1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:02,583
(heroic music)

2
00:00:06,792 --> 00:00:08,632
(alarm buzzing)

3
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:14,291
Hulk: Listen up, team. It's training time.

4
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,127
That means learning to work together.

5
00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:19,998
Yo, Hulkites. You're getting
exclusive access to Hulk practice.

6
00:00:20,083 --> 00:00:22,423
<i>Check out how we make smashing magic.</i>

7
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,710
One side, Jones.

8
00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:25,042
-(thuds)
-(groans)

9
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,535
Hey.

10
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:28,535
-(gasps)
-(thuds)

11
00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:30,633
Red Hulk: Merry Christmas, smashers.

12
00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:32,499
Troops are only as good as their weapons,

13
00:00:32,583 --> 00:00:34,133
so, come and get them.

14
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,538
Here you go, rookie.

15
00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:37,825
The gamma rocket launcher!

16
00:00:38,041 --> 00:00:38,881
Whoa!

17
00:00:38,959 --> 00:00:40,999
Don't say I never did nothing for you.

18
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,833
-Awesome sauce!
-(launcher charging)

19
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,037
(Red Hulk groaning)

20
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:46,330
(groans)

21
00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:49,457
(nervous chuckle)
Uh, sorry. Safety was off.

22
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:50,672
Heya, Skaar.

23
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,290
You like stuff what goes boom, don't you?

24
00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:54,285
Hmm.

25
00:00:54,417 --> 00:00:55,287
(swishes)

26
00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:57,877
Red Hulk: The ka-boomerang!

27
00:00:57,959 --> 00:00:59,169
Hmm.
(sniffing)

28
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,420
-(growling)
-(clangs)

29
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,577
And some fancy hand wear for the lady.

30
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,502
Red Hulk: The gamma gauntlets!

31
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:10,128
-Oh, no. These are for everyday use.
-(crackling)

32
00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:11,788
-(grunts)
-(thuds)

33
00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:15,211
<i>Problem with Greenie leading is,</i>
<i>he's too cautious.</i>

34
00:01:15,291 --> 00:01:17,211
<i>You wanna lead, you do it from the front</i>

35
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:20,081
<i>like I'm gonna do when I take</i>
<i>charge of this unit.</i>

36
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,666
<i>Gotta get the troops</i>
<i>on my side first, though.</i>

37
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,750
<i>That's why they got the new hardware.</i>

38
00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:26,834
(sighing)

39
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:29,167
<i>I know Red. He's up to no good.</i>

40
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:32,210
<i>Probably trying to take over the team</i>
<i>or some nonsense.</i>

41
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:35,996
-Hulk: Dibs on this!
-Hey, I was gonna use the gamma blaster!

42
00:01:38,417 --> 00:01:40,787
We got our weapons. Let's do this.

43
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:44,415
Give me that remote, Jade Jaws.
This is my territory.

44
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,830
I've trained raw recruits
into special forces elite.

45
00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:51,707
Children, get ready
for the Hulk Smasher 5000.

46
00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,500
(clanking)

47
00:01:55,375 --> 00:01:57,665
All right, A-Bomb, ball up and hit it low.

48
00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:01,130
Skaar, slash it open so She-Hulk
can get to the controls.

49
00:02:01,417 --> 00:02:03,417
-Red, take long-range firepower--
-(yelling)

50
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,000
I'll just show you how it's done.

51
00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:07,293
(laughing)

52
00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:08,785
-Skaar throw.
-(clangs)

53
00:02:09,667 --> 00:02:11,287
Pay attention, Fido.

54
00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:12,745
I'll train you.
(grunts)

55
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,420
(explodes)

56
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:18,666
I'm gonna light this baby up,
A-Bomb style.

57
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:19,790
-Give me that.
-Hey!

58
00:02:19,875 --> 00:02:21,035
Watch and learn, rookie.

59
00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:22,786
-(yelling)
-(gunshots)

60
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,130
-(yells)
-(explodes)

61
00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:32,748
So, how exactly is this teamwork?

62
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,333
-(Red yelling)
-(rapid gunshots)

63
00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:38,999
<i>Red wants to lead a team.</i>

64
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:42,036
<i>He just... doesn't want anyone else on it.</i>

65
00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:45,542
Don't worry.
I'm here to pick up Red's pieces.

66
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,245
(weapon powering-up)

67
00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:50,293
-(whooshing)
-(exploding)

68
00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:52,081
(thuds)

69
00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:54,416
Remind me to slug Red when this is over.

70
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,460
-(grunting)
-(thumping)

71
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,210
(yelling)

72
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:01,037
-(yelling)
-(thumping)

73
00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:04,460
You're not gonna one-up me, Greenie!

74
00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:07,791
(explodes)

75
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,165
-(clanks)
-(alarm buzzes)

76
00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:16,212
What are you, a one-man army?

77
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:18,461
Save some for the rest of us, Green.

78
00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:20,502
Hey, you went all lone wolf.

79
00:03:20,583 --> 00:03:23,293
There's problems out there
bigger than tanks, Red.

80
00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:25,455
Problems you can't handle alone.

81
00:03:25,583 --> 00:03:27,043
Red Hulk: I can handle anything.

82
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,128
(rumbling)

83
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,628
Whoa. Whoa, whoa! Hey now!

84
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,169
-(alarm buzzing)
-Earthquake?

85
00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:36,668
What is it?

86
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:39,499
(rumbling)

87
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:42,423
A planet.

88
00:03:42,709 --> 00:03:44,039
And it's coming this way.

89
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:50,875
(theme music)

90
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,173
Quick, everybody on the elevator.

91
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:00,955
-(rumbling)
-(alarm buzzing)

92
00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:05,674
<i>Is the end near?</i>

93
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:07,544
<i>If you're like me and eyeing the sky,</i>

94
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,785
<i>you're seeing a hunk</i>
<i>of extinction-sized rock</i>

95
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,785
<i>racing into our zip code.</i>

96
00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:14,995
<i>The uniforms at S.H.I.E.L.D. are saying</i>
<i>there's nothing to worry about,</i>

97
00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:17,633
<i>-and this reporter hopes...</i>
-These earthquakes will only get worse

98
00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:19,419
as the planetoid gets closer.

99
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,170
Even if it misses,
it'll still tear earth apart.

100
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:24,003
Planet evil.

101
00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:26,711
So, how do we stop it?
Put up a detour sign?

102
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:28,422
Hulk: We need to get a closer look.

103
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,920
-Everyone into the jump jet.
-No need, Green.

104
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,880
I'll do this myself
and be back by supper time.

105
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:34,959
(growls)

106
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:38,376
(engine bellowing)

107
00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:44,541
(whooshing)

108
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:51,882
All right, I let you take her out,

109
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,500
but you're in my pilot's chair, buddy.

110
00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:56,423
I called shotgun for you, Shulkie.

111
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,670
Sit back, relax, and I'll get us out
to that rock in no time.

112
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,960
Look, I'm as excited to punch
a planet as the next Hulk, but...

113
00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:06,921
But nothing. I've done this
a thousand times, Greenie.

114
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,290
I'm gonna go ahead and doubt
you've ever punched a planet.

115
00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:13,915
Let's see what the professional
planet smasher has in mind.

116
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,540
Seatbacks and tray tables
in the upright position!

117
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:17,575
(Red Hulk laughs)

118
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:23,625
<i>First rule of being in charge,</i>

119
00:05:23,709 --> 00:05:27,129
<i>be better than the Green-grilled noobs</i>
<i>you're bossing around.</i>

120
00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:29,581
<i>Good leader does everybody's job better.</i>

121
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,747
I told Fury we're taking the first shot.

122
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:36,504
I figure if we target the planet's poles
we can knock it off-course.

123
00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:38,543
Off-course?
(scoffs)

124
00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:40,745
I'm blowing that mud-ball to smithereens.

125
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:42,544
-(thumps)
-(laughs)

126
00:05:43,083 --> 00:05:44,293
(whooshes)

127
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:48,080
(exploding)

128
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:50,075
Hulk: Nice going, Red.

129
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:52,666
Maybe you could just yell at it next time.

130
00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:54,000
-Um, guys?
-(sensor beeping)

131
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,750
This is weird.

132
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:58,174
The planet's gravity is doubling.

133
00:05:58,542 --> 00:06:01,252
She-Hulk: And we're being
sucked right into it.

134
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,130
(grunting)

135
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000
Red Hulk: What is that?

136
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,750
<i>Is it just me,</i>

137
00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:10,377
<i>or does that planet</i>
<i>kinda look like a dude?</i>

138
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:15,458
Ego: Who dares disturb Ego?

139
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,958
(gasping)
<i>It's... a...</i>

140
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:21,081
<i>living...</i>

141
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:22,286
<i>planet...</i>

142
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,670
<i>who speaks perfect English.</i>

143
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,420
<i>Does anybody else think that's weird?</i>

144
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,880
Insects.

145
00:06:27,959 --> 00:06:31,209
You have incited Ego's wrath.

146
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:35,291
<i>Know you're in trouble when you</i>
<i>tick off a planet with a face.</i>

147
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:38,165
(wheezing)

148
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,290
Ugly planet eat us?

149
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:43,077
Kinda looking that way.

150
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:45,460
A-Bomb: Hulk, if you've got a plan,

151
00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:47,002
now's the time to share.

152
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:48,833
Hulk: Your one-man show is over.

153
00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:50,077
Hey!

154
00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:52,168
It's a mutiny, is what it is.

155
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,880
(grunting)

156
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:56,422
Firing all thrusters.

157
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:59,042
(engine roaring)

158
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:09,923
She-Hulk: We're breaking free!

159
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000
A-Bomb: Uh...

160
00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:12,713
we're going the wrong way.

161
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:14,752
Hulk: Gravity's too strong!

162
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,250
(tense music)

163
00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:20,245
astronaut 1: <i>This is Salvation One.</i>

164
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:23,003
<i>We've lost our visual on the</i>
<i>Agents of S.M.A.S.H. Over.</i>

165
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,753
mission control: <i>Copy that.</i>
<i>Move into orbit and stand by.</i>

166
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:28,173
astronaut 2: <i>Sorry, Hulks.</i>
<i>You're on your own.</i>

167
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000
(engine bellowing)

168
00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:34,752
-She-Hulk: Is that...
-(thuds)

169
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:35,834
...ugh, hair?

170
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:40,376
Oh, sick, dude.
He's got massive beard tendrils.

171
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:43,418
We're not getting taken out
by some planet's scruffy beard.

172
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,210
Everybody, to your fighters.

173
00:07:45,291 --> 00:07:47,581
Stand down, Greenie.
I haven't given that--

174
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,127
-(thuds)
-(groans)

175
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,630
<i>Why do I get the caboose, huh?</i>

176
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:56,750
Skaar: Skaar shave.

177
00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:58,499
Skaar, look out.

178
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,287
(Skaar yelling)

179
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,998
We've lost Skaar. We're turning around.

180
00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:05,128
(whooshing)

181
00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:08,627
What? We're all going after dog boy?

182
00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:12,581
(rumbles)

183
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,131
-I'm hit. Going down.
-(alarm wailing)

184
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:17,078
-We're all going down.
-(alarm beeping)

185
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,543
If we do, the earth is finished.

186
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,922
(explodes)

187
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,750
-(groans)
-Great. There goes our ride home.

188
00:08:27,041 --> 00:08:28,791
(rumbling)

189
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:32,625
All right, you floating ball of ugly.

190
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,040
You and me.

191
00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:36,375
Right here. Right now.

192
00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:39,042
-(thuds)
-(rumbles)

193
00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:43,629
Ego has graced this galaxy
with his numinous presence,

194
00:08:43,709 --> 00:08:46,579
absorbing planets to increase his size.

195
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,627
See that big, blue orb up there?

196
00:08:48,709 --> 00:08:50,629
That's our planet, Earth.

197
00:08:50,709 --> 00:08:52,079
You're about to wreck the place.

198
00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:54,746
And endanger billions of lives, you jerk.

199
00:08:58,166 --> 00:08:59,786
-(grunting)
-(thumping)

200
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,293
Ego: Specks of dust.

