Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:02,583
(heroic music)
2
00:00:06,792 --> 00:00:08,632
(alarm buzzing)
3
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:14,291
Hulk: Listen up, team. It's training time.
4
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,127
That means learning to work together.
5
00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:19,998
Yo, Hulkites. You're getting
exclusive access to Hulk practice.
6
00:00:20,083 --> 00:00:22,423
Check out how we make smashing magic.
7
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,710
One side, Jones.
8
00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:25,042
-(thuds)
-(groans)
9
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,535
Hey.
10
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:28,535
-(gasps)
-(thuds)
11
00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:30,633
Red Hulk: Merry Christmas, smashers.
12
00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:32,499
Troops are only as good as their weapons,
13
00:00:32,583 --> 00:00:34,133
so, come and get them.
14
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,538
Here you go, rookie.
15
00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:37,825
The gamma rocket launcher!
16
00:00:38,041 --> 00:00:38,881
Whoa!
17
00:00:38,959 --> 00:00:40,999
Don't say I never did nothing for you.
18
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,833
-Awesome sauce!
-(launcher charging)
19
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,037
(Red Hulk groaning)
20
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:46,330
(groans)
21
00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:49,457
(nervous chuckle)
Uh, sorry. Safety was off.
22
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:50,672
Heya, Skaar.
23
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,290
You like stuff what goes boom, don't you?
24
00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:54,285
Hmm.
25
00:00:54,417 --> 00:00:55,287
(swishes)
26
00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:57,877
Red Hulk: The ka-boomerang!
27
00:00:57,959 --> 00:00:59,169
Hmm.
(sniffing)
28
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,420
-(growling)
-(clangs)
29
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,577
And some fancy hand wear for the lady.
30
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,502
Red Hulk: The gamma gauntlets!
31
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:10,128
-Oh, no. These are for everyday use.
-(crackling)
32
00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:11,788
-(grunts)
-(thuds)
33
00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:15,211
Problem with Greenie leading is,he's too cautious.
34
00:01:15,291 --> 00:01:17,211
You wanna lead, you do it from the front
35
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:20,081
like I'm gonna do when I takecharge of this unit.
36
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,666
Gotta get the troopson my side first, though.
37
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,750
That's why they got the new hardware.
38
00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:26,834
(sighing)
39
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:29,167
I know Red. He's up to no good.
40
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:32,210
Probably trying to take over the teamor some nonsense.
41
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:35,996
-Hulk: Dibs on this!
-Hey, I was gonna use the gamma blaster!
42
00:01:38,417 --> 00:01:40,787
We got our weapons. Let's do this.
43
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:44,415
Give me that remote, Jade Jaws.
This is my territory.
44
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,830
I've trained raw recruits
into special forces elite.
45
00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:51,707
Children, get ready
for the Hulk Smasher 5000.
46
00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,500
(clanking)
47
00:01:55,375 --> 00:01:57,665
All right, A-Bomb, ball up and hit it low.
48
00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:01,130
Skaar, slash it open so She-Hulk
can get to the controls.
49
00:02:01,417 --> 00:02:03,417
-Red, take long-range firepower--
-(yelling)
50
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,000
I'll just show you how it's done.
51
00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:07,293
(laughing)
52
00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:08,785
-Skaar throw.
-(clangs)
53
00:02:09,667 --> 00:02:11,287
Pay attention, Fido.
54
00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:12,745
I'll train you.
(grunts)
55
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,420
(explodes)
56
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:18,666
I'm gonna light this baby up,
A-Bomb style.
57
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:19,790
-Give me that.
-Hey!
58
00:02:19,875 --> 00:02:21,035
Watch and learn, rookie.
59
00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:22,786
-(yelling)
-(gunshots)
60
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,130
-(yells)
-(explodes)
61
00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:32,748
So, how exactly is this teamwork?
62
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,333
-(Red yelling)
-(rapid gunshots)
63
00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:38,999
Red wants to lead a team.
