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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:32,020 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:33,626 --> 00:00:36,428 So, stick with me here. 3 00:00:36,461 --> 00:00:39,398 I know y'all came to see a comedy about the Blacks, 4 00:00:39,431 --> 00:00:42,200 everyone's favorite family with the perfect daughter 5 00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:44,503 that somehow survived Terror Night. 6 00:00:46,471 --> 00:00:49,608 You didn't sign up to see some Egyptians open an evil box 7 00:00:49,642 --> 00:00:52,912 and a bat flap his ass across an Indiana Jones map. 8 00:00:52,945 --> 00:00:56,615 Trust me, it'll all make sense later. 9 00:00:56,649 --> 00:00:58,350 Well, since we last met, 10 00:00:58,383 --> 00:01:00,787 Dad wrote a bestseller based on Terror Night. 11 00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,789 But then Dad and Cronut blew that money 12 00:01:02,822 --> 00:01:05,457 faster than a rapper at a strip club. 13 00:01:05,490 --> 00:01:08,628 We're back in Atlanta. 14 00:01:08,661 --> 00:01:10,429 And Dad's writin' the sequel, 15 00:01:10,462 --> 00:01:12,799 and we were just getting used to being back home 16 00:01:12,832 --> 00:01:16,301 when this very bat flew into our lives. 17 00:01:16,334 --> 00:01:18,403 Seriously, pray for us, y'all. 18 00:02:05,852 --> 00:02:07,787 We're back on the GGN News Network. 19 00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,555 I'm your host with the most, Finding Nemo, aka Nemo Hoser. 20 00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,892 Today on my show, I got a very special guest, 21 00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:17,429 the one and only, the author Carl Black in the motherfucking house. 22 00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:18,765 Mr. Black, what's happening? 23 00:02:18,798 --> 00:02:20,532 Snoop! How are you, man? 24 00:02:20,565 --> 00:02:22,300 I'm good, Carl. How you doin' today, brother? 25 00:02:22,334 --> 00:02:23,602 I'm excited, man. 26 00:02:23,636 --> 00:02:25,370 I got this new book coming out. 27 00:02:25,403 --> 00:02:27,740 It's called Terror Night. Mm. I wrote it. 28 00:02:27,774 --> 00:02:28,741 It's from my heart. 29 00:02:28,775 --> 00:02:30,076 This is my baby. 30 00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,944 What makes this book a great read 31 00:02:31,978 --> 00:02:33,846 for the average nigga sitting at home doing nothing? 32 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:38,017 You know, most Black people know about terror. 33 00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:39,719 Mr. Black, I'm forced to tell you the truth. 34 00:02:39,752 --> 00:02:41,888 It is an easy read. Real easy. 35 00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,555 What you mean by that? 36 00:02:43,588 --> 00:02:46,025 "There was a Black man that..." 37 00:02:46,058 --> 00:02:47,794 That's bullshit, Snoop. 38 00:02:47,827 --> 00:02:49,494 Go get my book. It's called Terror Night. 39 00:02:51,664 --> 00:02:53,365 All right. All right. All right. That's enough Terror Night. 40 00:02:53,398 --> 00:02:54,934 All right. All right. All right. Thank you. 41 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,936 Now we got a real guest coming up on the show. 42 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,038 Make some noise for the one and only Matt Barnes. 43 00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:00,940 Snoop, what's going on, man? Thanks for having me. 44 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,374 Matt! 45 00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:04,010 - Who's that? - Terror Night. 46 00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:06,578 - Ah, this is Carl Black. - This book is j... Carl Black, man. 47 00:03:06,611 --> 00:03:08,547 You know me. I wrote Terror Night. 48 00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,049 - You read that book? - The book is crazy. 49 00:03:10,082 --> 00:03:11,651 You're gonna love it, man. And... 50 00:03:11,684 --> 00:03:13,019 That book was terrible. 51 00:03:13,052 --> 00:03:15,353 One of the worst books I ever read. 52 00:03:15,387 --> 00:03:16,956 You must be havin' a bad day today. It's a good book, man. 53 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,691 - Nah. It's just a bad book. - Hey, you should... 54 00:03:18,724 --> 00:03:20,760 - Fuck you. - Fuck you and that book. 55 00:03:20,793 --> 00:03:22,929 I'm gonna get the fucking fuck. 56 00:03:24,429 --> 00:03:25,698 That nigga's excited. 57 00:03:41,814 --> 00:03:44,449 Okay. Just don't. Here. 58 00:04:09,175 --> 00:04:10,076 Hey. 59 00:04:11,443 --> 00:04:12,444 Hey! 60 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,781 Hey! 61 00:04:15,815 --> 00:04:17,049 What are you doin'? 62 00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:18,818 We're practicing for the Migos' tour. 63 00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:20,653 The streets need us. 64 00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:22,054 The streets don't need yo ass. 65 00:04:22,088 --> 00:04:24,724 And stop makin' all that damn noise. 66 00:04:24,757 --> 00:04:26,524 - Frickin' old guys! - And stop playing! 67 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,592 Again from the top. Ready? 68 00:04:29,494 --> 00:04:30,830 I'm gonna kick your ass. 69 00:04:30,863 --> 00:04:32,698 Give me the phone! Cut if off! 70 00:04:32,732 --> 00:04:34,934 - Dad, come on. - Cut it off! I'm trying to write. 71 00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:36,869 You messed it up again! I bet... 72 00:04:39,138 --> 00:04:40,472 Go. 73 00:04:40,505 --> 00:04:42,141 Daddy, get out! 74 00:04:42,174 --> 00:04:43,943 - Out. - Hey! Girl, you better stop throwin' shit. 75 00:04:43,976 --> 00:04:46,478 - Go! Shut up! - I peed in that bed last night. 76 00:04:57,555 --> 00:04:59,524 You know, I didn't escape the Purge 77 00:04:59,557 --> 00:05:02,662 so somebody would be breakin' in my fuckin' house! 78 00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:19,178 Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Man, come on, bro. 79 00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:21,847 - What's wrong with you? - Come on, bro. 80 00:05:21,881 --> 00:05:24,750 - Goddamn! - What's wrong with you? 81 00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,786 Goddamn. Why are you so jumpy? 82 00:05:26,819 --> 00:05:29,521 Yeah, 'cause maybe somebody tried to break in my house and kill me before. 83 00:05:29,554 --> 00:05:31,556 What you doin' creepin' around my house this late at night? 84 00:05:31,589 --> 00:05:33,893 The lights in the RV went out. I had to get some flashlights. 85 00:05:33,926 --> 00:05:36,062 - Some flashlights? - Not just flashlight. 86 00:05:36,095 --> 00:05:37,997 Purge lights! You feel me? 87 00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:39,999 You know about these. Did I tell you about 'em? 88 00:05:40,032 --> 00:05:42,068 You don't need no battery. That means you crank it right up. 89 00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:43,703 - Just like this. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, man. 90 00:05:43,736 --> 00:05:45,004 - What? What? - Hey, hey. 91 00:05:45,037 --> 00:05:47,605 Get rid of that janky shit! Stop orderin' it. 92 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,709 Y'all run around here ballin' and spendin' money, 93 00:05:49,742 --> 00:05:52,111 leavin' the lights on, runnin' water, 94 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,579 like there's money growin' on the tree. 95 00:05:54,612 --> 00:05:56,882 - I don't have no more money. - 'Cause you ain't selling no goddamn books. 96 00:05:56,916 --> 00:05:59,852 If you sell some goddamn books, we can goddamn sell these bitches. 97 00:05:59,885 --> 00:06:03,022 - And why're you broke? Huh? - Get your ass out of here. 98 00:06:03,055 --> 00:06:04,156 Hey, man. What the fuck, man? 99 00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:06,926 Stop holding me like a side bitch. 100 00:06:06,959 --> 00:06:09,028 - What's you tripping off of? - This is the reason right here. 101 00:06:09,061 --> 00:06:12,798 'Cause I can't imagine why I let you talk me 102 00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,834 into spending my money on this shit. 103 00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:16,534 It's all part of the business plan, cuz. 104 00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:18,170 No, no, no. The business plan 105 00:06:18,204 --> 00:06:19,839 is the reason why Lorena is out 106 00:06:19,872 --> 00:06:22,775 busting her ass to wipe my old ass. 107 00:06:22,808 --> 00:06:24,176 Don't nobody want to hear about me 108 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:26,212 moving back into my old neighborhood 109 00:06:26,245 --> 00:06:28,613 while my cousin livin' in an RV in the back of my house. 110 00:06:30,716 --> 00:06:32,818 What the fuck is going on over there, man? 111 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:34,687 Some crackheads. 112 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,122 Next door at the old Marsten house. 113 00:06:36,155 --> 00:06:38,257 They must be squattin' or somethin'. 114 00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,792 - Don't forget the... - Nah. They live there. 115 00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:42,028 I seen 'em move in, but the crazy part is 116 00:06:42,061 --> 00:06:44,263 all the windows are boarded. 117 00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:46,799 They only come out at nighttime. 118 00:06:46,832 --> 00:06:48,801 Yeah. Who would move in a place 119 00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:50,803 with a house that's boarded up like that? 120 00:06:50,836 --> 00:06:52,171 And when did they move in? 121 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,806 Yeah. They got in like a week ago. 122 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,274 - What the fuck? - Snitch, Snitch, 123 00:06:55,307 --> 00:06:57,109 - where you at? - Yeah. I watched 'em do it. 124 00:06:57,143 --> 00:06:59,178 They moved in, man. 125 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,247 I see everything. 126 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,983 I know you with the neighborhood watch and everything, but man... 127 00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:06,052 it's getting a little creepy, man. 128 00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:08,220 All right, ladies, in we go. Your coupe is here. 129 00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:10,122 - Did you hear that? - Shhh... 130 00:07:10,156 --> 00:07:11,757 That's some crazy shit. 131 00:07:19,198 --> 00:07:22,802 Somethin' strange goin' on in that house. 132 00:07:30,209 --> 00:07:31,343 I'm gone. 133 00:07:41,654 --> 00:07:44,857 You will be mine... 134 00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:46,959 unconditionally. 135 00:07:56,368 --> 00:07:59,004 Baby, I think some new people just moved in next door. 136 00:07:59,038 --> 00:08:01,974 Oh, baby. Leave those people alone, babe. 137 00:08:02,007 --> 00:08:04,176 Go back to sleep. 138 00:08:21,927 --> 00:08:23,796 This refrigerator's filthy! 139 00:08:25,764 --> 00:08:27,833 - Appreciate shit. - Ahem. 140 00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:30,436 What are you doing here, Cronut? 141 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,071 I had to get some milk for my cereal. 142 00:08:32,104 --> 00:08:34,306 I ran out in the RV. 143 00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:36,242 The door's locked for a reason. 144 00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:37,810 Who messed up that damn toilet? 145 00:08:37,843 --> 00:08:39,745 Hey, what the fuck you doin' in here? 146 00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:41,413 Eating breakfast. What it look like I'm doin'? 147 00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:42,982 You ain't supposed to be here in the mornings. 148 00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:44,316 You told me I could come in on Tuesdays. 149 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:45,684 I'm about sick of your shit. 150 00:08:45,718 --> 00:08:47,720 It's light wheat. 151 00:08:47,753 --> 00:08:49,421 Stay out of the toilet. 152 00:08:49,455 --> 00:08:51,357 You know there's a serial killer living next door. 153 00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,726 God, this boy run his damn mouth too much. 154 00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:56,829 Hey, Carl, Carl. Check this shit out, bro. 155 00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:58,764 ...the death of Chante Webster. 156 00:08:58,797 --> 00:09:02,101 Her badly mutilated corpse was found inside a dumpster 157 00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:06,238 behind Gus's Chicken and Waffles on Indian Hill Road. 158 00:09:06,272 --> 00:09:07,940 They found that body right around the corner. 159 00:09:07,973 --> 00:09:09,708 This is the sixth incident 160 00:09:09,742 --> 00:09:12,778 in a vicious string of kidnapping and murders, 161 00:09:12,811 --> 00:09:17,216 all of which were either African-American or Mexican. 162 00:09:17,249 --> 00:09:19,952 Racially motivated? Perhaps. 163 00:09:19,985 --> 00:09:22,855 This is exactly why we need to move out of this neighborhood. 164 00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:24,857 - Move? Again? - Yes, move. 165 00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,759 And when we say "move," 166 00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:29,128 - that means us. - Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 167 00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:30,963 Uh, hey... hey. No thinkin' for you, okay? 168 00:09:30,996 --> 00:09:32,364 What about what we saw last night? 169 00:09:32,398 --> 00:09:34,400 Okay, I don't have time for this, Carl. 170 00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,835 I got to go to work. I'm going to be working a double tonight, 171 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,270 so you're on your own for dinner. 172 00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:41,173 What about what we seen with the neighbors, bro? 173 00:09:43,309 --> 00:09:44,743 You better do what she say. 174 00:09:44,777 --> 00:09:45,878 Fuck you up. 175 00:09:45,911 --> 00:09:47,379 She payin' the bills around here. 176 00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:50,316 Hey, babe. Don't pay no attention to Cronut. 177 00:09:50,349 --> 00:09:52,017 He's just a dumbass. 178 00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:54,053 He's a neglected Chihuahua. 179 00:09:54,086 --> 00:09:55,788 Carl, I'm not happy here. 180 00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:58,023 - Listen... - This was supposed to be temporary, Carl. 181 00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:00,025 We were supposed to be here until you got 182 00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:01,360 - your money going. - Money. 183 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,096 - You wrote your book. - It's gonna work. 184 00:10:04,129 --> 00:10:06,432 That developer came around again other day. 185 00:10:06,465 --> 00:10:09,835 He can make us a really good offer on your mom's house. 186 00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:11,870 We can move to a safer place. 187 00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:14,974 I can be happy. Happy wife, happy what? 188 00:10:15,007 --> 00:10:17,142 - Happy wife. - Happy life. 189 00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:19,278 The guy's a fuckin' vulture. Okay? 190 00:10:19,311 --> 00:10:21,080 He wants to move in this neighborhood 191 00:10:21,113 --> 00:10:23,849 so he can take it over and turn it into a fuckin' strip mall. 192 00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:26,018 Do you understand what I'm sayin'? Okay? 193 00:10:26,051 --> 00:10:27,820 It's called... it's called gingivitis. 194 00:10:27,853 --> 00:10:29,221 Gentrification! 195 00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:30,256 Shut up, Cronut! 196 00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:32,391 Stupid dumbass nigga. 197 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,493 Once we move out of here, who cares what they do to the neighborhood? 198 00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:37,496 Just promise me that today you're going to look at this and consider it. 199 00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:39,298 I'm... I'm gonna think about it. 200 00:10:39,331 --> 00:10:41,200 I appreciate it. 201 00:10:41,233 --> 00:10:44,803 Up next, I survived a hammer to the head 202 00:10:44,837 --> 00:10:47,306 and a boot to the face. 203 00:10:47,339 --> 00:10:49,441 Somethin' fucked-up went down in that house last night. 204 00:10:49,475 --> 00:10:50,843 You think that was a dead body? 205 00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:52,911 Would you stop? It's already hard enough 206 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,381 you got all this crazy shit in my wife's head. 207 00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:58,517 And no! I did not see a body. 208 00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:01,253 I think my first instinct is like, there's dead body in there. 209 00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:03,956 But... Oh, there's a nice one over there. 210 00:11:17,236 --> 00:11:18,237 No. 211 00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:24,076 Hey, hey, hey! No! 212 00:11:24,109 --> 00:11:25,944 Why you cock-blocking? She need me. 213 00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,846 This could be my old lady, man. 214 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,316 - She's already married. - You know I've been in the penitentiary. 215 00:11:30,349 --> 00:11:31,984 - Let me just live, brother. - Okay. 216 00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:34,386 You've been to prison two years ago for 10 days 217 00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:35,988 for drinkin' and drivin'. 218 00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:38,023 And you're a "gangster drinker." 219 00:11:38,057 --> 00:11:40,159 I'm just gonna go over there and just... just rap a tad to her. 220 00:11:40,192 --> 00:11:41,593 - I'm gonna go. What's up, baby? - Cronut. 221 00:11:43,462 --> 00:11:46,532 He about to shoot that midget sperm in that girl. 222 00:11:46,565 --> 00:11:48,434 Bunny! Shit. 223 00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,536 Baby, I told you, you got to get a new wheelchair. 224 00:11:50,569 --> 00:11:52,171 - You got new wheelchair money? - Ugh! 225 00:11:53,605 --> 00:11:55,240 - I'm sorry, Bunny. - It's okay. 226 00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:56,875 I didn't mean to snap at you. 227 00:11:56,909 --> 00:11:58,377 If my penis worked, I'd make love to you right now. 228 00:11:58,410 --> 00:12:00,212 - I'd hit it from the back. - I know you would. 229 00:12:00,245 --> 00:12:02,448 Marky Mark style from Boogie Nights. 230 00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:04,516 Hey! Stay off my property! 231 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,051 What's up, Clive? 232 00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:07,386 Shouldn't you be makin' up some bullshit 233 00:12:07,419 --> 00:12:09,054 or whatever else you do you call work? 234 00:12:10,122 --> 00:12:13,292 You know my husband don't like you guys comin' over here. 235 00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:14,560 But I like seein' you guys. 236 00:12:14,593 --> 00:12:16,128 What you been up to? 237 00:12:16,161 --> 00:12:17,563 You been rollin' around this neighborhood 238 00:12:17,596 --> 00:12:20,466 or you just being kickin' it around? 239 00:12:20,499 --> 00:12:22,601 - Funny, motherfucker! - Kickin' it! 240 00:12:22,635 --> 00:12:25,003 What are you doing, writin' your next bestseller? 241 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:27,473 Who're you trying to be? New Alex Haley? 242 00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:31,343 Steve Harvey? You gonna try to make a book into a movie? 243 00:12:31,377 --> 00:12:33,345 You see Think Like a Man? Think Like a Man 2? 244 00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:34,279 Sucked! 245 00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:37,583 Pootie Tang blew those two out the water. 246 00:12:37,616 --> 00:12:39,385 Okay, yeah, I'm writin' a book. 247 00:12:39,418 --> 00:12:41,954 When is your next marathon, huh? 248 00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:44,323 You gonna help me tend to my garden? 249 00:12:44,356 --> 00:12:46,392 I'll tend the shit out of that garden. 250 00:12:46,425 --> 00:12:48,994 Tend more than the garden. I will bend you over in there. I mean... 251 00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:50,229 So, I have carrots. 252 00:12:50,262 --> 00:12:52,297 I got a carrot. With a fat head. 253 00:12:52,331 --> 00:12:53,666 What's up with that house right there? 254 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,968 What's up with them people that live in there? 255 00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,705 I know you can't see with them thick-ass glasses. 256 00:12:58,738 --> 00:13:00,072 You know what these eyes have seen? 257 00:13:00,105 --> 00:13:01,140 Yeah, these nuts. 258 00:13:01,173 --> 00:13:02,574 I've been in three wars. 259 00:13:02,608 --> 00:13:04,476 - How you think I got Bunny? - The government. 260 00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:06,512 That little check you get every month, she's takin' it. 261 00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:08,614 - I saw into her soul. - Damn. 262 00:13:08,648 --> 00:13:11,250 I see that little man right there with the 8th-grade body talkin' to my wife. 263 00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:12,317 You don't think I see that? 264 00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:13,452 I saw you catch gonorrhea, baby... 265 00:13:13,485 --> 00:13:14,721 You better watch your fuckin' mouth! 266 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:16,388 - Watch your mouth, man! - I wish you would. 267 00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,190 I wish you... I've been waiting on this. 268 00:13:18,223 --> 00:13:19,992 Why would you kick me in the leg 269 00:13:20,025 --> 00:13:22,428 - where I can't feel it? - I know you can't... can't feel it. 270 00:13:22,461 --> 00:13:24,596 Come on. You ain't the first Black guy I got in a fight with. 271 00:13:24,631 --> 00:13:26,733 I can't feel my legs, Carl. Hit me in the face. 272 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,301 You little bitch. 273 00:13:29,334 --> 00:13:31,203 All day, every day. 274 00:13:31,236 --> 00:13:34,139 Listen, man. Somethin' ain't right at that house, Carl. 275 00:13:34,173 --> 00:13:35,507 They moved in the middle of night. 276 00:13:35,541 --> 00:13:37,744 There's never any movement during the day. 277 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,746 - Yeah. - Lazy shits won't answer the door, 278 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:41,046 had a package dropped off. 279 00:13:41,079 --> 00:13:42,981 Mailman brought it over to me, 280 00:13:43,015 --> 00:13:45,117 sittin' on the front porch right now. 281 00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:48,187 Hey, Bunny! Come get that package from Africa! 282 00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,488 Hey, Bunny! 283 00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:51,290 Get that package over there on the back porch. 284 00:13:51,323 --> 00:13:53,058 - I wouldn't. I wouldn't. - You might get on... 285 00:13:53,091 --> 00:13:54,526 - You feel that, Carl? - Okay. Let my arm go. 286 00:13:56,361 --> 00:13:57,630 - Let my arm go. - Let my cousin... aw! 287 00:13:57,664 --> 00:13:58,731 - It fucking hurts. - Hey. 288 00:13:58,765 --> 00:14:00,733 Let it go! That shit hurt. 289 00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:03,135 Dang, you got some upper body strength. 290 00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:05,204 There it is. Look at that... Africa. 291 00:14:05,237 --> 00:14:07,206 Africa. Wrapped in velvet. 292 00:14:16,381 --> 00:14:18,283 I'm gonna take it over there myself. 293 00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:20,720 Cronut... Cronut! 294 00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:22,722 Why you give him the fuckin' package?! 295 00:14:22,755 --> 00:14:26,258 It's like we're living across the street from Diff'rent Strokes. 296 00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:28,560 - Hey, hey, hey. Give me the package, man. - What the shit? 297 00:14:28,594 --> 00:14:29,995 Cronut! 298 00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,499 See? You happy? 299 00:14:35,601 --> 00:14:37,704 You got me runnin' around here, fightin' motherfuckers and shit... 300 00:14:37,737 --> 00:14:41,373 - I can't do this, man. - Fuck this, I gotta find out. 301 00:14:41,406 --> 00:14:44,510 - Hey, hey, hey... - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey my ass. 302 00:14:44,543 --> 00:14:45,645 Get it. Get it. 303 00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:05,665 What can I do to... I mean, for you, gentlemen? 304 00:15:05,698 --> 00:15:07,299 Nigga, we saw you transporting dead bodies last night. 305 00:15:07,332 --> 00:15:09,434 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man. Shut the fuck up. 306 00:15:09,468 --> 00:15:10,770 We did. 307 00:15:10,803 --> 00:15:13,405 You not see me transport any dead bodies. 308 00:15:13,438 --> 00:15:16,208 We standin' in front of a chocolate vampire-type nigga. 309 00:15:16,241 --> 00:15:19,611 Sir, and this my little cousin, Cronut, he's a little retarded. 310 00:15:19,646 --> 00:15:21,748 - Slow as fuck. - He needs special attention. 311 00:15:21,781 --> 00:15:24,516 - He's on Ritalin, prednisone, and all kind of shit. - Everything. 312 00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:27,119 This is Dr. Mamuwalde's residence. 313 00:15:27,152 --> 00:15:29,254 Mama... Mama who? 314 00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:30,489 Ma-mu-wal-day. 315 00:15:30,522 --> 00:15:32,524 - How you pronounce that? - Ma-mu-wal-day. 316 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,526 Mamuwal... 317 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,862 Ma-mu-wal-day. 318 00:15:35,895 --> 00:15:38,765 - Ma-mu-wal-day. - Ma-mwa-wal-di. 319 00:15:38,798 --> 00:15:40,365 - Ma-mu-wal-day. - Ma-mwa-wal-di. 320 00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:41,734 - Ma-mu-wal-day. - Ma-mwa-wal-di. 321 00:15:41,768 --> 00:15:43,135 - Fix your mouth. - All right, all right. 322 00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:44,771 - Excuse me. - Your mama, nigga. 323 00:15:44,804 --> 00:15:47,707 I am Monty. I just rent a room here. 324 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:51,109 And I assure you, you have seen no bodies. 325 00:15:51,143 --> 00:15:52,779 Pleasure to make your acquaintance. 326 00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:55,213 Nigga, we saw you transport them goddamn dead bodies in the back. 327 00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:57,583 - If you don't shut the fuck... - Where you from, bro? 328 00:15:57,616 --> 00:16:00,218 - Hey, man, stop! Sir... - What? 329 00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:02,521 Mr. Black, do you have business here? 330 00:16:02,554 --> 00:16:05,223 No. I don't have no business here. We just wanted to come through and say hey 331 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,826 and make sure everything was cool. 332 00:16:06,859 --> 00:16:08,493 Why wouldn't it be cool? 333 00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:11,664 - Excuse me? - Why wouldn't it be? 334 00:16:11,698 --> 00:16:15,668 Because y'all moving in this motherfucking house at 12:00 at night. 335 00:16:15,702 --> 00:16:17,704 There's people sleeping around here. 336 00:16:17,737 --> 00:16:21,573 You got crackheads back there sunbathing into fucking midnight. 337 00:16:23,575 --> 00:16:25,377 Bye, bitch! 338 00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:27,579 Hey, come on. Get your ass... 339 00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,851 I'm gonna drop a dime on you motherfuckers. 340 00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:35,253 You happy you done made me waste a whole day on some bullshit? 341 00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,222 - Hey, man. Just fall back. - Fall back for what? 342 00:16:37,255 --> 00:16:38,357 What you got to say now? 343 00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:39,759 You don't think that shit weird? 344 00:16:40,927 --> 00:16:42,527 How'd he know your last name? 345 00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:44,631 I'm a famous writer, Cronut. 346 00:16:44,664 --> 00:16:46,164 This nigga delusional. 347 00:16:46,198 --> 00:16:48,835 My book is in-in-in Barnes and Noble's. 348 00:16:48,868 --> 00:16:52,639 Nigga! Ain't nobody reading your books! Retire! 349 00:16:52,672 --> 00:16:54,674 Look, you're running around here smoking that weed, 350 00:16:54,707 --> 00:16:57,744 you're paranoid, you're smoking 2K, K2, 351 00:16:57,777 --> 00:16:59,211 or whatever the fuck you doing... 352 00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:00,880 First of all, I'm not smoking K2. 353 00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,649 I'm smoking strictly weed. 354 00:17:02,682 --> 00:17:04,616 And second of all, something ain't right about that house, 355 00:17:04,651 --> 00:17:08,420 because boy was from Africa, but he had a French accent. 356 00:17:08,453 --> 00:17:11,323 He got a sideburn that curl up, like the devil. 357 00:17:11,356 --> 00:17:13,793 I'm thinking, man. You? We got to get to the bottom of it. 358 00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:16,528 We not getting to the bottom of shit. 359 00:17:16,561 --> 00:17:18,597 Well, you write your book. I'll just be a detective. 360 00:17:18,631 --> 00:17:19,966 A detective for what? 361 00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:24,971 Africa, Carl. Africa. Are you listening to me? 362 00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,706 Southwest don't go to Africa. 363 00:17:26,739 --> 00:17:28,440 You won't help me do shit. 364 00:17:28,473 --> 00:17:30,475 I'm trying to marry this man wife, 365 00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,277 I'm trying to tell you about these devil worshippers over here 366 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:33,913 and your book suck. How about that? 367 00:17:37,582 --> 00:17:39,618 Shady Management. 368 00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:40,920 Leave a message. 369 00:17:40,953 --> 00:17:43,455 Hey, it's Carl Black. Just calling you again, 370 00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:46,693 just lettin' you know that I'm writing away. 371 00:17:46,726 --> 00:17:48,460 I need that advancement. 372 00:17:48,493 --> 00:17:51,664 The water bill's due, we need bread, dishwash li... 373 00:17:55,635 --> 00:17:57,003 Do you know who I am? 374 00:17:57,036 --> 00:18:01,007 I am Wooky. The one that survived the Purge. 375 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,842 I can help you survive your problem. 376 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,310 Are you being bullied? Do you hear noises at night? 377 00:18:05,343 --> 00:18:06,611 Phone me. 378 00:18:06,646 --> 00:18:08,014 Are you sick? Do you have a headache? 379 00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:11,283 Are you hearing things? Malaria? Ebola? 380 00:18:11,316 --> 00:18:12,719 Demon experience? 381 00:18:12,752 --> 00:18:14,987 Call me. Whisper to me. 382 00:18:15,021 --> 00:18:17,657 I will fight your battles for you today. 383 00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:20,492 I am Wooky. 384 00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:23,029 Ain't nobody go for that bullshit. 385 00:18:26,632 --> 00:18:28,968 All right, yeah. Shit. 386 00:18:34,006 --> 00:18:35,842 Allie Black. 387 00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:38,644 Yes, Daddy? Yes? 388 00:18:38,678 --> 00:18:40,445 - What you doing? - I'm studying. 389 00:18:40,479 --> 00:18:41,748 - You're studying. - Yes. 390 00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:43,381 Yeah. I thought you was home for fall? 391 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,383 Doesn't mean I still don't have to study, Dad. 392 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:48,386 You know our family have been going through a lot of stuff, 393 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,057 and you don't like to follow the rules all the time, 394 00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:53,425 'cause I've been asked you a whole bunch of times 395 00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:55,393 to keep these little boys out of my... 396 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,362 - Daddy, I can explain... - Ah! What the hell is wrong with you? 397 00:18:57,395 --> 00:18:58,631 I know a lot of gang shit. You know... 398 00:18:58,664 --> 00:18:59,932 I thought he was dead! 399 00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:02,367 No, bitch. Dying's for pussies. 400 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,837 I told you to keep these little boys out of this house. 401 00:19:04,871 --> 00:19:06,973 I sent you to school for a education... 402 00:19:07,006 --> 00:19:09,075 - I had to drop out, okay? - You dropped out? 403 00:19:09,108 --> 00:19:11,476 We dropped out. A couple goes... 404 00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:14,013 You and him about to be living off that little cripple check every month. 405 00:19:14,046 --> 00:19:16,015 - Baby, give me my cane. I'm out. - Okay. 406 00:19:16,048 --> 00:19:17,850 Yeah, this don't make no sense. 407 00:19:17,884 --> 00:19:19,551 I don't know what you going through, Allie. 408 00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:21,788 Daddy, Daddy. Just... just leave him alone, okay? 409 00:19:21,821 --> 00:19:23,488 If you're gonna do somethin', do somethin'. 410 00:19:23,522 --> 00:19:24,724 It's already done. 411 00:19:24,757 --> 00:19:26,491 If you're gonna do somethin', do somethin'. 412 00:19:26,525 --> 00:19:27,894 Freezee! 413 00:19:27,927 --> 00:19:29,361 Daddy, why'd you do that? 414 00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:30,495 I didn't even touch him. 415 00:19:30,529 --> 00:19:31,798 That's all right. You got it, baby? 416 00:19:31,831 --> 00:19:33,065 Come on. Help his arm. Get his arm right there. 417 00:19:33,099 --> 00:19:35,034 Hey, I don't need your help! I'm in the ADA. 418 00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,568 Baby, you do need help. 419 00:19:36,601 --> 00:19:38,004 - All right. - You need some help, okay? 420 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,539 Yeah. Lift him up. One, two, three. 421 00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:43,910 Fuck you! Ain't nobody need your assistance. 422 00:19:43,943 --> 00:19:45,711 Baby, go start the car, okay? 423 00:19:45,745 --> 00:19:47,647 - All right. - We'll be out of here in a second. 424 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,115 I'm gonna let you know one thing. My dick may not work, 425 00:19:49,148 --> 00:19:52,051 but my tongue game's strong on your girl. 426 00:19:52,084 --> 00:19:53,686 Okay. Baby, go. 427 00:19:53,719 --> 00:19:54,954 Ask him for some gas money, baby. 428 00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:57,422 I will. I'll ask him for some. Okay. 429 00:19:57,455 --> 00:19:58,925 Oh, thank God. 430 00:19:58,958 --> 00:20:00,893 But why don't you get somebody that can walk? 431 00:20:00,927 --> 00:20:02,427 I ain't helping. 432 00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:04,396 Daddy, listen. Okay, I had to drop out 433 00:20:04,429 --> 00:20:06,464 because your check bounced. 434 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,533 And you would know that if you cared about anybody in this family 435 00:20:08,567 --> 00:20:10,569 except yourself and that damn book. 436 00:20:10,602 --> 00:20:13,039 He loves me. 437 00:20:15,473 --> 00:20:17,442 He only cares about himself. He's so selfish. 438 00:20:17,475 --> 00:20:19,011 Allie! 439 00:20:22,815 --> 00:20:24,083 Allie! 440 00:20:24,116 --> 00:20:25,651 Allie! 441 00:20:30,122 --> 00:20:32,992 Ekekek. Ekekek. 442 00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:34,727 Psst! Ekekek. 443 00:20:36,595 --> 00:20:38,798 Carl, come here. 444 00:20:38,831 --> 00:20:39,999 You gotta see this shit. 445 00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:41,634 Get over where? How do I get over there? 446 00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:42,869 Hop over, man. 447 00:20:45,004 --> 00:20:47,640 No, no, for real. For real. Come here. 448 00:20:47,673 --> 00:20:49,876 - What the fuck are you doing? - Calm down. Calm down. 449 00:20:49,909 --> 00:20:52,044 Check that. Shit! 450 00:20:56,481 --> 00:20:57,950 Is that Michael Jackson? 451 00:20:57,984 --> 00:20:59,852 Where's the box from Africa? 452 00:20:59,886 --> 00:21:01,419 - That's so weird. - Hey! Hey, man! 453 00:21:01,453 --> 00:21:02,955 Hey, man, don't do that! 454 00:21:02,989 --> 00:21:04,991 Why are you always creeping up on people, man? 455 00:21:05,024 --> 00:21:07,627 - Don't do that. - That's what I do. I creep. 456 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,062 - Look, look. - Find it. 457 00:21:11,297 --> 00:21:14,100 They just moved into the house and people are already coming over. 458 00:21:17,169 --> 00:21:19,739 Goddamn. She got a big 'ol ass. 459 00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,442 Hello. I'm here for Dr. Mamuwalde. 460 00:21:33,219 --> 00:21:34,854 Something ain't right. 461 00:21:34,887 --> 00:21:36,088 I'mma tell you something. 462 00:21:36,122 --> 00:21:39,158 Leave them goddamn neighbors alone. 463 00:21:39,191 --> 00:21:42,695 - Leave them alone! I'm out of here. - Look. 464 00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:43,896 I think you made him mad. 465 00:21:43,930 --> 00:21:45,965 He's always mad at me. Don't even trip. 466 00:21:45,998 --> 00:21:48,067 She ain't coming back out of there. I told you, once you go in there, 467 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:50,169 you ain't coming out, especially if you're fine. 468 00:21:50,202 --> 00:21:52,939 All the ugly bitches came right out, but this coochie? 469 00:21:52,972 --> 00:21:55,207 I'm going in. 470 00:21:55,241 --> 00:21:56,909 I'm neighborhood watch. 471 00:22:01,213 --> 00:22:02,882 Yeah. You go right on in there. 472 00:22:02,915 --> 00:22:05,084 I trust you. 473 00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:06,786 Snitch, Snitch, come in. 474 00:22:10,588 --> 00:22:11,958 What can I do for you? 475 00:22:11,991 --> 00:22:14,260 I'm neighborhood watch. I need to get in this house. 476 00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:17,830 Well then, please, come in, Mr. Neighborhood Watch. 477 00:22:17,863 --> 00:22:19,597 You're very welcome here. 478 00:22:26,238 --> 00:22:28,774 Cronut, what the fuck are you doing? 479 00:22:28,808 --> 00:22:29,775 Shhh! 480 00:22:32,778 --> 00:22:35,114 Why are you looking in their window? 481 00:22:35,147 --> 00:22:36,649 Get out of them people's house. 482 00:22:38,550 --> 00:22:40,086 What you see? 483 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:41,754 Well, first of all, this house looks amazing on the inside, 484 00:22:41,787 --> 00:22:44,890 but they're doing some freaky shit for real. 485 00:22:44,924 --> 00:22:48,761 What? What's he doing? 486 00:22:51,931 --> 00:22:55,533 Cronut! What's going on? 487 00:22:55,567 --> 00:22:58,037 - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - What? What? What? 488 00:22:58,070 --> 00:23:00,673 - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - What? What? 489 00:23:00,706 --> 00:23:02,141 Go, go. 490 00:23:04,576 --> 00:23:07,880 - Oh, shit. - Why we running, man? 491 00:23:07,913 --> 00:23:10,783 - Hey, ¿qué pasó? - OG. Hugo. 492 00:23:10,816 --> 00:23:12,685 There's vampires, man. There's vampires. 493 00:23:12,718 --> 00:23:13,986 Re... relax. Ain't no... 494 00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:16,956 The vampire feeds on blood. 495 00:23:16,989 --> 00:23:20,793 But what he really wants 496 00:23:20,826 --> 00:23:23,295 is to find the things that you love most 497 00:23:23,329 --> 00:23:25,530 and twist you... 498 00:23:26,866 --> 00:23:30,535 and torment you every day of your life. 499 00:23:32,705 --> 00:23:34,707 You're a dark motherfucker. 500 00:23:34,740 --> 00:23:37,276 You've been saying some crazy shit back here in this backyard. 501 00:23:37,309 --> 00:23:39,078 So what should we do, OG? 502 00:23:39,111 --> 00:23:41,047 Find out what he wants. 503 00:23:42,982 --> 00:23:46,285 Find out what he's doing in our neighborhood. 504 00:23:46,318 --> 00:23:47,853 Think about it. 505 00:23:47,887 --> 00:23:49,722 We ain't never seen Dr. Mamuwalde in the daytime. 506 00:23:49,755 --> 00:23:51,257 - You know why? - Why? 507 00:23:51,290 --> 00:23:53,192 "And they rise from the grave at night 508 00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:55,327 - to feast on the living." - Oh, no. 509 00:23:55,361 --> 00:23:58,030 Shut the fuck up for a second. 510 00:23:58,064 --> 00:23:59,899 Just for one second, shut the fuck up. 511 00:23:59,932 --> 00:24:02,735 You know what? All that coming to... to life 512 00:24:02,768 --> 00:24:06,105 and the dead rising up and the Tales of the Crypt 513 00:24:06,138 --> 00:24:08,340 and the Michael Jackson, the monsters, 514 00:24:08,374 --> 00:24:10,810 all that is a bunch of bullshit! 515 00:24:10,843 --> 00:24:12,778 Did you see the little guy in the window? 516 00:24:12,812 --> 00:24:14,213 'Cause you probably think it's Prince 517 00:24:14,246 --> 00:24:16,182 or I don't know who the fuck you think it is. 518 00:24:16,215 --> 00:24:17,917 It's a little pimp in there. 519 00:24:18,851 --> 00:24:22,288 Bitches is getting slapped over in that house. 520 00:24:22,321 --> 00:24:24,323 Man, I know what I saw, man. That was a goddamn vampire. 521 00:24:24,356 --> 00:24:25,925 Definitely. I know what I saw. 522 00:24:25,958 --> 00:24:28,227 A pimp live next door to us, okay? 523 00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:30,029 P-I-M-P. 524 00:24:30,062 --> 00:24:32,264 Put it in my pocket. 525 00:24:32,298 --> 00:24:36,001 The reason why he sleep all day? Because pimping is at night! 526 00:24:36,035 --> 00:24:38,003 I'm gone. I'm getting the fuck out of here. 527 00:24:38,037 --> 00:24:39,638 I'm finna go write my book. 528 00:24:39,672 --> 00:24:41,273 You done lost your motherfucking mind. 529 00:24:41,307 --> 00:24:43,142 You need to go sign up for the circus. 530 00:24:43,175 --> 00:24:46,145 - Oh, man. - Don't invite him in. 531 00:24:46,178 --> 00:24:47,746 What? 532 00:24:47,780 --> 00:24:49,748 Only way to keep a vampire out of your house. 533 00:24:49,782 --> 00:24:51,817 Don't invite him in. 534 00:24:52,952 --> 00:24:54,420 I'm gone, man. I ain't... 535 00:24:54,453 --> 00:24:56,755 Yeah, you go, man. We're gonna get to the bottom of it. 536 00:24:56,789 --> 00:24:58,824 I'm gonna do some research. We'll figure it out, bro! 537 00:24:58,858 --> 00:25:00,659 - Just trust me! - Shut the fuck up. 538 00:25:01,694 --> 00:25:03,362 Well, what about... what about if you live in the RV? 539 00:25:03,395 --> 00:25:06,031 - Is there any rules there? - Don't invite him in. 540 00:25:21,981 --> 00:25:24,283 I ain't got no more bananas, 'cause this shit is... 541 00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:27,019 They got... bats. 542 00:25:27,052 --> 00:25:28,687 Vampire coming at me. 543 00:25:28,721 --> 00:25:30,055 God, I didn't sign up for this shit. 544 00:25:31,757 --> 00:25:35,728 Fucking nude. 545 00:25:37,429 --> 00:25:38,998 Dispatch to Snitch. Over. 546 00:25:39,031 --> 00:25:42,067 Do you know what happens to snitches? 547 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,176 Shit! 548 00:25:50,209 --> 00:25:53,746 These bitches bit Snitch's neck! 549 00:25:53,779 --> 00:25:56,715 Mama! Oh, shit! That was shit. They got me. 550 00:25:58,050 --> 00:26:00,052 Oh, damn. Oh, damn. 551 00:26:11,096 --> 00:26:13,732 You know me as the one that survived the Purge. 552 00:26:13,766 --> 00:26:16,468 Therefore, I could survive anything. 553 00:26:16,502 --> 00:26:18,003 What is going on in your life? 554 00:26:18,037 --> 00:26:20,139 - Late night? - Oh. Hey. 555 00:26:20,172 --> 00:26:21,974 Yeah. It was the worst last night. 556 00:26:22,007 --> 00:26:23,342 I can explain, though. 557 00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:26,278 Can you tell me what happened with Allie? 558 00:26:26,312 --> 00:26:29,215 - She called you? - She's mad because you don't trust her. 559 00:26:29,248 --> 00:26:30,416 No. She had her little boy in my house. 560 00:26:30,449 --> 00:26:32,251 She ain't paying no rent up in here. 561 00:26:32,284 --> 00:26:34,220 You need to be the bigger man and call her and apologize, 562 00:26:34,253 --> 00:26:36,488 because I'm not dealing with all of this mess. 563 00:26:36,522 --> 00:26:39,825 And speaking of which, did you call the real estate agent like I asked you to? 564 00:26:39,858 --> 00:26:41,160 Oh, man. 565 00:26:41,193 --> 00:26:43,963 I'm mentally exhausted from all of this. 566 00:26:43,996 --> 00:26:46,198 I'm having a hard time writing, okay? 567 00:26:46,232 --> 00:26:48,234 Lorena. 568 00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:52,371 Come, Lorena. 569 00:26:52,404 --> 00:26:55,774 Oh, my God. 570 00:26:55,808 --> 00:26:58,444 - Oh, my God. - What's going on with you? 571 00:26:58,477 --> 00:27:00,012 Oh, my God. 572 00:27:00,045 --> 00:27:01,347 - Do you feel it... - Oh, my God. 573 00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:02,848 - ...all over your body? - Oh, shit. 574 00:27:02,881 --> 00:27:03,882 How is this happening? 575 00:27:03,916 --> 00:27:05,284 Oh, my God. 576 00:27:05,317 --> 00:27:07,219 Am I missing out on something? 577 00:27:07,253 --> 00:27:09,888 Oh, yes. Don't stop. 578 00:27:09,922 --> 00:27:12,992 Oh, my. Carl. 579 00:27:13,025 --> 00:27:14,326 Carl, did you hear that? 580 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,128 Hey, you didn't... you didn't came in here. 581 00:27:16,161 --> 00:27:18,797 Shhh! 582 00:27:18,831 --> 00:27:22,167 Okay, then. That's what I needed. 583 00:27:22,201 --> 00:27:25,471 Local authorities are hesitant to label this a serial killer... 584 00:27:25,504 --> 00:27:28,040 - Oh, my God. - ...but sources close to the investigation 585 00:27:28,073 --> 00:27:29,875 were heard saying 586 00:27:29,908 --> 00:27:33,345 "This is some fucked up shit right here, my nigga." 587 00:27:33,379 --> 00:27:35,347 Who's doing all these terrible things to these women? 588 00:27:35,381 --> 00:27:37,249 - ...they went on to say the dead... - Oh, my God. 589 00:27:37,283 --> 00:27:39,184 I'm telling you, we need to get out of here. 590 00:27:39,218 --> 00:27:41,086 Can you please, please call that real estate man? 591 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,821 - The paper's right there. - I'm gonna call. 592 00:27:42,855 --> 00:27:44,089 - I'm gonna call him. - Okay. 593 00:27:44,123 --> 00:27:45,591 - ...signing off saying... - Now. 594 00:27:45,624 --> 00:27:48,427 - Call him, please. - ...hoes got to eat too. 595 00:27:56,435 --> 00:27:58,103 Allie! 596 00:27:59,104 --> 00:28:01,540 This is my 17th message. 597 00:28:01,573 --> 00:28:04,443 Please call me back, okay? I'm looking for you. 598 00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:07,179 I'm worried about you. Call me back. 599 00:28:09,148 --> 00:28:10,549 Hey. 600 00:28:13,118 --> 00:28:14,586 Listen, I'm not letting you in my house 601 00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:16,455 so you can tell them same ghost stories... 602 00:28:16,488 --> 00:28:18,057 No, you need to see this for real. 603 00:28:18,090 --> 00:28:19,558 Snitch, do you read me? 604 00:28:19,591 --> 00:28:21,060 Look like a busted bike to me. 605 00:28:21,093 --> 00:28:23,529 No, look. This Rico bike. 606 00:28:23,562 --> 00:28:26,231 - They done kidnapped Rico, bro. - Dispatch to Snitch, over. 607 00:28:26,265 --> 00:28:28,167 He don't go nowhere without this bike. 608 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,569 His license suspended. He got no choice but to ride this bike. 609 00:28:30,602 --> 00:28:33,572 Look, Rico is a grown man who done looked in the mirror 610 00:28:33,605 --> 00:28:35,441 and realized he ain't got no business 611 00:28:35,474 --> 00:28:38,410 being 50 years old on a tricycle. 612 00:28:38,444 --> 00:28:40,045 Or the vampires could have got him. 613 00:28:41,613 --> 00:28:43,182 Dispatch to Snitch, over. 614 00:28:44,651 --> 00:28:46,618 Rico saw something last night. 615 00:28:46,653 --> 00:28:48,554 I think I bet the vampires snatched his ass up. 616 00:28:48,587 --> 00:28:50,589 Snitch, what is your 411? 617 00:28:50,622 --> 00:28:52,524 That's Freezee's car. 618 00:28:52,558 --> 00:28:54,960 In there pimping my daughter! 619 00:29:02,334 --> 00:29:04,203 The sun's setting. 620 00:29:06,505 --> 00:29:09,141 The vampire's about to wake up. 621 00:29:09,174 --> 00:29:10,876 Don't invite him in. 622 00:29:14,113 --> 00:29:15,648 Imbecile! 623 00:29:15,682 --> 00:29:17,549 Damn it, man! You scared the hell out of me! 624 00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:20,219 Who the hell you callin' an imbecile? 625 00:29:20,252 --> 00:29:23,389 Now listen, you take your hands off of me! I don't know you! 626 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,194 Whoop. 627 00:29:29,228 --> 00:29:31,063 - Stop playing! - Got you. 628 00:29:31,096 --> 00:29:32,197 You little bitch. 629 00:29:36,770 --> 00:29:39,338 No, but for real, though, this is crazy. What is we doing? 630 00:29:41,473 --> 00:29:43,208 I know Allie's in this house. 631 00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:45,110 Allie! 632 00:29:45,144 --> 00:29:47,413 These maniacs done kidnapped Rico and you just banging on the door? 633 00:29:47,446 --> 00:29:49,047 I've been calling Allie all day 634 00:29:49,081 --> 00:29:50,449 and she ain't answer the phone. Relax. 635 00:29:50,482 --> 00:29:52,217 Allie! 636 00:29:52,251 --> 00:29:55,120 - What the fuck? - Can I help you, gentlemen? 637 00:29:55,154 --> 00:29:57,456 My daughter's in there, man. 638 00:29:57,489 --> 00:30:00,092 Come on, man. Give me my daughter back, man. This is crazy. 639 00:30:00,125 --> 00:30:02,361 You got the fuckin' Halloween shit going on? 640 00:30:02,394 --> 00:30:04,196 That's my daughter! 641 00:30:04,229 --> 00:30:06,733 I'm sure I don't know what you mean, neighbor. 642 00:30:06,766 --> 00:30:08,668 The car is in the back. 643 00:30:08,701 --> 00:30:10,670 I've been looking for my daughter all day. 644 00:30:10,703 --> 00:30:12,204 Your pimping gonna stop. 645 00:30:12,237 --> 00:30:13,706 God don't like ugly, man. 646 00:30:13,740 --> 00:30:17,276 Mr. Black, your daughter is not in this house. 647 00:30:17,309 --> 00:30:18,343 Ah! 648 00:30:20,713 --> 00:30:23,382 Can I come in the house? 649 00:30:23,415 --> 00:30:25,484 The doctor will not be here until later. 650 00:30:25,517 --> 00:30:28,554 I wonder why? You got all them dead bodies in there you don't want us to see? 651 00:30:28,587 --> 00:30:31,724 But, if you'd like to come in, Mr. Black, 652 00:30:31,758 --> 00:30:37,062 you will find out in fact that your daughter is not in this house. 653 00:30:37,095 --> 00:30:38,997 - We can come in and search the whole... - Mr. Black, please. 654 00:30:39,031 --> 00:30:40,399 You want... that's what you want us to do? 655 00:30:40,432 --> 00:30:41,967 Please. 656 00:30:44,336 --> 00:30:45,471 Be my guest. 657 00:30:45,504 --> 00:30:47,506 You want some real niggas... 658 00:30:47,539 --> 00:30:48,775 Enjoy yourselves, please. 659 00:30:48,808 --> 00:30:50,375 - ...come in your house? - Go. 660 00:30:52,745 --> 00:30:54,781 Hey, stop. 661 00:30:57,817 --> 00:30:59,051 Allie! 662 00:30:59,084 --> 00:31:00,653 Allie! 663 00:31:02,354 --> 00:31:04,389 What? 664 00:31:04,423 --> 00:31:06,558 - Carl, look at this shit. - What? 665 00:31:12,832 --> 00:31:15,467 That shit look crazy, man. 666 00:31:15,501 --> 00:31:17,436 What the fuck is that dog thing right there? 667 00:31:17,469 --> 00:31:18,638 - Mr. Black! - Hey! Shit! 668 00:31:18,671 --> 00:31:20,439 Damn, bro! What the fuck is going on? 669 00:31:20,472 --> 00:31:21,641 - What's wrong with you, bro? - Don't touch these dolls. 670 00:31:21,674 --> 00:31:23,475 What is wrong with you? 671 00:31:23,509 --> 00:31:28,080 These are very, very expensive West African voodoo totems. 672 00:31:28,113 --> 00:31:30,148 - The doctor is a collector. - Allie! 673 00:31:32,652 --> 00:31:33,686 Allie! 674 00:31:38,156 --> 00:31:39,659 Allie! Whoa! 675 00:31:40,559 --> 00:31:42,629 - Is my daddy in here? - Please come in, Allie. 676 00:31:42,662 --> 00:31:43,663 Carl. 677 00:31:45,430 --> 00:31:46,532 - What? - Guess who come in. 678 00:31:46,565 --> 00:31:48,300 Dad! What are you doing here? 679 00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:50,602 Allie, what are you doing? Where your ass been at? 680 00:31:50,637 --> 00:31:51,838 What the hell's going on? 681 00:31:51,871 --> 00:31:53,572 Why are you in these nice people's house? 682 00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:55,775 These people ain't nice. This is a pimp's house. 683 00:31:55,808 --> 00:31:57,710 - This is a nice house. - Oh, my God. 684 00:31:57,744 --> 00:31:59,646 Man, this is crazy! Look, he's been putting 685 00:31:59,679 --> 00:32:02,281 all kind of crazy stories in my head about you. 686 00:32:02,314 --> 00:32:04,116 The car's in the back... 687 00:32:04,149 --> 00:32:06,753 See, I knew you were going to be tripping when you found out. 688 00:32:06,786 --> 00:32:09,154 God. Found out what? 689 00:32:09,956 --> 00:32:12,457 I just gotta tell you. I'm just going to say it. 690 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,495 - I'm movin' out. - Movin' out where? 691 00:32:16,528 --> 00:32:18,564 Me and Freezee are going to get married 692 00:32:18,597 --> 00:32:20,232 and we're going to make a life together. 693 00:32:20,265 --> 00:32:22,635 I will take my belt off and tear your ass up. 694 00:32:22,669 --> 00:32:25,504 Daddy, I can make my own choices. It's called feminism. 695 00:32:25,537 --> 00:32:28,808 Oh, I know all about liberating some women. 696 00:32:28,841 --> 00:32:30,677 - You hear that? - Yeah. 697 00:32:39,318 --> 00:32:44,222 Let me introduce Dr. Mamuwalde! 698 00:32:46,826 --> 00:32:49,261 Dr. Mamuwalde. 699 00:32:50,228 --> 00:32:52,431 Dr. Mamuwalde. 700 00:32:52,464 --> 00:32:54,701 Dr. Mamuwalde. 701 00:32:55,735 --> 00:32:57,770 Dr. Mamuwalde. 702 00:32:58,771 --> 00:33:01,273 Dr. Mamuwalde. 703 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,176 So beautiful. 704 00:33:04,209 --> 00:33:06,345 Dr. Mamuwalde. 705 00:33:07,847 --> 00:33:10,616 Dr. Mamuwalde. 706 00:33:11,383 --> 00:33:14,353 Dr. Mamuwalde. 707 00:33:14,386 --> 00:33:16,923 Is that a Black bite-sized Hugh Hefner? 708 00:33:16,956 --> 00:33:19,591 Dr. Mamuwalde. 709 00:33:19,625 --> 00:33:22,194 Dr. Mamuwalde. 710 00:33:23,395 --> 00:33:25,698 Dr. Mamuwalde. 711 00:33:25,732 --> 00:33:27,332 All right, man. 712 00:33:27,366 --> 00:33:30,335 Monty, I told you, three times. 713 00:33:30,369 --> 00:33:31,871 Yeah, nigga, damn. 714 00:33:31,904 --> 00:33:33,673 Every day is a struggle, 715 00:33:33,706 --> 00:33:36,876 but every night is a feast, you feel me? 716 00:33:36,909 --> 00:33:40,379 Carl Black! Show me some love. 717 00:33:40,412 --> 00:33:41,714 I can give you some from right here. 718 00:33:41,748 --> 00:33:43,448 I can't come over and give up no... 719 00:33:43,482 --> 00:33:45,818 - no love shit, dog. - Mm-mm. 720 00:33:45,852 --> 00:33:49,856 Welcome to my humble abode, Carl Black. 721 00:33:49,889 --> 00:33:51,891 How the fuck do you know my name? 722 00:33:51,924 --> 00:33:55,193 That's what's crazy. You been on my IG page? 723 00:33:55,227 --> 00:33:57,529 Oh, I've had my third eye on you. 724 00:33:57,562 --> 00:33:59,231 I mean, if it was about that shit the other night, 725 00:33:59,264 --> 00:34:00,465 all right, look, I ain't got... 726 00:34:00,499 --> 00:34:02,935 The doctor is a fan of your book... 727 00:34:02,969 --> 00:34:03,970 - Ooh. - Mr. Black. 728 00:34:04,003 --> 00:34:05,938 Shit. Mm. 729 00:34:05,972 --> 00:34:08,607 And doodoo is a fan of your mouth. 730 00:34:08,641 --> 00:34:10,609 - Dad. - You know my book? 731 00:34:10,643 --> 00:34:11,978 - Wow. - Mm. 732 00:34:12,011 --> 00:34:13,612 I told you, you got to get back in there. 733 00:34:13,646 --> 00:34:15,715 You know he's in, uh, a tough spot right now. 734 00:34:15,748 --> 00:34:17,215 - He's in a artistic bind. - Yeah. I'm trying to write a new book. 735 00:34:17,249 --> 00:34:18,918 Yeah. You see, the first one was good. 736 00:34:18,951 --> 00:34:20,753 - Yeah. The second one. - Now, I'm trying to do... 737 00:34:20,787 --> 00:34:22,789 - I'm trying to do the second one. - Gotta be off the chain. 738 00:34:22,822 --> 00:34:24,456 It's a fine piece of literature. 739 00:34:24,489 --> 00:34:26,458 The shit was a modern-day classic. 740 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,896 Dr. Mamuwalde. 741 00:34:29,929 --> 00:34:33,532 What type of medicine you practice, bro? 742 00:34:33,565 --> 00:34:35,768 I practice the type of medicine 743 00:34:35,802 --> 00:34:38,336 for those with a particular affliction. 744 00:34:38,370 --> 00:34:41,273 Take two of these and call me in the morning. 745 00:34:42,507 --> 00:34:44,711 Oh, this. 746 00:34:44,744 --> 00:34:45,845 Bless his name. 747 00:34:45,878 --> 00:34:47,747 I knew you was a pimp. 748 00:34:47,780 --> 00:34:50,315 - Ha. Such harsh language, Mr. Black. - Yeah. 749 00:34:50,348 --> 00:34:52,584 I am a purveyor and provocateur 750 00:34:52,617 --> 00:34:56,488 of fine ass bitches and high-priced pleasure. 751 00:34:56,521 --> 00:34:58,891 I know what I'm looking at when I see it. 752 00:34:58,925 --> 00:35:00,693 Hold on. Wait a minute, little George Jefferson. 753 00:35:00,727 --> 00:35:03,328 We ain't doing no provocative nothin' around here. 754 00:35:03,361 --> 00:35:04,731 This is my daughter. 755 00:35:04,764 --> 00:35:06,766 Ain't nothin' going up in there but a tampon. 756 00:35:06,799 --> 00:35:08,366 - Daddy! - Mr. Black, I assure you, 757 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,503 I may be a pimp, but I am no monster. 758 00:35:11,536 --> 00:35:14,006 Matter of fact, to prove my point, 759 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:19,377 allow me. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. 760 00:35:19,411 --> 00:35:21,613 This is for your education. 761 00:35:21,647 --> 00:35:22,648 Really? 762 00:35:27,086 --> 00:35:28,921 - No. - Ooh. Daddy! 763 00:35:28,955 --> 00:35:31,724 No! We ain't raisin' no THOTs around here! 764 00:35:31,758 --> 00:35:33,592 - We ain't doing no THOTin'! - But we need the money! 765 00:35:33,625 --> 00:35:35,995 You... but we ain't getting the money that kind of way. 766 00:35:36,028 --> 00:35:38,831 We sellin' books around here, not pussy! 767 00:35:38,865 --> 00:35:41,566 The Black man has yet again said no to education. 768 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,936 - Fuck you! Come on. Get your ass out of here. - Daddy! 769 00:35:43,970 --> 00:35:46,404 - Why are you always yelling at people? - Fuck you, Mr. Mamuwalde. 770 00:35:46,438 --> 00:35:48,340 Thank you, nice man! 771 00:35:48,373 --> 00:35:51,043 Well, let me just say I'm having a soirée tomorrow night 772 00:35:51,077 --> 00:35:53,345 and I would be honored if you would join me. 773 00:35:53,378 --> 00:35:55,248 I'm expensive! 774 00:35:59,652 --> 00:36:02,755 Tomorrow night is the soirée. 775 00:36:02,789 --> 00:36:03,823 Oh, oh. 776 00:36:05,457 --> 00:36:08,728 - Save them for me. - We expect to be seeing you. 777 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:23,676 You always do this, Daddy. 778 00:36:23,709 --> 00:36:25,577 Why wouldn't you let that pretty man help me? 779 00:36:25,610 --> 00:36:27,680 Dolomite was trying to get in your panties. 780 00:36:27,713 --> 00:36:29,581 - We don't need his money. - No. 781 00:36:29,614 --> 00:36:32,118 We don't need the money. I need the money, Dad. 782 00:36:32,151 --> 00:36:34,787 I just want to get my education, so I don't end up like you. 783 00:36:34,821 --> 00:36:36,022 - Like me? - Yes, Daddy. 784 00:36:36,055 --> 00:36:37,489 Just write the book or get a job. 785 00:36:37,522 --> 00:36:38,791 Get a job, broke nigga! 786 00:36:38,825 --> 00:36:40,592 I got some money on your hair, Freezee. 787 00:36:40,625 --> 00:36:42,460 I'm about to unthaw yo ass. 788 00:36:42,494 --> 00:36:44,063 - I'm leaving. - Allie. 789 00:36:44,096 --> 00:36:45,832 And me and Freezee are gonna live happily ever after together. 790 00:36:45,865 --> 00:36:47,465 - Allie Black. - That is what we're doing. 791 00:36:47,499 --> 00:36:48,868 - Freezee! Let's go! - Allie Black. 792 00:36:48,901 --> 00:36:50,368 Allie! Allie! 793 00:36:50,402 --> 00:36:51,637 I think she just called you a dumbass. 794 00:36:51,671 --> 00:36:52,772 Stop yelling in the neighborhood! 795 00:36:52,805 --> 00:36:54,606 - Allie. - We're going. 796 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,642 - Baby, tuck my legs in. - I got you. 797 00:36:57,743 --> 00:36:59,511 - Baby. - Look at that. 798 00:36:59,544 --> 00:37:01,047 Always falling like this. 799 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,849 Carl! 800 00:37:02,882 --> 00:37:05,151 Why is she leaving like that, baby? We just talked about this. 801 00:37:05,184 --> 00:37:07,119 - Baby, I... - Well-well, the neighbor next door 802 00:37:07,153 --> 00:37:09,421 tried to give some goddamn vampire pimp money 803 00:37:09,454 --> 00:37:11,824 to Allie for school and goddamn hatin' ass Carl, 804 00:37:11,858 --> 00:37:14,694 he gon' take the money and throw it back in the goddamn vampire face 805 00:37:14,727 --> 00:37:16,095 and goddamn Allie, goddamn... 806 00:37:16,128 --> 00:37:19,464 Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down, little infant! 807 00:37:19,497 --> 00:37:21,533 Vampire? Vampire pimp? 808 00:37:21,566 --> 00:37:23,803 That's what you guys are out here talking about right now? 809 00:37:23,836 --> 00:37:26,404 - No. It ain't even like that. - We just had this conversation. 810 00:37:26,438 --> 00:37:29,108 - Hey. - I'm tired of all this craziness. 811 00:37:29,141 --> 00:37:31,110 Did you call the real estate agent like I asked you to? 812 00:37:31,143 --> 00:37:34,113 Called the real estate agent. I... I left a message for him. 813 00:37:34,146 --> 00:37:36,983 Look, Carl, I'll call him, just like I do 814 00:37:37,016 --> 00:37:39,118 - everything else around here, okay? - Oh-oh. 815 00:37:39,151 --> 00:37:41,854 But you know what, we need to talk tonight when I get home from work. 816 00:37:41,888 --> 00:37:43,723 Oh-oh. 817 00:37:43,756 --> 00:37:45,725 - Babe, don't do that. - I gotta go to work. 818 00:37:45,758 --> 00:37:47,459 - She's gonna cheat on you. - Shut up, Cronut. 819 00:37:47,492 --> 00:37:48,593 It's me, baby. 820 00:37:48,628 --> 00:37:49,962 - Yeah. - Babe. 821 00:37:51,163 --> 00:37:53,633 Yeah, she gonna cheat on you. 822 00:37:55,034 --> 00:37:56,669 I'm gonna cheat on you. 823 00:37:56,702 --> 00:37:58,971 Carl. Carl. 824 00:38:00,505 --> 00:38:01,741 Carl! 825 00:38:01,774 --> 00:38:03,608 - Carl! - What? 826 00:38:03,643 --> 00:38:05,543 Gotta listen to me. You gotta hear me out for real. 827 00:38:05,577 --> 00:38:07,545 I know you're going through a lot. 828 00:38:07,579 --> 00:38:09,782 I know your old lady trippin', I know your daughter trippin', 829 00:38:09,815 --> 00:38:11,083 I know you have a writer's block, 830 00:38:11,117 --> 00:38:13,019 but please, bro, just listen to me. 831 00:38:13,052 --> 00:38:16,088 Go home. All right? It's over. 832 00:38:16,122 --> 00:38:17,857 I'm movin' the fuck out of this house. 833 00:38:17,890 --> 00:38:19,926 This our house! We can't let him move us out. 834 00:38:19,959 --> 00:38:22,094 - I don't wannna hear that shit. - I gotta tell you this for real. 835 00:38:22,128 --> 00:38:25,031 Guess what I found while you was talking to the pimp vampire? 836 00:38:25,064 --> 00:38:27,166 These Rico glasses, man. They probably got him. 837 00:38:27,199 --> 00:38:29,835 They done... they done drunk all his blood and everything, man. 838 00:38:29,869 --> 00:38:32,138 Stop! That motherfucker just tried to play me. 839 00:38:32,171 --> 00:38:33,571 He's going to jail. 840 00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:35,808 Three hots and a cot, he's going to jail. 841 00:38:35,841 --> 00:38:37,910 So, what you gonna do about it? 842 00:38:37,944 --> 00:38:39,979 The little motherfucker's going to jail for pimping and pandering around here. 843 00:38:40,012 --> 00:38:41,546 What you mean, what I'm gonna do? 844 00:38:41,579 --> 00:38:44,549 Police ain't never arrestin' no goddamn vampire. 845 00:38:44,582 --> 00:38:46,252 That's shit, okay? 846 00:38:46,285 --> 00:38:48,688 Did you see he floated down the stairs? 847 00:38:48,721 --> 00:38:50,156 You didn't see him float? 848 00:38:50,189 --> 00:38:51,991 911, what's your emergency? 849 00:38:52,024 --> 00:38:54,093 Yes, I have a problem here. 850 00:38:54,126 --> 00:38:56,762 Um, I'm a new neighbor 851 00:38:56,796 --> 00:38:58,731 that just moved in the neighborhood. 852 00:38:58,764 --> 00:39:00,666 As you can tell, I'm Caucasian. 853 00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:03,202 And there's a real peculiar guy. 854 00:39:03,235 --> 00:39:05,204 - Is he Black? Okay. - Yes, he's Black. 855 00:39:05,237 --> 00:39:06,772 We'll send over five units right away. 856 00:39:06,806 --> 00:39:08,207 Okay, you'll be here in a second? 857 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,276 - Right away. - Thank you. 858 00:39:10,309 --> 00:39:13,646 That's how you do that. 859 00:39:13,679 --> 00:39:15,014 He's going to jail. 860 00:39:24,890 --> 00:39:26,759 Hey, hey, hey, hey, fall back, fall back. 861 00:39:26,792 --> 00:39:28,761 - What's going on? - I'm the lead cop on this. 862 00:39:28,794 --> 00:39:30,963 - Laced, you're a rookie. - Listen, I'm just tryin' to have some fun. 863 00:39:30,997 --> 00:39:33,032 I said fall back, man. 864 00:39:33,065 --> 00:39:34,800 Listen, I got my gun. I'm going to this house to have some fun. 865 00:39:34,834 --> 00:39:36,068 Do my thing. 866 00:39:37,636 --> 00:39:40,106 All right. Go ahead. Handle this. 867 00:39:40,139 --> 00:39:41,807 What kind of spooky shit is this? 868 00:39:41,841 --> 00:39:44,643 First time bein' a cop. This is gonna be a breeze. 869 00:39:44,677 --> 00:39:46,712 That like a old couple relationship. 870 00:39:52,752 --> 00:39:54,120 Come on out of there 871 00:39:54,153 --> 00:39:56,055 - before I put a hot one in your ass! - Hold on. 872 00:39:56,088 --> 00:39:57,323 There'll be no gun violence. Put your gun down. This is my first day. 873 00:39:57,356 --> 00:39:59,058 Shut up and stop being a little bitch. 874 00:40:03,763 --> 00:40:05,898 Two of them in up there, weird as hell. 875 00:40:05,931 --> 00:40:07,833 Lock his ass up. 876 00:40:07,867 --> 00:40:08,968 He got Rico. 877 00:40:11,771 --> 00:40:14,974 - Police. - Good heavens! What is all the fuss? 878 00:40:15,007 --> 00:40:18,210 Oh, a father and son team, splendid. 879 00:40:18,244 --> 00:40:20,279 What may I do for you, dark-skinned Hutch? 880 00:40:20,312 --> 00:40:23,049 Listen, big fella. Dude down there saying y'all been involved 881 00:40:23,082 --> 00:40:25,217 in the kidnappin' of the neighborhood watch captain? 882 00:40:25,251 --> 00:40:26,584 Rico. 883 00:40:26,618 --> 00:40:27,920 - So y'all kidnap him? - Yeah. 884 00:40:27,953 --> 00:40:29,121 And I heard you got hoes all up in through there. 885 00:40:29,155 --> 00:40:30,289 Y'all freaky-freaky, huh? 886 00:40:30,322 --> 00:40:31,924 Not at all, sir. 887 00:40:31,957 --> 00:40:34,260 This is the residence of Dr. Mamuwalde. 888 00:40:34,293 --> 00:40:37,029 - Mama-who? - Can't a man pimp in peace? 889 00:40:38,864 --> 00:40:41,300 The name is Dr. Mamuwalde. 890 00:40:42,835 --> 00:40:44,804 - Shit. - He trippin'-trippin'. 891 00:40:44,837 --> 00:40:46,705 I hope they get his ass, man. 892 00:40:46,739 --> 00:40:48,374 Listen, big fella, do you mind if I have a look inside, 893 00:40:48,407 --> 00:40:50,009 see what's going on see what I can steal? 894 00:40:50,042 --> 00:40:51,777 I mean, just see what's going on in the house. 895 00:40:51,811 --> 00:40:55,014 Absolutely. My house is your house, officer. 896 00:40:55,047 --> 00:40:56,816 Feel free to look around 897 00:40:56,849 --> 00:41:00,086 - as soon as you present your warrant. - He trippin'. 898 00:41:00,119 --> 00:41:01,887 - Warrant? - Yes, warrant. 899 00:41:01,921 --> 00:41:04,723 What the fuck? You 'posed to be an expert on the law now? 900 00:41:04,757 --> 00:41:07,726 I'm gonna show you what we do with experts down here, hm? 901 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,128 Hold on, what you doing? 902 00:41:09,161 --> 00:41:11,197 No! Put the taser off! Put the taser off! 903 00:41:11,230 --> 00:41:13,899 - You trippin'-trippin'. - Uh-huh, bust him. Bust him. 904 00:41:13,933 --> 00:41:16,135 - Put your taser off. - Don't eyeball me, boy. 905 00:41:16,168 --> 00:41:17,837 Don't play with me. 906 00:41:17,870 --> 00:41:19,271 We just want to know if you know about the whereabouts 907 00:41:19,305 --> 00:41:21,774 of this Rico guy. Where is Rico? 908 00:41:21,807 --> 00:41:25,077 You're the one supposed to be looking 909 00:41:25,111 --> 00:41:27,980 for whoever you're looking for, sir. 910 00:41:28,013 --> 00:41:31,217 I don't know who Rico is and you can't make me. 911 00:41:31,250 --> 00:41:32,751 He's lying, man. 912 00:41:32,785 --> 00:41:34,386 How y'all gonna believe 913 00:41:34,420 --> 00:41:37,356 somebody dressed like Dr. Seuss is what I'm sayin'? 914 00:41:37,389 --> 00:41:39,358 What do you do, sir? For a living? 915 00:41:39,391 --> 00:41:43,195 Well, for a living, I take fantasy and dreams 916 00:41:43,229 --> 00:41:46,265 and I make them into reality. 917 00:41:46,298 --> 00:41:49,768 Let me tell you something, creepy motherfucker. You got two options. 918 00:41:49,802 --> 00:41:53,939 Option A, we look around inside this spooky motherfucker, 919 00:41:53,973 --> 00:41:56,242 or option B, we're gonna arrest your ass, 920 00:41:56,275 --> 00:41:58,744 take you down to the precinct, ask you a bunch of goddamn questions. 921 00:41:58,777 --> 00:42:01,280 He's going to jail. That's what I'm talking about. 922 00:42:01,313 --> 00:42:03,749 I'll take... I haven't even chosen my options. 923 00:42:03,782 --> 00:42:05,384 Oh, we're gonna do it. We're gonna take him now. 924 00:42:05,417 --> 00:42:07,987 Option A, I don't. Option B... 925 00:42:08,020 --> 00:42:09,355 We're gonna take you downtown, Midnite. 926 00:42:09,388 --> 00:42:11,090 Wait a minute. 927 00:42:11,123 --> 00:42:14,126 How can you call me "midnight" as dark as you are... 928 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,695 - What? What did you say? - ...ith all due respect, officer? 929 00:42:16,729 --> 00:42:19,732 Well, if I'm Midnight, aren't you two Nights? 930 00:42:19,765 --> 00:42:21,800 There ain't shit you're gonna do about it. Come on with your little... 931 00:42:21,834 --> 00:42:23,335 - Stop resisting. - They're taking him to jail. 932 00:42:23,369 --> 00:42:25,371 That's what I'm talking about. Do your job. 933 00:42:25,404 --> 00:42:27,806 This is definitely Black on Black crime. 934 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,942 Hey, I got it. Take his Black ass down. 935 00:42:43,122 --> 00:42:44,456 Officer! 936 00:42:44,490 --> 00:42:46,325 I believe there's been a misunderstanding. 937 00:42:48,460 --> 00:42:50,196 Do you mean this Rico? 938 00:42:55,467 --> 00:42:57,870 Rico, what the fuck you doing in there? 939 00:42:57,903 --> 00:43:01,073 I'm fine. I was just in the basement... 940 00:43:01,106 --> 00:43:02,875 They didn't fondle with you down there, did they? 941 00:43:02,908 --> 00:43:04,276 They did me fine. 942 00:43:04,310 --> 00:43:07,379 - They served me fresh bananas. - From Honduras. 943 00:43:07,413 --> 00:43:08,847 Bananas in the basement? 944 00:43:08,881 --> 00:43:10,516 They done brainwashed his crazy ass. 945 00:43:10,549 --> 00:43:11,917 They did more than brainwashing. 946 00:43:11,951 --> 00:43:13,852 Somethin' ain't right with him. 947 00:43:27,533 --> 00:43:30,402 Come to me, Lorena. 948 00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:40,913 Come to me, Lorena. 949 00:43:42,047 --> 00:43:44,383 I've been searching for you. 950 00:43:46,385 --> 00:43:52,024 Are you feeling my breath upon your corpuscle? 951 00:44:02,368 --> 00:44:04,203 What kind of cop shit is this? 952 00:44:04,236 --> 00:44:05,537 Y'all let him go? 953 00:44:05,571 --> 00:44:08,107 Mr. Black, you call us down here again 954 00:44:08,140 --> 00:44:09,375 and waste our damn time, 955 00:44:09,408 --> 00:44:11,977 I'm gonna take your ashy ass to jail. 956 00:44:12,011 --> 00:44:13,512 We cop cops. This ain't no damn joke! 957 00:44:13,545 --> 00:44:16,015 Man, if you don't get your retarded ass... 958 00:44:16,048 --> 00:44:19,385 You better watch your mouth, before I stick these goddamn handcuffs up your ass. 959 00:44:19,418 --> 00:44:21,520 Don't eyeball me, boy. 960 00:44:21,553 --> 00:44:23,389 Let's go. 961 00:44:25,424 --> 00:44:28,160 Carl, why are you here with the police? 962 00:44:28,193 --> 00:44:29,995 What did the neighbor do to you? 963 00:44:30,029 --> 00:44:32,431 This is what happens when you keep messing with the neighbors. 964 00:44:32,464 --> 00:44:34,033 Why are you blamin' him for everything? 965 00:44:34,066 --> 00:44:35,968 Because clearly, I see you out here too. 966 00:44:36,001 --> 00:44:38,170 For real, this is your plan. Don't try to put this on me. 967 00:44:38,203 --> 00:44:40,039 - We're movin' out. - What do you mean? Wait! 968 00:44:40,072 --> 00:44:41,874 - Without you. - How you gonna move out without me? 969 00:44:41,907 --> 00:44:43,409 - We family. - No. We not family. 970 00:44:43,442 --> 00:44:45,311 You're just my cousin that fucks up everything. 971 00:44:45,344 --> 00:44:46,478 - That's family. - You know what? 972 00:44:46,512 --> 00:44:48,847 I'm tired of you always blamin' him. 973 00:44:48,881 --> 00:44:51,183 Look right here. This is what it's about, me and you. You're messing up. 974 00:44:59,258 --> 00:45:01,360 - Babe. I can explain. - You should be ashamed of yourself. 975 00:45:01,393 --> 00:45:04,897 The motherfucker was trying to disrespect me in front of my daughter. 976 00:45:04,930 --> 00:45:07,299 I'm tired of you embarrassing our family. 977 00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:10,903 You owe that man an apology. 978 00:45:10,936 --> 00:45:12,438 Babe... 979 00:45:14,073 --> 00:45:16,508 I don't know if this is it for us. 980 00:45:16,542 --> 00:45:20,346 I used to think it was the house, the neighborhood, your book. 981 00:45:20,379 --> 00:45:23,015 But it's not. 982 00:45:23,048 --> 00:45:25,617 It's you. 983 00:45:25,652 --> 00:45:27,419 It's you and I that don't work. 984 00:45:33,092 --> 00:45:36,562 I got to go back to work. So you figure that out. 985 00:45:38,397 --> 00:45:41,900 I'll apologize. I'll go apologize. 986 00:45:41,934 --> 00:45:45,337 I don't have a problem apologizing to him. 987 00:45:45,371 --> 00:45:48,006 Attack and bring me my wife. 988 00:45:49,575 --> 00:45:51,610 Right this way, Mr. Black. 989 00:45:51,644 --> 00:45:54,079 The good doctor'll be here to deal with you shortly. 990 00:45:54,113 --> 00:45:56,148 Hey, man. Did you just change your accent? 991 00:45:56,181 --> 00:45:59,318 Where'd he go? What the fuck was he saying? 992 00:46:01,153 --> 00:46:03,255 Wow. 993 00:46:03,288 --> 00:46:04,490 It's nice, though. 994 00:46:07,993 --> 00:46:09,261 - Carl Black. - Hey! 995 00:46:09,294 --> 00:46:12,131 What the fuck! Jesus, Buddha, Allah! 996 00:46:13,666 --> 00:46:15,968 Is every place in here creepy? 997 00:46:16,001 --> 00:46:18,671 I thought I smelled failure in here. 998 00:46:18,705 --> 00:46:23,108 And I thought I smelled Celine Dion's wig also in here. 999 00:46:23,142 --> 00:46:25,544 You're a funny motherfucker, Carl. 1000 00:46:25,577 --> 00:46:29,181 And I don't just mean that dumb expression on your face. 1001 00:46:29,214 --> 00:46:32,719 Yeah? Well, look, let me be straight up with you, all right? 1002 00:46:32,752 --> 00:46:34,286 - Thank you. - I don't like you. 1003 00:46:34,319 --> 00:46:35,487 First time I seen you, 1004 00:46:35,521 --> 00:46:37,724 - just didn't like you. - Okay. 1005 00:46:37,757 --> 00:46:41,994 My wife sent me over here to apologize to you and that's what I want to do. 1006 00:46:42,027 --> 00:46:44,496 I want to apologize, but I just want to let you know, 1007 00:46:44,530 --> 00:46:46,999 I don't give a fuck. 1008 00:46:47,032 --> 00:46:48,367 We getting the fuck out of this neighborhood. 1009 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,003 Well, that's very interesting, Green Lantern, 1010 00:46:51,036 --> 00:46:53,172 but you can't leave just yet. 1011 00:46:53,205 --> 00:46:54,674 Oh, yes, I can! Shit! 1012 00:46:54,707 --> 00:46:56,175 My lease is up next month. 1013 00:46:58,377 --> 00:46:59,478 What's this? 1014 00:46:59,511 --> 00:47:01,380 There's something I want from you 1015 00:47:01,413 --> 00:47:03,549 and you're not leaving until I get it. 1016 00:47:03,582 --> 00:47:06,485 Man, I hope it's my nuts for these girls. 1017 00:47:06,518 --> 00:47:08,053 No! 1018 00:47:09,722 --> 00:47:13,292 My book. You like my book? 1019 00:47:13,325 --> 00:47:15,527 I told you I was a fan of your book. 1020 00:47:15,561 --> 00:47:17,996 - That is crazy. - It was magnificent. 1021 00:47:18,030 --> 00:47:19,198 You like my book. 1022 00:47:19,231 --> 00:47:21,300 I like you and your family, Carl. 1023 00:47:21,333 --> 00:47:22,534 And not everybody in my family 1024 00:47:22,568 --> 00:47:24,570 agreed with you moving in next door to us. 1025 00:47:24,603 --> 00:47:26,305 Your wife. 1026 00:47:26,338 --> 00:47:28,607 My wife? Lorena? 1027 00:47:28,641 --> 00:47:30,209 Lorena. 1028 00:47:30,242 --> 00:47:33,378 Oh, no. She ain't... she ain't into no pimping shit. 1029 00:47:33,412 --> 00:47:35,682 She ain't into no pimping shit and I ain't either, okay? 1030 00:47:35,715 --> 00:47:37,382 Tried it, didn't like it. 1031 00:47:37,416 --> 00:47:41,520 And my daughter? That's off limits. 1032 00:47:41,553 --> 00:47:44,289 You're too grown to be messing with anybody's daughter. 1033 00:47:44,323 --> 00:47:46,258 Ain't no man gonna let you mess with they daughter. 1034 00:47:46,291 --> 00:47:49,461 She's still a little girl. She's still doing Juicy Juices. 1035 00:47:49,495 --> 00:47:52,231 She's not a grown lady. She don't know what YAK is, 1036 00:47:52,264 --> 00:47:54,166 nor does she know what Gray Goose is. 1037 00:47:54,199 --> 00:47:57,737 I had no idea how old she was. She was my size. 1038 00:47:57,770 --> 00:48:00,239 Keep your little one, two, three, four, five, 1039 00:48:00,272 --> 00:48:03,810 six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve fingers 1040 00:48:03,843 --> 00:48:06,144 away from my daughter, blah-blah. 1041 00:48:06,178 --> 00:48:07,379 Big mistake. 1042 00:48:07,412 --> 00:48:08,715 Don't fuck with my daughter. 1043 00:48:08,748 --> 00:48:11,183 And Cronut, he's a character. 1044 00:48:11,216 --> 00:48:13,085 Oh, Cronut? You can have him. 1045 00:48:13,118 --> 00:48:16,388 Ugh. No one wants Cronut. 1046 00:48:16,421 --> 00:48:17,724 You can fuck him if you want. 1047 00:48:19,324 --> 00:48:21,728 He's crazy. He's the one that think 1048 00:48:21,761 --> 00:48:25,464 Michael Jackson and Biggie and Tupac is still living, 1049 00:48:25,497 --> 00:48:28,133 and-and thinks O.J. didn't do it. 1050 00:48:28,166 --> 00:48:29,769 He's got a whole lot of shit in his head. 1051 00:48:29,802 --> 00:48:32,639 And he gave me some crazy theories about you too. 1052 00:48:32,672 --> 00:48:36,408 I'mma go ahead and sign this autograph 'fore I can get on out of here. 1053 00:48:38,477 --> 00:48:41,380 And what was his theory about me? 1054 00:48:41,413 --> 00:48:45,217 We still don't know why you moved in the neighborhood... 1055 00:49:02,467 --> 00:49:05,772 What the fuck! What's wrong with you? 1056 00:49:05,805 --> 00:49:08,808 Egad, Carl Black. 1057 00:49:08,841 --> 00:49:11,476 Do I detect hostility in your voice? 1058 00:49:11,510 --> 00:49:13,145 I thought we were cool now. 1059 00:49:13,178 --> 00:49:14,446 No, we're not cool! 1060 00:49:14,479 --> 00:49:18,350 And you do detect hostility in my voice. 1061 00:49:18,383 --> 00:49:20,820 You got a picture of my wife naked on your fucking wall! 1062 00:49:20,853 --> 00:49:22,789 I ain't even got a picture of this bitch. 1063 00:49:22,822 --> 00:49:25,123 - Did you photoshop the picture? - No. 1064 00:49:26,558 --> 00:49:27,727 No, that's her. 1065 00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:31,831 I bet I know what Cronut thinks about me. 1066 00:49:31,864 --> 00:49:34,399 You know what? 1067 00:49:34,433 --> 00:49:37,837 He was right. 1068 00:50:00,827 --> 00:50:02,662 What are you doing? 1069 00:50:02,695 --> 00:50:04,429 Be quiet. I know what I'm doing. 1070 00:50:04,463 --> 00:50:06,264 Would you... Dad, come on. 1071 00:50:06,298 --> 00:50:08,367 Son, I got something I need to talk to you about. 1072 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,168 All right. 1073 00:50:10,202 --> 00:50:12,571 We got a vampire living next door! I've seen him! 1074 00:50:12,604 --> 00:50:15,540 - Hey, that's cool! - I think I've seen that dude. 1075 00:50:15,574 --> 00:50:17,309 What's so... What the fuck is wrong... 1076 00:50:17,342 --> 00:50:18,711 What's cool about that? 1077 00:50:18,745 --> 00:50:21,480 Dad, Dad, just relax. Just call the cops. 1078 00:50:21,513 --> 00:50:22,815 I can't call the cops. 1079 00:50:22,849 --> 00:50:24,684 Okay, everybody knows the vampire rules. 1080 00:50:24,717 --> 00:50:26,485 Like, a vampire cannot come in your house 1081 00:50:26,518 --> 00:50:28,921 unless you invite him in. Did you invite him in? 1082 00:50:28,955 --> 00:50:30,723 - No. I didn't invite him in. - All right. 1083 00:50:30,757 --> 00:50:32,290 All right, then you're good. That's good. 1084 00:50:32,324 --> 00:50:33,660 - I'm cool. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1085 00:50:33,693 --> 00:50:35,260 Come on now. Everybody knows that. 1086 00:50:35,293 --> 00:50:36,796 It's in literally every vampire comic book. 1087 00:50:36,829 --> 00:50:37,897 Every one. 1088 00:50:37,930 --> 00:50:41,533 Oh, man. You got some weed? 1089 00:50:41,566 --> 00:50:43,402 Dad, what? Just leave. Just leave. 1090 00:50:44,637 --> 00:50:46,338 I know who got it. 1091 00:50:46,371 --> 00:50:48,373 No, he doesn't. He's kidding. Bro, shut up. 1092 00:50:48,407 --> 00:50:49,876 - A dime bag? Twenty? - No, no. Leave. Leave. He's kidding. 1093 00:50:49,909 --> 00:50:52,377 He's kidding. He's kidding. Go take a nap. 1094 00:50:52,411 --> 00:50:54,647 - But I do. - Just be quiet. Just stop. 1095 00:51:03,890 --> 00:51:06,224 I'm gonna watch you all night, motherfucker. 1096 00:51:37,023 --> 00:51:39,524 Don't invite him in. 1097 00:51:47,967 --> 00:51:49,869 Oh, shit. 1098 00:51:55,540 --> 00:51:56,709 Give me your money. 1099 00:51:56,743 --> 00:51:58,376 Please don't hurt me. 1100 00:51:58,410 --> 00:51:59,746 Please don't hurt... 1101 00:52:24,402 --> 00:52:26,438 Hi, Carl. 1102 00:52:32,577 --> 00:52:34,781 No. 1103 00:52:36,048 --> 00:52:37,884 No. I'm being serious. 1104 00:52:37,917 --> 00:52:41,788 I'm telling you, it's been an interesting week and I apologize. 1105 00:52:41,821 --> 00:52:44,857 I feel the timing of it all is pretty, um, special, 1106 00:52:44,891 --> 00:52:48,560 that you would... I don't know where you came from, but I appreciate it. 1107 00:52:48,593 --> 00:52:51,831 And I think it's important that we met tonight 1108 00:52:51,864 --> 00:52:54,000 because I wanted to really apologize for the other night. 1109 00:52:54,033 --> 00:52:56,669 I know my husband was in there tonight. 1110 00:52:56,702 --> 00:52:59,337 Is everything okay? Mamuwalde, right? 1111 00:52:59,371 --> 00:53:02,340 I have to, um, really get this out, 1112 00:53:02,374 --> 00:53:05,778 because I feel like I'm having a little bit of an out-of-body experience, 1113 00:53:05,812 --> 00:53:09,749 because I typically don't invite complete strangers into my house 1114 00:53:09,782 --> 00:53:13,019 to have a glass of wine. In this case... 1115 00:53:13,052 --> 00:53:14,954 Don't invite him in. 1116 00:53:19,091 --> 00:53:21,560 - Hey. - Thank you. I appreciate that. 1117 00:53:23,595 --> 00:53:24,964 What you doing? 1118 00:53:24,997 --> 00:53:26,732 Baby, hi. Hi. Were you sleeping? 1119 00:53:26,766 --> 00:53:29,869 What is he doing here? He's not supposed to be here. 1120 00:53:29,902 --> 00:53:32,772 Where are your manners, baby? This is Dr. Mamuwalde. 1121 00:53:32,805 --> 00:53:34,907 - Our neighbor from earlier... - I know what you doing! 1122 00:53:34,941 --> 00:53:36,776 Yes, where are your manners, baby? 1123 00:53:36,809 --> 00:53:38,744 He's not supposed to be in this house. 1124 00:53:38,778 --> 00:53:40,612 I invited him to have a glass of wine with me 1125 00:53:40,646 --> 00:53:42,380 because if anything, we owe him a thank you. 1126 00:53:42,414 --> 00:53:44,050 - I don't wanna hear all that. - If it wasn't for our neighbor, 1127 00:53:44,083 --> 00:53:45,651 I would have gotten mugged tonight. 1128 00:53:45,685 --> 00:53:47,787 You got mugged? 1129 00:53:47,820 --> 00:53:49,454 He swooped... Where did you come from? Where? How did you get there? 1130 00:53:49,487 --> 00:53:51,757 - Swooped. - What happened? 1131 00:53:51,791 --> 00:53:55,695 Fortunately for you, I happened to be in the area looking for a late-night snack 1132 00:53:55,728 --> 00:53:59,632 and happened to stumble upon your tastiness. 1133 00:53:59,665 --> 00:54:01,100 He's not supposed to be in our home. 1134 00:54:01,133 --> 00:54:03,435 He was not invited by no one. 1135 00:54:03,468 --> 00:54:05,503 Under ordinary circumstances, 1136 00:54:05,537 --> 00:54:07,707 Carl Black here would be right, 1137 00:54:07,740 --> 00:54:10,575 - but I was invited, Carl. - You know the rules. 1138 00:54:10,609 --> 00:54:13,112 - His kind is not invited in our house. - Listen... 1139 00:54:13,145 --> 00:54:15,480 - My kind? - Yeah. 1140 00:54:15,513 --> 00:54:19,051 That is a racist statement, Negro. 1141 00:54:19,085 --> 00:54:21,153 I'll have you know, 1142 00:54:21,187 --> 00:54:25,124 in this age of divisiveness and bigotry, 1143 00:54:25,157 --> 00:54:27,626 we can't do this to each other. 1144 00:54:28,794 --> 00:54:29,962 Sheesh! 1145 00:54:29,996 --> 00:54:32,131 Yes. Baby, listen, please just calm down. 1146 00:54:32,164 --> 00:54:34,166 We got a real live vampire in my house 1147 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:35,701 and you're telling me to calm down? 1148 00:54:35,735 --> 00:54:38,004 If I had a wife as fine as yours, 1149 00:54:38,037 --> 00:54:40,740 I'd never let her out of my sight. 1150 00:54:40,773 --> 00:54:43,175 Hey, man! What-what-what you doing? You can't do that, man. 1151 00:54:43,209 --> 00:54:44,911 What the fuck! What if I grab your hair, man? 1152 00:54:44,944 --> 00:54:48,613 Do not... 1153 00:54:48,648 --> 00:54:51,483 touch my hair, Carl Black. 1154 00:54:51,516 --> 00:54:52,885 You got two Bo Derek braids 1155 00:54:52,919 --> 00:54:54,452 hanging on both sides of your face 1156 00:54:54,486 --> 00:54:56,689 and you gon' touch on my girl's shit. 1157 00:54:56,722 --> 00:54:58,958 Baby, just calm down, okay? 1158 00:54:58,991 --> 00:55:01,060 Okay, that's enough. That's enough. 1159 00:55:01,093 --> 00:55:03,162 - Oh, I'm sorry. - What are you doing, Carl? 1160 00:55:03,195 --> 00:55:04,931 I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. 1161 00:55:04,964 --> 00:55:07,033 - Ouch! - You know I'm clumsy a little bit. 1162 00:55:28,586 --> 00:55:31,757 That looks exquisitely painful. 1163 00:55:31,791 --> 00:55:33,960 Ah-ah-ah. Go in there and rinse your arm off. 1164 00:55:33,993 --> 00:55:35,728 - I got it, Carl. I got it. - Yeah, you cut your hand 1165 00:55:35,761 --> 00:55:38,130 'cause you're standing up there reckless eyeballing. 1166 00:55:38,164 --> 00:55:39,699 I got it. Dr. Mamuwalde, 1167 00:55:39,732 --> 00:55:42,101 it was really, really nice to meet you. 1168 00:55:42,134 --> 00:55:44,569 - Well, go wash your hand, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Yeah, I'm... 1169 00:55:44,602 --> 00:55:45,738 Put a band-aid on it. 1170 00:55:45,771 --> 00:55:48,040 O-positive we'll see each other again. 1171 00:55:48,074 --> 00:55:51,010 Listen, you little neglected Harry Potter cast member, 1172 00:55:51,043 --> 00:55:52,945 let me tell you something. 1173 00:55:52,979 --> 00:55:56,182 That's my princess, and that's my wife, and I love her. 1174 00:55:56,215 --> 00:55:58,250 You're not going to destroy my family! 1175 00:55:58,284 --> 00:56:01,586 What do you intend to do about it, Carl Black? 1176 00:56:01,619 --> 00:56:03,923 Install my cable, motherfucker? 1177 00:56:03,956 --> 00:56:05,791 Nah. 1178 00:56:05,825 --> 00:56:10,595 I'm gonna pimp-slap the shit out of your ass, motherfucker! 1179 00:56:13,699 --> 00:56:15,001 Damn, you're strong! 1180 00:56:15,034 --> 00:56:18,804 Let me tell you a little story. 1181 00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:24,777 I've been looking for Lorena for centuries. 1182 00:56:24,810 --> 00:56:29,614 I first laid eyes on that fine young thing in the Caribbean. 1183 00:56:29,648 --> 00:56:33,085 Lost her, found her again. 1184 00:56:33,119 --> 00:56:37,790 I've seen all types of women in all shapes and sizes, 1185 00:56:37,823 --> 00:56:41,961 but none compare to the governor's daughter. 1186 00:56:41,994 --> 00:56:43,696 We were in love 1187 00:56:43,729 --> 00:56:46,899 and I was finally going to make her mine. 1188 00:57:00,212 --> 00:57:03,115 You were warned, vampire. 1189 00:57:03,983 --> 00:57:08,988 Tonight's the night that I send your soul to hell! 1190 00:57:09,021 --> 00:57:10,990 Demon! 1191 00:57:11,023 --> 00:57:13,726 Come, woman. 1192 00:57:13,759 --> 00:57:15,995 No. No. No! 1193 00:57:16,028 --> 00:57:18,998 They took the love of my life from me 1194 00:57:19,031 --> 00:57:23,202 and I have been looking for my Puerto Rican princess ever since. 1195 00:57:27,239 --> 00:57:30,709 Go to hell, vampire. 1196 00:57:34,246 --> 00:57:37,216 They took my life. 1197 00:57:39,952 --> 00:57:41,887 Man, that was a cool story! 1198 00:57:41,921 --> 00:57:46,659 But the real fact is, is that's my wife, and I love her. 1199 00:57:46,692 --> 00:57:48,260 And you're not gonna destroy my family. 1200 00:57:48,294 --> 00:57:51,864 You're doing a pretty good job of that yourself. 1201 00:57:51,897 --> 00:57:53,299 What the fuck? 1202 00:57:53,332 --> 00:57:55,234 She will be mine. 1203 00:57:58,671 --> 00:58:01,006 No, no! 1204 00:58:02,308 --> 00:58:03,876 Mine... 1205 00:58:03,909 --> 00:58:05,377 Carl Black! 1206 00:58:14,386 --> 00:58:17,323 The authorities are still in shambles 1207 00:58:17,356 --> 00:58:19,658 as they scurry about for clues 1208 00:58:19,692 --> 00:58:22,728 - in the murders of these prostitutes. - Wow. 1209 00:58:22,761 --> 00:58:26,098 If anyone out there has any information or any leads... 1210 00:58:26,132 --> 00:58:28,100 - Damn. - ...feel free 1211 00:58:28,134 --> 00:58:31,137 to DM me personally at jack... 1212 00:58:31,170 --> 00:58:33,706 Hey, babe. Hey, hey. 1213 00:58:33,739 --> 00:58:36,075 - How's your arm? - It's better. It's feeling good. 1214 00:58:36,108 --> 00:58:38,210 - I gotta go to work. What? - No! 1215 00:58:38,244 --> 00:58:39,712 - Why you gotta go to work? - Because you put me in this situation. 1216 00:58:39,745 --> 00:58:40,946 I got to go to work to pay the bills. 1217 00:58:40,980 --> 00:58:43,349 Let me pay you for the night. 1218 00:58:43,382 --> 00:58:45,751 You can't afford me for the night. 1219 00:58:47,019 --> 00:58:49,188 - Listen, I love you. - I know. 1220 00:58:49,221 --> 00:58:51,290 I-I just want to get you guys out of this neighborhood. 1221 00:58:51,323 --> 00:58:53,726 Okay. Wait, wait, call me crazy. 1222 00:58:53,759 --> 00:58:55,961 I-I'm just throwing this out there. 1223 00:58:55,995 --> 00:58:58,430 I'm having second thoughts about selling the house. 1224 00:58:58,464 --> 00:59:00,132 - What? - I don't know, 1225 00:59:00,166 --> 00:59:02,168 ever since I met the neighbor last night, 1226 00:59:02,201 --> 00:59:05,471 - the way that he was helping me or the way that he... - Hey, hey. 1227 00:59:05,504 --> 00:59:08,941 - No, but maybe it's not such a bad neighborhood, babe. - No, no, no, no, no. No! 1228 00:59:08,974 --> 00:59:10,910 - Wait, wait. He's a nice guy. - Baby, listen. No! That... no. 1229 00:59:10,943 --> 00:59:13,279 He's not no fucking nice... what did I tell you about liking people? 1230 00:59:13,312 --> 00:59:15,381 - Liking? - You always liking somebody. 1231 00:59:15,414 --> 00:59:17,716 - No! Hey! - He saved me. 1232 00:59:17,750 --> 00:59:19,251 Relax. Let's put this to rest 1233 00:59:19,285 --> 00:59:20,953 until I come home from work tonight, okay? 1234 00:59:20,986 --> 00:59:22,755 And we can talk about it then. 1235 00:59:22,788 --> 00:59:25,224 - I got something I want to tell you. - What? 1236 00:59:25,257 --> 00:59:26,859 The next-door neighbor... 1237 00:59:26,892 --> 00:59:28,427 - Yeah? - He's a vampire. 1238 00:59:28,460 --> 00:59:29,962 A vampire. 1239 00:59:29,995 --> 00:59:31,463 - He's a fucking vampire. - Okay. 1240 00:59:31,497 --> 00:59:33,465 A vampire. You're crazy. 1241 00:59:33,499 --> 00:59:34,733 You're just jealous. 1242 00:59:38,137 --> 00:59:41,240 Cronut, let me in. There's a vampire living next door. 1243 00:59:56,355 --> 00:59:57,790 Cronut? 1244 01:00:02,328 --> 01:00:03,295 Eww. 1245 01:00:09,501 --> 01:00:12,004 What's wrong with you? Die, vampire! 1246 01:00:12,037 --> 01:00:14,907 - Die, vampire! Die! - Let me go. Let me go. Let me go! 1247 01:00:14,940 --> 01:00:17,042 Get up off of me, man. 1248 01:00:17,076 --> 01:00:18,944 Fuck you doing in my house all uninvited? I didn't invite you in here. 1249 01:00:18,978 --> 01:00:20,446 Why you sneaking up on me like that? 1250 01:00:20,479 --> 01:00:22,915 Why am I sneaking up on you? This is my house! 1251 01:00:22,948 --> 01:00:24,149 Fuck you doing up in my house? 1252 01:00:24,183 --> 01:00:25,451 I thought you won't fuck with me no more. 1253 01:00:25,484 --> 01:00:26,885 Whoa. 1254 01:00:26,919 --> 01:00:28,220 Why you got them damn glasses on? 1255 01:00:28,254 --> 01:00:29,788 Why you care? You don't like 'em? 1256 01:00:29,822 --> 01:00:31,056 They don't go with my 'fit? 1257 01:00:31,090 --> 01:00:32,825 - No. - What... what you want? 1258 01:00:32,858 --> 01:00:35,294 Shit. I, well, I just... 1259 01:00:35,327 --> 01:00:37,096 Hey, man, look. 1260 01:00:37,129 --> 01:00:38,831 All right. You was right. 1261 01:00:38,864 --> 01:00:41,300 We do have a creature living next door to us. 1262 01:00:41,333 --> 01:00:43,068 It's a real vampire, man. 1263 01:00:43,102 --> 01:00:44,403 I seen his teeth! 1264 01:00:44,436 --> 01:00:47,473 I thought you was lying at first, but he's real. 1265 01:00:47,506 --> 01:00:50,309 And he already got Allie, and I don't want him to get my wife! 1266 01:00:50,342 --> 01:00:52,111 And? 1267 01:00:52,144 --> 01:00:54,880 And that's about the closest to an apology you gon' get. 1268 01:00:54,913 --> 01:00:56,849 I've been doing my research 1269 01:00:56,882 --> 01:00:58,484 and what I came up with? 1270 01:00:58,517 --> 01:01:00,252 That house right over there? 1271 01:01:00,286 --> 01:01:02,554 It's a master vampire over there, and that's the nest. 1272 01:01:02,588 --> 01:01:04,056 And we should kill him. 1273 01:01:04,089 --> 01:01:06,292 - What? - We should kill him. 1274 01:01:06,325 --> 01:01:08,494 We, we. That's French. We? 1275 01:01:08,527 --> 01:01:11,397 Yes, it is we. Ain't no I in us. 1276 01:01:11,430 --> 01:01:14,967 It's we. Me and you. We family. 1277 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,202 Yeah. Whatever. 1278 01:01:17,236 --> 01:01:19,071 We should kill that motherfucker. 1279 01:01:19,104 --> 01:01:20,939 Let's bury him in the ground, man. 1280 01:01:20,973 --> 01:01:22,241 Just leave his head out 1281 01:01:22,274 --> 01:01:24,243 and just kick him in the head all day. 1282 01:01:24,276 --> 01:01:26,278 Check this out. What's my name? 1283 01:01:26,312 --> 01:01:28,347 - Cronut. - No, what's my real name? 1284 01:01:28,380 --> 01:01:30,249 - Man, look, man. Stop playing. - Mr. what? 1285 01:01:30,282 --> 01:01:32,051 - Mister? - Mr. Right. 1286 01:01:32,084 --> 01:01:34,953 Mr. Right. You want to get rid of the vampire? 1287 01:01:34,987 --> 01:01:37,890 - Yeah. - Trust me. I made a call. 1288 01:01:41,093 --> 01:01:43,062 - Who is that? Is that Barack Obama? - Trust me. 1289 01:01:43,095 --> 01:01:45,331 Not quite, but close. 1290 01:01:50,169 --> 01:01:51,070 Oooh. 1291 01:01:53,906 --> 01:01:58,243 Oh. Did you see that African booty scratcher come out of there? 1292 01:01:58,277 --> 01:01:59,578 - Yes. - No! 1293 01:01:59,611 --> 01:02:01,914 - Yes. - Why'd you call him? 1294 01:02:01,947 --> 01:02:03,449 - Just trust me. - Oh, man. 1295 01:02:03,482 --> 01:02:05,417 - Have I ever let you down? - Yeah, a million times. 1296 01:02:05,451 --> 01:02:07,386 Don't worry about that. That don't count. 1297 01:02:07,419 --> 01:02:09,555 - Oh, man. Look how he dressed. - It looks crazy. 1298 01:02:09,588 --> 01:02:11,190 - Don't worry about it. - Whoopi Goldberg. 1299 01:02:11,223 --> 01:02:13,525 - You smell a vampire? - Not yet, wait. 1300 01:02:13,559 --> 01:02:16,395 Right now, I smell fear. 1301 01:02:16,428 --> 01:02:19,498 - Fear? - And I smell broke-ass-ness 1302 01:02:19,531 --> 01:02:21,367 coming from this direction. 1303 01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:24,136 - Broke-ass-ness? - No, you smell your bottom lip. 1304 01:02:24,169 --> 01:02:25,604 Last but not least, I smell... 1305 01:02:28,407 --> 01:02:30,509 two bitch-ass niggas. 1306 01:02:30,542 --> 01:02:33,212 That's why you called me to save you like I did the Purge. 1307 01:02:33,245 --> 01:02:34,947 Saved me? You ain't saved me from nothin'! 1308 01:02:34,980 --> 01:02:37,049 You better take your Black ass off. 1309 01:02:37,082 --> 01:02:39,151 - Punk bitch nigga, you owe me money! - I don't owe you nothin'. 1310 01:02:39,184 --> 01:02:41,387 You little dick bitch. You pee on your boss. 1311 01:02:41,420 --> 01:02:44,022 - Fuck you too. - I hope your wife get pregnant again 1312 01:02:44,056 --> 01:02:45,958 and I hope the baby is not yours. 1313 01:02:45,991 --> 01:02:46,992 You kiss my ass! 1314 01:02:47,025 --> 01:02:48,327 Your mother, your grandfather, 1315 01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,229 your uncles are all the same nigga. 1316 01:02:50,262 --> 01:02:51,997 I know you work for that cab company. 1317 01:02:52,030 --> 01:02:53,700 You need to get back in there and drive that cab, so... 1318 01:02:53,733 --> 01:02:55,367 - Carl Black, you owe me money! - Hey, hey, hey. 1319 01:02:55,401 --> 01:02:57,369 Calm down, calm down. I got it. I got it, calm down. 1320 01:02:57,403 --> 01:02:59,271 - This nigga is pissing me off. - If you calm down a little 1321 01:02:59,304 --> 01:03:01,373 - for a second. Look... - Don't you hit my head. 1322 01:03:01,407 --> 01:03:03,542 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 1323 01:03:03,575 --> 01:03:06,178 Look, I promised him I'd show him some crazy spooky shit 1324 01:03:06,211 --> 01:03:08,648 if I recorded it and put it on his live TV show. 1325 01:03:08,681 --> 01:03:10,282 - On YouTube? - Yeah. 1326 01:03:10,315 --> 01:03:11,517 - You ain't got no followers. - He's popular. 1327 01:03:11,550 --> 01:03:13,653 Five hundred thousand subscribers. 1328 01:03:13,686 --> 01:03:16,054 I got a live vampire livin' next door to me. 1329 01:03:16,088 --> 01:03:17,022 That's what I got. 1330 01:03:17,055 --> 01:03:18,524 Nigga, that's why I'm here. 1331 01:03:18,557 --> 01:03:19,992 - That's why I brought these! - Hey, hey! 1332 01:03:20,025 --> 01:03:21,661 Put your leftovers down, man. 1333 01:03:21,694 --> 01:03:25,330 You must listen to me because I am a vampire slayer. 1334 01:03:25,364 --> 01:03:27,366 The vampires are very dangerous. 1335 01:03:27,399 --> 01:03:29,401 They will kill you. 1336 01:03:29,435 --> 01:03:32,639 He will suck your blood. He could be after your wife. 1337 01:03:32,672 --> 01:03:35,007 You have a wife. I know that. I've seen her. 1338 01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:36,643 She have a nice ass. No disrespect. 1339 01:03:36,676 --> 01:03:38,610 Tell me about these niggas, please. What did he look like? 1340 01:03:38,645 --> 01:03:40,612 He's bite-size, he's real short. 1341 01:03:40,647 --> 01:03:42,147 How short is he? 1342 01:03:42,181 --> 01:03:44,116 He's short. He's... he's, you know, he's... 1343 01:03:44,149 --> 01:03:45,617 Between you and this nigga, where is he? 1344 01:03:45,652 --> 01:03:47,219 Like this way? This way? That way? Under the table? 1345 01:03:47,252 --> 01:03:48,987 - Pocket size. - Pocket size nigga? 1346 01:03:49,021 --> 01:03:50,556 He got like a little perm. 1347 01:03:50,589 --> 01:03:52,759 He looked like that little man on the dime. 1348 01:03:52,792 --> 01:03:54,493 - What dime? - The dime. 1349 01:03:54,526 --> 01:03:56,562 - The dime, motherfucker. The dime. - Dime. Ten cents. 1350 01:03:56,595 --> 01:03:58,363 Ten cents a day, like what you eat. 1351 01:03:58,397 --> 01:04:00,365 Shut the fuck up, little bitch nigga. Fuck you. 1352 01:04:00,399 --> 01:04:03,035 If I had a choice between the vampires, 1353 01:04:03,068 --> 01:04:05,504 the devil and Donald Trump, 1354 01:04:05,537 --> 01:04:07,573 I would take Donald Trump. 1355 01:04:07,606 --> 01:04:11,410 The question is now he's trying to take your family away, 1356 01:04:11,443 --> 01:04:13,512 - what are you are gonna do? - Hey, hey, hey! 1357 01:04:13,545 --> 01:04:15,682 We're not the vampire. You don't have to keep putting that on us. 1358 01:04:15,715 --> 01:04:18,617 Don't be a bitch! If I want to talk to a little nigga, 1359 01:04:18,651 --> 01:04:20,252 I go to Chuck E. Cheese. 1360 01:04:22,087 --> 01:04:24,056 Either you gon' help me, or you gon' help me, 1361 01:04:24,089 --> 01:04:25,324 somebody's gonna help me 1362 01:04:25,357 --> 01:04:26,659 or I'm going up in there with a wooden thing 1363 01:04:26,693 --> 01:04:28,627 - and I'm gonna stab him in the... - Mm. 1364 01:04:28,661 --> 01:04:31,731 I'm telling you! You know how... I'm going up in there and... 1365 01:04:31,764 --> 01:04:33,499 Hey! 1366 01:04:33,532 --> 01:04:35,567 - You guys are crazier'n shit! - Who the fuck is that? 1367 01:04:37,603 --> 01:04:40,105 Carl Black, I'm all you have. 1368 01:04:40,138 --> 01:04:42,274 You must save your wife 1369 01:04:42,307 --> 01:04:44,109 before it's too late. 1370 01:05:06,164 --> 01:05:07,432 Fellas, listen to me. 1371 01:05:07,466 --> 01:05:10,335 The vampire is very tricky and old. 1372 01:05:10,369 --> 01:05:14,339 It has survived many centuries because he's smart. 1373 01:05:14,373 --> 01:05:17,777 Much smarter than your stupid ignorant ass, Carl Black. 1374 01:05:17,810 --> 01:05:21,480 That insidious bastard is a master vampire. 1375 01:05:21,513 --> 01:05:23,382 A master vampire? 1376 01:05:23,415 --> 01:05:27,519 He's not to be played with. That means he has companions. 1377 01:05:27,553 --> 01:05:30,222 - Companions? - We have a lot more to deal with. 1378 01:05:30,255 --> 01:05:31,691 You have to get to know your enemy. 1379 01:05:31,724 --> 01:05:33,258 I thought I knew him. 1380 01:05:33,292 --> 01:05:34,861 And how about his crew? Do you know them? 1381 01:05:34,894 --> 01:05:37,630 His crew? What? The butler? 1382 01:05:37,664 --> 01:05:41,266 Butler?! That's not a butler! That's his ghoul! 1383 01:05:41,300 --> 01:05:42,702 What is a ghoul? 1384 01:05:42,735 --> 01:05:45,672 This is not the time to be a bitch, Carl Black. 1385 01:05:45,705 --> 01:05:48,307 A ghoul is very dangerous. 1386 01:05:48,340 --> 01:05:50,542 - What about those fine-ass girls he had in there? - Yeah. They was fine. 1387 01:05:50,576 --> 01:05:52,679 - Cronut! - I liked them. 1388 01:05:52,712 --> 01:05:56,148 Those are not average fine-ass girls. 1389 01:05:56,181 --> 01:05:59,251 Those are his bodyguards. They are murderous. 1390 01:05:59,284 --> 01:06:00,720 What? 1391 01:06:00,753 --> 01:06:03,255 The more beautiful they are, the more dangerous. 1392 01:06:03,288 --> 01:06:05,725 This is getting more serious than I imagined. 1393 01:06:05,758 --> 01:06:08,393 What's this shit? It was addressed to him. 1394 01:06:08,427 --> 01:06:10,362 He got a little chain on. He got your same facial structure... 1395 01:06:10,395 --> 01:06:12,732 Don't be a dick face. Give me that. 1396 01:06:22,307 --> 01:06:24,744 It is nothing. Just some stupid fucking doll. 1397 01:06:24,777 --> 01:06:26,578 - Put it away. - Are you sure? 1398 01:06:26,612 --> 01:06:28,146 How we going to kill this motherfucker? 1399 01:06:28,180 --> 01:06:29,816 - Dad. Dad. I got an idea. - What? 1400 01:06:29,849 --> 01:06:32,250 I turned the Purge bats into stakes. 1401 01:06:32,284 --> 01:06:34,353 If you stab a vampire with it, it'll die. 1402 01:06:34,386 --> 01:06:37,690 Shut up! This is why I'm here. 1403 01:06:37,724 --> 01:06:40,760 We have to kill the vampire! 1404 01:06:57,476 --> 01:07:00,312 Why you wipe my kisses off like that? 1405 01:07:00,345 --> 01:07:02,247 Baby, because you put too much lip gloss on. 1406 01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:04,416 - No, I don't. - Yeah, you do, and then my shit 1407 01:07:04,449 --> 01:07:06,284 - be all glittery for the rest of the day. - Shut up. I do it for you 1408 01:07:06,318 --> 01:07:08,220 - when I'm around you. Whatever. - Use Chapstick. 1409 01:07:08,253 --> 01:07:09,822 - You cute. You fine and all, baby. - Whatever. 1410 01:07:09,856 --> 01:07:11,423 Give me a little bit of head now. 1411 01:07:11,456 --> 01:07:12,624 - What? - I'm just saying, 1412 01:07:12,659 --> 01:07:14,493 like, I wanna get a little bit of head... 1413 01:07:14,526 --> 01:07:15,828 We're in front of my parents' house. Are you serious? 1414 01:07:15,862 --> 01:07:17,529 Baby, they're sleeping a little bit. 1415 01:07:17,562 --> 01:07:19,331 - Babe. - Come on, baby. 1416 01:07:19,364 --> 01:07:20,933 - Just a little bit of head. - Stop playing all the time. 1417 01:07:20,967 --> 01:07:23,201 - Baby, my-my legs. I'm-I'm paralyzed. - Stop. 1418 01:07:23,235 --> 01:07:25,604 That's the least you could do, community service. 1419 01:07:25,638 --> 01:07:27,272 Let me get a little bit of community head. 1420 01:07:27,305 --> 01:07:28,607 Shut up. We need to talk. 1421 01:07:28,641 --> 01:07:29,976 Talk about what? Baby, look, 1422 01:07:30,009 --> 01:07:31,911 talk with my dick in your mouth a little bit. 1423 01:07:31,944 --> 01:07:33,612 - I don't mean to be disrespectful. - Wait, wait. Listen. 1424 01:07:33,646 --> 01:07:35,580 Listen to what? 1425 01:07:35,614 --> 01:07:37,449 - Baby. - Did you hear that? 1426 01:07:37,482 --> 01:07:38,718 The only thing you need to listen to is... 1427 01:07:38,751 --> 01:07:41,754 Listen! 1428 01:07:42,822 --> 01:07:43,956 The fuck was that? 1429 01:07:46,693 --> 01:07:49,327 Shit! Oh, shit! 1430 01:07:49,361 --> 01:07:50,797 - What is that? - Ooh. 1431 01:07:50,830 --> 01:07:51,731 Oh, my God. 1432 01:07:54,332 --> 01:07:56,636 Freezee! Freezee! 1433 01:07:56,669 --> 01:07:58,738 That was Allie. 1434 01:07:58,771 --> 01:08:00,338 Time to get the fuck out. 1435 01:08:02,574 --> 01:08:03,743 What just happened? 1436 01:08:03,776 --> 01:08:05,544 I don't know. I just heard screams, man. 1437 01:08:05,577 --> 01:08:08,313 He made the first move. He has taken your daughter. 1438 01:08:08,346 --> 01:08:10,016 It's all fucked up, man. 1439 01:08:10,049 --> 01:08:12,551 I didn't know they had Allie, too. I like Allie! But there's more. 1440 01:08:12,584 --> 01:08:14,486 - Well, tell us more. - Yeah, you better say something 1441 01:08:14,519 --> 01:08:16,656 - before we take your banana bike, nigga. - Come on now. 1442 01:08:16,689 --> 01:08:18,590 The vampires, man, they got me. 1443 01:08:18,623 --> 01:08:20,392 See that house next door? 1444 01:08:20,425 --> 01:08:23,663 They havin' a big-ass vampire party up there, man. 1445 01:08:23,696 --> 01:08:25,497 Dracula kind of blushin'. 1446 01:08:25,530 --> 01:08:28,835 They said when it's over, they gonna kill everybody. 1447 01:08:28,868 --> 01:08:30,502 - Oh, God. - Shit. 1448 01:08:30,535 --> 01:08:32,337 Things all fucked up around here, man. 1449 01:08:32,370 --> 01:08:34,841 Not me. They ain't gonna get me. 1450 01:08:34,874 --> 01:08:36,743 They ain't gonna get me! 1451 01:08:37,877 --> 01:08:39,344 Come back here! 1452 01:08:39,377 --> 01:08:42,982 Fuck that! I'm a real snitch! 1453 01:08:43,015 --> 01:08:45,785 Those vampires done bit me. 1454 01:08:47,019 --> 01:08:48,054 Did you hear that? 1455 01:08:48,087 --> 01:08:49,756 Yeah, you saw how he took off? 1456 01:08:49,789 --> 01:08:52,357 This is exactly what the monster wants. 1457 01:08:52,390 --> 01:08:53,726 He wants you to attack him at night, 1458 01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:56,763 when he's strongest. Don't fall for it. 1459 01:08:56,796 --> 01:08:59,031 What am I supposed to do? I got a wife and a daughter over there. 1460 01:08:59,065 --> 01:09:01,366 Just wait till the daytime, when he's weak. 1461 01:09:01,399 --> 01:09:02,869 - And then we kill him. - No, no, no, no. 1462 01:09:02,902 --> 01:09:04,302 If you wait till the morning, 1463 01:09:04,336 --> 01:09:06,371 Lorena and Allie will be vampires. 1464 01:09:06,404 --> 01:09:08,841 - Oh. - Junior, I love you to death. 1465 01:09:08,875 --> 01:09:10,843 They already got your sister in there. 1466 01:09:10,877 --> 01:09:13,679 They're trying to get your mama. This is a good neighborhood 1467 01:09:13,713 --> 01:09:15,982 and I'm here to protect it, because I'm Carl Black. 1468 01:09:16,015 --> 01:09:18,885 And I'm Cronut. We ride together, we die together! 1469 01:09:18,918 --> 01:09:20,720 Go lock up the house. 1470 01:09:20,753 --> 01:09:24,023 We need the right weapons to kill this vampire. 1471 01:09:24,056 --> 01:09:25,992 - I made a phone call. - Who you call? 1472 01:09:26,025 --> 01:09:28,027 - Mr. Saturday Night. - What? 1473 01:09:28,060 --> 01:09:30,062 He knows everything about killing vampires. 1474 01:09:30,096 --> 01:09:31,596 Saturday Night? 1475 01:09:31,631 --> 01:09:34,466 I met him last Friday at Fat Tuesday's. 1476 01:09:34,499 --> 01:09:36,468 Let's go. It's war. 1477 01:09:44,543 --> 01:09:46,646 Friends, let me do all the talking. 1478 01:09:48,446 --> 01:09:50,883 I've seen this guy kill lots of people. 1479 01:09:50,917 --> 01:09:52,819 Don't do no bitch shit now. 1480 01:10:01,093 --> 01:10:02,028 Let's go. 1481 01:10:07,099 --> 01:10:09,836 He's the only one to kill vampires. 1482 01:10:09,869 --> 01:10:11,904 He'll give us all the weapons. 1483 01:10:13,471 --> 01:10:14,707 Just stay calm. 1484 01:10:16,541 --> 01:10:18,443 I believe in God, first and foremost. 1485 01:10:18,476 --> 01:10:19,879 So we huntin' vampires. 1486 01:10:19,912 --> 01:10:22,081 - I'm scared. - What you scared of? 1487 01:10:22,114 --> 01:10:23,448 He looks like The Undertaker. 1488 01:10:23,481 --> 01:10:25,450 I may not have what you want, 1489 01:10:25,483 --> 01:10:26,886 but I got just what you need. 1490 01:10:26,919 --> 01:10:28,087 Holy shit. 1491 01:10:29,621 --> 01:10:31,724 - You ain't playin'. - No, he's not. 1492 01:10:31,757 --> 01:10:33,860 - Damn! - You're gonna like this. 1493 01:10:35,427 --> 01:10:36,929 Whoa. 1494 01:10:36,963 --> 01:10:38,831 - Oh, that's cool. I like that. - That's alkaline water. 1495 01:10:38,865 --> 01:10:40,132 Alkaline? It's holy water! 1496 01:10:40,166 --> 01:10:42,068 Joel Osteen holy water. 1497 01:10:42,101 --> 01:10:43,803 It kind got a pineapple taste to it. 1498 01:10:43,836 --> 01:10:49,108 Since we have vampires, I got us some UV sunlight. 1499 01:10:49,141 --> 01:10:51,978 Hey, hey, hey. 1500 01:10:54,247 --> 01:10:56,481 You're Black, motherfucker. It don't work as well. 1501 01:10:56,514 --> 01:10:58,017 Nigga, I can't see now. 1502 01:10:58,050 --> 01:11:01,020 They say short motherfuckers love to get freaky, 1503 01:11:01,053 --> 01:11:04,156 so I brought this just for you. 1504 01:11:04,190 --> 01:11:06,591 My boy. You know me, don't you? 1505 01:11:06,625 --> 01:11:08,493 - Not really. - Is this real leather? 1506 01:11:08,526 --> 01:11:10,162 - Not really. - I'm wearing this. 1507 01:11:10,196 --> 01:11:12,131 Look at that. Look, look, look, look. 1508 01:11:12,164 --> 01:11:14,867 When y'all really ready to take out some motherfuckers... 1509 01:11:14,901 --> 01:11:16,068 Ooh. 1510 01:11:16,102 --> 01:11:18,137 - This what I pull out. - Shit. 1511 01:11:18,170 --> 01:11:21,040 - God is great. - All the time. 1512 01:11:22,108 --> 01:11:23,575 If it ain't a Jesus. 1513 01:11:23,608 --> 01:11:25,678 You got a calling, Carl. You put that on. 1514 01:11:25,711 --> 01:11:27,747 - Me? - You put that on. 1515 01:11:30,049 --> 01:11:31,684 God gon' protect you. 1516 01:11:33,618 --> 01:11:35,054 There's something I want to show you. 1517 01:11:37,056 --> 01:11:39,158 That look like Leslie Jones' dildo. 1518 01:11:39,191 --> 01:11:41,093 Oh. 1519 01:11:41,127 --> 01:11:43,095 - Nigga... - Hey, wait, wait, man. 1520 01:11:43,129 --> 01:11:44,462 - I think... I think he just stabbed me, he just... - Stop it. 1521 01:11:44,496 --> 01:11:45,597 I felt it in my... in my body. 1522 01:11:45,631 --> 01:11:47,199 No, you're cool. Don't be bitches. 1523 01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:49,201 You look like you know what's goin' on. 1524 01:11:49,235 --> 01:11:51,503 I know exactly what's goin' on. 1525 01:12:00,079 --> 01:12:02,014 Nigga, you're illuminati. I see you. 1526 01:12:02,048 --> 01:12:03,515 Enough of that. 1527 01:12:04,417 --> 01:12:07,552 - Thank you, Mr. Friday the 13th. - It's Saturday. 1528 01:12:07,585 --> 01:12:08,988 Nigga, this nigga Friday the 13th. 1529 01:12:09,021 --> 01:12:11,523 This nigga's... nigga! All right, cool, cool. 1530 01:12:11,556 --> 01:12:12,792 You keep doing your thing. 1531 01:12:15,861 --> 01:12:17,730 That nigga's on some Harry Potter shit. 1532 01:12:17,763 --> 01:12:19,832 It's cool, really. I know the nigga. 1533 01:13:01,974 --> 01:13:04,609 This motherfucker lit! 1534 01:13:04,643 --> 01:13:07,079 They know how to party here. 1535 01:13:07,113 --> 01:13:09,749 We gotta find Allie. 1536 01:13:09,782 --> 01:13:11,150 Damn, man, I'm staying right here. 1537 01:13:11,183 --> 01:13:13,019 I think I feel good right here. 1538 01:13:21,660 --> 01:13:24,096 Cronut! Go that way. 1539 01:13:35,674 --> 01:13:38,944 ...with three people dragging someone. 1540 01:13:38,978 --> 01:13:41,047 - Neighborhood, somebody. - Harrison. 1541 01:13:41,080 --> 01:13:43,282 - This is Harrison. - Do you guys need a backup unit? 1542 01:13:43,315 --> 01:13:45,117 No, I'm good, Captain. I mean, 1543 01:13:45,151 --> 01:13:46,919 this shit making me a little nervous for real, man. 1544 01:13:46,952 --> 01:13:48,921 I mean, we back down to this spooky-ass house. 1545 01:13:48,954 --> 01:13:50,890 We just left here a couple of days ago. 1546 01:13:50,923 --> 01:13:52,624 Listen, I don't want to be no cop. 1547 01:13:52,658 --> 01:13:54,693 I just thought pieces of shit dropped-dropped big time. 1548 01:13:54,727 --> 01:13:56,295 Man. My man is shitting on himself. 1549 01:13:56,328 --> 01:13:58,130 This shit is spooky out here, Captain. 1550 01:13:58,164 --> 01:14:00,833 I mean, shit, there's all kinds of noises out here 1551 01:14:00,866 --> 01:14:03,235 and fucking some... some wind and shit. Can y'all... 1552 01:14:03,269 --> 01:14:04,737 I don't got the heart for this. 1553 01:14:04,770 --> 01:14:05,905 Harrison, is everything okay? 1554 01:14:05,938 --> 01:14:07,706 What's wrong? You're supposed to be... 1555 01:14:07,740 --> 01:14:09,607 You're supposed to be hard. You're acting scared. 1556 01:14:09,642 --> 01:14:11,710 - What's wrong? Harry, what's wrong? - Harrison. 1557 01:14:11,744 --> 01:14:13,712 I thought you had all the tricks and now you're acting like a bitch. 1558 01:14:13,746 --> 01:14:15,181 Harrison. 1559 01:14:18,951 --> 01:14:21,020 A bite of crime 'bout to bite you, nigga. 1560 01:14:37,236 --> 01:14:40,806 I'm not a vampire. My name's Allie, Allie Black. 1561 01:14:40,840 --> 01:14:42,341 I live next door. 1562 01:14:42,374 --> 01:14:46,412 If you could just get me out of this, it would... 1563 01:14:46,445 --> 01:14:48,214 Okay. Look, my... my... 1564 01:14:48,247 --> 01:14:52,418 Can you ask Dr.Mama-tunday-wanday to come here? 1565 01:14:52,451 --> 01:14:55,955 Damn. 1566 01:15:04,096 --> 01:15:06,699 What the fuck was that? 1567 01:15:08,834 --> 01:15:11,003 Shut up. 1568 01:15:13,205 --> 01:15:15,708 Don't talk. 1569 01:15:15,741 --> 01:15:17,276 What the fuck is your problem? Shut up. 1570 01:15:21,147 --> 01:15:25,251 Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Hey. 1571 01:15:55,080 --> 01:15:57,816 - What? - That was a silver metal nigga. 1572 01:15:57,850 --> 01:16:00,186 Oh, God. A silver metal nigga? 1573 01:16:00,219 --> 01:16:02,054 Silver metal. Not a regular nigga. 1574 01:16:02,087 --> 01:16:03,422 Metal nigga? 1575 01:16:03,455 --> 01:16:05,824 There are more of them niggas around. Trust me. 1576 01:16:08,928 --> 01:16:10,396 - Oh, shit. - Whoo-whoo. 1577 01:16:11,530 --> 01:16:12,965 Oh, God. 1578 01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:16,135 Please don't hurt me. 1579 01:16:18,003 --> 01:16:20,272 Please, Mr. knight in big, black armor. 1580 01:16:20,306 --> 01:16:21,941 - Oooh. - Oh, my God. 1581 01:16:21,974 --> 01:16:24,343 Oh, my God. 1582 01:16:24,376 --> 01:16:28,414 - Shh. - Mmm. 1583 01:16:28,447 --> 01:16:30,015 - It's Cronut, baby! - What?! 1584 01:16:30,049 --> 01:16:32,251 - I got you, didn't I? - Cronut... Cronut... 1585 01:16:32,284 --> 01:16:33,852 - You didn't even know it was me, did you? - Cronut! Get me out of here. 1586 01:16:33,886 --> 01:16:35,387 - You gotta untie me out, please. - Yeah. 1587 01:16:35,421 --> 01:16:37,389 You're as fine as a motherfucker. 1588 01:16:37,423 --> 01:16:39,225 - When did you grow up? - Cronut, shut... Shut the fuck up! 1589 01:16:39,258 --> 01:16:41,160 If you like it, we second cousins, we ain't no kin, so we can... 1590 01:16:41,193 --> 01:16:43,796 Are you serious right now? Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna tell Daddy. 1591 01:16:43,829 --> 01:16:45,998 Oh, shit, man. 1592 01:16:46,031 --> 01:16:48,467 Now I know why the vampire wanted her. 1593 01:16:48,500 --> 01:16:52,338 Oh, hell no! That's my baby. 1594 01:16:53,572 --> 01:16:58,277 Baby, please wake up. Wake up, baby. Oh... 1595 01:16:58,310 --> 01:17:00,312 God. 1596 01:17:00,346 --> 01:17:01,513 - Get your damn hands off! Don't touch my lady! - Jesus, fuck. 1597 01:17:01,547 --> 01:17:03,115 He's in there, trying to kill us. 1598 01:17:03,148 --> 01:17:04,850 What the fuck is you in this shit for 1599 01:17:04,883 --> 01:17:06,418 - in the first place? - I was trying to escape. 1600 01:17:06,452 --> 01:17:08,020 I was going with Freezee. 1601 01:17:08,053 --> 01:17:09,255 That's what getting hot in the ass get you. 1602 01:17:09,288 --> 01:17:10,389 Hurry up and get me the fuck out of here. 1603 01:17:14,093 --> 01:17:15,194 All right. Let's go. 1604 01:17:15,227 --> 01:17:16,962 - What? Oh, oh! - My feet. 1605 01:17:16,996 --> 01:17:18,497 I was going with Freezee and I don't even know where he is. 1606 01:17:18,530 --> 01:17:20,099 Yeah, there it is, right... 1607 01:17:20,132 --> 01:17:21,333 - Stop looking at me. - Shut the fuck... shh. 1608 01:17:21,367 --> 01:17:25,371 Please come back to life. 1609 01:17:25,404 --> 01:17:28,574 Please, baby, I want some of that pussy again. 1610 01:17:28,607 --> 01:17:31,243 I mean, I love you again. I swear I love you. 1611 01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:36,148 Carl? Carl? 1612 01:17:37,349 --> 01:17:39,084 Jesus Christ, what happened? 1613 01:17:39,118 --> 01:17:40,853 I had the worst dream. 1614 01:17:40,886 --> 01:17:42,154 What did he do to you? 1615 01:17:42,187 --> 01:17:46,892 I was, uh, I was trying to bite you. 1616 01:17:46,925 --> 01:17:48,494 Carl, what's in my mouth? 1617 01:17:48,527 --> 01:17:49,862 You look like Blac Chyna. 1618 01:17:49,895 --> 01:17:51,430 Oh, stop. What's in my mouth? 1619 01:17:51,463 --> 01:17:53,532 I don't know, but I don't want no head no more. 1620 01:17:53,565 --> 01:17:55,034 What is this, Carl? What is this? 1621 01:17:55,067 --> 01:17:57,136 It look like a pimple on the mouth. 1622 01:18:00,939 --> 01:18:02,341 Where is Daddy at? Where is everybody? 1623 01:18:02,374 --> 01:18:03,976 They right here looking for your stupid ass. 1624 01:18:04,009 --> 01:18:05,144 But how we gonna get them? 1625 01:18:05,177 --> 01:18:06,278 All right. This is what we're gonna do. 1626 01:18:06,312 --> 01:18:08,213 All right. This me, this you. 1627 01:18:08,247 --> 01:18:09,848 - When I'm gonna say "hike," you're gonna throw the ball... - Right. 1628 01:18:09,882 --> 01:18:11,317 Nah, I don't like that play. 1629 01:18:11,350 --> 01:18:13,519 This is what we gon' do, ten yards cut... 1630 01:18:13,552 --> 01:18:15,421 - Are you playing football? - You-you want to get out of here or not? 1631 01:18:15,454 --> 01:18:17,389 - It doesn't work! Shut the fuck up. - Just let's go. 1632 01:18:28,967 --> 01:18:31,403 - No. - Calm down. No. 1633 01:18:31,437 --> 01:18:32,905 Don't you do your neck like that. 1634 01:18:32,938 --> 01:18:34,473 Calm down. 1635 01:18:37,076 --> 01:18:38,911 - Calm the fuck down. - Please, please. 1636 01:18:41,113 --> 01:18:44,917 No! Cronut, no! 1637 01:18:44,950 --> 01:18:46,452 Please. 1638 01:18:53,025 --> 01:18:55,961 Don't you do it, don't you do it. 1639 01:18:55,994 --> 01:18:58,464 No... 1640 01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:03,102 Mayweather. 1641 01:19:03,135 --> 01:19:04,236 He gave it like that. 1642 01:19:06,238 --> 01:19:08,107 Yeah! 1643 01:19:20,386 --> 01:19:23,656 I'm a vampire slayer. I'm like Blade. 1644 01:19:23,690 --> 01:19:25,157 - I did that. - You did what? 1645 01:19:25,190 --> 01:19:27,159 - I killed him. - No, I did that. I did... 1646 01:19:27,192 --> 01:19:28,494 - Really? - I'm Blade. Yeah, yeah. 1647 01:19:31,263 --> 01:19:33,065 Let's go find your dad. 1648 01:19:33,098 --> 01:19:35,567 Carl, I don't feel well. Tell me, where are we? 1649 01:19:35,601 --> 01:19:36,935 Lorena? 1650 01:19:38,237 --> 01:19:39,271 There he is! 1651 01:19:39,304 --> 01:19:40,305 Carl Black. 1652 01:19:41,373 --> 01:19:43,575 Release my beloved. 1653 01:19:43,609 --> 01:19:45,310 That's the nigga next door. 1654 01:19:45,344 --> 01:19:47,312 You don't mess with a man's wife! 1655 01:19:47,346 --> 01:19:48,981 That is our wife. 1656 01:19:49,014 --> 01:19:51,183 She is at least on a time share. 1657 01:19:51,216 --> 01:19:53,385 I've been waiting my whole life for you 1658 01:19:53,419 --> 01:19:58,658 to kill you, you punk-bitch, little ass, dick-looking bitch. 1659 01:19:58,691 --> 01:20:01,226 You call him a bitch? Come on. 1660 01:20:01,260 --> 01:20:03,663 We ain't finna be too many more bitches up in here now. You better watch your mouth. 1661 01:20:03,696 --> 01:20:06,331 Listen here, Black Baltimore Raven. 1662 01:20:06,365 --> 01:20:11,136 You will no longer disparage my household. 1663 01:20:11,170 --> 01:20:12,371 Hit him with that juice. 1664 01:20:16,442 --> 01:20:19,378 Hit him again. Damn, let me see your shit. 1665 01:20:19,411 --> 01:20:21,613 Man, that's mango juice you're throwing on that man. 1666 01:20:21,648 --> 01:20:23,248 Why this nigga is not dying? 1667 01:20:23,282 --> 01:20:25,350 - Why? - Oh, man. That's bullshit. 1668 01:20:25,384 --> 01:20:27,085 - What kind of nigga is this? - Fuck you're gonna kill a vampire 1669 01:20:27,119 --> 01:20:29,388 with Visine, motherfucker? 1670 01:20:29,421 --> 01:20:30,522 Hit him with that third one. 1671 01:20:30,556 --> 01:20:31,990 Punk bitch, die! 1672 01:20:33,525 --> 01:20:35,994 This nigga is not dying. Back up. 1673 01:20:36,028 --> 01:20:37,697 Thank you, ladies. 1674 01:20:37,730 --> 01:20:39,465 - Whoa. - Daddy. 1675 01:20:39,498 --> 01:20:41,200 - Where you been? - We've been looking for you. 1676 01:20:41,233 --> 01:20:43,703 - I saved Allie. - No, I saved you. 1677 01:20:43,736 --> 01:20:45,638 Enough! 1678 01:20:47,606 --> 01:20:50,275 Look how you got my woman's mouth looking, man. 1679 01:20:50,309 --> 01:20:53,612 I bring to you from Africa, Egypt, 1680 01:20:53,646 --> 01:20:56,048 Denmark and Dayton. 1681 01:21:03,522 --> 01:21:05,023 That's Jodeci! 1682 01:21:08,661 --> 01:21:10,429 No! 1683 01:21:11,497 --> 01:21:15,133 I swear by the black hairs of your chinny chin chin, 1684 01:21:15,167 --> 01:21:17,503 I will huff and puff 1685 01:21:17,536 --> 01:21:21,306 and these demons will blow your house down. 1686 01:21:21,340 --> 01:21:23,242 What's up, y'all? 1687 01:21:23,275 --> 01:21:25,812 - Watch out... oh! - Oh, shit! 1688 01:21:25,845 --> 01:21:27,312 What the hell are you doing here? 1689 01:21:27,346 --> 01:21:28,748 Freezee, 1690 01:21:28,781 --> 01:21:30,249 what happened to you? 1691 01:21:30,282 --> 01:21:33,118 Vampire gang. We out here, gang-gang! 1692 01:21:33,151 --> 01:21:34,687 They done hooked your boy up. 1693 01:21:34,721 --> 01:21:39,224 Half vampire, half goat legs, full horse dick. 1694 01:21:39,258 --> 01:21:41,226 Donkey dick. 1695 01:21:42,662 --> 01:21:44,463 It's all backwards, though. 1696 01:21:44,496 --> 01:21:46,298 Your ass is forward, Freezee. 1697 01:21:46,331 --> 01:21:47,667 They done fuck me up in the lab. 1698 01:21:47,700 --> 01:21:50,335 You're a hairy retarded vampire. 1699 01:21:50,369 --> 01:21:52,137 - This ain't the life I chose. - You fucked him up. 1700 01:21:52,170 --> 01:21:54,206 You fucked him up. You fucked him up. 1701 01:21:54,239 --> 01:21:56,174 I appreciate it. At least I can walk now. 1702 01:21:56,208 --> 01:21:58,778 Listen here, Switchblade. 1703 01:21:58,811 --> 01:22:01,781 You already know Black Lives Matter. 1704 01:22:01,814 --> 01:22:05,818 This is Black matter lives. 1705 01:22:07,286 --> 01:22:09,254 Welcome to the dark, motherfucker. 1706 01:22:09,288 --> 01:22:11,156 Attack! 1707 01:22:11,189 --> 01:22:12,224 Come on. Come on. Come on. 1708 01:22:44,256 --> 01:22:46,158 - You hit me in the nuts! - I'm sorry. 1709 01:22:47,326 --> 01:22:48,828 I'm tired of your ass. 1710 01:22:53,565 --> 01:22:55,601 Let's go, bitch. Let's go. 1711 01:23:02,474 --> 01:23:04,176 I got you! 1712 01:23:11,718 --> 01:23:15,454 - Yeah, bitch! - Die slow! Die slow! 1713 01:23:15,487 --> 01:23:17,189 Carl! Behind you! 1714 01:23:28,735 --> 01:23:29,636 Help her. 1715 01:23:34,707 --> 01:23:37,877 - I can't move my hand. - I can't move mine. 1716 01:23:37,910 --> 01:23:40,212 I'm throwing up gang signs. 1717 01:23:48,620 --> 01:23:50,690 Finally, Lorena. 1718 01:24:21,954 --> 01:24:25,357 Nigga is not dead yet. I don't think he's dead. 1719 01:24:35,267 --> 01:24:36,636 Baby, he's not dead. 1720 01:24:39,772 --> 01:24:44,276 You know I'm coming now. 1721 01:24:46,511 --> 01:24:48,848 Go get the voodoo doll. It's the only way to kill him. 1722 01:24:48,881 --> 01:24:51,216 - All right. Cool. - Hurry. 1723 01:24:56,354 --> 01:24:57,890 Go lock the back door. 1724 01:24:57,924 --> 01:24:59,324 Get the doors locked. Come on. 1725 01:24:59,357 --> 01:25:00,525 We can't kill him without the voodoo doll! 1726 01:25:02,862 --> 01:25:04,864 Cronut, hurry up. Hurry. 1727 01:25:06,431 --> 01:25:07,900 Hurry up, Cronut. 1728 01:25:09,769 --> 01:25:11,971 Wooky said this will kill the vampire. 1729 01:25:12,004 --> 01:25:13,505 Is that it? 1730 01:25:13,538 --> 01:25:14,874 - Yeah. - All right. Let's go. 1731 01:25:16,909 --> 01:25:18,310 Whoa! Shit! 1732 01:25:19,846 --> 01:25:21,681 Ah, shit! 1733 01:25:23,916 --> 01:25:26,618 Come on, come on. Oh, shit! 1734 01:25:26,652 --> 01:25:28,587 - Please. Please. - Hey, hey, stop. 1735 01:25:28,620 --> 01:25:31,023 Please. 1736 01:25:32,792 --> 01:25:35,027 Shit! 1737 01:25:54,881 --> 01:25:56,414 Lorena. 1738 01:25:57,884 --> 01:26:00,552 Come to me, Lorena. 1739 01:26:00,585 --> 01:26:02,655 - Carl... - What's wrong? 1740 01:26:02,688 --> 01:26:04,389 He's calling me. 1741 01:26:07,592 --> 01:26:09,561 You can kill me, 1742 01:26:09,594 --> 01:26:12,665 but you cannot make me die. 1743 01:26:22,642 --> 01:26:25,610 I will have what belongs to me. 1744 01:26:35,121 --> 01:26:37,355 I'm 'bout to go kill Mamuwalde. 1745 01:26:37,389 --> 01:26:38,925 Okay. 1746 01:26:43,428 --> 01:26:44,931 Damn, Hugo. 1747 01:26:44,964 --> 01:26:46,498 Nobody calls me Hugo. 1748 01:26:47,633 --> 01:26:48,968 What do they call you then? 1749 01:26:49,001 --> 01:26:51,403 Filero. 1750 01:26:51,436 --> 01:26:53,706 And what's Filero? 1751 01:26:53,739 --> 01:26:56,843 It means blade in Mexican. 1752 01:26:59,946 --> 01:27:01,513 Really? 1753 01:27:15,460 --> 01:27:16,996 Carl... no... 1754 01:27:18,831 --> 01:27:21,167 Where do you think you're going? 1755 01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:22,969 What did you just do to me? 1756 01:27:23,002 --> 01:27:24,670 Do you feel that? 1757 01:27:26,038 --> 01:27:27,505 I got the voodoo doll. 1758 01:27:27,539 --> 01:27:30,076 Break the voodoo doll. 1759 01:27:30,109 --> 01:27:32,477 - What? - Break the voodoo doll! 1760 01:27:33,612 --> 01:27:34,680 Cronut! 1761 01:27:34,714 --> 01:27:36,883 Release your meaningless life. 1762 01:27:36,916 --> 01:27:39,051 Fuck out that... 1763 01:27:39,085 --> 01:27:41,453 I see we don't know what immortal means. 1764 01:27:41,486 --> 01:27:43,956 Break the doll, the voodoo doll. 1765 01:27:45,825 --> 01:27:47,126 - Break it! - Break it! 1766 01:28:01,707 --> 01:28:04,677 - You motherfucker. - Don't you touch me. 1767 01:28:09,048 --> 01:28:11,117 Come to me, Lorena. 1768 01:28:11,884 --> 01:28:15,021 - You better stop! - Come this way. 1769 01:28:15,054 --> 01:28:17,455 Lorena, wake up! 1770 01:28:17,489 --> 01:28:18,958 Lorena. 1771 01:28:20,558 --> 01:28:23,029 Take your place with me. 1772 01:28:23,062 --> 01:28:24,864 Babe, don't do this! Baby! 1773 01:28:24,897 --> 01:28:29,567 We are the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of the underworld. 1774 01:28:31,270 --> 01:28:35,041 Complete my darkness. 1775 01:28:35,074 --> 01:28:38,244 Come with me. There's not much time left. 1776 01:28:50,555 --> 01:28:52,858 You don't need him. 1777 01:28:52,892 --> 01:28:56,628 He doesn't have a job and he can't write a book. 1778 01:29:07,306 --> 01:29:10,009 I got this new book coming out. Terror Night. 1779 01:29:10,042 --> 01:29:11,711 Nigga! Ain't nobody reading your book! 1780 01:29:11,744 --> 01:29:14,512 My book is in... in... in Barnes and Noble's. 1781 01:29:14,546 --> 01:29:17,016 That book was terrible. It's one of the worst books I ever read. 1782 01:29:17,049 --> 01:29:18,616 Carl, I'm not happy here. 1783 01:29:18,651 --> 01:29:20,019 I need the money, Dad. 1784 01:29:20,052 --> 01:29:21,887 Just... just leave. Just leave. Go take a nap. 1785 01:29:21,921 --> 01:29:23,521 This ain't the time for your goddamn book. 1786 01:29:24,657 --> 01:29:26,258 I don't know if this is it for us. 1787 01:29:26,292 --> 01:29:29,161 I used to think it was the house, the neighborhood, your book. 1788 01:29:31,998 --> 01:29:33,699 You need to realize that family's 1789 01:29:33,733 --> 01:29:35,167 the most important thing in life, not a book. 1790 01:29:36,702 --> 01:29:37,737 - I'm moving out. - You're messing up. 1791 01:29:39,772 --> 01:29:42,607 It's you and I that don't work. It's you. 1792 01:29:45,778 --> 01:29:48,047 Come to me now. 1793 01:29:52,818 --> 01:29:54,586 Carl Black, save your wife. 1794 01:30:09,802 --> 01:30:13,839 Global warming is real. 1795 01:30:31,357 --> 01:30:34,927 Jack Mihoff, ANN News Live with the Buzz. 1796 01:30:34,960 --> 01:30:37,229 So you've survived the Purge. 1797 01:30:37,263 --> 01:30:40,766 You and this ragtag band of pimps, hoes... 1798 01:30:40,800 --> 01:30:42,134 - No, that's my family. - Sorry, what?! 1799 01:30:42,168 --> 01:30:43,803 No. It wasn't no pimps and hoes over here. 1800 01:30:43,836 --> 01:30:45,603 You defeated the vampire. 1801 01:30:45,638 --> 01:30:47,773 Saved the whole entire neighborhood. 1802 01:30:47,807 --> 01:30:51,010 Have you, Black Panther, Chloe, and Bow-Wow 1803 01:30:51,043 --> 01:30:54,612 ever thought about becoming the new Black Ghostbusters? 1804 01:30:57,783 --> 01:31:00,386 - Hunting ghosts? - Hunting ghosts? I mean... 1805 01:31:00,419 --> 01:31:01,887 You don't have to answer that, Carl. 1806 01:31:01,921 --> 01:31:03,789 It's a good idea. We could make money. 1807 01:31:03,823 --> 01:31:05,091 Let's wait, let's wait. 1808 01:31:05,124 --> 01:31:07,326 Don't be a bitch. Let's make this money, Carl. 1809 01:31:07,359 --> 01:31:09,962 Yes. Don't be a bitch. Make the money. 1810 01:31:09,995 --> 01:31:11,764 And what the fuck did you do? 1811 01:31:11,797 --> 01:31:13,332 - Look at me. - We could make money, Carl. 1812 01:31:13,365 --> 01:31:15,634 - Get the money, Carl. - Carl, let's do it. 1813 01:31:15,668 --> 01:31:17,670 - I'm gonna make money. - Yeah. Why-why not? 1814 01:31:17,703 --> 01:31:19,271 One more question. Handicapped white man, 1815 01:31:19,305 --> 01:31:22,341 is it true that your first experience with vampires 1816 01:31:22,374 --> 01:31:25,945 was in the jungle in Hanoi where your troop was ambushed, 1817 01:31:25,978 --> 01:31:30,382 you were ravaged, and your legs were completely destroyed? 1818 01:31:30,416 --> 01:31:32,785 Fuck you, Sammy Sosa. 1819 01:31:32,818 --> 01:31:34,320 One thing I hate about this neighborhood... 1820 01:31:34,353 --> 01:31:36,188 all the goddamn vampires. 1821 01:31:36,222 --> 01:31:39,191 Well, we would just like to thank you 1822 01:31:39,225 --> 01:31:41,393 for your service to this country and make... 1823 01:31:41,427 --> 01:31:42,995 Oh, my Lord! 1824 01:31:43,028 --> 01:31:44,363 His hands are strong, but his legs are dead. 1825 01:31:44,396 --> 01:31:46,132 Come on. Come on. Let his hand. Let his hand. 1826 01:31:46,165 --> 01:31:48,000 Get off me, Carl! Your wife's cheating on you! 1827 01:31:48,033 --> 01:31:49,235 - What are you talking about? - What? 1828 01:31:49,268 --> 01:31:50,402 - I see everything! - Shut up! 1829 01:31:50,436 --> 01:31:52,371 - Cronut's gay. - No, I'm not. 1830 01:31:52,404 --> 01:31:53,739 That don't count in jail. 1831 01:31:53,772 --> 01:31:54,940 That's not even your daughter! 1832 01:31:54,974 --> 01:31:57,343 - Uh-uh. - No. I'm sick of this. 1833 01:31:57,376 --> 01:31:59,378 Yeah. I'm sick of you. 1834 01:31:59,411 --> 01:32:01,647 Come on, Carl. 1835 01:32:04,416 --> 01:32:06,152 Are you ready? 1836 01:32:06,185 --> 01:32:08,387 Give me one second, baby. I'm coming. 1837 01:32:08,420 --> 01:32:10,055 Lord knows I'm coming. 1838 01:32:10,089 --> 01:32:13,392 I know you happy you ain't with Clive no more. 1839 01:32:13,425 --> 01:32:15,861 - But what's taking you so long? - You're rushing me, babe. 1840 01:32:15,895 --> 01:32:18,230 You ain't rush Clive. I know you waited for his ass. 1841 01:32:18,264 --> 01:32:20,900 Just calm down. You gon' get this dick. 1842 01:32:20,933 --> 01:32:22,701 Gonna drop some good dick on you. 1843 01:32:22,735 --> 01:32:24,203 Well, hurry. 1844 01:32:24,236 --> 01:32:25,938 - Oh. - Yeah. 1845 01:32:25,971 --> 01:32:28,073 Yeah. 1846 01:32:28,107 --> 01:32:33,045 You see it. You see it. Yeah. 1847 01:32:33,078 --> 01:32:35,147 Say you're ready for me to draw some dick O's. 1848 01:32:38,050 --> 01:32:40,786 Yeah. Yeah. Oh-oh. 1849 01:32:40,819 --> 01:32:42,855 That's it? 1850 01:32:42,888 --> 01:32:44,857 You're kidding. 1851 01:32:44,890 --> 01:32:47,426 Wait. I-I... damn, this was a long song. 1852 01:32:47,459 --> 01:32:48,961 - Wow. - You did good. No, no, no. 1853 01:32:48,994 --> 01:32:50,963 What you wowing for? 1854 01:32:52,531 --> 01:32:56,468 Who knocked it down, nigga? 1855 01:32:56,502 --> 01:32:58,771 Bitch ass! 1856 01:34:26,258 --> 01:34:31,030 This is Jack Mihoff with today's latest buzz. 1857 01:34:31,063 --> 01:34:34,233 There has been reports of a ragtag band 1858 01:34:34,266 --> 01:34:38,470 of Negro thug vigilantes and a Mexican. 1859 01:34:38,504 --> 01:34:42,508 Reports have been stated that they are calling themselves 1860 01:34:42,541 --> 01:34:45,311 the Ghetto Ghostbusters, 1861 01:34:45,344 --> 01:34:48,914 and they are out for street vengeance. 1862 01:34:56,320 --> 01:35:01,320 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 143266

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