201
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,827
You mean nothing to Ego.

202
00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:09,501
All you have gained is a clear view
of the destruction of your world.

203
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:10,833
(roaring)

204
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,457
(rumbling)

205
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:14,628
What are you doing?

206
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:17,379
I had that rocky jerk
right where I wanted him.

207
00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:19,538
I don't know who has the bigger ego,

208
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:22,535
you or the planet named "Ego".

209
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:23,957
Ego may be bigger,

210
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,421
but we still got him
outnumbered five to one.

211
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:30,002
We need to stick together.
Change his mind.

212
00:09:30,083 --> 00:09:31,883
Change mind?

213
00:09:32,417 --> 00:09:35,037
Maybe... smash brain.

214
00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:37,205
From the mouths of barbarians.

215
00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:40,041
(tense music)

216
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,630
Red Hulk: If we wanna get to its brain,

217
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,169
we go through Schnoz Mountain over there.

218
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,920
Hulk: We won't get far jumping.
Gravity's too strong.

219
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,130
We walk from here.

220
00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:53,788
You couldn't lead your butt
out of a pair of purple shorts.

221
00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:54,995
Follow me!

222
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,750
<i>Being a leader isn't about</i>
<i>being best at everything.</i>

223
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,786
<i>It's about knowing the</i>
<i>strengths of your teammates.</i>

224
00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:05,213
Red Hulk: Ha, you see that, Hulky?

225
00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:07,131
I got us halfway to the mountain,

226
00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:08,878
safe and sound.

227
00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:11,039
(slurps)
Ah, water.

228
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:12,375
A-Bomb: So thirsty.

229
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:14,495
(spits)

230
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,293
Yuck. It's slimy.

231
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:19,325
(spitting)
Ugh! Oh! It's drool!

232
00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:21,422
Oh, I put it in my mouth.

233
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,174
(groaning)
Oh, it's chunky.

234
00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:27,382
(slurring)
<i>I can still taste it on my tongue. Ugh!</i>

235
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:30,955
Wait, if this is drool,

236
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,671
then we're standing right over Ego's--

237
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,210
-(rumbling)
-Mouth?

238
00:10:34,291 --> 00:10:35,921
Oh, you gotta be...

239
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,250
(all screaming)

240
00:10:38,375 --> 00:10:40,165
(all grunt)

241
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,542
-A-Bomb: Oh, can it get any worse?
-(Ego belching)

242
00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:46,251
Ugh.

243
00:10:46,792 --> 00:10:49,712
His breath is even worse than yours, Red.

244
00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:51,422
Hope you get swallowed.

245
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:55,330
Ego: Now you shall all be devoured!

246
00:10:55,417 --> 00:10:57,127
(rumbling)

247
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,288
(grunts)

248
00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:00,916
A-Bomb, go!

249
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000
(grunting)

250
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,082
(Ego roaring)

251
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:05,786
(all grunting)

252
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:06,825
(grunts)

253
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,173
And... we're trapped.

254
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,577
-(clicks)
-(grunts)

255
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:17,543
And cue the hideous, giant, alien tongue.

256
00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:20,537
(Ego screeching)

257
00:11:23,959 --> 00:11:25,829
-(yelling)
-She-Hulk: Hulk!

258
00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:29,165
-(grunts)
-(thuds)

259
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,833
(grunting)
Feel that, Ego?

260
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,963
-(thudding)
-(clanking)

261
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:38,631
Skaar: Skaar make holes in teeth!
Skaar make holes in teeth!

262
00:11:38,709 --> 00:11:40,629
Rick, roll us a path out of here.

263
00:11:40,709 --> 00:11:44,249
(laughing)
Yeah! Dr. Mouthbomb reporting for surgery.

264
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:47,383
Mama always said I'd make a great dentist.

265
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,708
(both grunt)

266
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,962
Hey.

267
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:54,495
Follow me!
I'm leading this cavity cavalry.

268
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,580
-(gunshot)
-(rumbles)

269
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,211
A-Bomb: That's kinda impressive
on a superhero resume.

270
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,251
"Fought giant teeth the
size of the Stark Tower."

271
00:12:09,417 --> 00:12:10,457
Ugh.

272
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:11,632
-More drool?
-(squelching)

273
00:12:11,709 --> 00:12:13,539
Can it get any more disgusting?

274
00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:16,165
Just wait till we get to the nose.

275
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,710
Yuck.

276
00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:20,002
Big head planet has bad skin.

277
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,500
-(squeaking)
-(squelching)

278
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,540
-Ugh. Acid!
-(fizzes)

279
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:28,997
<i>Twenty foot acid zits with the pus and...</i>

280
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,208
<i>giant whiteheads.</i>

281
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,080
(gagging)

282
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:35,790
(retches)

283
00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:37,245
(groans)

284
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,080
(whooshing)

285
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:40,417
(yells)

286
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:45,252
Red Hulk: Waste your time on zits.

287
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:48,171
-I'm heading to the nose! Yeah!
-(rapid gunshots)

288
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:49,960
Red, get back here!

289
00:12:51,542 --> 00:12:54,002
-(zaps)
-(splashing)

290
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:57,290
And I thought I had acne
back in high school.

291
00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:59,253
Skaar, make with the boom.

292
00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:01,501
-(grunts)
-(squelches)

293
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:03,214
Epic win, Skaar.

294
00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:05,751
Way to... (gagging)
Pop those zits.

295
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:08,634
Come on. We're getting closer
to the earth by the second.

296
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:11,997
(Ego growling)

297
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:15,003
Uh, as usual, Greenie's
bunch is lagging behind,

298
00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:18,543
so, it's up to me, once again,
to get the job done.

299
00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:19,825
Moving out.

300
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,830
(wind howling)

301
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,038
(Red Hulk yelling)

302
00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,577
-Ugh!
-(squelches)

303
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,077
(growling)

304
00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:34,745
No Green tag-alongs
or slimy snot-ridden booger delta's

305
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:37,084
gonna detain General Thunderbolt Ross.

306
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:38,376
No siree.

307
00:13:38,709 --> 00:13:40,289
(grunting)
Gotta, ugh...

308
00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:42,535
make it...

309
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,495
to brain.

310
00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:47,626
-(beeping)
-Wow. I got a message from our fans.

311
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:48,745
Oh.

312
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,130
Hulk, you better see this.

313
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,080
(people screaming)

314
00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:59,251
<i>Can't take much more</i>
<i>of these gravity quakes.</i>

315
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:01,581
<i>If you haven't signed your will,</i>
<i>better get on it.</i>

316
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:03,537
<i>Turns out the end is near.</i>

317
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,083
We gotta stop Ego. Now.

318
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,460
(straining)

319
00:14:09,542 --> 00:14:12,462
Gonna take more than a mountain of mucus
to halt this charge.

320
00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:14,542
Out of the way, nose goblin!

321
00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:17,535
-Burn, you buggers! Burn!
-(rapid gunfire)

322
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:19,955
(laughing)

323
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:21,753
(squelching)

324
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,713
Come at me.

325
00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:25,332
(grunting)

326
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:28,877
-Uh!
-(sneezing)

327
00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:31,169
-(yelling)
-(rumbling)

328
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:33,332
(rumbling)

329
00:14:33,417 --> 00:14:34,457
Hold on.

330
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,037
(all yelling)

331
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:40,792
(laughing)

332
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:44,631
(groaning)

333
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:50,955
Your pitiful blue orb
is soon to be decimated.

334
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:55,915
Each and every lowly
life form extinguished.

335
00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:58,792
Such is my will.

336
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:02,081
The will of Ego!

337
00:15:03,375 --> 00:15:05,785
<i>Never been trash-talked</i>
<i>by a planet before.</i>

338
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:09,125
<i>Would dish some back,</i>
<i>but I need to save my breath.</i>

339
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,875
(tense music)

340
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:17,168
<i>In the sky you're seeing</i>
<i>a hunk of extinction-sized rock</i>

341
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,670
<i>racing into our zip code.</i>

342
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,380
-(people screaming)
-(sirens wailing)

343
00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:28,207
(muffled yelling)

344
00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:31,955
(squelching)

345
00:15:33,291 --> 00:15:35,501
(groans)

346
00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:37,543
-She-Hulk: Skaar!
-Huh?

347
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,633
-(squelches)
-Aah!

348
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:44,543
(retching)

349
00:15:44,625 --> 00:15:45,495
Oh!

350
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:47,883
I'm gonna have booger breath for a month.

351
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,040
She-Hulk: Tell me about it.

352
00:15:49,458 --> 00:15:51,748
-Wait. What happened to Hulk?
-(squelching)

353
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:55,498
(grunting)

354
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,880
astronaut 1: <i>Negative, control.</i>
<i>Still no sign of the Hulks.</i>

355
00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:03,081
astronaut 2: <i>Wait a minute. What is that?</i>

356
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:04,576
astronaut 1: <i>It's him.</i>

357
00:16:04,917 --> 00:16:07,037
astronaut 2: <i>What's he doing out here?</i>

358
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:08,631
(grunting)

359
00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:10,541
<i>Got it.</i>

360
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,709
astronaut 2: <i>Three, two, one...</i>

361
00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:15,042
<i>Hulk away.</i>

362
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:17,165
(roaring)

363
00:16:17,458 --> 00:16:20,128
(rumbling)

364
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:23,918
That's gonna leave a mark.

365
00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:26,205
(grunts)
It's official.

366
00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:27,881
I'm mad.

367
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:34,383
Hulk: Hoof it, Hulks.
We're running out of time.

368
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:35,628
She-Hulk: Well...

369
00:16:35,917 --> 00:16:38,377
look where the lone-wolf cowboy landed.

370
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,753
-Red. Slimed.
-(grunting)

371
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,544
Can we pick him up on the way back?

372
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,995
Like it or not, he's one of us.

373
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:49,463
Agents of S.M.A.S.H.
look out for each other, Jen.

374
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,125
Spoken like a true superhero.

375
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:54,285
-(grunting)
-(squelching)

376
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,127
(sputtering)

377
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:58,918
What are you goons doing here? I got this.

378
00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:01,131
(chuckling)
Seriously?

379
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,328
Yeah. I'll show you all.

380
00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:04,537
(growling)

381
00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:05,745
(yells)

382
00:17:06,917 --> 00:17:08,037
(whimpers)

383
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:08,995
(thuds)

384
00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:10,543
Can't do everything, Red.

385
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,625
And I'm done watching you try
while the team gets hurt.

386
00:17:13,709 --> 00:17:15,879
Okay, so what's your big plan?

387
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,460
Only way to the brain
is through the sinuses.

388
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:19,962
But it's closed up.

389
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,575
Skaar: Hulk smash nose hole?

390
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:23,785
Hulk: Not quite.

391
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:26,495
But this time, we do it together.

392
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:29,293
Come on, Hulks. Yank this nose hair.

393
00:17:29,417 --> 00:17:30,957
This is stupid.

394
00:17:31,041 --> 00:17:33,881
You're gonna get us all snot-rocketed
when he sneezes again.

395
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,500
(groans)

396
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:38,418
(splashes)

397
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:41,040
(Ego groaning)

398
00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:46,915
-Red, hurry! Grab on.
-Yeah.

399
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,750
Can't sneeze without opening the sinuses.

400
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,714
(sneezing)

401
00:17:50,792 --> 00:17:53,542
-(wind howling)
-(all yelling)

402
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,035
-(thuds)
-(all grunt)

403
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,580
<i>Gesundheit.</i>

404
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:01,497
Okay, mega sneeze avoided. Now what?

405
00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:03,712
The fun part.

406
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,294
We keep smashing.

407
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:08,290
-(all grunting)
-(thumping)

408
00:18:09,375 --> 00:18:12,285
(Ego groaning)

409
00:18:14,959 --> 00:18:16,749
-(rumbling)
-(all grunt)

410
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:22,456
Ego: You are stepping on the biggest brain
in the known universe.

411
00:18:22,542 --> 00:18:26,882
The greatest mind in all of reality.

412
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:28,496
(whirring)

413
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:33,424
You go no further!

