Original subtitles

Previously on The West Wing:

LEO: Ever see Arnie Vinick campaign?

He'll go into those high school gymnasiums in Iowa

and blow them all away.

You're right, I let Russell seduce me

with mindless perks like a salary

and actual political support.

And what make-work job do they even have you doing over there?

Media targeting for the Northeast and Pacific Northwest

WILL: You have to care who's going to sit in that chair

after Jed Bartlet is gone.

I do.

That's why I don't want Bob Russell to be President.

I'm going to give the big speeches,

and I'm going to push every limit,

and that's the campaign you get to run.

* I go out walking

* After midnight

* Out in the moonlight, just like we used to do *

* I'm always walking

* After midnight, searching for you... *

TREVOR: You gonna need me in the morning?

DONNA: I'll call Mindy if I do.

Okay.

Thanks.

Hey.

Anything for 412?

( sighs )

Mr. Bailey's still in the cafe.

Thanks.

Good night.

5:45 wake-up call?

Yeah, or you could just have someone

come to my room and hit me over the head

with a mallet or something.

WILL: We got a name for the hog roasts yet?

CHRISTINE: Um, pig out with Bob?

ROGER: Hey, how was South Carolina?

Southern.

WILL: How'd the donor conferences go?

Heard a couple hundred ideas

about how Democrats can take back the South

and scooped up the checks.

Don't be a tease...

Half a million.

Wow! Hey. Nice!

DONNA: When's the VP coming in?

Air Force 2 is wheels down at 9:30.

Where do you want me? WILL: We need to pack the stage

for Thursday's Debate with five

or six fringe candidates.

Christine'll help you.

We've got, uh, two recently released federal inmates,

uh, an airline mechanic, two men over the age of 80,

comedian, a nun.

Don't forget Jennifer James.

Porn star. That girl's got talent.

And stamina. One guy's entire platform

is, uh, a tax cut for anyone who

adopts a pet and has them neutered.

And why do we want them in the debates,

aside from, you know, the neutering thing?

WILL: Hoynes was hoping to be alone on that stage with the VP.

The more wackos we put

around him, the more Hoynes looks

like just another clown.

Okay, morning staff at 6:30.

( "Walking After Midnight" playing )

( Will clears throat )

WILL: How was it?

Good. Pool in Charleston was nice.

You had time to swim?

No, but it looked nice.

We really going to call them

Bob's Boulders?

They keep signing those checks,

I don't care if they call themselves the Flying Wallendas.

Half a million.

Not bad for two days of rolling with the Boulders.

Night.

* The old hometown looks the same *

* As I step down from the train *

* And there to meet me is my mama and my papa... *

( sighs )

JOSH: Uh, can you hold the elevator?

I'm sorry, I didn't...

Yeah, uh, if we can't afford

at least 200 points out of Boston,

we got to find another way.

* ...hair of gold and lips like cherries... *

Stuart, will you, uh, call me back in five?

I'm sorry, I couldn't find the button. Right.

No... Uh, will you hit four?

* The old house is still standing *

* Though the paint is cracked and dry *

* And there's that old oak tree that I used... *

Just get back?

Yeah. South Carolina.

How's it going for you guys down there?

We're closing in on Hoynes.

You?

We're focusing on New Hampshire right now.

( sighs )

( elevator dings )

( doors opening )

( sighs )

* ...smiling sweetly

* It's good to touch the green, green grass of home... *

So, where did you stay

in South Carolina?

Marriott, Charleston.

Oh, they got that nice looking pool.

* ...four gray walls surround me *

* And then I realize

* I was only dreaming...

( sighs )

So... good night.

Yeah. See you.

* ...arm in arm, we'll walk at daybreak *

* Again I'll touch...

You're doing it too fast.

I get... I get frequent flyer miles

every time I swipe it...

Thank you.

So much for the Bermuda trip.

* The green, green grass of home... *

( groans )

* ...arm in arm, we walk at daybreak *

( door closing inside Donna's room )

* Again, I touch the green, green grass of home *

* Yes, they'll all come to see me *

* In the shade of the old oak tree *

* As they lay me 'neath the green, green grass of home... *

( groans gently )

Yeah?

FEMALE VOICE: Good morning. It's 5:45 a.m.

Carlie Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman

who was sexually involved with a coworker

was convicted of adultery this morning.

She's been sentenced to death for her crime.

The conviction of the young woman comes at a precarious time

for Turkey, who has, until recently, enacted reforms

aimed at preparing the country for European Union membership.

However, EU officials say

the execution of Miss Farkula would be

a major obstacle to Turkey's future inclusion in the EU.

