Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Oh, one happy face.

Pops, I know you are so proud

that Marlon went off and became a big time stage actor, huh.

Can't wait to see my baby boy.

After three months on the road with Keith Sweat.

Hmm, you give me three hours

with Keith Sweat.

Now, that would be a show. Keith..

Dee, Dee!

Ugh!

- Yo, what's up, y'all? - How are you doing, baby?

Hey, I got Marlon's favorite triple-layer cake.

- Ooh. - First layer chocolate.

Second layer vanilla, and third layer edible panty drawers.

Oh.

"Welcome home, Merlin?"

Oh, damn, man. Now I gotta take it back.

No, no, no, uh, he's gonna be here any minute.

Wait, let me fix it. Hold on one second.

"Welcome home, Moron."

Perfect, pop.

Oh, hey, everybody. He's here. He's here.

Oh, now I hope all the success

didn't make him change up on us, you know.

You crazy, not my baby brother.

- Oh. - Not my baby boy.

Marlon Williams is in the hiz-house.

Marlon.

Watch that, watch that, watch that.

Oh.

She might have a gun underneath the bullets.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Yeah, she look vaguely familiar.

Marlon, my boy. My boy.

Watch the old man, he look a little shady.

Frisk him, he look like he don't wash right.

Get him back.

What's up, kid, yo?

- What's up? - What's up? Bow!

Let's keep it right there.

Alright, cool, thank you.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print.'

'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.'

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

Jacket. Thank you.

Yo, man, where'd you get them liquor store shades?

Look like them glasses they keep over by the cheese doodles.

[laughing]

Pa dam pa dam tsk. Pow.

Not funny.

Anyway, it's good to have you back.

Yeah, it's good to be back. Can you please?

You're wrinkling the DKNY. Thank you.

Marlon?

How was it working

with a big star like Keith Sweat?

Like Keith Sweat? Dee, I'm the big star.

You better read these reviews.

Hey, come on.

Come on, light skin, you got to be faster than that.

Eh, milk dud.

Get on your man.

It's right here. Read that.

"Keith Sweat is brilliant in the role of--"

- No, not that. - Oh you, boy!

Are you gonna finish readin' that or what?

That's what I thought.

You finish. Eyes down. Get on that.

[laughs]

"There are no words to describe Marlon Williams'

stage performance short of spell binding?"

Comma, keep your eye on the new hot talent period

quote and quote, thank you.

Wow, kid. You gonna beat Chris Tucker out this year

for the NAACP award.

[high-pitched] And you know this man.

What about me, what about us, man, what about us?

Excuse me, too loud, fold ears. Can't hear no more.

Don't worry, guys. I just want you guys to know something.

No matter how big I get

no matter how insignificant you little people

become in my life..

...I'll never forget you.

The little people.

- And Marlon. - Hmm?

Since I'm still your father, I want you to know

no matter how big you get..

...I can still whip your ass.

Hey, hey, hey. Get him, get him, hold.

Y'all want some of this too, huh?

Send me a bottle of your most expensive

water for my bath.

Also send me up 100 green M&Ms.

And, uh, four cheese burgers.

No cheese.

Thank you.

Woo-ha!

Marl, where'd you get all this stuff, huh?

They look like a ghetto shop image in here.

I just went on a little shopping spree, bro.

Why do you need a snowmobile in Harlem for?

Shawn...you silly negro.

Now that I'm rich, I'm gonna buy stuff I don't need.

Marlon, can I tell you a little secret?

- What? - You ain't rich.

Yeah, but I will be. Shawn, my play is a hit, kid.

I'm just gonna live out my dreams, baby. Hoo.

The way you're keepin' up, you'll be livin' 'em out

in a cardboard box.

Remember these two words. MC Hammer.

First it was all good

and now it's all gone.

Hey, fool, you straight trippin'.

Come, look at this, man.

Look at this pretty TV over here.

Look at this 47-inch bad girl.

Look at her.

That's my baby.

- Well, you know what I think? - 'What?'

I think you should take some of this stuff back.

- And get your cash. - Cash?

Shawn, rich people don't use cash.

