Original subtitles

Bummer that we're gonna have to spend our vacation

studying for the final exam.

Yeah, but if I pass, I'll finally get out of this accelerated program,

graduate from high school, and live my dream.

The dream of being on the BMX circuit,

not the dream where I'm playing foosball with a chimp.

Which is really more of a nightmare.

Every time he scores, he goes...

( blows raspberry )

Hey, when we play foosball and I score, I go...

( blows raspberry )

Yeah, I was hoping you'd take the hint, you chimp.

When I pass the final, I'm gonna live my dream

of joining the PNX circuit.

Pizza, Naps and Extreme Naps.

What's an extreme nap?

You start out standing up, and you wake up somewhere else.

Gentlemen, keep it down.

And, Tyler, I've got my eye on you.

The left one; the right one is for everyone else.

Actually, putting my left eye where my right one goes

is making my head hurt.

Tyler, sit over here.

Oh, come on, Principal Lawson. I pull one senior prank,

and suddenly I'm branded as a bad kid.

Tyler, you have a long history of disruptive behavior.

And that waterslide prank rendered me so afraid of water

that my Dominican timeshare is useless to me.

Which is a shame because this body was almost beach ready.

Man, he's really got it in for me.

Can you believe that, Erik?

( snorts awake )

Whoa, extreme nap!

STAN: It's school vacation this week

and my family is staying local so Tyler can study.

Last year they left town and couldn't take me,

so they hired a dog walker.

The rest of the time I did

what all dogs do when we're left home alone.

Put on people clothes and dance.

( music playing )

Always have to one-up me, Robert, don't ya?

Avery, it's our one-week anniversary,

and since we don't go to the same school,

I wanted to give you a gift that you'd remember.

So I wrote you a song.

Oh, Brian, you are so perfect.

Perfect? You're coming on too strong.

You'll scare him off.

Play it smooth.

Perfect-ly dressed for this weather.

I mean, you can't go wrong with layers.

But enough about flexible dressing. How about that song?

♪ When I see you I just stare ♪

♪ At your beautiful eyes and hair ♪

♪ You know I love the way you are ♪

♪ I want to keep you in a jar ♪

♪ Like a butterfly!♪

♪ I want to take you somewhere fun ♪

♪ 'Cause you're my one and only one... Avery ♪

You want to keep me in a jar.

You are so ama--ailman.

A mailman. You really delivered. On that song.

Nailed it.

I think it's time

we take the next major step in our relationship.

The next major step in our relationship is meeting your dog?

Well, we could hold hands while you're doing it.

( giggles ) I'm kidding.

Unless you want to.

I think you're wonderful, Avery.

And your dog is very handsome.

-Awww. -Awww.

Whoa!

This is better than the massage chair at the mall.

Plus, no one's kicking me out.

I got to get going, Avery. But I'll text you later.

I'm gonna miss you both.

-Awww. -Awww.

Isn't he incredible, Stan?

Yes. Why don't you ever pet me like that?

How's that?

Fine.

Can I have Brian's number?

Man, I've been so busy studying I don't have time for girls.

It's like I'm dating my books.

I love you, history, but you're too old for me.

Maybe you should stick to science.

The two of you have so much chemistry.

Periodic one, Ellen.

I'm studying geography.

I can name capitals of countries now.

Oh, you can? That's great, sweetie.

I used to be able to do the same thing when I was a kid.

What is Lima the capital of?

-Peru! -Mmm, very impressive, Chloe.

Ooh, do me now.

-Wellington. -New Zealand.

Oh, man, Daddy still got it.

Ellen, you want a piece of this action?

Oh, I don't know capitals of countries.

I know a lot of things, but capitals of countries

just happen to be one of the few things I don't know.

Try me on '80s teen heartthrobs or beloved sit-com moms.

Like Phylicia Rashad or...

Pass!

Oh, come on. Capitals are easy.

Can you tell me what country Nairobi is the capital of?

I can't.

Kenya.

I can't.

No. Kenya.

I told you, Chloe. I ken-not!

Max, where's Lindsay? I have something exciting to tell you both.

I do too, or did my excited face already give it away?

Avery, Max, I have big news.

I have a new boyfriend.

-So do I. -So do I.

He's a little cheerful, but I can bring him down.

My guy's a musician.

So is mine.

So is mine.

He wrote me a song.

Mine too.

Mine too.

TOGETHER: ♪ When I see you I just stare ♪

♪ At your beautiful eyes and hair ♪

♪ You know I love the way you are ♪

♪ I want to keep you in a jar ♪

♪ Like a butterfly! ♪

♪ I want to take you somewhere fun ♪

♪ 'Cause you're my one and only one...

♪ Avery! ♪ ♪ Lindsay! ♪

♪ Max! ♪

We're all dating the same guy.

I can't believe

Brian's dating all three of us at the same time.

And he wrote us all the same song. What a jerk.

I cannot wait to tell him I'm never going to see him again.

Yeah, you both should do that.

I guess I'll just have to be the one

to teach him how to be a good boyfriend.

Wait, you mean you want to see him again?

He's dating all three of us.

So? What guy is good at relationships?

Well, clearly I'm the one he likes the most.

When he sang "I want to take you somewhere fun,"

he was obviously talking about me.

I'm the fun one! Woo-hoo-hoo!

Right, Brian?

But he also sang "you're my one and only one."

There's only one of me. There's two of you.

If one of us is going to get him, it should be me.

"Keep you in a jar"?

I'm the one who collects medical oddities.

I'm more his type than either of you. I'm the easygoing one.

I am the easygoing one. I haven't mentioned once that you smell like bologna

I wear a bologna mask at night. It's good for the skin.

According to a website I'm 90% sure is not a joke.

Obviously I'm the one Brian likes.

Both of you, back off.

You back off. He's mine.

No, he's mine.

Let him go.

You let him go!

You let him go.

I've got the head! I win!

Yeah!

( shrieks ) Brian, what have I done?

Yes! I passed!

I've officially graduated from high school.

The long road from kindergarten ends here.

And I never did learn cursive. Take that, Mrs. Durbin!

BMX circuit, here I come!

I passed too!

PNX circuit here I come!

I've got my pizza right here, and then after,

I'm gonna go home and take a nap.

-An extreme nap, right? -No, it's gonna be a normal nap.

-But with extreme pajamas. -What makes them extreme?

They have monster trucks on them!

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, you two.

I was reviewing your answer sheets

and you both have the exact same answers.

BOTH: All right!

That means one of you copied off of the other one.

BOTH: All-- What?

Tyler, you're out of the accelerated program.

What? You think I cheated?

Of course. You've been in detention so much

that when we send other students to detention,

we say "go see Tyler."

This is so unfair.

I didn't cheat on my test.

Really? You've been in detention so much,

it's the only class you have perfect attendance in.

You've been in detention so much--

You know what, I have a binder full of these back in my office.

I'm gonna go get it.

Dude, I can't believe this.

If I don't graduate now, I can't join the BMX circuit.

They're gonna give away my spot.

Tough break, man.

And I didn't even cheat.

So either you cheated, or it's all a huge coincidence.

Right. Coincidence.

You're pretty smart to think of that.

I knew I picked the right guy to cheat off of.

AVERY: She wears a bologna mask

which is both weird and a waste of bologna.

So then Max, Lindsay, and I had such a big fight

we haven't spoken to each other since science class.

We're still liking each others' selfies on Buddy Bop

'cause they're super-cute, but we're not speaking.

So if I'm following this story,

what I'm getting is: next time I lick Lindsay,

she's going to taste like bologna.

No, you are not following the story.

Was it ham?

No.

The point is Lindsay and Max are trying to take my boyfriend.

Avery, let me tell you a little story.

A few days ago, I was in the park

tussling with two of my dog friends

over a ratty, stinky old shoe.

I got the stinky shoe, but I lost my two friends.

Oh, my gosh, Stan. You're right.

Why would we fight over someone who would treat us this way?

He's not worth losing my friends over.

Brian is nothing but a ratty, stinky old shoe.

No, the point is it was totally worth it.

Ratty, stinky old shoes are the best.

Now who's not following the story?

No, Stan, Brian is a jerk

who's dating all three of us at the same time.

I'm gonna patch things up with Lindsay and Max,

and then I am breaking up with him.

Really? Are you sure?

Yes, Stan, I am sure.

You know you want a taste.

And that's how cognitive behavior therapy

changes performance through modification

of reinforcement contingencies.

Guys, I just spent the last 24 hours

memorizing all the capitals of all the countries in the world.

Go ahead, quiz me, quiz me, I really have to pee, quiz me.

Ellen, that seems a little overboard.

Well, it's just that I know so many things

and I didn't get a chance to prove it

with capitals of countries, but now I can.

Go ahead, Chloe, name a country. Samoa!

Mommy, I'm over capitals anyway.

I've moved on to memorizing Greek gods.

Greek mythology?

That's one of the few things I don't know.

It's my what's-his-name's heel!

Achilles.

I swear I know a lot of things, Chloe.

It's driving me crazy that every time you guys talk about something,

it's one of the few things I don't know.

I'm sure you do know a lot of things, Mommy.

How about constellations?

Next category.

Types of rocks?

Go back to constellations.

Oh, Mommy.

Principal Lawson kicked me out of the accelerated program.

-What? -That's terrible.

He says I cheated and you may not believe this, but I didn't.

We believe you, son.

We know you're not lying because we know your tell.

I have a tell?

Everyone has a mannerism that gives away when they're lying.

Watch. Hey, honey, you read my latest book, right?

Of course I did.

Did you spot it?

None of this is helping.

I'm gonna lose my shot at BMX because my friend Erik cheated

and he's letting me take the fall.

Why didn't you tell the principal?

What kind of person do you think I am?

I can't rat out a friend.

Oh, that reminds me, Avery broke your vase.

If he's letting you take the blame,

he doesn't seem like a very good friend.

I asked him to step up and confess

and he said he couldn't talk while he was eating pizza.

Which is totally weird

'cause he said that while he was eating pizza.

And he only offered me a small piece

whose pepperoni had been pulled off by the cheese

of the neighbor piece! He is not a friend!

Well, then you have a choice to make.

And we know you'll make the right decision.

Stan, I don't know what to do about Erik.

Okay. Wow.

You and Avery are both involved in cheating stories,

so this might be a little hard for me to navigate.

But I know this:

Erik is two-timing you with Lindsay and Max,

and you have to break up with him.

I'm not Erik's girlfriend.

Well, Lindsay will be happy to hear that

because I know she wanted him for herself.

But don't worry. I'll sort it all out.

It'll be easier than convincing Avery

she needs a new beauty treatment.

Stan!

What?

Oh, good, you guys are together.

-You made up? -No, we're still mad.

We just have to be at our work station because we're lab partners.

We're already in enough trouble for that.

Guys, I was thinking about this whole Brian thing

and I realized we shouldn't be mad at each other.

We should be mad at him.

Nothing is more important than our friendship.

I can't believe I lost sight of that.

Yeah, I've been thinking about that, too. He's the jerk.

I don't say this very often because the words make me gag,

but I love you guys. See?

Yeah, you guys should totally break up with him,

and I'll be sure to tell him

what a jerk he is on our next date.

-Lindsay... -But he plays ukulele.

All right, all right, our friendship's more important,

blah, blah, blah.

I really love you guys, too.

( together ) Aww.

There's only two things left to do now.

Get revenge on Brian

and get a selfie of us plotting revenge

'cause those are super-cute.

Aww, man.

Volleyball-head-skeleton photobombed us.

Oh, sorry I'm late. It's always some teacher's birthday.

I love cake, but if I want that beach body,

I've got to fire some faculty.

Wouldn't it be easier to have a no-cake rule?

A birthday without cake? What are you, heartless?

Principal Lawson, thanks for agreeing to see us.

I wanted to talk to you about the test.

You mean the test you cheated on?

That's the thing, I didn't cheat, Erik did.

It's hard for me to say that 'cause I thought he was my friend.

But he proved that he's not.

He gave me a piece of pizza without the pepperoni on it.

Just the greasy puddle where it once lived.

That is a very serious accusation, young man.

And the cheating thing, too. Why do you expect me to believe you?

Principal Lawson, our son told us that

he did not cheat on this test, and we believe him.

And I believe I'm not gonna forage through the garbage can

for that piece of cake after you leave,

but that doesn't make it the truth.

Especially after I've carefully lined it with sanitary plastic.

What if we provided evidence that Tyler did not cheat?

That's a great idea!

He'll take the test over.

That's a terrible idea.

I don't want to take the test again.

My brain is already on vacation.

It's on the beach scoping out girl brains.

Check out the frontal lobe on that one.

Tyler, you haven't said a single thing

to convince me that you're not a cheater.

If I have to, let's get it over with.

Ask me any question on the test.

I'm proud of you for doing this, Tyler.

And I know you're gonna ace this test.

Okay, Tyler, I'm going to ask you some random questions

from what you already studied.

First question, what year did the Mexican-American War start?

1846!

Ellen, this is Tyler's test.

But I know this, this is something I know.

-1846. -Correct!

Mrs. Jennings, pipe down.

Unless you want to go see Tyler.

Next question...

Covalent bond.

Correct.

Congratulations, you graduated. You answered every question.

Clearly, you know the material.

That's great, honey. I knew all of it, too!

Tyler, you have inspired me by learning all of that material.

If you can do that,

then I don't need to eat cake from the trash can.

So I do it because I want to, not because I need to.

Okay, I think I've finally got

these two cheating stories straight.

You're here at the food festival so you and the other girls

can get even with Brian for dating all three of you at once.

No, I'm here celebrating the fact that I graduated.

So you're gonna keep dating Brian?

If you act like a doormat, Tyler,

guys are going to keep taking advantage of you.

Stan, I am not a girl.

Shh, Tyler, people are going to figure out you can talk.

But I'm proud of you for graduating.

I want to get you a graduation falafel.

Ah, thanks, Stan, but you can't order at the booth.

That's okay, I can't pay for it either.

Get mine with extra hummus. Happy graduation!

Hey, dude, you ratted me out.

The principal made me redo the test

and now I'm out of the accelerated program.

And he took my pizza, it was weird, man.

He put it in his trash and then he ate it.

You know, friends don't do what you did.

That's true, because we stopped being friends

when you cheated off me and hung me out to dry.

See you, dude. Enjoy high school.

Wait, I'm in line for falafel. You get out of here.

Hey, Brian, I'm pretty hungry.

Would you mind getting me a spicy pork burrito?

Anything for you, Avery.

I hate spicy food, but whatever makes you happy.

Great, thanks.

And I'll make sure that you get yours.

Get my what?

Whatever you want to eat, corn dogs, chips.

What's coming to you.

Lindsay!

Hey, Brian. I didn't know you'd be here.

Is that your spicy burrito?

Uh...

I thought you didn't like spicy foods.

I see what's going on here.

-You do? -Yes. You're trying new things.

That's so cool. Eat it, eat it, eat it all up.

I'll get us some drinks, but I love watching you eat.

I'm not leaving until you eat the whole thing.

Isn't that great?

Yeah. I love it.

A spicy beef taco, please.

Can you get that for me? I'll be right back.

Hey, Brian.

Hey, Max.

I didn't know you'd be here. Is that your spicy beef taco?

-Uh... -Well, I'll go get us some drinks,

but first I want to watch you eat the whole taco.

Eat it, eat it, eat it all up.

Isn't that good?

Yeah. Fantastic.

Jalapeño poppers, please.

Could you get those? I'll get those drinks.

Hey, where's my spicy burrito?

Oh, you got yourself jalapeño poppers.

Trying new things. I like that.

Eat it, eat it, eat it all up.

There you are, I brought you dessert.

There you are, I brought you dessert.

There you are, I brought you dessert.

So I'm guessing you three know each other.

We're best friends.

You messed with the wrong girls.

So what are you doing later?

I mean, you messed with the wrong girls.

Now, if you'll excuse us, this is where we hug.

STAN: So Avery graduated high school

and Tyler and the other girls ate a lot of food.

I'm pretty sure none of that is right.

I'm not talking to you, Brian.

You cheated on the test.

Erik is the one who cheated on the test.

Why would you rat out your friend like that?

And where's my falafel?

Stan, maybe you should just take this week off and not write a blog.

You're really getting everything confused.

Sometimes I wonder

if you deserve that Dominican timeshare.

Anyway, good luck, Charlie.