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1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:05,633
Parking lots now, they have
this "compact car only" spot.
2
00:00:05,666 --> 00:00:07,866
Isn't that discrimination
against the size of your car?
3
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:09,466
CROWD: Yeah!
4
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,066
If I want my ass hanging out
of the back of my parking spot,
5
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,400
that's my business.
6
00:00:14,433 --> 00:00:15,700
There are people out there
7
00:00:15,733 --> 00:00:17,200
with real asses
hanging out of their pants.
8
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:19,266
Nobody's stopping them.
9
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:23,333
Nobody goes, "Hey, hold it, sir.
Those are compact jeans.
10
00:00:23,366 --> 00:00:25,000
You can't pull that in there."
11
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:33,600
Hey.
12
00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:37,366
I got some bad news
for you, buddy.
13
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,166
I think
your car got stolen again.
14
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,733
What are you talking about?
15
00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:42,666
Well, you parked it
on 84th and Columbus, right?
16
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:43,900
Yeah.
Well, I just walked by there,
17
00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:44,966
and that car is gone.
18
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,900
Vvvvvvvvt!
19
00:00:46,933 --> 00:00:48,633
Oh, yeah, I know.
20
00:00:48,666 --> 00:00:50,133
Whoa. Well, where is it?
21
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,300
What's the difference?
22
00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:52,300
Well, there's
no difference.
23
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:53,800
You know,
I'm just curious.
24
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:56,066
You always have to know
everything that's going on,
25
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,066
don't you?
26
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:57,319
What happened to the car?
27
00:00:57,319 --> 00:00:58,866
What happened to the car?
28
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:01,300
If I don't tell you,
it will kill you, won't it?
29
00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:02,366
Yeah, yeah, it'll kill me.
30
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,666
You have to know.
You must know.
31
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,233
I must know.
32
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:09,866
Well, I'm not telling you.
33
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:11,633
Oh, come on.
34
00:01:11,666 --> 00:01:12,966
No,
I don't think so.
35
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,033
Well, please?
36
00:01:14,066 --> 00:01:15,633
Not today, pal.
37
00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:17,200
Okay, I beg you.
38
00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:20,333
Now, see, just saying "beg"
doesn't make it a real beg.
39
00:01:20,366 --> 00:01:22,133
You gotta put
some beg into it.
40
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,566
Okay. Please!
41
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:24,700
Please, tell me!
42
00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:26,000
Come on.
43
00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:27,066
All right, I'll tell you,
44
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:27,319
but your begging
needs a lot of work.
45
00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:28,566
but your begging
needs a lot of work.
46
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,066
Okay, okay, what is it?
Come on.
47
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:31,133
I loaned the car to George.
48
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,133
Ah!
[FINGERS SNAP, HANDS CLAP]
49
00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:33,966
George. All right.
50
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,900
Well, what for?
51
00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:37,733
George and Elaine
52
00:01:37,766 --> 00:01:39,466
went to a flea market
in Westchester.
53
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,733
Okay?
All right.
54
00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:42,166
Ah!
Ah.
55
00:01:44,566 --> 00:01:46,066
I mean, why'd they wanna
go there for?
56
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:47,800
Would you stop it
already!
57
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,533
You know, why didn't
they ask me to go?
58
00:01:49,566 --> 00:01:50,533
I don't know!
59
00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:52,866
How am I supposed
to know?!
60
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:53,966
What, they don't like me?
61
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,000
I don't like you!
62
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,319
Well, if they like me,
why didn't they ask me to go?
63
00:01:57,319 --> 00:01:58,966
Well, if they like me,
why didn't they ask me to go?
64
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,700
Oh, yeah.
65
00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:10,633
I really think
it looks good.
66
00:02:10,666 --> 00:02:13,166
Ten bucks.
How can you go wrong?
67
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,566
All bald people
look good in hats.
68
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,066
You should've lived
in the '20s and '30s.
69
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,833
You know, men wore hats
all the time then.
70
00:02:18,866 --> 00:02:22,633
Pssh. What a bald paradise
that must have been.
71
00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:24,733
Nobody knew.
72
00:02:24,766 --> 00:02:27,066
ELAINE:
Well, you can wear a hat
all the time now.
73
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:27,319
Who's stopping you?
74
00:02:27,319 --> 00:02:27,833
Who's stopping you?
75
00:02:27,866 --> 00:02:29,466
Nah, I can't.
76
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,333
What if meet a woman?
77
00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:33,900
I'd always be worried about that
first moment where I take it off
78
00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:36,166
and see that look
of disappointment on her face.
79
00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:39,566
You sure you like
these sunglasses?
80
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,266
Hmm.
81
00:02:41,533 --> 00:02:42,500
[TIRES SQUEAL]
82
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:43,633
[CRASH]
83
00:02:43,666 --> 00:02:45,066
Ew.
84
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:47,500
Well, I'm very disappointed
in George and Elaine,
85
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:48,633
and you know I'm somebody
86
00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:50,433
you don't wanna have
on your bad side.
87
00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:53,033
Why not?
88
00:02:53,066 --> 00:02:54,733
Because I'm like ice, buddy.
89
00:02:54,766 --> 00:02:56,333
When I don't like you,
you got problems.
90
00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:00,833
Oh, is this for the fight?
91
00:03:00,866 --> 00:03:03,800
Yeah. Starts in 35 minutes.
Mmm.
92
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:06,666
[HUMMING]
93
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,166
Whoo! Whoo!