64
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:42,036
He just... doesn't want anyone else on it.
65
00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:45,542
Don't worry.
I'm here to pick up Red's pieces.
66
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,245
(weapon powering-up)
67
00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:50,293
-(whooshing)
-(exploding)
68
00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:52,081
(thuds)
69
00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:54,416
Remind me to slug Red when this is over.
70
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,460
-(grunting)
-(thumping)
71
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,210
(yelling)
72
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:01,037
-(yelling)
-(thumping)
73
00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:04,460
You're not gonna one-up me, Greenie!
74
00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:07,791
(explodes)
75
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,165
-(clanks)
-(alarm buzzes)
76
00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:16,212
What are you, a one-man army?
77
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:18,461
Save some for the rest of us, Green.
78
00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:20,502
Hey, you went all lone wolf.
79
00:03:20,583 --> 00:03:23,293
There's problems out there
bigger than tanks, Red.
80
00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:25,455
Problems you can't handle alone.
81
00:03:25,583 --> 00:03:27,043
Red Hulk: I can handle anything.
82
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,128
(rumbling)
83
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,628
Whoa. Whoa, whoa! Hey now!
84
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,169
-(alarm buzzing)
-Earthquake?
85
00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:36,668
What is it?
86
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:39,499
(rumbling)
87
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:42,423
A planet.
88
00:03:42,709 --> 00:03:44,039
And it's coming this way.
89
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:50,875
(theme music)
90
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,173
Quick, everybody on the elevator.
91
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:00,955
-(rumbling)
-(alarm buzzing)
92
00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:05,674
Is the end near?
93
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:07,544
If you're like me and eyeing the sky,
94
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,785
you're seeing a hunkof extinction-sized rock
95
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,785
racing into our zip code.
96
00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:14,995
The uniforms at S.H.I.E.L.D. are sayingthere's nothing to worry about,
97
00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:17,633
-and this reporter hopes...
-These earthquakes will only get worse
98
00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:19,419
as the planetoid gets closer.
99
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,170
Even if it misses,
it'll still tear earth apart.
100
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:24,003
Planet evil.
101
00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:26,711
So, how do we stop it?
Put up a detour sign?
102
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:28,422
Hulk: We need to get a closer look.
103
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,920
-Everyone into the jump jet.
-No need, Green.
104
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,880
I'll do this myself
and be back by supper time.
105
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:34,959
(growls)
106
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:38,376
(engine bellowing)
107
00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:44,541
(whooshing)
108
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:51,882
All right, I let you take her out,
109
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,500
but you're in my pilot's chair, buddy.
110
00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:56,423
I called shotgun for you, Shulkie.
111
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,670
Sit back, relax, and I'll get us out
to that rock in no time.
112
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,960
Look, I'm as excited to punch
a planet as the next Hulk, but...
113
00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:06,921
But nothing. I've done this
a thousand times, Greenie.
114
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,290
I'm gonna go ahead and doubt
you've ever punched a planet.
115
00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:13,915
Let's see what the professional
planet smasher has in mind.
116
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,540
Seatbacks and tray tables
in the upright position!
117
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:17,575
(Red Hulk laughs)
118
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:23,625
First rule of being in charge,
119
00:05:23,709 --> 00:05:27,129
be better than the Green-grilled noobsyou're bossing around.
120
00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:29,581
Good leader does everybody's job better.
121
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,747
I told Fury we're taking the first shot.
122
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:36,504
I figure if we target the planet's poles
we can knock it off-course.
123
00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:38,543
Off-course?
(scoffs)
124
00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:40,745
I'm blowing that mud-ball to smithereens.
125
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:42,544
-(thumps)
-(laughs)
126
00:05:43,083 --> 00:05:44,293
(whooshes)
127
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:48,080
(exploding)
128
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:50,075
Hulk: Nice going, Red.
129
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:52,666
Maybe you could just yell at it next time.
130
00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:54,000
-Um, guys?
-(sensor beeping)
131
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,750
This is weird.
132
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:58,174
The planet's gravity is doubling.
133
00:05:58,542 --> 00:06:01,252
She-Hulk: And we're being
sucked right into it.
134
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,130
(grunting)
135
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000
Red Hulk: What is that?
136
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,750
Is it just me,
137
00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:10,377
or does that planetkinda look like a dude?
138
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:15,458
Ego: Who dares disturb Ego?
139
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,958
(gasping)
It's... a...
140
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:21,081
living...
141
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:22,286
planet...
142
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,670
who speaks perfect English.
143
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,420
Does anybody else think that's weird?
144
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,880
Insects.
145
00:06:27,959 --> 00:06:31,209
You have incited Ego's wrath.
146
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:35,291
Know you're in trouble when youtick off a planet with a face.
147
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:38,165
(wheezing)
148
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,290
Ugly planet eat us?
149
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:43,077
Kinda looking that way.
150
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:45,460
A-Bomb: Hulk, if you've got a plan,
151
00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:47,002
now's the time to share.
152
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:48,833
Hulk: Your one-man show is over.
153
00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:50,077
Hey!
154
00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:52,168
It's a mutiny, is what it is.
155
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,880
(grunting)
156
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:56,422
Firing all thrusters.
157
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:59,042
(engine roaring)
158
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:09,923
She-Hulk: We're breaking free!
159
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000
A-Bomb: Uh...
160
00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:12,713
we're going the wrong way.
161
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:14,752
Hulk: Gravity's too strong!
162
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,250
(tense music)
163
00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:20,245
astronaut 1: This is Salvation One.
164
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:23,003
We've lost our visual on theAgents of S.M.A.S.H. Over.
165
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,753
mission control: Copy that.Move into orbit and stand by.
166
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:28,173
astronaut 2: Sorry, Hulks.You're on your own.
167
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000
(engine bellowing)
168
00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:34,752
-She-Hulk: Is that...
-(thuds)
169
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:35,834
...ugh, hair?
170
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:40,376
Oh, sick, dude.
He's got massive beard tendrils.
171
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:43,418
We're not getting taken out
by some planet's scruffy beard.
172
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,210
Everybody, to your fighters.
173
00:07:45,291 --> 00:07:47,581
Stand down, Greenie.
I haven't given that--
174
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,127
-(thuds)
-(groans)
175
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,630
Why do I get the caboose, huh?
176
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:56,750
Skaar: Skaar shave.
177
00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:58,499
Skaar, look out.
178
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,287
(Skaar yelling)
179
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,998
We've lost Skaar. We're turning around.
180
00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:05,128
(whooshing)
181
00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:08,627
What? We're all going after dog boy?
182
00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:12,581
(rumbles)
183
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,131
-I'm hit. Going down.
-(alarm wailing)
184
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:17,078
-We're all going down.
-(alarm beeping)
185
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,543
If we do, the earth is finished.
186
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,922
(explodes)
187
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,750
-(groans)
-Great. There goes our ride home.
188
00:08:27,041 --> 00:08:28,791
(rumbling)
189
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:32,625
All right, you floating ball of ugly.
190
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,040
You and me.
191
00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:36,375
Right here. Right now.
192
00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:39,042
-(thuds)
-(rumbles)
193
00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:43,629
Ego has graced this galaxy
with his numinous presence,
194
00:08:43,709 --> 00:08:46,579
absorbing planets to increase his size.
195
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,627
See that big, blue orb up there?
196
00:08:48,709 --> 00:08:50,629
That's our planet, Earth.
197
00:08:50,709 --> 00:08:52,079
You're about to wreck the place.
198
00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:54,746
And endanger billions of lives, you jerk.
199
00:08:58,166 --> 00:08:59,786
-(grunting)
-(thumping)
200
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,293
Ego: Specks of dust.
201
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,827
You mean nothing to Ego.
202
00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:09,501
All you have gained is a clear view
of the destruction of your world.
203
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:10,833
(roaring)
204
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,457
(rumbling)
205
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:14,628
What are you doing?
206
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:17,379
I had that rocky jerk
right where I wanted him.
207
00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:19,538
I don't know who has the bigger ego,
208
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:22,535
you or the planet named "Ego".
209
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:23,957
Ego may be bigger,
210
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,421
but we still got him
outnumbered five to one.
211
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:30,002
We need to stick together.
Change his mind.
212
00:09:30,083 --> 00:09:31,883
Change mind?
213
00:09:32,417 --> 00:09:35,037
Maybe... smash brain.
214
00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:37,205
From the mouths of barbarians.
215
00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:40,041
(tense music)
216
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,630
Red Hulk: If we wanna get to its brain,
217
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,169
we go through Schnoz Mountain over there.
218
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,920
Hulk: We won't get far jumping.
Gravity's too strong.
219
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,130
We walk from here.
220
00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:53,788
You couldn't lead your butt
out of a pair of purple shorts.
221
00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:54,995
Follow me!
222
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,750
Being a leader isn't aboutbeing best at everything.
223
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,786
It's about knowing thestrengths of your teammates.
224
00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:05,213
Red Hulk: Ha, you see that, Hulky?
225
00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:07,131
I got us halfway to the mountain,
226
00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:08,878
safe and sound.
227
00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:11,039
(slurps)
Ah, water.
228
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:12,375
A-Bomb: So thirsty.
229
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:14,495
(spits)
230
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,293
Yuck. It's slimy.
231
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:19,325
(spitting)
Ugh! Oh! It's drool!
232
00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:21,422
Oh, I put it in my mouth.
233
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,174
(groaning)
Oh, it's chunky.
234
00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:27,382
(slurring)
I can still taste it on my tongue. Ugh!
235
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:30,955
Wait, if this is drool,
236
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,671
then we're standing right over Ego's--
237
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,210
-(rumbling)
-Mouth?
238
00:10:34,291 --> 00:10:35,921
Oh, you gotta be...
239
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,250
(all screaming)
240
00:10:38,375 --> 00:10:40,165
(all grunt)
241
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,542
-A-Bomb: Oh, can it get any worse?
-(Ego belching)
242
00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:46,251
Ugh.
243
00:10:46,792 --> 00:10:49,712
His breath is even worse than yours, Red.
244
00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:51,422
Hope you get swallowed.
245
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:55,330
Ego: Now you shall all be devoured!
246
00:10:55,417 --> 00:10:57,127
(rumbling)
247
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,288
(grunts)
248
00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:00,916
A-Bomb, go!
249
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000
(grunting)
250
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,082
(Ego roaring)
251
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:05,786
(all grunting)
252
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:06,825
(grunts)
253
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,173
And... we're trapped.
254
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,577
-(clicks)
-(grunts)
255
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:17,543
And cue the hideous, giant, alien tongue.
256
00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:20,537
(Ego screeching)
257
00:11:23,959 --> 00:11:25,829
-(yelling)
-She-Hulk: Hulk!
258
00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:29,165
-(grunts)
-(thuds)
259
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,833
(grunting)
Feel that, Ego?
260
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,963
-(thudding)
-(clanking)
261
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:38,631
Skaar: Skaar make holes in teeth!
Skaar make holes in teeth!
262
00:11:38,709 --> 00:11:40,629
Rick, roll us a path out of here.
263
00:11:40,709 --> 00:11:44,249
(laughing)
Yeah! Dr. Mouthbomb reporting for surgery.
264
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:47,383
Mama always said I'd make a great dentist.
265
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,708
(both grunt)
266
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,962
Hey.
267
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:54,495
Follow me!
I'm leading this cavity cavalry.
268
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,580
-(gunshot)
-(rumbles)
269
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,211
A-Bomb: That's kinda impressive
on a superhero resume.
270
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,251
"Fought giant teeth the
size of the Stark Tower."
