Original subtitles

(Kirby's) As an animator,

I've been inspired by a lot of people and things.

Ketchup and cantaloupe?

That's all we've got here?

This is no way to live!

(screams)

(Kirby) And I hope that one day,

I can inspire kids the way my heroes inspired me.

Because if I don't, they're gonna have to be inspired by this.

(growling)

(fart noises)

(both) We're the best animators...

-alive! -ever!

(blows raspberry)

(Kirby) And I'm inspired to make sure that doesn't happen.

(theme music playing)

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

I can't believe the Babcock twins have their own fan club.

-(fart noises) -(laughing)

Seriously? Twinsies?

Are people really that desperate for entertainment?

(fart noises)

Really? You too, Eli?

I enjoy it.

But not as much as your stuff.

Hey, Buckets!

You see our latest Heartbreaker and Fartbreaker masterpiece?

No, 'cause I got better things to do.

Like not making super funny hit videos?

(laughs) 'Cause you definitely did that.

We didn't.

Or you... you didn't.

Oh, please. I can make a better cartoon than that in my sleep.

In fact, I'm coming out with a new awesome web show that's gonna blow your minds.

Not like that's hard to do.

How about a little competition, then?

Your lousy new show

versus Heartbreaker and Fartbreaker.

Whoever gets more hits by the end of the week,

wins.

Fine, but if I win,

you guys have to stop making Heartbreaker and Fartbreaker forever.

And if we win, that sweet taco guy you draw

gets to be the newest member of the Heartbreaker and Fartbreaker family.

And you don't get to draw him anymore.

(sighs) Fine.

Looks like we've got a hit-off!

Boom!

Hit numero uno for the Babcocks!

(blows raspberry)

You guys are going down.

Ha-ha!

You don't have an awesome new web show, do you?

Nope.

You're gonna come up with one. In the meantime...

(fart noises)

Eli and I are gonna help by building your fan base.

Right, Eli?

-(fart noises) -Ha!

Sorry.

I'm a moth to a flame.

(Belinda) Dawn.

D... Dawn!

Dawn, Dawn!

Belinda, there you are!

How's your leg?

It isn't too late to get that clown car in literally any other color.

What? It matches my cast.

Oh, I see.

Satellites can see.

Would you mind slowing down?

You're the one who made me kick that mannequin wearing the same top as you.

Hey, you seemed pretty fired up to do it.

I think your last words were,

"I'm gonna kick you back to mannequin land!"

Are you seriously too embarrassed to walk with me?

What? No, no!

Never. Uh...

I just have to be...

anywhere else.

Uh... feel better. I love you. Mean it.

The walker ditched you, huh?

Hmm. Well, you're not alone.

Come find us when you're ready to leave it all on the linoleum.

And bring that sweet ride.

(beeping)

(tires screeching)

(upbeat music playing)

Thanks for joining the Buckets Brigade. Best web show ever, coming soon.

I hope.

Hey, what do you say we convert a couple Twinsies?

Shouldn't be too hard considering the junk they're used to watching.

Hey, guys. So, uh...

I was thinking maybe you are interested in a funnier, smarter, cooler...

(fart noises)

(laughing)

Well, that's just uncalled for!

I thought Fartbreaker was above that.

It's not funny.

It's not funny!

Don't you get it? Farts are not funny!

(gasps)

Okay. Awesome web series idea, you got this.

Argh!

What's this I hear about the hottest ticket in town?

(Kirby) "One Man Dad"?

You like it? I decided to take it up a notch

'cause I've been doing so well in my improv class.

I've been described

as unteachable.

And I'll need someone equally talented to shoot my rehearsal.

So... can you help me out?

Yeah, sorry, Dad. I kind of have a lot going on.

How dare you!

You sorry excuse for a son.

I gave up my dreams for you, you little ingrate!

And scene.

That was the angry chef,

one of the many amazing characters I'll be featuring in the show.

So, what do you say?

Can you help me out, partner?

(scoffs)

So after the second intermission,

I open with DJ Beats by Dad.

Go into 1930s radio man.

Then close the set with Tom Franks,

the hot dog Tom Hanks.

"Houston, we have a hot dog."

You're right! We go radio man, then Tom Franks,

then DJ Beats by Dad. Perfect!

You're just sitting there?

You gotta come up with a hit web show, or I'm fart bait, brother.

(groans)

You want me to finish him off?

So... just checking if you wanted to talk about what happened yesterday.

Because it seemed like you might have had a bit of an emotional reaction

to Heartbreaker and Fart...

I'm totally fine.

Just drop it.

Hey, guys. Check this out!

I call it Dad Smack.

I'm taking you down, Dad.

-Boom, shaka-papa! -(clatters)

(laughing)

See? Now that's funny.

No need to resort to crass, dangerous bodily functions, am I right?

So...

when are you gonna put it up online?

Well, I don't know if I should.

