Original subtitles

Hey, boy. These magazine racks look sharp.

Like I always say, if you want somethin' done right

you gotta do it yourself.

Well, that explains your love life.

Nobody try and take credit for my work.

I did all the painting.

So, I don't care.

I'm the boss, you're just a loyal employee.

I'm the quarterback, and you're just the water boy.

- Yeah, alright. - I'm Gladys Knight.

And you're the Pip.

You damn right. Call me Superfly.

[gibberish]

Tricks better have my money, hear me?

I said the Pip.

Oh.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print.'

'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite. That is..'

♪ Girl what you got ♪

♪ Goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like I got something.. ♪

- Good morning. - Hey, Monique.

What do you think of our brand new magazine racks?

[chuckles] Well, they certainly are bright.

Oh, I know, girl, I did that on purpose.

See, I read that, uh, bright colors triggers impulse buying.

That's ridiculous. Oh, Gummy Bears.

That'd be 59 cent.

Oh, Shawn dear, couldn't I pay you Friday when I get my check?

You do have a layaway plan, don't you?

Oh, we have a wonderful layaway plan.

See, what I'mma do is, lay these babies right back in here..

...until you come back here Friday with your check.

[Marlon gasping]

Yo, check her out, Monique. Yeah.

You know, that's either a vampire

or Chinese Patti LaBelle.

Do you know who that is?

I don't know what that is.

(Monique) 'That's Angelique.'

The queen of the New York art scene.

Oh, pinch me.

I can die now.

What was that scary creature? Wasn't she in "Beetlejuice?"

Go ahead, pea-brains, laugh it up.

But it's arts and culture that make New York City famous.

Really? I thought it was our big sewer rats.

Look, there she is in "Art World" magazine

standing next to a painting she auctioned

for five million dollars.

(both) Five million dollars?

This-this just looks like a-a-a splash of blue paint.

Yeah, looks like Papa Smurf threw up on a tablecloth.

Why can't I find a sucker like that?

Oh, Reggie, you have to be an artiste.

I am anartiste.

A conartiste.

I do what I do, soup cans.

I do bus transfers. Anybody goin' uptown?

(Shawn) 'Nah. We cool, relax.'

What are you guys looking at?

Oh, we're looking at this painting.

Uh, they call this one "A Study In Brown."

- It sold for over $1,000,000. - Wow.

And they say it's a clash between

neoclassicalism and surrealism.

Hm, those are some new words.

Yeah.

Lou.

Do you have any idea why she's here?

Any idea?

I know everything that

goes on in this building.

The freight elevator's out, the janitor's

cheating on his wife and you're gonna fired

from the card shop if you don't quit taking two-hour lunches.

Now, what about Angelique?

She's selling some paintings

to old man Niedermeyer.

Really? I-I hope he buys one of those black velvet paintings

with the butt-naked sister on it, with a big ass Afro.

You there. Stop. Ha.

Oh, the color

the form, the composition.

It is a masterpiece.

She thinks it's art.

Tell me, do you ever experiment with impressionism?

Oh, you see, I do a hell of a Sammy Davis Jr.

Call me Mr. Bojangles.

You know, cat, I got my eye on you.

And I do mean the good one.

[Angelique laughs]

- And so clever too. - Thank you.

Oh, well.

You have captured the despair and the degradation

oh, in the tragic emptiness of our existence.

- Hm? - Yeah.

[clears throat] That's exactly what he was going for.

Please, say you don't have management.

Well, actually he does, um..

I'm Shawn Williams. Manager extraordinaire.

Oh, well, really?

Well, how do you define his voice as an artist?

Well, I kinda like to think of it as sort of a..

...clash between neoclassicalism and surrealism.

Hmm.

But what about the influences

of impressionism and multiculturalism?

Yeah, what about all that?

Well, see, uh..

...maybe to the untrained eye, see, that might be what you see.

But I still see that the simple clash between

neoclassicalism and surrealism.

Obviously, you were inspired by cubism?

Oh, you know, I love me some Ice Cube.

Ta-da. Ta-da.

Ta-da. Ta-da.

[Angelique laughs]

- You're so amusing. - Thank you.

They're showing a retrospective of cubism at The Met.

Have you seen it, Shawn?

Uh, well, see, this whole museum thing

is-is-is, if you ask me

it comes once again back full circle..

...to the simple clash between neoclassicalism..

...and surrealism.

Angie darling.

I'm Monique Lattimore.

And?

Well, we have so much in common.

See, I'm currently dealing

in a very unique gallery.

Well, we handle smaller pieces, with a message.

Yeah, like "Happy birthday", "Get well soon."

"Congratulations, it's a boy."

Let's do lunch.

Well..

...I'm late for an auction.

I'll give you $500 for that painting.

Um, I would have to talk that over with my client.

Give me a second, please.