Meanwhile, Bartlet Administration officials

stressed that while they're saddened by Turkey's decision

to allow the execution to go forward,

the United States remains committed

to strengthening ties with Turkey.

ROGER: American Legion Pancake breakfast,

followed by brief remarks

at the opening of the new field office

in Des Moines.

It's going to be five degrees

with wind chill. Bus ride to Centerville,

then on to the Iowa Corn Growers speech.

Where are we on the ethanol speech? VP loves ethanol.

Showers in it every morning.

CHRISTINE: Comment on Turkey?

WILL: What's the President saying?

"Saddened. Committed to strengthening ties."

Wile the Vice President... Saddened? They're going to

behead her for sleeping with a coworker.

WILL: Who's got the wonderful world of corn?

That'd be me-- Iowa Corn Growers Expo is a nonpartisan event

sponsored by the Iowa Farm League. Nonpartisan?

What's that? Well, the Expo offers

an excellent opportunity to address farmers,

corn growers, crop consultants

and seed corn reps on a variety of issues,

including the economy, farm subsidies,

trade, biotechnology,

ethanol and an alternative fuel.

Now, we're sure Hoynes is going to flip?

Believe me, Hoynes is taking

the ethanol pledge.

This is a guy who, if he was speaking to a group

of cannibals, would promise 'em missionaries.

ROGER: Think we'll be able to find some corn?

HOWARD: Corn fritters, corn pudding,

corn flambé, corn souffle,

Creole corn, country-fried corn,

peanut butter corn cakes,

and Huitlacoche.

It's like a corn smut. It's a sweet corn fungus.

They give it to pigs in the States.

It's actually a delicacy in South America.

Well, no need to stop

for lunch today-- everybody fill up on corn smut

at the Jefferson Cow Barn.

All right, five days till the Caucuses,

19 days to New Hampshire.

WILL: You two heading out on your, uh,

"Beyond the Fringe" world tour?

First stop, Peter Burton-- he wants the military

to occupy our schools to prevent gun violence.

M-1 Abrahms tank seems like a worthwhile

truancy deterrent.

120-mm cannon'd blow the training wheels

right off any tardy sixth grader's bike.

Tough on cafeteria linoleum.

Hey, swing by the Expo.

Bob'll want to thank you for looking at that pool.

DONNA: We can skip this next one.

He went to a federal prison

for three years for refusing to pay income tax.

You ever been to one

of these crazy caucuses, Trevor?

Yeah, my, uh, grandmother

runs one down at her church every four years.

You don't think it's weird your out-of-the-way,

nickel-and-dime, penny-ante state

gets to go first?

Well, we-we always go first.

Yeah, and why is that? Iowa's first because it's first.

CHRISTINE: Says who?

We should check this Craig guy out.

So, you don't think Californians

should get to meet the candidates down at the Barstow

Dairy Queen? We're not a bunch

of politically spoiled farm hands.

Look, we take the responsibility

of screening the Presidential candidates

for the rest of the nation very seriously.

Guy wins Iowa, all it means

is he's learned how to speak intelligently

about soybeans and farm implements.

( clears throat ): Here we are; this is the Burtons here.

CHRISTINE: Maybe we should've called first.

WILL: Good flight in?

RUSSELL: Uh, slept.

First stop's a pancake breakfast?

I love pancakes.

WILL: The Sun Times wants a statement on farm subsidies.

RUSSELL: Uh, the family farm

is the backbone of America.

Think they were looking for something

a bit more substantial. Well, what do they expect?

I'm going to come out against farm subsidies in Iowa?

Oppose manhole covers in Manhattan?

WILL: We'll give 'em the boilerplate.

It's a tragedy about that woman in Turkey.

We issue a statement?

WILL: You deplore it.

That's good to know.

And you support President Bartlet's efforts

to strengthen ties with an important regional ally.

This morning's finance report:

$8.2 million, cash in hand.

That ought to buy a few lawn signs.

And the lawns to go with 'em.

ROGER: Got a minute for some donors?

Irwin Drucker and his wife, Eileen

have a daughter, Susan, at LSU.

Peter Mosby-- he's in insurance.

RUSSELL: Uh, sorry I got stuck in the back

talking to the White House.

Irwin, Eileen, how's your daughter, Susan, doing

at, uh, LSU?

DONNA Mr. Edgars, uh, your platform would allow

all citizens to carry a concealed weapon?

Not allow. Require.

And you don't think that might lead to...

well, anarchy?

What we got now is anarchy.

