you carry this company
on your massive shoulders.
233
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,740
You are our Atlas
234
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,576
and for that
do you not think
you deserve a raise?
235
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,870
There's no limit to
what I think I deserve
236
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:46,955
Then you accept it?
237
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,498
Five percent, no less
238
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:49,791
Absolutely not
239
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,084
Seven percent
240
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,502
Six percent
I know my worth
241
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,129
Raise isn't real
242
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,381
Money isn't real
ever since we got off
the gold standard
243
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,718
So, Phyllis,
now you know the rules
of the game,
244
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:03,680
do you care to have a go?
I'm fairly certain
you're going to like it.
245
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,724
Phyllis
246
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,434
Pam
247
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,481
So, Phyllis,
I have been very impressed
with you.
248
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,942
Really?
Oh, yeah
249
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,987
The way you
conquered your fear
and came in here,
250
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,030
and now the way
you sit there.
251
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,659
All very impressive
252
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:27,746
Um
253
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,167
Are you aware
that Nellie is
giving out raises?
254
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,298
Yeah, she gave one
to Dwight, Phyllis
255
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,592
Let me guess,
you want one, too
256
00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,719
Take the family
to Disney Town
257
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:43,928
Land! World
258
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,806
It's not that I don't want
Well, yes,
I guess I'd take a raise.
259
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,266
That's not what I'm saying
That's not... Sorry.
260
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:53,480
Jim, I told Andy to come in
and yet he is still not in.
261
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:59,319
By contrast,
Nellie Bertram saw
a vacuum and filled it
262
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,530
of her business experience
263
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,034
or her relationship
with Jo Bennett, my boss
264
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,037
Jim, would you
prefer a nature metaphor
or a sexual metaphor?
265
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,288
Oh, God, nature, please
266
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,332
When two animals
are having sex,
267
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:15,794
one of them is
communicating a message
to the other.
268
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,046
Nothing is
This isn't very helpful
269
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:20,507
You're going to want
to hear the sexual metaphor
270
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:21,591
Was that not the
271
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:25,011
All life is sex
272
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,473
And all sex is competition
273
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,766
Mmm-hmm
274
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,810
And there are no
rules to that game
275
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,521
That wasn't so perverted
now was it?
276
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,231
Was that it?
No, that wasn't bad
277
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:42,028
My point is
there is one person in charge
of every office in America.
278
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,489
And that person
is Charles Darwin
279
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:48,368
In the end,
doesn't he decide
who the manager is?
280
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,583
No. I would have said no
281
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:01,297
Hmm. Let's see.
Review, review, review
Yes, good stuff.
282
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,715
Here you go, have a raise
283
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,175
Oh, great
284
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,971
and take these raises,
what are we saying?
285
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,224
That it's okay for someone
to just take
someone else's job?
286
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,600
Shouldn't work like that
287
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,186
No, you know what?
Nellie's right.
288
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,522
That is exactly
how it should work
289
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,024
Darryl,
this office is mine now
290
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:25,446
No.
Yes
291
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:29,158
Yes. Sorry
it's too late, I'm here.
This is mine. Back off
292
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:31,870
Ow! Ow
293
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:35,456
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow
294
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,548
Well fought!
I accept the outcome
295
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,553
Touch me and I'll sue
296
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,850
I've heard that's
amazing when it works
297
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,059
Yeah. If I had my own
298
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,603
Andy, I care about
you and I think...
299
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,563
Sorry. You go
300
00:14:58,689 --> 00:14:59,689
No, go ahead
301
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:01,608
Well
I was just going
to say that
302
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,359
if I had my own fountain
it would be two frogs
303
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,445
and they're spitting
into each other's mouth
304
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,323
It's just stupid.
What were you
going to say?
305
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,199
Andy, you broke my heart
306
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:14,621
Do you know what it
feels like to be constantly
rejected by you
307
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:18,207
and to have to watch
you date someone else?
308
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:19,918
You broke my heart, too
309
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:24,005
You broke my heart
more recently
and more often.
310
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:29,052
And I think at
some point in my head
it just sort of clicked
311
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,220
that we're not
meant to be.
312
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,312
I'm so sorry that
we have not loved each other
at the same time.
313
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,292
So, Pamela, I'm going to
start this review
314
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,419
not by telling you
what you lack
315
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,547
but rather asking you
what it is you want
316
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,092
Really? Okay, we
317
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,635
Um
318
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:16,307
I like consistency in
the manager's position
No weird silent coups
319
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,684
Stuff like that
I'm easy
320
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,018
That's not
really what you want
321
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,397
What you want is
a good night's sleep,
working mother of two
322
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:23,606
Whoa
323
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:27,777
That's kind of condescending
Would you say
something like that to Jim?
