Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Are you mad? What the hell do you think you're..

...doin'.

[chuckles] Hi, friend.

- Watch where you're goin'. - Oh, gee, I'm sorry.

That was my bad. Let me get that for you.

Uh, you're gonna have to get that yourself.

You know, sorry ain't good enough, punk!

I should put my foot in your behind!

Oh, yeah?

Make me.

Get-get off me! Get off me.

[screaming]

[screaming]

Yo,nokta, You got beef?

- Yeah, man. - Ah!

- Get off me. - Hey, hey, what you doing?

Hey, you set trippin' up in here?

You set trippin' up in here?

Now you back off of him, brother!

Y-you don't know me. I'm crazy. I'm from Detroit.

I'll shake your..

That's right, pop. Shake him, pop, shake him!

Well, my boys, it ain't that serious now, boys, it ain't.

[banging] Hey, excuse me? Is there a problem?

'Cause I'll introduce you to my problem-solver.

- Outta here! - That's right, Dee.

- Take his manhood, Dee. - 'Come on, outta here.'

- Take his manhood. - See.

You're a bigger punk than what I thought.

You're probably wearin' women's panties.

So?

You're just a littlebiatch!

You know, real men fight their own battles.

I don't care.

Peace out.

You think you buff 'cause you got a lot of jackets on?

Slap you in the...mouth and the back of your head.

Boy, you failed up! Now get-get outta here!

You don't know me, son! [indistinct], I swear.

- 'Come on.' - 'He don't know me, Dee.'

- Spittin' on me like that. - It's okay.

Dee, he don't know me. I'm crazy, Dee.

- Dee, I'm crazy! - Hey, settle down.

- Dee. S-Shawn, you know me. - Yo, chill.

- I know you're crazy. - You know me.

You're crazy, you're mad crazy.

I'm sayin', I was just about to go WWF on him, Shawn.

I was about to do Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

- Well, oh, yeah! - 'Oh, yeah.'

Let me tell you somethin', brother.

Yeah!

Now get these two inch pythons

wrapped around your neck, brother, you're gonna get..

[gibberish]

Yeah, brother! Whoa!

If he was here right now, I swear

I swear to God, I would, I would just--

I, I, I would what?

I-I-I, I'd run like a little biatch?

[screaming]

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Gimme a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys!'

'Dynamite!'

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

S-six!

Mm, yeah.

S-seven!

Hm, I feel that. Yeah.

Eight!

Ninety...seven.

Ninety-eight.

Ninety-nine.

- Hu.. - Come on, put it up.

Put it up. Put it up.

- Yeah! - Just one, kid!

- Yeah, yeah! - A hundred, baby.

Aah! Aah!

Hey, Shawn. Damn!

Marlon, what kind of ghetto workout is this?

Whatchu talkin' about?

Just tryin' to get my swole on, baby.

I hope you wasn't watchin' that Jimmy Walker

workout video again.

You don't wanna test the mighty kid!

Dynamite!

You watch, baby, couple of days

they're gonna be callin' me Big Marlon.

Alright, you keep eatin' bad food

they're gonna be callin' you Big Marlon Brando.

[laughs]

[nasal accent] Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

I can't refuse.

I'm just tired of you and pop

always havin' to stick up for me, fightin' my battles.

I feel you, kid. I understand.

You know, if you really wanna learn how to..

[coughs] If you really wanna learn how to defend yourself

all you gotta do is when we finish eatin'

I'll take you down to the gym and teach you how to box.

[grunts]

- Yeah, that'll be cool. - 'Okay?'

[groans]

You know I loosened that up for you, right?

Yeah.

One, two, three

four, five, hey

six, seven.

[choking] Oh, God!

[groaning] Uh, Shawn..

Oh, snap. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh.

[groaning]

- Sorry about that, kid. - Ooh!

- Ooh! - Got the pump?

You're pumped up? Come on, let's go hit the heavy bag.

- Yeah. - Come on.

- I feel it, kid. - Yeah.

I feel it already.

- I look bigger? - Yeah.

- I'm a little bigger, right? - Uh-huh.

- Your elbows look bigger. - Alright, cool.

Here you go.

Alright, now..

Pretend this bag right here

is the dude from the newsstand.