We use credit.

Man, you've got more plastic than Payless Shoes.

'Come on, let's gather around, people. Time for cast prayer.'

It's almost magic time in this crazy business

we call...show.

Hoo.

Dear Lord..

Thank you for our last success.

God, I always wanted, uh, to ask you for the strength

to personally have a good performance

for my family and for that TIME critic

that's sittin' in the audience though.

Please give him the strength to recognize a real talent

when he sees one.

Lord, please give me the strength

to keep from droppin' this brother

if he keeps stealin' my lines, like he has been

for the last two weeks.

'Cause you know, Father, Marlon is tryin' to take over

the whole show, Lord.

Excuse me, Lord, while I attend to these two asses.

What are you talkin' about?

I'm doin' what I gotta do to save this show.

Thank you.

Look, let me tell you somethin'.

It doesn't need savin'.

Look, yes, it does. Okay?

And I'm been carryin' you since we started.

- Carryin' me? - Yeah.

Go take a look at that sign out front.

I'm the star, and without me there is no show.

I guess you've been carryin' me too.

Hell, no. You'd break my back.

What you say, boy?

I said, uh, did you see "The Men In Black?"

It was a great movie.

'You have to see "The Men In Black."'

'Cause you got four aliens up under your skirt.

Oh, Lord. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna pay the rent?

I done prayed on it.

And I hoped it wouldn't come to this.

But Shady Otis said I can have my job back

at the Boom Boom Room. Shaking my money maker.

Mama, no.

No, mama.

No, mama.

Mama, you promised me, you wouldn't dance no more.

Mama, you promised me.

Oh, you promised me, mama.

But, baby, I've got to pay. That is the only way.

We ain't gots to dance no more, mama.

You don't have to do it, mama.

Mama, I got the rent.

I got the rent!

Yeah, Travis got the rent.

No, mama, I got the rent tonight, okay.

Mama, they took out one of my liver for the rent, mama.

- They took it. - I got the rent.

I sold one of my livers.

Why are you stealin' my lines?

Because you don't tell them right.

It doesn't matter who got the rent

all that matters is that we're together.

Baby.

Let mama tell you a story.

You mean you're gonna tell us a story about

when you went marching with Dr. Martin Luther King

Ju-u-uni-o-r, mama.

You went marching, mama, when them dogs came after you

and they bit you, mama.

You just kept on gettin' up, mama.

You had the Lord on your big back..

I guess I won't be tellin' that story tonight.

- Travis. - Yes, mama.

Why don't you sing mama a happy song?

Sure, mama.

[mellow music]

♪ Oh happy day ♪ ♪ Oh happy day ♪

♪ Oh happy day ♪ ♪ Oh happy day ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ He washed my sins away now pray everyday ♪

♪ He dipped me down in holy water ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ Aaaa-a-a-a ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ Washed my sins away ♪♪

Hold up, hold up.

Ladies and gentlemen..

if I were you, I would ask for my money back

because as far as I'm concerned this show is over.

I'm shutting it down.

I quit.

I'm with you.

- Ah, see? He hittin' that. - Come on, forget them.

Who needs a platinum audience anyway, right?

Come on, y'all. Everybody.

♪ When Jesus comes ♪

Kirk Franklin style.

♪ When Jesus comes ♪

[indistinct chattering]

♪ When Jesus comes ♪♪

Oh, snap. Look what happened.

Keith Sweat is back.

♪ Make it last forever ♪

♪ Ever ♪

♪ Make it last oh yeah right now ♪

- 'Go on.' - 'Keep singing.'

Hey, hey, hey. Don't look over there.

Focus on us. Do your thing.

'Look straight ahead.'

[instrumental music]

Marlon, will you come on, man.

The guys gotta take the stuff back to the store.

[sobbing]

Wait, wait, wait.

Pancho, Mira.

Before you take my baby from my bosom

can I please have a minute alone with her?

[speaking in Spanish]

Alone. Over there, Mira.

I'm gonna miss you, Mitzu.

You promise me, when someone else touches

your knobs, you'll think of me.