[indistinct muttering]

Uh..

My client would like a $1000.

Done.

[Marlon and Shawn cheering]

Venus, write them a check.

Tell me, what you call your piece?

Mr. Happy.

I mean your painting.

Oh.

[chuckles] My bad.

Uh, I don't know.

It is what it is.

Oh! Exactly.

I wanna see more of your work right away.

Oh! "It is what it is."

How positively gump-like.

Pay them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yo, kid, I can't believe we pulled that off.

Shawn, a $1000.

Then funny thing is for a $1000..

...I would have painted her whole apartment building.

Damn, I'm good.

Yes, Marl. I can't believe how easy this is.

Easy for you. I am the one doing all the fancy footwork.

Oh, yeah, well, just keep right on the stepping

'cause Angelique's on her way over here

and she wants to see our new artwork.

Oh, man. Come on, man.

Uh, creating art is exhausting. I need a break.

Come on, man, creating art?

All you're doing is stomping your foot on a canvas.

Anybody can do that.

No, Shawn, don't, don't, don't.

Damn, man. See, now you ruined it.

Gotta do the whole thing over.

Yo, man, you are trippin'. What's the matter with you?

- Like that matters. - Shawn, it does matter.

I put my heart and soul into these paintings.

For example, look at this one right here.

I call this one, "The Dark Side Of The Moon."

I'm not even gonna ask you what that is.

See, Shawn, what you don't understand..

...is I'm really becoming an artist.

Hello?

You're talking to me here, remember? This is a scam.

Take the money and run.

We-well, Shawn, maybe it's not a scam, alright.

Ma-maybe I'm actually good at this.

Shawn, see, what I'm trying to do is-is release my most

sacred inner feelings that have never been exposed.

This is, this is spiritual, kid.

Marlon, this is a painting of your ass.

Trust me, your feeling's already exposed.

I'll still say I could be somebody, alright?

[knock on door]

Bonsoir, ma petite chou.

(both) Muah, muah.

[speaking in French]

Oh...oh, these paintings.

They're brilliant. They're absolutely magnificent.

- Thank you. - Oh, you must be drained.

Drained beyond comprehension.

Oh, poor baby.

I wanted to take you to a night on the town.

To celebrate.

Let me get my..

So what are we celebrating?

Well...I've arranged an auction of your work

in the Niedermeyer Building.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, there ain't gonna be no auction

if you don't finish these paintings.

Oh, there's plenty of time.

Our artist needs the throbbing pulse of New York

to stimulate his passion and get his juices flowing.

Girl, you keep talking like that

my juices are gonna be flowing

all over the place.

Hey, look, Marl, as your manager

I demand you get back to work.

Oh, pish tosh.

A good manager knows when to let go.

- Mm-hmm. - Let go, Shane.

It's Shawn and you need

to let go of your hairdresser.

- Clever. - I know.

- Ready, Marlon? - Yes.

Let's go spin some of your Monet.

Did you get it? That's a art joke. Monet.

[Angelique laughs]

Monet, ha ha. That killed me.

Monet. Pish tosh.

[laughing]

I have never shared a booth with an artistic genius before.

Ooh.

When did you first discover you're an artist?

I don't know, I was like six years old

and I wanted to paint my babysitter in the nude..

...but she keep making me put my clothes back on.

Hey, Marlon, could you do me a favor

and watch the newsstand while I take my lunch?

Shawn..

I don't do newsstands anymore. Alright?

That's so beneath him.

He can't risk getting those

magnificent hands paper cut.

Look, Shawn, come here.

See, what you don't understand, my friend

is I'm the artist... you're the manager.

You work for me, okay?

Now, I'm Gladys Knight and you're the Pip.

Really, Gladys? Well, you're about to get pip-slapped.

Okay, okay. Ladies, we must confer. Ah!

Get off from me, man.

Yo, what's the matter with you, man?

You're starting to believe your own hype.

Please, Shawn, I'm sensitive, alright. I'm a artist.

If you was a real manager, you'd know that.

Yeah, idiot? Well, I'm not a real manager.

And you're not a real artist.

I am too.

You're just jealous 'cause

you're not the big shot anymore.

-Moi? - Jealous.

Come on, man. Don't make me laugh. Too late.

[Shawn laughs]

Woo-hoo! Well, the joke is on you, alright.

'Cause now I'm a somebody, and you ain't.

- A somebody? - A somebody.

Marlon, you don't know the first thing about art.

You ain't nothin' but a fraud.

You're about as real as

Michael Jackson's marriage.

You know what? Y-you may think that, alright?

But I know what you are.

Oh, yeah. And what is that?

You're fired.

You're fired as my manager, and you're fired as my brother.

And Michael's marriage is real!

It's amazing how his shapes and colors can convey such..

...emotional power.

Something about this painting really speaks to me.

