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1
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:03,125
All students leaving
for the College at Sea program...
2
00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:04,833
please meet at the student union.
3
00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:07,125
Booker!
4
00:01:07,208 --> 00:01:08,625
Hey, wait up!
5
00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:11,542
Booker!
6
00:01:11,583 --> 00:01:12,792
- Booker.
- Heh.
7
00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:15,125
I've been lookin' all over for you.
8
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:16,208
- Hey.
- Hi.
9
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:21,000
Rachel, I have something
I have to say to you before I leave.
10
00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:22,708
Yeah, me, too.
11
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,500
OK, let me go first.
12
00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:26,375
All right.
13
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:30,792
Listen, I'm gonna be away
for months on this cruise.
14
00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:31,833
I know.
15
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:34,875
Rehearsing the play,
seeing the world.
16
00:01:34,917 --> 00:01:36,375
I'm a young man.
17
00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,667
I gotta be free.
18
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,875
You understand, right?
19
00:01:42,042 --> 00:01:43,375
No.
20
00:01:44,792 --> 00:01:46,792
I'm breaking up with you.
21
00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:48,792
Now, what were you gonna say?
22
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,833
I just signed up to work backstage.
23
00:01:53,917 --> 00:01:55,833
I'm going on the cruise, too.
24
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:22,875
So what does "X" equal?
25
00:02:22,917 --> 00:02:23,917
Who's your daddy?
26
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:28,500
OK, everyone, let's take it
from the top of Act Two.
27
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:52,333
Look at them.
28
00:02:52,417 --> 00:02:54,792
College cruise indeed.
29
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,417
More like an excuse to drink
themselves into oblivion...
30
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,792
and engage in lewd behavior.
31
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,125
Despite my best efforts...
32
00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:05,083
I'm afraid our students are only
receiving an education in slacking.
33
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:07,792
Now, Dean Dryer,
they're only college students.
34
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:08,917
Kids'll be kids.
35
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,333
Personally I'm looking forward
to the student-written play competition.
36
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:13,708
Uhh! Ohh.
37
00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:16,292
I don't expect there
to be much competition.
38
00:03:16,375 --> 00:03:18,292
Woodson University
is a fine institution...
39
00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:21,250
and they've sent us
some of their best students.
40
00:03:21,292 --> 00:03:23,542
What about the students
from Billingsley University?
41
00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:27,042
Those kids are a pack of drugged-out
sex-obsessed idiots.
42
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,958
They'll be lucky
if they can get through their play...
43
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,625
without killing someone.
44
00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:39,958
That was awesome.
45
00:03:42,417 --> 00:03:46,375
You know, that lamp's supposed
to be a prop for the play.
46
00:03:46,417 --> 00:03:48,708
Oh. Does the play need a bong?
47
00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:01,167
Hey.
48
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:04,083
See you there.
49
00:04:05,292 --> 00:04:06,792
Ho ho. Rusty.
50
00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:09,542
You're for abstinence?
51
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,542
Wait a minute.
52
00:04:11,583 --> 00:04:13,292
"Abstinence Support Group"?
53
00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:16,500
Heh. I thought I was signing up
for the Huge Penis Club.
54
00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:17,500
Uh-huh.
55
00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:18,917
'Cause I have a huge penis.
56
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,042
Bye-bye.
57
00:04:20,125 --> 00:04:22,000
It's a burden, really.
58
00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:39,625
"Yes, sir.
59
00:04:39,708 --> 00:04:41,792
"We'll call an ambulance. " Yeah!
60
00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:43,792
"No, sir. It's not...
61
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:45,292
"Yes, sir. "
62
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:47,292
No, sir.
63
00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,083
- Ho! Oh!
- Ohh!
64
00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:50,792
Oh! Violet!
65
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,708
Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you OK?
66
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,375
I'm OK, Newmar. Are you OK?
67
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:55,500
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
68
00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:56,583
- Ouch.
- Oh, so sorry.
69
00:04:56,667 --> 00:05:00,042
I was just in the zone running my lines.
I'm so clumsy.
70
00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:01,833
You're clumsy, but cute.
71
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,042
I'm so glad Robin cast you in the play...
72
00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:08,958
and we got to meet.
It must have been fate, huh?
73
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,375
Hey...
74
00:05:11,417 --> 00:05:12,458
I love you, Violet.
75
00:05:12,542 --> 00:05:13,792
I love you, too, Newmar.
76
00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:18,542
I called my mom at the last port,
and I told her that you may be the one.
77
00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:20,792
You told your mom
that we were gonna have sex?
78
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:21,792
Marriage, Newmar.
79
00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:23,750
Is sex all you ever think about?
80
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,208
What? No, I...
81
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,875
Anyway, Olga and I just finished
setting up our meeting...
82
00:05:26,917 --> 00:05:29,583
for Abstinence Is Awesome.
Isn't that exciting?
83
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,708
Yeah. Super.
84
00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:34,750
Aw, that's why I like you
so much, Newmar.
85
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:35,750
You're so supportive.
86
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,958
Anyway, I gotta go.
87
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,667
Uh, see you at rehearsals later.
88
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:49,792
Bye.
89
00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:52,833
What's it been, man, two months?
90
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:53,833
Still no sex?
91
00:05:53,917 --> 00:05:54,917
Three.
92
00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:59,042
Hey, listen. She wants you.
93
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,583
It's in there hiding.
94
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:02,833
Yeah?
95
00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:04,208
All girls want sex.
96
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:07,042
Rachel was a virgin
when we started dating...
97
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:10,375
but then it was like
lettin' a tiger out of the cage.
98
00:06:10,417 --> 00:06:11,958
Move it, jerk.
99
00:06:12,042 --> 00:06:14,375
All right, everyone,
let's complete the run-through.
100
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:17,250
Let's take it back from Marla's line again.
101
00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:23,958
It was supposed to be mine
after the divorce...
102
00:06:24,042 --> 00:06:27,375
but my husband's lawyers
are a slippery lot.
103
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:30,542
Booker!
104
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:31,917
What?
105
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,292
Oh. Sorry.
106
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:34,583
What about shoes?
107
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:37,792
Heh. We don't have any of those
in your size, big guy.
108
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:41,125
But I'll, uh... I'll definitely pick some up
when I go to port.
109
00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:43,167
Do you know where my hat is?
110
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,167
Sorry.
111
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:45,167
That's not right.
112
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,792
More, more. Move it back more.
113
00:06:46,875 --> 00:06:48,250
Brady, where's my hat?
114
00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:49,458
How the hell should I know?
115
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,833
Now that's too far. Move it stage left.
116
00:06:51,917 --> 00:06:53,250
Stage left? What the difference...
117
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:54,750
between stage left and left?
118
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:57,458
Gerri, I've hooked it up
with half the chicks on this boat.
119
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,750
It's getting boring.
120
00:06:58,833 --> 00:07:01,083
When are you and me gonna happen?
121
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:02,583
I'll say never.
122
00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:05,208
But, Stuky-Poo,
if I decide I want gonorrhea...
123
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,542
you'll be the first guy I call.
124
00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:13,333
I am an expert on
carbonaceous deposits...
125
00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:14,458
which have crystallized...
126
00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:19,458
into metastable dodedahecron...
127
00:07:19,542 --> 00:07:21,250
or diamonds.
128
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,083
Five bucks says she drops it again.
129
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,458
Hmm.
130
00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:25,875
I have...
131
00:07:25,958 --> 00:07:27,042
Uhh.
132
00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:28,208
Oopsie.
133
00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:30,333
I'll have a look.
134
00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:34,375
Oops. Sorry.
135
00:07:34,417 --> 00:07:36,083
Nice one!
136
00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:37,250
I'm really sorry.
137
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:40,208
Oh, don't worry. After you broke
the first three, she got a whole box.
138
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:41,583
I am staring at the statue, Mike.
139
00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:43,250
You are pointing it at the fireplace.
140
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,292
Fireplace?
141
00:07:44,375 --> 00:07:45,833
Hey, Dante, did you move my hat again?
142
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:48,792
I wouldn't move it if you'd stop putting it
on the prop table.
143
00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:50,292
It's not a prop. It's a costume.
144
00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,292
I put it there so I know where it is.
145
00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:54,333
Stop movin' my fuckin' hat!
146
00:07:54,417 --> 00:07:57,458
Rusty, get off the stage.
147
00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:59,083
Can we just start the scene over again?
148
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,417
You know what? Let's move on.
149
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,542
Rusty, stay right there.
150
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:04,333
We need to work on your problem scene,
so let's start with the big speech.
151
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,750
Oh, but, Robin,
I always mess that speech up.
152
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,000
That's why we need to work on it,
so you don't mess it up.
153
00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,625
Can we just cut it?
154
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:10,667
Start the scene.
155
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,208
- Ohh!
- Oh, my God!
156
00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:15,792
Sorry, everybody. My bad.
157
00:08:15,875 --> 00:08:17,000
Jesus, that could've killed me!
158
00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:18,667
Sorry, Marla. Didn't mean to kill ya.
159
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,500
Is everyone OK? Are you OK? Brady!
160
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,292
It was Mike. He's a dumbshit.
161
00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:23,292
Deal with this.
162
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:24,333
Right. Mike, you're a dumbshit.
163
00:08:24,417 --> 00:08:25,583
Shut up.
164
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:28,000
Find a safety chain or something
to keep these lights in place.
165
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:29,583
We perform for the judges tomorrow.
166
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:32,083
Everyone, remember
the other play performs tonight.
167
00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:33,208
We should all be there.
168
00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:35,417
Do you need us
to move anything off the stage?
169
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,625
No. Apparently they don't need a set.
170
00:08:37,708 --> 00:08:38,625
It's po-mo, post-modern.
171
00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,042
In the future?
172
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,083
God, I'm sick of this stupid play.
173
00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:45,167
I thought that I'd get laid here.
174
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:46,958
I'm not a picky man, Booker.
175
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:48,750
I'll take anything with a vagina.
176
00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:51,167
Last night, I tried to fuck a porthole.
177
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:52,167
Rusty.
178
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,292
I saw your name on the sign-up sheet.
179
00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:56,250
That's great you support abstinence.
180
00:08:56,333 --> 00:08:57,792
I didn't know you were a virgin.
181
00:08:57,875 --> 00:09:00,333
Ahh! Keep it on the D.L., will ya?
182
00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:01,458
- OK.
- You're right.
183
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:04,167
It's truly the one thing I keep sacred.
184
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:05,958
Rusty, you're a virgin?
185
00:09:06,042 --> 00:09:07,250
Wow. What a shock.
186
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:08,792
You know, there is a difference...
187
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,167
between saving yourself for marriage...
188
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,083
and just being too lame to score.
189
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:14,250
I think the meeting is gonna be fun.
190
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,583
Abstinence Is Awesome.
191
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:18,792
Tweedleslut and Tweedledum,
you two ain't virgins.
192
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:20,125
If I didn't have a D.U.I. already...
193
00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:22,583
I'd drive a bus through your v-jays.
194
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:23,667
Getting arrested last year...
195
00:09:23,750 --> 00:09:25,708
was the best thing
that ever happened to us.
196
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:27,125
Yeah, the best.
197
00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:29,458
It was in our court-mandated drug rehab...
198
00:09:29,542 --> 00:09:32,458
that Lynne and I realized
we needed to change.
199
00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:34,833
We've become born-again virgins.
200
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:37,125
We know you're not for abstinence, Rusty.
201
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:38,708
We're watching you.
202
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:39,958
Yeah, mister.
203
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,958
Eyes wide shut. Humph.
204
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,625
Why are you going
to Violet's support group?
205
00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:49,417
Isn't that kind of, you know,
counterproductive to getting laid?
206
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:50,500
Are you kidding?
207
00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:53,042
These girls are about
to snap at any second...
208
00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:56,083
and I wanna make sure I'm around
when it happens.
209
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:58,667
God! Why is she hanging out with Stukas?
210
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,000
He's such an asshole.
211
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,625
What do you care? You dumped her.
212
00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:05,875
I know. I can't stop thinking about her.
213
00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:07,542
Ohh! You still like her!
214
00:10:07,625 --> 00:10:09,208
No, I don't. Shut up.
215
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,167
Yeah, you do! You love her!
216
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:12,750
Ow! He loves you, Rachel!
217
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,417
- Ow!
- Dude, shut...
218
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,458
Ow!
219
00:10:29,708 --> 00:10:32,625
Thank you for coming
to Abstinence Is Awesome.
220
00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:33,667
- Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!
221
00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:35,958
Whoo, yeah!
222
00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:37,208
Ah, wonderful!
223
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,333
Just great! Yeah!
224
00:10:38,417 --> 00:10:39,667
Yes!
225
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,792
There's a lot of pressure
for us women to give it up.
226
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:46,667
You have movies, magazines, television...
227
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,625
music videos, the internet.
228
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:49,792
People are having cybersex.
229
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:52,167
I mean, we can't give in to temptation.
230
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,625
We have to stay strong.
231
00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:54,750
- Yes!
- Whoo!
232
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:55,792
Yes!
233
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:56,792
Whoo!
234
00:10:56,875 --> 00:10:59,083
Marla, Lynne, would you like to share?
235
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,458
- Yes.
- Thank you, ladies.
236
00:11:00,542 --> 00:11:04,833
As you know, recently Lynne and I
became born-again virgins.
237
00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:07,208
Hallelujah. Yes!
238
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,542
But it wasn't always easy.
239
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,833
I mean, there were times that we...
240
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,750
we gave in to temptation.
241
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,042
Yeah.
242
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,333
A lot.
243
00:11:15,417 --> 00:11:17,125
It's so easy to lose control.
244
00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:20,875
Yeah, like when you plan on
only giving a guy a blow job...
245
00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:24,667
and it's just so much fun
that you end up sleeping with him.
246
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,083
We have to resist these male advances.
247
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,875
That's why from here on out...
248
00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:32,625
I am carrying a rape horn.
249
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,292
Me, too!
250
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:36,125
OK. Thank you, ladies.
251
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,708
Now for a male perspective.
252
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:40,500
Rusty, why did you decide
to save yourself for marriage?
253
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:42,542
Well, Violet, I just want...
254
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:44,875
my first time...
255
00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:46,625
to be, uh...
256
00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:49,542
really, really special.
257
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,875
You know, like, uh...
258
00:11:50,958 --> 00:11:52,792
on a cruise ship.
259
00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:56,000
With, uh, the tropical breeze...
260
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,583
in cabin one hundred twenty-six...
261
00:11:57,667 --> 00:12:00,250
where I'll be today from 6:00 to 7:00.
262
00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,000
Thank you. Thank you, girls.
263
00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,625
That is so sweet.
264
00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:05,625
Rusty, is that why you're in this group...
265
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,375
so that you can try to score?
266
00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:09,250
Rusty, is that what you're planning?
267
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:10,958
Well, now that you bring it up...
268
00:12:11,042 --> 00:12:14,458
aren't any of you virgins as horny as I am?
269
00:12:14,542 --> 00:12:16,292
I mean, I... I do.
270
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:17,542
I... I wanna do it.
271
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,292
I do, and I want it to be dirty.
272
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:23,208
And I mean, why shouldn't I?
273
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:27,125
Why shouldn't you when everyone else
on Earth is doing it?
274
00:12:27,208 --> 00:12:29,750
I'm fallin' off the wagon here, girls.
275
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,458
I need some group support!
276
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:32,917
Let's have an orgy!
277
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,917
Rusty!
278
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000
Uh...
279
00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:43,458
look, this ship...
280
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:47,792
could hit an iceberg and sink tomorrow.
281
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:49,625
And then how would you feel...
282
00:12:49,708 --> 00:12:53,292
knowing that you didn't live your life
to the fullest?
283
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,167
Now...
284
00:12:57,667 --> 00:12:59,792
who wants to have sex with me?
285
00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:02,583
All right, I've heard enough.
Let's put it to a vote.
286
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:04,625
All in favor of ejecting Rusty,
raise your hand.
287
00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:05,958
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
288
00:13:06,042 --> 00:13:07,292
Ejaculate him!
289
00:13:07,375 --> 00:13:09,625
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You cockblocking fascist.
290
00:13:09,708 --> 00:13:11,958
This will not stand. Motion to strike...
291
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,167
- Wai... whoa!
- Raah!
292
00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:23,792
This is a photograph I took
a mere nine months ago...
293
00:13:23,875 --> 00:13:26,125
during my appraisal
of the famous Pharaoh's Heart...
294
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,292
the legendary jewel of Araby...
295
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:33,292
one of the largest
and most beautiful diamonds in the world.
296
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:36,625
Actually, this is
the last photograph taken of the jewel...
297
00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:37,958
before it was stolen.
298
00:13:38,042 --> 00:13:39,542
Now, I imagine the thief to be feeling...
299
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:41,250
pretty happy right now with his grab...
300
00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:45,417
because I estimate that this jewel
is worth in excess of...
301
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,292
what should we say, Mr. Hanson?
302
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,000
Uh, uh...
303
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:51,500
twenty million?
304
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:54,750
I wonder, however,
if the thief is also aware...
305
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:58,417
that the diamond carries with it a curse.
306
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:01,458
I understand you were initially a suspect...
307
00:14:01,542 --> 00:14:04,083
in the disappearance
of the Pharaoh's Heart.
308
00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:06,417
Yes. Well, of course it's only natural...
309
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,542
that Interpol would follow any logical lead.
310
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:11,375
However, I don't imagine
I'd still be teaching here...
311
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,375
if I were an international jewel thief.
312
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,625
Did you need something, Dean Dryer?
313
00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:19,292
Oh, no, no. Just passing by.
314
00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:22,000
I like to keep an eye on things.
315
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:30,625
Well, since the diamond's rediscovery
eighty-six years ago...
316
00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:34,000
it has been stolen
on no less than fourteen occasions...
317
00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:40,000
and on every occasion, the thief
has turned up very dead soon thereafter.
318
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:43,833
Do you think the curse is real,
Professor Cavendish?
319
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,208
My dear students...
320
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:50,208
I have seen many wondrous,
strange things in my travels...
321
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,917
but a curse?
322
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,833
Black magic?
323
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,667
Well, at any rate, if there is a curse...
324
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,875
then the current thief should be
turning up dead soon enough.
325
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:45,250
Uhh.
326
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:49,542
Ah, tonight I'll be saying good-bye to you...
327
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,708
my beautiful Pharaoh's Heart.
328
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:57,250
But I'll be saying hello to twenty million.
329
00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:00,792
Wow. So you, like, wrote this thing?
330
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:02,458
- Mm-hmm.
- That's awesome.
331
00:17:02,542 --> 00:17:05,208
You know, I'm... I'm totally, totally, like,
into plays and shit.
332
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:07,000
Then you should definitely come
tomorrow night.
333
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,833
It's completely student-produced.
334
00:17:08,917 --> 00:17:11,875
Robin, I have an emergency,
serious play business.
335
00:17:11,917 --> 00:17:12,917
Whoa.
336
00:17:14,042 --> 00:17:14,958
Man.
337
00:17:15,042 --> 00:17:16,458
What, Dante? What's wrong?
338
00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:17,708
Man, that was a close one.
339
00:17:17,792 --> 00:17:19,833
I think that guy
might have been hitting on you.
340
00:17:19,917 --> 00:17:21,875
You said there was
an emergency, Dante. What...
341
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,625
Yes. Uh, the candlesticks for the table...
342
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,167
which color do you want?
343
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:26,458
That's it?
344
00:17:26,542 --> 00:17:28,625
Jesus, you scared me.
345
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,625
Ask Wang. He's the prop master.
346
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:32,042
Heh. Right.
347
00:17:32,125 --> 00:17:34,292
Uh, way to delegate, Robin.
348
00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:37,542
I- I'm totally committed to this play.
349
00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:45,667
Man, Captain Bunkley's wife is hot as shit.
350
00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:48,375
She looks familiar, too.
351
00:17:48,417 --> 00:17:50,167
I feel like I know her from somewhere.
352
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:51,667
- Well, I know her.
- Yeah?
353
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,417
In the Biblical sense.
354
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,833
You telling me
you boned the captain's wife?
355
00:17:55,917 --> 00:17:58,750
She's nasty, man, total slut for it.
356
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:01,042
You're so full of shit.
357
00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:16,250
Ms. Daniels.
358
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,792
We missed you in class today.
359
00:18:18,875 --> 00:18:21,042
Isn't there some way
I can make up the credit?
360
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:24,875
Oh, I'm, uh... I'm sure
we can work something out.
361
00:18:24,917 --> 00:18:27,208
Please, why don't you come on in?
362
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:31,292
You know, some might consider it
a trifle inappropriate...
363
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:33,958
a student visiting a professor in his cabin.
364
00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:38,750
Oh, yeah? Well, I wonder
what they would say about... this?
365
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:47,250
That's a good start on your extra credit.
366
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,625
This has been
the greatest semester of my life.
367
00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:52,667
And when the cruise is over
we won't have to hide anymore.
368
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,167
We can explore Egypt and Rome.
369
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,208
I'll show you the world.
370
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,958
This is Captain Bunkley speaking.
371
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:04,958
There's been a change in our course.
372
00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:08,375
Instead of stopping
at Desoro Negros tonight...
373
00:19:08,417 --> 00:19:12,958
we'll be moving on
and docking at San Paradiso.
374
00:19:13,042 --> 00:19:15,167
That is all.
375
00:19:16,292 --> 00:19:18,708
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, my dear...
376
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:21,375
but I'm afraid I have to be going.
377
00:19:21,417 --> 00:19:23,583
Why? W-what's happening?
378
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:47,000
Vroom, vroom.
379
00:19:47,083 --> 00:19:48,292
Bunkley!
380
00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:49,708
Captain Bunkley, g... whoa.
381
00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:53,375
Well, uh, pardon the interruption...
382
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,167
but I had specifically requested...
383
00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:57,167
that we stop at Desoro Negros.
384
00:19:57,250 --> 00:20:00,083
Well, there are
some very important ruins there...
385
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,458
that I would like to study.
386
00:20:01,542 --> 00:20:03,000
Professor Cavendish, I appreciate...
387
00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:06,292
this isn't just a teaching trip for you...
388
00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:10,208
that you're making
an archeological tour of these islands...
389
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,667
but I've recently been informed...
390
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:15,958
that the ruins at Desoro Negros
are not very spectacular.
391
00:20:16,042 --> 00:20:18,625
Apparently the only thing
of any real interest...
392
00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:23,125
is a thriving black market for stolen goods.
393
00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:24,375
Oh, really?
394
00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:26,208
I had no idea.
395
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:30,042
Now, we don't want
to expose these students...
396
00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,708
to a situation like that.
397
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:33,458
No, of course not.
398
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:34,667
Hmm.
399
00:20:40,542 --> 00:20:43,625
Dude, I'm so dominating you right now.
400
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,208
Oh, really, dude?
401
00:20:45,292 --> 00:20:48,583
Because you've been playing
by yourself for the last five minutes.
402
00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:51,542
Really? Peter, don't you have
an interview with Dean Dryer?
403
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,375
Oh, damn.
404
00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:56,417
I... I gotta take a shower a-and do my hair.
405
00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:59,417
Just skip it. Gerri's a shoo-in for that grant.
406
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,417
She caught that criminal last year.
407
00:21:01,458 --> 00:21:03,042
Dude, she's like a superhero.
408
00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:04,375
Plus she's smokin' hot.
409
00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:06,958
Yeah. If I'm gonna get this grant...
410
00:21:07,042 --> 00:21:11,625
I am going to need to summon
all my powers!
411
00:21:11,708 --> 00:21:13,833
To the bong, Batman.
412
00:21:17,208 --> 00:21:18,542
In a few days...
413
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,917
I'll be making my recommendation
to the Billingsley board...
414
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,917
regarding the awarding of the grant.
415
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,958
Ms. Farber, you have executed...
416
00:21:26,042 --> 00:21:27,208
one of the finest scholastic turnarounds...
417
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,833
I've seen in years.
418
00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:30,792
Thank you. I take my, uh...
419
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,458
educational career...
420
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,917
very seriously.
421
00:21:38,583 --> 00:21:40,583
As for you, Peter...
422
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:43,708
I'm not entirely sure why
you're up for this grant at all.
423
00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:47,292
You went from a 3.8 average
to what I can only describe...
424
00:21:47,375 --> 00:21:51,250
as an embarrassing personal nose dive.
425
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:55,250
To what do you attribute
this pathetic decline?
426
00:21:55,333 --> 00:21:57,250
Well, Dean Dryer,
I- I've been asking myself...
427
00:21:57,333 --> 00:21:59,250
that very question over and over and...
428
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:00,250
Mmm-hmm.
429
00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:04,333
I mean, who is Peter Michael Hanson?
430
00:22:04,417 --> 00:22:07,125
Is he a conservative Republican?
431
00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:09,167
A liberal Democrat?
432
00:22:10,625 --> 00:22:13,333
How about just a lazy moderate?
433
00:22:13,417 --> 00:22:15,333
Just lazy.
434
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,875
Uh, rest assured, whoever he is...
435
00:22:22,917 --> 00:22:24,875
if... if he doesn't get this grant...
436
00:22:24,917 --> 00:22:26,875
then he is gonna be doomed...
437
00:22:26,917 --> 00:22:29,542
to wander this planet that we call Earth...
438
00:22:29,583 --> 00:22:30,583
just... just pondering...
439
00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:36,875
His very existence.
440
00:22:36,917 --> 00:22:39,333
I mean, you... you don't...
441
00:22:39,417 --> 00:22:42,750
you don't want that
on your conscience, now, do you?
442
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,042
Plus my dog just died.
443
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:49,792
Patches.
444
00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:52,500
She could do a back flip.
445
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:01,792
Hey!
446
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:04,500
Excuse me.
447
00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:08,083
Oh. Hey, Pete. Heh.
448
00:23:08,167 --> 00:23:11,167
Cliff? What the hell are you doin' here?
449
00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:13,167
I work here. I'm the bartender...
450
00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:15,833
the pirate bartender. Har.
451
00:23:15,917 --> 00:23:16,833
No shit.
452
00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:18,000
Wh-when'd you start?
453
00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:19,583
I jumped onboard at San Quista.
454
00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:20,583
But don't tell anybody...
455
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:22,958
because you might get subpoenaed.
456
00:23:23,042 --> 00:23:24,667
Right. Heh.
457
00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:25,750
So how you been, man?
458
00:23:25,833 --> 00:23:27,542
I'm OK, you know, ever since...
459
00:23:27,583 --> 00:23:29,875
you got me fired
from my work-study program.
460
00:23:29,917 --> 00:23:31,333
Uh, I'm stoned a lot...
461
00:23:31,417 --> 00:23:34,250
and it's been pretty much
a downward spiral since then.
462
00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:36,667
- That's awesome. Me, too.
- Yeah.
463
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,792
Well, how about a drink
on the house, man?
464
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,708
Wait. Let me first check with the boss.
465
00:23:40,792 --> 00:23:41,708
OK.
466
00:23:41,792 --> 00:23:43,083
He says all right.
467
00:23:45,583 --> 00:23:47,333
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen...
468
00:23:47,417 --> 00:23:50,292
and I use that term loosely.
469
00:23:52,042 --> 00:23:54,417
Well, then, tonight we see the first...
470
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:57,000
of our two finalists
for the Dobmeyer Prize...
471
00:23:57,083 --> 00:23:59,125
Womanizing Objects...
472
00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:01,917
written by Sarah Beesik
of Woodson University.
473
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,542
Uh, I hear the choreography
is quite special.
474
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:09,500
So let's give them
a warm college cruise welcome.
475
00:24:25,125 --> 00:24:28,042
Hello, man.
476
00:24:28,083 --> 00:24:31,417
I am a...
477
00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:33,708
vagina.
478
00:24:34,750 --> 00:24:38,500
Why do you oppress me, man?
479
00:24:40,417 --> 00:24:43,708
I long for...
480
00:24:43,792 --> 00:24:44,958
freedom.
481
00:24:54,917 --> 00:24:59,417
These are my...
482
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:00,875
breasts.
483
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,125
These are my...
484
00:25:06,208 --> 00:25:08,167
bosoms.
485
00:25:10,417 --> 00:25:11,750
- Those...
- Those...
486
00:25:11,833 --> 00:25:13,708
- Are her...
- Are her...
487
00:25:15,375 --> 00:25:17,458
- Cans.
- Cans.
488
00:25:19,667 --> 00:25:30,917
- Bouncy.
- Bouncy.
489
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:31,917
- Bouncy...
- Bouncy...
490
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,833
How delightfully post-modern.
491
00:25:33,917 --> 00:25:37,667
Deliciously decadent.
492
00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:39,583
I like boobs.
493
00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:42,417
This is the best play I've ever seen.
494
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:43,458
- Bouncy.
- Bouncy.
495
00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:53,667
How could the judges give that play a 9.6?
It made no sense.
496
00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:54,667
Don't worry, Robin.
497
00:25:54,750 --> 00:25:57,792
Once the judges see your masterpiece,
they'll forget all about that tripe.
498
00:25:57,875 --> 00:25:58,958
Now, let's think about this.
499
00:25:59,042 --> 00:26:02,875
They had no actual play,
but they performed topless... 9.6.
500
00:26:02,917 --> 00:26:05,917
We have a play,
so if our girls go full-frontal...
501
00:26:05,958 --> 00:26:08,333
I think that'll put us over the top.
502
00:26:08,417 --> 00:26:09,458
Shut up, Rusty.
503
00:26:09,542 --> 00:26:12,208
You shut up, Marla. I'm just trying to help.
504
00:26:12,250 --> 00:26:14,333
That shirt makes your boobs look small.
505
00:26:16,917 --> 00:26:20,375
All ship personnel, prepare for docking.
506
00:26:20,458 --> 00:26:22,417
Ladies, drinks.
507
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:24,417
Oh, we should go salsa dancing.
508
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,000
Ooh. I love salsa dancing.
509
00:26:28,042 --> 00:26:29,583
No dancing!
510
00:26:29,667 --> 00:26:31,875
That's just an excuse for boys
to put their hands all over you.
511
00:26:31,958 --> 00:26:34,292
Oh, you two make
such a cute lesbian couple.
512
00:26:35,542 --> 00:26:38,125
Listen, gaybo.
Just because we've sworn off men...
513
00:26:38,208 --> 00:26:40,458
doesn't mean that we are...
514
00:26:40,542 --> 00:26:42,000
you know.
515
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:43,750
Ooh. Did I strike a nerve?
516
00:26:43,833 --> 00:26:45,125
Get out of our room.
517
00:26:45,208 --> 00:26:48,375
Oh, you two are so obviously in love
with each other...
518
00:26:48,417 --> 00:26:51,042
and here I thought it was a beautiful thing.
519
00:26:51,083 --> 00:26:52,083
Come, Gerri.
520
00:26:52,167 --> 00:26:55,042
Let's leave these two lovebirds alone.
521
00:26:55,083 --> 00:26:56,500
Can you believe him?
522
00:26:56,583 --> 00:26:57,833
Mmm.
523
00:26:57,917 --> 00:26:59,958
OK, how do I look?
524
00:27:00,042 --> 00:27:01,667
Great.
525
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:02,667
Thanks.
526
00:27:02,750 --> 00:27:04,417
Ooh. Your bra's poking out.
527
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:06,458
Oh. Heh. Us...
528
00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:08,292
a couple? Heh heh.
529
00:27:12,083 --> 00:27:14,500
You know what?
I think we look great. Let's go.
530
00:27:14,583 --> 00:27:16,292
OK. Heh.
531
00:27:16,375 --> 00:27:22,917
Robin.
532
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,083
OK, so we have a multipart plan
for the evening.
533
00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:26,208
What's up, dude?
534
00:27:26,292 --> 00:27:27,750
We're gonna find some local exotic drugs...
535
00:27:27,792 --> 00:27:29,042
and then we're gonna take them.
536
00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:30,833
Dante.
537
00:27:30,917 --> 00:27:32,583
Whoa. Uh...
538
00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:35,750
You comin' onshore, or what?
539
00:27:35,833 --> 00:27:38,250
Maybe I'll catch you later.
540
00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:40,083
I have an errand to run.
541
00:27:40,167 --> 00:27:42,167
- Boo!
- Boo! Drugs.
542
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,875
Whoa ho! Baby, you almost took me out.
543
00:27:45,917 --> 00:27:47,292
You smell like brandy. What's wrong?
544
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:49,417
Look, Ms. Daniels,
I'm afraid I don't have time...
545
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,292
for this right now.
I have to go make a phone call.
546
00:27:52,375 --> 00:27:53,958
I thought we were gonna have dinner.
547
00:27:54,042 --> 00:27:55,125
I said I don't have time for this.
548
00:27:55,208 --> 00:27:56,292
Wh-wh...
549
00:27:56,375 --> 00:27:57,833
You see? This is exactly...
550
00:27:57,917 --> 00:28:01,542
why you shouldn't fraternize
with the students.
551
00:28:01,625 --> 00:28:03,042
I get too attached.
552
00:28:03,125 --> 00:28:04,208
What?!
553
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:06,333
Kiss my ass, Rex! I'm not some...
554
00:28:06,417 --> 00:28:07,708
Don't just walk away from me.
555
00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:10,792
Get your boney white ass
over here right now.
556
00:28:46,042 --> 00:28:47,750
Hey, Mrs. Bunkley.
557
00:28:47,833 --> 00:28:49,542
You're lookin' quite hot tonight.
558
00:28:49,583 --> 00:28:52,542
Come back when you've grown
a few inches, junior.
559
00:28:52,583 --> 00:28:56,917
Oh. I'm growin' a few inches right now.
560
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,125
Wait. Now I'm more like eight or nine.
561
00:29:01,417 --> 00:29:03,125
Remember who you're speaking to.
562
00:29:03,208 --> 00:29:04,958
I'm the captain's wife.
563
00:29:05,042 --> 00:29:07,750
Stukas. What a fuckin' liar.
564
00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:09,667
Gerri, I wanted to ask you
a question about men.
565
00:29:09,750 --> 00:29:11,375
I know you've been with a lot of guys.
566
00:29:11,417 --> 00:29:12,958
Uh, those guys don't really count.
567
00:29:13,042 --> 00:29:15,375
That's when I was drinking a lot
freshman year.
568
00:29:15,417 --> 00:29:17,792
But I've totally got my drinking
under control now.
569
00:29:17,875 --> 00:29:18,792
Here's another kamikaze...
570
00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:19,833
and your double rum and Coke.
571
00:29:19,917 --> 00:29:21,125
Thanks.
572
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:32,542
What are you doing?
573
00:29:32,583 --> 00:29:34,000
Trying to dance.
574
00:29:34,083 --> 00:29:35,083
What are you doing?
575
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:38,667
Whoa. Hey.
576
00:29:55,208 --> 00:29:57,208
Hey, Gerri.
577
00:29:57,292 --> 00:29:59,625
Drunk enough to spread 'em for me yet?
578
00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:06,458
I'll have another.
579
00:30:08,333 --> 00:30:09,292
Zdorov'ye.
580
00:30:12,833 --> 00:30:13,958
Da.
581
00:30:14,042 --> 00:30:17,500
So they tell me you're the man to see
to, you know, get high.
582
00:30:21,833 --> 00:30:23,583
What's that?
583
00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:25,792
Is drugs.
584
00:30:25,875 --> 00:30:27,333
Well, right, but I mean what kind?
585
00:30:27,417 --> 00:30:28,417
Is it hash or what?
586
00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:30,375
Yeah. Is drugs.
587
00:30:30,417 --> 00:30:31,667
Is drugs.
588
00:30:31,750 --> 00:30:32,667
You buy it.
589
00:30:32,750 --> 00:30:33,708
It looks like tar.
590
00:30:33,792 --> 00:30:36,083
Do you eat or or smoke it or what?
591
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:38,375
Yeah. Eat. Smoke. Is drugs.
592
00:30:38,458 --> 00:30:40,417
You buy.
593
00:30:47,708 --> 00:30:51,167
Oh, finally. Some size fourteens.
594
00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,542
I'll take the come-fuck-me pumps.
595
00:30:56,875 --> 00:30:59,417
Oh, hey. I'm, uh...
596
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:02,750
I'm looking for something to, uh,
slip in girls' drinks...
597
00:31:02,833 --> 00:31:05,083
make 'em wanna have sex with me.
598
00:31:05,167 --> 00:31:08,417
So, uh, just give me
the strongest thing you got...
599
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,417
like, uh, ground-up rhino penis
or something like that.
600
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:13,333
No, man. No rhino penis.
601
00:31:13,417 --> 00:31:14,375
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
602
00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:17,417
Well, uh, what kind of penis do you have?
603
00:31:18,667 --> 00:31:20,875
Man, that might have been
the best thing around here.
604
00:31:20,958 --> 00:31:22,500
I mean, he said it was drugs.
605
00:31:22,583 --> 00:31:24,750
Dude, I've seen a lot of drugs in my life...
606
00:31:24,833 --> 00:31:26,333
and that shit did not look right.
607
00:31:26,417 --> 00:31:27,375
Yeah.
608
00:31:27,417 --> 00:31:30,208
You, Americans, you like gettin' high?
609
00:31:30,292 --> 00:31:31,208
Fuck, yeah.
610
00:31:31,292 --> 00:31:32,542
Native to this country...
611
00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:34,875
is a monkey that feasts
on psychedelic molds...
612
00:31:34,917 --> 00:31:36,750
that are poisonous to humans...
613
00:31:36,833 --> 00:31:39,917
but if you grind up a monkey's bones...
614
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,833
the powder contain
all the psychedelic properties.
615
00:31:43,917 --> 00:31:45,958
Dude, monkey bones.
616
00:31:49,208 --> 00:31:52,542
Choo Choo, what have you got for Rolo?
617
00:31:55,083 --> 00:31:56,833
Let's see.
618
00:32:00,708 --> 00:32:02,708
What is this junk?
619
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,417
You stupid monkey.
620
00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:11,208
You're supposed to steal me
jewelry and Rolexes.
621
00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:14,542
You're useless, Choo Choo.
622
00:32:14,583 --> 00:32:18,708
I should grind you up
and smoke you right now.
623
00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:21,875
Two hundred dollars.
624
00:32:21,917 --> 00:32:23,917
But we only have one hundred dollars.
625
00:32:23,958 --> 00:32:27,125
Monkey bones are very valuable,
my friends.
626
00:32:27,208 --> 00:32:29,167
One hundred dollars not enough.
627
00:32:33,042 --> 00:32:37,292
Boys, you want monkey bones?
628
00:32:37,375 --> 00:32:38,958
Come.
629
00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:43,083
One hundred dollars,
I give you monkey bones.
630
00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:45,708
This place keeps gettin' creepier.
631
00:32:45,792 --> 00:32:47,083
But it is drugs.
632
00:32:47,167 --> 00:32:48,167
True that.
633
00:32:54,125 --> 00:32:55,750
Choo Choo.
634
00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:58,625
Um, that's a whole live monkey.
635
00:32:58,708 --> 00:33:01,000
With bones inside.
636
00:33:01,083 --> 00:33:03,542
You can grind him up and smoke him.
637
00:33:03,625 --> 00:33:05,667
This is a good deal.
638
00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:08,417
We're gonna smoke
a little fuckin' monkey, dude.
639
00:33:18,042 --> 00:33:19,583
Ho ho!
640
00:33:19,667 --> 00:33:23,042
Wait. Wait.
641
00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:25,375
Land ho, maties!
642
00:33:25,417 --> 00:33:27,125
Oh, that's Yellowbeard's Island.
643
00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:30,083
We'll surely find the treasure now.
644
00:33:30,167 --> 00:33:31,417
Captain, I know it.
645
00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:33,750
Under the cave in the center rock...
646
00:33:33,833 --> 00:33:35,417
is a... there's a treasure!
647
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:37,708
Ah, we'll be rich. We'll all...
648
00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:40,583
Dude. Dude! Break's over.
649
00:33:40,667 --> 00:33:43,042
Get back to the bar.
650
00:33:43,083 --> 00:33:44,417
Sure.
651
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,875
Maybe we should find some guys.
652
00:33:46,958 --> 00:33:49,625
But wh-what about being born-again?
653
00:33:49,708 --> 00:33:52,292
Well, we are. I mean, I don't know.
654
00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:55,292
Look, leave me alone, OK? I want a guy.
655
00:33:55,375 --> 00:33:57,083
I love guys!
656
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,042
Hey, Cavendish, your, uh...
657
00:34:13,125 --> 00:34:14,458
your phone call's gone through.
658
00:34:14,542 --> 00:34:17,000
You can take it over there at the table.
659
00:34:17,083 --> 00:34:18,042
- Thanks.
- Right.
660
00:34:23,750 --> 00:34:25,458
I don't know how you're still walking, Gerri.
661
00:34:25,542 --> 00:34:26,792
You drink like a fish.
662
00:34:26,875 --> 00:34:29,667
I can't believe the way
you were dancing with that guy.
663
00:34:29,750 --> 00:34:30,667
Oh. Yummy.
664
00:34:30,750 --> 00:34:32,167
That's not even your drink.
665
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:33,167
It is now.
666
00:34:33,250 --> 00:34:35,417
Gerri, you know what'll happen
if you drink that, right?
667
00:34:35,500 --> 00:34:37,000
You'll wake up tomorrow with a guy...
668
00:34:37,083 --> 00:34:38,833
whose eyes are going
in two different directions.
669
00:34:38,917 --> 00:34:41,417
That only happened once,
the whole eye thing...
670
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:43,583
and I've got my drinking under control.
671
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,042
Oops.
672
00:34:46,083 --> 00:34:48,083
I need another buttery nipple.
673
00:34:48,167 --> 00:34:50,750
Yes, well, of course I know we're docked...
674
00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:53,417
at the wrong bloody island,
you blithering idiot.
675
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,417
Yeah, somebody must be onto me.
676
00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:57,083
No. No, don't go anywhere.
677
00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:58,417
I'll, um... look, I'll, uh...
678
00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:01,417
I'll charter a little boat and come to you.
679
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:04,833
Yeah... you better not start getting cold feet
on me now.
680
00:35:04,917 --> 00:35:07,333
Uh, Rex... I mean, Professor Cavendish.
681
00:35:07,417 --> 00:35:10,167
Can I talk to you for a mo... ment?
682
00:35:31,917 --> 00:35:33,875
Professor Cavendish!
683
00:35:34,917 --> 00:35:37,667
Ah, hello. Hello there, ladies.
684
00:35:37,750 --> 00:35:39,083
What's the suitcase for?
685
00:35:39,167 --> 00:35:40,083
Uh, papers.
686
00:35:40,167 --> 00:35:42,000
Um, so, look, we were wondering...
687
00:35:42,083 --> 00:35:44,125
if maybe you wanted to have
a cocktail with us.
688
00:35:44,208 --> 00:35:45,375
Ah.
689
00:35:45,458 --> 00:35:47,750
I know that you're our teacher
and everything, but...
690
00:35:47,833 --> 00:35:50,208
I'm afraid I'm in a bit of a hurry.
691
00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:52,375
Besides, I really don't think I'm your type.
692
00:35:52,458 --> 00:35:53,917
Ohh! What are you talking about?!
693
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,250
Of course you're our type!
694
00:35:55,333 --> 00:35:57,417
We do it with guys all the time!
695
00:35:57,500 --> 00:35:58,458
Yeah, all the time!
696
00:35:58,542 --> 00:35:59,625
But not at the same time!
697
00:35:59,708 --> 00:36:00,792
Well, no.
698
00:36:00,875 --> 00:36:04,333
Except a couple times freshman year.
That was really fun.
699
00:36:04,417 --> 00:36:06,750
- Never mind.
- Ohh! Ohh!
700
00:36:06,833 --> 00:36:08,750
Ohh!
701
00:36:18,917 --> 00:36:20,250
What?
702
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:22,042
You.
703
00:36:22,083 --> 00:36:26,208
Ha ha. I should have known.
704
00:36:26,292 --> 00:36:28,542
What, you... you want it, hmm?
705
00:36:28,583 --> 00:36:29,958
Yeah?
706
00:36:30,042 --> 00:36:33,000
You want the Pharaoh's Heart?
707
00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:35,500
Plenty of people have killed for it before.
708
00:36:35,583 --> 00:36:38,250
But I've been in tighter spots than this.
709
00:36:58,083 --> 00:37:01,375
My favorite part of the play
was when you showed your boobs.
710
00:37:02,750 --> 00:37:05,750
Oh, hi, Rachel.
711
00:37:05,833 --> 00:37:09,542
These fine thespians and I
were just heading back to my cabin.
712
00:37:09,583 --> 00:37:13,042
What's the matter?
You could only find one guy?
713
00:37:13,083 --> 00:37:15,583
One hot guy.
714
00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:16,792
Mush!
715
00:37:18,750 --> 00:37:19,958
Let's go.
716
00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:32,208
Packet full of shit I bought didn't do crap.
717
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:35,292
I slipped it into four different girls' drinks.
718
00:37:35,375 --> 00:37:37,292
Hey, isn't that the archeology professor?
719
00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:38,458
Yeah.
720
00:37:38,542 --> 00:37:41,583
Aw, man, he's totally passed out drunk.
721
00:37:42,625 --> 00:37:46,375
OK, we should write "Caven-douche"
on his forehead and, uh...
722
00:37:46,458 --> 00:37:47,917
give him a Dirty Sanchez.
723
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,458
Wait. I have a better idea.
724
00:38:08,417 --> 00:38:09,875
Oh, God! Ohh! Oh!
725
00:38:16,542 --> 00:38:18,500
Let's get some of Marla's panties...
726
00:38:18,583 --> 00:38:21,458
and throw 'em on him
and then put him in the shower.
727
00:38:23,917 --> 00:38:25,708
Dean Dryer...
728
00:38:25,792 --> 00:38:28,292
wh-what are you doing still up?
729
00:38:29,375 --> 00:38:31,958
Well, as my maiden aunt used to say...
730
00:38:32,042 --> 00:38:35,250
that is none of your beeswax.
731
00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,333
What's all the commotion?
732
00:38:38,417 --> 00:38:41,125
Oh, nothin'. Just, uh, headin' off to bed.
733
00:38:42,917 --> 00:38:45,917
Well, do try to keep it down.
734
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,875
Night.
735
00:38:52,375 --> 00:38:54,583
Oh, shit.
736
00:39:03,083 --> 00:39:05,167
Well, good night.
737
00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,208
We'll be in here...
738
00:39:07,292 --> 00:39:08,500
fucking.
739
00:39:08,583 --> 00:39:10,292
Yeah? Well...
740
00:39:10,375 --> 00:39:12,792
we'll be in here fucking...
741
00:39:12,875 --> 00:39:14,708
harder!
742
00:39:31,875 --> 00:39:33,792
I figured you'd come by eventually.
743
00:39:33,875 --> 00:39:37,458
Well, Rexford, I'm not only
here for your convenience, OK?
744
00:39:37,542 --> 00:39:41,000
Go take a cold shower,
'cause you look like shit.
745
00:39:49,750 --> 00:39:52,417
Come on, Booker.
746
00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:53,708
Heh heh.
747
00:39:53,750 --> 00:39:56,500
Uh, why don't you girls get...
748
00:39:56,583 --> 00:39:58,917
you know, started without me?
749
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,375
Make out with each other or something.
750
00:40:44,292 --> 00:40:48,750
Newmar, Rusty said something today
that got me thinking.
751
00:40:48,833 --> 00:40:51,042
Don't listen to him. He's a numskull.
752
00:40:51,083 --> 00:40:53,375
I think it's time we make love.
753
00:40:55,917 --> 00:40:58,333
Rusty is a wise man.
754
00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:30,708
What was that?
755
00:41:33,250 --> 00:41:35,833
Jumping fish?
756
00:41:35,917 --> 00:41:37,833
Hey...
757
00:41:37,917 --> 00:41:40,875
maybe we should go back to my cabin.
758
00:41:40,958 --> 00:41:42,792
Not tonight. Tomorrow.
759
00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:46,083
I want everything to be perfect.
760
00:41:46,167 --> 00:41:47,417
OK.
761
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,667
I will make everything perfect for you.
762
00:41:51,917 --> 00:41:53,667
Tomorrow.
763
00:41:54,708 --> 00:41:58,375
How about going back to my room
for a few drinks?
764
00:41:58,458 --> 00:42:00,000
Sounds good to me.
765
00:42:04,417 --> 00:42:06,333
I'm starting to have second thoughts.
766
00:42:06,417 --> 00:42:07,375
Shh.
767
00:42:11,417 --> 00:42:12,458
Hey, Brady.
768
00:42:12,542 --> 00:42:13,708
Sorry.
769
00:42:13,750 --> 00:42:16,625
Fellows. Don't stay up too late.
We open tomor...
770
00:42:16,708 --> 00:42:17,667
- row.
- Mm-hmm.
771
00:42:17,750 --> 00:42:19,292
What's in the bag?
772
00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:23,042
- Shoes.
- Laundry.
773
00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:25,333
- Laundry.
- Shoes.
774
00:42:25,417 --> 00:42:26,542
- Shoes.
- Laundry.
775
00:42:26,583 --> 00:42:31,042
- Laundry.
- Shoes.
776
00:42:31,125 --> 00:42:33,583
Uh, dirty shoe laundry. Heh.
777
00:42:33,667 --> 00:42:34,625
Heh.
778
00:42:44,583 --> 00:42:46,042
So how do we kill it?
779
00:42:46,125 --> 00:42:47,625
Kind of cute, don't you think?
780
00:42:47,708 --> 00:42:48,625
Stay focused, Wang.
781
00:42:48,708 --> 00:42:50,125
Do we have anything poisonous?
782
00:42:50,208 --> 00:42:51,333
We can't poison Choo Choo.
783
00:42:51,417 --> 00:42:52,833
We gotta kill it somehow.
784
00:42:52,917 --> 00:42:54,917
Don't think of it as a monkey.
785
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,333
Think of him as drugs.
786
00:42:59,250 --> 00:43:00,250
- Aww.
- Aww.
787
00:43:00,292 --> 00:43:03,667
Look at that. He looks like a little stoner.
788
00:43:03,750 --> 00:43:04,917
Puff, puff, pass, Choo Choo.
789
00:43:23,583 --> 00:43:27,000
Hey, hey, hey.
Rise and shine, sugar crotch.
790
00:43:27,083 --> 00:43:28,833
My God, Stukas.
791
00:43:28,917 --> 00:43:31,333
We didn't do anything last night?
792
00:43:31,417 --> 00:43:33,875
Other than humping, not really.
793
00:43:33,917 --> 00:43:36,917
All right, come on.
Time for you to get out of here.
794
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,500
I got another girl wantin' a good Stukin'
comin' over here in ten minutes.
795
00:43:39,583 --> 00:43:40,750
Where are my clothes?
796
00:43:40,833 --> 00:43:42,458
Uh, how should I know?
You weren't wearing anything...
797
00:43:42,542 --> 00:43:44,208
when you showed up at my door last night.
798
00:43:44,250 --> 00:43:45,208
What?
799
00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:46,500
- Anytime, Gerri.
- Wait.
800
00:43:46,583 --> 00:43:48,500
You're welcome.
801
00:43:53,583 --> 00:43:54,625
Morning, boys.
802
00:43:54,708 --> 00:43:55,625
What's up?
803
00:43:55,708 --> 00:43:58,000
What the hell is that thing?
804
00:43:58,083 --> 00:43:59,875
His name is Choo Choo.
We were gonna kill him and smoke him.
805
00:43:59,917 --> 00:44:01,333
Now we're teaching him how to play Xbox.
806
00:44:01,417 --> 00:44:03,542
Yeah, and he totally sucks at it.
807
00:44:03,583 --> 00:44:04,542
What's up, dude?
808
00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:07,458
I just need to use Wang's computer
to download these photos.
809
00:44:07,542 --> 00:44:09,750
You guys have got to see these.
810
00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:15,042
Come on, follow me, Choo Choo.
811
00:44:15,083 --> 00:44:16,708
Hey, where'd Choo Choo go?
812
00:44:16,750 --> 00:44:17,708
I 'on't 'ow.
813
00:44:17,750 --> 00:44:19,042
Wang, dude, monkey gone.
814
00:44:19,083 --> 00:44:20,042
Oh, shit.
815
00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:21,042
- Choo Choo!
- Here, monkey!
816
00:44:21,083 --> 00:44:22,042
- Choo Choo!
- Choo Choo!
817
00:44:22,083 --> 00:44:23,042
Here, Choo Choo.
818
00:44:23,083 --> 00:44:24,042
- Choo Choo!
- Here, monkey.
819
00:44:24,083 --> 00:44:25,375
Gerri, are you naked?
820
00:44:25,417 --> 00:44:27,958
Ms. Farber! My word.
821
00:44:28,042 --> 00:44:29,833
This girl appears to have lost her clothes.
822
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,292
Do I want to know
the explanation behind this?
823
00:44:32,375 --> 00:44:35,167
Yes. I was in...
824
00:44:35,250 --> 00:44:37,000
my friend's room, and, uh...
825
00:44:37,083 --> 00:44:40,250
Well, good morning,
Dean Dryer, Captain Bunkley.
826
00:44:40,333 --> 00:44:41,750
I was just on my way to the library.
827
00:44:41,833 --> 00:44:44,917
You know, catch up on my studies
for next semester.
828
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,083
Uh, Gerri.
829
00:44:46,167 --> 00:44:47,667
What happened to you? Did...
830
00:44:47,750 --> 00:44:49,625
did you fall overboard?
831
00:44:49,708 --> 00:44:53,375
Well, it seems I may have been wrong
about the two of you.
832
00:44:56,583 --> 00:44:59,792
The problem is
is I gotta find the right mood...
833
00:44:59,875 --> 00:45:03,125
but I don't know
what the right mood should be.
834
00:45:03,208 --> 00:45:05,667
Get some candles, some soft music...
835
00:45:05,750 --> 00:45:07,708
maybe some colored lights.
836
00:45:07,750 --> 00:45:08,833
Porn.
837
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:11,875
Actually, that's not a bad idea.
838
00:45:11,917 --> 00:45:13,167
You know, nothing hard-core.
839
00:45:13,250 --> 00:45:14,625
Maybe some soft stuff.
840
00:45:14,708 --> 00:45:16,667
Just get the images in her head.
841
00:45:16,750 --> 00:45:18,708
Where am I gonna find porn on the ship?
842
00:45:18,750 --> 00:45:20,625
Whoa.
843
00:45:24,750 --> 00:45:25,875
That's a lot of porn.
844
00:45:25,917 --> 00:45:28,167
Are you kidding me?
This is just my travel kit.
845
00:45:28,250 --> 00:45:31,833
Um, OK, so something soft...
846
00:45:31,917 --> 00:45:33,958
romantic...
847
00:45:34,042 --> 00:45:35,875
no penetration shots, I'm assuming.
848
00:45:35,917 --> 00:45:38,750
Oh.
849
00:45:38,833 --> 00:45:41,792
Captain Bluebush.
850
00:45:44,917 --> 00:45:47,500
Fuck, yeah, dude.
I might actually get that grant.
851
00:45:47,583 --> 00:45:49,208
Gerri is gonna go down.
852
00:45:50,375 --> 00:45:52,333
Choo Choo!
853
00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:54,833
What is... what's up, dude?
854
00:45:54,917 --> 00:45:57,167
What do you got?
855
00:45:57,250 --> 00:45:58,375
What is this?
856
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,333
Holy shit.
857
00:46:02,417 --> 00:46:05,042
Some sunglasses.
858
00:46:05,125 --> 00:46:06,125
A thumb drive.
859
00:46:06,208 --> 00:46:07,625
Dude, cash.
860
00:46:07,708 --> 00:46:09,167
Did you steal this shit?
861
00:46:09,250 --> 00:46:11,250
Bad Choo Choo. Bad klepto monkey.
862
00:46:11,333 --> 00:46:13,333
No, no, no, no. Wait a minute.
863
00:46:13,417 --> 00:46:16,625
I have wanted a thumb drive,
and these sunglasses are badass.
864
00:46:16,708 --> 00:46:18,042
Good Choo Choo.
865
00:46:18,125 --> 00:46:21,167
You know what? Go steal some more shit.
866
00:46:23,250 --> 00:46:25,000
Come share my bath.
867
00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:27,917
Come on.
868
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,583
After you.
869
00:46:41,542 --> 00:46:44,250
You know, I have, uh...
870
00:46:44,333 --> 00:46:47,458
wanted this... ah heh...
871
00:46:47,542 --> 00:46:49,125
for so long.
872
00:46:52,417 --> 00:46:53,333
So...
873
00:46:55,542 --> 00:46:56,458
So...
874
00:46:56,542 --> 00:46:57,500
- so...
- Ohh!
875
00:46:57,583 --> 00:46:58,833
Jeez! Are you OK?!
876
00:46:58,917 --> 00:47:00,500
I'm just a little nervous.
877
00:47:00,583 --> 00:47:03,500
I'm sorry. I know. I'm a little nervous, too.
878
00:47:03,583 --> 00:47:04,667
Um, wait.
879
00:47:04,750 --> 00:47:06,375
I've got the perfect thing.
880
00:47:07,958 --> 00:47:09,625
- A movie?
- Yeah.
881
00:47:09,708 --> 00:47:11,333
This'll break the ice, huh?
882
00:47:14,583 --> 00:47:19,833
One romantic movie coming right up.
883
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:25,917
OK.
884
00:47:28,792 --> 00:47:30,375
OK.
885
00:47:30,458 --> 00:47:32,000
- Ready?
- Mm-hmm.
886
00:47:35,167 --> 00:47:38,292
Honey, come on.
Everyone's gettin' really hungry.
887
00:47:51,208 --> 00:47:53,417
Ahoy there, matey.
888
00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:57,333
I'm Captain Bluebush,
Slut of the Seven Seas.
889
00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:00,292
I've come for your jewels...
890
00:48:00,375 --> 00:48:02,417
family jewels.
891
00:48:02,500 --> 00:48:03,708
Ooh.
892
00:48:07,083 --> 00:48:09,000
Ohh! That's it now.
893
00:48:09,083 --> 00:48:10,208
Ohh!
894
00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:12,583
This isn't romantic. Oh, my God.
895
00:48:12,667 --> 00:48:13,875
What are... eww. Uh...
896
00:48:13,917 --> 00:48:16,292
This is disgusting, Newmar.
What kind of girl do you think I am?
897
00:48:16,375 --> 00:48:18,042
No, no, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
898
00:48:18,083 --> 00:48:19,500
What the... what button is this?
899
00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:30,042
God, he can be such an asshole.
900
00:48:30,083 --> 00:48:32,542
I can't believe you did it with Stukas.
901
00:48:32,583 --> 00:48:34,083
I thought you hated him.
902
00:48:34,167 --> 00:48:35,750
Lynne, Gerri loses all self-control...
903
00:48:35,833 --> 00:48:38,083
when she's got alcohol in her system.
904
00:48:38,167 --> 00:48:40,083
It's like she's a maniac.
905
00:48:40,167 --> 00:48:41,417
I feel like shit.
906
00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:42,542
Ohh.
907
00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:45,667
Don't tell anyone about this, you guys.
908
00:48:45,750 --> 00:48:46,792
- Promise.
- Promise.
909
00:48:48,417 --> 00:48:51,417
Hey, Gerri, ohh.
910
00:48:51,500 --> 00:48:53,750
You poor thing. You look like crap.
911
00:48:53,833 --> 00:48:57,542
Here. I thought you could use
a little hair of the dog.
912
00:48:57,583 --> 00:48:58,792
There's booze in that?
913
00:48:58,875 --> 00:48:59,792
Well...
914
00:48:59,875 --> 00:49:01,833
uh, not so much.
915
00:49:01,917 --> 00:49:03,333
I call it the Rusty remedy.
916
00:49:03,417 --> 00:49:04,708
It's a morning drink.
917
00:49:04,750 --> 00:49:05,833
Nice try.
918
00:49:05,917 --> 00:49:06,875
Ohh!
919
00:49:10,042 --> 00:49:11,625
Ohh!
920
00:49:11,708 --> 00:49:13,292
There was Everclear in there!
921
00:49:13,375 --> 00:49:14,958
Oh, my God! My eyes!
922
00:49:15,042 --> 00:49:16,708
I'm sorry, OK?
923
00:49:16,792 --> 00:49:20,042
Um, look. I know what we need to do.
924
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:24,208
We need to get you back in the mood, OK?
925
00:49:24,250 --> 00:49:26,458
- OK.
- So lie back down...
926
00:49:26,542 --> 00:49:31,458
and I work a little magic.
927
00:49:38,042 --> 00:49:39,750
Where are you taking me, Booker?
928
00:49:39,833 --> 00:49:41,750
The gym. It's the closest shower.
929
00:49:41,833 --> 00:49:43,833
You need to wash out your eye.
930
00:49:43,917 --> 00:49:46,083
Oh, thank you. You're so good to me.
931
00:49:46,167 --> 00:49:48,625
Oh, my God, this hurt... what if I'm blind?
932
00:49:48,708 --> 00:49:50,333
- What if I'm blind?!
- You're n...
933
00:49:50,417 --> 00:49:52,875
The rest of my life as a blind man?!
934
00:49:52,917 --> 00:49:54,542
You know what? You know what?
935
00:49:54,625 --> 00:49:57,083
I'll... I'll catch up with you in a sec, bud.
936
00:49:57,167 --> 00:50:00,000
Uh... uh...
937
00:50:00,083 --> 00:50:01,500
I...
938
00:50:34,708 --> 00:50:36,375
All right, people, I know you all want...
939
00:50:36,417 --> 00:50:38,208
to stare at my impressive meat...
940
00:50:38,250 --> 00:50:41,333
but try to show a little restraint, shall we?
941
00:50:46,250 --> 00:50:48,750
Ah, ah, come on.
942
00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:50,833
Hey!
943
00:50:50,917 --> 00:50:51,875
How's it going?
944
00:50:51,917 --> 00:50:54,000
Hey, asshole, remember me?
945
00:50:54,083 --> 00:50:55,875
Aw, nah.
946
00:50:56,917 --> 00:50:57,833
Aw, not you again.
947
00:50:57,917 --> 00:50:58,833
Move it, bitch!
948
00:50:58,917 --> 00:50:59,833
Don't do that!
949
00:50:59,917 --> 00:51:01,667
Get outta here!
950
00:51:01,750 --> 00:51:03,458
Move it!
951
00:51:03,542 --> 00:51:05,458
Get him! Go!
952
00:51:05,542 --> 00:51:07,167
Don't fuck with Olga.
953
00:51:07,250 --> 00:51:08,875
Whoa, now. Down, girl.
954
00:51:08,917 --> 00:51:10,958
Come to mama, you little dickless wonder.
955
00:51:11,042 --> 00:51:13,542
Come on! Bring it on!
956
00:51:39,125 --> 00:51:42,167
Stay out of here, you little prick!
957
00:51:46,542 --> 00:51:48,125
Oh, my God. What was that?
958
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:51,458
No! Don't look!
959
00:51:51,542 --> 00:51:53,125
That came from Violet's room.
960
00:51:54,167 --> 00:51:55,917
Aah! Help, Booker!
961
00:51:56,958 --> 00:51:59,375
What is going on in here?
962
00:51:59,417 --> 00:52:00,375
Haven't you ever heard of knocking?
963
00:52:00,417 --> 00:52:01,500
- We'll save you.
- Rape!
964
00:52:03,042 --> 00:52:04,083
What are you guys doing?
965
00:52:04,167 --> 00:52:05,167
What are you guys doing?
966
00:52:05,250 --> 00:52:06,750
- Booker!
- Hold on.
967
00:52:06,833 --> 00:52:09,083
Dude, pull me up. Help! Ohh.
968
00:52:09,167 --> 00:52:10,458
- Eww.
- What is that?
969
00:52:10,542 --> 00:52:11,667
Somebody help me!
970
00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:12,667
Aah!
971
00:52:12,750 --> 00:52:13,958
Would everyone just leave?
972
00:52:14,042 --> 00:52:16,875
You two had better not be doing
what it is most obvious you were doing.
973
00:52:16,917 --> 00:52:18,625
Did you guys hear a horn?
974
00:52:18,708 --> 00:52:20,125
Oh, crap. Is that Rusty?
975
00:52:20,208 --> 00:52:21,542
Don't let go. Is he naked?
976
00:52:21,583 --> 00:52:23,833
What is all this screaming about?
977
00:52:23,917 --> 00:52:25,125
- Hey, a butt.
- Ooh.
978
00:52:25,208 --> 00:52:26,167
I'm getting the camera.
979
00:52:26,250 --> 00:52:27,833
I can't get leverage.
980
00:52:27,917 --> 00:52:28,875
We need more people!
981
00:52:28,917 --> 00:52:30,208
No, don't call over more people!
982
00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:31,500
What's going on here?
That looks dangerous.
983
00:52:31,583 --> 00:52:32,500
Pull me up!
984
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:33,500
Who gave you permission?
985
00:52:33,583 --> 00:52:34,625
Is that Rusty?
986
00:52:34,708 --> 00:52:36,375
Would you just get out?
987
00:52:36,417 --> 00:52:37,625
Oh! Oh, yeah!
988
00:52:37,708 --> 00:52:38,708
What channel's this?
989
00:52:40,583 --> 00:52:42,125
Newmar, tell them to leave.
990
00:52:42,208 --> 00:52:43,792
What?! I can't hear anything!
991
00:52:43,875 --> 00:52:46,125
Po-mo girls are comin' over.
We'll have you up in no time.
992
00:52:46,208 --> 00:52:47,667
No! Not the po-mo girls!
993
00:52:47,750 --> 00:52:49,250
What's with the candles and flowers?
994
00:52:49,333 --> 00:52:51,833
Hey, wait a minute.
Were you and Newmar gonna do it?
995
00:52:51,917 --> 00:52:53,417
- What?!
- Nice.
996
00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:55,417
Just let me die. Let me die.
997
00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:57,625
Pull! And pull!
998
00:52:57,708 --> 00:53:00,292
And pull! And pull!
999
00:53:00,375 --> 00:53:03,417
And pull!
1000
00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:11,875
And pull! And pull!
1001
00:53:12,208 --> 00:53:15,375
And pull! And pull!
1002
00:53:16,583 --> 00:53:18,208
Professor Cavendish?
1003
00:53:18,250 --> 00:53:20,333
It's Robin.
1004
00:53:20,417 --> 00:53:22,708
I know you're in there, Rex.
1005
00:53:22,750 --> 00:53:23,708
Open up...
1006
00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:35,708
Ohh!
1007
00:53:35,750 --> 00:53:37,167
Looks like your boyfriend left the boat.
1008
00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:38,542
Dante, what are you doing here?
1009
00:53:38,583 --> 00:53:40,125
And wh-what do you mean,
"my boyfriend"?
1010
00:53:40,208 --> 00:53:41,750
I know about you and Cavendish...
1011
00:53:41,833 --> 00:53:43,833
and it's gross. He's old...
1012
00:53:43,917 --> 00:53:45,833
and he's such a pompous jackass.
1013
00:53:45,917 --> 00:53:47,333
What makes you think he left the boat?
1014
00:53:47,417 --> 00:53:49,292
Well, the door was unlocked,
but he wasn't here.
1015
00:53:49,375 --> 00:53:51,250
Looks like he packed and left in a hurry.
1016
00:53:51,333 --> 00:53:52,500
Forget about him, Robin.
1017
00:53:52,583 --> 00:53:55,292
You know I'm the one who really loves you.
1018
00:53:55,375 --> 00:53:57,500
I need to go. Yeah.
1019
00:53:57,583 --> 00:54:00,208
I love you, and with Cavendish
out of the way...
1020
00:54:00,292 --> 00:54:01,583
we can finally be together.
1021
00:54:01,667 --> 00:54:02,625
Kiss me, Robin.
1022
00:54:02,708 --> 00:54:03,958
Get off of me, Dante!
1023
00:54:04,042 --> 00:54:06,958
Why?! Why not me?!
1024
00:54:08,042 --> 00:54:10,000
I'll see you at rehearsal, OK?
1025
00:54:10,083 --> 00:54:13,000
We should, uh, concentrate on the play.
1026
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:14,542
Whoo!
1027
00:54:15,583 --> 00:54:17,792
I'll concentrate on the play.
1028
00:54:19,583 --> 00:54:20,875
Missing, you say?
1029
00:54:20,917 --> 00:54:24,292
Yeah. I, uh, went to go look for him in his...
1030
00:54:24,375 --> 00:54:25,625
during his office hours...
1031
00:54:25,708 --> 00:54:27,958
and, um, he's never been late before.
1032
00:54:28,042 --> 00:54:29,875
Well, he said nothing to me.
1033
00:54:29,917 --> 00:54:31,875
But knowing him, it wouldn't surprise me...
1034
00:54:31,917 --> 00:54:33,875
if he didn't stay onshore.
1035
00:54:33,917 --> 00:54:36,875
I'll place some calls.
1036
00:55:15,250 --> 00:55:17,875
That's Rusty's hat. He likes leaving it there.
1037
00:55:19,417 --> 00:55:22,375
Hey, Wang,
your monkey's fucking with my shit.
1038
00:55:22,417 --> 00:55:24,292
Are you even allowed
to have that on the ship?
1039
00:55:24,375 --> 00:55:25,500
I mean, what if he starts...
1040
00:55:25,583 --> 00:55:26,500
shitting everywhere?
1041
00:55:26,583 --> 00:55:28,083
What if I start shitting everywhere?
1042
00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:32,958
Ah. Now he's got one of the diamonds.
1043
00:55:33,042 --> 00:55:34,333
Come here, buddy.
1044
00:55:34,417 --> 00:55:37,708
Now, Choo Choo,
please give me the diamond. Thank you.
1045
00:55:41,917 --> 00:55:42,917
See?
1046
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,708
Robin, Robin, I am sorry...
1047
00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:46,708
but I just... I have to drop out the play.
1048
00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:48,333
Drop out? The play starts in a few hours.
1049
00:55:48,417 --> 00:55:49,458
Th-there are no understudies.
1050
00:55:49,542 --> 00:55:50,792
I'll help out any way I can...
1051
00:55:50,875 --> 00:55:53,333
but I'm just too embarrassed
to go onstage.
1052
00:55:53,417 --> 00:55:54,375
Violet, wait!
1053
00:55:54,417 --> 00:55:55,458
OK, this isn't happening. OK?
1054
00:55:55,542 --> 00:55:57,000
I'm gonna have to play her part.
1055
00:55:57,083 --> 00:55:58,417
No one else knows her lines.
1056
00:55:58,500 --> 00:55:59,875
I do.
1057
00:55:59,917 --> 00:56:02,917
I have the whole play memorized.
1058
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:03,917
Ha ha ha ha!
1059
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,125
Look, I'll buy the photos from you.
1060
00:56:06,208 --> 00:56:09,000
It's too late, Rusty.
They're already on my blog.
1061
00:56:09,083 --> 00:56:10,333
Come on, you guys!
1062
00:56:10,417 --> 00:56:11,667
This really isn't necessary.
1063
00:56:11,750 --> 00:56:13,000
Newmar, yes, it is.
1064
00:56:13,083 --> 00:56:15,000
How am I supposed to walk in these?
1065
00:56:15,083 --> 00:56:17,458
Well, that's what you get
for having such big feet.
1066
00:56:17,542 --> 00:56:19,708
It's all I could find in a size fourteen.
1067
00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:20,917
I look like a stripper.
1068
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:21,917
Well, strip.
1069
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,833
Hey... oh, I need you.
1070
00:56:23,875 --> 00:56:24,917
Mmm!
1071
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,917
So Rachel is playing Violet's role?
1072
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,250
Don't you have to kiss that character?
1073
00:56:29,333 --> 00:56:30,250
That'll be weird.
1074
00:56:30,333 --> 00:56:32,542
Hey...
1075
00:56:32,583 --> 00:56:36,458
this DVD is totally disgusting.
1076
00:56:36,542 --> 00:56:39,667
If Violet didn't find this romantic, Newmar...
1077
00:56:39,750 --> 00:56:41,375
it wasn't meant to be.
1078
00:56:42,708 --> 00:56:45,875
I'm gonna have to alter the entire costume.
1079
00:56:45,917 --> 00:56:47,500
Make it happen, foosball.
1080
00:56:47,583 --> 00:56:49,833
Violet, psst, we really need to talk.
1081
00:56:49,875 --> 00:56:50,833
No, Newmar.
1082
00:56:50,875 --> 00:56:52,208
What?!
1083
00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:53,208
Uhh!
1084
00:56:53,292 --> 00:56:54,625
Has Stukas showed up yet?
1085
00:56:54,708 --> 00:56:58,250
Uh, not yet, but I'll go check backstage.
1086
00:56:58,333 --> 00:56:59,458
Asshole.
1087
00:56:59,542 --> 00:57:01,083
After this drink...
1088
00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:03,417
what do you say we go back to my room?
1089
00:57:03,500 --> 00:57:04,833
Houselights down!
1090
00:57:04,875 --> 00:57:06,250
Mike, bring the house down.
1091
00:57:06,333 --> 00:57:08,417
Did you find a way to secure those lights?
1092
00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:10,125
Yeah, I did it this morning, chief.
1093
00:57:10,208 --> 00:57:12,125
Got it locked in there but good.
1094
00:57:13,750 --> 00:57:14,917
Let's complete the run-through.
1095
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,167
Let's take it from the top without Stukas.
1096
00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:19,125
I am so frightened.
1097
00:57:19,208 --> 00:57:22,875
The murderer could still be amongst us.
1098
00:57:22,917 --> 00:57:24,125
Dios m�o.
1099
00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:27,583
Oh, Colonel, I shall never feel safe again.
1100
00:57:27,667 --> 00:57:31,167
Fear not, miss. For I, Colonel Kroog...
1101
00:57:31,250 --> 00:57:33,958
will make sure that you are safe.
1102
00:57:34,042 --> 00:57:36,583
Oh, Colonel, you're so brave.
1103
00:57:36,667 --> 00:57:37,833
Come on, guys.
1104
00:57:37,875 --> 00:57:40,417
Whatever the two of you
are going through personally...
1105
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:41,583
I don't care.
1106
00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:44,208
In less than an hour,
these seats will be filled.
1107
00:57:44,292 --> 00:57:45,625
So kiss already.
1108
00:57:45,708 --> 00:57:46,625
Go!
1109
00:57:46,708 --> 00:57:48,250
You must be enjoying this.
1110
00:57:48,333 --> 00:57:50,542
Can we just get this over with?
1111
00:57:50,625 --> 00:57:53,042
Rusty, the kiss is your cue.
1112
00:57:54,167 --> 00:57:55,292
Uh...
1113
00:57:55,375 --> 00:57:57,458
what's everyone just standin' around for...
1114
00:57:57,542 --> 00:57:59,792
when there's a mystery to solve?
1115
00:57:59,875 --> 00:58:00,917
Now, uh...
1116
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:02,833
Constance, you were...
1117
00:58:02,875 --> 00:58:05,000
standin' by the fireplace with the fire poker.
1118
00:58:05,042 --> 00:58:06,125
No, Rusty. It's, "Constance...
1119
00:58:06,208 --> 00:58:08,458
"you were standing by the bay window...
1120
00:58:08,542 --> 00:58:09,625
"holding a candlestick. "
1121
00:58:09,708 --> 00:58:11,625
Rusty, remember
when you're telling everyone...
1122
00:58:11,708 --> 00:58:13,458
where they were
and what they were holding...
1123
00:58:13,542 --> 00:58:15,458
you have to give 'em the item.
1124
00:58:15,542 --> 00:58:18,625
Robin, why do you insist
that we do this scene...
1125
00:58:18,708 --> 00:58:21,625
when you know that I don't know my lines?
1126
00:58:21,708 --> 00:58:23,417
You promised, Rusty.
1127
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,958
If it makes you feel better, Robin...
1128
00:58:25,042 --> 00:58:27,000
I've been practicing carrying the jewel.
1129
00:58:29,750 --> 00:58:31,333
You wanna go run lines?
1130
00:58:31,417 --> 00:58:34,250
No. I'm gonna go rub one out.
1131
00:58:34,333 --> 00:58:35,917
Anybody see my catcher's mitt?
1132
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,292
Booker, do I hand you the drink...
1133
00:58:38,375 --> 00:58:41,625
before or after you start telling me
about the war?
1134
00:58:41,708 --> 00:58:43,292
Oh. Um...
1135
00:58:43,375 --> 00:58:46,417
before, because you sit down...
1136
00:58:46,500 --> 00:58:48,750
during his line about the sinking ship.
1137
00:58:48,833 --> 00:58:49,917
Duh.
1138
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,792
Thanks. Great.
1139
00:58:52,875 --> 00:58:55,458
That's pretty cool
you memorized the whole play.
1140
00:58:55,542 --> 00:58:58,125
It's great having a photographic memory.
1141
00:59:21,375 --> 00:59:22,917
Ahoy there, matey.
1142
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,917
I'm Captain Bluebush,
Slut of the Seven Seas...
1143
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,208
and I've come for your jewels,
family jewels.
1144
00:59:29,250 --> 00:59:31,333
Shove it harder. Yes.
1145
00:59:33,875 --> 00:59:35,833
Oh, yeah! Ohh!
1146
00:59:35,875 --> 00:59:38,542
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Spank me, you dirty pirate.
1147
00:59:40,417 --> 00:59:42,375
Oh, come on, yes.
1148
00:59:47,167 --> 00:59:49,000
And sink your ship in my treasure chest.
1149
00:59:49,042 --> 00:59:50,417
- Ohh!
- Yes!
1150
00:59:52,750 --> 00:59:54,500
Oh, yes. Ohh!
1151
00:59:54,583 --> 00:59:56,833
Ohh! Oh, God.
1152
01:00:10,125 --> 01:00:11,250
What is it?
1153
01:00:11,333 --> 01:00:14,583
Hi. I'd just like a word with you,
Mrs. Bunkley.
1154
01:00:14,667 --> 01:00:15,958
- I'm busy.
- Or should I call you...
1155
01:00:16,042 --> 01:00:18,000
Captain Bluebush?
1156
01:00:18,042 --> 01:00:19,042
Shit.
1157
01:00:20,417 --> 01:00:22,417
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
1158
01:00:22,500 --> 01:00:24,583
You're Summer Solstice, the porn star.
1159
01:00:24,667 --> 01:00:26,000
Wh-what do you want?
1160
01:00:26,042 --> 01:00:28,542
Well, if you don't want everyone
on this ship...
1161
01:00:28,583 --> 01:00:31,167
including your husband,
to know your little secret...
1162
01:00:31,250 --> 01:00:34,167
I will be requiring certain favors.
1163
01:00:34,208 --> 01:00:35,167
Like what?
1164
01:00:35,208 --> 01:00:37,500
Well, I... I saw you do this thing one time...
1165
01:00:37,583 --> 01:00:40,375
where you, uh, put your leg
behind your head...
1166
01:00:40,417 --> 01:00:41,500
Guatemalan face hat.
1167
01:00:41,583 --> 01:00:43,167
You're pushing it.
1168
01:00:43,208 --> 01:00:45,500
OK, OK, fine. Just, um, plain sex then...
1169
01:00:45,583 --> 01:00:46,542
missionary.
1170
01:00:46,625 --> 01:00:48,167
- You...
- Come on!
1171
01:00:48,208 --> 01:00:50,042
I mean, I'm a virgin here, for Christ's sake.
1172
01:00:50,125 --> 01:00:51,542
Nuns have had more sex than me!
1173
01:00:51,583 --> 01:00:54,333
OK! Look I mean,
I guess you're kind of cute.
1174
01:00:54,417 --> 01:00:56,292
All right, let's get this goin'.
1175
01:00:56,375 --> 01:00:57,417
Hello, my sweet.
1176
01:00:57,500 --> 01:00:59,792
My husband.
1177
01:00:59,875 --> 01:01:01,250
Honey.
1178
01:01:01,333 --> 01:01:04,833
Hi. I wasn't expecting you so soon.
1179
01:01:04,875 --> 01:01:06,500
Well, I really need to take a shower...
1180
01:01:06,583 --> 01:01:08,292
before I attend this evening's performance.
1181
01:01:08,375 --> 01:01:11,167
Oh, no. Heh heh. You smell just fine.
1182
01:01:11,208 --> 01:01:12,167
Find your own spot.
1183
01:01:12,208 --> 01:01:13,833
What the fuck are you doing here?
1184
01:01:13,875 --> 01:01:15,542
I was fucking the captain's wife
until your ass showed up.
1185
01:01:15,625 --> 01:01:17,417
Get the fuck out.
1186
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:20,000
Why don't we, um... take me now, Captain!
1187
01:01:20,083 --> 01:01:21,417
I need you.
1188
01:01:21,500 --> 01:01:24,000
Uh, well, I suppose I have a... a little time.
1189
01:01:24,083 --> 01:01:25,042
- I...
- Yes.
1190
01:01:25,083 --> 01:01:27,042
How about we take a shower together?
1191
01:01:27,125 --> 01:01:28,083
Oh!
1192
01:01:33,042 --> 01:01:35,750
Oh! Why, this water is freezing.
1193
01:01:35,833 --> 01:01:38,000
I mean, my goodness, that's cold.
1194
01:01:38,042 --> 01:01:40,667
Ha ha. What a day, I tell you. I'm exhausted.
1195
01:01:40,750 --> 01:01:41,667
- Uh...
- Yeah.
1196
01:01:41,750 --> 01:01:43,500
Uh, I better get a fresh towel.
1197
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:47,083
Thank you.
1198
01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:52,292
I caught a pervert!
1199
01:01:53,333 --> 01:01:54,833
Listen, she invited me.
1200
01:01:54,917 --> 01:01:57,000
How dare you accuse my wife
of such a thing?
1201
01:01:57,042 --> 01:01:59,917
You're in for the beating of your life,
young man.
1202
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,000
I'll have you know I was champion...
1203
01:02:02,042 --> 01:02:05,333
of my weight class in the Navy
two years running.
1204
01:02:05,417 --> 01:02:07,125
Listen, old man, I don't wanna...
1205
01:02:07,208 --> 01:02:08,833
insult my wife, will you?
1206
01:02:08,875 --> 01:02:09,833
Come back at 8:40.
1207
01:02:09,875 --> 01:02:11,708
My husband will be at that stupid play.
1208
01:02:11,750 --> 01:02:13,125
But I'm in that stupid play.
1209
01:02:13,208 --> 01:02:14,125
It's 8:40 or never.
1210
01:02:14,208 --> 01:02:15,583
Do I get some Guatemalan face hat?
1211
01:02:15,667 --> 01:02:16,833
Out.
1212
01:02:16,875 --> 01:02:19,958
Honey, you should probably call
the ship's doctor.
1213
01:02:20,042 --> 01:02:23,000
I'm almost done savaging
this Peeping Tom.
1214
01:02:24,708 --> 01:02:26,667
All right, here we go.
1215
01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:28,083
Yeah. OK.
1216
01:02:28,167 --> 01:02:29,417
Unh! Ow! It hurts.
1217
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:31,375
Look, do you wanna look beautiful...
1218
01:02:31,417 --> 01:02:33,917
or do you wanna look like a cow?
1219
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,042
OK, here we go.
1220
01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:37,625
Oh, God. I have to be back
to try on my costume.
1221
01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:38,667
No.
1222
01:02:38,750 --> 01:02:40,417
Put 'em back on. Put 'em back on.
1223
01:02:42,375 --> 01:02:45,833
Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely looking at you.
1224
01:02:45,917 --> 01:02:49,083
Oh, yeah?
Well, I've always been the hot one.
1225
01:02:49,167 --> 01:02:51,875
Yeah. If anyone was in love with anyone...
1226
01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:53,875
it was definitely you with me.
1227
01:02:53,958 --> 01:02:56,083
Excuse me?!
1228
01:02:56,167 --> 01:02:58,208
If there is a hot one, I am the hot one.
1229
01:02:58,292 --> 01:02:59,875
You are the stupid one.
1230
01:02:59,958 --> 01:03:02,875
Girls, girls,
you are both the stupid one, OK?
1231
01:03:02,958 --> 01:03:05,542
Now, come on. I have to finish your hair.
1232
01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:09,167
Places, people. First places.
1233
01:03:09,208 --> 01:03:11,250
Mike, you ready up there?
1234
01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:12,542
Mike?
1235
01:03:12,750 --> 01:03:13,708
Mike!
1236
01:03:13,792 --> 01:03:14,750
What?
1237
01:03:14,833 --> 01:03:17,500
What are you doing?
We start in ten minutes.
1238
01:03:17,583 --> 01:03:19,042
Get in the light booth.
1239
01:03:19,125 --> 01:03:20,042
Everything's all set.
1240
01:03:20,125 --> 01:03:21,083
Now!
1241
01:03:24,292 --> 01:03:26,333
Are you wet?
1242
01:03:26,417 --> 01:03:29,000
Why are you wet, Rusty?
1243
01:03:29,083 --> 01:03:31,917
Dry! Dry! Now go! Go! Go!
1244
01:03:33,125 --> 01:03:35,875
Stukas! You weren't at run-through today.
1245
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,083
Are you drinking?
1246
01:03:40,167 --> 01:03:41,750
Ah, don't spray your panties.
1247
01:03:41,833 --> 01:03:43,750
I got all my lines down.
1248
01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:45,000
Swig?
1249
01:03:56,375 --> 01:03:59,292
So can I expect another visit
from you tonight?
1250
01:03:59,375 --> 01:04:02,750
That is never happening again.
1251
01:04:02,792 --> 01:04:05,625
Never, ever. Never, ever.
1252
01:04:07,250 --> 01:04:09,750
Well, I'll always have the photos.
1253
01:04:12,125 --> 01:04:15,250
She's got blonde hair,
and she's sitting in the back row.
1254
01:04:15,333 --> 01:04:16,667
This stuff tastes weird.
1255
01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:19,083
Ha ha! That's because there's booze in it.
1256
01:04:19,125 --> 01:04:21,125
Let's see,
you were first caught naked in a hallway...
1257
01:04:21,167 --> 01:04:22,833
and now you'll be drunk onstage.
1258
01:04:22,917 --> 01:04:24,208
The grant's mine. Heh.
1259
01:04:24,292 --> 01:04:25,417
Good day, madam.
1260
01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:28,042
Fuck!
1261
01:04:30,792 --> 01:04:33,375
Yo, D-bag, what'd you do with my hat?
1262
01:04:33,458 --> 01:04:35,125
Mm, I guess someone stole it.
1263
01:04:35,208 --> 01:04:38,333
That's what you get for leaving it
on the prop table.
1264
01:04:38,417 --> 01:04:39,750
Oh, my God, you pud-whacker.
1265
01:04:39,833 --> 01:04:41,750
I know you did something with it.
1266
01:04:46,292 --> 01:04:48,167
Yo, hey, everyone, gather round. Come on.
1267
01:04:48,250 --> 01:04:50,292
Guys, let's gather round. Come on.
1268
01:04:50,375 --> 01:04:51,833
Come on.
1269
01:04:51,917 --> 01:04:54,000
Come on. Come on.
1270
01:04:54,083 --> 01:04:55,292
Come on.
1271
01:04:55,375 --> 01:04:58,542
Now, I know we've all worked really hard...
1272
01:04:58,625 --> 01:05:00,583
for the last few months, and at this point...
1273
01:05:00,667 --> 01:05:02,458
I really don't care
about winning the contest...
1274
01:05:02,542 --> 01:05:03,708
and neither should you.
1275
01:05:03,792 --> 01:05:07,167
The only thing that you guys
should be concentrating on...
1276
01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:11,708
is remembering your motherfucking lines
and your cues.
1277
01:05:11,792 --> 01:05:14,250
OK. So, um, break a leg.
1278
01:05:14,292 --> 01:05:17,583
Tonight we present our second finalist...
1279
01:05:17,625 --> 01:05:18,750
Death by Blackout...
1280
01:05:18,792 --> 01:05:22,667
written by Robin Daniels
of Billingsley University.
1281
01:05:22,750 --> 01:05:25,208
Let's give them a warm
college cruise welcome.
1282
01:05:40,292 --> 01:05:44,208
Ah, the first of the guests has arrived.
1283
01:05:49,792 --> 01:05:52,333
Hello, sir,
and welcome to the Hibbert estate.
1284
01:05:52,417 --> 01:05:54,292
Whom may I say has arrived?
1285
01:05:54,375 --> 01:05:58,625
Harvey Jadin, American capitalist,
at your service.
1286
01:05:58,708 --> 01:06:01,250
May I take your hat?
1287
01:06:01,333 --> 01:06:03,542
Uh, well, you could...
1288
01:06:03,625 --> 01:06:07,417
if some dickhole hadn't stolen it!
1289
01:06:12,917 --> 01:06:13,875
Ah, excuse me.
1290
01:06:13,958 --> 01:06:15,542
That must be another guest.
1291
01:06:15,625 --> 01:06:16,833
Ah.
1292
01:06:18,125 --> 01:06:19,042
I have coffee.
1293
01:06:19,125 --> 01:06:21,250
Oh, God, I love you. I was dying here.
1294
01:06:21,292 --> 01:06:23,708
All right, listen to me.
These have got to be set.
1295
01:06:23,792 --> 01:06:27,125
This is for Gerri, all right?
Do not let her put it away.
1296
01:06:27,208 --> 01:06:28,542
Somebody grab that monkey.
1297
01:06:28,625 --> 01:06:29,542
Leave my monkey alone.
1298
01:06:29,625 --> 01:06:30,625
- Hey!
- I swear to God...
1299
01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:32,542
"I swear to God. " Whatever, psycho.
1300
01:06:32,625 --> 01:06:33,542
Excuse me.
1301
01:06:33,625 --> 01:06:35,500
He's touching my bag, my prop table.
1302
01:06:35,583 --> 01:06:37,208
Listen to me!
1303
01:06:37,292 --> 01:06:38,375
Oh, my G...
1304
01:06:38,458 --> 01:06:41,750
you two are disturbing my Wa.
1305
01:06:41,833 --> 01:06:43,417
Choo Choo, don't go onstage.
1306
01:06:43,500 --> 01:06:44,958
Son of a...
1307
01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,417
Eww.
1308
01:06:53,458 --> 01:06:56,625
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I give to you your host...
1309
01:06:56,708 --> 01:06:58,167
Lewison Hibbert.
1310
01:07:00,125 --> 01:07:01,750
Lewison, darling...
1311
01:07:01,792 --> 01:07:03,917
who are all these people?
1312
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:06,208
All in good time, my dear.
1313
01:07:13,208 --> 01:07:16,083
Uhh. The play's gonna be fine.
1314
01:07:20,167 --> 01:07:21,667
Can I get another one?
1315
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:27,833
Your husband is quite bold...
1316
01:07:27,917 --> 01:07:31,000
to set it out in the middle
of the room as it is.
1317
01:07:31,083 --> 01:07:32,542
Oh ho! Yes!
1318
01:07:32,625 --> 01:07:34,792
Probably because it's a fake. Heh.
1319
01:07:34,875 --> 01:07:39,542
Well, I am an expert
on carbonaceous deposits...
1320
01:07:39,625 --> 01:07:43,458
which have crystallized
into metastable dodecahedra...
1321
01:07:43,542 --> 01:07:45,750
or diamonds.
1322
01:07:45,792 --> 01:07:47,167
Hmm.
1323
01:07:48,208 --> 01:07:49,208
I'll have a look.
1324
01:07:52,958 --> 01:07:54,667
Ah, ye...
1325
01:07:54,750 --> 01:07:56,542
yes.
1326
01:07:56,625 --> 01:07:57,750
Hey, it didn't break.
1327
01:08:00,083 --> 01:08:01,917
It's the Pharaoh's Heart.
1328
01:08:04,042 --> 01:08:06,000
Yes...
1329
01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:09,167
the many facets of the Heart of U'die...
1330
01:08:09,250 --> 01:08:15,042
so beautiful, like looking at the face of God!
1331
01:08:15,125 --> 01:08:17,000
Cadwell, I'd like that drink...
1332
01:08:17,083 --> 01:08:19,333
before my ascot goes out of style.
1333
01:08:19,417 --> 01:08:22,000
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Here you go, sir.
1334
01:08:22,083 --> 01:08:25,042
Well, my guests...
1335
01:08:26,417 --> 01:08:30,375
As soon as I finish this drink we can dine.
1336
01:08:40,458 --> 01:08:42,708
And lights out.
1337
01:08:44,458 --> 01:08:45,625
What's the meaning of this, Hibbert?
1338
01:08:45,708 --> 01:08:47,250
It must be the storm.
1339
01:08:47,333 --> 01:08:48,625
What was that?
1340
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:51,083
Everyone remain where you are.
1341
01:08:53,292 --> 01:08:54,542
Uh-oh.
1342
01:08:54,625 --> 01:08:55,917
Sir! Mr. Hibbert!
1343
01:08:56,958 --> 01:08:58,667
Please, give Mr. Hibbert some room.
1344
01:08:58,750 --> 01:09:00,917
Room isn't what he needs. He's dead.
1345
01:09:00,958 --> 01:09:02,792
Ohh! Mr. Niles! Call an ambulance.
1346
01:09:02,875 --> 01:09:04,250
Everyone just stay calm.
1347
01:09:04,292 --> 01:09:06,042
I can't find a pulse.
1348
01:09:06,125 --> 01:09:07,250
Help is on the way.
1349
01:09:07,292 --> 01:09:08,333
I'm serious.
1350
01:09:08,417 --> 01:09:11,708
Maybe for the time being,
everyone should retire to their rooms.
1351
01:09:11,792 --> 01:09:13,083
Hello. He isn't breathing.
1352
01:09:13,125 --> 01:09:14,250
Yes, thank you, Miss Constance.
1353
01:09:14,333 --> 01:09:16,250
I believe you already told us that.
1354
01:09:16,292 --> 01:09:17,417
Let me see him.
1355
01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:18,833
Wait. Don't touch him.
1356
01:09:18,917 --> 01:09:20,375
Um, Miss Constance, um...
1357
01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:22,125
please let Mrs. Hibbert see her husband.
1358
01:09:22,208 --> 01:09:23,917
You don't understand.
1359
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,875
I think he might be dead for real.
1360
01:09:25,958 --> 01:09:27,458
No, no, I promise you we do understand...
1361
01:09:27,542 --> 01:09:28,875
because you've said that, like, fifty times...
1362
01:09:28,958 --> 01:09:30,875
so please step aside
and let me see my husband.
1363
01:09:30,958 --> 01:09:32,958
- Marla, I am dead serious.
- Gerri, he's only acting.
1364
01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:34,750
- Well, you take his pulse then.
- OK.
1365
01:09:34,833 --> 01:09:36,375
Newmar, shut the curtains now.
1366
01:09:36,458 --> 01:09:37,750
Constance, uh, did...
1367
01:09:37,833 --> 01:09:39,542
are you feeling well today?
1368
01:09:39,625 --> 01:09:41,208
Did you remember your medication?
1369
01:09:41,292 --> 01:09:42,458
Great ad-lib, Booker.
1370
01:09:42,542 --> 01:09:45,000
So now I'm crazy for the rest of the play?
1371
01:09:47,792 --> 01:09:49,042
Newmar, stall the audience.
1372
01:09:49,125 --> 01:09:50,625
Think of something. I don't care.
1373
01:09:50,708 --> 01:09:51,625
Ow!
1374
01:09:51,708 --> 01:09:53,458
What the fuck was that?
1375
01:09:53,542 --> 01:09:55,542
He's dead. Stukas is really dead.
1376
01:09:55,625 --> 01:09:56,792
Have you been drinking?
1377
01:09:56,875 --> 01:09:57,875
No. Well, yes.
1378
01:09:57,958 --> 01:10:00,417
It was Pete. He's trying to destroy me.
1379
01:10:00,458 --> 01:10:01,417
Yo.
1380
01:10:01,458 --> 01:10:02,958
Hi.
1381
01:10:03,042 --> 01:10:06,042
I'm Newmar, and, uh... you're not.
1382
01:10:07,792 --> 01:10:08,708
Stukas, get up.
1383
01:10:08,792 --> 01:10:10,000
Hey, is he OK?
1384
01:10:10,083 --> 01:10:11,292
Yeah. You know what? He's fine.
1385
01:10:11,375 --> 01:10:13,167
He's just passed out. He's drunk.
1386
01:10:13,250 --> 01:10:15,083
Hey, could we get this show
on the road, please?
1387
01:10:15,125 --> 01:10:16,542
Some of us have places to be.
1388
01:10:16,625 --> 01:10:18,542
No. He's dead.
1389
01:10:18,625 --> 01:10:21,292
Well, thank God
he's not in any more of the play.
1390
01:10:21,375 --> 01:10:25,250
Um, so...
1391
01:10:25,292 --> 01:10:26,375
Look, OK...
1392
01:10:26,458 --> 01:10:27,375
- Pete.
- Yeah? Yeah.
1393
01:10:27,458 --> 01:10:29,125
You wanna help me move Stukas?
1394
01:10:29,208 --> 01:10:30,125
Sure. Sure.
1395
01:10:30,208 --> 01:10:32,083
What we're doing here is something...
1396
01:10:32,167 --> 01:10:33,708
very, very... it's never been done before.
1397
01:10:34,792 --> 01:10:36,375
I don't think he's breathing.
1398
01:10:36,458 --> 01:10:37,583
That's because he's dead.
1399
01:10:37,625 --> 01:10:38,667
- What?
- Yeah.
1400
01:10:38,750 --> 01:10:40,667
He had a heart attack or something.
Whatever.
1401
01:10:40,750 --> 01:10:42,500
The guy in the...
1402
01:10:42,583 --> 01:10:44,917
in the... the colonel outfit, right...
1403
01:10:44,958 --> 01:10:47,375
let's pretend that this is him
just for a second.
1404
01:10:47,458 --> 01:10:49,458
I saw you going for that diamond.
1405
01:10:49,542 --> 01:10:52,750
You and I are the only ones
who know about it.
1406
01:10:52,792 --> 01:10:53,750
Are you sure?
1407
01:10:53,792 --> 01:10:55,208
You are the murderer.
1408
01:10:55,292 --> 01:10:56,375
Me?
1409
01:10:56,458 --> 01:10:57,833
Yes, you.
1410
01:10:57,917 --> 01:10:58,833
Couldn't be.
1411
01:10:58,917 --> 01:11:00,708
Then who?
1412
01:11:00,792 --> 01:11:03,458
Where'd it go?
1413
01:11:03,542 --> 01:11:04,958
Choo Choo!
1414
01:11:05,042 --> 01:11:05,958
Good monkey. Come here.
1415
01:11:06,042 --> 01:11:07,375
No. Come on, bring it to me.
1416
01:11:07,458 --> 01:11:08,375
No, no. Come to me.
1417
01:11:08,458 --> 01:11:09,583
I'm the one that really loves you.
1418
01:11:09,667 --> 01:11:11,208
No. I could have smoked you, and I didn't.
1419
01:11:11,292 --> 01:11:12,917
Give me the diamond.
1420
01:11:13,958 --> 01:11:15,375
Opening the curtains!
1421
01:11:15,458 --> 01:11:17,417
But all we have to do is run...
1422
01:11:17,500 --> 01:11:19,542
and love each other as much as possible.
1423
01:11:19,625 --> 01:11:21,667
Newmar, get off the stage.
1424
01:11:21,750 --> 01:11:22,708
All right. Well, thank you.
1425
01:11:24,792 --> 01:11:28,250
From the look of this body...
1426
01:11:28,292 --> 01:11:29,250
uh...
1427
01:11:29,292 --> 01:11:31,042
crime scene...
1428
01:11:31,125 --> 01:11:35,708
I suspect we have all been witnesses...
1429
01:11:35,792 --> 01:11:37,000
in a murder!
1430
01:11:37,083 --> 01:11:38,000
Ho!
1431
01:11:38,083 --> 01:11:41,042
Did anyone hear anything
after the blackout?
1432
01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:43,125
You guys wanna keep doing this play,
be my guest.
1433
01:11:43,208 --> 01:11:44,125
Yes.
1434
01:11:44,208 --> 01:11:45,458
Well, well...
1435
01:11:45,542 --> 01:11:47,792
I must excuse myself to the loo.
1436
01:11:47,875 --> 01:11:49,625
I will be back momentarily.
1437
01:11:49,708 --> 01:11:52,875
Don't you think we should stay...
1438
01:11:52,958 --> 01:11:54,542
and engage in some discussion...
1439
01:11:54,625 --> 01:11:55,875
about the murder?
1440
01:11:55,958 --> 01:11:58,208
Yes, I'd love to...
1441
01:11:58,292 --> 01:12:02,208
but I really do have to take
a gigantic dump. Peace out.
1442
01:12:04,583 --> 01:12:05,542
What are you doing?
1443
01:12:05,625 --> 01:12:07,250
We're in the middle of a scene.
1444
01:12:07,333 --> 01:12:08,542
Uh... oh, shit. What is that?
1445
01:12:12,083 --> 01:12:13,375
Oh, jeez. Uh...
1446
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:15,917
Constance, don't you want to...
1447
01:12:15,958 --> 01:12:17,375
help... me...
1448
01:12:17,458 --> 01:12:19,833
in the... investigation?
1449
01:12:19,917 --> 01:12:21,250
I'm good.
1450
01:12:21,333 --> 01:12:23,125
I know. I'll do her part.
1451
01:12:23,208 --> 01:12:24,625
Of the investigation.
1452
01:12:24,708 --> 01:12:26,292
And I could do... be...
1453
01:12:26,375 --> 01:12:28,083
Mr. Aldrich's part, too...
1454
01:12:28,125 --> 01:12:29,833
while he's...
1455
01:12:29,917 --> 01:12:31,375
dumping.
1456
01:12:34,042 --> 01:12:35,792
Cliff. Cliff, dude...
1457
01:12:35,875 --> 01:12:37,042
look, I need a huge, huge favor right now.
1458
01:12:37,125 --> 01:12:38,083
Pete?
1459
01:12:38,125 --> 01:12:40,042
What are you doing here?
1460
01:12:40,125 --> 01:12:43,250
Oh. Um, well, I...
1461
01:12:43,292 --> 01:12:45,750
we broke some glasses,
and we needed some extras...
1462
01:12:45,792 --> 01:12:48,417
and Wang would've come, but he was...
1463
01:12:48,500 --> 01:12:49,583
Well, I really should...
1464
01:12:49,667 --> 01:12:51,417
get back to the play, now, shouldn't I?
1465
01:12:51,458 --> 01:12:53,875
Uh, Cliff, could you help me
carry some glasses?
1466
01:12:53,958 --> 01:12:55,125
Sure.
1467
01:12:55,208 --> 01:12:57,875
The play's going great.
1468
01:12:57,958 --> 01:13:00,708
I can tell that it was most assuredly...
1469
01:13:00,750 --> 01:13:02,292
not a heart attack.
1470
01:13:02,375 --> 01:13:06,042
Here, monkey, monkey.
1471
01:13:06,125 --> 01:13:08,792
I... have a theory.
1472
01:13:12,250 --> 01:13:13,708
I shall return.
1473
01:13:14,750 --> 01:13:16,417
Oh, shit.
1474
01:13:16,458 --> 01:13:18,000
Look, I have to step out for a second.
1475
01:13:18,083 --> 01:13:20,042
I have a, um... a family emergency.
1476
01:13:20,125 --> 01:13:22,958
Call me on this thing
when I'm due back onstage.
1477
01:13:27,292 --> 01:13:28,500
You want me to find your monkey?
1478
01:13:28,583 --> 01:13:29,625
Yeah.
1479
01:13:29,708 --> 01:13:31,708
But I didn't even know what it looks like.
1480
01:13:31,750 --> 01:13:33,083
It looks like a monkey, Cliff.
1481
01:13:33,167 --> 01:13:36,417
I'd look myself, but someone has to do
my part in the play.
1482
01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:38,250
Dude, I'll do your part in the play...
1483
01:13:38,333 --> 01:13:39,875
a- and you could go find the monkey.
1484
01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:41,292
You don't even know my lines.
1485
01:13:41,375 --> 01:13:43,625
Well, I'm sure I could figure it out.
1486
01:13:47,292 --> 01:13:49,375
Violet, this is Cliff.
He's gonna be replacing me in the play.
1487
01:13:49,458 --> 01:13:51,375
- Get him a script. Thanks.
- But what about his costume?
1488
01:13:53,750 --> 01:13:56,542
Are you accusing me of something?
1489
01:13:56,625 --> 01:13:58,250
Maybe I am.
1490
01:13:58,333 --> 01:14:00,042
Would you two knock it off?
1491
01:14:00,125 --> 01:14:02,208
Hey, look! Mr. Aldrich became a pirate!
1492
01:14:02,292 --> 01:14:05,208
Kick-ass! Ow ow ow!
1493
01:14:07,083 --> 01:14:09,708
Yes, the pirate is right.
1494
01:14:10,958 --> 01:14:11,875
We need to work together.
1495
01:14:11,958 --> 01:14:13,000
All right, here's the deal.
1496
01:14:13,083 --> 01:14:15,250
Stukas isn't drunk.
I think someone poisoned him.
1497
01:14:15,292 --> 01:14:16,500
- What?
- Yeah, but you can't tell anybody.
1498
01:14:16,583 --> 01:14:17,833
And the diamond that Choo Choo...
1499
01:14:17,917 --> 01:14:19,583
stole off the stage is a real diamond.
1500
01:14:19,667 --> 01:14:21,708
Look, I'm gonna get it back,
and if you see Choo Choo...
1501
01:14:21,792 --> 01:14:23,208
you have to catch him. All right?
1502
01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:24,583
- All right.
- Later.
1503
01:14:33,458 --> 01:14:34,917
Ohh.
1504
01:14:37,125 --> 01:14:38,208
I would wager...
1505
01:14:38,292 --> 01:14:40,125
- Rusty, you're almost on.
- Fuck!
1506
01:14:40,208 --> 01:14:41,583
This foul crime...
1507
01:14:41,625 --> 01:14:42,833
Where are you?
1508
01:14:42,917 --> 01:14:43,833
- Shit.
- Rusty?
1509
01:14:43,917 --> 01:14:45,167
In some way...
1510
01:14:45,250 --> 01:14:48,042
involves this large diamond.
1511
01:14:48,125 --> 01:14:49,833
Yes!
1512
01:14:49,917 --> 01:14:53,292
Maybe I should hold on to it.
1513
01:14:54,417 --> 01:14:57,708
Or maybe I'm holding on to it...
1514
01:14:57,750 --> 01:14:59,125
already...
1515
01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:00,542
in my pocket.
1516
01:15:20,458 --> 01:15:22,542
Rusty, you're on in thirty seconds.
1517
01:15:29,958 --> 01:15:31,542
Yes!
1518
01:15:31,625 --> 01:15:34,042
Maybe I'll hold on to it.
1519
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:46,167
Ohh!
1520
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:47,708
Oh, Colonel!
1521
01:15:47,792 --> 01:15:48,958
Sorry.
1522
01:15:51,083 --> 01:15:52,042
Rusty, where are you?
1523
01:15:52,125 --> 01:15:53,250
Co... I'm coming.
1524
01:15:56,125 --> 01:15:59,417
Oh, Colonel, you're so brave.
1525
01:16:03,042 --> 01:16:04,125
Stretch it...
1526
01:16:19,542 --> 01:16:21,000
What's everyone just standing around for...
1527
01:16:21,083 --> 01:16:23,208
when there's a mystery to solve?
1528
01:16:24,917 --> 01:16:28,208
I'm with Mr. Jadin.
1529
01:16:28,292 --> 01:16:31,958
Now, perhaps if we recreate
the scene of the crime.
1530
01:16:32,042 --> 01:16:34,208
Constance, you were by the bay windows...
1531
01:16:34,292 --> 01:16:37,083
holding the candlesticks. Fact!
1532
01:16:37,125 --> 01:16:39,875
Colonel Kroog was by the fireplace...
1533
01:16:39,917 --> 01:16:43,250
and in his hands was
the antique fire poker. Fact!
1534
01:16:43,292 --> 01:16:46,125
Mr. Aldrich was in this chair. Fact!
1535
01:16:46,208 --> 01:16:48,208
Dr. Vassilisa was nearest the diamond.
1536
01:16:48,292 --> 01:16:49,708
Cadwell was closest to the door.
1537
01:16:49,750 --> 01:16:51,542
Mrs. Hibbert had in her hands
a bottle of scotch.
1538
01:16:51,625 --> 01:16:54,458
I, American capitalist Harry Jadin...
1539
01:16:54,542 --> 01:16:55,917
was here examining this painting.
1540
01:16:55,958 --> 01:16:57,417
Fact, fact, fact, fact, fact.
1541
01:16:57,458 --> 01:16:58,875
- He...
- got every...
1542
01:16:58,917 --> 01:17:00,000
- word.
- None of us...
1543
01:17:00,083 --> 01:17:02,125
was in position
to have caused that blackout.
1544
01:17:02,208 --> 01:17:04,708
Except for Mr. Hibbert's nurse, Lolly.
1545
01:17:04,750 --> 01:17:07,083
No! No, I swear!
1546
01:17:07,125 --> 01:17:09,208
No!
1547
01:17:09,292 --> 01:17:11,125
After her!
1548
01:17:12,458 --> 01:17:15,083
Rusty, that was really good.
1549
01:17:15,125 --> 01:17:16,417
Where's the serving tray?
1550
01:17:16,458 --> 01:17:17,875
Maybe someone's moved it.
1551
01:17:17,917 --> 01:17:20,708
Maybe someone's trying to ruin the play.
1552
01:17:20,750 --> 01:17:22,292
- Eli, you're on.
- What?
1553
01:17:22,375 --> 01:17:24,583
With all this talk of diamonds...
1554
01:17:24,625 --> 01:17:26,500
we should have ourselves a treasure hunt.
1555
01:17:31,292 --> 01:17:32,500
What the...
1556
01:17:35,750 --> 01:17:37,583
That's intermission.
1557
01:17:39,208 --> 01:17:41,583
Thank you. Ooh.
1558
01:17:42,083 --> 01:17:43,792
Eli, how many fingers am I holding up?
1559
01:17:43,875 --> 01:17:44,958
"W."
1560
01:17:45,042 --> 01:17:46,458
- Find Choo Choo?
- Nothing.
1561
01:17:46,542 --> 01:17:48,500
Marla. Marla, I...
1562
01:17:48,583 --> 01:17:50,750
Shh!
1563
01:17:51,917 --> 01:17:52,875
Ahh.
1564
01:17:52,917 --> 01:17:54,167
Why are you on my stage?
1565
01:17:54,250 --> 01:17:55,417
Ah, I'm fillin' in for Pete.
1566
01:17:55,500 --> 01:17:56,458
Oh.
1567
01:17:59,458 --> 01:18:02,167
Foosball.
1568
01:18:02,250 --> 01:18:03,833
Oh. I like your makeup.
1569
01:18:03,917 --> 01:18:07,375
Oh, thank you, sweetie weetie Peetie.
1570
01:18:07,458 --> 01:18:09,917
I need to ask you a question.
1571
01:18:09,958 --> 01:18:13,250
OK, you know how you said
that Marla and I...
1572
01:18:13,333 --> 01:18:15,708
are I-I... liked each other.
1573
01:18:15,750 --> 01:18:16,833
Oh.
1574
01:18:16,917 --> 01:18:20,167
Well, how do I find out if that's all true?
1575
01:18:20,250 --> 01:18:23,917
Oh, Lynne, she's just scared.
1576
01:18:23,958 --> 01:18:25,958
You have to lead her.
1577
01:18:26,042 --> 01:18:27,917
She wants you.
1578
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:31,625
I can see the bond between you, and...
1579
01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:35,125
and it's beautiful.
1580
01:18:35,208 --> 01:18:36,125
Ms. Daniels.
1581
01:18:36,208 --> 01:18:37,500
What?! Oh, hi.
1582
01:18:37,583 --> 01:18:39,833
Rather interesting play
you're putting on here.
1583
01:18:39,917 --> 01:18:41,292
Yes, very interesting.
1584
01:18:41,375 --> 01:18:42,708
Everything going as it's supposed to?
1585
01:18:42,750 --> 01:18:44,458
- Yep.
- All right, then.
1586
01:18:44,542 --> 01:18:46,500
As to your earlier concern...
1587
01:18:46,583 --> 01:18:48,875
a deckhand found
Professor Cavendish's suitcase.
1588
01:18:48,917 --> 01:18:51,042
Looks like he did jump ship.
1589
01:18:52,625 --> 01:18:54,083
Go, go, go, go, go. Grab his feet.
1590
01:18:54,167 --> 01:18:55,208
Grab his feet. Hey, Dante...
1591
01:18:55,292 --> 01:18:56,833
help us move Stukas.
Dean Dryer's backstage...
1592
01:18:56,917 --> 01:18:59,083
and we can't let him find him,
so, uh, drunk.
1593
01:18:59,125 --> 01:19:00,750
Stukas isn't passed out drunk.
1594
01:19:00,833 --> 01:19:02,792
I put something in his drink.
1595
01:19:04,625 --> 01:19:07,917
Did Dante just confess to us
that he murdered Stukas?
1596
01:19:07,958 --> 01:19:09,542
Let's just pretend he didn't.
1597
01:19:09,625 --> 01:19:11,208
Come on. Under the table.
1598
01:19:11,292 --> 01:19:13,542
Come on. Shove him. Slide him.
1599
01:19:13,625 --> 01:19:15,083
I have to go check on something...
1600
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:16,833
so you're in charge.
Start the second act...
1601
01:19:16,917 --> 01:19:18,792
and keep things running
until I get back, OK?
1602
01:19:18,875 --> 01:19:20,125
There you are.
1603
01:19:20,208 --> 01:19:22,792
Look... oh. We need to get out of here.
1604
01:19:22,875 --> 01:19:25,875
I... I can't tell you why.
It's for your own good...
1605
01:19:25,958 --> 01:19:28,250
but it is an... exploration.
1606
01:19:28,292 --> 01:19:31,250
So can we just forget about our little fight?
1607
01:19:31,292 --> 01:19:33,417
Yeah!
1608
01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:36,208
Let's get out of here and explore.
1609
01:19:36,292 --> 01:19:38,125
OK.
1610
01:19:38,208 --> 01:19:40,750
Crap, I can't let Marla find Choo Choo first.
1611
01:19:40,833 --> 01:19:42,542
Shouldn't we tell someone about Dante?
1612
01:19:42,625 --> 01:19:44,583
No. We gotta find that diamond first.
1613
01:19:44,667 --> 01:19:46,708
Let's split up. I'm gonna follow them.
1614
01:19:50,792 --> 01:19:53,375
How much time do you think we have?
1615
01:19:53,458 --> 01:19:55,417
I want you now.
1616
01:20:04,625 --> 01:20:06,750
You. You missed your window.
1617
01:20:06,792 --> 01:20:08,250
Fuck that, lady.
1618
01:20:08,333 --> 01:20:10,250
Look, I've been through...
1619
01:20:10,333 --> 01:20:12,583
a lot to be here, and I think I deserve...
1620
01:20:12,625 --> 01:20:16,250
a little Bluebush,
know what I'm talkin' about?
1621
01:20:16,333 --> 01:20:17,875
I make the rules!
1622
01:20:19,083 --> 01:20:20,042
Hide.
1623
01:20:25,917 --> 01:20:27,125
No. Hide.
1624
01:20:27,208 --> 01:20:28,167
Get. Go.
1625
01:20:31,458 --> 01:20:32,417
God.
1626
01:20:32,458 --> 01:20:33,917
- Man, shut the door.
- Oh, no.
1627
01:20:33,958 --> 01:20:34,917
- No!
- Move it!
1628
01:20:41,458 --> 01:20:42,417
Come on, buddy.
1629
01:20:43,833 --> 01:20:46,583
What are you doing over there?
1630
01:20:48,458 --> 01:20:49,667
Shh.
1631
01:20:51,792 --> 01:20:54,500
Hello, my sweet.
1632
01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:55,750
Hi.
1633
01:20:55,792 --> 01:20:58,375
I miss you every minute you're away.
1634
01:21:00,125 --> 01:21:03,083
So, uh...
1635
01:21:03,167 --> 01:21:05,708
how was the, um... the... the play?
1636
01:21:05,750 --> 01:21:08,083
Very strange.
1637
01:21:08,125 --> 01:21:09,958
I don't really understand
this modern theater.
1638
01:21:10,042 --> 01:21:11,375
Mm-hmm.
1639
01:21:11,458 --> 01:21:13,875
Whatever happened
to a good old-fashioned play?
1640
01:21:13,917 --> 01:21:15,500
Now they have to dress everything up...
1641
01:21:15,583 --> 01:21:17,875
by making it all conceptual and weird.
1642
01:21:17,917 --> 01:21:20,042
Well, the, uh... the play'll be starting again.
1643
01:21:20,083 --> 01:21:22,208
Won't they want you back?
1644
01:21:22,250 --> 01:21:25,375
Oh, there's always time for you...
1645
01:21:25,458 --> 01:21:27,042
my perfect...
1646
01:21:27,083 --> 01:21:30,042
loving, loyal wife.
1647
01:21:46,875 --> 01:21:48,250
Did you just grab my ass?
1648
01:21:48,333 --> 01:21:49,625
I don't know.
1649
01:21:49,708 --> 01:21:50,667
Did I?
1650
01:21:51,833 --> 01:21:53,083
Come on.
1651
01:22:13,458 --> 01:22:15,083
The Pharaoh's Heart.
1652
01:22:15,167 --> 01:22:17,708
Rex, you did steal it.
1653
01:22:17,792 --> 01:22:19,042
How sad.
1654
01:22:19,083 --> 01:22:20,875
He's gone, Robin.
1655
01:22:20,917 --> 01:22:22,208
Forget about him.
1656
01:22:22,250 --> 01:22:25,000
Dante, I seem to run into you
a lot in this room.
1657
01:22:25,083 --> 01:22:27,417
If you just paid me a little more attention...
1658
01:22:27,458 --> 01:22:29,333
none of this would have been necessary.
1659
01:22:29,417 --> 01:22:31,458
What did you do, Dante?
1660
01:22:31,542 --> 01:22:34,125
You should come back and watch the play.
1661
01:22:34,208 --> 01:22:35,500
It's quite a show.
1662
01:22:49,042 --> 01:22:49,958
Now.
1663
01:22:50,042 --> 01:22:51,292
Finally! Mmm!
1664
01:22:51,375 --> 01:22:52,333
Ohh!
1665
01:22:52,417 --> 01:22:54,792
Lynne, we did it.
1666
01:22:54,875 --> 01:22:58,208
W- we actually have the Pharaoh's Heart.
1667
01:22:58,250 --> 01:22:59,833
Yay!
1668
01:23:08,250 --> 01:23:09,333
What are you doing?
1669
01:23:09,417 --> 01:23:12,042
We're lesbians!
That's why you brought me out here...
1670
01:23:12,083 --> 01:23:13,083
to make out.
1671
01:23:13,125 --> 01:23:15,125
We are not lesbians.
I brought you out here...
1672
01:23:15,208 --> 01:23:16,708
so we could snag that huge diamond.
1673
01:23:16,792 --> 01:23:18,583
A diamond?
1674
01:23:23,917 --> 01:23:25,375
Come on, my darling.
1675
01:23:27,292 --> 01:23:29,833
Oh, Captain, you are so magnificent.
1676
01:23:29,917 --> 01:23:33,875
Oh, you're the only man for me.
1677
01:23:33,958 --> 01:23:35,542
What the devil?!
1678
01:23:35,625 --> 01:23:36,792
Don't care.
1679
01:23:36,875 --> 01:23:38,708
- Didn't you hear that?
- I didn't hear a thing.
1680
01:23:38,750 --> 01:23:41,875
Why don't you just kiss me,
you sexy beast?
1681
01:23:45,917 --> 01:23:48,750
I swear I heard something.
1682
01:23:48,833 --> 01:23:51,625
I think that pervert might be back again.
1683
01:23:51,708 --> 01:23:54,417
I can smell his cowardice.
1684
01:23:57,125 --> 01:23:59,542
No one can hide from me.
1685
01:23:59,625 --> 01:24:03,000
I have a sixth sense about these things.
1686
01:24:03,083 --> 01:24:04,000
Ay!
1687
01:24:04,083 --> 01:24:05,417
- Oh, Jesus.
- Quick.
1688
01:24:05,458 --> 01:24:06,417
What the devil?!
1689
01:24:06,458 --> 01:24:08,417
Homosexuals!
1690
01:24:08,458 --> 01:24:10,500
And more homosexuals!
1691
01:24:10,583 --> 01:24:13,042
All right, you queers!
1692
01:24:13,083 --> 01:24:14,542
You are gonna get the bashing of your life!
1693
01:24:18,042 --> 01:24:21,500
Bessie, darling, we've got a job to do.
1694
01:24:21,583 --> 01:24:22,500
Anyone... where's Janet?
1695
01:24:22,583 --> 01:24:24,333
I'll get it to hair and makeup.
1696
01:24:24,417 --> 01:24:25,917
Can't talk to you right now.
1697
01:24:27,417 --> 01:24:28,458
Ow! Whose shears?
1698
01:24:28,542 --> 01:24:30,292
I don't know.
1699
01:24:34,583 --> 01:24:36,583
It's cold out here.
1700
01:24:36,667 --> 01:24:37,708
Go! Go!
1701
01:24:37,750 --> 01:24:38,750
So mad, man.
1702
01:24:38,792 --> 01:24:40,625
- Run. Run.
- Killin' me with this shit.
1703
01:24:40,708 --> 01:24:41,792
Move it, man. Come on!
1704
01:24:41,875 --> 01:24:44,583
Wait. Rachel's playing my part.
1705
01:24:44,667 --> 01:24:46,083
I'm in charge!
1706
01:24:46,125 --> 01:24:48,375
Everyone's in the play now!
1707
01:24:48,417 --> 01:24:49,750
Including me.
1708
01:24:51,417 --> 01:24:53,042
Oh. Why would I be wearing a helmet...
1709
01:24:53,083 --> 01:24:54,667
and holding a broom?
1710
01:24:54,750 --> 01:24:56,042
'Cause, Newmar...
1711
01:24:56,083 --> 01:24:58,583
I can smell through time.
1712
01:25:01,750 --> 01:25:02,958
All right, man.
1713
01:25:03,042 --> 01:25:04,833
Finally some action.
1714
01:25:04,917 --> 01:25:09,000
Everyone, let's make art!
1715
01:25:10,667 --> 01:25:13,500
Come back here, you sodomite!
Fight like men!
1716
01:25:13,583 --> 01:25:15,500
Try to convert me, will you?!
1717
01:25:15,583 --> 01:25:16,583
Run, run, run.
1718
01:25:16,667 --> 01:25:19,708
I'll give you another hole
for your friends to enjoy, fatty!
1719
01:25:21,458 --> 01:25:22,667
Bagged one! Ha!
1720
01:25:28,417 --> 01:25:31,125
Now there are two dead.
1721
01:25:31,208 --> 01:25:32,792
There must be a murderer in this room.
1722
01:25:32,875 --> 01:25:34,375
It's not safe here anymore.
1723
01:25:34,417 --> 01:25:37,167
I can feel it.
1724
01:25:37,250 --> 01:25:40,250
I don't think it's safe for any of us
to wander off alone.
1725
01:25:40,333 --> 01:25:43,292
Uh, oh, I'll retrieve her.
1726
01:25:43,375 --> 01:25:45,958
Hey, I thought I was supposed
to go with that chick.
1727
01:25:46,042 --> 01:25:47,833
Man, is it hot in here.
1728
01:25:47,917 --> 01:25:49,292
Screw the script!
1729
01:25:49,375 --> 01:25:51,042
I'm solvin' this pirate-style, baby!
1730
01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:52,583
Yeah!
1731
01:25:52,625 --> 01:25:54,000
This is awesome!
1732
01:25:56,542 --> 01:25:58,375
Ha ha ha! Yeah!
1733
01:25:59,917 --> 01:26:01,125
Whoo!
1734
01:26:01,208 --> 01:26:05,500
I love this!
1735
01:26:05,583 --> 01:26:07,083
Here, Choo Choo. Here, monkey.
1736
01:26:07,167 --> 01:26:08,708
Wang, have you seen Dante?
1737
01:26:08,750 --> 01:26:09,750
Somewhere.
1738
01:26:09,792 --> 01:26:11,542
We gotta find the captain.
Dante basically told me...
1739
01:26:11,625 --> 01:26:13,375
- he killed someone.
- He told us that, too.
1740
01:26:13,417 --> 01:26:14,792
He told you he killed Professor Cavendish?
1741
01:26:14,875 --> 01:26:16,750
- No, Stukas.
- Stukas?
1742
01:26:18,958 --> 01:26:20,083
I...
1743
01:26:20,167 --> 01:26:21,333
shall return.
1744
01:26:21,417 --> 01:26:23,208
Fact!
1745
01:26:23,250 --> 01:26:24,667
So sexy.
1746
01:26:24,750 --> 01:26:25,750
What the...
1747
01:26:26,792 --> 01:26:29,083
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1748
01:26:29,167 --> 01:26:31,042
Where are you guys going?
Come back! Come back!
1749
01:26:31,083 --> 01:26:32,542
Oh, Captain Buckley,
I have to talk to you.
1750
01:26:32,625 --> 01:26:34,167
I can't stop.
There's a gaggle of perverts...
1751
01:26:34,250 --> 01:26:35,583
in dire need of a good thrashing.
1752
01:26:35,625 --> 01:26:37,583
But I know what happened
to Professor Cavendish.
1753
01:26:37,625 --> 01:26:38,750
He was murdered, and his killer's...
1754
01:26:38,833 --> 01:26:39,875
right here in this room.
1755
01:26:39,958 --> 01:26:41,917
- Hello.
- There he is.
1756
01:26:41,958 --> 01:26:43,250
Finally brought the captain, huh?
1757
01:26:43,292 --> 01:26:45,625
Him? And what make you think
that this boy did it?
1758
01:26:45,708 --> 01:26:48,083
Because I did. It was worth it.
1759
01:26:48,167 --> 01:26:49,083
Why, Dante?
1760
01:26:49,167 --> 01:26:50,917
So you'd go out with me.
1761
01:26:50,958 --> 01:26:53,333
You thought killing Cavendish
would make me want to go out with you?
1762
01:26:53,417 --> 01:26:54,542
Kill Cavendish?
1763
01:26:54,583 --> 01:26:55,542
What about Stukas?
1764
01:26:55,583 --> 01:26:56,708
Yeah? Did you kill him as a bonus?
1765
01:26:56,750 --> 01:26:57,958
I didn't kill Stukas.
1766
01:26:58,042 --> 01:26:59,500
I drugged him.
1767
01:26:59,583 --> 01:27:01,667
I put monkey bone in the prop decanter.
1768
01:27:01,750 --> 01:27:04,083
It's a hilarious prank.
1769
01:27:04,125 --> 01:27:06,333
Stukas is dead, Dante. You killed him.
1770
01:27:06,417 --> 01:27:08,667
But they told me
monkey bone was harmless.
1771
01:27:08,750 --> 01:27:10,583
I- it's just supposed to mess you up.
1772
01:27:10,625 --> 01:27:12,500
Heh. It's hilarious.
1773
01:27:14,875 --> 01:27:16,250
How could this have happened?
1774
01:27:17,958 --> 01:27:20,375
That stupid monkey.
1775
01:27:20,417 --> 01:27:22,917
It's all his fault. He was touching my bag.
1776
01:27:22,958 --> 01:27:24,417
Oh, so Choo Choo made you kill
two people?
1777
01:27:24,458 --> 01:27:26,042
Where is the Pharaoh's Heart?
1778
01:27:26,125 --> 01:27:27,792
What?
1779
01:27:27,875 --> 01:27:29,292
Wait a minute.
1780
01:27:29,375 --> 01:27:33,958
Captain, I never mentioned anything
about the Pharaoh's Heart to you.
1781
01:27:34,042 --> 01:27:35,875
Wang, I found the diamond. Let's get out...
1782
01:27:35,917 --> 01:27:38,625
Yeah, I'll be taking that, young man.
1783
01:27:38,708 --> 01:27:39,625
Hand it here, son.
1784
01:27:39,708 --> 01:27:41,000
I found it first! Aah!
1785
01:27:41,083 --> 01:27:42,042
Oh! The diamond!
1786
01:27:45,917 --> 01:27:46,958
Leave her alone.
1787
01:27:47,042 --> 01:27:48,250
Where is it?
1788
01:27:48,333 --> 01:27:49,250
What the fuck are you guys doing?
1789
01:27:49,333 --> 01:27:50,375
Dude, one of these diamonds is real.
1790
01:27:50,417 --> 01:27:51,542
Treasure.
1791
01:27:51,625 --> 01:27:53,667
Aha! I knew you took it!
1792
01:27:53,750 --> 01:27:55,083
Don't move, young lady.
1793
01:27:55,125 --> 01:27:57,292
Where is it?
1794
01:27:57,375 --> 01:27:58,875
Are these all diamonds?
1795
01:28:00,042 --> 01:28:01,542
Oh, shit! I found it!
1796
01:28:01,583 --> 01:28:02,542
It's mine!
1797
01:28:02,583 --> 01:28:04,708
None of you even think about moving.
1798
01:28:04,792 --> 01:28:05,750
Damn it, it's my...
1799
01:28:05,792 --> 01:28:08,125
Correction.
1800
01:28:08,208 --> 01:28:09,208
Hand it over.
1801
01:28:09,250 --> 01:28:10,708
Look at that. He has a gun.
1802
01:28:10,750 --> 01:28:12,333
Hold it right there, Captain.
1803
01:28:12,417 --> 01:28:15,458
Oh. My... my pistol. I was looking for that.
1804
01:28:15,542 --> 01:28:17,708
Sure you were.
It's gone one bullet left in it...
1805
01:28:17,750 --> 01:28:19,708
with your name on it.
1806
01:28:19,750 --> 01:28:21,792
Everyone-body, stop!
1807
01:28:21,875 --> 01:28:23,083
And look at me.
1808
01:28:23,125 --> 01:28:24,625
I'm Peter Pan!
1809
01:28:26,875 --> 01:28:28,375
Peter Pan.
1810
01:28:28,458 --> 01:28:30,042
Go, me!
1811
01:28:30,125 --> 01:28:31,542
Newmar. Newmar.
1812
01:28:31,583 --> 01:28:33,542
It was him, the captain. He did it.
1813
01:28:33,583 --> 01:28:35,125
He did it for the diamond.
1814
01:28:35,208 --> 01:28:38,375
I- is the money you're getting
really worth killing someone over?
1815
01:28:38,417 --> 01:28:41,708
Money? I didn't do it for the money.
1816
01:28:41,750 --> 01:28:43,208
It's a present...
1817
01:28:43,250 --> 01:28:47,125
a present for my dear and devoted wife.
1818
01:28:47,208 --> 01:28:49,875
You killed someone just so you could give
Mrs. Bunkley a gift?
1819
01:28:49,917 --> 01:28:51,708
She deserves it.
1820
01:28:51,750 --> 01:28:54,875
She's just a perfect little princess.
1821
01:28:54,917 --> 01:28:59,667
What?! Dude, I hate to be the one
that breaks the news to you...
1822
01:28:59,750 --> 01:29:02,917
but your wife is a total whore.
1823
01:29:02,958 --> 01:29:06,042
- Fact!
- How dare you?!
1824
01:29:06,125 --> 01:29:07,542
No one talks about my wife that way.
1825
01:29:07,583 --> 01:29:09,500
Wait a minute.
1826
01:29:09,583 --> 01:29:13,167
You're one of those homosexuals
that was spying on her.
1827
01:29:13,250 --> 01:29:15,542
Why, you slimy little misc...
1828
01:29:33,917 --> 01:29:36,875
Audacious the way they worked in
the ship's captain.
1829
01:29:36,917 --> 01:29:39,583
Great special effects. It looked so real.
1830
01:29:39,667 --> 01:29:42,542
I kind of saw the ending coming.
1831
01:29:54,375 --> 01:29:57,625
All ship personnel, prepare for docking.
1832
01:29:57,708 --> 01:30:01,375
I am deeply disappointed...
1833
01:30:01,417 --> 01:30:02,750
in all of you.
1834
01:30:06,250 --> 01:30:08,042
Mr. Hanson...
1835
01:30:09,375 --> 01:30:11,042
Ahh. Ms. Farber...
1836
01:30:11,083 --> 01:30:13,750
I do not think I can award either of you...
1837
01:30:13,833 --> 01:30:15,125
a grant for graduate school...
1838
01:30:15,208 --> 01:30:17,917
since I have seen
nothing out of either of you...
1839
01:30:17,958 --> 01:30:20,042
but moral degeneracy.
1840
01:30:21,292 --> 01:30:24,292
Ms. Daniels, despite the judges...
1841
01:30:24,375 --> 01:30:25,792
awarding you the highest point total...
1842
01:30:25,875 --> 01:30:28,333
I'm afraid you cannot receive
the Dobmeyer Prize...
1843
01:30:28,417 --> 01:30:31,875
as I have learned that much
of what we saw onstage last night...
1844
01:30:31,958 --> 01:30:34,875
was not actually in your script.
1845
01:30:34,917 --> 01:30:37,167
And, Dante...
1846
01:30:37,250 --> 01:30:41,875
I don't know whether you
can be prosecuted for murder...
1847
01:30:41,917 --> 01:30:44,292
but I suspect that intentionally drugging...
1848
01:30:44,375 --> 01:30:47,333
and accidentally killing
the late Mr. Stukas...
1849
01:30:47,417 --> 01:30:49,333
is still a crime!
1850
01:30:51,083 --> 01:30:55,042
And the fact that some of you knew
that Mr. Stukas was dead...
1851
01:30:55,083 --> 01:30:57,083
and concealed that information...
1852
01:30:57,125 --> 01:31:01,583
in order to continue to pursue
this precious stone...
1853
01:31:01,625 --> 01:31:04,208
is too shameful for words!
1854
01:31:07,292 --> 01:31:09,667
I'm disgusted
with each and every one of you.
1855
01:31:09,750 --> 01:31:12,833
Heh. All for a diamond.
1856
01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:15,750
Needless to say...
1857
01:31:15,792 --> 01:31:17,625
we'll be handing over the Pharaoh's Heart...
1858
01:31:17,708 --> 01:31:19,375
to the proper authorities.
1859
01:31:22,208 --> 01:31:23,542
What?
1860
01:31:23,583 --> 01:31:24,792
Choo Choo, come here.
1861
01:31:24,875 --> 01:31:26,750
Where's the real diamond? Choo Choo!
1862
01:31:26,792 --> 01:31:28,042
Who's got the diamond?
1863
01:31:34,542 --> 01:31:36,542
Hey, Mrs. Bunkley.
1864
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:39,542
I- I'm really, really sorry about your loss.
1865
01:31:39,583 --> 01:31:43,500
If there's anything
that I can do to comfort you...
1866
01:31:43,583 --> 01:31:45,208
in your time of need...
1867
01:31:46,750 --> 01:31:48,583
Sure.
1868
01:31:48,625 --> 01:31:51,042
And by the way...
1869
01:31:51,083 --> 01:31:52,708
it's just Summer now.
1870
01:31:52,792 --> 01:31:54,667
Summer Solstice.
1871
01:31:54,750 --> 01:31:55,708
Take a number.
1872
01:31:57,083 --> 01:31:58,208
OK, Summer.
1873
01:32:00,083 --> 01:32:01,208
What's up, dude?
1874
01:32:01,292 --> 01:32:02,708
Hey.
1875
01:32:02,750 --> 01:32:05,250
Oh. This is really, really great.
1876
01:32:05,292 --> 01:32:07,583
I'm finally gonna get to have sex...
1877
01:32:07,625 --> 01:32:09,583
after, uh, oh, I don't know...
1878
01:32:09,625 --> 01:32:12,667
like fifty other dudes. Wow!
1879
01:32:12,750 --> 01:32:14,458
Nice, nice, nice!
1880
01:32:14,542 --> 01:32:16,042
Newmar, the doctor said...
1881
01:32:16,125 --> 01:32:17,750
you have a concussion...
1882
01:32:17,833 --> 01:32:20,667
and your hearing
will come back eventually.
1883
01:32:20,750 --> 01:32:22,875
What?
1884
01:32:22,917 --> 01:32:25,000
He said you can't go to sleep...
1885
01:32:25,083 --> 01:32:26,667
or you may die.
1886
01:32:29,542 --> 01:32:31,458
Now, what can I do...
1887
01:32:31,542 --> 01:32:34,792
to keep you up all day?
1888
01:32:40,625 --> 01:32:41,917
Oh. Heh. Um...
1889
01:32:43,875 --> 01:32:45,208
Uh, eh...
1890
01:32:50,042 --> 01:32:51,500
Oh. Oh!
1891
01:35:05,333 --> 01:35:06,583
Ohh!
1892
01:35:47,417 --> 01:35:49,500
All obsessed...
1893
01:35:49,583 --> 01:35:51,875
with the taste of flesh.
1894
01:35:51,917 --> 01:35:55,875
Behold the secrets of
nature's deepest mysteries.
1895
01:35:55,917 --> 01:36:00,667
Man turns animal for
the erotic pleasures of women.
1896
01:36:00,750 --> 01:36:04,292
And men, tingling with excitement...
1897
01:36:04,375 --> 01:36:07,917
trembling with horror...
1898
01:36:08,000 --> 01:36:10,542
and throbbing with emotions.
1899
01:36:10,625 --> 01:36:14,458
A sanitized study of
a man and a woman.
1900
01:36:19,167 --> 01:36:21,208
You must find strength.
1901
01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:25,958
Too much...
1902
01:36:26,042 --> 01:36:27,000
too often.
130950
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