An armed citizenry will take back our cities,

our parks, our schools

and our highways.

* How I been happy lately thinking 'bout days to come *

* And I believe it could be something good has begun *

* Oh, peace train, sounding louder *

* Glide on the peace train

* Peace train will take this country *

* Take me home again.

RUSSELL: You try those

pepper sausages?

Damn, those things were hot.

Somebody get me a quart of milk and a bucket of sand.

Paul Durett and his wife, Mimi; Sam Skok

and his son, David.

Hey, y'all, I'm just going to step back,

take my coat off-- I'll be right back.

Roger, uh, make sure

everybody's got something to drink, all right?

You get a chance to look

at the ethanol speech on the plane?

Yeah, seems fine. Who else is speaking?

Hoynes before you, Clarkson and Santos after you.

The Republicans go tonight.

You think Arnie's going to say

ethanol's a colossal waste of the taxpayers' money?

Thanks, Shelley.

WILL: Vinick'll flip. Has to.

( sighs ): I was in the Senate

last time he made his anti-ethanol speech.

Whew. Passionate.

Had it been a tie, I'm not sure what I would've done.

Voted "aye", if you ever wanted to run

for national office again. Think ethanol passed

something like 82 to 18.

I'm surprised there were 18 Senators

with no presidential ambitions.

You really think that Vinick can wriggle out

from under his ethanol record? He'll wiggle, he'll squirm,

but he'll say, as Senator, he voted against it,

'cause it wasn't good for California;

as President, he knows it's good for the country.

He'll pull a groin muscle

reaching around behind him to pick up that one.

Majority Whip is positioning on Third Circuit nominees again.

No, Vinick's not wrong about ethanol.

It takes more oil to transport it

and fertilize it than we save using it.

Sir, you're not considering changing the speech...

Was it Paul and Mandy?

Paul and Mimi; son, David.

DONNA: Mr. Johnson,

your platform would include

paying the President, the Cabinet

and all members of Congress a salary

of one dollar a year?

Hell, yeah, make 'em get a real job.

And you want to ban motorcycle helmets,

color television, drop out of the U.N.,

abolish Medicare,

and totally privatize Social Security?

We got to get the government out of our damn pockets.

Sir, are you sure you're a Democrat?

We're gonna need some time

after the trip tonight for a debate prep.

The Black and Brown's coming up.

Do I really have to go to that?

It's an Iowa tradition.

It's not a fair fight.

Atkins and Santos get to stand up there

holier than thou, rail against racial injustice

while the rest of us loiter around

looking like those two albino twins from The Matrix.

Sir, Donna Moss is here.

South Carolina fundraising.

Donna, great job on the Carolina trip.

Keep those boulders rolling.

Thank you, sir.

We can't put these fringe candidates

on stage with serious candidates.

We've got a fascist who was arrested

for brandishing a rifle and calling

for the overthrow of the republic...

a delusional preacher, a guy who just needs a job

and a refugee from the New Christy Minstrels.

WILL: Freight train derailed in Baton Route.

Big chemical spill and fire.

They're gonna have to evacuate a 20 square-mile area.

Any fatalities?

Leveled a couple of city blocks.

They're ready for you, sir.

We're set on this ethanol speech?

Don't worry. I'm not suicidal.

I'm gonna take the pledge.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,

the Vice President of the United States.

I was thinking about throwing in a little something

about, uh, drastically reducing sugar subsidies, though.

We can't give these fringe people a megaphone.

They're lunatics.

It'll be a circus without the jugglers.

RUSSELL: Thanks for that welcome.

Now, I'm not saying this just

because I'm in Iowa.

I say this everywhere I go.

We need more ethanol production!

( applause )

WILL: It's not already a circus?

When I was in Congress, I voted to subsidize...

( soft groan )

Hello.

FEMALE VOICE: Good morning.

It's 5:45 a.m.

Thank you.

( groans )

Carlie Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman

who was sexually involved

with a coworker, was convicted of adultery this morning.

She's been sentenced to death for her crime.

In the most recent attempt to revamp Turkey's

78-year-old penal code,

members of the ruling Justice Development Party

approved yesterday a controversial amendment

( coughs )

to criminalize adultery.

Yeah.

Leaders are expressing concern that the country's laws

might be moving closer to Islamic law.

Conviction of the young woman comes

at a precarious time for Turkey,

who has until recently enacted reforms aimed

at preparing the country for European Union membership.

EU officials say the execution of Miss Farkula

would be a major obstacle

to Turkey's future inclusion in the EU.

Bartlet Administration officials stressed that

while they're saddened by Turkey's decision

to allow the execution to go forward, the United States

remains committed

to strengthening ties with Turkey.

DAFFY DUCK: Hankering for trouble, eh?

HELEN: Okay, you guys,

I'm just gonna be right next door, all right?

DAFFY DUCK: I would like to introduce myself:

Zip-along Daffy...

RONNA: At 10:00, we tour

the Todd Family Orchard in Ames,

press cider and talk about

agricultural policy with local farmers.

Followed by a photo op in Audubon

with Albert, the world's largest bull...

Campaign's full of metaphors, isn't it? Yeah, Josh Lyman for...

On to the Firefighter's Chili Cook-Off in Davenport.

We discuss volunteer firefighters...

Say Ned, did Andrea send over

the, uh, mark-ups on the dispersal?

Yeah. I want to weigh in on it before it goes to the floor.

Yeah, you read it on the way.

Next stop is the Coffee Bean Caucus

at the Hamburg Inn Number Two.

The what? JOSH: It's a diner.

They line up mason jars

with each candidate's name on it,

and every customer gets a coffee bean to toss

into their favorite's jar. I even have a jar?

We even send a volunteer

in for pie every day for a week.

Oh, you got seven beans, honey.

And a volunteer as big as Albert?

Next is the nation's

oldest Dairy Queen where you try soft serve

and talk about jobs and the economy.

Next, we fly to Iowa Corn Growers

Expo: Watch-as-I-impale-myself...

We got a plane? Sort of. With wings? Small ones.

...on-the-mighty-sword of-corn-based-fuels speech.

What are you going to say about ethanol?

JOSH: Best thing

since soft serve. HELEN: Ethanol is subsidized

to the tune of what,

a billion dollars a year, Josh?

SANTOS: What's up after the, uh, corn expo?

RONNA: Uh, back here for prep

on the Brown and Black Debate.

All of you are gonna prep me for a debate on race?

JOSH: Yeah, we should at least go over the opposing arguments.

See if we can get after Hoynes

on some of the issues.

I grew up in Houston, Josh.

I lived the opposing arguments.

Okay, that's it. Parking lot, ten minutes.

SANTOS: It's terrible

about this woman in Turkey, huh?

What do you think the President's going to do?

Not much, I guess. I mean, she's a Turkish citizen.

It's their country.

They're executing her because

she slept with her fiancé.

Thank God she didn't cook him breakfast, too.

Hey, we execute minors.

The rest of the world thinks that's barbaric.

I'm with the world.

You joining us this morning?

Uh, no. Peter's got the sniffles.

Think we're gonna stay here for a while.

Honey, a billion dollars a year to make a gasoline additive?

I'm gonna go get my coat.

Kiss the kids good-bye.

Yeah, pictures are better without the coat.

Circulation's better with it.

Register has us at three percent?

Yeah, I saw.

Iowa's Hispanic population

is two point eight percent.

A billion dollars that could be spent

on child healthcare, prenatal care,

Head Start, education.

Catch up with us later?

Yup.

See you.

JOSH: Oh, we wrangled you an invitation

to go pheasant hunting with one

of the Osceola County Supervisors.

Get into camo gear,

swing a 12-gauge over your shoulder,

get a few photos for the AP.

With a gun?

Yeah, you were in the Marines.

You know how to shoot, right?

Yeah, 20mm chain gun, but it might be a little hard

on the pheasant.

You know, Helen's not wrong about ethanol.

No, please. Come on.

SANTOS: Bad for the environment, it's expensive.

Mother of all panders.

After antagonizing New Hampshire voters,

we're gonna march into Iowa, do the same thing?

Transportation is difficult,

storage is a nightmare. What is this,

the insult and injury tour?

We going to North Dakota next,

tell them South Dakota has the cooler-sounding name?

Farm subsidies began as a way

to help farmers in the Depression.

It's decades out-of-date.

It's corporate welfare.

Don't you actually want to get

some votes in one of these states?

SANTOS: 75% of the money goes

to the richest ten percent of American farmers.

You know, we're talking about

writing six figure checks

to Chevron,

the John Hancock Insurance Company,

NBA basketball stars.

Repeat after me:

"Family farming is a precious way

"of life in this country,

"and we're gonna do everything we can

to protect it." Hi, I'm Matt Santos.

I'm running for President. Why don't you come back inside,

we'll talk about how we can make America stronger?

So, I want to take another look

at the ethanol speech when we get...

No. Absolutely not.

As soon as we get back on the bus.

It's not gonna happen.

RONNA: He doing it again?

Yeah.

NED: Maybe we should find some hungrier volunteers.

