Original subtitles

IN EVERY GENERATION THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE.

SHE ALONE WILL STAND AGAINST THE VAMPIRES,

THE DEMONS, AND THE FORCES OF DARKNESS.

SHE IS THE SLAYER.

THIS IS SO UNFAIR.

I DON'T THINK IT'S THAT BAD.

IT'S THE UBER-SUCK.

MOM COULD HAVE AT LEAST WARNED ME.

A LOT OF PARENTS ARE DOING IT THIS YEAR.

IT'S PART OF THIS WHOLE CULTURAL EXCHANGE MAGILLA:

THE EXHIBIT, THE DANCE.

I HAVE THE BEST COSTUME FOR THE DANCE.

A COMPLETE STRANGER IN MY HOUSE FOR 2 WEEKS.

I'M GONNA BE INSANE,

A DANGER TO MYSELF AND OTHERS WITHIN 3 DAYS, I SWEAR.

I THINK THE EXCHANGE STUDENT PROGRAM IS COOL.

I DO. IT'S THE BEAUTIFUL MELDING OF 2 CULTURES.

HAVE YOU EVER DONE AN EXCHANGE PROGRAM?

MY DAD TRIED TO SELL ME TO SOME ARMENIANS ONCE.

DOES THAT COUNT?

Guide: DINOSAURS ARE DISTINGUISHED BY AN ERECT POSTURE...

WHOO! THERE'S MINE.

SVEN--ISN'T HE LUNCHABLE?

MINE'S DEFINITELY THE BEST.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

PICTURES OF OUR EXCHANGE STUDENTS. LOOK.

100% SWEDISH, 100% GORGEOUS, 100% STAYING AT MY HOUSE.

SO, HOW'S YOURS? VISUALLY, I MEAN.

I DON'T KNOW. GUY-LIKE?

BY GUY-LIKE, WE ARE TALKING BIG BEEFY GUY-LIKE GIRL, RIGHT?

I WAS JUST TOLD "GUY."

YOU DIDN'T LOOK AT HIM FIRST?

HE COULD BE DOGLY.

YOU LIVE ON THE EDGE.

HOLD ON A SEC.

SO THIS PERSON WHO'S LIVING WITH YOU FOR 2 WEEKS IS A MAN

WITH MAN PARTS?

THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.

WHAT ABOUT THE BEAUTIFUL MELDING OF 2 CULTURES?

THERE'S NO MELDING, OK?

HE BETTER KEEP HIS PARTS TO HIMSELF.

WHAT'S HE DOING?

OH, THAT'S RODNEY MUNSON.

HE'S GOD'S GIFT TO THE BELL CURVE.

[GROWLS] WHAT HE LACKS IN SMARTS,

HE MAKES UP IN LACK OF SMARTS.

YOU JUST DON'T LIKE HIM 'CAUSE OF THAT TIME

HE BEAT YOU UP EVERY DAY FOR 5 YEARS.

YEAH. I'M IRRATIONAL THAT WAY.

I BETTER STOP HIM BEFORE HE GETS IN TROUBLE.

I GOT IT.

THE NONVIOLENT APPROACH IS PROBABLY BETTER HERE.

I WASN'T GOING TO USE VIOLENCE.

I DON'T ALWAYS USE VIOLENCE.

DO I?

THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU BELIEVE THAT.

HI, RODNEY.

WHAT DO YOU--OH.

WILLOW, HI.

THAT'S PROBABLY NOT SOMETHING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.

YOU COULD GET IN TROUBLE.

OH, NO...

AND THEY MIGHT KICK ME OUT OF SCHOOL?

ARE WE STILL ON FOR OUR CHEM TUTORIAL TOMORROW?

YEAH. I THINK I'VE GOT ALMOST ALL 14 NATURAL ELEMENTS MEMORIZED.

THERE ARE 103.

WELCOME, STUDENTS.

WE SHALL NOW PROCEED INTO THE INCAN BURIAL CHAMBER.

THE HUMAN SACRIFICE IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.

Xander: TYPICAL MUSEUM TRICK:

PROMISE HUMAN SACRIFICE, DELIVER OLD POTS AND PANS.

Guide: 500 YEARS AGO, THE INCAN PEOPLE CHOSE A BEAUTIFUL TEENAGE GIRL

TO BECOME THEIR PRINCESS.

I HOPE THIS STORY ENDS WITH "AND SHE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER."

NO. I THINK IT ENDS WITH "AND SHE BECAME A SCARY, DISCOLORED SHRIVELED MUMMY."

Guide: THE INCAN PEOPLE SACRIFICED THEIR PRINCESS

TO THE MOUNTAIN GOD SEBANCAYA,

AN OFFERING BURIED ALIVE FOR ETERNITY IN THIS DARK TOMB.

