Original subtitles

Oh, and thank you boys for helping me getting these

boxes out of storage.

Uh, no problem, pops.

Hey, what is in all this stuff anyway?

I mean, it stinks like grandma's house.

- This is my biggest collection. - Really?

Even bigger than your collection of health code violations?

[laughs]

No, no, no. It's my boxing collection.

I inherited all this stuff when my father died.

Well, he wasn't around to watch me enjoy it.

That's why I wanna stick around to make sure you guys enjoy it.

Oh, what you got there, Pops?

Oh, Dee, I got tons of stuff, look.

Boxing gloves, robes, shoes.

I even got a pair of Muhammad Ali's boxing trunks

signed by the man himself.

Oh, I collect celebrity clothing too.

I got a pair of Al Sharpton's sweatpants.

That's why you got a

Al Sharpton restraining order too.

Oh, sister.

Look at this. Sugar Ray's mouthpiece.

(Dee) 'Oh.'

Holyfield's Band-Aid.

- Tommy Hearns' Jheri curl bags. - 'Ew!'

This is my favorite, look at this one.

Look at this one.

Leon Spinks' toothbrush.

Oh, my God, pop.

This gotta be worth millions.

I mean, look. It hasn't even been used yet.

Whose oxygen mask is this?

That's Joe Frazier's athletic cup.

[all laughing]

Ah, yeah.

[theme music]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print.'

'Beautiful guys, dynamite.'

[hip hop music]

[music continues]

[hip hop music]

You know, when I first saw you, fire top..

...I said two things to myself.

I said one..

"Damn, that girl need to calm."

And two was, "Them sexy eyes

and that baby hair on yo top lips."

Aha..

I knew I had to make you my girl.

I ain't your girl! Shh..

What you got in these boxes anyway?

Oh, jus-just some boxing stuff, that's all.

Boxing.

- Ehh.. - What?

You know boxing really turns me on.

You like boxing?

Well, you know, I've been boxing

since I was a little boy.

You know, when I was born, the doctor smacked me on my ass

and I turned around and punched him right in his face.

- Really? - Oh, yeah, girl.

You know, I could teach you a little something, if you want.

- Would you? - Oh, most definitely.

What do, well, the first thing you gotta know, is, uh, you know

all boxers, we, we, we fight with our shirts off.

So come on, everybody, take, take y'all shirts off. Come on.

Uh, it ain't that kinda party.

Okay, you ain't as dumb as most boxers.

So come on. Go ahead, hit me right there.

Go ahead, as hard as you can. Ooh! Ah, that hurt..

[groaning]

- What's going on here? - Nothing.

Needed to do a little bit of foreplay.

Uh-uh. 'Cause you ain't nothing but a biatch.

Hey, girl, how you do your hair, with some jumper cables?

Marlon, take this stuff off before you ruin it.

What're you talking about, Shawn? This stuff is stupid.

Ain't nobody carin' about that stupid junk.

Uh, this stupid stuff right here is gonna make us a lot of money.

- We're gonna auction it off. - Come on now.

People are actually gonna pay for that?

Uh, Marlon, let me put it to you this way.

Someone actually paid three million dollars

just for one of Mark McGwire's balls.

Wow.

[instrumental music]

Hey, yo, Marlon, man, this is phat.

Look, all we gotta do is watch people bid on our stuff

and we can walk out of here, paid.

- Word? - Yeah.

Alright, riff-raff

take your seats, please.

Did Mr. Belvedere just call me the N-word?

No, no, no, he done some English stuff.

Thank you, sirs, now the first lot, ladies and gentlemen

is a collection containing 400 pieces of boxing memorabilia.

Word, hey, y'all got

Evander Holyfield's ear in there?

I'm starting the bidding at $1000.

I hear 1000, I have 1000 from the gentleman in the front row.

- Thank you, sir. - Well, Shawn.

What was all that? What does that mean?

Don't pay that no mind, Marlon. That's-that's..

Everybody has their own way of signaling

the auctioneer of what they're bidding.

Do I hear 1500?

So you mean, if I do this right here..

Fifteen hundred to the gentleman

who is quite obviously a rap star.

Or even possibly a basketball player.

Oh, snap, Master P is here?

How many hear me, whoo?

P? Hey, P?

Do I hear $2000?

Two thousand.

(male #1) 'I have $2000 from the young gentleman'

'standing at the back of the room.'

- Thank you, sir. - Yo, Marlon.

You know who that is? That's Roy Jones Jr.

The Light Heavyweight champion of the world.

- Word? - Yo, kid, he's paid.

How do you know?

Because, he's not managed by Don King.

You know he got more than a $100 in the bank.

Yeah, I can tell by that nice red oak tree suit.

Yo, watch this. I'mma drive the price up.

Alright.

That is $2500 to the gangbanger.

- Three thousand. - I have 3000.

Nine thousand dollars!

(male #1) 'Nine thousand dollars, going once.'

(Shawn) 'What the hell are you doing?'

Now we're gonna get stuck with the bid.

Going twice.

- Ten thousand dollars. - Shawn, I can beat it.

Boy, you try, and I'll beat you. Shut up.

Ten thousand dollars going once.

Ten thousand dollars going twice.

Sold to the young gentleman at the back

of the room for $10,000.

'Thank you, sir.'

[screaming]

[hip hop music]

Hey, yo, Marlon. Where you at, kid?

I'm right behind you, kid. Wassup?

What you wanna do, wanna go sit down?

Oh yeah. I'll meet you right over by that booth over there.

Alright, cool.

Look at you two.

- Uh-huh, thank you, girl. - Yeah.

Where did you boys get all that leather from?

Y'all jack Eddie Murphy's closet?

[all laughing]

Gentlemen on a shopping spree.

That's right, tackasaurus.

We picked you up a little something something

on our way back, bow!

What?

Oh, man!

These are beautiful.

Pop, push that button right there.

♪ I believe in miracles.. ♪

(Shawn and Marlon) I like that, I like that.

Hey, yo, pop, it don't stop there, man.

Yo, the left one plays AM radio

and the right one plays FM.

Man, you couldn't ask for two finer sons

than you boys right here.

[chuckles] Thank you kindly.

What did y'all do, hit the lottery?

No, pop, we just got mad paid in the auction.

A matter of fact

this right here ...is your cut.

My cut, what are you talking about?

Well, pop.

You know that old box of boxing junk

you gave us earlier today?

Could you believe somebody paid..

...$10,000 for it?

- Ten thousand dollars? - That's right.

- Ten thousand dollars. - Ten thousand dollars.

I couldn't believe it, either.

You can't put a price on our family legacy!

But, pop. What? What are you talking about?

- We just got you paid! - What?

Your grandfather stood in the snow five hours to get

Joe Louis' boxing gloves.

He got frostbite and lost two fingers.

That's why he could never slap us five.

This is the only thing my father passed down to me.

And I was hoping that you can pass it down to your children.

But you sold our family history for a dollar!

I hope it was worth it.

[hip hop music]

[instrumental music]

Are you sure this is gonna work?

Marlon, trust me, okay.

Just follow my lead, okay?

Okay.

Jab!

One, two!

Bob. Weave.

Come on, man, you're not focusin'.

Sorry about that, man, I was just thinking

about this rap song that I wrote last night.

What rhymes with bruiser?

Loser.

And that's what you're gonna be, if you don't start focusin'!

'Now, let's do this. Come on, Roy. Let's go, baby!'

Come on!

Yeah!

Come on, baby, yeah.

Whoa, hold up.

I say,callate la boca.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- I, I, I talk to him. - Me.

I talk to him.

[mumbling]

Ai..

Ai, ai, ai..

Grande cabeza.

Mira que coco pelea.

Ai, ai, ai,Cabeza de papa.

Ay. En que cabeza.

- Who are you? - Tell him.

- Tell him, I.. - You tell him.

I say, I say.

Yeah, I say.

Feliz Navidad.

Feliz Navidad.

Feliz Navidad, tu quiero ano y felicidad.

I got this. Show like this.

Show like this, show like this.

He can.. He said he's a professional boxer.

He show you some of his moves.

Okay, let's get moving!

[mumbling]

Aqui.

I start it. I start it up for you.