94
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,633
Whoo! Yeah.
95
00:03:10,666 --> 00:03:12,000
Oh, hey, you know,
I invited Mike Moffett.
96
00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:13,066
You don't mind, do you?
97
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,366
No. I like Mike.
98
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,533
Yeah.
99
00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:17,566
Yeah, I just got
off the phone with him.
100
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,166
You know, we had a...
great conversation.
101
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,166
Oh, yeah?
What'd you talk about?
102
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,033
Well, actually, um...
103
00:03:22,066 --> 00:03:23,066
we talked about you.
104
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,633
Yeah.
105
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:27,300
He had some pretty interesting
things to say.
106
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,566
Oh, yeah? What did he say?
107
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:33,300
You have to know everything,
don't you?
108
00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:34,366
No, come on, Kramer.
109
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,200
What did he say?
Why is that? Why...
110
00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:37,300
do you have to know
everything?
111
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:39,066
Kramer, just tell me
what the guy said.
112
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:40,033
Beg me.
113
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,966
Please, don't make me beg.
No, no, no.
114
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,466
I want you to beg,
and I don't want you to say it.
115
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,700
I want you to put
some beg into it. Go on.
116
00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:49,000
Kramer, please,
No.
117
00:03:49,033 --> 00:03:50,500
tell me what the guy said.
118
00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:52,533
No, no, no, no,
that's no good.
119
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,000
No, I really don't think
that's a beg.
120
00:03:55,033 --> 00:03:56,900
No way.
It's close, but...
121
00:03:56,933 --> 00:03:57,319
Kramer!
122
00:03:57,319 --> 00:03:58,166
Kramer!
123
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,733
Look, I can't say anything.
124
00:03:59,766 --> 00:04:01,833
You know, the guy told me
this stuff in confidence.
125
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,000
I'd be betraying a friend.
126
00:04:03,033 --> 00:04:04,066
Well, you can't just mention it
127
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,566
and then not tell me.
128
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,566
All right. I'll tell you,
129
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,833
but you can't say
anything to him.
130
00:04:08,866 --> 00:04:10,833
I'm not saying anything.
I'm putting it in the vault.
131
00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:12,233
I'm locking the vault.
It's a vault.
132
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,166
He thinks you're a phony.
133
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,833
He what?
134
00:04:16,866 --> 00:04:19,033
I told you.
He thinks you're a phony.
135
00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:20,800
A phony?
He called me a phony?
136
00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:22,133
A big phony.
137
00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:23,066
Big one.
138
00:04:24,766 --> 00:04:27,319
Why did you tell me that
if I can't say anything?
139
00:04:27,319 --> 00:04:27,966
Why did you tell me that
if I can't say anything?
140
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,266
You begged me.
141
00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:30,866
[SIGHS]
142
00:04:32,766 --> 00:04:33,800
[CLANGING]
143
00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:35,166
Do you hear that?
144
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,166
Of course I hear that.
145
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,200
You had to move
the mirror.
146
00:04:39,233 --> 00:04:40,733
I wanted to check out
my sunglasses.
147
00:04:40,766 --> 00:04:42,233
I went to look
into the mirror.
148
00:04:42,266 --> 00:04:43,733
It wasn't there.
You threw off my equilibrium.
149
00:04:43,766 --> 00:04:47,466
Oh, yeah, blame it on me
because you can't drive, George.
150
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:48,466
I can't drive?
151
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:49,466
Yeah.
152
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,166
Nobody drives like me.
Nobody.
153
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,400
I'm doing things
in this car,
154
00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:54,000
you have no idea
they're going on.
155
00:04:54,033 --> 00:04:55,500
You wanna see me
make a right turn
156
00:04:55,533 --> 00:04:56,733
from the left lane?
Watch this.
157
00:04:56,766 --> 00:04:57,319
No, I really don't.
158
00:04:57,319 --> 00:04:58,733
No, I really don't.
159
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,733
I can make a left turn
from the right lane.
160
00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:02,300
I'm sure you could.
161
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,800
What're we gonna tell
Jerry about the car?
162
00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:04,900
I don't know.
163
00:05:04,933 --> 00:05:06,966
All right,
start looking for spaces.
164
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,000
Oh, you're never gonna find
a space on Jerry's block.
165
00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:10,033
Just put it in a garage.
166
00:05:10,066 --> 00:05:11,966
Look, I have my system.
167
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,833
First, I look for the dream spot
right in front of the door,
168
00:05:14,866 --> 00:05:17,500
then I slowly expand out
in concentric circles.
169
00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:20,300
No, come on, George,
please put it in a garage.
170
00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,733
I don't wanna spend an hour
looking for a space.
171
00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:24,466
I can't park in a garage.
172
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:25,533
Why?
173
00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,133
I don't know.
I just can't.
174
00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:27,319
Nobody in my family
can pay for parking.
175
00:05:27,319 --> 00:05:28,700
Nobody in my family
can pay for parking.
176
00:05:28,733 --> 00:05:30,166
It's a sickness.
177
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,700
My father never paid
for parking,
178
00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:33,300
my mother,
my brother, nobody.
179
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,333
We can't do it.
180
00:05:34,366 --> 00:05:35,466
I'll pay for it.
181
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,666
You don't understand.
182
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:40,000
A garage...
183
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:41,700
I can't even pull in there.
184
00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,300
It's like going to a prostitute.
