Original subtitles

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski, Buttowski

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick Buttowski! ♪

GUNTHER: The place: The Old Country.

The time: Many Wolf Moons ago.

The lingonberry pies: Delicious.

The entire town was in danger from Mount Eruptus,

an active volcano that threatened to end the lives of all Vikings.

But fearless warrior Thor Thorsen built a spring-powered airplane

and he bravely launched himself in.

Appeasing the angry volcano.

Thor Thorsen perished that day,

but his heroic sacrifice saved the Old Country,

which remains whole in all of its glory to this day.

Including the pies.

(CHEERING)

And every year they honor Thor by choosing one lucky contestant

to re-create his heroic launch at the annual Thor Thorsen festival.

Gunther, my friend, when they see how awesome you are in this video,

you'll be like the Kick Buttowski of the Old Country.

It's been a lifelong goal of mine to honor my hero

and get my clothes mountain spring fresh.

I envy you, Gunther.

What you're about to do is pure historical awesomeness.

More importantly, how do I look on camera?

Like Thor Thorsen himself.

Let's do this!

Bwar! Oops!

Oh, no! I ruined the shot!

Huh?

Don't worry, Gunther, just keep filming.

I'll do the rest.

GUNTHER: Whoo-hoo! This is awesome!

Can you believe it? My video got two million views.

And my underwear smells Mountain Spring fresh.

See, Gunther, I told you your video would be awesome.

(GROANING)

My spleen!

It's you, baby. Boy from video!

Kick Buttowski is one of my favorites!

He's awesome, baby!

-Old Country Mayor? -Old Country Mayor?

You win the contest!

You're coming to Old Country to recreate the Thor Thorsen launch!

Bwar!

GUNTHER: Say, what?

Bwar!

You honor our ancestors with your awesome-ness.

Thanks, guys, although it was me in the video, Gunther is actually...

All hail, Kick Buttowski!

VIKINGS: Bwar! Bwar! Bwar!

GUNTHER: My other spleen!

(SING-SONG TONE) Free Buttowski vacation!

Thanks for being such a good Viking, son.

Actually, Dad, Gunther is...

Did you know that the Old Country had the first postal system in the world?

Because I sure knew it.

Are you sure you don't wanna come?

Oh, we'll find plenty to do while you're gone.

(BOTH GIGGLING)

DAD: Here we are, family. The Old Country.

Now, don't be alarmed by their exotic culture.

(SCREAMS) Look at those clogs!

They're so ugly. I must have them!

Now Brianna, we are not here to spend all your father's hard-earned money on shoes.

Uh-huh, that's right.

Good work. He bought it!

Now let's put Brad's college fund to good use!

Brad, are you sure you don't want to go to

the Old Country Post Office tour with me?

No way, Dad.

I'm gonna find me a babe that loves, honors and obeys the Brad.

And there are no babes at the post office.

Ho-ho, I beg to differ.

Have you ever seen the Amelia Earhart commemorative stamp?

(GROWLS)

Okay, Gunther, before the festival,

we need to tell everyone that you are gonna recreate the launch,

and by the time we leave here,

everyone will know your name is...

Kick Buttowski!

(ALL CHEERING)

Uh, no, no, the person you really want is...

(VIKINGS YELLING)

I guess we'll just tell them later, then?

Ow! My third spleen!

TOUR GUIDE: Up ahead is Four Shadow Park,

you'll see the full scale working replica of

Thor Thorsen's famous spring loaded airplane

that he heroically launched into the...

Yeah, yeah, good stories. Post Office up next on the tour?

For the last time, no!

So we're headed to the Post Office. Sweet!

(GUNTHER GRUNTING)

Aw, why so heavy?

-Gunther. -Kick?

MAYOR: Where's Kick Buttowski? Must find Kick Buttowski.

Gunther, we have to clear this up...

-Kick? -It's not supposed to be like this.

You're supposed to honor Thor. Not me.

MAYOR: Hey, there he is!

Kick Buttowski, the only one who will honor Thor.

This is gonna be massive, baby! Bwar!

VIKINGS: Bwar! Bwar!

This is all a big misunderstanding.

The real Viking is Gunther M...

VIKINGS: Yeah! Kick, Kick! Kick!

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

TOUR GUIDE: Thus ends our tour of the Old Country.

Oh, boy! That was some tour, huh, Bradley?

I wonder what else there is to do.

Come on, Dad. We've been from one end of this town to the other,

and still I haven't seen a single...

(GASPS) Viking babe.

Viking babe!

What do you say I buy you some meatballs?

Hey, horned Viking babe, you hit me harder than the Black Plague.

Excuse me, do you have GPS? 'Cause I'm lost in your eyes.

Don't make me mace you.

Aw, man. Old Country Brad strikes out

worse with girls than Mellowbrook Brad.

Almost as bad as Australian Brad.

Why g'day, babe. Ahhh!

Cheer up, Bradley.

As an attentive father, I know exactly how to cheer you up.

A historical reenactment tour!

Eh, the only thing that will cheer up the Brad is to con a babe into...

Holy matrimony!

So flowing, so glorious, so beautiful.

Oh, don't I know it.

Why! Hello, gigantic reenactment dream girl that I...

(GRUNTS)

Hey! For the last time, you're a Viking re-enactor!

You must stay in character and abide by the rules of the ancient Vikings.

Can ancient Viking babes turn me down?

They can, and they should. Unless you've got a dowry.

Aw man, I had mine removed in fifth grade.

No, no, no.

Ancient Viking men would offer gift of livestock to a girl's father

in exchange for marriage.

And then she can't turn me down?

Ooh, the Brad is gonna take a bride

the old fashioned way, with farm animals.

Let's start with you, cutie-boots!

(SCREAMS)

MAYOR: Welcome to the 1000th Annual Thor Thorsen festival.

In a few short minutes, and after this non-Viking finishes cranking it up,

our honorary Viking and primetime player, Kick Buttowski,

will recreate Thor's launch into this replica volcano.

This is gonna be awesome, baby.

And here he is, folks!

VIKINGS: Kick! Kick! Kick!

Come on, Gunther. We've got to set the record straight.

You may as well just go ahead and do the stunt, Kick.

They want to see the guy in the video, not me.

No.

You're my best friend!

And you're doing the launch on your own,

like you should have the first time.

Really?

Of course! And it's gonna be awesome!

Everyone will love you.

You're finally gonna get your chance to honor Thor Thorsen.

Let me just make sure you're lined up for the launch.

Let's do this! Bwar! KICK: Gunther, no!

Oops!

Biscuits.

(IN SPANISH)

Sir, we speak English here.

-(GUNTHER SCREAMING) -(EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)

I'm never gonna be animal-rich. Ahhh!

(SCREAMS)

Yeah, animal-rich Brad!

Can you believe the deal I got

on these authentic Nordic weapons and wicks.

And just look at these spectacular purple tights!

-(GUNTHER SCREAMS) -Well, that was unfortunate.

Guess we'll just have to spend more of Dad's money.

Look out!

(SCREAMING)

Gunther, are you in there? Are you all right?

Yes, fortunately I ran out of spleens in that last sequence.

Here, let me help you out.

The Thor Thorsen Festival is ruined.

Who would sink to such lowly depths?

It was that little girl!

Get that little girl!

(VIKINGS YELL)

On second thought, you should just stay in there.

GUNTHER: I blew it, Kick. I'm a failure.

I might as well just face this angry mob like a man.

(VIKINGS YELLING)

Could it be?

(VIKINGS GASP)

Thor Thorsen has returned. All hail, Thor Thorsen.

VIKINGS: Bwar!

Who me? Oh no. I'm no Thor Thorsen. I'm Gu...

Of course he is Thor Thorson!

You honored your great warrior and he has returned!

Kick! What are you doing?

Just trust me. Here he is, folks!

Thor Thorsen!

VIKINGS: Thor Thorsen! Thor Thorsen!

And now we hail you.

VIKINGS: Bwar!

We must praise you.

VIKINGS: Bwar!

And we must honor you as the greatest Viking of all time!

VIKINGS: Bwar!

(VIKINGS CHEER)

(VIKINGS CHEER)

(VIKINGS CHEER)

Let's see. That's two bull, four horse,

three pig and twenty-five chicken.

Here change. Reenactment daughter is yours.

Now, we need to hire a new one.

Yeah, Brad-groom.

(SIGHS)

You did it! You achieved your dream of honoring Thor Thorsen.

You're right, Kick.

Not only that, you actually became Thor Thorsen.

You're right, Kick!

And now the Old Country honors you!

You're right, Kick.

And look! No matter where you go, everyone bows down to you.

You're gonna be the envy of the cul de sac when we get home.

Home? I am never going home.

(VIKINGS CHEER)

VIKINGS: Bwar!

That's right. You're never going...

Wait, what?

Gunther?

(DOOR LOCKS)

(GUNTHER OVER PHONE) So I know you'll agree with me.

Staying in the Old Country

pretending I'm Thor Thorsen and living in a castle treated like I'm royalty.

Ta-ta!

(PHONE BEEPS)

(CREAKING)

Kick, I know you're sad about Gunther staying in the Old Country forever,

but as an attentive father, I know just what will cheer you up.

The Post Office tour!

(GRUNTS) If they'd only open their doors.

BRAD: The Brad has done it,

by using his charm and good looks and farm animals,

the Brad has found someone to love and honor and obey him.

Especially obey.

Hey, Dad, can I get married?

Sure, Jason. Have all the soda you want. Open, open, open, open!

Yeah, Brad.

Bwar. Dearly beloved, we have gathered on this day...

Uh, Mom? Are you seeing what Brad is doing?

Yeah, yeah. Matthew can do what he wants.

What happens in the Old Country stays in the Old Country.

-Gunther? -That's right, ladies and gentlemen,

it's the great Thor Thorsen.

He's never leaving the Old Country. Ever.

Will he have a commemorative stamp? (GASPS)

Gunther!

Gunther, wait!

Uh, Kick! Don't forget, our flight leaves in three hours!

Oh, I sure hope he doesn't get wrapped up in something ridiculous.

Yeah, husband!

Gunther! Gunther! Gunther!

Thor?

Oh, hi, Kick. I've officially changed my name to Thor Thorsen.

Well, Thor,

I'm heading back to Mellowbrook in three hours, and...

MALE VIKING: Thor! Thor! Wait, wait. One sec.

Cheese.

Photo op. So, you were saying?

The plane to Mellowbrook is leaving soon and...

Be sure to write, okay? I'll send you an autographed picture.

An autographed picture? What?

I know, I know. You're wondering how Thor Thorsen

has time to write to all of his fans.

You're not Thor Thorsen. You're Gunther Magnuson!

You don't belong here. You belong in Mellowbrook.

I do belong! They need me here.

But I need you. You're my wingman!

"Wingman"? Oh, I get it now,

that's all I am to you. Just a wingman.

No, Gunther, that's not what I meant at all!

I don't believe it. Kick Buttowski, jealous.

Jealous?

You said it yourself, Kick. You envy me for what I was about to do.

And now that I've done it, you can't stand not being in the spotlight.

Spotlight? Gunther, this whole time I was trying to help.

VIKINGS: Thor! Thor! Thor! Wait, wait. One sec.

Cheese.

You were saying? This is ridiculous!

It's because of me that you're Thor Thorsen anyway!

Oh, that's right. Take all the credit.

And now you want me to go back to Mellowbrook

and be your dumb little wingman for your dumb little stunts.

MALE VIKING: Thor! Cheese!

Where was I? Oh, right. Dumb. Little. Stunts.

You're the one that messed up your own launch. Twice.

You failed too, Kick.

The only difference is, my failure got me all of this.

And you'll just remain a suburban daredevil.

Gunther, come on.

Ah! I have turned away and folded my arms.

-But Gunther... -Ah!

Turned and folded. Do not make me unfold them.

Could this day get any worse?

(GASPS)

Yeah, married Brad! How do you like me now, kangaroo?

Yeah, married Brad.

(CREAKING)

(RUMBLING)

Mount Eruptus. She has awakened!

What do we do? No way.

We're doomed!

There's only one person that can save us from certain doom.

So, what? Like another ribbon cutting or morning talk show?

Bigger than that, baby.

We again need the ultimate sacrifice.

The fate of the Old Country depends on Thor Thorsen.

Ooh! Fate of the country.

Well, Thorsen is as Thorsen does.

Sure, I'll do whatever you need.

Thor will save us. This is gonna be epic.

(VIKINGS CHEER)

And now to Four Shadow Park.

Somehow I knew we'd all be going there.

So many shoes!

Best post office ever!

Till death do us part!

I can't believe I'm gonna lose my best friend.

Life in Mellowbrook will never be the same.

Oh, Gunther, can this really be the end?

(REPORTER ON TV) Can this really be the end?

I'm outside Thor Thorsen's castle,

where Thor Thorsen himself has volunteered once again to save the Old Country

by launching himself into Mount Eruptus.

What? I've got to stop this!

I can't let Gunther sacrifice himself.

So, what's this big sacrifice thingy anyway?

Ooh! Is there gonna be a barbecue?

I guess you could say that.

Yummy. But just an FYI, Thor Thorsen does not do potato salad.

Oh, dear sweet reenactment bride,

how I will love you and cherish you and lavish you with...

That will be $50 extra for the gargantuan babe.

Fifty bucks? That's it. Deal breaker.

You only want me for my money. Be gone with you.

(SIGHS)

The Brad

is so alone.

(SOBBING)

Oh, would you look at these stamps?

(SOBBING)

Bradley! Do a head count. Don't want anyone left behind.

BRAD: Dad, Mom, Bri, Kick, Gunther.

Yup, we're all here!

And the Brad is sad.

(SOBBING)

Oh, will I ever find true love again?

Well, hello, babe. I...

I think I'm in love.

Wow! Quite a turn out for a barbecue in my honor.

I still don't do potato salad.

Well, I suppose I should say a few words.

Citizens of the Old Country, centuries ago,

Thor Thorsen sacrificed himself for our people

by flying into a volcano and stopping the eruption.

Mmm-hmm.

And now this big time player, Thor Thorsen has returned to us

in the greatest time of need.

Mmm-hmm.

And once again Thor has volunteered

to save the Old Country from certain doom

by launching himself into Mount Eruptus.

That's right. I... Say what?

In closing and from the bottom of my heart,

I just wanna say, been nice knowin' ya!

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING) Stop!

Wait! I cannot let this happen.

Kick? You came back for me?

Even after all the horrible things I said to you?

Of course I did, Gunther.

I'm the one that got you into this.

If I wouldn't have told them you were Thor Thorsen,

none of this would have happened.

I don't know. Maybe I deserve to be launched into the volcano.

No! The man you are about to launch into the volcano is not Thor Thorsen.

Show them, Gunther.

(VIKINGS GASP)

Are you serious, baby?

Hey! That little girl is not Thor Thorsen!

Wait! Sure, he may have ruined your festival,

and sure he may have pretended to be Thor Thorsen

and falsely led you to believe he was going to save you all from certain doom!

And sure, you may think he has disgraced all of Viking-dom

with his mere presence.

Thanks, Kick.

But the man you are about to launch into the volcano

is the proudest Viking you will ever know!

And I am honored,

I am honored to be his best friend.

You really mean that?

Yes.

(SOBBING)

Will you come home?

Oh, Kick, yes!

Oh, Gunther!

Oops.

(GASPING)

(GUNTHER SCREAMING)

(BIRD TWITTERING)

Oh, man. Such bravery, such sacrifice.

Hey! That little girl saved the Old Country.

ALL: Bwar!

Wanna get lingonberry ice creams?

I'm down with that.

VIKINGS: Bwar! Bwar! Bwar!

-(SCREAMING) -Gunther, you did it!

You saved the Old Country.

I did?

Hey, yeah! I did!

-Whoo-hoo! -Whoo-hoo!

PILOT: Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out to your right,

you will see two kids flying a wooden plane.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(RATTLES)

Gunther, what's happening?

This plane wasn't built to land, Kick!

It was built to crash into a volcano!

Kick, take the controls!

I can't do this on my own, Gunther!

We have to do this together.

I know, Kick. You take the controls

while I become a wingman.

It's who I am.

Let's land this thing.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

You did it, Kick! You landed the plane!

No, Gunther. We did it.

We? -We.

-We! We! We! -We! We! We!

(GASPS) It finally happened.

The French are invading.

We must do battle.

(SCREAMING)

Here we are at the base of Mount Eruptus,

where in just a moment we will see the new statue

dedicated to the one who saved the Old Country.

Girl Girlsen.

Eh, I'm comfortable with that.