I start it up for you.

Uno, dos, tres.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Bailar, bailar, bailar.

Bailar, bailar, bailar.

- Si. - Salsa.

- Uno, dos, tres, cuatro. - Si.

- Uno, dos, tres, cuatro. - Si.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, stop!

It's hammer time.

[indistinct]

Come on.

- El cabeza! - No cabeza!

El cabeza!

Ai, muevete.

When you finished playing games with the speed bag..

...I have a real fighter training for a big fight.

[both laughing]

Apollo Creed.

No, Shaft.

You think he's such a big shot?

Let's see what he can box.

Yeah,nyete.

You papi, go ahead.

- Ah-h! - Ah-h!

- You can't see me coming. - Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, I remember these two from the auction.

It's because of you I paid twice the amount

for my collection that I would have had to pay for it.

That's why we're here, look..

Here's your money back.

We wanna buy our collection back.

Oh, no, no way.

It's not for sale.

Oh, come on, please, we made a mistake.

We didn't mean to sell it in the first place.

Not my problem, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do for ya.

There's no way that I'll ever find another

collection like that, forget about it.

Come on, Roy. Let's skip the speed bag.

Oh, give 'em some tickets to my next fight, man, or something.

He needs to learn some, look at him.

Gosh.

Come on, let's go.

Let me get my bag first.

Man, Marlon, what are we gonna do?

I mean, I haven't seen pops this mad since you were born.

I know.

You think he'll ever start talking to us again?

Of course, he will, he's our father.

Besides, we still have our unpaid tab at the diner.

Hey, look who's on TV.

Your boy, Roy Jones Jr.

Ew, let me turn this up.

I'm gonna punch him in his face when I see him.

We're here with Roy Jones Jr., the undefeated champion

who's been in the news lately for acquiring a rather large

boxing memorabilia collection.

Maybe I'd be undefeated too

if I had crack-heads in my division.

So, Roy, tomorrow is your big fight, any predictions?

Well, to tell you the truth, I really haven't been able to

concentrate on the fight.

Whoa, you're telling me, Roy Jones Jr.

isn't ready for the big fight?

You, the undisputed, undefeated Light Heavyweight champion

with that powerful left?

Not really not ready, but I just haven't been

able to concentrate.

I lost a bag this afternoon

containing some very personal items

with a lot of sentimental value to 'em.

'I'd do whatever I can to get it back.'

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, champ.

When did you figure out it was missing?

Well, when I went to reach for my bag

someone had put this in its place.

But instead of my stuff being inside

all I found was a tub of Vaseline

and a half-eaten pack of Now and Laters.

That's my sentimental stuff.

- What? - Shawn, he got my Vaseline.

And it's the baby fresh powder kind, Shawn.

Shawn, he got my half-eaten Now and Laters.

It was the mystery mix, Shawn. They don't sell those no more.

Marlon, you got Roy Jones Jr.'s duffle bag, man.

We gotta give this back to him.

No, no, no, I ain't giving him back nothing.

Shoo, he got pops' collection and we got his bag.

I ain't giving him jack.

Wait a minute.

We could use this to get pops' collection back.

You know what, I'mma call that number.

Wait, Shawn, Shawn, if you call the number

then he's gonna think it's us and we did it on purpose.

He's not gonna know it's us. I'm gonna change my voice.

Watch, I'm gonna disguise my voice.

Oh yeah, come on, Mel Blanc.

Yeah, ha ha ha.

Yeah, hello?

Yeah, I'm calling to tell you that

if Roy Jones Jr. wants his stuff back

he's gonna have to meet me at his boxing gym

where he trains in one hour.

Okay?

There we'll exchange his duffle bag

for his newly acquired boxing collection.

And by the way, I know what you did last summer.

Don't try anything funny.

Or the bag will get it.

And bring some Funyuns.

[hip hop music]

Hello?

(Marlon) 'That's far enough.'

You got the stuff?

Yeah, I got it right here.

What about our other demands?

I said what about our other demands?

Yes, I brought the Funyuns.

Don't make any sudden moves.

Hands up.

Alright.

Except for those nappy chest hairs, he's clean.

Alright, man, look. I met your demands, now where's my bag?