271
00:12:09,417 --> 00:12:10,457
Ugh.
272
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:11,632
-More drool?
-(squelching)
273
00:12:11,709 --> 00:12:13,539
Can it get any more disgusting?
274
00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:16,165
Just wait till we get to the nose.
275
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,710
Yuck.
276
00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:20,002
Big head planet has bad skin.
277
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,500
-(squeaking)
-(squelching)
278
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,540
-Ugh. Acid!
-(fizzes)
279
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:28,997
Twenty foot acid zits with the pus and...
280
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,208
giant whiteheads.
281
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,080
(gagging)
282
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:35,790
(retches)
283
00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:37,245
(groans)
284
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,080
(whooshing)
285
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:40,417
(yells)
286
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:45,252
Red Hulk: Waste your time on zits.
287
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:48,171
-I'm heading to the nose! Yeah!
-(rapid gunshots)
288
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:49,960
Red, get back here!
289
00:12:51,542 --> 00:12:54,002
-(zaps)
-(splashing)
290
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:57,290
And I thought I had acne
back in high school.
291
00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:59,253
Skaar, make with the boom.
292
00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:01,501
-(grunts)
-(squelches)
293
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:03,214
Epic win, Skaar.
294
00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:05,751
Way to... (gagging)
Pop those zits.
295
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:08,634
Come on. We're getting closer
to the earth by the second.
296
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:11,997
(Ego growling)
297
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:15,003
Uh, as usual, Greenie's
bunch is lagging behind,
298
00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:18,543
so, it's up to me, once again,
to get the job done.
299
00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:19,825
Moving out.
300
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,830
(wind howling)
301
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,038
(Red Hulk yelling)
302
00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,577
-Ugh!
-(squelches)
303
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,077
(growling)
304
00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:34,745
No Green tag-alongs
or slimy snot-ridden booger delta's
305
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:37,084
gonna detain General Thunderbolt Ross.
306
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:38,376
No siree.
307
00:13:38,709 --> 00:13:40,289
(grunting)
Gotta, ugh...
308
00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:42,535
make it...
309
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,495
to brain.
310
00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:47,626
-(beeping)
-Wow. I got a message from our fans.
311
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:48,745
Oh.
312
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,130
Hulk, you better see this.
313
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,080
(people screaming)
314
00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:59,251
Can't take much moreof these gravity quakes.
315
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:01,581
If you haven't signed your will,better get on it.
316
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:03,537
Turns out the end is near.
317
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,083
We gotta stop Ego. Now.
318
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,460
(straining)
319
00:14:09,542 --> 00:14:12,462
Gonna take more than a mountain of mucus
to halt this charge.
320
00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:14,542
Out of the way, nose goblin!
321
00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:17,535
-Burn, you buggers! Burn!
-(rapid gunfire)
322
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:19,955
(laughing)
323
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:21,753
(squelching)
324
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,713
Come at me.
325
00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:25,332
(grunting)
326
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:28,877
-Uh!
-(sneezing)
327
00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:31,169
-(yelling)
-(rumbling)
328
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:33,332
(rumbling)
329
00:14:33,417 --> 00:14:34,457
Hold on.
330
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,037
(all yelling)
331
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:40,792
(laughing)
332
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:44,631
(groaning)
333
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:50,955
Your pitiful blue orb
is soon to be decimated.
334
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:55,915
Each and every lowly
life form extinguished.
335
00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:58,792
Such is my will.
336
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:02,081
The will of Ego!
337
00:15:03,375 --> 00:15:05,785
Never been trash-talkedby a planet before.
338
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:09,125
Would dish some back,but I need to save my breath.
339
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,875
(tense music)
340
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:17,168
In the sky you're seeinga hunk of extinction-sized rock
341
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,670
racing into our zip code.