I kind of feel like it's making fun of my dad.

Well, look who it is.

Notice you haven't posted anything, Buckets.

Aw, don't worry. We're gonna take good care of your lousy taco man.

(laughing)

(grunting)

Help! Get me out of here!

-(farting) -This pocket smells like burrito butt.

Yeah, sorry, Dad.

You're going online.

(sighs)

The Babcock twins are still in the lead.

Who'd have thought it'd be hard to take down Heartbreaker...

Do not say that word.

Which word? Heartbreaker or Fart...

Did you really just slap me for saying Fart...

No. See, I slapped you first

to warn you that Fish would slap you.

Okay.

I have some videos to make.

You two clearly have your own things you need to work out.

Fish!

You need to tell me what's going on.

Fish, it's me!

Eli "Night Train" Porter.

Nobody calls you that, but whatever.

I had forgotten all about it.

But sitting through the Heartbreaker and Fa...

the Babcock's cartoons,

and listening to all those Twinsies,

it all came flooding back.

(Fish) When I was seven years old,

I had a pet guinea pig, Mr. Mac 'n Cheese.

He was my best friend until...

It was Taco Tuesday.

And I was too close to him when I fa--

(farts)

Reverse burped.

The next time I saw him,

he was on his back, belly up.

I killed him, Eli.

I killed Mr. Mac 'n Cheese!

(sobbing)

Not to belittle what you're going through,

but that's impossible.

I am a monster!

(sobs)

Ugh!

So I'm in the slingshot, but I can't slushie-slush

'cause I'm running low on the go-juice.

So you got a fluff and fold.

Exactly. Double throwdown.

So I daylight the guy, and bam!

It's popcorn time.

I don't know what these wheel heads are doing to you,

but I can tell you're scared.

Are they hurting you?

You know, besides what they did to your hair?

Sorry, Dawn.

I have new friends now.

Friends who aren't embarrassed of me.

We're the Cast Aways, and we're about two things:

after hours, underground, hallway racing...

and family.

Later, Dawn.

My new family and I

got a race to blaze.

(engines revving)

I'm not gonna be able to rehearse until I'm done with chores.

I don't know why you'd want to film me.

Hey, you never know when inspiration is gonna strike, right?

So I wanna be here with the camera when it does.

Oh, I just came up with an idea for a new character.

(British accent) Say 'ello to Larry the light bulb changer.

Bob's your uncle. I'll be done in a jiff.

(crashes)

Ooh.

(Kirby chuckles)

Chorizo head scissor!

(laughs)

Dad smack!

Oh, yeah!

Wanna see something really cool?

(piano music playing)

(laughs)

My diagnosis,

stay off your feet.

Good call on the rollerblades, Kirb.

I wanna work these bad boys into the show.

Think I have time to learn?

(laughs evilly)

Psych!

This dad is down.

(sighs)

I've been having a blast hanging out with you, Kirb.

The pressure's on now, though.

The theater says there's some unexplained spike in ticket sales.

I guess the whole town wants to see your one-man dad.

People just want to see him get knocked down by a taco.

Like this. (grunts)

Ah!

And like this!

Ah!

(sighs)

Look, Dad, about the ticket sales, I think I can explain--

Buckets! Your "dad smack" videos may have you in the lead,

but it's not over yet.

Holy smokes! Is that your dad?

It's so great to meet you, sir.

What videos are they talking about?

You're a star, Kirby's dad.

I'm taking you down, Dad!

Boom-shaka-papa!

(laughing)

Dad, I'm sorry!

-I can explain-- -That you made me into a joke?

I just wanted to hang out with you.

You broke my heart, Kirb.

And you broke my fart.

(imitates fart noise)

(laughs)

♪ Oh, Dad ♪

♪ Your name rhymes with sad ♪

♪ Because of your son ♪

Look, Dad, I'm so sorry.

I took down all the videos.

But I never should have posted them in the first place.

I guess I just got caught up in that stupid bet.

But I really did enjoy the time we spent together.

And I'm so proud of you, Dad.

Your passion for the theater, it's inspiring.

Well,

those videos were actually pretty funny, Kirby.

Too bad I wasn't in on the joke.

Instead, I have to hand over Macho Taco to the two biggest hacks in Forest Hills.

You're gonna lose Macho Taco?

I don't know what I'd do if I had to lose one of my characters.

Kirby, you need to win that bet.

What can I do to help?

Well...

I think I have an idea.

What do you want...

Walker?

Okay, this has gone on long enough.

People are starting to think I'm friends with some hallway-racing, gearhead weirdo.

And that's gross.

The Cast Aways accept me,

and you have no idea what it's like to experience the thrill

of after-hours underground hallway-racing.

No, but how about I find out?

I, Dawn Buckets, challenge you

to an after-hours, underground, hallway race.

If I win, you leave the Cast Aways and we go back to being BFFs.

If you win, I'll leave you alone forever.

You're on.

Good luck. You're gonna need it.

It took me days to learn to ride this beast.

Literally, days.

-You just turn the handle and it goes? -Yeah, pretty much.

-(exhales deeply) -You ready for this, One-Man Dad?

So ready, Kirbo.

We're here to heckle you. But not your dad, though.

Because we respect arts and culture.

Kirby doesn't deserve you, Kirby's dad.

But we'd be honored if we could call you Dad.

I don't think that would be appropriate.

Too late, Dad.

(chuckling)

Showtime.

'Sup guys? I'm Dave.

Dav-raham Lincoln.

Four Daves and seven Daves ago,

our fathers brought forth a Dave nation.

Conceived in liberty...

It's a taco take-down.

-(groans) -(audience laughs)

(applause)

Boom-shaka-papa!

(cheering)

So this is what it's like to watch me?

You guys are so lucky!

The live stream's a go.

-You ready for this, Fish? -(stomach growls)

Ugh!

Bones can heal,

but you cannot put a cast on the heart that that walker broke.

If you have any doubts...

Leave it all on the linoleum.

(beeping)

(suspenseful music playing)

(engine revs)

(dramatic music playing)

No ice? No problem!

Hockey Fever doesn't take the summer off.

And neither does this hockey maniac.

Eh?

(German accent) There's only one cure for Hockey Fever.

Put it on ice!

Oh!

(applause)

(suspenseful music playing)

(clanks)

(Dave) Sure, who wouldn't want faster, cheaper Internet?

Sounds delightful.

What's my name?

Johnny Depp.

(crickets chirping)

Boom-shaka-papa!

(cheers and applause)

They're live streaming this!

They should, it's fantastic.

Oh, wait.

That's bad for us.

It's working.

Kirby's about to take the lead!

Live stream? More like dead stream.

-(laughs) -Oh!

'Cause it's dead.

(echoing) Dead, dead, dead.

Just like Mr. Mac 'n Cheese.

(stomach growls)

I can't take it.

The guilt is wrecking my stomach.

Eli, it's gonna happen. You need to get out of here.

Fish, if any of what you told me is true,

you need to use it now.

(stomach growling, gurgling)

(farts loudly)

(coughing, gagging)

I was wrong, Fish.

That would totally kill a guinea pig.

(groans)

Mr. Mac 'n Cheese.

I'm so proud of you.

You used your power for good and helped Kirby.

So now, it's time to move on.

Because I forgive you, Fish.

Bye, sweet Mr. Mac 'n Cheese.

Farewell, Fish.

You did it! The live stream's back.

And so am I, Night Train.

And so am I.

Do we really have to go around the same track

49 more times?

Yeah, I might have made this out to be more fun than it is.

Look, Belinda, I'm sorry I was a jerk. I just...

I thought your scooter looked super embarrassing.

Well, I'm glad you've come around.

No, I still think it's super embarrassing.

I just... I lost sight of what's important.

You kicked a mannequin for me.

And I'd do it again.

Friends?

Friends.

(all) Boo!

That's right!

Belinda doesn't need you anymore.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Ow!

So I guess we're even?

Mm-hmm.

Does anyone have a phone charger? I'm at two percent my wife's gonna call.

This isn't part of the show.

Seriously, just yell out if you have one.

Oh, come on.

It's part of the act.

It's a character, guys. Cool Daniel.

-(cheers) -Yeah!

It's all over, folks.

This dad's in a food coma!

Whoo!

(loud cheers and applause)

That's how you tag team a show, brother.

Look, you were a hit by a mile, Kirb.

No way they can catch up.

So, Trev and I were talking it over,

and, for no particular reason, we'd like to call the bet off.

Sorry, fellas.

It's time to say goodbye to Heartbreaker and Fartbreaker.

Actually, Kirb, you mind letting them keep it?

Now that I've worked through my issues, I actually think it's kind of funny.

Aw, come on, please!

Art is our coping mechanism.

All right, fine. You can keep making your lousy cartoon.

Aw, yes!

In your face, Buckets!

Sucker! We use chocolate as a coping mechanism.

(blows raspberry)

(laughing)

(Dave) That was fun, Kirbo.

Wish we could perform like that all the time.

Too bad it takes years off my life.

I might have a solution for that.

Check out my new character. One-Man Dad.

He might be a tiny bit clumsy,

but he has the chameleon-like power to transform into anyone on the planet.

Aha!

(grunting)

-(screams) -Eh?

Now we can relive the show whenever we want, and not get hurt.

Think this puppy's thawed and ready for the oven.

Gonna go pop it in.

All right.

(Dave) Oh! Ah!

-(crashes) -Oh!

Don't worry, the pizza's okay.

(sings high note)

Hockey suit fever.

Oh, my.

(laughter)

You're just lucky!

(man) Doing good.

(groans)

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

(boy) "X."