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1
00:00:00,610 --> 00:00:03,849
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
2
00:00:04,050 --> 00:00:07,509
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
3
00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:11,880
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
4
00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:16,009
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
5
00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:20,269
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
6
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:22,860
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
7
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:25,859
Ooh!
8
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,539
- Mommy!
- Aaaaaaah!
9
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:28,940
- Duncan!
- Duncan!
10
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:31,118
11
00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:38,340
Really enjoying
that pizza, huh, Claire?
12
00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:40,659
Oh, yes.
I never get pizza at home.
13
00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:43,160
Both my parents
are heart surgeons.
14
00:00:43,170 --> 00:00:44,420
They call pizza heart bombs.
15
00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:46,579
Ah, well, we do it
every once in a while.
16
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,859
Every Friday's pizza night
because Mommy's too damn tired.
17
00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:54,919
What?
She doesn't know what days are.
18
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,750
- Monday, Tuesday...
- Eat your pizza.
19
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,420
What's so funny?
"Jay Leno's Garage"?
20
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:03,530
- I'm watching "Shut Up, Trish."
- Wait, what is "Shut Up, Trish"?
21
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,140
You've never heard
of "Shut Up, Trish?"
22
00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:07,099
It's the funniest thing.
It's so funny.
23
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,279
Don't feel bad, Mrs. Harris.
I've never heard of it either.
24
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:10,880
My parents don't let me
have a cell phone
25
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:11,930
because they think that...
26
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,529
Yeah, yeah, they call 'em
brain bombs. We get it, Claire.
27
00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:17,049
Oh, "Shut Up, Trish"
is this hilarious video
28
00:01:17,050 --> 00:01:19,439
where, like, a mom is trying
to buy her daughter a shirt,
29
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,389
and then the girl
tells her mom to shut up.
30
00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:22,629
She's my hero.
31
00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:26,039
- That shirt looks nice on you, honey.
- Shut up, Trish!
32
00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:29,289
Mommy, tell me
this shirt looks nice
33
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,879
- so I can tell you to shut up.
- So now it is funny to be rude
34
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,719
to the woman who loves you
more than anything in the world
35
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,689
and is just trying to buy you
a darling top.
36
00:01:38,690 --> 00:01:41,629
Yeah, and she's stupid rich.
She's got 12 million likes,
37
00:01:41,630 --> 00:01:43,389
danced with Ellen
on "The Ellen Show,"
38
00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:45,649
and is playing the villain
in the next Spider-Man movie.
39
00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:49,159
Whoa, one viral video,
and you're set for life.
40
00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:52,829
Cut!
41
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:55,140
I'm sorry.
Can I kill Spider-Man?
42
00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:58,259
- You're playing the villain.
- But I'm a viral star.
43
00:01:58,260 --> 00:02:02,259
- Swap.
- And action.
44
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,600
I gotta go.
45
00:02:05,930 --> 00:02:07,680
Hmm.
46
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,499
Hey, looks like your friend
Cody is having a party.
47
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,770
Yeah, his dad's having heart
surgery, so he's throwing a rager.
48
00:02:14,771 --> 00:02:17,499
My parents are doing the surgery.
It's their date night.
49
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,850
That's nice.
Be home by 9:00,
50
00:02:19,851 --> 00:02:22,169
and take this
untouched veggie pizza
51
00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:23,839
that we had to order for Claire.
52
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,860
I wasn't invited because I'm at
a music festival this weekend.
53
00:02:26,884 --> 00:02:29,509
- But you're not.
- That's what unpops like us say
54
00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:33,369
- when we're not invited to save face.
- Stop!
55
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,129
We're not supposed to tell
our parents our deepest hurts
56
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:36,790
because they feel
they have to fix it.
57
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,964
Come on, let's go post
pictures of ourselves
58
00:02:38,965 --> 00:02:41,129
in floppy hats and
say we're at Coachella.
59
00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:45,359
Jack, our daughter is an unpop!
We have to fix it.
60
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,789
But we always tell her
popularity doesn't matter.
61
00:02:47,790 --> 00:02:49,369
It's who you are on the inside.
62
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,039
Well, of course we say that,
but we both know that's not true.
63
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,219
Remember how popular
we were in high school?
64
00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:56,310
Were we ever!
65
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,469
We never had a night
with nothing to do.
66
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,989
It was exhausting
being as popular as we were.
67
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:02,729
I had two dates for the prom.
68
00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:03,800
You did?
69
00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:06,729
They even gave us
the yearbook cover.
70
00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:08,690
If we could get the pops
to hang with our unpop,
71
00:03:08,714 --> 00:03:11,220
- they'd see she's a total pop.
- Let's meddle.
72
00:03:11,221 --> 00:03:13,149
Go parents!
73
00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:14,669
- Yeah!
- Pow.
74
00:03:14,670 --> 00:03:18,229
- Can I go to Bradley's house?
- Sure, hop on.
75
00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:20,590
Go, Jing!
76
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,179
I win. Suck it, I guess.
77
00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:27,900
- Play again?
- Whatever.
78
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,829
Guys, what are we doing
with our lives?
79
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:33,259
We're supposed to be the generation
that stops climate change,
80
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:36,409
- ends gun violence, and frees the nip.
- Mia's right.
81
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:38,520
I could donate these coins
to the homeless
82
00:03:38,530 --> 00:03:40,419
instead of just buying
another backwards hat.
83
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,190
- I'm fired up.
- Hell yeah!
84
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,269
Let's go change the world.
85
00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:47,089
Let's get famous
by making a viral video.
86
00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,369
Hell yeah!
Let's go do that.
87
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,539
I was so close...
Hey, wait up!
88
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,949
If people thought
"Shut Up, Trish" was funny,
89
00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:59,040
wait until they hear me
tell my grandma to shut up.
90
00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:02,300
- Livestream up, Yangzi?
- You know I'm rolling.
91
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,459
Shut up, Grandma!
92
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:10,459
What in the good Lord's name
have I done
93
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:14,280
to inspire such cruelty in you?
94
00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:18,300
- No, Grandma, it's just a joke.
- No, it's obvious I've failed you.
95
00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:21,399
I'll pack my things
and go back to Dayton.
96
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,239
No, Grandma!
Please don't leave!
97
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,149
Ugh, I think a piece
of the devil got in me.
98
00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:30,239
You're my everything, Grandma!
You're my everything.
99
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:34,729
Oh, now hush.
Come hug your grandma.
100
00:04:35,641 --> 00:04:38,159
♪ Swing low ♪
101
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,419
♪ Sweet chariot ♪
102
00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:45,710
♪ Coming for to carry me home ♪
103
00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:48,980
What up, free world?
104
00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:50,240
This is bottle flip.
105
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,249
I'm gonna go
for 1,000 in a row.
106
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,009
One.
All right, now, one.
107
00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:56,769
Hoo. One.
108
00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:58,009
Dang. One.
109
00:04:58,010 --> 00:04:59,600
Shoot. One.
110
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:00,939
One, one.
111
00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:03,169
Okay, we 'bout to... nope, one.
112
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,440
One, one.
All right, you get it.
113
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:10,820
All right, now push your face
into that bread nice and slow.
114
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:14,449
And who's the audience
for this again?
115
00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:17,410
It's better you don't know.
Just keep facing.
116
00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:24,369
All right, America
and Spider-Man director,
117
00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:26,629
I'm about to do something
so dangerous,
118
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:30,130
I'm gonna break the Internet
and hopefully both my legs.
119
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:33,029
I'm gonna run down
the up escalator
120
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:37,940
in a little stunt I call...
"running down the up escalator."
121
00:05:43,390 --> 00:05:45,969
Take that, "Shut Up, Trish."
122
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,210
Ugh, help!
123
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,069
Gotta end sometime, right?
124
00:05:56,070 --> 00:05:58,739
- Ooh.
- Ow.
125
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:01,310
Let's bounce.
I will not be Blarted.
126
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,670
Oh, my God,
Cody has a chest hair.
127
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,230
And look at that
shark tooth necklace.
128
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,990
I heard it's
from Fort Lauderdale.
129
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,909
Ooh.
130
00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:21,470
Cool party.
And cooler shark tooth necklace.
131
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,999
- Somebody's been to Fort Lauderdale.
- Jack, focus.
132
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,169
We are here for our
depressingly unpopular daughter.
133
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,480
Right, let's do this.
134
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:34,399
Hey!
135
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,340
What happened to my water?
136
00:06:35,341 --> 00:06:37,999
Hands up!
Pool party enforcement.
137
00:06:38,034 --> 00:06:40,399
Looks like your parents
didn't pay the water bill.
138
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,409
Guess your party fun
is all dried up.
139
00:06:44,410 --> 00:06:47,429
- Unless...
- Unless what?
140
00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:50,759
Unless there was a more
awesome party venue.
141
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,419
Maybe... I don't know...
say, across the street?
142
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:55,529
I'm cold, man.
143
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,589
Stop acting weird
and tell us where to go.
144
00:06:57,590 --> 00:07:00,510
Achieving viral fame
is a lot harder than it looks.
145
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,349
Hats off to that farting priest.
146
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:04,279
You kids are in a lot of trouble.
147
00:07:05,430 --> 00:07:06,700
Wait, I said that wrong.
148
00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:08,369
You kids are gonna be
rich and famous.
149
00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:11,030
I'm Daryl Chrisakowsi,
senior VP of digital
150
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,690
youth marketing for
Stroke-a-Cola energy drink.
151
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,769
That's the drink that gave all
those test mice super diabetes.
152
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,369
- Give me some.
- I saw your escalator video.
153
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:20,810
You saw our video?
Did we go viral?
154
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:23,369
No, my dad's a mall cop,
and he told me about it,
155
00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:24,650
but I think
you're extreme enough
156
00:07:24,674 --> 00:07:27,234
to be the new face
of our fine product.
157
00:07:27,950 --> 00:07:29,379
But first, you need
to make a video
158
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:30,559
featuring Stroke-a-Cola,
159
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,809
and it needs to get a million
views in the next 12 hours.
160
00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:36,049
- Can you do it?
- Hell yeah.
161
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:39,239
I don't know.
I think we all have concussions.
162
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,889
I mean, hell yeah!
163
00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:43,129
Kimberly!
164
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,079
Ugh, I don't care
which Beach Boy died!
165
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,910
We have a surprise for you!
166
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,079
Every kid in town.
167
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,632
Hey.
168
00:08:03,170 --> 00:08:04,489
What the hell is going on?
169
00:08:04,490 --> 00:08:05,929
We hijacked Cody's party
170
00:08:05,930 --> 00:08:08,919
and turned it
into Kimberpalooza.
171
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,089
Are you insane?
I can't host a middle school party.
172
00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:13,679
First of all, you're here.
173
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,349
Chillax, baby,
we got everything you need,
174
00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:20,568
starting with T-T-Twister!
175
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,779
Blu-ray director's cut
of "The Secret Life of Pets."
176
00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:27,430
What could they be up to?
We'll just have to find out!
177
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,840
And the one thing
178
00:08:28,850 --> 00:08:31,349
any boy-girl party
wouldn't be complete without.
179
00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:34,850
- A bottle.
- For spinning...
180
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:38,211
to play spin the bottle
into the recycling bin.
181
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,709
Okay, everybody, I'm sorry
you got dragged over here.
182
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,029
If you wanna write loser
on my forehead,
183
00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:48,119
- I understand.
- Ah, I get it. It's a retro party.
184
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,809
- Cool.
- Yeah, retro.
185
00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:53,746
- I now think it's cool.
- I now think the same.
186
00:08:53,781 --> 00:08:55,459
Damn right, it's a retro party.
187
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:58,770
Dad, fire up the T-T-Twister.
188
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:05,879
Left foot green?
I did not see that coming.
189
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,399
They look like
they're having fun.
190
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,479
- Do you have a Twister game, Bradley?
- Heavens no.
191
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,310
I prefer games that
challenge the mind. Let's see.
192
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,319
- I have Mille Bornes.
- Uh-huh.
193
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,319
- Nine-men's morris.
- Sure.
194
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,910
Mancala, cribbage,
195
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,509
Game of the District
Messenger Boy.
196
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:29,759
Or let's have an imaginary tea party.
197
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,909
I generally use
my imagination for wondering
198
00:09:32,910 --> 00:09:36,760
what it would be like
to live in a colorblind world.
199
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:39,832
It's getting cold, Bradley.
200
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,559
Come on, guys,
we need a viral video.
201
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,409
That strange dude
from that shady company
202
00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:51,079
- is counting on us.
- Ooh, how about this?
203
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,899
We find an otter
and gradually earn its trust
204
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:57,179
until one day he introduces us
to his otter family.
205
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,519
Once we're accepted
as one of their own,
206
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,189
we film us working together
as a human otter society
207
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:05,359
to make a dam
out of the soda bottles...
208
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,042
Ugh, it's been done before.
209
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,950
Ugh, we need
to stimulate our brains.
210
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,439
Caffeine up.
211
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:18,849
- Whoa!
- What the?
212
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:21,610
Whoa, how did you do that?
213
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,209
What else did you have
in your mouth?
214
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:24,769
I don't know, nothing.
215
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:27,379
Just this super dangerously
caffeinated energy drink
216
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:30,550
and the breath mint I chew
instead of brushing my teeth.
217
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,459
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
218
00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:35,049
Did anybody else notice that?
219
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,369
If a little Stroke-a
and Dentos did that,
220
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,720
think of what a lot of
Stroke-a and Dentos could do.
221
00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:41,619
This could be
the clean energy solution
222
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:42,879
we've been looking for.
223
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,399
This is the idea
that could change the world.
224
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,560
Mia is right.
225
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,899
Let's build a rocket
and see how fast it goes.
226
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:54,210
We need one of these, but big.
Hmm...
227
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:58,149
Hey, let's use
that old hot water heater
228
00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,729
my dad told my mom
we took to the dump.
229
00:10:59,730 --> 00:11:01,639
We can't be riding around
on a rocket.
230
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,749
We have concussions.
231
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:06,080
No, we don't,
Mia One and Mia Two.
232
00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,979
Kimberly, this party is sick.
233
00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:15,759
- And your hair is amazing.
- Thanks, I hate it.
234
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,169
Quite the little soireé, isn't it?
235
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:21,249
You guys believed I could be
popular even when I didn't.
236
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,830
You are the coolest parents.
237
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:27,509
Cody's waiting for you
at the make out closet.
238
00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:29,589
I gotta get rid
of my jerk parents.
239
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:32,999
Who wants cake
and/or ice cream?
240
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,109
Mm-mmm.
241
00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:37,279
Mom, Claire's lactose intolerant.
242
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,339
You've gotta go to the store and
get sorbet or else she'll die.
243
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:42,529
Well, or she could just
not have the ice cream.
244
00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:44,529
Then she'll kill herself
for missing out.
245
00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:46,939
Either way, Claire's dead,
and it's on you.
246
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:50,317
- Hm.
- Isn't that right, Claire?
247
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,940
It's true.
248
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:56,020
Ooh, I'm feeling lightheaded
just talking about ice cream.
249
00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:58,379
Okay, okay, as long
as your father is here
250
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,699
to keep an eye on things, I'll go.
251
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,549
That was my first lie.
You do that every day?
252
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:05,289
If you don't,
you lose your edge.
253
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:07,290
And now, to the closet.
254
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:10,559
See, the key to raising
a prize-winning watermelon
255
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,799
is lots of water,
but not too much water.
256
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,600
Hey, Dad, too bad
your guitar's in the shop.
257
00:12:15,624 --> 00:12:17,989
All the kids have been asking
about you doing a live set.
258
00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:20,780
Really? Tell your mother
to keep an eye on things.
259
00:12:20,804 --> 00:12:23,219
- I've got a gig!
- Gotta get ready for my first kiss.
260
00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,389
I'm ready.
261
00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:28,819
Hey, where does Dad keep
his extra toilet?
262
00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:30,649
Ugh!
There's one in the garage.
263
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,210
- What are you doing?
- Building a rocket.
264
00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:34,249
What does it look like?
What are you doing?
265
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:35,250
I don't have all day.
266
00:12:35,251 --> 00:12:36,820
My old man's
almost out of surgery,
267
00:12:36,830 --> 00:12:39,580
- You're making out with guys?
- You're stealing Dad's stuff.
268
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:40,870
I'm telling Mom.
269
00:12:40,871 --> 00:12:42,564
Wait, don't tell Mom.
270
00:12:42,599 --> 00:12:44,679
That's Dad's shower chair.
He has one rule.
271
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,530
"Don't touch my shower chair."
272
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:51,273
Once I'm famous, none of us
will ever have to shower again.
273
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:57,529
Have fun
at your unsupervised party.
274
00:12:57,530 --> 00:13:01,529
- Did he say "unsupervised"?
- Yes, I did.
275
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:07,446
I've never been unsupervised.
Goodbye, coaster!
276
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:13,523
What a rush!
It's seven-layer dip!
277
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:18,550
I feel them all.
278
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:24,279
Don't just stand there.
279
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,209
We're unsupervised!
280
00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:29,469
Hi.
281
00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:31,652
Are you gonna talk
this whole time?
282
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,049
You're amazing.
Let's kiss.
283
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,960
Faster!
284
00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:45,819
Ah!
285
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,249
Okay, who's up
for "Secret Life of Pets"?
286
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:51,957
When the human's away,
the pets will... ah!
287
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,670
Okay, all fueled up.
288
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:02,759
Dang, you serious?
289
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,499
Countdown checklist... steering?
290
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:06,739
- No.
- Brakes?
291
00:14:06,740 --> 00:14:08,570
- No.
- Helmets.
292
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:09,590
- No.
- American flag?
293
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,090
Hell yeah.
294
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,429
Duncan, are you really sure
you wanna do this?
295
00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:14,989
I have to.
296
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,910
I made a sacred vow
to an energy drink sales rep.
297
00:14:16,911 --> 00:14:18,391
Okay, but if you
don't make it back,
298
00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:20,329
there's one thing
that I want you to know.
299
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:24,071
- Hm?
- This was completely unnecessary.
300
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:25,939
What up, America?
301
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,169
It's your boy Yangzi
streaming to you live
302
00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:29,500
for Stroke-a-Cola Energy Drink,
303
00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:31,619
the only energy drink
that will stop your heart
304
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,009
and start your mind.
305
00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:35,029
What you're about to see
is totally real,
306
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,340
unlike the moon landing.
307
00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:39,710
- Here we go.
- Let's fire this baby up!
308
00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:45,000
Here I come, God, you coward!
309
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,370
- What's wrong?
- Hang on, let me jiggle it.
310
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:56,880
I'm sorry, God!
You're so damn brave!
311
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,979
- We're gonna die.
- If we die, we die together.
312
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,770
00:15:05,039
We gotta do something.
314
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,209
Right, let's make a GoFundMe
for Duncan's funeral.
315
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:09,900
His family's gonna be so broke.
316
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:16,069
Okay, dairy-free desert
for the girl who ate half a pizza.
317
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:18,739
All right, what would
12-year-olds love?
318
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:21,149
I know, an hour of acoustic Rush!
319
00:15:21,150 --> 00:15:24,059
Jack, you're supposed to be
supervising the party.
320
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,489
Kimberly told me
you were supervising.
321
00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:30,319
Oh, Annie, you got played.
322
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,010
We both got played
like nine-men's morris.
323
00:15:34,045 --> 00:15:35,600
I'm gonna lay down the law
on that kid
324
00:15:35,610 --> 00:15:38,739
- as soon as I'm done with my gig.
- There is no gig.
325
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:41,140
First one home
gets to ground Kimberly.
326
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:47,070
Oh!
327
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,009
Jack, you're driving
too fast and too furious.
328
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:55,997
It's for family, Annie.
All we got is family... family!
329
00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:01,259
Duncan?
What the hell are you doing?
330
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,870
A viral stunt. I wanna be
famous and kill Spider-Man.
331
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,999
Is that my shower chair?
332
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,269
I have one rule, Duncan!
One rule!
333
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:15,481
- You on the water heater, pull over.
- Can't, no brakes.
334
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,081
I got a shot.
Should I open fire?
335
00:16:17,116 --> 00:16:19,321
Did you learn nothing
from the seminar?
336
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:25,040
I can't stop wetting myself!
337
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,639
He is surprisingly excited about that.
338
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:32,309
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
We're at 999,000.
339
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:34,219
We're about to be
famous forever.
340
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:42,249
Hey, you know what's more fun
than stabbing?
341
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:46,069
Sitting.
342
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:50,739
Mom's cart!
343
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,069
Hey, you know what's
also extreme?
344
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:54,329
Charging that in the outlet.
345
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,149
Okay.
346
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:57,319
Hi-yah!
347
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,500
Hey, are those
my dad's Steely Dan albums?
348
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:02,266
- Yeah.
- Carry on.
349
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:03,980
Hi-yah!
350
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:10,389
What the heck
is happening down there?
351
00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:12,609
They're acting out
because they don't know
352
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:14,590
how to cope with their hormones.
353
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,759
I wanna be friends
with my hormones.
354
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:21,950
There's no way around
adolescence... only through.
355
00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:25,510
- Wanna act like puppies?
- Okay.
356
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:30,869
Why aren't you making
any sounds?
357
00:17:30,870 --> 00:17:34,676
I'm a basenji,
the barkless dog.
358
00:17:34,711 --> 00:17:36,816
Of course you are.
359
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,720
Claire, we've gotta
figure out a cool way
360
00:17:38,744 --> 00:17:40,029
to shut this party down.
361
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,869
What's that in your hand?
Is that a peanut?
362
00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:45,219
Don't you dare.
You're allergic!
363
00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:48,219
My entire life,
I've never had one.
364
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:52,319
I have to know!
Take my EpiPen.
365
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,469
Claire, no,
if your throat closes,
366
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:56,149
who will help me clean?
367
00:17:57,141 --> 00:17:58,639
See you on the other side.
368
00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:05,570
Wow, it's everything
my allergist said...
369
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,499
I think I do better
with supervision.
370
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,370
Duncan, how many fingers
am I holding up?
371
00:18:30,394 --> 00:18:31,339
One.
372
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:34,650
And what's my one rule?
Oh.
373
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,469
All right, kids,
everyone go home.
374
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,710
Nothing to see here.
375
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:46,899
Are you kidding?
376
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,580
A toilet just took out
a police helicopter.
377
00:18:48,604 --> 00:18:50,569
Kimberly threw
the greatest party of all time.
378
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:55,829
Whoa, hold on, Margot's
parents are lost at sea.
379
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,819
She's home alone
until they find them.
380
00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,899
- They've got a finished basement.
- And her dad has a hookah!
381
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,410
Margot's the new Kimberly!
382
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:09,569
What up, dumbasses?
You know me.
383
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:11,904
Daryl Chrisakowsi,
senior VP of digital youth
384
00:19:11,905 --> 00:19:14,239
marketing for
Stroke-a-Cola energy drink.
385
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,590
So am I the new face
of Stroke-a-Cola?
386
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,909
Absolutely.
387
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:20,579
Wait, I said that wrong.
No.
388
00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:23,080
You, peanut girl.
How'd you like to be the face
389
00:19:23,090 --> 00:19:25,769
of a company involved
in three class action lawsuits?
390
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,490
- Okay.
- But I almost died.
391
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,329
And I appreciate that,
but she did die.
392
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:33,559
- I saw God.
- I love it.
393
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,960
The Christian market
is gonna eat you up.
394
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:40,460
Bye, dumbasses!
395
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:44,399
I was so close.
396
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,069
Popularity is for losers.
397
00:19:46,070 --> 00:19:48,294
Yeah, they're probably
all in Margot's stupid
398
00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:50,519
finished basement
making out like idiots.
399
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,520
- Yeah, losers.
- Yeah.
400
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:59,509
The quest for celebrity
is a hollow pursuit.
401
00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:02,589
Validation must come
from within.
402
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:03,860
Socrates posited...
403
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,674
Bradley, go home!
404
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,983
Very well.
405
00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:13,539
I have never been more furious
at you kids in my life.
406
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:15,049
The only thing
that'll calm me down
407
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:17,239
is eating the watermelon
I spent all summer growing
408
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,232
while listening to the soothing
jazz rock of Steely Dan.
409
00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:28,069
No!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
410
00:20:28,070 --> 00:20:30,624
Okay, kids, go inside and tell your dad
411
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:33,179
how sorry you are and
how much you love him.
412
00:20:33,180 --> 00:20:36,089
- Mom, no!
- What did I do?
413
00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:38,769
Please, just beat us!
414
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,559
It's sturdy,
but I don't feel cradled.
415
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,119
It's just so hard to tell
with my clothes on.
416
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,450
What do you think, honey?
417
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:52,959
They're all equally pathetic.
Jack, pick one.
418
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,049
Duncan, you selfishly
destroyed my chair.
419
00:20:55,050 --> 00:20:56,309
What do you think?
420
00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:58,959
Ugh, quiet, I'm watching
something important.
421
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,070
Shock your system
with Stroke-a-Cola.
422
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,729
Ugh, no fair.
423
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:06,229
Why couldn't I have been
born with deadly allergies?
424
00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:07,749
Look at this.
425
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:10,229
Claire's at Coachella with
Shut Up, Trish, and Spider-Man.
426
00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:11,489
Come on, take a sit.
427
00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:13,829
I don't have time to sit
in the shower, okay?
428
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:15,810
I'm a busy, working mother.
429
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:18,239
I'm juggling home and...
430
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,239
- Oh, my God.
- Right?
431
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,149
Scooch over.
432
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:26,170
Now imagine the water's
been running for 90 minutes.
433
00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:29,159
- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh.
434
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,840
- Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
- God, stop.
435
00:21:30,850 --> 00:21:32,310
Blegh.
436
00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:36,801
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