Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[blowing a raspberry]

[sighs]

Ah!

Yo, wassup, Marlon?

You finished blowin' up all the balloons for the party yet?

No, I can't blow 'em no more, Shawn.

I'm telling you, my head's gonna explode.

No, it won't, man, just one more.

The last one. One more.

- Alright. - You can do it.

[sighs]

'There you go, come on.'

'Come on.'

'Yeah, that's it.'

Come on. Come on.

Yeah, come on, you can do it, blow.

[explosion]

Okay, so I was wrong.

[theme music]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high-five ♪♪

(male 1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite, that..'

♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪♪

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, kids, isn't this fun?

(all children) Yeah!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Hey, let go of me!

I'm not your father.

Hey, pop, I wanna thank you, brother

for never making me have a birthday party like this.

Thank you, very much.

You know, our family never had to hire entertainment.

We gave your Uncle Leon a bottle of thattequila

and your mama's old wedding gown.

Whoo! Now that was a party.

[laughing]

Marlon, hurry up with the cake.

Okay, pop.

Hey, kids, it's cake time!

(all children) Yeah!

♪ It's Sammy's birthday today ♪

♪ It's Sammy's birthday today ♪

♪ It's a very special day ♪

♪ You're one year older ♪

♪ Than you were yesterday ♪♪

[bawling]

Ah, shut up. Nobody likes a cry-baby.

Hey, pop, what's going on?

Oh, I don't know, kids, cake

balloon, green dinosaur.

What do you think it is?

Michael Jackson's bachelor party?

No, I'm tryin' to save a slow Saturday, son.

And they say I have a pathetic job.

You do have a pathetic job. You're a busboy, remember?

- Oh, yeah. - 'Hey.'

Look on the bright side.

At least you don't look like Dino in rehab.

[laughing]

I bet he'd be getting..

...Flint...stone.

- [indistinct] big rock. - Big...rock.

How do you think he goes to the bathroom in that suit?

I don't know, he probably wears diapers.

[laughing]

You guys making fun of me?

That...depends.

Ha! That, depends.

That depends.

Alright, listen, dish scraper.

In the last hour I made a 100 bucks.

What'd you make, 3.50?

Will you shut up?

He thinks minimum wage is a dollar seventy five.

You make a $100 an hour doing that?

That's right. 'Cause I'm worth it.

I sing the song, I do the dance.

I pull quarters out of little kids' snotty noses.

I'm a freak one-man carnival.

[laughing]

- Ew! - Oh, man!

- Whoo! - I need a smoke.

You need a mint!

A dinosaur with a dragon, ain't that somethin'?

[both laughing]

[clattering]

[all laughing]

That's my boy. That's my boy over there.

[all children laughing]

Settle down, now, now. Settle down.

Kids, leave the silly little man alone.

Um...excuse me.

Where'd you get this guy from?

The guy who fell down? I think he works here.

Oh, no, not that idiot.

I'm talking about the green idiot.

- Oh, Brazilla? - Yeah.

Well, I got his name from a party company.

You wouldn't happen to have their business card, would you?

Well, yeah, sure.

But I don't know why you'd want it.

I mean, the kids like that guy over there

a lot more than Brazilla.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Yo, Marlon. Marlon, guess what?

I went down to that party company that represents Brazilla

and I got us an audition.

What'd you go and do that for?

I thought you said doing kiddie parties was degrading.

Hey, when they payin' you a whole lot of money

ain't nothin' degrading, just ask M.C. Hammer.

Oh!

[Marlon chuckles]

- I don't know, Shawn, I.. - Come on, man.

I'm telling you, this could blow up, baby.

I'm telling you, this is our ticket out.

All we need to do is create a cartoon character.

Now, what did you like when you were a kid?

I used to like putting ma's drawers on my head.

[laughing]

And then jumping off the bed and it turned to a parachute.

Never mind, never mind you.

What would a normal kid like?

I don't know, Mickey Mouse, Mighty Mouse

Fievel's, Speedy Gonzales--

- That's it. That's it. - What?

Kids love mice.

And if you think about it..

...Mexican kids, they got Speedy Gonzales.

Andale, andale. Arriba, arriba.

Jewish kids, they got Fievel.

Oy, vey! Oy, vey.

Who we got? Nobody.