342
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,380
-(people screaming)
-(sirens wailing)
343
00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:28,207
(muffled yelling)
344
00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:31,955
(squelching)
345
00:15:33,291 --> 00:15:35,501
(groans)
346
00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:37,543
-She-Hulk: Skaar!
-Huh?
347
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,633
-(squelches)
-Aah!
348
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:44,543
(retching)
349
00:15:44,625 --> 00:15:45,495
Oh!
350
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:47,883
I'm gonna have booger breath for a month.
351
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,040
She-Hulk: Tell me about it.
352
00:15:49,458 --> 00:15:51,748
-Wait. What happened to Hulk?
-(squelching)
353
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:55,498
(grunting)
354
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,880
astronaut 1: Negative, control.Still no sign of the Hulks.
355
00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:03,081
astronaut 2: Wait a minute. What is that?
356
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:04,576
astronaut 1: It's him.
357
00:16:04,917 --> 00:16:07,037
astronaut 2: What's he doing out here?
358
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:08,631
(grunting)
359
00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:10,541
Got it.
360
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,709
astronaut 2: Three, two, one...
361
00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:15,042
Hulk away.
362
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:17,165
(roaring)
363
00:16:17,458 --> 00:16:20,128
(rumbling)
364
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:23,918
That's gonna leave a mark.
365
00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:26,205
(grunts)
It's official.
366
00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:27,881
I'm mad.
367
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:34,383
Hulk: Hoof it, Hulks.
We're running out of time.
368
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:35,628
She-Hulk: Well...
369
00:16:35,917 --> 00:16:38,377
look where the lone-wolf cowboy landed.
370
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,753
-Red. Slimed.
-(grunting)
371
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,544
Can we pick him up on the way back?
372
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,995
Like it or not, he's one of us.
373
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:49,463
Agents of S.M.A.S.H.
look out for each other, Jen.
374
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,125
Spoken like a true superhero.
375
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:54,285
-(grunting)
-(squelching)
376
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,127
(sputtering)
377
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:58,918
What are you goons doing here? I got this.
378
00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:01,131
(chuckling)
Seriously?
379
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,328
Yeah. I'll show you all.
380
00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:04,537
(growling)
381
00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:05,745
(yells)
382
00:17:06,917 --> 00:17:08,037
(whimpers)
383
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:08,995
(thuds)
384
00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:10,543
Can't do everything, Red.
385
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,625
And I'm done watching you try
while the team gets hurt.
386
00:17:13,709 --> 00:17:15,879
Okay, so what's your big plan?
387
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,460
Only way to the brain
is through the sinuses.
388
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:19,962
But it's closed up.
389
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,575
Skaar: Hulk smash nose hole?
390
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:23,785
Hulk: Not quite.
391
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:26,495
But this time, we do it together.
392
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:29,293
Come on, Hulks. Yank this nose hair.
393
00:17:29,417 --> 00:17:30,957
This is stupid.
394
00:17:31,041 --> 00:17:33,881
You're gonna get us all snot-rocketed
when he sneezes again.
395
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,500
(groans)
396
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:38,418
(splashes)
397
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:41,040
(Ego groaning)
398
00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:46,915
-Red, hurry! Grab on.
-Yeah.
399
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,750
Can't sneeze without opening the sinuses.
400
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,714
(sneezing)
401
00:17:50,792 --> 00:17:53,542
-(wind howling)
-(all yelling)
402
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,035
-(thuds)
-(all grunt)
403
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,580
Gesundheit.
404
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:01,497
Okay, mega sneeze avoided. Now what?
405
00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:03,712
The fun part.
406
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,294
We keep smashing.
407
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:08,290
-(all grunting)
-(thumping)
408
00:18:09,375 --> 00:18:12,285
(Ego groaning)
409
00:18:14,959 --> 00:18:16,749
-(rumbling)
-(all grunt)
410
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:22,456
Ego: You are stepping on the biggest brain
in the known universe.
411
00:18:22,542 --> 00:18:26,882
The greatest mind in all of reality.
412
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:28,496
(whirring)
413
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:33,424
You go no further!
