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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:03,710 Katie: No, no, no! 2 00:00:03,710 --> 00:00:04,830 I did not spend an entire day doing laundry 3 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,290 just to have it ruined by one stupid sock! 4 00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:08,170 Tell me where your friend is! 5 00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:10,210 Answer me, you son of a bitch! 6 00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,250 Don't worry -- 7 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:13,080 she always swears at the laundry. 8 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,120 Now, what causes thunder? 9 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:16,500 Oh, I know this one! 10 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,580 Thunder happens when two clouds 11 00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:20,710 bump into each other super hard. 12 00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:23,830 Super...hard. 13 00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:25,120 Greg: Actually, Trip, 14 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,540 thunder occurs when lightning, 15 00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:28,250 which is a discharge of electricity, 16 00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:30,000 shoots through the air, causing vibrations. 17 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,580 Good one, Mr. A. 18 00:00:31,580 --> 00:00:33,330 "Vibrations." 19 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:36,380 Hey, Dad, after we're finished studying, 20 00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:37,790 can Trip and I go see a midnight movie? 21 00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:39,960 Sounds fun, but you have to ask your Mom first. 22 00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:43,040 You know that she can't be out till 2:00 a.m. 23 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,250 on a school night. 24 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,420 Why do you always make me the bad cop? 25 00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:47,960 'Cause you're so good at it. Yeah. 26 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,540 Spoiling fun. 27 00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:51,120 That's what attracted me to the parenting business 28 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,710 to begin with. 29 00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:56,380 Taylor, absolutely no midnight movies. 30 00:00:56,380 --> 00:00:57,790 Trip: Don't worry, babe. 31 00:00:57,790 --> 00:00:59,420 We'll just see a midnight movie earlier, 32 00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:00,420 at like 9:00. 33 00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:02,670 You are so smart. 34 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,210 Uh, hey, guys. 35 00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:10,210 Hey, Dad. Mr. A! 36 00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:11,290 Oh, I almost forgot. 37 00:01:11,290 --> 00:01:12,710 How am I supposed to do the laundry 38 00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:13,830 without the laundry? 39 00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:20,830 Mm. 40 00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:24,670 Katie, can you come here for a minute? 41 00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:27,000 What's up? 42 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,210 Nothing. 43 00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:39,670 Katie! 44 00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:41,210 Katie: Ohh. 45 00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:42,580 What do you want, Greg? 46 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,670 I want you to stay in this room and never leave, ever. 47 00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:45,880 Does that mean I stay here 48 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,080 and you do the grocery shopping? 49 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,420 Is this some sort of trick 50 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:49,790 to get almond butter back in the house? 51 00:01:49,790 --> 00:01:50,750 Not falling for it. 52 00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:55,460 Want a back rub? Yay! 53 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,750 Mm. 54 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,250 Wow. 55 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:01,580 Your corneas are so tight. Mm. 56 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:05,210 ♪♪ 57 00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:07,170 Oliver, here's your laundry. 58 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,120 I put anything you labeled "dry clean only" 59 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,500 in the washer 60 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:13,210 because dry cleaning is just a bunch of voodoo. 61 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,580 Why are you taking down all your stuff? 62 00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,420 Did the ghost of Westport Douche Future 63 00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:19,580 pay you a visit? 64 00:02:19,580 --> 00:02:21,420 Gina is coming over for the first time, 65 00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:23,420 and I don't want her to get the wrong impression. 66 00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:24,500 If she sees all this, she might think I'm a... 67 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,710 Materialistic snob? A preppy idiot? 68 00:02:26,710 --> 00:02:28,500 A pubescent Mr. Monopoly? 69 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,500 Oliver, I'm landing shots left and right here. 70 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:31,580 Stand up for yourself. 71 00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:32,710 Mom, this is serious. 72 00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:34,080 Gina isn't from Westport. 73 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,250 She's from South Brampton, 74 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,380 so she's not into the whole money thing. 75 00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:39,250 So you're telling me 76 00:02:39,250 --> 00:02:41,790 that you are willing to change your entire personality 77 00:02:41,790 --> 00:02:42,670 for your new girlfriend? 78 00:02:42,670 --> 00:02:44,210 You're disappointed. 79 00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:45,750 You think I should be myself, no matter what? 80 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:46,880 Of course not. 81 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,620 I love that you're changing! 82 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,120 Your personality is terrible. 83 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,380 Ladies and gentlemen, my mom. 84 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,790 No, I mean, it is terrible. 85 00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:57,040 If I wasn't your mother, I'd be like, 86 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,080 "Who is your mother?" 87 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,330 ♪♪ 88 00:03:04,670 --> 00:03:06,380 Neeeigh! 89 00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:09,710 Ahhhhhh- uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunck! 90 00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:11,670 I made a T. rex noise. 91 00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:13,080 Be better, Franklin. 92 00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:15,790 Anna-Kat, you're never gonna believe what just happened. 93 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,040 Try me. 94 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,330 You know how I've been trying 95 00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:19,620 to teach your brother that money isn't everything? 96 00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:21,790 Well, I think he finally learned his lesson, 97 00:03:21,790 --> 00:03:23,460 thanks to that new girlfriend of his. 98 00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:26,330 A lot of windup for very little payoff. 99 00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:28,040 I can see you're not the audience 100 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,000 for news about Oliver's personal growth. Nope. 101 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,540 Now, if you'll excuse us, 102 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,000 I have to teach Franklin 103 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,710 how to make pony noises correctly. 104 00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:36,790 Mm. 105 00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:38,080 Can I go home yet? 106 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,460 This playdate is over when I say it's over. 107 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:43,080 Hey, great news -- 108 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,540 Oliver is becoming less of a materialistic jerk 109 00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:47,040 because of Gina Tuscadero. 110 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,710 Yeah, well, I have terrible news. 111 00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:50,290 I just got a back rub from Trip, 112 00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,380 and it felt amazing. 113 00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,120 Why did you let him give you a back rub? 114 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,710 It was the only thing I could do 115 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:56,210 to keep his hands off Taylor. 116 00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:57,670 Those two are all over each other. 117 00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:58,750 I didn't see anything. 118 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,170 That's because, for some strange reason, 119 00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:01,540 they're never handsy in front of you. 120 00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:02,750 Oh... 121 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,210 That's because no one fears the good cop. 122 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,540 You give them dessert before dinner. 123 00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:08,170 You do their homework when they fall behind. 124 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:11,250 Taylor knows not to pull that PDA stuff around me. 125 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,920 But with the good cop, anything goes. 126 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,580 I want to learn to be a less likable parent. 127 00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:17,250 Teach me. 128 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,710 Next time you see Taylor and Trip's PDA, 129 00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:21,500 shut it down with "The Look." 130 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,330 What's "The Look"? 131 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:24,920 Ooh, that's good. 132 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,420 Shuts the kids down every time. 133 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:27,210 Give it a try. 134 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,250 You holding in a fart, Greg? 135 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,420 No, I'm trying to look mean. 136 00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:32,250 Well, try harder. 137 00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:33,580 Remember how angry you were 138 00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:35,960 when we walked into that Abe Lincoln-themed diner 139 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,040 and they sat us in the John Wilkes Booth booth? 140 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,460 There it is. 141 00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:43,920 That must be Gina. 142 00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:47,290 The girl who made our son less of a tool 143 00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:48,500 and, through her parents' restaurant, 144 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,830 has unlimited access to pizza. 145 00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:52,210 Pinch me! I think I'm dreaming. Greg: 146 00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:56,290 Remember, Gina is a regular girl. 147 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,500 This is no time to stop acting like yourselves. 148 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,790 Hey, Gina. Hey, Oliver. 149 00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:04,920 Wow. Your house is so nice. 150 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,330 Thanks. 151 00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:08,460 Just two good, hardworking people, 152 00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:10,750 trying their best to provide for their family. 153 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:11,790 I'll sign the papers 154 00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,210 for their teen marriage right now. 155 00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:15,830 You remember my mom and dad. 156 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:18,120 And my sister Taylor and her boyfriend, Trip. 157 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,170 And this is my little sister Anna-Kat 158 00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:21,710 and her friend Franklin. 159 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,040 Actually, Franklin and I just made it official. 160 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,420 We're an item now. 161 00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:31,620 What's an item? 162 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,500 How I hooked this tuna, I'll never know. 163 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,120 Come on in. 164 00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:42,670 So, Gina... 165 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,290 Oh, come on. 166 00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:46,830 These dishes are so nice. 167 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,210 Thank you. I got them from CVS. 168 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:52,380 And this shirt's from Ross, from the irregular bin. 169 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,000 Well, you better not tell anybody, 170 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,580 or they'll kick you out of Westport. 171 00:05:57,580 --> 00:06:00,080 Look at that -- Oliver fell for his mother. 172 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,210 Yeah, Westport's the worst. 173 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,790 All people care about is showing off how rich they are. 174 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,790 Buenos días, Ottos! 175 00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:09,540 Check out what I just charged to my black Amex. 176 00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:11,960 It is a custom-made, Italian leather tote bag. 177 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,080 Everyone, form a line to feel. 178 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,040 Who is this? 179 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,830 I'm Cooper, Oliver's best friend. 180 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:19,710 Really? 181 00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:21,830 Cooper and I hang out on occasion. 182 00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:22,830 All the time. 183 00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:24,210 Now, dude, let's go. 184 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:25,540 There's a bocce tournament at the club, 185 00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:27,750 and I have to swing by the house to change into my whites. 186 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,620 This is eggshell. 187 00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:31,830 Oh. 188 00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:33,920 Actually, Gina and I are going mini-golfing. 189 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,330 Not enough Purell in the world, brotha. 190 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,290 Has anyone ever described you as "punchable"? 191 00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,250 Sorry, Coop. 192 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,540 Gina and I already made plans. 193 00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,380 You and I can go to the club another time. 194 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:45,670 Come on, Oliver, 195 00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:47,500 we gotta leave now if we want to catch the bus. 196 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,830 Don't worry about it. I'll give you a ride. 197 00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,750 Did you not hear me? 198 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:52,210 It's Bocce Day. 199 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,920 Bocce! 200 00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,880 That girl's trouble, Mrs. Otto. 201 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,330 She's not like one of us. 202 00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:02,790 Cooper: 203 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,710 You don't have any Fiji Water. 204 00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:07,000 I'll put that on your shopping list. 205 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,040 Cooper, the only reason you're in this house 206 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,210 is Oliver's here. 207 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:11,170 So when he's not here, 208 00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,460 you're not here. 209 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:13,290 ¿Comprende? 210 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:22,120 ♪♪ 211 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,420 Smart -- age up the leather. 212 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:28,120 I don't want to look like new money. 213 00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:32,540 Oliver is becoming a better person, 214 00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:34,000 and I might finally have 215 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,710 his obnoxious Richie Rich friend 216 00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:37,540 out of my life forever. 217 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,250 The only way this day could get better 218 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,330 is if I found that -- 219 00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:43,960 Move over, birth of my children. 220 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,040 This is officially the best day of my life. 221 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,210 Vacation's over, bitch. 222 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:47,920 ♪♪ 223 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:55,540 Narrator: When lightning shoots through the air, 224 00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:57,330 it causes vibrations that we call "thunder." 225 00:07:57,330 --> 00:07:58,710 Now do you believe me? 226 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,830 Way to double down on a joke, Mr. A. 227 00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:04,880 So, Anna-Kat, how long have you and Franklin been dating? 228 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,250 You mean, when did we first know 229 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,750 we were madly in love? Mm-hmm. 230 00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,420 That's a great question. 231 00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:11,420 Sweetie, when did we first know? 232 00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:13,000 I have an extra toe. 233 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,500 Oh, Franklin. 234 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,000 The things you say. 235 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,250 Narrator: This is a cumulus cloud. 236 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,830 And this is an altocumulus cloud. 237 00:08:20,830 --> 00:08:22,120 And this is... 238 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,620 Katie: A bored housewife closing her eyes. 239 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:24,670 See ya. 240 00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:30,580 Taylor. 241 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,830 Whoa! Dad, are you okay? 242 00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:36,330 Is your IBS acting up? 243 00:08:36,330 --> 00:08:38,380 I'm fine. Just focus on the program. 244 00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:49,710 Mr. A, I definitely think something is wrong. 245 00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:51,670 My dog made the same face you're making now, 246 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:53,170 and later that day, he died. 247 00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:54,880 We need to get you to a vet, ASAP. 248 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,580 Trip, the only thing that's wrong with me 249 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:57,710 is the fact that you two 250 00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:59,170 won't keep your hands off each other! 251 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:02,460 Dad, you're being so uncool right now. 252 00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:03,880 I don't care. 253 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,420 Taylor, your PDA is completely unacceptable, 254 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,000 and I will not have it in this house anymore. 255 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,040 Are we clear? 256 00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:10,670 Of course, sir. 257 00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:13,710 I should go. 258 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,170 Trip and I like each other. 259 00:09:18,170 --> 00:09:19,920 We're just doing what couples do. 260 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,170 I expect mom to freak out, 261 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:22,540 but I thought you were cooler than that. 262 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,620 I guess I was wrong. 263 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,210 Move over, Bruce Willis. 264 00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:29,250 There's a new bad cop on the force. 265 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:31,420 Yippee-daba-doo, mother-may-I. 266 00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:33,670 Is that right? 267 00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:35,080 No. 268 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,540 ♪♪ 269 00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:39,000 Grand? 270 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,500 More like a bland jeté, Rachel. Rachel's garbage. 271 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,540 Cooper: Hey, amigo. 272 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,290 Dónde está you been? 273 00:09:44,290 --> 00:09:45,960 I gave you a call yesterday. Yeah. 274 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,580 Conveniently, when you knew I'd be 275 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,330 at my grass court tennis lesson. 276 00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:50,750 Why'd he say what the court was made out of? 277 00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:52,420 It's one of those Westport things. 278 00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,420 Hey, Oliver, you live in Westport. 279 00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:55,670 Dude, what's your deal? 280 00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:56,960 You meet her, 281 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,250 and suddenly you're acting all not high and mighty. 282 00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:00,210 Cooper, let's talk about this later. No. 283 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,500 I want to talk about it now. 284 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,670 If she doesn't want to hang out with me, I -- 285 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,670 She never said that. I didn't say it yet. 286 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,460 See? She said it. 287 00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:08,120 She still hasn't technically said it. 288 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,380 I don't want to hang out with you. 289 00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:13,380 Well, now she said it. 290 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,620 Looks like you're gonna have to choose. 291 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,080 Is it me or her? 292 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,120 Don't be like that. 293 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,330 Oliver, let's go. 294 00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:22,670 It's high noon, muchacho. 295 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:28,210 ♪♪ 296 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,670 I'll see you around, Cooper. 297 00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:32,460 You get a girlfriend and blow off your buddy -- 298 00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,040 fine. 299 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,710 Just remember, before I took you under my wing, 300 00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:37,710 you were nothing! 301 00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:40,580 You wore seersucker in the Fall like a friggin' townie! 302 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:44,000 ♪♪ 303 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,210 It's so cool that you have a pig as a pet. 304 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,580 Oh, yeah, I love him. 305 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:51,000 Can't get enough of this filthy guy. 306 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:55,960 Hey, Mom. Katie: Mm-hmm. 307 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,620 I need some advice. Sure. 308 00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:59,080 Stop wearing your sister's jeans. 309 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,500 Boom! Up top! 310 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,120 Don't be mad. 311 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,460 You give me a setup like that, 312 00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:04,620 I'm gonna crush it. 313 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,380 Cooper and Gina don't get along, 314 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,170 and they made me choose sides. Mm-hmm. 315 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:09,170 I picked Gina, 316 00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:10,790 and now Cooper and I aren't talking. 317 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:12,250 What should I do? Nothing. 318 00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,040 It's always hos before bros. 319 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,000 Isn't it bros before hos? 320 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,500 Hey, this is 2018. 321 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,000 There has been real progress in this country. 322 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,710 Hos have come a long way. 323 00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:22,960 You guys ready to go? 324 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,620 I'm dropping them off at Gina's family's restaurant. 325 00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:26,120 The kids will have dinner there. 326 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,000 Mm. Dad, you should come in and grab a calzone. 327 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,250 Wow. Normally, you ask me to come to a rolling stop, 328 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,920 and then you say, "Thanks, Uber driver." 329 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,290 He's joking. 330 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,880 Hey, Franklin, why don't you come with us, buddy? 331 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,250 Your house is on the way. 332 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,250 You're leaving without saying goodbye? 333 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:42,420 Seriously, Franklin, what is happening to us? 334 00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:44,040 I wanted to name my cat Mittens, 335 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,710 but my mom wouldn't let me. 336 00:11:45,710 --> 00:11:46,960 Now its name is Phillip. 337 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,210 Wow. 338 00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:50,290 I think we should take some time to cool off 339 00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,080 before we say something we regret. 340 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,210 I'll be in my room, 341 00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:57,290 listening to the sad song from "Mulan." 342 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:02,670 Looks like it's just you and me for dinner, 343 00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:03,790 Hans Gruber. 344 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:07,120 Hola, Mrs. Otto. 345 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,330 Adiós, Cooper. 346 00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:09,540 Oliver's not here. 347 00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:11,250 Oh, I know. I just saw him leave. 348 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:12,620 I actually came here to see you. 349 00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:14,000 Me? Yeah. 350 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,080 It's bad enough I lose my best friend, 351 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,580 but that means I also lose you. 352 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,080 Me? 353 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,380 Yeah. 354 00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:24,080 I mean, my parents travel all the time, 355 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,290 so you're, like, the only one 356 00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,040 who's looking out for good ole Cooper B. 357 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,040 But all I do is yell at you. 358 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,380 Yeah, we have a good back-and-forth. 359 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:34,120 So, anyway, I just came by to say... 360 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:38,000 I'm gonna, you know, miss you. 361 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,710 And stuff. 362 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,920 Cooper. 363 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,250 Yeah? 364 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,380 Have you eaten yet? 365 00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:52,920 No. 366 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,460 Then, why don't you sit down and have dinner with me? 367 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:56,460 Really?! Mm-hmm. 368 00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,040 Thanks, Mrs. Otto. 369 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,380 Just so you know, I'm not expecting anything fancy. 370 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,540 I'll be fine with whatever you're making. 371 00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:03,880 I'll just put some truffle oil on it. 372 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,170 I don't have truffle oil. 373 00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:06,710 Oh, shaved truffles are fine. 374 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:07,880 If you say "truffles" again, 375 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,080 I will beat you with this broom handle. 376 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,960 See, this is the back-and-forth 377 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:11,960 that I'm talking about. 378 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,750 Mm-hmm. 379 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:17,790 ♪♪ 380 00:13:17,790 --> 00:13:19,880 I had the chance to get that spoiled, arrogant brat 381 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,120 out of my life once and for all. 382 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,330 Oliver's gone?! 383 00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,380 I'm talking about Cooper. 384 00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:24,420 Pay attention, Doris. 385 00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,790 I let him stay for dinner, 386 00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:27,080 and by the end of the night, 387 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,170 I am blow-torching his pudding 388 00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:29,670 to make it a crème brûlée. 389 00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:31,670 It sounds like he needs you in his life. 390 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:33,420 I know, and I want to help him, 391 00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,210 but I can't have Gina going anywhere. 392 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:37,790 She's made Oliver mildly pleasant. 393 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,210 Then you're gonna have to teach Cooper 394 00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,540 to be less of a spoiled brat. 395 00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:41,920 I just got Anna-Kat to learn 396 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,170 flushing is not optional. 397 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,000 I don't have time for extracurricular mothering. 398 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,460 At least I have the Taylor situation under control. 399 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,830 She and her boyfriend have been a little too PDA-y, 400 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,170 and I told Greg that he needs to put his foot down, 401 00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:53,380 and he actually did. 402 00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:55,710 Oh. So they're not all over each other anymore? 403 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,670 Haven't even seen them. 404 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,040 Dude, you played that all wrong. 405 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,330 So wrong. 406 00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:05,080 Why? 407 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,620 You want Taylor and Trip to make out at your house 408 00:14:06,620 --> 00:14:08,170 'cause then they'd be at your house. Mm-hmm. 409 00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:09,790 They could be anywhere right now, 410 00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:11,380 doing anything. 411 00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:13,540 God, you're right. 412 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,330 I was the girl who didn't bring boyfriends home 413 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,790 because I didn't like my parents. Mm-hmm. 414 00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:19,170 And what were you and your boyfriend doing at Taylor's age? 415 00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:22,710 Well, they called me "Everything Goes Katie," so... 416 00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:24,040 Oh, God! 417 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,500 ♪♪ 418 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,290 You see, Cooper has no one looking out for him, 419 00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:31,920 so with him, by being the bad cop, 420 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,580 I'm actually the good cop. 421 00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:34,580 And with Taylor, 422 00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,210 me being the bad cop wasn't a good thing. 423 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,000 Yeah, because now she's off somewhere with Trip, 424 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,290 playing the childhood favorite, 425 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:40,380 "You show me yours, I'll show you mine." 426 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,420 Aah! That's my baby! 427 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:44,380 Come on, Greg. She's 16. 428 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:45,830 Don't make me go to the la-la-la's. 429 00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:48,000 Face it -- your baby has urges. 430 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,750 La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, 431 00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:51,330 la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Fine. I'll stop. 432 00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:52,170 La-la. 433 00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:53,790 I've got to work with Cooper, 434 00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:55,250 and you've got to make it 435 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:57,250 so that Taylor and Trip feel comfortable in the house 436 00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:58,460 so that we can keep an eye on her. 437 00:14:58,460 --> 00:15:00,710 So I want Taylor and Trip to make out in front of me, 438 00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:02,790 and you want to spend more time with Cooper Bradford? 439 00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:04,250 I know I say this a lot, 440 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,210 so it's lost a little bit of its meaning, 441 00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,920 but the kids have truly ruined our lives. 442 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,170 ♪♪ 443 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,750 So, to stay friends with Oliver, 444 00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,120 you have to become friends with Gina. 445 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,120 Is that it? 446 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,250 So easy. 447 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,210 For a girl like Gina, 448 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,750 I bet her number's pretty low. 449 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:22,670 5 grand feels right. 450 00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:24,290 You can't buy her friendship. 451 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:25,960 You are going to have to stop acting 452 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,960 like an entitled ass, 453 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,120 and I'm going to teach you how. 454 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,670 Lesson one -- 455 00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:34,380 never say "custom-made Italian leather tote bag" 456 00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:36,120 ever again. 457 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,290 Lesson one, 458 00:15:37,290 --> 00:15:39,580 and I'm already way outside my comfort zone. 459 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,420 See, all of these things in here 460 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,330 are meals that normal people would eat. 461 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:47,750 Chicken fingers? That's a meal. 462 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,210 Those look gross, 463 00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:51,000 but with a little truffle oil -- 464 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,620 Say you're at a restaurant, 465 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:59,330 and you accidentally knock over someone's drink. 466 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,670 What do you do? 467 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,790 I crumple two $50s and throw it at them. 468 00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:04,250 No. 469 00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:06,120 You say "sorry" and offer to clean it up. 470 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,750 How do you know all this stuff? 471 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,040 ♪♪ 472 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,420 Anna-Kat: Dr. Ellie, 473 00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:16,290 in the beginning, Franklin was so romantic. 474 00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:18,420 He picked me first at dodgeball, 475 00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,460 he gave me all the good crayons, 476 00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:22,040 but now, 477 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,580 it's like we're not even in the same conversation. 478 00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,290 Anna-Kat, I don't think Franklin 479 00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:28,000 is acting like he's in a relationship. 480 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,420 You hit the nail on the head, Doc. 481 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:31,460 No, I mean, 482 00:16:31,460 --> 00:16:33,120 you're in a relationship with Franklin, 483 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,500 but he's not in one with you. 484 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:35,830 Franklin doesn't even know 485 00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:36,960 you guys are boyfriend-girlfriend. 486 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,920 Is that true, Franklin? 487 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,290 What class is this? 488 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,790 You see what I'm dealing with here? 489 00:16:41,790 --> 00:16:44,170 I'm going to my mother's. 490 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:49,330 ♪♪ 491 00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:50,670 Taylor! Can I talk to you for a minute?! 492 00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:51,790 Taylor: What?! 493 00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:57,540 I just wanted to tell you I made a mistake. 494 00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:59,170 Your and Trip's PDA is normal, 495 00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:00,960 and I was wrong to get in the way of that. 496 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,960 I accept your apology. 497 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,000 And no more intercepting my back rubs. Fine. 498 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,580 Because you're comfortable 499 00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:08,790 showing how you feel about Trip in front of me, 500 00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:10,580 I'm comfortable showing how I feel about your mother 501 00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:11,710 in front of you. 502 00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:13,880 Kitty Cat, are you there? 503 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,500 Yes, Snuggle Bug? 504 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,670 I just wanted to tell you I love you very, very much. 505 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,380 Katie: That is so sweet. 506 00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:22,670 Seems like Papa Bear deserves a widdle kiss. 507 00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:24,000 Aww. 508 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,830 Taylor: All right, I get it. Okay. 509 00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,420 Okay. 510 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,120 Okay! Stop! 511 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,330 Oh, we're just showing that we like each other. 512 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:34,210 That's what couples do. Mm-hmm. 513 00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:36,830 All right. 514 00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,170 Okay. I get it. 515 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,380 I get it! 516 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:41,120 Do you? 'Cause we can keep going. 517 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,500 I get it. She gets it. 518 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,620 Oh. 519 00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:49,210 ♪♪ 520 00:17:49,210 --> 00:17:50,750 Cooper: Hey, guys. Come on in. 521 00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,620 Mi casa es su casa. 522 00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:54,080 Cooper, this is my house. 523 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,670 What's he doing here? 524 00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:57,120 Yeah, what are you doing here? 525 00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,040 He came over to apologize to Gina. 526 00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:08,750 Look, I understand why you don't like me very much. 527 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,750 I know I can be a... 528 00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:12,420 Um, what was that phrase again? 529 00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:14,710 The worst person on the planet. Right. 530 00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:17,250 Um, but I'm working on it. 531 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:20,120 You see this bag? 532 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,670 You shouldn't care that it's more expensive 533 00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:22,830 than anything you have ever owned 534 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,880 or will ever own. 535 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,580 That's not important anymore. 536 00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:28,210 Wow. 537 00:18:28,210 --> 00:18:30,080 You don't realize it, but that's growth. 538 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,580 I want us all to be able to hang out, 539 00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,380 so if that means I need to be less awesome, 540 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,790 then I'm willing to do that. 541 00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:41,000 Will you give me another shot? 542 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,540 I know it's hard to say "yes" 543 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,000 after he just paid himself a compliment in his apology, 544 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,250 but we're working on that. 545 00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:51,420 Okay. 546 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:53,080 I'll give you another shot. 547 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,460 Awesome. 548 00:18:58,880 --> 00:18:59,830 Dude. 549 00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:01,170 Dude. 550 00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:02,290 Dude? 551 00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:03,000 Dude! 552 00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:08,960 You say "dude" four times, and you're friends again. 553 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,540 Guys have it so easy. 554 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,040 Oliver and I are hanging out tonight. 555 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,120 You can come with us if you want. 556 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,250 Really? Cool. 557 00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:16,420 Um, what did you guys have planned? 558 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:18,540 I say we go bowling. 559 00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:19,880 We're never gonna find an open lane. 560 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,960 It's league night. 561 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,580 I can get us a lane. 562 00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:24,170 ♪♪ 563 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,170 -Yeah! -Wow! 564 00:19:26,170 --> 00:19:28,040 Having a bowling alley in your house 565 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,040 is the stupidest thing I've ever seen, 566 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,880 but those appetizers covered in shaved truffles 567 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,000 were delicious. 568 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,420 Yeah, it's no pig in your living room, 569 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,790 but I guess it's kind of cool. 570 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,830 What happens if someone approaches you on the street 571 00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:40,580 and asks for directions? 572 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,750 Have my bodyguard push them in the gutter? No. 573 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,620 You give them directions. 574 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,080 I have so much to learn. 575 00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:57,000 Great job, babe! 576 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:09,460 ♪♪ 577 00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:10,920 Taylor: 578 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,120 Franklin would love this. 579 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,380 My breakup with Franklin was really nasty. 580 00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:26,170 Lots of tears, lots of yelling. 581 00:20:26,170 --> 00:20:29,380 Franklin is a pretty passionate guy. 582 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:32,080 It's the quality I like most about him, 583 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,540 but it's also why we broke up. 584 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:35,790 Funny. 585 00:20:35,790 --> 00:20:38,420 I'm so sorry to hear that, Anna-Kat. 586 00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:39,460 Piece of advice -- 587 00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:41,250 don't make the same mistake I did. 588 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:44,080 Enjoy these moments. 589 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,670 Breakups are hard, Anna-Kat, 590 00:20:45,670 --> 00:20:48,420 but most relationships aren't meant to last. 591 00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:50,960 But don't worry -- the good ones do. 592 00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:57,460 ♪♪ 593 00:20:57,460 --> 00:20:58,790 Franklin, you came back! 594 00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:02,460 I forgot my jacket. 595 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,540 He can't stay away from me. 596 00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:10,380 ♪♪ 40967

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