Think about it brother.

Name one black mouse.

Spike Lee.

He ain't no mouse, he's a cricket.

Oh, yeah. Oh, man!

See, we don't have nobody.

You know what, Shawn? You're right.

Our young black kids need a mouse-hero or two.

Hey, what happened to Rufus

that little rat that used to live

behind the refrigerator?

He had his own show?

No, he was your pet rat.

Oh, pop, gassed him.

Poor little Rufus.

He must have twitched for hours.

My little Rufus was such a little fighter, he was.

I'm telling you, Marlon. Rufus is perfect.

This is our chance to create a cartoon hero

for black kids.

You know what, Shawn? You're right.

And I'll make a great Rufus.

I know exactly how to get into his head.

I'll go in the fridge and I eat up

all that old government cheese

we got in there.

I'll lie on my bed with all these old newspapers

and then I'll carry the plague from village to village.

God, this is gonna be great.

I hate to disappoint you, but, uh..

...I'm gonna be Rufus.

How come you get to be Rufus?

You know I look a lot more like a rat

than you do, see?

That's true, but I came up with the idea.

So what am I gonna be?

Oh, don't worry about it. Let's think.

Now, what else was behind that refrigerator?

Hmm. Dust, roaches.

And that seven-year-old onion that nobody could reach.

That's it. That's it.

I ain't gonna be no mouldy old onion.

Marlon, I would never make you an old onion.

That's degraded.

- Oh! - You're gonna be the roach.

- A roach? - Yeah, man.

Kids love bugs!

I ain't gonna be no damn roach. What's wrong with you?

Sure you are, Marlon. I'm telling you.

We'll be Rodney Roach and Rufus the Rat.

We'll be like Batman and Robin, only vermin.

- You're sure about this? - I'm positive, Marlon.

We'll create a black cartoon hero for the brothers.

Yeah, and this way I still get to keep my dignity.

I feel like an idiot.

Rodney Roach.

Can't even sit down with this dumb metal suit on.

I didn't hear you complaining on the subway

when that guy tried to stab you.

I don't know about this, Shawn. I got a bad feeling.

Are you sure this ain't one of those

stupid get-rich-quick schemes?

Look, Marlon, there's a big difference

between this stupid scheme

and all the other stupid schemes.

Yeah, what?

That all the other stupid schemes

were your ideas.

Paula, make sure you call me

and tell me when the Mitsumoto party is.

Aah! Man!

Never going to another kids' party hung-over. Heh.

You won't believe how sick I got.

Just not getting the smell out of this helmet.

- Hi, crabby. - Hi, crabby.

Hey, it's the losers from the diner.

What are you doing, stalking me?

Like we don't have better people to stalk.

For your information, we're here for an audition.

Hey, this is my turf. Stay out of my hood.

I rule the kiddy world! The kids love me!

They love me, I tell ya!

[laughing]

What the hell are you looking at?

I don't know if this is such a good idea, Shawn.

We could wind up like that guy.

That ain't so bad. He drives a Porsche.

Marlon, here comes Paula. Get up.

Now, don't do anything stupid to mess this up, alright?

Hi, you must be Shawn and Marlon.

- How you doin'? - Those are great costumes!

- What an adorable roach! - Well, thank you very much.

You should see when my antenna goes up.

Hey, how's the party business going, son?

Fantastic, pop.

Three short weeks, and the paper is rollin' in.

And the kids can't get enough of Marlon fallin' on his butt.

Well, who can?

See, I told your mama when you were four years old

that you'll be better off without those leg braces.

I'll be in a wheelchair

the way these kids keep beatin' on me.

- Damn, I'm sore. - Ah, it ain't that bad.

Speak for yourself, you get to wear that gold jacket

and eat cheese and look cool

while the kids jolly-stop me.

Pick up.

Here's your free food.

Thank you, father. Good day, sir.

Peace out.

Marlon, what's wrong with you?

I haven't seen you this mad since I gassed

that little rat friend of yours.

He wasn't just a rat, pop.

He was my friend. I loved him.

♪ Rufus the two of us ♪

♪ Need to look no more ♪

♪ We both found ♪

♪ What we were ♪

♪ Looking for ♪

♪ Rufus ♪♪

Marlon! Marlon! Marlon!

He had rabies!