The dude from the newsstand, right?

He's right there.

[screaming]

- I'm not playin', man, come on! - What?

Do you wanna learn how to fight or what?

- Come on! - Alright. Alright.

- Dude from the newsstand. - Dude from the newsstand.

- There you go, man. - Do the punch, do the punch.

A little shuffle, little shuffle, little shuffle.

There you go, yeah. Yeah.

[grunting]

Stop it, man! Hey.

This ain't the ultimate fightin' challenge.

Come on, man!

Now, remember that bully

that used to beat you up in high school?

- Yeah. - Pretend this bag is her.

Okay.

Yeah, how you like that? Hey.

How you like that, Sister Mary Francis, huh?

Do you like that, huh?

You ain't so tough without "The Bible" in your hand, huh?

You go on and do that. I'mma go talk to this girl, alright?

- Jam, jam and punch. - 'Go on.'

This is gonna be the perfect place to start

the documentary on your career, champ.

'T-tell us your story, we'll get it all on tape.'

Here's where it all started.

Well, what does it feel like being back here

so long after your retirement?

Well, it bring back some good memories.

This is the same bag I used to punch.

Huh, who's the punk now, huh?

Who's the punk now?

Who wears women's underwear, huh?

Huh? I do, and that's only

because they're comfortable, punk! Huh?

Now, this is a fighter with issue.

- One for the shoulder. - Hm, sure.

Come on, give your best shot, your best shot.

- Give everything? - Everything!

- You want everything? - Everything!

- You want everything? - Everything.

Everythi-i-ing!

[grunting]

Oh, my God!

Hey, yo, Marlon, you know what you just did?

What?

You just knocked out

Manuel "The Hot Pepper" Lopez!

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

- You got me. - Ooh! Yo, Dee, guess what?

Marlon just knocked out Manuel "The Hot Pepper" Lopez

down at the gym.

The hot Latin boxer with the Superman curl?

Oh, I don't believe you!

- Oh, you better believe me. - No.

[speaking in foreign language]

Listen, y'all, I'm tellin' you.

I was there, I see with my own eyes

he decked him, clocked him, boom!

- He was out in one shot. - Ooh!

Man, that Lopez is one bad dude.

You know he retired undefeated, don't you?

'He hit his last opponent so hard'

they had to get a proctologist

to try to find the boy's mouthpiece.

Do you know what a proctologist is?

A booty doctor!

And they'd never found it.

Pop, pop, look, it-it-it doesn't even count, okay? I..

He wasn't, he wasn't even expecting it.

That's my boy!

The whole William sucker punch.

What's wrong, son? You don't look too good.

Because, pop, now-now think about it.

What if Lopez comes after me?

He'd beat me up so bad, I'd look like Craig Mack.

Aha, don't worry about that, Marlon. No, no, no.

Hot Pepper was a professional boxer with the WBA.

The only place he could have fought you was in the ring.

She got a point there, if he touches you

he loses his place in the Hall Of Fame.

And if he does

you sucker punch him again.

Look, Lopez.. Boo!

Y'all, the best part about it is, they got it on tape.

They're showin' it tonight on ESPN.

Hey, I'm telling you, kid, with all this free publicity

I'mma sell mad T-shirts, y'all.

I'm going underground like Master P.

I'm "Bout It, Bout It."

[groans]

Well, mm-hmm.

Y'all just keep it to yourselves, alright?

Uh, look, I-I don't want nobody knowin' about this.

I don't wanna make no big deal about it, alright?

Ghetto.

(Shawn) 'Here we go, people!'

Here we go, neighborhood kid knocks out champ.

Come get your Marlon "The Sucker Punch" William

T-shirt right here.

With every purchase you get a free pair

of Clarence Carter shades.

I be stokin'!

Alright, Jo Jo Dancer, you wanna autograph?

- Here you go. - Ah, come on, man.

No more autographs, Shawn.

My knock-out hand's startin' to cramp up. See, look.

Oh, I'm sorry, Sucker Punch.

Ladies, could you massage his knock-out hand, please?

[chuckles] Uh, well, you know

my inner thighs are a little sore, too.

What?

Why y'all trippin'?

Why y'all trippin'?

Pepper time!

Pepper time!

Where's Marlon Williams at?

Shawn, I told you this wasn't a good idea.

I told you this was gonna happen.

Now, he's gonna beat me up, and I'll have lumps

all over my head just like Rakim!

Come on, man. I told you, he can't touch you, man.

Now stop actin' like a punk. Stand up to this guy, man.

You're gonna ruin our T-shirt business.

Go on.

- There you are, huh. - Mm-hmm.

Yo, man, you clowned me, man, on national TV, man.

- That's a sucker punch. - A sucker punch?

Let me tell you somethin', punk.

I'll show you a sucker punch, I'll hit you so hard

I'll straighten out that little Puerto Rican Jerry curl, baby.

- Back off, punk. - Wait, what?

A punk? Who you callin' a punk?

I'll fight you any time, any place, you little Goya bean.

Are you challenging me?

Darn right, I'm challengin' you, punk!

We accept. Three rounds for charity.

I'm gonna rip you open, man.

- Bust you up. - Man, get outta here.

Get outta here with your Kirk Franklin suit.

- Are you with me? - Pepper time!

Shawn...he's gonna kill me.

He's gonnanele mi culo.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[Marlon panting]

[panting]

No more. I'm too tired.

I'm too tired.

Marlon, man, you just ran up the stairs.

Well, you haven't even started workin' out yet.

Oh, my bad.

I don't know if I want to fight him, Shawn.

I mean, what if I get brain damage?

Don't worry, Marlon, it can't happen to you twice.

Now, look, Marlon, this could be the biggest thing

that ever happened to us, man.

You know how many T-shirts we could sell?

Yeah, and the one we don't sell

we could use to wipe up my blood.

Now, stop being a punk, man.

- I'm being no punk. - You are, man.

This guy is old, man.

You got youth on your side.

- He hasn't fought in years! - Hm.

Marlon, I'm tellin' you, I know I can get you in shape

to fight at least three rounds.

- Oh, yeah? - Trust me.

You know, by the time I get done with you

you're gonna be stronger than Diana Ross's hairweave.

- Word? - Word.

[instrumental music]

♪ Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack ♪

♪ All dressed in black black black ♪

♪ She saw my back back back ♪

♪ Get some crack crack crack ♪♪

[indistinct chattering]

She was whack. But she was real, real crack.

Tellin' you, man, it's crazy.

You're gonna sell this right, Webster?

Okay, Web.

Whoo!

Hey, what's up, little man?

You want me to sign this for you?

No, rubberneck, that's where I got my wheelchair.

When Pepper's done with you, you're gonna need one, too!

[laughs]

Hey, what are you doing, man?

Hey, hey, man, what're you doing?

Hey, security!

[grunting]

Huh,papi,

You like that?

Gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him!

Do you wanna play? Okay.

Say hello to my little friend!

Alright, take that!

God, God!

Boom, check, boo.

I got the tuff buff now, baby.

[instrumental music]

Sleepin' pills?

[sobbing] Marlon, no!

Marlon!

No!

Why!

- Marlon? - Huh?

- Get up, wake up. - Why, what happened?

- Wh-what happened? - Get up, come on.

- We got beaten? - We gotta go to the hospital.

- We got beaten? - Come on, kid.

You're gonna have to walk, bro.

You're gonna have to walk, you're too heavy.

- What happened? - Come here.

- Oh, my God! Alright. - Alright, well.

- Why did you do it, man? - What did I do now?

What did you do?

I didn't mean to sleep with her.

Just walk. You got to puff your stomach. We gotta..

[belching]

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Shawn, what's wrong with you?

Marlon, I know you took all those pills

so you don't have to fight tomorrow, man. Come on!

Hey, I ain't take no pills so I don't have to fight!

There was only one sleeping pill left in that damn thing!

...sleep smackin' me. What's wrong with you, boy?

This whole thing is crazy, Marlon.

I got greedy.

I got greedy tryin' to sell all these T-shirts, man.

I wasn't lookin' out for you.

I'm callin' this whole thing off.

Oh, no, wait, wait. Chill, Shawn.

Don't call it off. Let it go, now.

Look, black, my whole life you and pop

been standin' up for me, man.

It's time I stand up for myself.

Alright. I'm with you.