He's not talking ethanol, is he?

Immigration.

Great, he proposing opening the border

and pelting them with surplus corn?

NED: No, something about foreign nationals serving

in the military without being given citizenship.

SANTOS: Yeah, we let them

defend our country, but we won't let them

be American citizens

until after they're discharged?

You're Hispanic.

You start talking immigration reform,

people are going to think

you want to throw open the borders.

No, no, no. Not throw them open,

but make some kind of sense

out of our immigration laws.

And you know, the ethanol subsidy is a joke.

It's practically in the Oxford English Dictionary

under "pandering."

Maybe the voters will respect us

more for telling them the truth.

What truth? That because ethanol isn't perfect,

they have to send their kids

to community college, and we're gonna

yank millions out of their local economy?

Yeah, but it's up to us to explain to them

that it-it's gonna hurt them, that-that we're essentially

paying for make-work jobs.

I mean, that can't be what they want.

Yeah, well, explain it to 'em after

someone's actually elected us to something, okay?

SANTOS: I am not going

to a Brown and Black debate

and only talk about economic issues.

I'll look ridiculous.

JOSH: Lack of opportunity

is the root of all our divisions.

We need to lower the deficit, lower interest rates,

and create more private sector jobs.

We need to raise educational standards,

and equip all Americans

for the new economy.

That's what Russell and Hoynes will be saying.

You're trying to steer me

towards middle-of-the-road positions that appeal

to C-SPAN viewers.

All six of them

who'll be watching the debate, yeah, God bless 'em.

You really want me to talk

about the economic problems

in the minority communities?

Yeah, I really do.

Okay. How about the fact

that minority kids are five times more likely

to grow up poor and fatherless?

You know you can't go there.

I'm serious.

Kids who grow up fatherless are more likely

to suffer emotional consequences,

and twice as likely

to engage in criminal activities.

We need to be challenging Hoynes, not

fringe candidates like Atkins.

We reformed welfare to require women to work--

that is, when they can find a job--

but we haven't done half as much

to force deadbeat dads to pay for child support.

You know damn well

less than a quarter of Latino kids

grow up without their fathers.

It's nearly half of African-American children.

I don't care if it's three Bosnians,

an Armenian and a bus full of party clowns,

it's a huge economic problem, Josh.

It's gonna look like

you're lecturing African-Americans.

Oh, so, if I'm President,

I can only use the bully pulpit to talk to Latinos?

What, does my State of the Union only run on Telemundo, too?

No, but tell me right now.

What's gonna help everyone broadly,

make a difference across

all the races?

Values issues are important, too, Josh.

And supporting ethanol

is a mistake.

I want to see that speech.

This is a small plane.

You don't like small planes?

Like, Buddy Holly small.

Big Bopper small.

Jiles Perry Richardson.

The Bopper's real name.

Richie Valens, too.

All went down right here in Iowa.

( sighs )

( plane engine whirring )

Where's the Congressman?

RONNA: Up front.

Up front?

Well, he can't exactly fly it from back here.

Everybody set?

You might want to buckle up, Josh.

Don't think I'll ever get tired of doing barrel rolls.

SANTOS: "Ethanol is good for our economy,

"good for our environment,

and should be at the heart of our energy strategy."

We've lost 850,000 jobs to foreign oil.

Hmm.

Ethanol's created 150,000.

Think of it as a Midwestern jobs program.

SANTOS: "As President,

"I will ensure that by the year 2020,

"ten percent of all motor fuels will come

from renewable sources like ethanol..."

Four lines at the top of the speech.

Think of it as a quick trip to the dentist.

Yeah, I'm a pretty good flosser.

Hey, honey. How was your day today?

Good. Peter's feeling better. Great.

Ronna, do we know who's been here already?

Uh, Hoynes this morning, Russell about an hour ago.

All right, you know,

I'm-I'm not gonna do this, any of it.

I'm gonna go in there,

and I'm gonna tell these people the truth.

We have to help farmers in the tough years,

and then reform the system

so that we can target those who really need it,

not these agri-businesses and multimillionaires.

Ready, Congressman? ! Yeah.

You walk out there on that stage,

and you come out against ethanol, you are dead meat.

Bambi'd have a better shot

getting elected President of the NRA than you will have

of getting a single vote in this Caucus.

Let him say what he wants to say, Josh. He's right.

No, he's not.

Look, you want me

to support something I know to be

lousy policy and a colossal waste

of taxpayers' money to round up a couple of votes

for a Caucus I can't possibly win.

