Original subtitles

[piano music]

- IT WAS 1977,

AND IT WAS JUST ME AND GORDON IN THIS TEENY-TINY GARAGE

IN CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA.

- NOBODY KNEW WHAT WE WERE ONTO BACK THERE,

WE WERE JUST KIDS IN A GARAGE.

- WE WERE DEVELOPING

THE MAGNETIC DEVICE USED TO STORE DATA.

- MEANWHILE, DOWN THE STREET,

THE THREE OF US ARE WORKING IN A CARPORT,

AND WE ARE THIS CLOSE

TO A WORKABLE DIGITAL INTERFACE.

- YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND, WE'RE IN A CARPORT.

SO NO WALLS.

[pop rock music]

- ONE FATEFUL SUMMER,

SEVEN PIONEERS CREATED THE PERSONAL COMPUTER.

TODAY WE'LL TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THE BIRTH OF A REVOLUTION.

♪ ♪

- I'D HEARD ABOUT THEM, I'D READ ABOUT THEM IN THIS HOBBY MAG

THAT WE ALL SUBSCRIBED TO.

BILLY AND GORDON WERE LIGHT YEARS AHEAD OF EVERYONE.

- YOU MEAN WITH COMPUTERS?

- NO, WITH THE GARAGE.

LOOK, TENNIS BALLS

HANGING FROM STRINGS, SO YOU KNOW HOW FAR YOU CAN

PULL THE CAR IN WITHOUT HITTING THE WALL. [chuckles]

- IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

I HAD THE IDEA FOR THE STRINGS,

AND GORDON CAME UP WITH THE TENNIS BALLS.

WE WERE THE COMPUTER GARAGE GANG.

- THE COMPUTER GARAGE GANG. - THE COMPUTER GARAGE GANG.

- WE FINALLY MEET THESE OTHER GUYS,

AND INSTEAD OF SEEING THEM AS COMPETITION,

I'M THINKING, WELL, THEY SEEM TO HAVE THE SOFTWARE FIGURED OUT.

GORDON AND I HAVE THE HARDWARE READY TO GO.

WHY DON'T WE ALL JOIN FORCES?

AND PITCH IN ON SOME WEATHER STRIPPING?

- THE COMPUTER GARAGE GANG FOUND ITS TRUE HOME.

NOW THEY COULD FOCUS ON WHAT MATTERED.

- SLEEKER DESIGN, MORE STORAGE SPACE,

MORE USER-FRIENDLY.

THAT'S WHAT WE WANT IN A GARAGE.

- I'D HEARD OF A ONE-CAR GARAGE, BUT A TWO-CAR GARAGE?

- TRACK LIGHTING? HEY, THAT HELPS.

- THE MINI FRIDGE, A DART BOARD.

- RECORDS...

- EIGHT-TRACK PLAYER, CARPETING...

- OH, YEAH, THERE WAS SOME COMPUTER STUFF, YEAH.

- A BANISTER. - A LAVA LAMP. [laughs]

- THERE WAS A POSTER-- THERE WAS TWO POSTERS.

- WE HAD A COFFEE CAN FOR CHANGE.

WE HAD PLATES TO KEEP OUR SANDWICHES ON.

- A GIRL CAME IN ONCE.

- WE ATE, SLEPT, PLAYED, AND WORKED, ALL IN OUR GARAGE.

YOU COULD GO UP TO THE LOFT IF YOU WANTED. WE HAD A LOFT.

- YOU COULD PUT ANYTHING IN THE RAFTERS YOU WANT,

PLENTY OF STORAGE SPACE.

- ONE OF OUR BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGHS IS SOMETHING

THAT PEOPLE NOW USE IN THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES.

THE KEYBOARD.

- WE HAD A WHOLE AREA DEVOTED TO JUST STORING CHAIRS.

- THE COMPUTER? YEAH, WE FINISHED THAT.

THAT WAS NO PROBLEM. WE'RE COMPUTER GENIUSES.

THE--THE TENNIS BALLS, THOUGH...

THEY WERE HANGING ON STRINGS.

[pop rock music]

♪ ♪

- HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

THOSE ARE THE BIRTHDAY BOYS BACK THERE.

LOOK AT 'EM GO.

THE STARS OF THE SHOW. [chuckles]

WELL, THIS IS HOW THIS IS GONNA WORK.

WE'RE GONNA DO SOME COMEDY SKETCHES FOR YOU,

YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH AT HOME.

IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE, BUT YOU--

[piano music, engine revs] WHOA.

[tiny horn beeps] WHAT'S THIS?

- OH, HEY, THAT'S OUR OLD FRIEND CAR-Y THE CAR.

- HE STOPS BY FROM TIME TO TIME

TO TAKE US ON A TRIP TO THE LAND OF PRETEND.

- YEAH, IT'S SORT OF A MAGICAL, FAIRY-TALE PLACE.

YOU WANNA SEE IT? - SURE.

- ALL RIGHT, CAR-Y. TAKE US ON A TRIP TO THE LAND OF PRETEND.

[horn beeps]

[car falls off table, motor whirs]

[piano music]

[horn beeps]

♪ ♪

[horn beeps]

- SO HE DOESN'T HAVE, LIKE, A MAGIC PORTAL OR SOMETHING?

- NO, HE JUST USES NORMAL ROADS. - OH.

♪ ♪

[heavy metal music]

- WHAT'S UP, THERE, BOYS AND GIRLS?

ME AND MY LITTLE FRIENDS HERE JUST PICKED UP A FEW GROCERIES,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WE GOT THE GOOD STUFF TOO.

I'M TALKING EGGS, SHAVING CREAM, AND FRIGGIN' TOILET PAPER.

- [laughs] - THAT'S RIGHT.

THIS NEIGHBORHOOD ISN'T GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT IT.

AM I RIGHT, GUYS? [laughter]

LET'S FREAKIN' DO THIS. COME ON, LET'S GO.

[laughter, indistinct chatter]

- WHOO!

[indistinct chatter]

♪ ♪

- [sped-up giggle]

♪ ♪

[music stops]

♪ ♪

[police siren wails]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND WANTING TO BE IN A GARAGE ALL THE TIME.

AND TALKING-- GARAGES, GARAGES AND WHAT--

"BET I CAN GET A BETTER GARAGE IF I INVENT COMPUTERS."

WHAT?

SO I JUST GO OVER THERE TO WATCH THESE FREAKS.

THEY WERE FREAKS TO ME.

I DID SEE THEIR LITTLE, UH, DOOHICKEY

THEY WERE TINKERING WITH.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD OF IT.

ALL I KNOW IS IT LOOKS LIKE THE FUTURE.

AND THEY'VE GOT A TERRIBLE NAME FOR IT.

- WE WERE CALLING IT THE XR712.5...

- 7X... - 664...

- CB1...

- 8... - 48...

- 3... - DP3...

- XYZ... WHO KNOWS? SHUT UP.

I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY MORE NUMBERS. [chuckles]

I TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS DOOHICKEY, AND I SAID, "HEY,

"THAT LOOKS LIKE SOME... THING.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL IT A 'THING'?"

BOOM! SKYROCKET! HA-HA!

- WITH BARNUM'S BUSINESS SAVVY, AND THE BOYS' HARD WORK,

THE THING WAS AN INSTANT SUCCESS.

- SO WE MADE A BUSINESS DECISION.

HE WOULD OWN THE NAME, THE SOFTWARE RIGHTS,

THE HARDWARE RIGHTS, THE STOCK,

BUT WE RETAIN THE RIGHTS TO THE GARAGE.

- YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND, BARNUM IS JUST A BUSINESSMAN.

TO THIS DAY, I DON'T THINK HE KNOWS THERE'S A LOFT IN THERE.

TODAY WE ALL LIVE NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER

IN A GATED GARAGE-ONLY COMMUNITY IN LOS GATOS.

- OH, THEY GOT-- THEY GOT A GOOD DEAL, YEAH.

THEY GOT THE BETTER END OF THE--

CAN I GET ANOTHER LOBSTER HERE? COME ON!

COME ON.

[upbeat music]

- WE'VE ALL DONE REALLY WELL, SO NO COMPLAINTS.

IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE PAYCHECKS ANYWAY.

[dogs bark]

[exciting music]

- ALL RIGHT. THERE ISN'T MUCH TIME.

YOU'VE GOTTA TRANSPORT THIS WARHEAD TO THE D-5 BUNKER

AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO BE DISARMED.

OTHERWISE, THE TREADSTORM D-7 SEQUENCE WILL INITIATE.

[computer beeps] YOU GOT IT?

both: GOT IT.

- [muffled grunting]

- WHAT THE HELL?

WHO ARE YOU?

[muffled grunts]

- AH. - AH!

- WE'RE THE REAL TRANSPORTERS.

- THESE MEN ARE IMPOSTERS. THEY STOLE OUR UNIFORMS.

- YOU WERE GONNA HIJACK THE WARHEAD.

NICE TRY, YOU SACKS OF SHIT.

GOD DAMN IT! THERE ISN'T MUCH TIME.

CAN YOU GET THAT BOMB TO THE D-5 BUNKER?

- YOU BET YOUR ASS WE CAN. - RIGHT AWAY, SIR.

- HEY!

- WHO ARE YOU?

- WE'RE THE REAL TRANSPORTERS. - WHAT?

- WE'RE THE REAL TRANSPORTERS. THESE GUYS ARE IMPOSTERS.

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

THESE GUYS ARE IMPOSTERS.

THEY STOLE THOSE GUYS' UNIFORMS

AND LEFT THEM IN ROPES AND UNDERWEAR.

- NO. WELL, I MEAN, YOU'RE HALF RIGHT.

[laughs] LET ME EXPLAIN.

OOP--[chuckles] ANYWAY...

TREADSTORM IS A SUB-SECRET UNIPOL PROJECT.

- YEAH, I KNOW.

- NOW, THESE GUYS HERE ARE IN FACT UNIPOL IMPOSTORS,

BUT NOT FOR OMEGA 4, FOR ALPHA 9.

- OKAY.

- WELL, THEY STOLE OUR UNIFORMS, ALL RIGHT,

AND LEFT US IN ROPES AND UNDERWEAR.

AND THEN THESE GUYS CAME BY, BUT THEY'RE FROM ECHO 6.

AND THEY STOLE OUR ROPES AND UNDERWEAR.

- YEAH, AND THE DUCT TAPE FROM OUR MOUTHS.

- BUT WHY WOULD YOU GUYS STEAL ROPES AND UNDERWEAR?

I MEAN, WOULDN'T IT MAKE MORE SENSE TO STEAL

THE UNIFORMS? THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

- YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.

I CAN SEE HOW YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD'VE BEEN AN OPTION,

BUT IT REALLY WASN'T. YOU SEE--[grunts]

THE PROBLEM WAS THAT THEY ARRIVED SO LATE

THAT YOU WERE ALREADY HERE.

SO THEY COULDN'T GO AFTER THE UNIFORMED IMPOSTERS.

YOU WOULD'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

SO...

[grunting]

PARDON ME. [grunting]

WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO THAT FIRST SET OF IMPOSTORS

ABOUT, "YOU ARE TO TRANSPORT THIS WARHEAD

TO THE D-5 BUNKER," AND ALL THAT STUFF,

THAT'S WHEN IT WAS ALL HAPPENING.

THAT'S WHEN THEY TOOK OUR ROPES AND UNDERWEAR,

RIGHT BACK THERE WHERE YOU COULDN'T SEE IT.

NOW YOU GET IT.

WOULD YOU, UH-- WOULD YOU LIKE A RAISIN?

- SURE.

THANKS.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, I THINK I UNDERSTAND

PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING HERE,

BUT I DID HAVE ONE OTHER QUESTION.

WHY'D YOU GUYS WAIT SO LONG BEFORE YOU CAME OUT HERE?

I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE CLEARLY NOT TIED UP.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING BACK THERE?

- OH, RIGHT BACK THERE?

[rapid beeping]

- HE WAS LOOKING AT MY D--

[all screaming]

[lounge music]

[upbeat music]

- [exhales] I'LL TELL YOU,

IT WASN'T ALL FUN AND GAMES.

I WAS THIS CLOSE

TO DEVELOPING A FLOATING CO-POINT PROCESSOR,

AND WE HIT A TECH BUMP.

SOMEBODY LOST THE GARAGE DOOR OPENER.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

- POPULAR OPINION IS THAT DESMOND LOST IT.

- WHERE DID YOU HAVE IT LAST? - I DIDN'T HAVE IT.

- IF YOU KNOW THE GUY, IT MAKES SENSE.

- IT WAS RIGHT HERE! I DON'T--

- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT. NEXT TOPIC.

- THERE'S NOT A DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT DESMOND LOST IT.

HE WAS ALWAYS DICKING AROUND WITH THAT THING.

- STOP!

HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION?

I NEVER HAD THE GARAGE DOOR OPENER, OKAY?

ANSWER, DONE.

- YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THIEVES?

YOU REMEMBER BARNUM LABEAUX,

THE GUY WHO GOT RICH OFF OUR COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY?

HE'S A THIEF.

I THINK HE STOLE THE GARAGE DOOR OPENER AND PINNED IT ON DESMOND.

THOSE THINGS AREN'T EASY TO REPLACE EITHER.

THEY COME WITH THE DOOR.

- YEAH, I DON'T CARE ABOUT GARAGES.

I MEAN, WHAT? YOU PUT A CAR IN IT.

[upbeat music]

[tiny car horn honking]

[somber music]

♪ ♪

[door alert dings]

[scanner beeps]

[door alert dings]

♪ ♪

[tiny car horn honks]

- FROM HIS HUMBLE BEGINNINGS AS A NEIGHBOR, HE BROUGHT US...

- [laughs]

GO.

IT CAN HOLD UP TO FOUR BOOKS.

- AND NOW, HE'S READY TO UNVEIL

THIS YEAR'S REVOLUTIONARY DEVICE.

GIVE A BIG TECH WORLD WELCOME TO BARNUM LABEAUX.

[applause]

- HEY, TECHIES, I LOVE YA.

WELL, WE'VE BEEN VERY BUSY

AND MORE SECRETIVE THAN USUAL,

BUT THAT'S BECAUSE THIS YEAR, WE'VE GOT SOME THING

BIGGER THAN ANY THING WE'VE EVER HAD BEFORE.

[chuckles] [laughter]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[dramatic music]

[chuckles]

THIS YEAR, I'VE GOT...

NOTHING.

I...I COULDN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING.

- BOO!

all: BOO!

- I HAD NOTHING!

- HE'S A FRAUD!

- HE'S A PHONY!

- YOU DON'T DESERVE THE SUCCESS YOU'VE ACHIEVED!

[audience booing] - I'VE GOT NOTHING!

NOTHING!

[gags]

UGH, WHAT A NIGHTMARE.

[knocking at the door]

- THEY'RE READY FOR YOU, BARNUM.

[sighs] HERE GOES NOTHING.

- GIVE A BIG TECH WORLD WELCOME TO BARNUM LABEAUX.

[applause]

- HEY, TECHIES, I LOVE YA.

WELL, WE'VE BEEN VERY BUSY

AND MORE SECRETIVE THAN USUAL,

BUT THAT'S BECAUSE THIS YEAR, WE'VE GOT SOME THING

BIGGER THAN ANY THING WE'VE EVER HAD BEFORE.

[chuckles] [laughter]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[dramatic music]

[sighs]

I PRESENT TO YOU...

NOTHING.

I'VE GOT NOTHING.

SORRY, I JUST COULDN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING.

- WHOO!

[audience murmurs]

- HE'S-- HE'S ONTO SOMETHING,

BECAUSE THINK ABOUT IT,

WHAT'S SEPARATING US HERE, RIGHT NOW?

WELL, NOTHING, AND YET,

WE'RE COMMUNICATING.

IMAGINE A PRODUCT THAT COULD GIVE YOU THIS...

ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, ANYWHERE,

FOR A MINIMAL FEE.

- BRILLIANT.

[laughter and applause]

- [laughs]

- HE'S A GENIUS!

- YEAH, YOU'RE GETTING IT.

- YOU DESERVE THE SUCCESS YOU'VE ACHIEVED!

- YEAH, OH, LET'S SAY YOU HAVE A SONG IN YOUR HEAD

THAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS--YOU GUYS.

WELL, WITH THE NOTHING, YOU JUST...

[whistles]

♪ DOO DOODLE OODLE-EE DOO BOOP ♪

[cheers and applause] AND NOW, THE SONG

IS IN YOUR FRIEND'S HEAD,

AND HE CAN SHARE IT WITH HIS FRIENDS

AND HER FRIENDS AND THEIR FRIENDS.

IT'S GREAT, RIGHT? SO THROW OUT

THOSE STUPID, IDIOTIC, HEAVY,

"SMART," DUMB DEVICES,

AND GET WITH THE NOTHING.

YOU'RE GETTING IT, YOU LATTE-SIPPING,

TRENDSETTING, EARLY-ADOPTING JACKASSES!

WHOO! [cheers and applause]

all: NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!

NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!

[heavy metal music]

- DID YOU MISS U-U-U-U-US?

[loud cymbal crash]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

- OH, YEAH. - YEAH!

♪ ♪

[all cheering]

- YEAH! [laughter]

- RUN!

- RUN.

- ANOTHER CAKE!

OH, IF YOU THINK I WON'T DO YOU ANY FAVORS IN RETURN,

YOU GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!

I WANT ALL YOUR T-SHIRT SIZES!

- [laughs] - HE LOVED IT!

[soft piano music]

♪ ♪

- [chuckles] NO, I ATE THE WHOLE DAMN THING.

THAT WAS CRAZY. - [chuckles]

- HEY, TIM, HOW'S IT GOING, MAN? - OH. PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY GOOD.

HEY, CAN I ASK YOU GUYS SOMETHING?

- SURE. COURSE.

- YOU EVER SEE THE MOVIE HOPE FLOATS?

- HOPE FLOATS. OH, YEAH. ROMANTIC COMEDY, RIGHT?

LATE '90s? YEAH, YEAH.

- OH, IT WAS, UH, SANDRA BULLOCK...

- MM-HMM. - AND, UH...

HARRY CONNICK JR. - BINGO, YEAH.

- YEAH, I SAW THAT.

- COOL, COOL, COOL.

WHAT'D YOU THINK OF IT?

- I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS IT HAD SOME FUNNY PARTS.

- [chuckles] - YEAH, IT'S FUN.

IT'S JUST NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT.

- WHAT?

- IT WAS AN OKAY MOVIE, JUST NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT.

- RIGHT.

- GREAT.

JUST GREAT!

WHAT A GODDAMN WASTE OF TIME!

- JEEZ.

- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

[violin music plays]

- "DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER,

"IT HAS BEEN MANY WEEKS SINCE WE HAVE SPOKEN.

"HOPE FLOATS IS A 1998 AMERICAN FILM STARRING SANDRA BULLOCK,

"HARRY CONNICK JR., AND GENA ROWLANDS.

"HUMILIATED ON NATIONAL TELEVISION WHEN HER BEST FRIEND

"AND HER HUSBAND ADMIT THEY'RE IN LOVE AND HAVING AN AFFAIR,

"BIRDEE PRUITT MOVES BACK TO HER MOTHER'S HOME IN TEXAS.

"RETURNING HOME, HOWEVER, IS NOT EASY.

"CAN BIRDEE PUT HER RECENT PAST BEHIND HER

"AND START A NEW LIFE?

"I HOPE THIS LETTER FINDS YOU WELL.

"ALWAYS, TIM.

P.S. I'VE TURNED INTO KIND OF A WEIRD GUY."

both: OH.

[upbeat music]

[inspirational music]

- IN A DILAPIDATED HOME IN THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY,

SEVEN GUYS GOT TOGETHER ON A MISSION.

WE JUST LOVED COMEDY. WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY MASTER PLAN.

- MISSED REACTION SHOT TAKE TWO. HERE WE GO.

- IT WAS FOR THE LOVE OF COMEDY, NOT COMMERCE.

[laughter]

- FINALLY, THEY GOT THEIR GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.

A TELEVISION PRODUCER OFFERED THEM THEIR OWN SHOW.

BUT AT WHAT COST?

- NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M IN A SCENE

WITH MY CLOTHES AROUND MY ANKLES,

AND I'M NOT KNOWN FOR MY PHYSIQUE.

- HE MADE US DO A SKETCH ABOUT A SMALLER-THAN-NORMAL CAR.

- WELL, I AM KNOWN FOR MY PHYSIQUE, JUST FOR IT...

BEING TERRIBLE.

- EGGS, SHAVING CREAM, TOILET PAPER?

WHERE'S THE JOKE?

- THAT KIND OF THING'S NOT FUNNY TO US.

- EVENTUALLY ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH.

WE DECIDED TO CONFRONT OUR PRODUCER.

[people chattering]

- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE ARTISTS.

- WE ARE NOT GONNA TAP-DANCE

FOR THE LOBSTER EATERS DOWN ON MADISON AVENUE ANYMORE!

- IT'S EMBARRASSING!

- OH, GOD. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- I JUST BROUGHT YOUR PAYCHECKS.

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[all cheering]

♪ ♪

- [screams] - AAH!

- ONE, TWO, THREE... all: PAYCHECKS!

[indistinct chatter]

- HEY, GUYS, CHECK IT OUT.

all: OH!

- [screams]

- YEAH!

all: OH!

YO, HO, AND UP WE GO!

OH! - BOOM!

- I'M HAVING THE NIGHT OF MY LIFE!

- WHOO! - WHOO!

- ♪ GIMME THE GREEN STUFF, GIMME THE CHECKS ♪

[all cheering]

- WHOO! [excited chatter]

♪ ♪

- AH!

- YOU KIDDING ME? [laughs]

♪ ♪

all: WHOA! [laughter]

- THAT IS SO COOL! - IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE!

[cheering]

[birds chirping]

- [sighs]

[exuberant rock music]

♪ ♪

[all cheering]

♪ ♪

[shell crunches]

[laughter] - THIS PLACE IS SO--

- AHH!

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

[birds screeching]

[piano music]

♪ ♪

[electronic music]

all: ♪ PAYCHECKS ♪

♪ PAYCHECKS ON THE ROAD ♪ [bottles clink]

[horn honks]

- OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HEY.

DID WE JUST HIT SOMETHING?

- WHO CARES? WE GOT PAYCHECKS. HAND ME SOME OF THAT LOBSTER.

[laughter] - YEAH!

[rap music]