Alright.

You shut up.

We're in charge here, understand me?

I said, understand me?

Yes, I got you.

Alright.

Let's do this.

On the count of three.

One!

Two.

- Two and a half.. - Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I can't do this, man.

Shawn, what are you doing, man?

He's not supposed to know it's us, Shawn.

Well, thank you, stupid, you just told him my name.

I didn't tell him your last name was Shawn Williams.

You again?

Here, Roy, man, take your bag.

And you can keep the collection.

Shawn, what are you doing? Are you crazy, man?

That's our family legacy right there.

Marlon, look, this ain't the way to do it, okay?

We're not criminals.

But.. Do I have to give back the Funyuns?

Yes, yes, my mother's pendant.

Wait a minute.

You guys didn't steal my Rolex.

What kind of criminals are you?

Wait a minute, you had a Rolex in there?

We didn't know that, come on.

Stop it, stop it, man.

Look, man, I told you, we're not criminals, okay.

It's just that-that collection has been in our family

longer than sickle cell.

Yeah, man. Our father hasn't talked to us, since we lost it.

Damn, it's like that, huh?

- Yeah, man - Yeah.

[sighs] Sure is a good-lookin' collection, man.

Tell you what I'd do.

Just give my money back, take your collection

and we'll call it even.

Bet.

It's all there, except for $2 we had to get here.

Car fare, brother.

Sure hate to give up on that collection

but I guess that makes us even.

We're even. Good looking out, man, you a true champ.

- Appreciate it. - Word up.

Boy. You the man, man. You the man.

Hey! And I don't care what my brother says about your rappin'.

- I think you dope. - So what you sayin'?

You sayin' your brother think I can't flow or somethin'?

I didnt' say it, that's what he said.

- I, I-- - He said you was whack.

He said that..

He said Vanilla Ice was better than you.

Vanilla Ice?

He said Master..

He said Master P's uh-h-h..

...was beating you.

- He said, that guy, uh.. - You said that?

- Uh, juvenile. - He said it.

You think you're all tough now?

He, he said it.

Give me a beat, man.

[beatboxing]

♪ Mr. Jones I'm a straight survivor ♪

♪ I'm rippin' the track I'm giving it back ♪

♪ To the producer live I'm checkin' ♪

♪ Anything that's in my way I'm breakin' ♪

♪ No questions my mission is to mash and dash ♪

♪ Mash and dash locker room smell like ass ♪

♪ Makin' love techniques some of the ladies ♪

♪ They will call me fast 'cause I don't last ♪

♪ Marlon the great I retaliate with the mind state ♪

♪ And blow up like big like Oprah's weight ♪

♪ And fluctuate and I'm out ♪

♪ I'm the master of disaster I rhyme real faster ♪

♪ Or sometimes I rhyme slow ♪

♪ Because I'll be tired sometimes ♪♪

- What? - You suck.

That was awful.

I didn't finish.

Y'all didn't hear.. I-I wasn't finished.

That was just the beginning.

[instrumental music]

So anyway, pops, that's how we got everything back.

- Right. - Well, boys, I am touched.

You boys went through all that trouble

for something I care for.

- Come on, pops. - You know we love you.

Oh, man, that was nice. That was nice.

Hey, well you know, brother.

You know we got love for you, pops.

So now will you change your will back?

Yeah, I'm gonna do it.

He gonna change the will back. I get the bow tie.

And the white shoes, they're mine. They're mine.

Speaking of the shoes, pop. We can't find those platform shoes.

- Have you seen 'em? - I can't say I have.

Um, gotta go.

♪ I believe in miracles ♪

♪ Where you from you sexy thing ♪

♪ I believe in miracles ♪

(Marlon) Go, pops, go, pops, go, pops.

To the side, to the side.

Now, slide and jump.

Slide and jump.

Now, frog step, frog step.

Callate, callate.

Callate, callate, callate.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

Bailar, bailar, bailar.

Bailar, bailar, bailar.

Bailar, bailar, bailar.

- Uno, dos, tres, cuatro. - Si.

- Uno, dos, tres, cuatro. - Si.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, stop! It's hammer time.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say cheese.