414
00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:35,002
Shiny.

415
00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:37,379
-(zaps)
-(all grunt)

416
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,710
That's two you owe me, Red.

417
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:45,246
Bow down to Ego
and your end will be swift.

418
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,753
Never!

419
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:48,633
(roaring)

420
00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:52,463
-(thuds)
-(whirs)

421
00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:54,632
(zaps)

422
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,293
(crackling)

423
00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:05,004
(rumbling)

424
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,080
(chuckling)
After you, fearless leader.

425
00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:10,956
-(thuds)
-Whoa!

426
00:19:11,041 --> 00:19:12,671
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

427
00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:14,880
-(grunting)
-(sighs)

428
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,003
(grunting)

429
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,673
Red Hulk: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

430
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:19,580
-(grunts)
-(thuds)

431
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:20,997
(all grunting)

432
00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:22,293
(grunting)

433
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:23,535
Bouncy.

434
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,828
(Ego in high-pitched voice)
Look away, insects.

435
00:19:25,917 --> 00:19:27,417
-I command you.
-(crackling)

436
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,500
Keep away from me.

437
00:19:28,583 --> 00:19:32,833
Yep. It's the dudes with the biggest Egos
that are usually the biggest pinheads.

438
00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:34,627
That's what he was all along?

439
00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:37,169
A tiny Ego inside a giant planet head?

440
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:40,290
-Wouldn't you know?
-You two have a lot in common.

441
00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:41,632
(grunts)

442
00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:43,789
Yes, Red monster,

443
00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:46,041
you are powerful like Ego.

444
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:49,285
Join Ego and we shall rule the universe.

445
00:19:49,792 --> 00:19:50,922
(nervous giggling)

446
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,880
Put a sock in it, squeaky.

447
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,880
I learned my lesson.

448
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,669
There's no "I" in the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.

449
00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:00,125
(heroic music)

450
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:02,710
Stay back.

451
00:20:02,917 --> 00:20:04,747
(whimpering)
Help me. Ah!

452
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,955
-(crackling)
-(snaps)

453
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,333
You got two choices.

454
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:14,075
A, you get us back to earth
and leave our galaxy forever.

455
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:17,666
Or, B, we slam-dunk you into the sun.

456
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,960
What'll it be?

457
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:21,421
Uh...

458
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,080
Ego submits.

459
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,036
Great.

460
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:26,080
Uh, so how do we get home?

461
00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:28,921
I think I can get us a ride.

462
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:30,785
(groaning)

463
00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:32,575
(thumping)

464
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,496
(sighs)

465
00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:37,503
Skaar: <i>Bad planet goes away.</i>

466
00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:40,003
She-Hulk: <i>And not a minute too soon.</i>

467
00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,417
(heroic music)

468
00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:46,423
Looks like you Hulks saved the day.

469
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,960
(people cheering)

470
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,381
<i>Spider-man's plot has failed.</i>

471
00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:55,288
<i>The planetoid has missed the earth.</i>

472
00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:58,575
<i>Ah. Guess we can thank</i>
<i>chance for this one.</i>

473
00:20:58,667 --> 00:21:01,287
I can't believe we're not
getting credit for this.

474
00:21:01,417 --> 00:21:02,787
-(thuds)
-(groans)

475
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:04,495
Hulk: Check your ego at the door.

476
00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:06,463
We did this 'cause it was the right thing,

477
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:08,252
not to get you a parade.

478
00:21:08,291 --> 00:21:09,291
(scoffs)

479
00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:11,753
<i>Do I like Green?</i>

480
00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:13,327
<i>Nah.</i>

481
00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,132
<i>But do I respect him?</i>

482
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:19,035
<i>Yeah, okay.</i>

483
00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:20,960
<i>Got me there.</i>

484
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:23,333
<i>Hmm.</i>
(chuckling)

485
00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:25,327
<i>Guess it took a planet to show Red</i>

486
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,127
<i>just how big his head is...</i>

487
00:21:27,542 --> 00:21:29,542
<i>and us to bring it down to size.</i>

488
00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:31,712
<i>Hulk out.</i>

489
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:35,875
(closing theme music)