You mother had to take 30 shots in her stomach

because of that little stinky little rat of yours.

Now you tell me what's wrong with you.

Well, pop, I don't like doing these kiddie shows, man.

I don't care how much money they pay me

I just feel stupid, dressing up like some roach.

Besides, I don't have time for my women.

Marlon, Marlon, Marlon.

I hate to state the obvious.

- But you don't have a woman. - Well, see what I mean.

How am I supposed to get one if I gotta dress up

like a roach every weekend?

Besides, pop, people keep making fun of me.

Order up, bug boy.

[laughing]

See what I mean, pop?

What should I do, man?

Does your brother know about this?

No, I can't tell him.

I mean, look at him. He's all happy.

Besides, it's his idea, he came up with the act.

He got us the agent and he's giving me 20%.

I can't just spit in his face.

Sure, you can!

Either you tell him how you feel

or you're gonna spend the rest of your days

a humanpinata.

Okay. Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure.

Yo, check out this brochure.

I'm thinking of upgrading to a brand new Ferrari.

We're gonna have to do thousands of shows if you want a Ferrari.

That's okay, I'll get you a helmet and some more pants.

We'll be good to go, man.

Marlon, Shawn, I got some wonderful news.

You'll go out with me.

I don't think so.

- Is it the bug suit? - Sure.

- I knew, I knew. - Anyway.

I've got a great job for you guys

at the Mitsumoto Corporation.

They having a party for the children of their executives

and they want you.

Wait a minute. Isn't Brazilla working that job?

No, not now that he's in rehab.

So now the Mitsumoto job is yours!

- Yeah, congratulations, man. - Yes!

Hey, but, Paula, before we take the job

I-I gotta talk to my brother about something, okay?

Sure.

Go ahead. Tell him, Marlon.

- I'll back you up. - Okay.

And the best part is..

...the Mitsumoto job pays a thousand dollars.

- A thousand dollars? - A thousand dollars?

- A thousand dollars. - A thousand dollars?

(Paula) 'Mm-hmm.'

Marlon.

Who would've ever thought somebody'd spend

a thousand dollars to look at you?

Man, Marlon, you know what this means?

If this keeps up, I can quit my job at APS

and I'll never have to deliver another package

as long as I live.

Hey, pop, I thought you said you was gonna back me up.

With a thousand dollars?

The only thing I'm backing up is that delivery truck

bringing me my new big-screen TV

with re-e-emote control.

And maybe I'll get 80 inches. We're gonna be rich.

- Let's count that money. - We're gonna be in the money.

- Just help me count. - The paper..

Oh! We're gonna have the money!

♪ Get it while the gettin' is good ♪

♪ You gotta get it while the gettin' is good ♪

♪ You gotta get it while the gettin' is good ♪♪

- 'Count the money.' - 'Gotta one, two.'

- 'Three, four.' - 'Four.'

Marlon, this is great, man. We're living large, kid.

Not even a month and we're already hitting

corporate America.

Man, I can't wait till 10 a.m. tomorrow morning.

Why?

'Cause that's when I'm gonna quit my job.

- You're gonna quit your job? - Yeah!

Look, Shawn, I was going to wait until tomorrow

to tell you this, but..

But what?

That this is my last appearance as Rodney Roach.

Marlon, you can't quit now, man!

We're booked for weeks! What are you talking about?

I'm talking about dressing up like a roach.

Shawn, I have some little kids stomping on me!

I mean, don't you feel like a idiot?

Why should I?

Look, Marlon, you are good at this, man!

I-I just don't wanna feel like a idiot, man.

I mean, you're my brother, you should understand, right?

I understand. I gotta choke you.

[indistinct arguing]

'You're gonna be a roach or you're gonna be water bug'

'or you're gonna be a ladybug.'

Or something, but we gonna get paid.

The party's going wonderfully, Mr. Mitsumoto.

And the entertainment will be out any minute.

Good! Let's move it.

I want these brats out of here and the floor washed.

And, Hito, if any of these kids touch my model village

there will be no cake.

Oh, yes. I'm right on it, Mr. Mitsumoto.

Boys and girls. Boys and girls, sit down.

Pay attention.

We have some very special celebrities here today.

The Power Rangers?

(children in unison) Yeah!

No! No, no, no.