I want you to support a policy that helps a lot of people,

so that a year from now when you are sworn in

as President, you can make the changes

we both know need to be made.

I'm ready.

Matt?

Take the oath.

MALE ANNOUNCER Ladies and gentlemen.

Congressmen Mathew Santos.

( applause continues )

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much for that warm welcome.

( clears throat )

Ethanol...

is good for our economy,

good for our environment, and should be at the heart

of our energy strategy.

( applause )

As President, I will ensure

that by the year 2020,

ten percent of all motor fuels

come from renewable resources like ethanol.

( whistling )

( applause )

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to talk

about the dramatic steps that we must take...

( phone ringing )

Yeah?

Great. Okay. Thank you.

Carlie Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman

who was sexually involved with a co-worker

was convicted of adultery this morning.

Leaders are expressing concern that the country's laws

might be moving closer to Islamic law.

Meanwhile, Bartlet Administration officials

stressed that while they're saddened

by Turkey's decision to allow the execution to go forward...

SHEILA: Speech on tax reform at General Mills plant,

then a meet-and-greet with the managers,

talk about improving the business climate.

VINICK: We have talking points on the tax plan?

SHEILA: Okay, 11:00

rally at the Mid-America Center

followed by fundraising lunch for John Schofield.

Thought we said no to that.

MAYER: Party's getting behind him.

They're trying to unseat Lockman.

All right, we have a couple of house stops,

and then on to Hamburg Inn Number Two.

SEAN: That the place with the beans?

Great pie, too.

Finally, tonight,

the Iowa Corn Growers Association.

Did it suddenly get quiet in here?

( clearing throat )

Do we have that new direct mail piece?

Yeah, I took out about 17 exclamation points. Here.

Fewer words, more pictures. Thank you.

SHEILA: Can we get any mileage

out of Bartlet and this Turkey thing?

VINICK: I don't see how.

He criticized the decision while reaffirming our commitment

to regional autonomy. Yeah, but if we can find an angle,

it might be a good way to remind caucus-goers of your

foreign policy experience. We want to remind them of my foreign

policy experience? Might get their minds off ethanol and abortion.

Bringing them with me to a DMZ

wouldn't take their minds off ethanol and abortion.

Cancel it. Okay, everybody, that's it.

No, we're done there.

Got the new

financial report.

We're up six million six.

That's a lot of money.

Now all we need are a few people

willing to vote for you.

Bob, you got crumbs all over... oh, great.

Now, if I want a snack,

I just have to reach down into the carpet.

You tell him? Tell me what?

Got the new field poll.

You're at five percent.

So, I'm up a little.

Half a point; dumped two million bucks

into Iowa, and you are up a half?

Ten million more,

I can get you into double digits.

No. You're gonna have to do it.

I'm not having this conversation.

MAYER: Sheila, tell him.

VINICK: Stop it.

She's been doing all her own talking

since she turned 35. Why don't we talk about this in the car?

VINICK: I never thought we should

commit resources here in the first place.

SHEILA: We can't just thumb our noses at Iowa.

Let Allard clean up and take

the momentum into New Hampshire...?!

MAYER: This is all about rural voters.

A Republican can't win the White House

without the Farm Belt.

You want me in overalls, spending all day

talking with Whistler's mom

about soybean prices?

You know that's not what we're talking about.

Farmers in America don't want to get paid in the mailbox.

They want to get paid in the marketplace.

That's catchy. Pretty sure I wrote it.

People know where I stand.

They may not like it, but they know I'll stick with it.

This is issue one, two and three here.

I'm not a panderer.

MAYER: It's unavoidable.

It's the non- panderer's pander.

General Patton would have pandered on ethanol.

Et tu, Brute?

VINICK: Bartlet's economic policies simply aren't working.

In small towns and rural communities across America,

our lifestyle and values are under siege.

The trade deficit's at record levels.

Corn is down three cents a bushel.

Soybeans are down 12 cents.

MAN: Isn't the deficit

due to NAFTA as much as anything else?

Trade creates jobs, period.

One-third of Iowa's agricultural product goes overseas.

We need more programs

like the "Freedom to Farm" legislation

that I helped sponsor.

MAN: Around here, we call that

"Freedom to Foreclose."

Well, that's clever,

but it's not very accurate.

I mean, do you think that farmers should decide

what they get to plant,

or should that be left up

to some bureaucrat back in Washington?

You know, too often, you're forced

to "farm the subsidy" instead of the market.

SHEILA: We could use the new study the Ethanol Institute put out.

VINICK: Yeah, I wonder who footed the bill for that research?

MAYER: It says if we put ten percent ethanol

in every gas tank in America,

we can reduce worldwide oil demand by two percent.

VINICK: First, we can't produce

that much ethanol.

Second, using it as an additive

allows the oil companies to pump up octane levels

and sell more premium gas to SUVs.

Senator, we're just trying to...

Two years ago, I called it highway robbery.

Now I'm supposed to hand out ski masks, guns

and brown paper bags?

Forget the subsidy argument.

You've said 100 times

reducing dependence on foreign oil

is a national security issue.

Yeah. We fold ethanol into that.

Yeah. The only problem is it's not true.

Making a gallon of ethanol takes almost a gallon of oil.

That's like saying using tonic water as an additive

reduces our demand for gin. Look...

Listen, I need to catch Valerie after school.

I want to wish her a happy birthday.

Will you at least look at the ethanol report?

It's a classic study of a stupid policy

rammed down our throats by special interests.

Makes about as much sense

as building patio furniture out of corn.

But sure, I'll take a look.

VINICK: We need fewer regulations

on small businesses.

You know, small business is like family farms.

And we have to do something about these frivolous lawsuits

that jack up costs for small businesses,

you know, make it hard for them

to afford to have insurance, capital investment...

Now, I'm for free trade,

but shouldn't it be fair trade?

Can we really compete

with people earning a dollar a day?

Do we really want workers in Malaysia to be earning

our minimum wage? ( cell phone rings )

I mean, do you have any idea

what real estate costs in Kuala Lumpur?

Trade lowers

prices for Americans.

I mean, how else do you think

that they keep things so cheap over at Walmart, huh?

It's not just ethanol, you know?

These... these subsidies

are what give us the corn glut.

That's why we make 20 million tons

of corn sweetener a year.

Average American eats or drinks 93 pounds of it.

And we wonder why we have an obesity problem with kids.

What would I have to say?

You weren't wrong as Senator.

Ethanol wasn't in the best interests of California.

But as President, you have to do what's right

for the whole country.

What did you expect?

How about, "As Senator, I pandered to Californians,

but as President, I plan to pander

to every special interest group who will get me elected"?

Bob already have a speech drafted?

You want to read it? No, not especially.

You know, if Iowa

weren't first-- if it were third--

you know what it would be?

The South Dakota primary.

Is he going to do it?

Yeah. Oh.

Hello...

Senator, your granddaughter.

* Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday to you... *

( laughing )

Well... well, Montovani I'm not.

No.

No! Of course I didn't forget.

Well, it's cold. It started snowing.

Okay, you go back to your friends.

I love you, too.

Happy Birthday, pumpkin.

You have that "Profiles in Spinelessness" speech of yours?

It's on the prompters.

You ready, Senator?

Okay.

( weary sigh )

Man, I missed so many of my own kids' birthdays;

now I'm doing it with the grandchildren.

ANNOUNCER ( on P.A. ): Ladies and gentlemen,

Senator Arnold Vinick.

( scattered applause )

( man coughs )

As many of you are aware,

in the past, I haven't been a big supporter

of ethanol subsidies.

( man clears throat )

( people clearing their throats )

( man coughs )

I know what you want to hear.

Telling people what they want to hear

is the easiest thing you can do in politics.

But that's not why I'm here;

that's not why I'm running for president.

Now, I know that the ethanol subsidies

have been good for some of you.

But mostly, it's a windfall for huge conglomerates.

I'm embarrassed by it,

and I think you should be, too.

Look, I know what you're up against.

I grew up in a, in a

citrus farming community in California...

if you elect me president,

ethanol subsidies are not going to be

a part of my agriculture policy.

JOSH: Wow.

HELEN: Yeah, wow.

You and the Congressman finished with dinner?

Yeah. At least one candidate gets to go home

without feeling like he's been mugged.

( strained laugh )

Well, he may have his wallet, but he'll be down

four points in the morning.

Ned, would you mind excusing us for a minute?

Thanks.

See ya.

Josh, why are we even in Iowa?

Shouldn't we be focusing on Texas, California,

places where we might actually get some, um...

oh, what do you political professionals call them,

uh... votes? We're letting people know

there's an alternative to Hoynes and Russell.

Matt Santos, making sense, talking about ideas.

Making sense about ethanol?

It makes sense in Iowa, yeah.

Russell's a house of cards.

His support's a mile wide and an inch deep.

We can't compete with him

on endorsements or institutional support.

But we don't have to worry about Russell.

Hoynes'll find a way to take him down.

This the famous Josh Lyman nine-point plan?

Hoynes is smart; he has access to money;

plenty of chits he can call in.