324
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:30,238
Does Jim
have to breastfeed?
325
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:34,367
Did Jim carry
around those babies for
what is it, 12 months?
326
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,244
Be honest
Does Jim really
get up in the night?
327
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,540
Well, I mean,
the only reason he doesn't
is because I'm breastfeeding
328
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,500
and Philip
doesn't like a bottle
329
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:44,419
You must be exhausted
330
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:46,587
Fancy a nap?
331
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:48,506
No
332
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,383
Go on. Have a nap
333
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,180
Lie down right here
334
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,392
There's a blanket in here
335
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,773
Dreamt I could
breathe underwater
like Jacques Cousteau
336
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,195
No one will know
337
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,115
I'll wake you up
338
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,121
When you wake up,
you will earn more money
339
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:29,630
I think you're amazing
You know that, right?
340
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:35,386
Go on. Say it,
"I'm amazing.'
341
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,097
I'm amazing
342
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,860
Erin, I think you're making
a big mistake right now
343
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,738
Andy is a nice boy
344
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,325
Really?
Because you've been kind
of a "B" to him all afternoon
345
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,870
I was protecting you
because I thought
he was no good
346
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,498
But I can tell
you really like him
347
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,833
And he's willing to
lose his job for you
348
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,461
In this economy,
with Europe on the brink
349
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,880
Irene
what would you do
without me?
350
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,466
We're not your concern
sweetheart
351
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,761
Besides, Glenn's
going to sue Home Depot
352
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:17,887
Why?
353
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:21,432
He got his foreskin caught
in some lawn furniture.
354
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,268
Jim, time for
your review.
355
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,854
No, it's not,
because you don't
really work here.
356
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,190
Why are you so
staunchly defending
357
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,609
your friend who
has abandoned you?
358
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:37,657
Wouldn't you rather
come talk with me
maybe, definitely get a raise?
359
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:38,783
See, that's the thing
360
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,493
can even give raises
361
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:44,497
Jim, have you ever
heard of a character
named Tinker Bell?
362
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,208
Yes
I'm Tinker Bell
363
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:48,876
No
364
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,922
I'm a magical fairy
who floated into your office
365
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:58,678
to bring a little bit
of magic into your lives
to give you all raises
366
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,513
And we are grateful
367
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,808
But here's the thing
about Tinker Bell, Jim
368
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:08,104
everyone has to believe in her
or she doesn't exist.
369
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,939
And then she dies.
She dies
370
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,820
Now who here
believes in Tinker Bell?
371
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,197
Let's see it.
Show of hands!
I do
372
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:22,702
Come on, everyone
373
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,078
All right, guys, stop
374
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,038
How?
375
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,541
Come on,
Jim, you're killing her
376
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,667
We believe
377
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,086
We believe
378
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,299
Look at this
wonderful recognition
379
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,759
of Nellie's leadership I believe!
380
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,936
That did not go
how I wanted it to
381
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,606
Ugh
382
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,234
I have a whole ton of
Erin's favorite food
for the drive back.
383
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,944
Eggplant parm
384
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,950
It's biodegradable
Animals will eat it
385
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,787
Andy, wait! Andy
386
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,248
Andy, wait! Andy, don't go
387
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,958
Andy, I love you! Stop
388
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,921
Oh. This is the wrong Prius
I don't love you.
389
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,297
Erin
I'm sorry.
390
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,551
Andy
391
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:36,525
Let's get out of here
392
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,568
Okay.
Let's go
393
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,320
Wait, we have to go back
and get your stuff.
394
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,488
No, I don't have
any stuff.
395
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,323
Like your
toothbrush and stuff.
I don't have one
396
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:44,325
You don't have
a toothbrush?
No
397
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,246
How do you not
have a toothbrush?
398
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,081
I just
there's always
one around.
399
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,249
You just use whichever
one is sitting there?
400
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,001
Have you ever heard
of buying a toothbrush?
401
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,879
Of course,
I own my toothbrush
402
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:03,427
I grew up poor. I had little formal education,
no real skills.
403
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,763
I don't work
especially hard
404
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:09,433
and most of my ideas
are either
unoriginal or total crap.
405
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,603
And yet, I walked right into a job
406
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,481
for which I was
ill-prepared, ill-suited,
407
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:19,110
and somebody else
already had,
and I got it.
408
00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:23,322
If you ask me,
that's the American
dream right there
409
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:26,242
Anything can happen
to anyone.
410
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:29,036
It's just random
30406
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof