Original subtitles

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski, Buttowski

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick Buttowski! ♪

I've conquered land and I've conquered air,

and now it's time to conquer water.

Uh, Wade? Faster!

(GRUNTS)

Sorry, amigo.

Precision timing is not my forte.

For example, I was supposed to be at work

three hours ago.

So how'd it go?

What do you think?

But I was counting on that stunt!

The Kick Buttowski Museum of Awesome

desperately needs a new exhibit.

Attendance is dwindling!

-Are you sure? -I'll elaborate.

In the last six months,

the total number of visitors has been

zero.

We need a new stunt exhibit in here or we're doomed!

Or maybe we can install a teleportation device.

(BOTH SCREAM)

(BOTH SHUDDER)

We've got to have a new exhibit.

Maybe there's some awesome artifacts around your house

that we could use.

I guess there might be some in the attic.

Great! I'll hit the teleportation switch.

Ooh! Are we there?

Hey! A trophy!

Did you win this for doing something awesome?

Naw. It's my dad's.

In school he won the award for "Most Cautious."

He put it up here because he was afraid someone would trip over it.

What's this?

Wow! That'll look great in the Museum of Awesome.

This isn't my helmet.

Who's "H"?

Well, my dad's name is Harold.

Now, listen, be very, very careful out there.

Someone could get hurt.

This really looks more like a woman's costume.

-What's your mom's first name? -Honey.

Don't be shy, sugar. Just tell me.

No! My mom's name is Honey.

But could it be hers?

There's a video in here, too.

I wonder what's on it.

She's fast! She's daring!

She's Greased Lightning on water!

Attempting to break the land speed record, on water,

this speed boating demon makes a splash wherever she goes.

Really?

Locally, she's known as Honey Buttowski...

Mom?

...but known to her fans as Honey Splash!

Such speed! Such precision timing!

Such glistening rhinestones!

Gunther, do you realize what this means?

Your mom's an Elvis impersonator?

No! It means I've got someone

to drive the boat for my stunt!

-Elvis? --Come on, let's go!

Mom! Mom! Is this yours?

(GASPS) Yes... No.

(STAMMERS) I don't know.

I mean, I've never seen that before in my life.

I have to go now.

She's not fooling anybody.

She will drive that boat.

-(DOORBELL RINGING) -Coming!

(GASPS) Is that the...

X9-3000? Yup.

With a 5,000 seahorse-power V-8?

Hydrodynamic body styling.

With water-cooled turbo charged dual aqua-boosters!

So the suit is yours, then.

Uh, yes.

And you'll drive the boat for my stunt?

I'm sorry, Kick. I just can't.

Yes, you can!

I saw the video! You're Honey Splash!

But have you seen the whole video?

Honey Splash was poised to break the land speed record, on water,

until a sudden tragic injury cut her dream short.

(SCREAMS) Can't move!

(GROANS)

I tore my tendonacious ligamental flexor.

-Ouch. -You know what she's talking about?

No, I just sat on a rhinestone.

I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't know.

I won't bug you anymore.

Well, that is an awfully nice boat out there.

Yeah.

And my tendonacious ligamental flexor

does seem to be on the mend.

Uh-huh.

Maybe one little outing wouldn't hurt.

I like where you're going with this.

-Let's do it! -Yes!

I believe this outfit is rightfully yours, milady.

Uh, thank you, Gunther, but aren't you going to need something to wear?

No, I was wearing my clothes under the suit.

Uh, guess again.

You mean I'm standing here in my underwear?

Uh, guess again.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

-(SCREAMS) -(CRASHING)

MAN: His nakedness! It burns!

Mom, we don't have to wait

for you to wash that jumpsuit, do we?

Uh, guess again.

Oh, I hope I remember how to drive one of these.

(REVVING ENGINE)

HONEY: Okay, Kick. Let's do this thing!

But be careful, sweetie.

Where is she?

That stunt was awesome! Thanks, Mom.

(CHUCKLES) Wow, what a rush!

I'd forgotten how great it feels,

and I really like it.

GUNTHER: Here it is, Kick!

The all-new Speedboat Trampoline exhibit.

All that's left is to open up to the public.

-(CROWD CHEERING) -I can hear the crowd already.

Come one, come all,

to the new exhibit at the Kick Buttowski Museum of

Awesome?

So, Honey Splash,

what brought you back to speed boating after all these years?

What's going on, Mom?

What's going on?

Honey Splash is attempting to break the land speed record, on water.

And who are you, little guy?

Oh, this is my son, Clarence Buttowski.

He's the whole reason I'm doing this!

CROWD: Aw!

Well, Clarence, how does it feel to have a daredevil in the family?

(CHUCKLES) Actually, I'm the daredevil in the family.

(LAUGHS) I'm sure you are.

Following in mommy's footsteps.

(CROWD LAUGHING) Look at mama's boy.

He's even wearing a miniature Honey Splash outfit.

This is my own jumpsuit.

I'm the daredevil.

So cute.

Well, just don't get lost

in all your mom's awesomeness

when she breaks the land speed record, on water!

(CHEERING)

Care to say anything to your adoring fans

before the big event?

Oh, no. I couldn't really...

Look out, Mellowbrook,

'cause Honey Splash is back!

Come on, Kick! Aren't you coming to see your mom

break the land speed record, on water?

-I just can't. -Why not?

Mom being awesome somehow makes me less awesome.

Since when does awesome plus awesome

equal less awesome?

Last time I checked, awesome plus awesome equals...

More awesome. It's simple arithmetic.

You should support her.

She's always supported you.

Honey Splash was poised to break the land speed record, on water,

until a sudden tragic injury cut her dream short.

(SCREAMS) Can't move!

HONEY: Do you like it?

Well, I know how much you love your stunts,

so I made this to show you how much I support you.

You really are awesome, Mom.

Gunther was right. Now it's my turn to support Mom.

REPORTER: Here we are, folks!

Honey Splash is about to splash back onto the scene.

Ooh, looks like she's about to go!

Woo-hoo! That's my mom!

Twenty years later, Honey Splash is one switch flip away

from breaking the record.

(SCREAMS) My tendonacious ligamental flexor!

Can't move!

Something must be wrong.

If she doesn't stop, she's gonna hit that mountain!

(ALL GASPING)

Kick?

Now that is some precision timing.

Dang. Late for work again.

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Mom. I'm so sorry.

Why, Kick? You just saved me.

No, Mom. Because I thought somehow

you being awesome would make me less awesome.

But that's not true.

Awesome plus awesome just equals more awesome.

We're awesome. Oh, no.

I might be fast, but you, you're something special.

You've got an ability like no one else.

You're one of a kind, Kick.

My days of racing are over.

I'll leave the stunts to the real daredevil of the family.

Thanks, Mom.

But we have to keep the legacy of Honey Splash alive somehow.

And I know just the way.

ALL: Ooh!

Wow.

(GRUNTING)

Stop being dramatic, Kick.

We're just going shopping at the mall.

No!

No.

I have no time for your nonsense.

I can't believe we waited till the last minute

to get your suit for Aunt Sally's wedding!

But Mom, I already have an awesome suit.

We're getting you a real suit.

You can't pick out clothes for me.

I'm practically a grown man.

I pick out your father's clothes.

Hello, family!

Well, I'm not going to the mall.

No way, no how.

How many of Aunt Sally's weddings do I have to go to?

Oh, come on, Kick.

This year, I'm in charge of Aunt Sally's wedding.

You and your cousin Kyle always make the cutest co-ring bearers.

(GROWLS)

I just want to make it as loving and wonderful as possible.

Because the sixth time better be the charm!

Kick! Kick! Where are you going?

We're ready for the super awesome bike jump.

We have to get the ramp back to the owner

before he finds out it's gone.

Don't worry, Gunther. I'll be back.

Right after I go clothes shopping.

(GASPS)

Until then, just keep an eye on the "U" until I...

You can count on me.

(SCREAMS)

You punk kid!

Not today, Kick.

I have to find you a suit.

I don't have time for you to be difficult.

Me? Difficult?

Hey!

Yee haw! Ride 'em, cowboy!

(SIGHS) I love that bear.

I should text him.

Oh, if I can't find you a suit,

I just don't know what I'll do.

I have to pick out a wedding cake and the flowers

and find a mariachi band that can play Here Comes the Bride.

And if I can't find you a suit,

this wedding will be all for nothing.

And I, uh...

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)

(CLUCKING)

Okay, Mom! Okay, okay!

We're just here to get the suit. Nothing else.

I don't want you to worry. You can count on me.

Really. The suit and nothing else.

Oh, thank you, Kick! You have no idea how helpful this is.

A free T-shirt to anyone brave enough to test-ride the X-3000!

Anyone with a jumpsuit and helmet

wanna try indoor skydiving, free?

Free year's supply of Cheetah Chug

to anyone who knows Billy Stumps' middle name.

Mom? (CHUCKLES) A little help?

(CLUCKING)

Oh, so many styles to choose from.

Guess we'll just have to try them all.

No! (GRUNTS) I mean...

Kick, the sooner we find you a suit,

the sooner we can get out of here.

Oh, in that case...

Let's buy this sucker and go home.

No. No?

Come on, Mom, please. This one is perfect.

It's two sizes too big.

But I know where we can find something that will fit you.

No! Not that!

MAN ON PA: Attention! There's a 2%-off sale

in the men's short and squat department.

I think I found one.

Oh, it's going to fit you perfectly.

Mom, someone could see me.

Hold still, Kick.

Oh, thank goodness. It's the very last one.

Oh, isn't he just as cute as a button.

Mmm-hmm. He's in a wedding today.

I could just put him in my pocket.

You know, we have such a hard time finding clothes for him.

He's very small for his age.

Okay, Mom, Mom, Mom, we get it.

Can we get out of here?

Okay, Kick. Fine.

Great. You go pay for it, I'll go hide in the car.

I don't wanna be in this store any longer than I have...

Oh, that would look great on your father.

Kick, hold this and wait in line,

while I check this out.

But, Mom, what if someone sees me with this stupid monkey suit?

It's not stupid, Kick. And I'll just be a minute.

Oh, I hope it comes in leopard print.

I'll go wait in line.

You pick that suit up off the floor!

And don't let that thing out of your sight!

Oh, I just don't know what I'd do if we lost that suit.

Okay! Okay. Gee!

Yo, yo, Danger Dude! Wade?

Hey! Getting some new threads?

This suit? Totally not mine.

You know I don't wear lame stuff. I'm just holding it.

What are you doing here? Just looking for a new shirt.

Oh, yeah, and some pants.

Oh, and in my size too.

Where's the fitting room?

How do I look?

Buttowski?

"Short 'n squat"?

Aw, Buttowski, what a lovely little suit you got there!

What's the occasion? Being a loser?

Yeah. And imported double-breasted suits are so last year.

(LAUGHS)

Uh, I mean, you smell funny.

And you're really short.

BOTH: Yeah.

Hey, look. There's a sale on cologne.

BOTH: What? To the cologne counter.

Because people in the next county

can't smell you with the whole bottle you have on now.

At least the worst is behind me.

(GASPS) Kendall?

Aw, that suit'll look cute on you.

Cute? I don't do cute.

I hate suits, I hate shopping and I hate malls.

So can you leave me alone with this suit?

Because it's the last one.

And if anything happens to it, my mom will have a cow!

Clarence, you're such a freak!

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

It's gone.

It's the last one!

Kick, how could you?

(ROARS)

I gotta find that suit!

(GASPS) The suit!

Save my spot?

Hey!

You punk kid!

(MUZAK PLAYING)

You punk kid!

(CRIES)

You punk kid!

KICK: Litterbug!

(PANTING)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

A free T-shirt to anyone brave enough to test-ride the X-3000!

Here, Wade!

Thanks, Danger Dude!

(EXCLAIMS) Oh, you punk kid!

You punk! You punk! You punk kid!

(EXCLAIMS)

You punk kid!

That's right, folks! Hamster clearance sale!

(ALL SCREAMING)

All right, time to go, Kick.

Ooh, garter socks.

(SCREAMS) Giant hamster!

(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

You punk kid!

Have you seen my son? He was right here!

Oh, Kick! I was so worried that something happened to you and that suit.

I don't know what I'd do.

I know, Mom. Which is why it's right here,

safe and sound, like I promised.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

-Thanks, Mom. -And you know,

I think I might have picked up a little something extra for you.

Like what. A new cummerbund?

Like maybe something you'd like.

(CHEETAH SNARLING)

(GASPS) A year's supply of Cheetah Chug?

But the only way to win this is to know Billy Stumps' middle name.

And how would you know that?

Because my son just happens to be Kick Buttowski, that's how.

By the way, what do you think of your dad's new underwear?

Ew! Mom! Come on. Gross.

I didn't need to see that.

Hey, Kick, is that a new suit?

Wow, I really like that new suit. Looks snazzy.

You look really handsome in that suit.

Really sharp. Right, left, right. Or is it left, left...

Punk kids!