Yeah, it's sayin' you're an idiot.

This is delicious. Mmm.

What is it? Proscuitto?

- That? - Mm-hmm.

My favorite, pickled pig feet.

- Hey, Lou. - 'Friends?'

Marlon is much more than a friend.

He is...a national treasure.

So that's why we are taking

extra security precautions, so..

...if you wouldn't mind just turning around for a minute.

Thank you.

Hey, Reggie. What's up?

Uh, hey. You're gonna love this, Shawn.

It was Marlon's idea.

When the auction starts, I'm gonna bid against

these big shots and drive the prices up.

Yeah. And what's in it for you?

Marlon promised me... 40 acres and a goat.

Attention everyone.

I, now, would like to introduce you

to the wonder child of the New York art world.

The incomparable Marlon Williams.

Bravo!

(Angelique) 'Bravissimo.'

(male #1) 'Bravo.'

[guests applaud]

(Pops) 'Mighty fine, mighty fine.'

Bravo.

Thank you, everybody, and welcome to my world of art.

I would like to start by thanking someone very true

and dear to me. My manager and best friend.

Angelique.

[applause]

Mmm, muah.

[Angelique laughs]

Please, ladies and gentlemen, take your seats.

You better be careful, Marlon.

Remember, the emperor has no clothes.

Yeah, well, it makes it that much easier for you

to kiss the emperor's butt.

Oh, okay. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

[indistinct mumbling]

You are all in for a special treat.

We are about to witness a true genius create..

...another masterpiece.

[audience gasps]

[audience gasps]

[Marlon inhales sharply]

[singing in foreign language]

[moaning]

Oh!

Oh!

Perfect.

[applause]

Mighty fine, mighty fine, mighty fine.

- Bravo! - Bravo!

Ladies and gentlemen..

You'll now have the opportunity

to own this masterpiece.

I'll start the bidding at $1000.

Do I hear 1000?

One thousand dollars.

Oh.

Two thousand dollars.

'Oh, oh-ho.'

Three thousand dollars.

[audience cheering]

Three thousand dollars. That's my boy.

I bought him his first coloring book.

Pop, ssh.

We now have $3000. Do I hear four?

Four thousand dollars.

- 'Oh!' - Excellent.

Five thousand dollars.

(Angelique) 'Bravo.'

Ten. Ten thousand dollars.

[Reggie laughing]

Do I hear 11,000?

Ten thousand one?

Going once. Twice.

Sold for $10,000

to the shady Rastafarian.

Get in here and don't make a move.

Eh. That's my sign.

I caught this kid red-handed spray painting it with graffiti.

Keep an eye on him while I call the cops.

This is absolutely brilliant.

[audience moans]

This is the true voice of the streets.

Huh, it makes everything else..

...look positively retro.

Little boy.

I'll give you $500 for this sign.

For real? Alright.

Never mind her, I bid a 1000.

Uh, 2000.

Ey, ey, ey. Whoa, eh, chill, chill, chill.

What about me? I'm the artist here. I'm the genius.

Oh, don't speak. Do you have any other work like this?

Sure, I just got finished spraying

the subway station over on 42nd Street.

- Come on. - 'Hey, come back here.'

Don't just stand there like a herd of sheep?

Follow me!

Hey, wait a minute, woman, that's not fair.

Eh, eh, eh.

Hey, y'all, you know what?

Marlon Williams is havin' a sale! Two for one.

You buy two paintings, you get one free.

And with any purchase

you get a free jar of pickled pig's feet..

...and some cheap wine.

(Shawn) 'I don't know, Pops.'

No. Have you?

No, I ain't seen him.

Oh, hold on. He just walked in. Alright, I'll call you back.

Don't worry, I just came by to pick up my stuff and uh..

...tell you I'll be living in the dumpster around the corner.

And to tell you I'm sorry.

Don't you come crawlin' back up in here.

Alright.

Keep your head up.

We family, I love you no matter how much you mess up.

Thanks, kid.

I just wanted to be a somebody, man, that's all.

You are somebody, man.

You're my baby brother, and my best friend.

Thanks, Shawn.

Even after all I've done, kid?

I love you unconditionally. We belong together, baby.

Even if I don't have my half of the rent?

Come on, Shawn.

Hey, what happened to unconditional, man?

Hey, Shawn. Come on, man.

I draw you a paintin'. See.

You can have the dark side of the moon.

(Marlon) 'You know what, Shawn?'

Even though I'm not a genius

I still dig paintin' a lot.

Yeah.

It's pretty nice of Angelique to

give us these free art classes.

Mm-hmm, but you know, when she told me

we was gonna have a nude model, I didn't have this in mind.

Me neither.

How long do I have to hold this pose?

I got a pie in the oven.

Somebody close that door, it's drafty in here.

My toes are getting cold. You got any hot tea?

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese."