Original subtitles

- Hi. - Hey.

How's it going with those crosswords?

Pretty good.

I mean, I got a couple blind spots.

History and sports and science. Geography.

I never know any rivers.

But I got all the teeth-related ones.

Look at that, 32 across.

- "Molar." - Oh, yeah.

Oh, the L can't go there.

- Yeah. - Hmm.

Oh, man, this is setting off a chain reaction.

Lost the whole southwest corner. Damn it.

All right, I'm just gonna move to the next one.

All right.

More rivers? Come on.

Hey, honey, what do you say we take a break?

- Want to go on a walk? - Sure.

- Oh. - Come on, come on, come on!

- That is perfection. - Whoo! Yes!

Ohhh!

- Bam! - That was really...

- Very nice. - Really?

Aren't they all kind of the same at this point?

No way. Are you crazy?

That one you just did is, like, so fun.

That one on the end's got more of a serious vibe.

And that big one, that's the...

that's the bad boy of the group.

Yeah, I can see that.

He's kind of like a James Dean you could put a salad in.

Yeah.

You want to go for a walk?

- Yes, but real quick... - Okay.

Do you happen to know of a river that runs through Paris?

The Seine.

Are you sure?

Because then that makes this "suffalo wings."

Do you remember the time we were here

and we saw all those butterflies?

Oh, yeah, that was really cool.

Where do you think they were all going?

Probably the Grand Canyon.

That's where I would go if I could fly.

Hmm. How long ago was that?

Oh, I don't know.

A year?

More?

It's all starting to blur together.

Yeah, it is.

Guys! Shut up real quick.

- What? What's going on? - I said "shut up."

There's someone new in the neighborhood,

and she's moving into the house next door to you.

- Are you kidding? Really? - That's big news.

It's a lady.

She's old like you two,

but she seemed way cooler.

Wow, she sounds awesome.

Wait, how can you tell she's cooler than us?

I don't know. It was the way she closed the door.

We have to go say hi.

We have to welcome her to the neighborhood.

Yes, of course.

She probably has a ton of questions.

Come on. Should we get going?

- Mark, want to come? - No.

I don't really want her to associate you guys with me.

I'll meet her later.

I think she's home.

Oh.

Hi. - Hi.

Um, we just wanted to introduce ourselves.

I am June, and this is my husband, Oscar.

We're your new neighbors.

Yeah.

Okay. I'm Kase.

Oh, that's an interesting name.

Is that short for anything?

Kase...tina?

I don't... That's not a name.

No, it's not short for anything.

Well, look, we know it can be

kind of, um, a tough adjustment

- when you get here. - Mm-hmm.

You probably have some questions.

First piece of info is, you're dead.

Yeah, I got that.

Okay.

Great. Well...

- this is your house. - Mm-hmm.

Um...

we have a shuffleboard court.

And...

Jeez, honey, I'm really blanking.

What did you do when you were alive?

I worked for the government.

- Whoa. - Really?

Wow, doing what?

I'd rather not say.

Oh, well, you can say.

I mean, we're all dead now, so nothing's, like,

classified or anything.

What month were you born in?

- October. - Okay.

- Mm. - May.

Also May.

Listen, I've...I've...

I've got to get going.

- It was nice to meet you. - Okay. You too.

It was great to meet Kase. She's very interesting.

- I thought so too. - Yeah.

Okay, what do you think she did in the government?

Ooh, I don't know.

Maybe CIA or FBI.

Or Treasury.

Maybe she was an ambassador somewhere.

I mean, honestly, who knows what happened after we died?

She could have been the president.

Oh, I don't know.

She seemed like too much of a rebel to be president.

Yeah, that stuff doesn't play well

- in the heartland. - Mm-mm.

I think, earlier today, things went well.

I think she really liked us.

I think we could be really good friends.

Things went great. Um...

she was maybe a little abrupt.

You know, I am glad that you said that, because I agree,

but I feel like maybe she was just tired.

Well, of course she was tired.

It's a huge transition. It's a lot to take in.

Oh, my God, I just realized something.

We should have brought a gift.

- What were we thinking? - We obviously weren't.

Oprah says you should always bring a gift,

no matter the occasion.

Next time we go over,

we need to bring something.

Oh, absolutely.

When do you think that would be?

We have to give her some time. You know, maybe a couple days.

- Yeah, or maybe tomorrow. - Tomorrow's good.

Yeah, get up in the morning, get right over there.

- Great plan. - Yeah.

- I love you. - I love you too.

- Good morning. - Hi.