185
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:46,200
Why should I pay when,
if I apply myself,
186
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:48,800
maybe I could get it
for free?
187
00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:49,866
[HORN HONKS]
What?
188
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,033
What do you want?
189
00:05:52,066 --> 00:05:54,966
Go around me.
I'm looking for spaces.
190
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,666
Oh, George, there's
a space right there!
191
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:57,319
Oh, beautiful.
You just passed it, see?
192
00:05:57,319 --> 00:05:58,733
Oh, beautiful.
You just passed it, see?
193
00:05:58,766 --> 00:06:00,733
Look at that,
the dream space,
194
00:06:00,766 --> 00:06:02,233
right in front
of Jerry's building.
195
00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:03,533
Yeah.
Huh? Huh?
196
00:06:03,566 --> 00:06:05,833
Dreams can come true.
What did I tell you?
197
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,833
You didn't even have to
take it out to dinner.
198
00:06:07,866 --> 00:06:08,666
Yeah, all--
199
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,200
[CHUCKLES]
200
00:06:10,233 --> 00:06:11,533
[BOTH LAUGH]
201
00:06:11,566 --> 00:06:12,833
All right.
202
00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,900
Now you're gonna see
some parallel parking.
203
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,300
[SPITS]
204
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,800
How I wish you could
make a living
205
00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,966
parallel parking.
206
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,133
It's all geometry,
207
00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:24,200
knowing all the angles,
208
00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:25,500
when to make
that first turn,
209
00:06:25,533 --> 00:06:26,800
and then when to...
210
00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:27,319
swing it back in.
That's the key.
211
00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:28,533
swing it back in.
That's the key.
212
00:06:28,566 --> 00:06:30,666
Will you just park it
already?
213
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,000
There's nothing
I can even impart to you.
214
00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:33,800
That's the sad thing.
215
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:35,633
It's so inborn.
216
00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:37,533
I can't pass it on.
217
00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:39,333
Hmm.
218
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,266
Look at this guy.
219
00:06:41,066 --> 00:06:42,366
What are you--?
220
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,166
What are you, crazy?
What are you doing?
221
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,666
Hey, hey!
222
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,066
You're stealing
my space!
223
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,166
George, wait, you don't know
who this guy is.
224
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,900
People kill for
a parking space in this city.
225
00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:52,400
No, no, he's not
getting away with this.
226
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:54,233
No-- George!
227
00:06:54,266 --> 00:06:55,733
Hey, what--
What are you doing?
228
00:06:55,766 --> 00:06:57,319
I think
I'm parking my car.
229
00:06:57,319 --> 00:06:57,466
I think
I'm parking my car.
230
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,700
You can't do that.
231
00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,700
You can't just sneak in
from the back like that.
232
00:07:00,733 --> 00:07:02,533
I'm not sneaking.
233
00:07:02,566 --> 00:07:03,900
I didn't even know
you were parking.
234
00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,666
You were just sitting there,
three spaces up.
235
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,133
Well, if you didn't think
I was parking,
236
00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:08,733
why did you
put it in headfirst?
237
00:07:08,766 --> 00:07:11,033
Well, that's the way
I park!
238
00:07:11,066 --> 00:07:12,166
Anyway,
you didn't start backing in
239
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,533
till I pulled in.
240
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,466
I was in the middle
of a conversation.
241
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,166
Hey, buddy,
what can I tell you?
242
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,966
All right, the point is
I was here first.
243
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,900
I was closer to this space
than you were!
244
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:23,833
But I'm backing in!
You can't put it in headfirst!
245
00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:25,566
I can if I have room!
246
00:07:27,066 --> 00:07:27,319
Are you gonna move the car?
247
00:07:27,319 --> 00:07:28,633
Are you gonna move the car?
248
00:07:28,666 --> 00:07:30,266
No, I'm not
gonna move the car.
249
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:32,966
Jerk.
250
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,033
Oh, you're not?
251
00:07:34,066 --> 00:07:35,366
Do-- Do you believe
this guy?
252
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,133
Come on, we'll put it
in a garage.
253
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,633
I am not putting it
in the garage.
254
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,800
It's my space.
255
00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,166
What are you gonna do?
256
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,966
You just gonna
leave it here like this?
257
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,033
Oh, I'm going upstairs.
258
00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:45,300
Uh, are you
coming back down?
259
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,833
Yeah, I gotta tell
Jerry we're here.
260
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,066
I gotta go
to the bathroom.
261
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,400
All right,
just make sure
262
00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:50,666
he reserves the good chair
for me.
263
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,233
Wait, what are you
gonna tell him
264
00:07:52,266 --> 00:07:53,566
about the clanking noise
in the car?
265
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,466
Me? No, no, no, you,
you're gonna tell him.
266
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,733
I'm not gonna tell--
No, no,
267
00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:57,319
no, come on,
you're good at this.
268
00:07:57,319 --> 00:07:58,233
no, come on,
you're good at this.
269
00:07:58,266 --> 00:08:00,500
What am I gonna say?
I don't know, I don't know.
270
00:08:00,533 --> 00:08:02,566
You'll think of something.
Just break it to him gently.
271
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,433
Oh, man.
272
00:08:06,766 --> 00:08:07,900
[HORN HONKS]
273
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:09,366
[HORN HONKS]
274
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:16,333
[PANTING]
Oh, God.
275
00:08:16,366 --> 00:08:19,233
Oh, God. I need a drink.
Do you got any Hennigan's here?
276
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,500
Yeah, under the counter.
What happened?
277
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,900
Oh, God.
278
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,633
Oh, Jerry,
it was so terrible
279
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:26,200
what we just went through
on the way home...
280
00:08:27,866 --> 00:08:29,133
You wouldn't believe it.
281
00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:31,433
What? Tell me
what happened.
282
00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:35,866
[COUGHS]
283
00:08:37,933 --> 00:08:38,866
[GASPS]
284
00:08:40,766 --> 00:08:43,366
Okay, now listen...
285
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,800
we were at the toll booth
286
00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:47,000
at the Henry Hudson Parkway,
okay?
287
00:08:47,033 --> 00:08:48,033
And there were these,
like--
288
00:08:48,066 --> 00:08:49,033
this pack of--
289
00:08:49,066 --> 00:08:52,233
Of e-extremely wild teenagers
290
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,800
in a convertible
behind us, okay?
291
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,200
And for some reason--
I-- I don't know--
292
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:57,319
they just started
to taunt us.
293
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,000
they just started
to taunt us.
294
00:08:58,033 --> 00:08:59,066
And so-- And so--
295
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,400
Then we paid the toll,
296
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:02,166
and then--
And then we went through,
297
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,000
and then they started
to follow us, all right?
298
00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:05,800
So George tries
to lose them.
299
00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:06,833
And-- And-- And--
300
00:09:06,866 --> 00:09:08,233
But they were
in this really,
301
00:09:08,266 --> 00:09:10,733
like, a souped-up car,
you know?
302
00:09:10,766 --> 00:09:13,333
And so he-- He turned off
the road, really suddenly,
303
00:09:13,366 --> 00:09:15,200
and the car was
on two wheels,
304
00:09:15,233 --> 00:09:17,400
and I was just screaming.
And-- And--
305
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,833
And then-- George is
such a great driver.
306
00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:20,833
He is?
307
00:09:20,866 --> 00:09:23,366
Oh, he is fantastic,
308
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,566
and then they fired a gun
right up in the air.
309
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,966
A gun?
310
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:27,319
I think it was a gun.
311
00:09:27,319 --> 00:09:29,533
I think it was a gun.
312
00:09:29,566 --> 00:09:31,133
And then--
And then they followed us
313
00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:32,700
all the way into the city,
314
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:34,800
and then they just stopped,
and they turned around,
315
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:36,366
and they went home.
316
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:42,333
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
317
00:09:42,366 --> 00:09:44,466
Yeah, yeah,
I'm all right. God.
318
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,633
Oh, man. Jeez.
319
00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:48,066
Oh, by the way,
the car hit a pothole,
320
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:51,466
and now it's making
a clanking noise.
321
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:54,100
Oh, well, I mean, as long as
you're okay, that...
322
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,166
That's the important thing.
323
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,900
Exactly.
324
00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,333
Where's George now?
325
00:10:04,366 --> 00:10:05,833
Oh, he's out
in front of the building.
326
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,666
He's arguing with some guy
about a parking space.
327
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:08,866
What are you talking about?
328
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,066
Well, look out the window.
You'll see.
329
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:13,966
Hey, Georgie!
330
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,400
Hey!
331
00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:17,900
Are you okay?
332
00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:18,866
Yeah, I'm fine.
333
00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:21,666
Crazy kids, huh?
334
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:22,500
What?
335
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,633
Ow!
336
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:26,900
[GROANING]
337
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:27,319
It's my cuticle.
338
00:10:27,319 --> 00:10:28,433
It's my cuticle.
339
00:10:31,766 --> 00:10:32,866
MAN:
Is that Jerry?
340
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,166
Jerry!
341
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,700
Oh, hey, Mike.
342
00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:37,466
What, you know Jerry?
343
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,800
Yeah, I know Jerry.
344
00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:40,200
How do you know him?
345
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:41,166
What's the difference?
346
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,533
Because I know him too,
347
00:10:42,566 --> 00:10:43,866
and probably
a lot better than you.
348
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,966
Well, bully for you.
349
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,866
Hey, Jerry!
350
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,033
You know,
your friend here
351
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,733
is a real piece
of work!
352
00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:52,633
I'm coming down.
353
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:53,866
Hey, will you tell
Kramer I'm outside?
354
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,066
What, you know Kramer?
355
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,066
Hi.
356
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,733
Hello.
357
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,900
Hey, your friend
Mike's outside.
358
00:11:13,933 --> 00:11:15,166
He wants
to talk to you.
359
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,100
Oh.
360
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:18,500
Hey, Mike.
361
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:21,633
Come on up!
The fight's almost starting.
362
00:11:21,666 --> 00:11:23,366
What, you're watching
the fight at Jerry's?
363
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,533
Yeah.
364
00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:26,233
Oh, great.
365
00:11:26,266 --> 00:11:27,319
You know that guy
downstairs?
366
00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:27,666
You know that guy
downstairs?
367
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,166
Yeah, he's a real phony.
368
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,900
What's going on?
369
00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:35,566
Hey, will you come on down?
This guy's in my space!
370
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,033
It's my space!
371
00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:38,533
I'll be down in a minute!
372
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:43,500
Are you going down?
Yeah.
373
00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:47,166
Is anything wrong?
374
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,700
Why should anything be wrong?
375
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:49,666
[BLOWS HARD]
376
00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:53,266
I'll be down
in a minute.
377
00:11:56,066 --> 00:11:57,319
Hey, pal...
378
00:11:57,319 --> 00:11:58,966
Hey, pal...
379
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,666
you're not getting
that space.
380
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,533
I mean, I'll sleep in my car
if I have to.
381
00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:07,166
I'll die out here.
382
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,333
He was down there.
383
00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:11,000
Once he passed
his front bumper,
384
00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:12,966
it's no longer his space.
No, it doesn't matter.
385
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,200
He was here first...
[CHEERFULLY] Hey! Jerry!
386
00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:17,833
Long time no see.
Hi, Mike.
387
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:20,433
Indiana.
Hey, Krame.
388
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,533
Hey.
You know this guy?
389
00:12:23,566 --> 00:12:24,933
Yeah, yeah,
I know him.
390
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,319
You're looking
tremendous.
391
00:12:27,319 --> 00:12:27,500
You're looking
tremendous.
392
00:12:27,533 --> 00:12:29,233
What are you on,
some kind of regimen?
393
00:12:29,266 --> 00:12:30,566
Yeah, 25-percent
bran flakes.
394
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,866
The 40 percent
was too much,
395
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:34,133
so I found a store
makes it up special for me.
396
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:35,366
They take it down
another 15 percent.
397
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,333
[LAUGHS]
398
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,666
That's killer,
killer!
399
00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:43,666
I love that.
400
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:46,266
You've gotta use that.
That's a definite.
401
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,966
Oh, come on.
402
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,900
Hey.
403
00:12:50,933 --> 00:12:52,466
Your friend here
has some real problems.
404
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,200
Me? You see
what he did here?
405
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:56,200
You see how he tried
to sneak into my space?
406
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,319
Just because I went front-first,
doesn't mean I'm sneaking in.
407
00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:58,200
Just because I went front-first,
doesn't mean I'm sneaking in.
408
00:12:58,233 --> 00:13:00,200
You went in front-first
because you saw me backing up,
409
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:01,800
and you didn't have room
to parallel park!
410
00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:03,533
I went front-first because
I can make it front-first,
411
00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:05,033
and if you pull out,
I'll show you!
412
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:06,333
You got a prayer.
413
00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:08,366
Hey, I go in front-first
all the time.
414
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,666
Oh, front-first,
that's how you park
415
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,333
when you're pulling
a bank job.
416
00:13:13,366 --> 00:13:15,000
Did you--
Did you talk to him?
417
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:16,666
Yeah, yeah.
It's all taken care of.
418
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,866
You told him? What--?
What did you tell him?
419
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,466
I did a number on him.
420
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,900
It was a thing of beauty.
421
00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,966
You really had to have
been there to appreciate it.
422
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,200
I can't believe it.
What--? What did you say?
423
00:13:27,233 --> 00:13:27,319
I told him a pack of teenagers,
424
00:13:27,319 --> 00:13:30,400
I told him a pack of teenagers,
425
00:13:30,433 --> 00:13:32,033
in a convertible,
426
00:13:32,066 --> 00:13:33,500
were terrorizing us,
427
00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:34,833
and they followed us
into the city.
428
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,500
A pack of teenagers?
Yeah, yeah.
429
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:40,533
By the time I got
to the end of the story,
430
00:13:40,566 --> 00:13:42,300
he was so relieved
that we were alive,
431
00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:43,733
he couldn't care less
about the car.
432
00:13:43,766 --> 00:13:45,500
You are a genius.
433
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,300
Yeah.
It's as simple as that.
434
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:49,400
What can I say?
You know, it's a gift.
435
00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:51,333
I only wish
I could teach you, but...
436
00:13:51,366 --> 00:13:52,866
you know, it's inborn.
437
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:55,866
Oh, by the way,
thanks a lot
438
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,133
for inviting me
to the flea market.
439
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:57,319
BOTH: What?
440
00:13:57,319 --> 00:13:58,366
BOTH: What?
441
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,666
Yeah, Jerry, he told me
all about it.
442
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,200
Oh, great.
443
00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:02,733
I didn't know.
444
00:14:02,766 --> 00:14:05,966
Oh, so that's why
you were acting so funny.
445
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,466
Well, I didn't know you wanted
to go to the flea market.
446
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,733
A flea market?
You went to a flea market?
447
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,366
Hey,
who's talking to you?
448
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,000
We just didn't
think of you.
449
00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:15,366
You said it,
sister.
450
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,866
Oh, what, every time
I leave my house,
451
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:19,133
now I have to call everybody
I know, and ask them
452
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:21,366
if they want to do
what I'm doing?
453
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,366
People forget.
Look at Home Alone.
454
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,733
They forgot.
455
00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:26,133
Yeah, great move telling him,
by the way, real smart move.
456
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,319
I didn't know I wasn't supposed
to say anything.
457
00:14:27,319 --> 00:14:27,966
I didn't know I wasn't supposed
to say anything.
458
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,833
[WHINING GIBBERISH]
459
00:14:29,866 --> 00:14:31,500
Judgment, Jerry, judgment!
460
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:33,000
You exercised no judgment.
461
00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:35,033
You're right,
my fault.
462
00:14:35,066 --> 00:14:36,200
I'm sorry, Kramer.
463
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,333
I'm so sorry, really.
464
00:14:38,366 --> 00:14:39,400
Yeah, I'm sorry.
465
00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:40,900
I'm sorry,
466
00:14:40,933 --> 00:14:41,866
I don't care
for that sorry.
467
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,700
What was wrong
with that sorry?
468
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:45,733
That was a good sorry.
469
00:14:45,766 --> 00:14:47,333
Jerry, was that
a good sorry?
470
00:14:47,366 --> 00:14:49,133
It was a so-so sorry.
471
00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:50,500
[HORN HONKS]
472
00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:53,500
Hey, move this car!
I gotta get through!
473
00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:56,466
You heard
the man.
474
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:57,319
I guess you'd better
be moving your car.
475
00:14:57,319 --> 00:14:58,533
I guess you'd better
be moving your car.
476
00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:00,033
And, like, you're not
just gonna back it in
477
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,000
if I do that.
478
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:04,033
Well, somebody better move
something soon.
479
00:15:04,066 --> 00:15:05,900
I got a truck
full of ice cream here!
480
00:15:05,933 --> 00:15:07,600
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
481
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,733
See, they had
to move the car
482
00:15:13,766 --> 00:15:15,233
so the truck could
get through, right?
483
00:15:15,266 --> 00:15:16,500
But these guys
don't trust each other,
484
00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,200
so they got
these two non-partisan drivers
485
00:15:18,233 --> 00:15:19,766
to move them.
486
00:15:25,033 --> 00:15:26,566
Wild pack of teenagers,
huh?
487
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,233
Yeah.
488
00:15:28,266 --> 00:15:29,900
Amazing how they pick...
489
00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:31,633
you, out of everyone,
to terrorize.
490
00:15:31,666 --> 00:15:33,900
Yeah, I know.
I said--
491
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,200
I said to myself,
"Why us?"
492
00:15:35,233 --> 00:15:36,733
You remember? I--
Mm-hmm.
493
00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:39,700
Sounds like you did
some pretty nifty maneuvering.
494
00:15:39,733 --> 00:15:40,576
Well, you know, i-i-it's
interesting, when, you know,
495
00:15:40,576 --> 00:15:41,500
Well, you know, i-i-it's
interesting, when, you know,
496
00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:42,866
un-- under that pressure,
what you're capable of.
497
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,333
Mmm.
Right.
498
00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:46,133
I learned a lot about myself.
Mm-hmm.
499
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:47,500
Yeah.
[METAL SCRAPING]
500
00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:49,566
What did you do to my car?
I couldn't help it.
501
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,700
Elaine moved the mirror.
I got discombobulated.
502
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,000
Oh, like you've
ever been bobulated.
503
00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:56,133
I thought you said
you were a good driver.
504
00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:58,133
No, no. I never said
I was a good driver.
505
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,833
I said I was
a good parker.
506
00:15:59,866 --> 00:16:01,533
I think you said
driver.
507
00:16:01,566 --> 00:16:04,533
No, parker. I never said driver.
I said parker, great parker.
508
00:16:04,566 --> 00:16:06,533
Hey, that's not the way it was.
Will you move it?
509
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,033
No, no, no,
that's in the right position.
510
00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:09,666
No, no,
I was further in.
511
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:10,576
No, you weren't.
Stop there. That's fine.
512
00:16:10,576 --> 00:16:10,900
No, you weren't.
Stop there. That's fine.
513
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:12,466
Do you mind?
Do you?
514
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,166
Hey, somebody better
move these cars.
515
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,400
You're making a commotion.
516
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,466
Hey, Sid.
517
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,700
Who are you?
518
00:16:17,733 --> 00:16:19,000
Never mind who I am.
519
00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:21,800
I know who I am.
Do you know who you are?
520
00:16:21,833 --> 00:16:23,200
Why is it
521
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,533
every time you park a car
in this block,
522
00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:27,333
everything gets disrupted
and disjointed?
523
00:16:27,366 --> 00:16:28,633
Sid, it's completely
his fault.
524
00:16:28,666 --> 00:16:29,966
Oh, right.
525
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,500
Why don't you start
taking the bus?
526
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,733
JERRY:
Okay, George,
come on.
527
00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:34,333
Let's go.
I'm putting it in a garage.
528
00:16:34,366 --> 00:16:35,566
The fight's starting
in two minutes.
529
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,066
It's enough already!
No, don't do it!
530
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,066
What are we gonna do?
Stay out here all night?
531
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,400
Yes, I'm not giving him
the satisfaction.
532
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:40,576
It's my space.
533
00:16:40,576 --> 00:16:41,533
It's my space.
534
00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:43,666
Why don't you just
flip a coin already?
535
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,666
No, no, no,
this is a matter of principle.
536
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,400
That would just be saying
that anybody can just
537
00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:49,133
pull into any parking space
any way they want.
538
00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:50,633
Well, I'm making a stand here.
539
00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:52,333
I'm saying no
to headfirst parking!
540
00:16:52,366 --> 00:16:53,633
I'm not putting up
with that.
541
00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:55,633
We put up with too much crap
in this city!
542
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,400
We're not putting up
with headfirst parking!
543
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,166
You know, maybe if you hadn't
been sitting there
544
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,533
pontificating about
what a great parker you were,
545
00:17:01,566 --> 00:17:03,200
you might've
got the space.
546
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:05,233
Oh, so you're
against me now?
547
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:06,966
Ohhh...
The man, he could've
548
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,166
pulled up to that car
and backed in,
549
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,566
but he chose
to go in headfirst.
550
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,866
No, he couldn't,
551
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,233
because the other car
was already backing in.
552
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,400
No, he wasn't.
553
00:17:15,433 --> 00:17:17,866
All that matters is
who was there first.
554
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:20,733
Ah, you're not even old enough
to drive, you little puke.
555
00:17:20,766 --> 00:17:22,300
You just spit on me!
556
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:25,300
Don't you raise
your voice to me!
557
00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:27,233
You're not my father!
558
00:17:27,266 --> 00:17:28,666
Hey, Matthew.
559
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:30,333
Hi, Jerry.
560
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:31,866
This guy's really
a jerk.
561
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:32,800
How you doing?
562
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:34,700
Okay.
563
00:17:34,733 --> 00:17:36,566
Hey, how's your father?
I hear he's closing his store.
564
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,266
What?
565
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:39,900
Oh, no, nothing. Nothing.
566
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:40,576
What's happened to Daddy?
He's going out of business?
567
00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:42,300
What's happened to Daddy?
He's going out of business?
568
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:44,000
No, no, no, no.
569
00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:45,233
We're not going
to have any money?
570
00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:46,233
No.
We're out of money?
571
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,066
No, of course not,
of course not.
572
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,400
Mommy!
573
00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:51,533
Jerry says
Daddy's closing the store.
574
00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:54,066
He's going
out of business.
575
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,633
We don't have
any money?
576
00:17:55,666 --> 00:17:57,833
Jerry,
what's the matter with you?
577
00:17:57,866 --> 00:17:59,966
I didn't...
578
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,700
Boy, I don't know
about your friend, Jerry.
579
00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:03,633
He says some pretty stupid
things sometimes.
580
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,833
Yeah.
581
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,066
[SIGHS]
582
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:08,000
Oh,
congratulations.
583
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:09,466
What for?
584
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,576
Well,
you're pregnant.
585
00:18:10,576 --> 00:18:11,200
Well,
you're pregnant.
586
00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:12,200
What?
587
00:18:12,233 --> 00:18:13,700
You're not pregnant?
588
00:18:13,733 --> 00:18:15,233
No, I'm not pregnant.
589
00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:17,966
Are you sure
you're not pregnant?
590
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,500
Yes, I'm sure.
591
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,900
Whew.
That's weird.
592
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:21,900
Come on, Matthew.
No!
593
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,400
Come on, Matthew!
594
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:25,433
I thought she was pregnant.
595
00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:27,666
Hey, do you think
I'm a phony?
596
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,400
What?
Mike thinks I'm a phony.
597
00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:30,833
He thinks
you're a phony?
598
00:18:30,866 --> 00:18:32,300
Yeah, but I can't
say anything,
599
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,666
because Kramer wasn't
supposed to tell me.
600
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,066
Oh, you have to
say something.
601
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:37,300
I can't. I told Kramer
I was vaulting it.
602
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,533
Well, you gotta
open the vault.
603
00:18:38,566 --> 00:18:40,576
Open my vault?
Open your vault.
604
00:18:40,576 --> 00:18:40,700
Open my vault?
Open your vault.
605
00:18:40,733 --> 00:18:43,000
Once I open the vault,
it ceases to be a vault.
606
00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:44,000
You have no choice.
607
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:46,733
Oy, the vault.
608
00:18:46,766 --> 00:18:48,333
You wanna know why
you can't go in front-first?
609
00:18:48,366 --> 00:18:49,466
I'll tell you why.
610
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,000
Because it signals
a breakdown
611
00:18:51,033 --> 00:18:52,233
in the social order.
612
00:18:52,266 --> 00:18:53,533
Chaos!
613
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,000
It reduces us
to jungle law.
614
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,133
Well, when can you
park headfirst?
615
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:00,533
Never!
616
00:19:00,566 --> 00:19:01,866
What're you asking
this guy for?
617
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:02,866
Who's talking to you?
618
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:03,966
He's right.
Never.
619
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,466
Oh, yeah?
620
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,233
Well, what if you got
10 car lengths?
621
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:09,733
Do you have to pull
all the way up to the front car?
622
00:19:09,766 --> 00:19:10,576
Well, if you've got
10 car lengths...
623
00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:11,800
Well, if you've got
10 car lengths...
624
00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,533
When do you ever have
10 car lengths?
625
00:19:13,566 --> 00:19:15,000
What about Sundays
and holidays, huh?
626
00:19:15,033 --> 00:19:17,166
Oh, please...
627
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,133
Hey, what's
going on here?
628
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:22,000
Oh, uh, this guy
tried to sneak into my space.
629
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:23,666
Oh. I really hate
people who do that.
630
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,666
I hope you don't let him
get away with it.
631
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:28,366
Well, thank you
for your support.
632
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,666
Hey, that's a great hat.
633
00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:32,400
Really? You like it?
Yeah.
634
00:19:33,566 --> 00:19:35,333
I got it
at a flea market today.
635
00:19:35,366 --> 00:19:36,233
Hey, George,
nice hat.
636
00:19:36,266 --> 00:19:37,233
Yeah, thanks.
637
00:19:37,266 --> 00:19:38,533
Can I try it on?
638
00:19:38,566 --> 00:19:39,666
No, it, uh,
wouldn't fit you.
639
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:40,576
Oh, sure,
it would.
640
00:19:40,576 --> 00:19:40,666
Oh, sure,
it would.
641
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:41,900
No. Get out of here,
Newman.
642
00:19:41,933 --> 00:19:43,166
Ah, let me try it.
Stop it!
643
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,400
Well, let him
try it on.
644
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,566
I don't want him to.
645
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,666
What is wrong with you?
646
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:49,000
You wanna see?!
647
00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:50,366
There! There it is!
648
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,833
Run!
649
00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:53,566
All right, here!
You wanna try on the hat?!
650
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,400
Here, try on the hat!
Stop it, George.
651
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:57,533
I was defending your parking.
Come on, George!
652
00:19:57,566 --> 00:19:59,733
All right, keep it,
just keep the hat!
653
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,233
All right, that's it,
the fight's already started.
654
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,000
I'm going upstairs.
Who's coming? Elaine?
655
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:04,800
It depends on who's going.
Are you going?
656
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,566
I'm not going if he's going.
Me either.
657
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,066
And I'm not going
if he's going.
658
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,833
Well, I'm going.
If he's going, I'm not going.
659
00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:10,576
But it's your house.
I still don't have to go.
660
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:11,566
But it's your house.
I still don't have to go.
661
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,333
I don't wanna go
if Jerry's not going.
662
00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:16,133
Why won't you go, if I go?
Why? I'll tell you why.
663
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:17,400
No, don't, Jerry.
664
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,533
Like, you didn't call me
a phony?!
665
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:20,966
What?
666
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,066
Thanks! Real good!
667
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:23,133
All right.
668
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,533
Jerry...
669
00:20:24,566 --> 00:20:25,800
First of all,
670
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,466
I think you completely
misunderstood what I said.
671
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,333
I meant it
in a complimentary way.
672
00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:31,700
I mean, you know
when people say, "He's bad,"
673
00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:32,900
it really means,
"He's good"?
674
00:20:32,933 --> 00:20:34,200
That sort of thing?
675
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,333
Uh, you know,
it's slang.
676
00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:36,266
Use it in a sentence.
677
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:40,066
Man, that Michael Jordan
is so phony.
678
00:20:41,266 --> 00:20:42,966
Why did you tell him?!
679
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:43,966
He begged me!
680
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,233
He begged you?!
681
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,200
All right, come on,
who wants to watch the fight?
682
00:20:49,233 --> 00:20:51,233
Okay, whose cars are these?
Let's move them. Let's go.
683
00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:52,633
Uh, o-o-officer,
684
00:20:52,666 --> 00:20:54,800
could I just explain
something to you?
685
00:20:54,833 --> 00:20:57,833
Let's go, or I'll write both
of you a ticket in two minutes.
686
00:20:57,866 --> 00:20:59,800
But, officer, he--
He can't pull in headfirst.
687
00:20:59,833 --> 00:21:01,966
Officer, he backed up
from down the street.
688
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,666
He was double-parked.
He was sitting there.
689
00:21:05,566 --> 00:21:06,833
All right,
you move your car.
690
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,433
It's his space.
You can't go in headfirst.
691
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,666
Wait a second.
692
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:15,400
Why can't
he go in headfirst?
693
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:17,666
He said the guy was
just sitting over there.
694
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,200
What are you
talking about?
695
00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:20,666
This guy was
there first.
696
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:21,700
But he didn't
take it.
697
00:21:21,733 --> 00:21:23,366
Hey,
it's his space,
698
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,000
No, it's his space.
What are you...?
699
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,500
MIKE:
You're gonna have to
leave eventually.
700
00:21:26,533 --> 00:21:28,500
GEORGE:
Well, you're gonna have to
go to the bathroom!
701
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:30,233
MIKE:
Well, you're gonna have to
go to work!
702
00:21:30,266 --> 00:21:32,233
GEORGE: I don't have a job!
MIKE: Neither do I!
703
00:21:32,266 --> 00:21:33,933
GEORGE: Yeah--
[YELLING QUIETS]
704
00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:39,133
[CROWD CHEERING]
705
00:21:39,166 --> 00:21:40,576
ANNOUNCER:
Seven...
706
00:21:40,576 --> 00:21:40,900
ANNOUNCER:
Seven...
707
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,833
eight...
708
00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:44,700
nine...
709
00:21:44,733 --> 00:21:47,433
ten.[BELL DINGS]
710
00:21:50,366 --> 00:21:53,366
People will kill each other
for a parking space in New York,
711
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,366
because they think,
"If I don't get this one,
712
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,866
I may never get a space,"
you know?
713
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,633
"I'll be circling for months
714
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:02,066
until somebody goes out
to the Hamptons."
715
00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:04,166
I think because everybody
in New York City
716
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,400
knows there's gotta be
way more cars
717
00:22:06,433 --> 00:22:08,233
than parking spaces.
718
00:22:08,266 --> 00:22:10,576
You see cars driving in New York
all hours of the night.
719
00:22:10,576 --> 00:22:11,700
You see cars driving in New York
all hours of the night.
720
00:22:11,733 --> 00:22:12,866
It's like musical chairs,
721
00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:15,333
except everybody sat down
around 1964.
722
00:22:15,366 --> 00:22:16,866
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
723
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:19,733
The problem is
car manufacturers are building
724
00:22:19,766 --> 00:22:21,866
hundreds of thousands
of new cars every year.
725
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,666
They're not making
any new spaces.
726
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:26,166
That's what they should be
working on.
727
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,166
Wouldn't that be great?
728
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,533
You go to the auto show,
729
00:22:28,566 --> 00:22:30,400
and they've got
that big revolving turntable,
730
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,400
and there's nothing on it.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
731
00:22:32,433 --> 00:22:34,566
"New from Chrysler, a space."
50625
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