414
00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:35,002
Shiny.
415
00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:37,379
-(zaps)
-(all grunt)
416
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,710
That's two you owe me, Red.
417
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:45,246
Bow down to Ego
and your end will be swift.
418
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,753
Never!
419
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:48,633
(roaring)
420
00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:52,463
-(thuds)
-(whirs)
421
00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:54,632
(zaps)
422
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,293
(crackling)
423
00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:05,004
(rumbling)
424
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,080
(chuckling)
After you, fearless leader.
425
00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:10,956
-(thuds)
-Whoa!
426
00:19:11,041 --> 00:19:12,671
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
427
00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:14,880
-(grunting)
-(sighs)
428
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,003
(grunting)
429
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,673
Red Hulk: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
430
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:19,580
-(grunts)
-(thuds)
431
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:20,997
(all grunting)
432
00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:22,293
(grunting)
433
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:23,535
Bouncy.
434
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,828
(Ego in high-pitched voice)
Look away, insects.
435
00:19:25,917 --> 00:19:27,417
-I command you.
-(crackling)
436
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,500
Keep away from me.
437
00:19:28,583 --> 00:19:32,833
Yep. It's the dudes with the biggest Egos
that are usually the biggest pinheads.
438
00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:34,627
That's what he was all along?
439
00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:37,169
A tiny Ego inside a giant planet head?
440
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:40,290
-Wouldn't you know?
-You two have a lot in common.
441
00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:41,632
(grunts)
442
00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:43,789
Yes, Red monster,
443
00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:46,041
you are powerful like Ego.
444
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:49,285
Join Ego and we shall rule the universe.
445
00:19:49,792 --> 00:19:50,922
(nervous giggling)
446
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,880
Put a sock in it, squeaky.
447
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,880
I learned my lesson.
448
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,669
There's no "I" in the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.
449
00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:00,125
(heroic music)
450
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:02,710
Stay back.
451
00:20:02,917 --> 00:20:04,747
(whimpering)
Help me. Ah!
452
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,955
-(crackling)
-(snaps)
453
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,333
You got two choices.
454
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:14,075
A, you get us back to earth
and leave our galaxy forever.
455
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:17,666
Or, B, we slam-dunk you into the sun.
456
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,960
What'll it be?
457
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:21,421
Uh...
458
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,080
Ego submits.
459
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,036
Great.
460
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:26,080
Uh, so how do we get home?
461
00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:28,921
I think I can get us a ride.
462
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:30,785
(groaning)
463
00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:32,575
(thumping)
464
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,496
(sighs)
465
00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:37,503
Skaar: Bad planet goes away.
466
00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:40,003
She-Hulk: And not a minute too soon.
467
00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,417
(heroic music)
468
00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:46,423
Looks like you Hulks saved the day.
469
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,960
(people cheering)
470
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,381
Spider-man's plot has failed.
471
00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:55,288
The planetoid has missed the earth.
472
00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:58,575
Ah. Guess we can thankchance for this one.
473
00:20:58,667 --> 00:21:01,287
I can't believe we're not
getting credit for this.
474
00:21:01,417 --> 00:21:02,787
-(thuds)
-(groans)
475
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:04,495
Hulk: Check your ego at the door.
476
00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:06,463
We did this 'cause it was the right thing,
477
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:08,252
not to get you a parade.
478
00:21:08,291 --> 00:21:09,291
(scoffs)
479
00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:11,753
Do I like Green?
480
00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:13,327
Nah.
481
00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,132
But do I respect him?
482
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:19,035
Yeah, okay.
483
00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:20,960
Got me there.
484
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:23,333
Hmm.
(chuckling)
485
00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:25,327
Guess it took a planet to show Red
486
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,127
just how big his head is...
487
00:21:27,542 --> 00:21:29,542
and us to bring it down to size.
488
00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:31,712
Hulk out.
489
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:35,875
(closing theme music)
33363
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.