Once Russell crumbles,

his support'll flow to Hoynes,

unless someone has established themself as "Not Hoynes."

"Not Hoynes." 'Cause there are

going to be lots of primary activists

who are very uncomfortable

with an adulterous, moderate,

DLC Democrat.

Oh, my God. You actually

stay up nights thinking this stuff up?

It's a living.

( sighing ): Hmm...

Well, I'm going to bed.

Please don't keep him up too late.

He's tired.

Good night, Josh.

Hey, still snowing outside?

Uh, yes-- supposed to clear up in a couple hours.

We gonna have to change the schedule tomorrow?

Not yet.

Josh, as I live and barely breath.

Senator, how are you?

VINICK: Well, aside from the dozen Republican farmers

who just tried to show me the business end

of a Mr. Popcorn machine, fine.

You know Sheila, Bob.

Hey. SHEILA: Hey.

You got some...

No, no, that's just Bob's way

of packing a lunch.

Uh, Senator, Congressman Matt Santos.

Yeah, we've met.

How are you, Matt?

I'm good, Arnie. You?

We co-sponsored a doomed immigration reform package

a couple years ago. Yeah...

We fought the good fight, lit the good match.

Still went down in flames, though.

We're supposed to be driving back to Des Moines now,

but... well, you know, with the storm and everything,

we thought we'd get something to eat

and see if it clears up. Well, maybe we could see

if the kitchen's still open. Yeah, I'll check it out.

SHEILA: I'll get us a table.

Yeah, sure, I'll-I'll be right there.

I read about that education plan

you introduced in New Hampshire.

That's pretty gutsy stuff, taking on the teachers' unions.

Well, I don't think that I'll be

elected President of my PTA right now, but, uh...

saw the ethanol speech.

Yeah, well, that wasn't gutsy so much as suicidal,

or so my staff tells me.

Mind if I sit?

No, please.

Your guys Russell and Hoynes

have come after me on that already.

You lining up a shot for tomorrow?

I think I'll just sit this one out.

240-day school year, hmm?

An end to teacher tenure,

nationalizing the system.

You want to hop on? I could use the support.

I'm taking a shellacking from my own side of the aisle.

I'm with you on the tenure,

but a longer, federally mandated school year?

Uh... sounds like another big Washington

power grab to me. Oh, here we go...

Well, no.

Why would we want to wrest control

from the local school boards and the parents

who know more about their kids than we do?

'Cause right now, our local school boards

and parents aren't making sure that our kids

could compete in a tougher world marketplace.

Wouldn't be a Democratic plan if it didn't involve more taxes.

Maybe we should take apart every public school

brick by brick, auction 'em off.

Some things cost money, Arnie.

Who's going to administer all this?

Because they did such a great jobent improving education

in the last four decades? All right,

are you through embarrassing me in front of my staff here?

Not even close.

When are you headed back to New Hampshire?

Tomorrow.

What with my ethanol tantrum, I, uh...

I suspect my work here is done.

I think I've managed to successfully drag

my-my-my poll numbers below a pro hockey score.

Well, at least you've still got a full set of teeth.

Yeah, my staff is very proud.

Well, if they weren't, I was.

You're not an ethanol fan?

Not until today.

JOSH: Kitchen's closed,

but they said they'd whip up a few eggs, some sandwiches.

Thank you.

What do you think they're plotting over there?

Well, if your day's been anything like ours,

I'd take away the sharp cutlery.

That was a bold move on the ethanol thing.

That was all him.

You'll end up a loser here,

but you'll mop up with the national press.

They'll be talking about how courageous your guy is.

From your lips to God's ears.

What'd your guy do on ethanol?

He took the pledge.

Republican field's wide open.

We're just trying to find a way to stay in the game.

Hmm.

( acoustic guitar strumming )

* Two hearts fading like a flower *

* And all this waiting for the power *

* For some answer to this fire *

* Sinking slowly, the water's higher *

* Mmm...

* Desire

* Desire

* With no secrets, no obsession *

* This time I'm speeding with no direction *

* Without a reason, what is this fire? *

* Burning slowly, my one and only *

* Mmm

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire

Our current force is more than adequate to meet the needs

of the agreed-upon security arrangements and all parties...

* You know me, you don't mind waiting *

* You just can't show me, but God I'm praying *

* That you'll find me, and that you'll see me *

* That you'll run and never tire *

* Mmm...

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire...

( phone ringing )

JOSH: Hello.

FEMALE VOICE: Good morning. It's 5:45 a.m.

Thank you.

( Josh sighs groggily )