- Alright. - Alright.

What you doin'?

Oh, uh, takin' your picture

so the plastic surgeon will have

somethin' to work from.

[instrumental music]

And now entering the ring..

...retired, undefeated champion and gold medalist..

..."Hot Pepper" Lopez!

[audience applauding]

And in this corner..

...also undefeated since he never had a fight

in his entire life..

(Manuel) 'That'll be his last one, too.'

...Marlon "Sucker Punch" William!

[indistinct singing]

[singing continues]

I want you, babe, I want you!

[singing continues]

Where you at? What's up? I'm-I'm right here, baby.

- Now, look, I'm cool! - Alright.

Get that clown inside here.

Hey, yo, don't talk about my brother, alright?

- What's up, baby? What's up? - You know, I heard..

I heard about protection, but what's all this?

Hey, well, look at all of this.

Well, you're like a Puerto Rican Caligula.

Let's go.

Go, son.

Touch your gloves, come on now.

What's up? Where you at?

[indistinct chattering]

(Shawn) 'Hey, brother, tell him to get off of my brother.'

Okay.

- Look at that, baby. - Let's go.

[indistinct chattering]

(Shawn) 'Stick your move. Stick your move.'

[indistinct chattering]

Salsa, baby. Salsa. Oh, yeah!

[bell dings]

[screaming]

[all chanting] Sucker Punch! Sucker Punch!

Sucker Punch! Sucker Punch!

Sucker Punch! Sucker Punch!

Sucker Punch! Sucker Punch!

Sucker Punch! Sucker Punch!

That's my boy, The Sucker Punch.

- Cut me, Shawn. - Alright.

- Cut me, cut me! - Alright.

Marlon, he didn't even punch you in your face yet.

Oh. My bad.

Adrian!

Adrian!

'Adrian!'

So, well, which one of Spice Girls are you?

[bell dings]

Stick your move, stick your move stick your move, son.

- Stick your move, Marlon. - Stick your move, Marlon.

Stick your move!

[bell dings]

(Manuel) 'Get out of here, punk!'

[screaming]

(Shawn) 'Hey, what's wrong with you?'

Go get him now.

- Yeah, you did it! - Marlon, throw in the towel!

Throw in the towel!

No towel! I'm goin' the distance.

Grease me up, pop! Hey, hey, hey.

Hold up. Don't use all my Vaseline.

Save some for later.

More, baby. More. Yeah.

- How's that? - Let's go.

[audience cheering]

[bell dings]

Let's go,papi.papi.

Come on,papi.

Stick your move, stick your move, stick your move.

Hey, come on.

Your turn, your turn, your turn.

[screaming]

(Shawn) 'Get him, Marlon! Get him!'

Punch him in his curl. Yeah!

Stick your move, stick your move, stick your move.

What, what?

[thud]

[echoing] 'Marlon.'

One!

Get up!

- 'Two!' - Get up!

- Three! - Stay down!

- Stay down! - 'Four!'

'Five!'

Six!

Ew! Stop spittin'!

'Seven.'

Stay down!

'Eight!'

[laughs]

I told you so!

[laughs]

[thud]

'Nine!'

[audience cheering]

Are you okay? You alright?

Yeah. I'm alright.

[bell dings]

- 'He did it!' - 'He did it.'

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

I went the distance!

But I won the fight! I won the fight!

Ah,de la monga!

[instrumental music]

Hey, kid, you scared me for a minute. But you did it.

You stood up for yourself. I'm proud of you, kid.

- I heard you represented. - Ha ha.

- Word up. - Thanks, man.

Oh, in that case..

...where's my half of the money for the T-shirts?

Oh, uh, you know, you know, that's different.

[laughs] Oh, I know, I know.

I know, you better give me my money.

- Hey, hey, give me my money. - Hey, hey. Hey.

What's up, boy? I got skills.

See, now, now.

- Oh, yeah, brother! - Oh, yeah.

Yeah, brother!

(Shawn) 'Stick your move! Stick your move!'

Get him up, get him up. There you go!

[indistinct chattering]

Salsa, baby.

(Pops) Keep your distance. Keep your distance.

Keep your distance. Keep your distance.

Keep your distance.

Keep your distance.

[bell dings]

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese."