Original subtitles

You have a Master's degree?

I am studying for it.

What are you studying?

Comparative Literature.

Comparative Literature.

Compare what literature?

The coffee here tastes nice.

Would you like a cup?

No, thanks. I don't drink coffee.

I have a friend who loves coffee.

She makes it at home.

The entire place smells like coffee.

She has a coffeemaker that's this tall.

I don't think it looks nice.

You won't believe how much it costs.

More than two months of my stipend.

Hello, I am Chen Mingliang.

I am Chen Mingliang.

I am Wu Fang.

How do you do?

What would you like to drink?

Anything.

What would you like to drink?

Coffee.

Green tea.

One moment please.

Hello?

Thanks.

Please enjoy it.

Thanks.

I have a friend who tells fortune with tealeaves.

Upon first meeting.

She can tell most people's characters...

and their general fate.

Actually I don't believe her.

We've known each other more than 10 years...

ever since junior high.

I was surprised that she suddenly acquired this skill.

She never tells my fortune,

Only others

Especially those she's just met.

A lot of people say she is accurate.

They bring their family and friends

to her later.

I don't believe it.

Whatever.

Why don't you ask her over and tell my fortune?

If she is really good, I'll take her to dinner.

Do you take her as a waitress?

You beckon and she dashes over?

She doesn't dare, right?

Scared of the real stuff.

Whatever.

It's not whatever.

I hate con artists.

She's not a fraud.

She just tells fortunes.

Call her.

Come soon.

She can't.

She's out of town...

So she is a fraud.

OK, let's just say she's a fraud.

Why do you go on blind dates?

Why do you go on blind dates?

Do you want to get married?

Don't you?

Have you had boyfriends before?

Check please.

I'll pay.

Well, good-bye.

Thanks for the tea.

Not at all.

Anything else?

How about chatting some more in that hotel?

Let's get a room.

Does slapping me make you pure?

Like a virgin.

I don't think you are.

How do you know I'm not a virgin?

Don't think you can badmouth me just because you paid the bill!

Slow down. Let me pay.

Are you angry? I didn't mean bad.

Why are you angry?

Fang!

It's me, Chen.

Don't walk away.

Let me carry these books for you.

Gosh they are heavy.

How did you know I was here?

I also have a friend who tells fortune with tealeaves.

Stop it!

Give me my books.

Let me carry them for you.

When can you finish reading them all?

None of your business.

Why are you here?

Take me to a hotel room?

Is that the only thing you can think of?

What do you want?

Where did you go after slapping me the other day?

Another blind date.

More blind dates?

Anyone suitable?

What's it to do with you?

Give me the books.

Why are you being so nosy?

They are too heavy for you.

If there is no suitable suitor.

Let us chat some more.

About what?

Let's have a drink somewhere.

Maybe tea.

Didn't your friend teach you how to tell fortune?

Tell my fortune.

You want to meet my friend?

Is that why you are here?

No, it's not.

Let me help you.

I said something rude last time when we first met.

You should have slapped me.

So we are even now.

You are smiling. Let's have a drink.

I waited several hours for you.

I'd only been here a hour.

That's because you came the other way.

How many blind dates have you had?

I don't remember.

How many times?

Fifty or sixty?

What about you?

Just once with you.

You are too good for blind dates.

Am I good?

Pretty good.

I was just dumped by my fiancé.

We bought a house together and I lost her.

Do you know why?

Why?

She had another man.

I scolded her for stepping onto two boats.

She said she was the boat.

Me and the other guy were oars.

She picked the one that rowed better.

We were together for years and I was just an oar?

I was furious so I hit her,

The way you hit me the other day.

It couldn't be the same.

You are much stronger.

You're right.

She fell down right away.

And cried.

I said you should laugh.

Good thing you said I was an oar.

If you took me as a knife.

You'd be dead now.

Anyway.

It's the most despicable thing.

For a man to hit a woman.

For her.

I must go now.

Why are you walking back?

I don't want coffee.

Let's have tea then.

I don't want tea either.

What's wrong?

What did I say that offended you?

Don't smile at me.

Why did you come back to me?

Because you hit me.

You deserve it.

I deserve it

And I owe you money.

I have a date tonight.

A blind date?

Let me go with you.

Stop kidding around.

I'm being serious.

I'll keep my distance.

I promise I won't disturb you.

Let me check the guy out for you

How can that be?

It won't do.

It's safer this way.

Having a male chaperon.

Have some water.

Thank you.

You are welcome.

It's a nice day.

Aren't you hot?

I'm fine.

I'll untie a button.

You can do whatever you like.

Aren't you bored with studying everyday?

It's OK.

Reserved women like you are rare these days.

A friend once said -

The good thing about me is that I'm conservative.

The bad thing is I am too conservative.

Boyfriend, or girlfriend?

Would I be here if I had a boyfriend?

Of course it's a girlfriend.

Very pretty!

She changes boyfriends faster than the weather.

That woman looks so uncouth smoking.

I disagree.

My girlfriend smokes as well.

And she looks quite charming.

She says cigarettes made for women don't smell much.

Men don't feel repulsed when you kiss them after smoking.

What does your friend do?

She's also a graduate student.

Wu Fang?

I am Chen Mingliang.

I thought you looked familiar.

I looked at you from every angle.

I thought it might be you.

You are wearing glasses now.

You didn't use to wear them.

A friend of yours?

My high school classmate.

Classmates since kindergarten.

Then primary school and high school.

Have you forgotten?

Are your teeth whiter than before?

No wonder I couldn't recognize you at once.

I did it for you.

Didn't you see how untrustworthy...

That guy was?

Still angry?

Weren't we classmates once?

Who was your classmate?

Let's end it here.

We'll go on our separate ways.

And not see each other till death.

You look so quiet and civil.

But you talk so viciously

Why are you in such a rush?

Rush what?

To marry yourself off?

I want to.

So old fashioned.

What do you mean?

I am just like what my friend says -

Fang, the good thing about you is that you are conservative.

And the bad thing is you are too conservative.

Your friend is funny.

What does she do?

Are you interested in her?

I just think what she says is funny.

I don't think so.

She is quite cynical.

Really?

Her mother, whose experience affected her greatly...

Raised her alone.

You'll never guess what her mother did for a living.

What did she do?

Anyway, some people look tough in appearance.

But it's a sign of weakness.

What did her mother do?

Nothing.

Don't stop half way.

She was a make-up artist.

Isn't that nice?

Not for the living.

But for the dead.

Sounds interesting.

She lied to her husband when they married.

She said she was a nurse.

Many years later.

After their baby was born.

Her husband learned the truth.

Their story was quite bizarre.

Stranger than film and fiction.

Even the best writer can't dream it up.

I must go now.

Why?

It's just getting interesting.

Don't leave me hanging.

Why don't you pick up the bill.

We'll be even.

Shall we meet tomorrow?

What for?

Can't we just have a chat?

Pure chit-chat.

I'm busy tomorrow.

I really must go.

Can't you let me go?

All right!

Are you serious?

When have I lied to you?

Excuse me.

Why isn't Lang playing tonight?

I'm sorry sir.

She plays between 8 and 10 every night.

Thank you.

Not at all.

What do you think?

Shall we try?

Couldn't find you all night.

And here you are.

I did something amazing tonight.

I've never done it before.

Really exciting stuff.

I saw an amazing girl.

Are you listening?

I heard you.

A girl.

Really amazing.

What's the matter?

A girl. Go on.

I'll take you out for some fun.

That friend of yours -

What happened after her father learned...

That her mother was a beautician for the dead?

Is that what you meant by having something very important...

To talk about with me?

Yes.

Can't you be serious?

How am I not serious?

Is this important?

Of course.

I couldn't eat or sleep for a few days.

But think about your story all the time.

Isn't that important?

I know you're depressed about losing your fiancé

But I don't have time to amuse you everyday.

I think you've got lots of time.

You go on so many blind dates.

You must have plenty of time.

I didn't mean to provoke you.

I meant, instead of going on blind dates with strange men.

Why don't you chat with me and tell me stories.

What do you think?

Let's have dinner together tonight

I have a class tonight

Since you are here

Can't you look happier?

Smile to me

When I was in junior high

I saw her father a few times

His face was of a strange color

Have you ever seen the stalk of a buk-choy?

Yes

White with a green tint, translucent almost.

He had long and messy hair.

And an eccentric voice

Once I was at their house at lunchtime

Her mom put a plate of food on the table.

Her dad tapped the plate hard with a chopstick

Asking her if she had put poison in it

I was shocked

Why would she poison the food?

Her mom looked down in silence.

Her dad said

Don't show me that dead face

Marrying you was the worst blow fate had dealt me

You not only smell like the dead

You look dead as well

Her mom whispered that she didn't poison the food

Her dad swept all the dishes onto the floor

Laughing one moment and crying the next

Saying, please put some poison in it!

Kill me with poison!

I was so scared

I had never seen anyone like this

On our way to school

My friend told me that her dad was demented

Her mom was very pretty and very gentle

With beautiful hands

I heard about her profession after I had gone to college

I didn't think it mattered

You're in a different position from her dad

Some issues are more sensitive between husband and wife

Don't look at me that way

I despise this kind of man

Incompetent and violent to women

He not only beat his wife,

But his own child when he was drunk

Sometimes her sleeves couldn't cover the bruises

You are really skinny.

But your skin is fine.

Why cover yourself up?

Being shy?

You're at it again.

I haven't seen a shy woman for a long while

I have to go

Shall we meet here again tomorrow?

Don't push your luck

If you don't come

I'll go to your school everyday

And wait for you at the gate

And go into your classroom

Why do you go on blind dates?

I want to get married.

Why do you want to get married?

Because like me, you are lonely.

Which is perfect

I can drink tea with you and talk with you

Why are you avoiding me?

The first time I saw you

I knew you were a scoundrel

Actually I'm quite nice

Eventually

You'd know what an asshole I am

To tell you the truth

I think I am the man you are looking for

As a matter of fact

I am as good as ten men

Instead of seeing ten other men

You are better off chatting with just me

You really know how to flatter yourself.

Is that self-flattering?

I just want you to know me better

I know you already

Then let me know you better

See you tomorrow

I have classes tomorrow

I really must go

The day after tomorrow then

OK

See you then

You can take her away if you like her

Impossible

I don't believe it.

Nor did I in the beginning

I wouldn't have believed it If you told me so

But it's true

What's that guy doing?

You waited too long

You have to be decisive and act fast

You missed your chance today

Is it that simple?

In junior high, she was nicknamed Wrinkly.

Our literature teacher once joked...

That her face was too wrinkled for her age.

That's how she got her nickname

So it meant her face

I thought it meant something else

What happened later?

Later, her dad got worse

Beating her mom everyday.

Saying he couldn't stand her hands

And asked her to wear gloves at all times,

Even in her sleep.

There was a long plastic rope

On a wall in their house

On it hanged a few dozen pairs of gloves.

Later on

Her dad became dissatisfied with gloves

He said they still emitted the smell of the dead,

He said as soon as he smelled it

He'd want to die

Just let him die.

Are you God?

People die at your command?

What could they do?

Why didn't they get a divorce?

Her mom did ask for a divorce.

But her dad didn't agree.

He said her mom's hands had ruined his life.

He'd divorce her

If she'd cut off her hands.

Have you made this story up?

I seem to have seen it in some movie

What did I say that gave me away?

Nothing

Thank you

I don't think you lied to me

Why?

My ex-girlfriend was the kind of people

Who couldn't open their mouths without lying.

You don't seem to be that type

Don't miss your chance tonight

Rush over as soon as she sits at the piano

Here she is.

Did you hear me?

Actually I'm not that anxious

Are you a man or not?

Just you wait

Fang?

What did you say to her?

She is Fang

You must be mistaken.

She is that graduate student

Impossible.

All the men here want her.

Why does she need to go on blind dates?

After this piece

You can leave with her.

I told her I'd wait for her at the door.

I didn't know you played the piano so well.

Do you drink green tea?

I want to lose weight.

Besides, tea is especially thirst-quenching

You are thin enough.

Am I?

Fang?

You are Fang. Stop pretending.

Want a cigarette?

No thanks

I'll have one

OK I'll smoke one

Why don't you admit you are Fang?

Who is Fang?

You.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Not now

How many have you had before?

Three.

Only three?

How did you break up with them?

The one in senior high...

Didn't work out because we went to different universities.

The one in my freshman year...

Broke up after a fight

The last one broke up last month.

For what reason?

I already told you once.

About being an oar.

You're funny

Let me tell you,

I've seen hundreds of men.

Whatever your motives,

Don't play games with me.

Who is playing games?

Not me

You look just like her

You even sound like her

Who? Fang and I?

You speak the same way

You are Fang

Don't be so juvenile.

Fang and Lang. They even sound similar.

What a cliché way to pick up a girl

Have you no other name...

Than Lang?

Do you plan to come over to my place...

And verify who I am?

At least 7 or 8 men have had the same idea before you.

Your hand is so big. It can wrap mine.

Like a glove?

That's right

Have you heard the story of gloves?

No

No?

A friend of mine told me a story

About a girl whose mother was a beautician for the dead

Her husband initially didn't know

When he learned about it later,

He developed psychological problems

And asked her to wear gloves all the time.

You've never heard this story?

Is it a true story?

How could it be possible?

Which of the three girlfriends was this girl?

None.

What are you thinking about?

If you don't want to tell me

I'll stop asking

Why are you doing this?

What?

Doing this with men?

Doing what with men?

Drinking and chatting.

What's so bad about drinking and chatting with men?

I didn't mean that.

What did you mean?

You know what I meant.

It's just like playing the piano.

It's my job.

A relaxing way of making money.

What's wrong with it?

It wouldn't be so relaxing if you meet a bad guy.

What is a bad guy?

Aren't these people on the street bad guys?

There aren't any bad guys in this world.

Only businessmen.

You work at night. What do you do during the day?

You work during the day. What do you do at night?

Sleep of course.

You are so cute.

I'm off.

Shall I escort you a while longer?

That's not necessary

Why aren't you eating?

Eat some more.

Do you intellectuals only care about spiritual stuff and not material?

That depends

Why are you looking at me like that?

Have some food.

Women I used to know all loved money.

I think that's fine.

I feel secure when women love money.

I knew you were a smart woman when I first saw you.

Don't you like smart women?

See, you are smart.

There is nothing wrong with that

But it's difficult to set standards.

Do you understand?

Eat something. Why aren't you eating?

We can be friends.

Come to me if you need help.

I'll do what I can.

If you have financial problems...

You are too kind

How nice it is for men to have money.

I have a friend. She's very pretty.

She says - men can't be too poor.

A poor man is a bitter man

The poorer, the bitterer.

And difficult to be with

She only befriends rich men

Filthy rich men

Who drive Mercedes and BMW

And talks of tens of millions of dollars.

Much richer than you,

But like you, they have standards.

All successful men have standards.

I don't love money that much.

It's like having clothes -

A piece more feels the same as a piece less.

My friend is different

She turns men's heads...

Even in a pair of 20-dollar jeans.

She is so beautiful.

I'm the other way around

Nobody would look at me

Even if I were wearing something worth 20,000.

Hi

Am I late?

No. I'm early

I made green tea for you

Thanks

What's with you lately?

Obsessed with this place

Don't you like it here?

Other cafes are always too dim

With sofas that feel like beds

Even a nice guy like me would have unorthodox thoughts after a while

Let alone you

You are quite pretty.

Are you trying to comfort me?

No. You are the type...

That looks ordinary initially

But becomes prettier with time.

Why can't you be serious?

How can others trust you?

They admire my morality.

Have some wine

What are you doing? Give them back to me!

I want to see what you look like without your glasses.

Give them back to me.

Just one look.

Give them to me!

I just want to have one look.

Give them to me!

I think you are prettier without glasses

I am really, really sorry.

I didn't mean badly.

I was just kidding around.

Although we aren't exactly childhood sweethearts

We are still friends in a way, aren't we?

We've had a few cups of tea together

And a few cups of coffee

You can tell I'm a nice guy

I am honest and kind hearted

Anyway I am sorry

If you like

As long as it can ease off your anger

You can do whatever you want to

As long as you can stop being angry

Just do whatever suits you

Can you really keep a promise?

Yes

OK, our friendship ends here.

You walk on your wide road

And I'll cross my single-plank bridge,

As if we'd never met

OK, on one condition.

What?

You take the wide road

And let me cross the single-plank bridge

I can't let a bespectacled female graduate student take the single-plank bridge

I'll take it.

Why are you such a butthead?

Yes I can be quite shameless

Sometimes you're too much to handle.

That depends on whom you compare me with

With that father of your mysterious friend as the bottom line,

There are no unbearable men in this world.

Why compare yourself to him?

He's been dead more than 10 years.

How did he die?

Murdered

By whom?

Who exorcised this devil for the world?

You have no compassion.

I have compassion. It depends for whom.

Tell me what happened exactly?

There is no answer

It stirred up such a sensation.

Wife killing husband.

Everybody talked about it.

This type of story always gets distorted.

Some said her mom stabbed her dad 30 times with a sharp knife

Some said she chopped him with an ax.

Some even claimed that her mom slit her dad's throat in his sleep,

Spilling blood all over the wall.

Actually when it happened

My friend was there

And saw the whole thing

She said she had a premonition that morning.

She was really scared.

After her father died

She became famous in her school

People gossiped about her behind her back

A long time later

When talking about it

She said she killed her father

How old was she?

Fourteen or fifteen

Why?

Nothing

She didn't have to die for murder

She was under the legal age

Before she told me about it

Her mother was sent to jail for unintentional manslaughter

Why?

Her mother admitted in court that she had killed him

Was there any evidence?

Does confession count as evidence?

Her father was killed in the kitchen

Her mom was cooking in the kitchen.

Her dad was drunk

And attempted to rape her mom

Her mom resisted.

Her dad became angry.

He knocked her mom's head on the wok.

You know that kind of thick, cast-iron wok

He knocked so hard that her head broke.

Blood ran all over her face.

My friend was frightened.

She went over in tears and pulled her dad's legs.

But she was too weak for him

He kicked her in the head.

She fell down and couldn't move

Her mom was enraged.

She picked up the wok and threw it at her dad,

Knocking him over.

It wasn't fatal.

But when her dad fell

He bumped onto a potato peeler.

It slit an artery on his neck.

That's how her dad died

What?

I'm telling you a story.

You've taken it seriously?

What happened later?

I told you it's a story.

What later?

All stories have an ending.

Her mom was sentenced to 20 years

For unintentional manslaughter.

Eat together?

The story is finished. Stop following me.

Have dinner with me?

I have a class tonight.

You are lying.

Learned how to identify truth from fake from your girlfriend?

Let me follow you to your school.

If you really have classes

I promise I won't harass you again

Can't you stop being such a butthead?

I swear I am serious

OK. I'll tell you

I don't have classes tonight

I guessed as much

But I do have a date

A blind one?

Can you not go?

I'm almost late

I really must go. Bye-bye

Wait

What do you think of me?

What do you mean?

How about me?

Would you like to be my girlfriend?

Can't you be serious?

I am serious

You are never serious

Right now I am

I'll seriously answer you: No

Why not?

What about you?

Why do you want me as your girlfriend?

I can't articulate it

But I know it in my heart

How should I put it?

Like, the way you talk

Especially when you are angry

What kind of reason is that?

Yes I often go on blind dates

I enjoy doing it

I know I'm ugly and men don't like me.

But I'd rather be rejected by other men

Than accepting your offer

What do you take me for? An aid recipient?

I don't regard you as an aid recipient

I don't want to talk to you

Don't follow me

Why don't you want to talk to me?

What the hell!

Are you nuts?

I want to talk to you

My girlfriend is here

Come back tomorrow

Let me put down the beer

It's heavy

Come tomorrow

I'll sit here

I promise I won't look that way

I need to talk to you

Otherwise I'm too depressed

Are you crazy?

Get out!

Or I'll call the police

Go ahead and call the police

I'll talk to them

And stop bothering you

You didn't drink

Why are you acting drunk?

Why don't you go downstairs

I'll follow you down later

What's wrong with saying a few words?

I won't look your way

You can do whatever you like

Just regard me as a blind man

What's wrong? Bad mood?

I seem to understand women less and less.

Girlfriend of many years

Became someone else's wife

Just when we were about to marry.

There used to be many bitter women before.

Now there are more and more bitter men.

I'm not bitter but full of hatred

I don't hate her

I hate myself

She had an affair right in front of me

And I didn't detect it at all

Aren't I the stupidest idiot in the world?

You are not stupid

You just trusted her too much

All my friends

Including myself

Think I am a complete idiot

People think I am a hooker

We don't live our lives for others

In reality, I'm playing the role of a psychotherapist

You are the prettiest therapist in the world

I thought you were nice

But you are quite slick-tongued

I'm telling the truth

Did I tell you that my ex-girlfriend was a pianist?

Really?

We went to the same university

She was studying music

She played the piano at bars in her spare time

She made a lot of money.

We bought a house together

Had it all done up

We even had our wedding photos taken.

And she married someone else

Maybe you two weren't meant for each other.

That's for sure

Maybe when we leave this bar later

You'll meet the girl of your dreams at the door

You say I'm slick-tongued

I think you are

I'm not being slick-tongued

I'm just being professional.

You pay for me to talk to you

And I must make you feel good.

You are so nice

Why don't you take me home?

Now the truth comes out.

I didn't mean that

I don't want to do anything to you

I just don't like going home

It makes me depressed

Reminding me of many unhappy events

The way you describe your girlfriend

Makes me jealous

Is she pretty?

Not as pretty as you

Her name is Fang?

No.

Fang is someone else.

Your new girlfriend?

She is not my girlfriend

She is just a friend

What are you complaining about...

Now that you've got a new girlfriend?

I've said she is not my girlfriend

She rejected me

She is avoiding me now

Her mobile is always off

No wonder.

Why don't you bring her to see me?

Sorry, the subscriber you have dialed is powered off.

Sorry, the subscriber you have dialed is powered off.

Sorry, the subscriber you have dialed is powered off.

I want to talk to you about something

Will you swap houses with me?

No way!

You don't want to exchange your dump for my 3-bedroom apartment?

I hate going home

Do you understand?

I'll keep harassing you

So what some bitch dumped you?

Must you hang yourself on that tree?

None of the trees will let me hang myself on them.

Do you want the pianist or the graduate student?

I'm not giving you a hard time

Listen to me

Stop fancying Lang

She's the forest type

Who appears to be full of roads

But after going around a while

You find yourself in the same spot

Apart from delusions and traps

There are no roads at all

How do you know?

Don't forget I went around the forest before you

Is there another type of women

Who appears to have no roads

But is in fact full of them?

Yes

They are called the Rome type

All roads lead to Rome.

Try to concentrate on that graduate student

An ugly wife is priceless.

As the old saying goes

She's not ugly.

She becomes prettier with time.

Then what are you doing here?

You asked me over.

Don't come to me any more

Why not?

It's not necessary

If you are lonely

Find yourself a nice girlfriend

Who said I'm lonely?

I have a girlfriend

Really?

It's that graduate student I told you about

The story I told you

Happened to her friend's parents

She tells fortune with tealeaves

She is full of surprises

Do you think I like her?

Judging by the way you act

I can tell you like her a lot

I don't deny it

You two are different

How so?

She is the type...

That makes one feel close to

You are the type that

Knocks one over

Yes you knock men over

Do you think you are like a pill?

Or a

Baseball bat?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Several hundred

I mean...

Don't be silly.

No boyfriend? Oh well...

Dream on!

Then you do have a boyfriend

Let's just say I do

Actually my dad was also a loser

He wrote a play when he was young

During the Cultural Revolution

And became famous overnight

A young and amorous talent

He had a lot of fans

Although not as crazy as today's fans

My mom was very pretty

Dad picked her amongst several hundred girls

All his life

He only wrote that one script

And was glamorous for only a few months

Marrying him didn't bring my mother...

Any happiness

But lots of pain

She says to me

She's a walnut

Before marrying she was juicy

And lovely

Marriage turned her into a tough nut

Dark and jabbing

Later, when the shell was cracked

And the kernel exposed

Her life became better

You are the walnut kernel

That's right

What does your mom do?

She runs a glove factory.

Gloves factory.

Gloves again!

Hello? Hello?

It's you!

This is Chen. This is Chen.

I know

I can tell

I was really worried these days

Where have you been?

Why is your phone always off?

Why don't you answer my calls?

Conference? What conference?

Can't I call you without any reason?

OK. OK.

You are tired

Rest for now

I'm happy to know your phone is on

And I can find you

OK. All right

I'll call you tomorrow

OK?

See you tomorrow

OK. Good-bye

Can you help me analyze myself?

Why do I always think of you?

Stop it

What?

Stop making fun of me

How am I making fun of you?

Do you know what's missing in you?

What?

Femininity

A really feminine woman

Would have been flattered by what I said

But you are so stiff

Stiff?

You think I'm a corpse?

Would I regard you as a corpse?

You've studied too much

Without thorough comprehension

Where you should be sensitive, you're not;

And where you shouldn't be, you're too sensitive

What's it to you?

I care about you

I'm worried you might be conned

I went on a date during the conference in Hangzhou

With a post-doc, a critic.

Fie!

What?

A blind date in Hangzhou?

What's wrong?

Can you stop embarrassing yourself?

You go on one blind date after another

And get despised over and over

If it doesn't hurt your self-respect

It hurts mine

Can't you change your strategy?

Don't you know

There is a rainbow in front of you

And you needn't run through thunderstorms

You really like me?

It sounds corny

But when you were away, I really missed you

Other men despise me

Why not you?

I'm not other men

I can see what others can't see

Stop going on blind dates.

It's so chaotic out there

What if you meet some bad guys?

You're not as tough as other women

You look like a bad guy

How do you know I'm not tough?

Judging by what you just said

Don't you know

Tough women don't talk like you

The tougher they are, the softer they speak.

I didn't know you were so experienced in this respect

It's not experience

It's perception.

How is your friend's mom doing in prison?

She was released two years ago

Oh yeah?

But she went back in after a while

Why?

I'm not quite sure

Where did she go back?

Back in jail?

I think so

Why? Because she likes it so much?

She couldn't get used to the outside world.

Will you let me meet your friend?

I won't

Why not?

I'm afraid you'll fall in love with her

Can you not turn your mobile off?

Just a moment

Nothing much

Don't hang up. I'm not finished

Shall we have dinner together tonight?

With some of my friends

Can't you make an exception?

I've already promised them

Just do me a favor

Come over

I'm begging you please

Just pretend I'm a strange man

And it's a blind date

Hello? I can't hear you

I can't hear her

Sorry, the subscriber you have dialed is powered off.

Hi!

What do you want?

You know

Where are we going?

I'm having dinner with some friends

But I can't find my girlfriend

Why don't you come in her place

Where is that graduate student?

If I could find her, I wouldn't...

No, I wouldn't take her even if I could find her

I'm begging you to do me a favor

I don't look like a graduate student

You do, except for this dress

I don't have anything else

Let's go and buy you something

OK

Which way? This way or this way?

This way

Let's go

Gosh! Is it true?

On the beach, whack! Head split open

What's the time?

This is Fang

Hello! Impossible!

Come and have a seat

Fang has a master's degree

Beautiful and talented

Are you envious or jealous?

Look at my boyfriend

He's salivating

What are you talking about?

I'm telling the truth

Forgive him

He's been a loser since childhood

Let's drink a toast

For Chen and his charming girlfriend

Bottoms up, Jun

When did you learn to use such superlatives?

When I see a beauty

Every man becomes eloquent in the presence of a beauty

What beauty?

She's just ordinary

Only number 3 in the country

You are so ungrateful

You are quite talkative tonight

So are you

Oh so I'm wrong

I'm sorry my darling

You can tell fortune with tealeaves, right?

Would you like to show them how?

Who says I can tell fortune?

I can only tell something about love

That's great!

How do you do it?

How?

Don't mess up your tealeaves

By just looking at the leaves in your teacup

She can tell your fate

I'm first. Lady first.

Gosh you're anxious

You really want to know?

Yes

Are you paying?

Anything

You are a smart woman

Quite manipulative

TRUE

You know how to play cards with men.

And have them do what you want them to do.

But you are too anxious and impatient.

You can conquer men quickly

But in turn show your flaws too soon.

In fact, you look tough but are actually quite weak.

You trick men into loving you.

But eventually they'd come to resent you.

Normal men don't like you.

They'd try to get rid of you quickly.

In general, it should be said.

That you can make men fall in love with you at first sight.

That's true.

But you can't keep a long-term relationship.

It's hard for you to obtain everlasting love.

Sounds like I should marry myself off soon.

Yes, yes

It's useless. It won't change your fate.

What is fate?

These dumb tealeaves?

Sometimes, fate is just a few tealeaves.

Why did you pinch me?

I didn't.

Didn't you ask me to do this?

Right.

I was just kidding.

Don't take it seriously.

I won't.

That's great.

Let me toast to everyone.

It was just a joke.

But she is good.

Chen, have another one.

Stop drinking.

Come, bottoms up.

I've hit my limit.

Yes or no?

Yes or no?

All right, last one.

There is no wine left.

Waitress, open another bottle.

Are you nuts?

You are nuts!

Didn't we come out to drink?

Don't overdo it.

Who's overdoing it?

Open them all.

I'll pay if he won't.

Please stop this nonsense.

I'll drink with you.

But I won't drink with you.

I just want to drink with Chen.

Come, Chen, cheers.

I can't.

Another one.

I'm about to throw up.

Are you up for it?

You are not a man if you don't drink it.

OK I'm not a man.

So, after all.

You are not a man.

Since you are not a man.

I will drink up for you.

Stop drinking.

Fill it up.

Why must you mess it all up?

Don't yell at me!

I hate it when a man yells at me.

Stop it!

I'll stop yelling.

And you'll sit here quietly.

How am I not quiet?

Why am I drinking like this?

Isn't it all for you?

I know you like Chen's girlfriend!

I'll help you.

I'll get Chen drunk so you'll get a chance.

Jun!

I hate it when a man hits a woman.

Why did you hit my boyfriend?

I'll kill you!

Hi.

May we have a room?

What type of room?

Can you help me analyze myself?

Why do I always think of you?

Stop it!

What?

Stop making fun of me.

How am I making fun of you?

Do you know what's missing in you?

What?

Femininity.

A really feminine woman.

Would have been flattered by what I said.

But when you were away, I really missed you.

Other men despise me.

Why not you?

I'm not other men.

You've studied too much

Without thorough comprehension

Where you should be sensitive, you're not;

And where you shouldn't be, you're too sensitive

I didn't know you were so experienced in this respect.

You go on one blind date after another.

And get despised over and over.

If it doesn't hurt your self-respect.

It hurts mine!

Can't you change your strategy?

Don't you know?

There is a rainbow in front of you.

And you needn't run through thunderstorms.

You really like me?