Original subtitles

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski, Buttowski

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick Buttowski! ♪

Good morning, Kick!

This is already the greatest day ever because I saw you!

It's even better than yesterday,

which was still pretty cool because I saw you then, too!

-No, you didn't. -Yes, I did.

I'd do anything for you!

Not now, Jackie, I'm late for school.

Tell me to do something for you and I'll do it.

Bandage duty?

Well, if you're offering...

Thank you, Jackie!

Yay, I'm a fulcrum! I can also be a lever!

I can be anything you want!

KENDALL: And I look forward to once again being your class president.

What's your platform?

My platform?

Yeah. Why should we vote for you?

(ALL CLAMORING)

Um, because I always run unopposed

and always get elected, that's why.

-Works for me. -(ALL CHEERING)

I trust her folksy wisdom.

(KICK SCREAMING)

The prophecy. It's all coming true! (SCREAMS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Look at her messed up poster!

Her folksy wisdom means nothing to me!

Clarence Buttowski,

you've ruined every poster I've ever made!

(KICK SCREAMING)

(KICK SCREAMING)

(KICK SCREAMING)

Next time will be the last straw!

And so it is.

"And so" what?

And, so, it's the last straw!

I said it in my flashback!

Well, how are we supposed to know? (ALL MUTTERING)

What else are you hiding?

First Lady, bring my spare podium!

I asked you to call me Campaign Manager.

My new platform as president will be

no more skateboards, no more stunts,

and no more helmets in class!

(ALL GASPING)

So your platform is making my life miserable?

I refuse to stand for this!

I, Kick Buttowski, announce my own candidacy

to overthrow Kendall as president!

(ALL CHEERING)

I'd drink a Cheetah Chug with him. Viva la revolution!

Oh, so you're going to stay after school, balance budgets,

and attend school board meetings?

In order to spend more time with my family,

I, Kick Buttowski, withdraw my candidacy for president!

-Huh? -WACKY JACKIE: Hi, Kick!

What can I do for you next?

Nothing.

Unless you're running for president!

I, Kick Buttowski,

hereby announce Jackie's candidacy for public regime.

I mean, presidency!

Yeah!

(GROANING ANGRILY)

Kendall wins every year,

so we're gonna have to help Jackie

if she's going to have a chance to win.

I don't know about this, Kick.

Are you sure Jackie's the best person to be class president?

Of course! As long as it's not Kendall.

Don't worry about it.

She's the most qualified person for the job.

Are you sure about that? Positive.

(WHOOPING) I'm a cowboy!

(SCREAMS)

That is not what cowboys do, Kick.

Don't worry so much.

Jackie's gonna be way better than Kendall.

Now, how can I draw some big crowds to Jackie's rally?

Well, you can always serve them a free buffet of boiled yak tongues!

-(GAGS) -Or maybe fried yak tongues.

Whatever the kids like nowadays.

Good brainstorming, buddy.

But I think I'm gonna try something else first.

Probably something extreme and daredevil-y.

And non yak tongue-y.

-Vote... -For...

-Jackie! -(ALL HUMMING)

Wait! Come back!

Good thing they picked it up in the right order.

And further, I will make certain

that Clarence Buttowski does not distract...

WACKY JACKIE: Yay! We're distracting!

You can't spell distraction without action.

Even I have to admit that's impressive.

(SCOFFS) Nothing but juvenile propaganda.

And yet, I'm still voting for Jackie.

You're not a student!

And you're not winning!

(GROWLS)

I still don't know about this, Kick.

There's a reason she's called Wacky Jackie,

and not Wacky President.

Gunther, relax. Jackie is totally gonna get elected.

Yeah, but for the wrong reason!

This isn't what elections are about, you know.

Eh. As long as Jackie's the front-runner,

my daredevil lifestyle is safe.

ALL: Jackie! Jackie! Jackie!

A vote for me is a vote for Kick!

Kendall is about to be unseated.

But Kick, with all this Jackie and Kendall stuff,

everyone seems to be forgetting about all the other kids.

All the other who now?

The voters! Shouldn't this be about everyone?

I mean, Jackie hasn't told us

even one thing she'd do as president!

Also, I'm starting to suspect she's wacky!

You're right, Gunther! Jackie,

go tell everyone what you're gonna do when you're president!

Awesome! I love saying stuff!

Ladies and gentlemen, your next class president, Jackie Wackerman!

Hi, everyone! As president,

I'm totally gonna make the school an awesome place!

(ALL CHEERING)

(WHISPERS) But only for you, Kick.

I will extend recess!

(ALL CHEERING)

(WHISPERS) To only you, my sweet.

The cafeteria will be a way better place!

(ALL CHEERING)

Because I'll be feeding you cherry tomatoes every day!

I'll make sure all classes will be easier to get through!

(ALL CHEERING)

Because you'll be forced to sit on my lap and hold my hand!

And I vow to be one with the people!

Because I'm gonna sew our faces together!

What am I gonna do?

Jackie's gonna be a way worse president than Kendall!

Yeah, because she's only thinking about herself!

Elections shouldn't be about the interests of the candidates,

they should be about... My interests!

I've got to make sure Jackie doesn't get elected.

Hmm. Maybe we should vote for Kendall.

Actually, let's vote for Jackie instead.

Falling rocks have never steered me wrong.

KICK: Biscuits!

"Do not stop."

Whatever you say, sign.

Okay, so it's either Kendall...

-Please, Kendall, no! -(CACKLING)

Or it's Jackie.

Please, Jackie, no!

I'm sorry, Kick, but I'm wacky!

Uh-oh. I guess you'll have to live with me now.

This is hopeless. No matter who wins,

my daredevil life is out the window!

The two-party system is a joke!

Just like vegetable night,

I'm gonna have to pick the lesser of two evils.

Which is it going to be?

The one who wants to crush me,

or the one who wants to kiss me?

Okay, Kendall. I don't like you,

and I don't like you.

But we both know you're the right person for this job.

So let's work together to take down Jackie.

Work together? With you? Ha!

Yes. I help you win, and you help me

by going back on all your campaign promises.

Hey, everyone, come hear about all the great

non me-related stuff Kendall's gonna do as your president.

Like I've been saying all along,

my only campaign promise is

to make Clarence Buttowski miserable.

ALL: Boo!

So, now you're supporting Kendall? I can't believe this!

I feel so betrayed! You ruined my life!

But I still love you.

And when I'm president,

I'll make it so you'll have to love me back!

Wait a second. Both your campaigns are all about Kick.

Yeah! (ALL CLAMORING)

BOY: Yeah! What about the rest of us? That's not fair!

Enough! Isn't there anyone who can tell me

what elections are all about?

-BOY 1: Not me. -BOY 2: Uh, no.

Sure, Kick Buttowski.

I can tell you what elections are all about.

Lights, please?

And lo, there were two opposing candidates,

each hoping to win the votes of the people.

The crowds cried

"compromise," and the

candidates did not listen.

"teamwork," and the

And then, a new candidate stepped forth,

and that candidate spoke. "I hear you, desperate voters.

"You beg for compromise and teamwork, and I hear you."

And the people rejoiced, and cast their votes for the one who heard them.

(ALL CHEERING)

And that's what elections are all about, Kick Buttowski.

Gunther, you're right. Neither of them are fit to be president.

There's only one person who could possibly do that job.

ALL: Gunther! Gunther! Gunther! Gunther! Gunther!

Sorry you didn't win the election, Kendall.

Sorry you didn't get to sew your face to Kick's.

I guess there's always next year, right?

If you run next year, I'll sew your face to the floor.

I should have known from the beginning

that you're the best guy for the job.

Thanks, Kick. And my first order of business...

Eh. Still better than Kendall or Jackie.

JOCK: Good day, campers!

Welcome to Jock Wilder's nature camp!

Two-thousand acres of untamed, unbridled,

and unprotected wilderness, where you'll be spending

the weekend camping with me, Jock Wilder!

-(ALL CHEERING) -You can't experience

the great outdoors from the indoors.

And it's not till you're thrown into nature

that you discover

your inner Jock Wilder!

So, you'll spend all weekend doing this!

Now, who's ready to camp?

(BOTH CHEERING)

ALL: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

That always happens.

In fact, you're the only two campers who have ever stuck around!

I can't wait to show you the untamed, unbridled,

unprotected side of nature!

(SNIFFING)

Uh-oh! There's a fire in the bush!

It's time to dive into nature and face the fiery fury!

I'm gonna need a volunteer to go with me.

Ooh! Ooh!

All right, mate, let's go!

Gunther. Sorry, Kick.

You know how I am when it comes to volunteering enthusiastically.

Okay, I need a volunteer to get the plague.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

(GRUNTING)

(BOTH GASPING)

(WHISTLES)

Yee-haw!

What about me? I came here to find my inner Jock Wilder!

Don't worry, mate. You'll be out here in the wild

with my identical twin brother, Larry!

Identical twin?

Giddyup! You have a twin brother?

Of course I do! We were raised in the wild together!

Jock's twin brother?

Yep, that's me!

But, you look nothing alike!

Nope! Except our silhouettes.

And you were raised in the wild?

Well, of course!

It's just Jock was raised by wolves.

(HOWLING)

-And I was... - (CRYING)

Not.

(SNORES)

Chihuahuas? How do you get an inner Jock Wilder

when you're raised by Chihuahuas?

(SCOFFS) I can take care of myself. Now, where is Jock?

-He just left on a rhino. -(GASPS) He left?

Oh! We're sitting ducks!

Whoa, Larry, what's the big... Whoa!

Nature is untamed, unbridled, and unprotected!

No one can survive without Jock!

Yes, we can, Larry!

No, we can't!

I wanna find my inner Jock Wilder!

And I can't do that inside an electric fence!

And I wanna live, and I can't do that outside the fence!

(POWERING DOWN)

Oops. (SCREAMS)

We've been thrown into nature!

Exactly! Just like Jock says.

It's not till you're thrown into nature

that you discover your inner Jock Wilder!

(ULULATING)

No, no, no!

What if we're chased by cheetahs, ambushed by alligators,

caught in a mudslide, attacked by killer toucans,

and washed over a waterfall?

Well, first of all, that would be awesome, but...

(STAMMERING) Cheetahs!

Okay, Larry, we've got two options.

We can run or get eaten.

Don't forget peeing your pants.

Run!

(SCREAMING)

There!

What? That little island's too far!

Follow my lead!

-Phew, that was... -(STUTTERING) Alligators!

No, Larry, those were cheetahs.

No, alligators!

I told you, cheetahs, alligators, mudslide!

At least there's no such thing as killer toucans!

My arm! My arm!

(SCREAMS)

Taken too soon!

Whoo-hoo! We survived.

Yeah, we did. It was awesome!

Mother Nature threw her worst at us.

And we survived! And it was awesome!

Wow, Larry, I think you've found your inner Jock Wilder!

Jock? That little twerp's got nothing on me.

I'm Larry Wilder!

(ULULATING)

(BOTH ULULATING)

(BOTH SUCKING)

(SNIFFS) I smell prey. It's that way.

Go get 'em, Larry.

Yeah!

Hey, Kick! Catch!

Huh? Wait, Larry! Ow!

(LAUGHING)

(FARTING)

Totally Dutch ovened that bear!

Sweet.

Wow, Larry, you've really...

Don't call me Larry! Larry Wilder is no more.

(WATER SPLASHING)

I am now, and forever,

the King of the Jungle!

King of The Jungle, huh?

Larry, you've lost your mind.

Oh, Kick, you're so right. Where is my mind?

I'm not the King of the Jungle, I can't be!

Phew! Well, I'm glad you...

Not until I have a crown made of tiny bones.

How silly of me. Hmm, now, where to find some tiny bones?

Such tiny bones!

Now, Larry, try not to do something you'll regret.

Tiny bones!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Tiny bones!

The tiny bones!

(LARRY ULULATING)

Your tiny bones!

Whoa! (SCREAMS)

A-ha! Tiny bones.

(BARKING)

Mother? Is that you?

Ruff? Ruff? Ruff?

(BARKS)

You're right. This isn't me.

I'm not Jock Wilder, raised by wolves.

I'm Larry Wilder, raised by Chihuahuas!

I'm sorry, Kick, my inner Wilder ran wild

and wanted to make a crown out of your tiny, tiny bones.

Hey, it happens to the best of us, Larry.

Thank you, Kick. For teaching me that

you can't experience the great outdoors

when you're inside an electric fence.

(BARKING)

Ah, yes. Of course! Thanks, Mom.

What did she say?

Oh, just that where we're standing

is unstable and will likely give way any...

(SCREAMING)

Look! It's the camp!

Time to unleash our inner Wilders.

Rock! Tree! Boulder!

And launch!

(LARRY ULULATING)

(BOTH WHOOPING)

Kings of the Jungle.

One with nature!

-BOTH: We rock! -(CHEETAHS SNARLING)

-No problem. -We can take them.

No problemo! I'll take one side...

And I'll take the other! Easy as...

(SQUAWKING)

(GROWLING)

Well, we're goners.

Yes. I would say so.

(LOUD ROARING)

We're saved!

(ROARS)

Wow! How did you learn to do that?

The jungle changes a man.

And where's Jock Wilder, Gunther?

Don't call me Gunther. Gunther is defeated.

I am now and forever known as

the King of the Jungle!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

LARRY: Mommy!

Behold! The Jock Wilder celebrity skull crown

based on me, Jock Wilder!

This sculpted, almost casted,

near perfect plastic replica of my very own skull

can be all yours, only at the Jock Wilder Safari Store.

Wear one of these babies

and get your own Jock Wilder on.

So, what do you say, kids?

-(ALL SCREAMING) -BOY: Mommy!