Can I help you?

Um, yeah, we just realized

we were so rude yesterday.

We didn't even bring you a housewarming gift,

so here you are.

Oscar's extra-special mac and cheese.

I make it with four kinds of cheese.

It's 8:00 in the morning.

Well,

no bad time for mac and cheese

is what I always say.

And, um, I made the bowl. I do pottery sometimes.

Hey, you're lucky to be getting this one.

It's one of our favorites.

We call it the James Dean bowl.

What?

'Cause it's the bad boy.

I don't know what you're talking about.

He's joking.

Yeah, I'm kind of a kook.

It is really good mac and cheese, though.

Okay. Thank you.

What was that?

Nothing.

Is everything okay in there?

Yeah, everything's fine. Listen, I gotta go.

Okay, cool. Well, see you around, girl.

And if you want to reheat that, you can set the oven...

She's gone.

That time, she was the one

who was a little off, not us.

Oh, absolutely.

We were very nice.

We were great. So nice.

Very neighborly.

I mean, I don't know what else we could've done.

- We brought a gift. - Yeah.

My mac and cheese.

Some people are just rude.

Or...

maybe she's just naturally shy.

- Uh-huh. - Some people are like that.

Introverts.

I bet that was good for her job at Treasury.

Yeah. Probably a numbers person.

Yeah, forensic...

- accounting, et cetera. - Yeah, uh-huh.

I mean, it's the accountants who took down Al Capone.

Wait, she's doing something.

She's holding the mac and cheese.

Oh, I guess she's gonna go out on the porch

and just enjoy it, you know, like, al fresco.

She dumped it out!

What? Oh, my God!

Why is she throwing out the bowl?

Fuck that.

That was one of my best ones.

It was James motherfucking Dean.

Come on, what's going on with her?

- Oh, and what is that noise? - I don't know.

All right, you know what?

- Forget it. We tried. - We tried.

This is on her.

This is not on us.

You know, you don't do that to people.

You don't do that to people.

I mean, look, is she cool and mysterious?

Yes, but it's no excuse.

Definitely.

You know what else? I'm sick of talking about her.

Ugh.

- You know? - Yeah.

Let's not waste our time.

Yeah, she doesn't deserve it.

I mean, who doesn't like mac and cheese?

It's a universal comfort food.

Everybody loves it.

My nephew Terence, he won't eat anything,

and he loves mac and cheese. He can't get enough of it.

Terence has a lot of problems, but hating

mac and cheese is not one of them.

I'm still caught up on the bowl issue.

Um, yeah, because it's crazy!

I mean, look, you don't like somebody's food, I get that.

But my bowl is really functional.

You could put anything in there.

Yeah, anything... chips,

pretzels, candy, fruit.

Anything.

Keys!

Grapes!

- What the fuck is that? - No idea.

What is she doing over there?

All my guesses are stupid. I don't want to share them.

Building a custom jukebox.

Oh, wait, it's a pattern.

Short. Short. Long.

Short.

Long. Never mind, it's nothing.

It's totally random.

I think I'm close on this one.

I think the theme is misspelled states.

Gosh, still nothing.

It's been over a week since we last saw her.

I feel like that's not normal.

You know, maybe she's in there and she needs our help.

She could have fallen in the shower or something.

Remember when my grandmother got stuck in that bidet?

I don't think that happened to Kase.

Should we just go over there and check on her?

- No. - I'm just talking about

going over there and ringing the doorbell.

Come on, you can finish that thing tomorrow.

If I go, can we finally be done with this?

Yes. I promise.

Come on. It'll take five minutes.

Go ahead. Knock.

I don't see anything.

Hmm.

Should I do it again? She might not have heard it.

- I don't see anything. - Okay, well, we tried.

Hello?

Hello?

I am entering the premises.

It's your neighbor June.

Don't be alarmed.

This is a mission of peace.

Shit.

Wh...what are you doing in here?

What are you doing here?

I go in everyone's houses when they're not home.

What? You do?

- Do you ever go in our house? - Yeah, all the time.

Well, what do you do in there?

Don't worry about it.

I got to say,

when I met you, I thought you kind of sucked.

You're boring. I don't like your voice.

But it's pretty cool that you're breaking

into people's houses.

I'm not breaking in.

I just wanted to make sure Kase was okay.

All right.

- Hey, you smoke pot? - What?

Do you smoke pot? It's not that hard a question.

Um, I guess. I used to.

Yeah, my friend Sharon had a card.

- A card? - Yeah, it's legal now.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No. It's pretty great.

Fuck!

I tried pot once, and I never got to do it again.

We actually call it weed now.

Damn, that's way cooler.

Hey, do you have any weed now?

No, sorry. I wish.

Bummer.

Listen, can you split? I got stuff to do in here.

Sure.

Oh, and, um, it's not a big deal,

but can you not tell Oscar about the weed thing?

I sort of kept that to myself.

No problem.

Secrets. What else are you hiding?

Nothing.

Okay.

Hey, Kase is back.

What?

Actually, I think she's coming here.

- She is? Why? - I don't know.

- Don't answer that. - What?

Hi.

Hey.

Did you break into my house?

No.

Definitely not.

That's crazy. We'd never do anything like that.

Really? Because Mark told me that June broke in.

Oh, that little shit.

Wait, did you actually break into her house?

I didn't break in. Her door was unlocked.

And I was just checking to make sure she was okay.

I was being a good neighbor.

Did you go through my stuff?

No, absolutely not.

Just so you know,

it is very obvious when you're lying.

Well, I didn't make you leave your door unlocked.

Mistakes were made on both sides.

Hey. We're very sorry.

There's no justification for what she did,

and we apologize.

Don't do it again.

We won't.

Fuckin' weirdos.

What were you thinking?

I don't know.

It just happened. Her door was open, and...

...and it was something to do.

"Something to do"? What does that mean?

It means that we do the same five things every day,

and at least this was a new thing.

Yeah, but breaking and entering can't be the new thing.

And I like the five things we do every day.

I like the things too.

Great, well, let's not bother with Kase anymore.

- For real this time. - Yes, I agree.

Okay, I'm gonna get dinner started.

We're having ceviche.

Hey.

Come here for a second.

What?

I need your help.

Grab this side.

- What? - Just...

What are we doing?

Just pick it up.

- Ready? - Oh.

Lift.

We're going out the back door.

- That way? - Yeah.

Oh. Ow, ow, ow.

Okay, two steps.

- I feel like I don't have... - Step.

...a grip on it.

Just...

Okay, turn it. Just...

Yeah.

That's good.

Okay, set it down.

Okay.

What are you doing?

- I'm gonna light it on fire. - What?

- Why? - 'Cause I hate it.

First I tried dragging it out to the curb.

Didn't work.

Then cut it up with a power saw.

That didn't work either.

What do you mean, "that didn't work"?

See? There it is.

Whoa.

How does that...

Wh...

Does it always come back?

Yep.

Thanks.

Sure.

So...

Are you ready to tell me the real reason you broke in here?

I-I swear I really was just checking on you.

I'm so sorry.

I would love to make it up to you.

We could have you over for dinner one night...

- Oh. - ...maybe or...

- What? - Just...

What? What's so funny?

You. You are funny.

What's funny about me?

You're dead.

I'm dead.

None of...none of this matters, and you're worried about

people being rude to each other, about apologies.

I saw a guy mowing his lawn the other day.

Why? Who gives a shit?

Is this guy gonna mow his lawn

every week, week in, week out,

forever? Is that the plan?

I don't know.

What else is there to do?

Who knows? We should be...

we should be trying something different.

We should be pushing the limits.

Exploring. Having orgies.

Well, I don't know if that's the answer.

My asshole ex-boyfriend back in college

talked me into a three-way one night.

Mm-hmm?

It's really not that great.

You end up waiting around a lot more than you think.

Obviously because he liked the other girl more than you.

Shit.

Do you really want to relive the same life

you had before you got here? Is that why we're here?

Were you happy before?

Yeah. I-I was happy.

Mm.

Most of the time. I mean...

I had Oscar. I had my friends.

It never rained where we lived. I don't...

Sounds like your life was like mine...

boring and shitty.

I lived in this boring, shitty town,

had this boring, shitty job

where I filed Medicaid papers for the government.

When I looked down the road and saw that Sparkletts truck

coming at me, part of me was relieved.

And now that I'm here,

whatever this is, I'm not gonna sleepwalk through it again.

I'm gonna do whatever I want.

Doesn't that make more sense than what you're doing?

I mean...

sure, I...

like to just go crazy.

Get drunk and smash shit with a baseball bat, but...

So why don't you? Why?

Why? Because that's just...

...not what people do.

Here's what I think.

I think that a happy, satisfied person,

which you claim to be,

doesn't go around breaking into people's homes

just to feel something.

I really was just checking on you.

Yeah.

You're a liar.

I got to get going.

Thanks...

for the beer.