THEY COULD HAVE AT LEAST WRAPPED HER IN THOSE NICE WHITE BANDAGES,

LIKE IN THE MOVIES?

Guide: THE PRINCESS REMAINED THERE,

PROTECTED ONLY BY A CURSED SEAL,

PLACED THERE AS A WARNING TO ANY WHO WOULD WAKE HER.

HA HA HA! EW!

SO, BUFFY, WHEN'S EXCHANGE-O BOY MAKING HIS APPEARANCE?

HIS NAME'S AMPATA.

I'M MEETING HIM AT THE BUS STATION TOMORROW NIGHT.

OOH, SUNNYDALE BUS DEPOT. CLASSY.

WHAT A BETTER WAY TO INTRODUCE SOMEONE TO OUR COUNTRY

THAN WITH A STENCH OF URINE.

NOW, IF YOU'LL FOLLOW ME THIS WAY, PLEASE?

COOL.

DAMN!

[HOWLS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

SO CAN I GO?

Giles: I THINK NOT.

HOW COME?

BECAUSE YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE.

JUST THIS ONCE, I'D LIKE TO BE THE OVERLOOKED ONE.

WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT IS NOT...

HYAH! POSSIBLE!

YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES

THAT OTHER GIRLS DO NOT.

OH! I KNOW THIS ONE:

"SLAYING ENTAILS CERTAIN SACRIFICES--

BLAH BLAH BITTY BLAH--

I'M SO STUFFY. GIVE ME A SCONE."

IT'S AS IF YOU KNOW ME.

YOUR SECRET IDENTITY IS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO MAINTAIN

WHILE THIS EXCHANGE STUDENT IS LIVING WITH YOU.

NOT...

WITH HER.

IN THE SAME HOUSE AS HER.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S OBJECTIVE ENOUGH TO MAKE THAT DISTINCTION?

SO, THEN GOING TO THE DANCE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

WOULD BE THE BEST WAY TO KEEP THAT SECRET.

GILES, COME ON, BUDGE.

NO ONE LIKES A NON-BUDGER.

FINE!

GO.

YAY. I WIN.

I'LL JUST GO AND INTRODUCE MY SHOULDER TO AN ICE PACK.

SO I GUESS WE'RE DANCE-BOUND. COOL.

I THINK I CAN GET MY MOM'S CAR,

SO I'M THE WHEEL MAN.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING WILLOW.

WELL, YEAH, I'M GONNA TAKE WILLOW,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA TAKE WILLOW IN THE SENSE OF "TAKE ME."

SEE, WITH YOU, WE'RE 3, AND EVERYBODY'S SAFE.

WITHOUT YOU, WE'RE 2.

AHH...AND WE ENTER DATEVILLE: ROMANCE, FLOWERS.

LIPS.

OH, COME ON.

IN ALL THE YEARS YOU'VE KNOWN WILLOW,

YOU'VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HER LIPS?

BUFFY, I LOVE WILLOW...

AND SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND,

WHICH MAKES HER NOT THE KIND OF GIRL

WHO I THINK ABOUT HER LIPS THAT MUCH.

SHE'S THE KIND OF GIRL THAT I'M BEST FRIENDS WITH.

HEY, GUYS.

WILLOW! HI!

WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT HAPPY THINGS,

LIKE THE 3 OF US GOING TO THE DANCE TOGETHER.

SEE? HEH HEH HEH. HAPPY.

NOT HAPPY.

NO. OH, UH, YES.

NO. RODNEY'S MISSING.

TROUBLE WITH MR. MUNSON AGAIN?

HIS PARENTS SAY HE NEVER CAME HOME LAST NIGHT.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I REMEMBER SEEING RODNEY

ON THE BUS BACK FROM THE FIELD TRIP.

I DIDN'T EITHER. I HOPE HE DIDN'T

GET IN TROUBLE AT THE MUSEUM.

HEY, MAYBE HE AWAKENED THE MUMMY.

RIGHT. AND IT ROSE FROM ITS TOMB.

AND ATTACKED HIM.

Willow: ON THE OTHER HAND, MAYBE RODNEY JUST STEPPED OUT FOR A SMOKE.

FOR 21 HOURS?

IT'S ADDICTIVE, YOU KNOW.

WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT WHEN WE'VE RULED OUT EVIL CURSES.

SOMEDAY, I'M GONNA LIVE IN A TOWN WHERE EVIL CURSES

ARE JUST GENERALLY RULED OUT WITHOUT EVEN SAYING.

WHERE WAS THIS SEAL?

IT WAS RIGHT HERE,

AND IT'S BROKEN.

DOES THAT MEAN THE MUMMY'S LOOSE?

NO. COMFY AS EVER.

LOOK AT THIS SERIES OF PICTOGRAMS.

[SCREAMS] LOOK OUT!

AAH!

HUH!

OK, I JUST SAVED US, RIGHT?

SOMETHING DID.

WELL, WE'LL FRET ABOUT THE DETAILS LATER.

LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE COMES BACK.

GILES?

WERE THE INCAS VERY ADVANCED?

YES. YES, VERY.

DID THEY HAVE ORTHODONTISTS?

RODNEY LOOKED LIKE HE HAD BEEN DEAD FOR 500 YEARS.

HOW COULD THAT BE?

MAYBE WE SHOULD ASK THAT CRAZY MAN

WITH THE BIG OLD KNIFE.

I DON'T THINK HE SEEMED OVERLY CHATTY.

THE WAY HE BOLTED WHEN HE SAW RODNEY,

I'D SAY HE WAS AS FREAKED AS WE WERE.

MY RESOURCES ON THE SUBJECT ARE EXTREMELY LIMITED.

I GATHER THAT THIS PARTICULAR MUMMY

WAS FROM THE SEBANCAYA REGION OF EASTERN PERU.

IT'S VERY REMOTE.

IF THERE'S AN ANSWER, THEN IT'S LOCKED IN THE...

IN THE SEAL.

IT COULD TAKE ME WEEKS

TO TRANSLATE THESE PICTOGRAMS.

WELL, WE'LL START TONIGHT WITH--

AMPATA!

I WAS GOING TO SUGGEST HUNTING.

NO. I'M LATE. I TOLD HIM I'D PICK HIM UP.

Xander: BUFFY, WHERE ARE YOU PRIORITIES,

TRACKING DOWN A MUMMIFYING KILLER OR MAKING TIME FOR SOME LATIN LOVER

WHOSE STOCK IN TRADE IS THE BREAKAGE OF HEARTS?

AMPATA'S THERE ALONE,

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD HIS ENGLISH IS.

HE'S FROM SOUTH A-- SOUTH AMERICA.

HEY, YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE COULD TRANSLATE THE SEAL.

OH, YEAH.

FALL FOR THE OLD LET-ME- TRANSLATE-THAT-ANCIENT- SEAL-FOR-YOU COME ON.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE USED THAT?

(Woman's whisper): AMPATA.

(Woman whispering): AMPATA.

HELLO?

[GASPS]

Buffy: 40 MINUTES LATE.

Willow: WELCOME TO AMERICA.

WHAT IF HE LEFT ALREADY?

AMPATA?

AMPATA GUTIERREZ?

SO DO WE HAVE TO SPEAK SPANISH WHEN WE SEE HIM?

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING MUCH BESIDES DORITOS AND CHIHUAHUA.

AMPATA?

HERE.

HELLO.

I AM AMPATA.

HAY CARUMBA.

I CAN ALSO SAY THAT.

DINING ROOM,

AND THIS...

IS THE KITCHEN.

IT IS VERY GOOD.

YEAH. YOU'VE GOT YOUR STOVE, YOUR FRIDGE.

IT'S FULLY FUNCTIONAL.

WE'RE VERY INTO IT.

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?

AHH...LET'S SEE. WE'VE GOT MILK...

AND, UH...HUH... OLDER MILK. JUICE?

PLEASE.

SO, AMPATA...

YOU'RE A GIRL.

YES. FOR MANY YEARS NOW.

AND NOT A BOY 'CAUSE WE THOUGHT A BOY WAS COMING,

AND HERE YOU ARE IN A GIRL WAY.

IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE CRAZY MIX-UPS, WILL.

SO HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO AMERICA BEFORE?

UH...I--I HAVE TOURED.

WHERE DID...YOU GO?

I WAS TAKEN TO ATLANTA, BOSTON, NEW YORK.

NEW YORK.

THAT'S EXCITING. WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?

I DID NOT SEE SO MUCH.

YOUR ENGLISH IS VERY BUENO.

I LISTENED MUCH.

WELL, THAT WORKS OUT WELL BECAUSE I TALK MUCH.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

Buffy: HEY.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THE TEENINESS OF THE ROOM.

MY OLD ONE WAS MUCH SMALLER.

WHAT'S IT LIKE BACK HOME?

CRAMPED AND VERY DEAD.

WELL, YOU'LL FEEL RIGHT AT HOME IN SUNNYDALE.

OH, NO!

OH...

BUT--BUT YOU HAVE SO MUCH HERE.

HOW ABOUT FRIENDS?

THEY ARE...

IT IS JUST ME.

I'VE BEEN THERE...

BUT, HEY, YOU'LL MEET LOTS OF PEOPLE TOMORROW.

THANK YOU.

YOU MUST TEACH ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

I WANT TO FIT IN, BUFFY, JUST LIKE YOU...

A NORMAL LIFE.

ONE NORMAL LIFE...

COMIN' UP.

DEVON, I TOLD YOU I'D BE AT THE DANCE TONIGHT,

BUT I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR LITTLE GROUPIES.

I WON'T BE ALL DOE-EYED, LOOKING UP AT YOU,

STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE STAGE.

GOT IT.

SO I'LL SEE YOU AFTERWARDS?

SURE. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET?

I'LL BE STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE STAGE.

WITH THAT GUY?

SVEN...

MOMENTO! NEEDA!

THIS WHOLE STUDENT EXCHANGE THING

HAS BEEN A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE.

THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK AMERICAN.

SO I'LL SEE YOU LATER?

BYE.

SVEN! COME!

OZ, MAN, WHAT DO YA THINK?

OF WHAT?

CORDELIA, MAN.

SHE'S A WONDERLAND TOUR.

YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT THE GIRL IS HOT.

THAT IS A HOT GIRL.

LET ME GUESS. NOT YOUR TYPE?

WHAT DOES A GIRL HAVE TO DO TO IMPRESS YOU?

WELL, IT INVOLVES A FEATHER BOA

AND THE THEME TO A SUMMER PLACE.

I CAN'T DISCUSS IT HERE.

YOU'RE TOO PICKY, MAN.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GIRLS YOU COULD HAVE?

YOU'RE LEAD GUITAR, OZ.

IT'S CURRENCY.

I'M NOT PICKY.

YOU'RE JUST IMPRESSED BY ANY PRETTY GIRL THAT CAN WALK AND TALK.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO TALK.

I WORKED REALLY HARD ON MY COSTUME.

IT'S PRETTY COOL.

OK, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?

I'VE GOTTA THINK.

WELL, IT'S A CELEBRATION OF CULTURES.

THERE ARE LOTS OF DRESS-UP ALTERNATIVES.

AND A CORRESPONDING EQUAL NUMBER OF MOCKING ALTERNATIVES

ALL AIMED AT ME.

BAVARIANS ARE COOL.

OK. NO SHIRTS WITH RUFFLES,

NO HATS WITH FEATHERS, AND, DEFINITELY, NO LEDERHOSEN.

THEY MAKE MY CALVES LOOK FAT.

WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY SO WORRIED

ABOUT LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT?

THAT CAME OUT WRONG.

YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

NERVOUS?

IT IS JUST MORE PEOPLE THAN I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME.

AH, DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL HAVE NO PROBLEMS MAKING FRIENDS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I KNOW SOMEONE WHO'S DYING TO MEET YOU.

HOW DO YOU DO?

HI.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD, UM...

TRANSLATE THIS.

THAT WAS IN NO WAY AWKWARD.

Buffy: SOMETHING WRONG?

UH, N-NO.

IT IS--

WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?

WELL, UH, IT'S-- WELL, IT'S AN ARTIFACT FROM YOUR REGION.

IT'S FROM THE TOMB OF AN INCAN MUMMY, ACTUALLY.

WE'RE TRYING TO TRANSLATE IT

AS A PROJECT FOR OUR, UM...

OUR ARCHAEOLOGY CLUB.

VERY GOOD.

IT IS BROKEN. WHERE ARE THE OTHER PIECES?

THAT'S ALL WE FOUND.

IT IS VERY OLD...

AND VALUABLE.

YOU SHOULD HIDE IT.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU RECOGNIZE HERE?

UM, THIS, UM...

THIS CHAPPY WITH THE KNIFE, FOR INSTANCE.

MMM...

WELL, I DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY,

BUT I THINK THIS REPRESENTS--

I BELIEVE THE WORD IS..."BODYGUARD"?

BODYGUARD.

INTERESTING.

LEGEND HAS IT THAT HE GUARDS THE MUMMY

AGAINST THOSE WHO WOULD DISTURB HER.

WELL, YES, UM, WELL, THAT'S A VERY GOOD STARTING POINT

FOR OUR, UM...CLUB.

UM...

OH! AND, UH...

AS CLUB PRESIDENT, I HAVE LOTS TO DO, LOTS OF STUFF,

DULL STUFF.

WILLOW, MAYBE YOU COULD--

STAY WITH AMPATA FOR THE DAY.

I'D LOVE TO.

YES.

THAT WILL BE FUN.

WHEW.

Giles: RIGHT. I'LL CONTINUE WITH THE TRANSLATION.

BUFFY, YOU RESEARCH THIS BODYGUARD THING,

AND, UH, WILLOW...WILLOW?

BOY, THEY REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER.

AND THIS...

IS CALLED A SNACK FOOD.

SNACK FOOD?

YEAH. IT'S A DELICIOUS, SPONGY GOLDEN CAKE

STUFFED WITH A DELIGHTFUL CREAMY WHITE SUBSTANCE OF GOODNESS,

AND HERE'S HOW YOU EAT IT.

[LAUGHS] MM-HMM.

OH, BUT NOW I CANNOT TRY IT.

THAT'S WHY YOU BRING 2.

OH...

HERE GOES.

GOOD, HUH?

AND THE EXCITING PART IS THAT THEY HAVE NO INGREDIENTS THAT A HUMAN CAN PRONOUNCE,

SO IT DOESN'T LEAVE YOU WITH THAT HEAVY FOOD FEELING IN YOUR STOMACH.

YOU ARE STRANGE.

GIRLS ALWAYS TELL ME THAT RIGHT BEFORE THEY RUN AWAY.

I LIKE IT.

I LIKE YOU LIKE IT.

PLEASE, DON'T LEARN FROM MY ENGLISH.

HA!

OR...POSSIBLE HA.

DO YOU THINK THIS MATCHES?

HEY.

OH...

YES...

I'M CARING ABOUT MUMMIES.

AMPATA'S ONLY STAYING 2 WEEKS.

YEAH, AND THEN XANDER CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S NOT ME

TO OBSESS ABOUT.

AT LEAST WITH YOU, I KNEW HE DIDN'T HAVE A SHOT.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I HAVE A CHOICE.

I CAN SPEND MY LIFE WAITING FOR XANDER

TO GO OUT WITH EVERY OTHER GIRL IN THE WORLD

UNTIL HE NOTICES ME,

OR I CAN JUST GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

GOOD FOR YOU.

WELL, I DIDN'T CHOOSE YET.

GOOD LORD.

GOOD WORK.

MY WORK?

YES.

THIS IS MOST ILLUMINATING.

IT SEEMS RODNEY'S KILLER MIGHT BE THE MUMMY.

WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT?

HERE. IT IMPLIES THAT THE MUMMY

IS CAPABLE OF FEEDING ON THE LIFE FORCE OF A PERSON,

EFFECTIVELY FREEZE-DRYING THEM, YOU MIGHT SAY.

EXTRAORDINARY.

SO THEN WE JUST HAVE TO STOP THE MUMMY,

WHICH LEADS TO THE QUESTION:

HOW DO WE A: FIND AND B: STOP THE MUMMY?

WELL, THE ANSWER TO THAT IS SOMEWHERE STILL IN HERE...

OR IN THE REST OF THE SEAL.

YOU STOLE THE SEAL!

WHERE IS IT?!

AAH!

IT IS YOU.

HERE YOU ARE.

THANK YOU.

WHY IS THIS GUY SO INTO US?

I MEAN, WHAT'S HE WANT?

HE SAID, "GIVE ME THE SEAL."

APPARENTLY, THIS IS MORE POPULAR THAN WE REALIZED.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO WITH IT.

DESTROY IT.

IF YOU DO NOT, SOMEONE COULD DIE.

I'M AFRAID SOMEONE ALREADY HAS.

YOU MEAN THE MAN WITH THE KNIFE KILLED SOMEONE?

UH, NO!

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

YOU ARE NOT TELLING ME EVERYTHING.

YOU'RE RIGHT, AMPATA,

AND IT'S TIME WE DO.

WE'RE NOT AN ARCHEOLOGY CLUB.

WE'RE IN A--

AHEM!

WE'RE IN THE CRIME CLUB,

WHICH IS KIND OF LIKE THE CHESS CLUB, ONLY WITH CRIME

AND, UM...NO CHESS.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME.

THAT SEAL NEARLY GOT US KILLED.

IT MUST BE DESTROYED.

AMPATA!

AMPATA, LISTEN TO ME.

NOBODY'S GONNA HURT YOU. I WON'T LET THEM.

YOUR INVESTIGATION IS DANGEROUS.

I DO NOT WANT THAT, JUST NORMAL LIFE.

IS SHE OK?

WIGGED. I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE HER

THAT OUR LIVES AREN'T JUST DANGER AND PERIL AROUND HERE.

YOU SHOULD TAKE HER TO THE DANCE.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. WE'LL ALL GO.

NO. I MEAN...JUST YOU.

BUT YOU WERE PSYCHED. AND YOUR COSTUME.

I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, WILLOW?

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

I KNOW.

Buffy: I DON'T GET IT.

WHY WOULD THE BODYGUARD HAVE SUCH A JONES FOR A BROKEN PIECE OF ROCK?

WELL, UM...

PERHAPS IF HE NEEDS TO PUT IT TOGETHER WITH THE OTHER PIECES.

IF HE HAS THEM.

I MEAN, WE DIDN'T FIND THEM.

AND IF HE DIDN'T, THEN THEY'D STILL BE AT THE MUSEUM.

SO MAYBE WE SHOULD GO THERE AND FIND THEM,

AND ODDS ARE, HE'LL SHOW UP, TOO, RIGHT?

AND, HOPEFULLY, WE'LL BE READY.

HEY, LOOK AT US.

WE CAME UP WITH A PLAN, A GOOD PLAN.

RIGHT. WE'LL MEET THERE TONIGHT AFTER IT CLOSES.

NO. BAD PLAN.

I HAVE OTHER PLANS, DANCE PLANS.

CANCELED PLANS.

OK, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU,

AND IT'S KIND OF A SECRET, AND IT'S A LITTLE BIT SCARY.

I LIKE YOU...

A LOT...

AND I WANT YOU TO GO WITH ME TO THE DANCE.

WHY WAS THAT SO SCARY?

WELL, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF A GIRL'S GOING TO SAY YES

OR IF SHE'S GOING TO LAUGH IN YOUR FACE

AND PULL OUT YOUR STILL-BEATING HEART

AND CRUSH IT INTO THE GROUND WITH HER HEEL.

HMM.

THEN YOU ARE VERY COURAGEOUS.

CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET? HM?

I LIKE YOU, TOO.

REALLY?

REALLY.

THAT'S GREAT.

REALLY?

REALLY.

THAT'S GREAT!

YOU'RE NOT A PRAYING MANTIS, ARE YOU?

SORRY. SOMEONE ELSE.

I WILL RETURN TO YOU.

WHERE'RE YOU GOING?

WHERE YOU CANNOT FOLLOW.

I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE.

I BEG YOU.

DO NOT KILL ME.

YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD...

FOR 500 YEARS.

BUT IT WAS NOT FAIR.

I WAS INNOCENT.

THE PEOPLE YOU KILL NOW SO THAT YOU MAY LIVE...

THEY ARE INNOCENT.

PLEASE.

I AM IN LOVE.

YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE.

YOU MUST DIE.

YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

YES...

I DO.

I HAVE THOUGHT.

THE DANCE?

I WILL GO WITH YOU...

GLADLY.

BUFFY, I DO NOT HAVE ANY LIPSTICK.

OH, YOU CAN BORROW ONE OF MINE.

THERE SHOULD BE SOME ON THE DESK.

WHAT IS THAT?

THE STATION SENT THE REST OF YOUR STUFF.

OH. OF COURSE.

I FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT.

I WILL UNPACK IT LATER.

NO WORRIES. I CAN DO IT.

BUT YOU MUST GET READY FOR THE DANCE.

I'M NOT GOING.

WHY NOT?

I HAVE WORK TO DO,

CRIME CLUB WORK.

IT'S REALLY NOTHING FOR YOU TO WORRY ABOUT.

OH, I AM NOT WORRIED, THANKS TO XANDER.

HE SEEMS VERY HAPPY AROUND YOU.

I AM HAPPY, TOO.

MMM...

THIS ONE?

OH, NO. THAT CLASHES.

THERE SHOULD BE A GOLD ONE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE ALWAYS THINKING OF OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF.

YOU REMIND ME OF SOMEONE FROM VERY LONG AGO, THE INCA PRINCESS.

COOL. A PRINCESS.

THEY TOLD HER THAT SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE,

THAT ONLY SHE COULD DEFEND HER PEOPLE FROM THE NETHERWORLD.

OUT OF ALL THE GIRLS IN HER GENERATION,

SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS--

CHOSEN.

YOU KNOW THE STORY?

IT'S FAIRLY FAMILIAR.

SHE WAS 16, LIKE US.

SHE WAS OFFERED AS A SACRIFICE AND WENT TO HER DEATH.

WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE HAD TO GIVE UP

TO FULFILL HER DUTY TO OTHERS.

WHAT CHANCE AT LOVE?

WHO KNOWS?

I'LL JUST UNPACK THE REST OF YOUR STUFF FOR YOU.

NO, REALLY, LET ME. [DOORBELL RINGS]

OH!

THAT'S XANDER AND WILLOW.

I'LL GET IT.

[SIGHS]

I'VE COME FOR THE DANCE.

AND, UH, WHAT CULTURE ARE YOU?

I'M FROM THE COUNTRY OF LEONE.

IT'S IN ITALY, PRETENDING TO BE MONTANA.

AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM, THE COUNTRY OF WHITE TRASH?

MMM. NEW LINEUP. YOU AND WILLOW ARE TAKING AMPATA.

GILES AND I ARE HUNTING MUMMIES.

WHERE'S YOU AND WILLOW?

SHE'S NOT COMING... WITH US.

OH.

ON A DATE.

ROMANCE.

LIPS.

HELLO, XANDER.

OH, YE-- I, UH...

I CAN TRANSLATE AMERICAN SALIVATING BOY TALK.

HE SAYS YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

[STAMMERING]

YOU'RE WELCOME.

AMPATA, DON'T YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

OH! I WISH YOU COULD TALK MY DAUGHTER INTO GOING WITH YOU.

I TRIED,

BUT SHE IS VERY STUBBORN.

WELL, I'M GLAD SOMEONE ELSE SEES THAT.

WELL...

GOOD NIGHT, THEN.

[WHISPERING] BE CAREFUL.

I WILL.

HEY.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

LOOK AT THAT.

2 DAYS IN AMERICA, AND AMPATA ALREADY

SEEMS LIKE SHE BELONGS HERE.

SHE'S REALLY FITTING IN.

[CHUCKLES]

YEAH.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

[PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]

♪ SHE'S IN ECSTASY ♪

♪ HER HOLLOW SCARS ♪

♪ FALLS DOWN HEAVENLY ♪

♪ FATE'S DESIRE ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN LEAVING HERE ♪

♪ IN THE RAIN... ♪

OOH! NEAR FAUX PAS!

I ALMOST WORE THE SAME THING.

HEY, YOU.

HEY. WHERE'S SVEN?

UHH! I KEEP TRYING TO DITCH HIM.

HE'S LIKE ONE OF THOSE DOGS

THAT YOU LEAVE AT THE GRAND CANYON ON VACATION--

IT FOLLOWS YOU BACK ACROSS 4 STATES.

[CHUCKLES]

SEE? MY OWN SPEECHLESS, HUMAN BOOMERANG.

Gwen: HE'S KINDA CUTE.

MAYBE IT'S NICE, SKIPPING ALL THAT SMALL TALK.

SMALL TALK.

HOW ABOUT SIMPLE INSTRUCTION?

GET PUNCHY.

YOU...

FRUIT DRINKY.

HE CAN FOLLOW ME.

[SIGHS]

MAYBE I SHOULD'VE WORN SOMETHING SEXY.

WOW. YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT.

I--I LOVE YOUR COSTUME. IT'S-- IT'S VERY AUTHENTIC.

THANKS.

YEAH, YOU LOOK, UM...

SNUG.

THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.

WHERE'S BUFFY?

THANK HEAVENS YOU'RE HOME.

YEP. NOT AT THE DANCE.

NOT WITH MY FRIENDS. NOT WITH A LIFE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA MEET AT THE MUSEUM TO FIND THE BODYGUARD.

NO. HE'S ALREADY BEEN FOUND.

IN A SCHOOL REST ROOM... MUMMIFIED.

OK, I DON'T GET IT. WHY WOULD THE MUMMY KILL HER OWN BODYGUARD?

WELL, I'VE CROSS-REFERENCED, AND, UH...

I'VE LOOKED AT THE PICTOGRAMS ANEW.

HE WAS A GUARD, ALL RIGHT, BUT IT WAS HIS JOB

TO INSURE THAT THE MUMMY DIDN'T AWAKEN AND ESCAPE.

SO AMPATA TRANSLATED WRONG.

PERHAPS.

HOLD ON A SEC.

SHE WAS WIGGY ABOUT THE SEAL FROM MINUTE ONE.

YES, I SUPPOSE SHE WAS.

HER TRUNKS.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

THESE ARE DEFINITELY ALL BOYS' CLOTHES.

WHY WOULD A GIRL PACK THESE?

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

WHAT KIND OF GIRL TRAVELS WITH A MUMMIFIED CORPSE...

AND DOESN'T EVEN PACK A LIPSTICK?

♪ TIME'S HEALING ♪

♪ I'LL HEAL ♪

♪ FIND THE REASONS AGAIN ♪

♪ TAKE A MOMENT ♪

♪ I AM TRYING ♪

♪ I UNDERSTAND IT ♪

♪ I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU... ♪

DO YOU, UM...

WOULD YOU LIKE TO, UH...

YOU KNOW.

I'D LOVE TO DANCE.

[SINGING CONTINUES]

[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

HEY.

THAT GIRL. WHO IS SHE?

SHE'S AN EXCHANGE STUDENT. I THINK SHE'S FROM SOUTH AMERICA.

NO, NOT HER.

THE ESKIMO.

COME ON. CAN'T YOU PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN?

IT IS DOWN.

ONE OF THESE DAYS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET A GROWN-UP CAR.

OK. AT LEAST I CAN RULE OUT SOMETHING I SAID.

I SHOULD'VE GUESSED. REMEMBER AMPATA WANTED US TO HIDE THE SEAL?

AND THEN SHE WANTED US TO DESTROY IT BECAUSE--

OH, WAIT.

UH, WAITING.

WELL, WE ALREADY KNOW THAT THE SEAL WAS USED TO CONTAIN THE MUMMY.

IF BREAKING IT FREED HER...

REASSEMBLING IT WILL TRAP HER.

I'LL GO TO THAT MUSEUM. I'LL DROP YOU OFF.

I'LL TRY AND PIECE TOGETHER THE FRAGMENTS THERE.

OK. I'LL STILL GET XANDER...

BEFORE HE GETS SMOOCHY WITH MUMMY DEAREST.

HAVE YOU SEEN AMPATA?

WHAT WAS THAT?

I SHRUGGED.

NEXT TIME, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SAY "SHRUG."

SIGH.

I THOUGHT THIS EXCHANGE-STUDENT THING WOULD BE A GREAT DEAL.

BUT LOOK WHAT I GOT STUCK WITH--

"MOMENTO." "PUNCHY FRUITY DRINKY."

IS CORDELIA EVEN FROM THIS COUNTRY?

YOUR...

HANDS FEEL KINDA...

ROUGH.

[EXHALES]

AREN'T YOU WITH XANDER?

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M WITH XANDER?

Xander: AMPATA!

THAT'S... MY CUE TO LEAVE.

[BREATHING NERVOUSLY]

THERE YOU ARE.

WHY'D YOU RUN AWAY?

BECAUSE...

I DO NOT DESERVE YOU.

[CHUCKLES]

WH...YOU THINK THAT YOU DON'T DESERVE ME?

HA HA HA HA HA!

MAN, I LOVE YOU!

ARE THOSE TEARS OF JOY?

PAIN?

REVULSION?

I AM VERY HAPPY.

AND VERY SAD.

THEN TALK TO ME. LET ME KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.

I CAN'T.

HEY, I KNOW WHY YOU CAN'T TELL ME.

IT'S A SECRET, RIGHT?

AND IF YOU TOLD ME, YOU'D HAVE TO KILL ME.

OHHH!

[SOBS]

OH...THAT WAS A... BAD JOKE.

THE DELIVERY WAS OFF, TOO. I'M SORRY.

I, UM...

I'M SORRY.

[GASPS]

NO, I CAN'T.

[BREATHING HALTINGLY]

[GASPING]

XANDER, I'M SO SORRY.

[STRUGGLING FOR BREATH]

"INCAN COSMOLOGY UNITES THE BIRD HEAD WITH ITS PALER TWIN."

UM...

OH. HERE.

ITS PALER TWIN.

THE SEAL.

OHH...

WHERE'S XANDER?

HE'S LOOKING FOR AMPATA.

WE NEED TO FIND HIM. AMPATA'S THE MUMMY.

OH.

GOOD.

XANDER!

WHERE'D THEY GO?

BACKSTAGE, I THINK.

HEY, I--

WHO IS THAT GIRL?

ARE YOU OK?

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

I THINK SO.

BOY, THAT WAS SOME KISS.

WHERE'S AMPATA?

SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THE SEAL.

THE SEAL! GILES! COME ON.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

HE DOESN'T KNOW.

WE'LL TELL HIM ON THE WAY.

[SEAL PIECES SCRAPING]

THERE. THAT'S IT.

JUST ONE MORE PIECE.

THE CURSE--

WHA--

[CHOKING]

I'LL SAY ONE THING FOR YOU INCAN MUMMIES--

YOU DON'T KISS AND TELL.

UHH!

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME.

YOU'RE NOT A NORMAL GIRL.

AND YOU ARE?

UHH! UHH!

UHH! UNH!

UHH!

[CHOKING]

THIS WON'T HURT.

Xander: LET HER GO!

[COUGHS]

IF YOU'RE GONNA KISS ANYBODY, IT SHOULD BE ME.

XANDER, WE CAN BE TOGETHER.

JUST...JUST LET ME HAVE THIS ONE.

THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

I MUST DO IT.

I MUST DO IT NOW, OR IT IS THE END FOR ME AND FOR US.

NO!

YOU WANT LIFE? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE MINE.

CAN YOU DO THAT?

YES.

[THUMPING]

UHH!

[GASPS]

I'M REALLY THE FUN-TALKING GUY TODAY, HUH?

SORRY.

THAT'S OK. WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK.

I JUST-- PRESENT COMPANY EXCLUDED--

I HAVE THE WORST TASTE IN WOMEN...

OF ANYONE IN THE WORLD.

EVER.

AMPATA WASN'T EVIL. AT LEAST, NOT TO BEGIN WITH.

AND...I DO THINK SHE CARED ABOUT YOU.

YEAH, BUT I THINK THAT WHOLE SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF PEOPLE THING

WOULD'VE BEEN A STRAIN ON THE RELATIONSHIP.

SHE WAS GYPPED. SHE WAS JUST A GIRL,

AND SHE HAD HER LIFE TAKEN AWAY FROM HER.

I REMEMBER HOW I FELT

WHEN I HEARD THE PROPHECY THAT I WAS GONNA DIE.

I WASN'T EXACTLY OBSESSED WITH DOING THE RIGHT THING.

YEAH, BUT YOU DID.

YOU GAVE UP YOUR LIFE.

I HAD YOU TO BRING ME BACK.

GRR! ARGH!