No, Power Rangers, they said they couldn't come

because you parents haven't worked hard enough.

Uh-huh, right.

So instead, we have something almost as good.

Rodney Roach and Rufus the Rat.

[clapping]

Let's hear it for them.

[children applauding]

- There. - I will kill you, boy!

I will..

Do you hear me? Do you..

[Marlon coughing]

- Oh! Hello, boys and girls! - Hi, kids. Hi.

We're on, Marlon, come on.

- Alright. This is my last time. - Okay, alright.

Hey, boys and girls.

[crying]

What are you supposed to be?

Those costumes suck!

Yeah? Wait until you see the rest of the show.

Hey, Rufus.

♪ Do-do do-doop doop doop do ♪

♪ If you ever get pulled over ♪

♪ Just remember this one thing ♪

♪ Don't talk back to the boys in blue ♪

♪ Or they'll beat you like Rodney King ♪

♪ Beat you like Rodney King ♪♪

- Are you on drugs? - Are you on drugs?

No, boys and girls.

Do you have any special powers?

None that I can show you!

You stink!

- Hey! - Hey!

Who started that? Have his father fired in disgrace!

But that's my son.

I can't see the top of your head when you say that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, get out. You make me sick!

Yes, Mr. Mitsumoto.

Hey!

Shawn, well, how come these kids don't like us?

I don't know. The kids in the projects loved us.

Only projects these kids know are science projects.

- 'Hey.' - 'Come on, boys and girls!'

We just came here to have a little bit of fun.

Then do something funny!

You're a poopy head.

- No, you a damn poopy head. - Hey, hey, Marlon.

Don't stoop down to their level.

You're a poopy head too.

I know, you are, but what am I?

- 'Poopy head--' - I know you are but what am I--

(Marlon) Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh..

- Eh, eh, eh, calm down. - He started it.

Calm down. Allow me.

You ever been spanked by six hands? Come here, you little..

[all laughing]

That was funny.

(children in unison) Yeah.

They're good! But they're no Margaret Cho.

[growling]

Brazilla?

What's going on here?

Oh! Look, it's Brazilla!

Hey, look here, brother.

There must be some kind of mix-up with something--

This is my gig, and you guys aren't taking it from me.

- Hey-- - Aah!

[all children laughing]

[growling]

Brazilla's heading for the village!

[screaming]

- Hey, man, what are you doing? - Reclaiming what's mine.

Bug boy.

You know, I'm sick and tired of people calling me bug boy.

[screaming]

Hey, nobody does that to my brother.

[children laughing]

- They're out of control! - They're out of control!

[both screaming]

This will surely result in mass destruction!

[both screaming]

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

[both screaming]

[screaming continues]

There's no stopping them!

We must not panic!

[all screaming]

Children..

The children. Run please. Run for your lives.

[grunting]

[screaming continues]

[grunting]

[screaming continues]

[music continues]

[grunting]

[coughing]

[burping]

Did you hit him?

No, he just passed out.

- The city is safe. - The city is safe.

- We must go tell the others. - We must go tell the others.

- Yeah. hey! - Yeah!

[instrumental music]

Yo, man, I can't believe Paula dropped us

and all that money we made went to repairs.

I can't believe I ruined a party and destroyed the village.

Hey, don't worry about it. Brazilla got dropped too.

Yeah. I wonder what he's going to do now.

I don't know, but I heard he was

going back into priesthood.

They better hide the wine, brother.

Yo, kid, I'm sorry for puttin' you through all this.

It's alright man.

It's kinda hard telling your older brother no.

I know, just ask Erik Menendez.

- That was funny. - 'I know.'

I'm just glad it's all over now.

- It ain't over yet. - 'What do you mean?'

I'm thinking of becoming an agent just like Paula.

And I already got my first act.

Word?

My eyes, my eyes! My eyes.

Help me, somebody, please. Help me, help me, please.

Help me, please. Help me.

Help me, please. Help me.

Help me.. Help me, help me, please.

Sorry, Pops, I didn't know it was you!

You look just like the big one

that always crawls under the stove.

Benny.. I don't know what you're talking about.

Help me, somebody. Please, help me.

Shawn, Marlon, where are you? Help me.

Help me, please. Help me. Hey.

[speaking in foreign language]

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say cheese!