Oh, I love you.

- Don't you forsake me. - Come on, boy.

- Okay. - Take it away, y'all.

Okay, okay. Now, you be good, okay?

I promise when I get some money I'm gonna send for you.

I love you.

I promise when I get the money I'll send for you.

You be good to her.

Marlon, did you give back that cell phone?

You know what, I couldn't find it.

Shawn, I, I swear, I couldn't find it.

Marlon, where's the phone?

Shawn, I looked everywhere for it.

I just could not find it.

I mean, it bugged me out too, I just couldn't find it.

But you know, as soon as I find it.

I'm gonna send it to you guys, I promise. Scouts honor.

[cell phone rings]

Chello, Casanova of the ghetto speakin'.

Yes, can I speak to Mr. Marlon Williams, please?

- Yes, this is he. - Give back the damn phone, boy!

Boy, these fiber optics are good.

Sounds like you're right here in this room.

Oh, come on, Shawn.

Besides, as soon as I get a new gig

I'm gonna get all my stuff back, anyway.

- Shoot. - No offense, kid.

What you did at that play was filthy.

- You know that, right? - 'Oh, stop it, stop it.'

You made Keith Sweat quit the play.

I didn't make him quit the play.

Shawn, he quit 'cause he couldn't take the competition.

- Face it. - Yeah, well, whatever.

All I know is when the word gets around about your performance

you landin' your next acting gig ain't gonna be that easy.

So, what are you sayin'?

You sayin' you ain't got confidence

I'mma land back on my feet?

It's not about you landin' back on your feet--

No, it is about me landin' back on--

You're a Williams, okay?

You'll always land back on your feet.

But you're not gonna stay there long

if you keep this attitude up.

I don't have attitude! Thank you!

You need to check yourself 'cause you got

the attitude, alright?

You're the one that got attitude.

You never did believe in me, Shawn.

Never did.

- Alright? - I don't believe in you?

- No, you don't believe in me. - I don't believe in you?

No, you don't.

I believe in you more than you even know, okay?

Yeah, right.

You know, I wasn't gonna go here with you

but you-you need to hear this, okay?

'Cause your head is getting too big.

The only reason why your play didn't go out of business..

...is because I put my money up.

That's right. I tried to help you with your dream.

And you ruined it with your ego.

For both of us.

[instrumental music]

Shawn, Shawn.

I found the way to turn my business around.

Whose face do you see on this honey bun?

- I don't know. - Sammy Davis Junior.

Look at the eye. It's lookin' right at you.

It's a miracle, son. I've been blessed.

Pop, what are you gonna do with this thing?

I'm gonna build a shrine.

Millions of people are gonna come from all over the world

to talk to Sammy on the other side.

Oh, yeah, brother. You gonna get paid.

You should put it on the internet under

www.sammyseye.

[laughs]

That ain't funny, son.

You should be ashamed of yourself

talkin' about Sammy like that.

- Dee, no! - What?

Pop just found that miracle bun that looked like Sammy Davis Jr.

and you just ate it.

Woman, are you out of your damn mind?

What do you have to say for yourself?

Got milk?

Million of dollars gone down the drain.

'Cause of one bite, son.

What's up. What's the deal, yo?

How's the job search going, son?

Oh, man, it's going good, pop. It got me a gig already.

Hey, don't worry, man, I'll have you that money in no time.

Oh, man, don't worry about it.

Hey, look, kid, I wanted to tell you that, uh..

...sorry the way I came at you earlier.

No, no, no, you-you was right. I, I deserved it.

What kind of job is this, son? Another show?

Yeah, it's, it's a show.

Yeah, I guess you can call it that, yeah.

Well, we'll be there to support you.

No, it's alright, pop.

You know, I.. I'm a little nervous at first.

So I'm gonna get in touch with my character and everything.

And then you guys can come down, okay?

So, just wait a while. I'll see you later, okay?

Hmm, something's not right here, Shawn.

Normally, Marlon would beg us to come to his gigs.

I know, and where's he gonna

get all that money in three weeks?

You don't think he's gonna do something freaky, do you?

You talkin' about the same Marlon?

Oh, Lord! Lord! Lord!

I've lost my son to the streets, Shawn.

Pops, look, I just found a donut that look like

the old Michael Jackson.

Now go put some powdered sugar on it so it can look like

the new Michael Jackson.

Let's go, son.

[instrumental music]

Yo, yo, yo. What's up, little children?

My name is Pirate Leroy.

Yo, yo, yo, and a bottle of activator.

[Marlon laughing]

Activate, yo, yo. Hoo.

Anyway, this here is my pet parrot, Polly. Come on.

That's not a parrot, that a pigeon.

I said, it's a damn parrot.

You interrupt me again, I'mma kick you with my little nub.

'Anyway, come on, children, y'all gather around.'

I'mma tell you a story. Come on.

Come on, Jane Brady.

This better be good, 'cause you stink like fish.

Oh, yeah? Well, you interrupt me again

I'mma cut your little weave off.

You hear me, with my hook.

Raven-Symone.

Anyway, once upon a time

Pirate Leroy was cruising the seven seas.

You know, all of a sudden

I just passed by the Crincho Islands.

'All of a sudden..'

along came a low-ridin' sailboat.

He put up next to me and said

"Break yourself, fool, break yourself, fool.

Break yourself, you jacket fool."

I said, "What you sat trippin' off up in here?

Pacific Ocean, fool." He said, "West side."

Then he put out the cannon, and he blew my leg off.

And I started runnin' around with one leg, runnin'..

...and then he sailed off.

And that..

...was the first sail-by..

...shootin' ever happened.

You suck, man. Bring on a mermaid.

Pop, man, this is worse than I thought.

Yeah, he sold his leg.

No, pop, I'm talkin' about this gig.

Alright, [indistinct]. Who wants some ice cream?

We don't take anything from strangers.

Well, I'm not a stranger.

Your mama knows me.

Now, who wants some rocky road?

We don't want rocky road. We want vanilla.

We don't have vanilla. We only got rocky road.

[shouting in unison] We want vanilla!

- We want vanilla! - No.

- We want vanilla! - Ow!

- We want vanilla! - Ow-w!

- We want vanilla! - Ow!

- We want vanilla! - 'Oo-ow!'

We want vanilla!

Oh, what's happening?

I'm a trained actor.

I worked with Keith Sweat.

Let's go help your brother.

Hey, hey, you little kids.

Uh, umm, Power Rangers is beatin' Barney up outside.

'Let's go, come on up.'

What're you guys doing here?

I don't want y'all to see me like this.

Well, I can see why.

Oh, you look like a gay Captain Crunch.

Hey, was this the best gig you could get?

Shawn, I'm been on two auditions every day

for the past week, man.

Nobody wants to hire me because of my reputation.

So it was either this or all male version

of Shakespeare's Romeo and Big Curtis.

Good choice.

See here.

Here's $300. They paid me a month's advance.

Marlon, man, I told you it's not about the money.

I know, I just wanted to pay you back.

You wanna pay me back?

Pay me back by the next time you have a good thing going

don't blow it by ego trippin'.

Yeah and look on the bright side, Marlon.

Your acting clean was good while it lasted

but now you can move on to other things.

Let me ask you something, pop.

Something like this make you give up on your dream?

Yeah, son. It would.

Pops is only playin' around, man.

Hey, look, we still believe in you.

And until you land your next big gig..

...you always got a job back at the newsstand with me.

Thanks, kid.

You know, y'all boys come on home.

Marlon, bring me that bird. I'm gonna make a six piece.

Rice or somethin'.

- Hey, Shawn. - What's up?

Uh, see if it's not about the money, uh..

...could I get that $300 back?

- No. - Come on, brother.

Come on, how you gonna say no to a, to a brother with one leg?

Come on, Shawn. Help me up, man.

Use that $300, give me one pair of Air Jordan.

Well, actually, all I need is one.

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

We could be a group, yo.

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ When Jesus washed ♪

♪ He washed my sins.. ♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ Sure enough ♪ ♪ Washed them ♪

♪ Away ♪

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese."