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1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,137
Women put on their perfume
in an interesting way.
2
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,539
I love watching them do that.
Do you ever notice that, guys?
3
00:00:06,572 --> 00:00:10,509
They have those-- Their little
key, Stratego little areas.
4
00:00:10,542 --> 00:00:14,546
♪ And la-da-da dah ♪
5
00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:15,547
♪ Da-dah ♪
6
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,816
Places they think we're going.
7
00:00:17,849 --> 00:00:21,252
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
8
00:00:21,285 --> 00:00:22,886
And they always hit this one.
9
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,589
Women are convinced that this
10
00:00:25,623 --> 00:00:28,692
is the most action-packed area
11
00:00:28,726 --> 00:00:30,000
that could ever happen
in the dating world.
12
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,329
that could ever happen
in the dating world.
13
00:00:32,362 --> 00:00:34,531
What--? What is that, ladies?
What is happening here?
14
00:00:34,564 --> 00:00:37,366
Is that in case you slap the guy
or something?
15
00:00:37,399 --> 00:00:39,535
He still finds you intriguing?
16
00:00:39,568 --> 00:00:40,869
Dsh!
17
00:00:40,903 --> 00:00:42,238
"Oh! Chanel!"
18
00:00:46,374 --> 00:00:47,709
GEORGE:
She's a pianist,
19
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,945
a classical pianist!
She plays the piano!
20
00:00:50,979 --> 00:00:52,713
She-- She-- She's
a brilliant woman!
21
00:00:52,747 --> 00:00:56,016
I-I-I sat in her living room,
she played the Waldstein Sonata.
22
00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:57,017
The Waldstein!
23
00:00:57,051 --> 00:00:59,219
♪ Da da da da da da da da da ♪
24
00:00:59,253 --> 00:01:00,587
♪ Di da da da di ♪
25
00:01:00,620 --> 00:01:01,855
[LAUGHS]
26
00:01:01,888 --> 00:01:05,024
We-- W-We did a crossword
puzzle together in bed.
27
00:01:05,058 --> 00:01:07,426
It was the most fun I ever
had in my entire life!
28
00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:09,095
Do you hear me?
In my life!
29
00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:12,531
You know?
30
00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:13,502
Were you talking?
I couldn't hear anything.
31
00:01:13,502 --> 00:01:15,067
Were you talking?
I couldn't hear anything.
32
00:01:17,402 --> 00:01:18,870
I was telling you
about Noel.
33
00:01:18,903 --> 00:01:20,238
Oh, Noel, yeah.
34
00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:21,706
The one that plays
the bongos.
35
00:01:21,739 --> 00:01:24,341
[SARCASTICALLY]
Ha ha ha.
So sidesplittingly funny.
36
00:01:25,509 --> 00:01:27,912
All right, I'm sorry.
What about her?
37
00:01:27,945 --> 00:01:29,946
What, you think I'm gonna
repeat the whole thing now?
38
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,548
I know, you told me
you like her.
39
00:01:31,582 --> 00:01:34,217
Everything's going good.
No, everything's not going good.
40
00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:37,153
I'm very uncomfortable.
I have no power.
41
00:01:37,187 --> 00:01:38,588
Why should she have
the upper hand?
42
00:01:38,621 --> 00:01:40,390
Once in my life,
I'd like the upper hand.
43
00:01:40,423 --> 00:01:42,057
I have no hand,
no hand at all.
44
00:01:42,091 --> 00:01:43,502
She has the hand.
I have no hand.
45
00:01:43,502 --> 00:01:44,226
She has the hand.
I have no hand.
46
00:01:44,259 --> 00:01:46,661
Hand me that, would you?
Yeah.
47
00:01:46,695 --> 00:01:48,097
How do I get the hand?
48
00:01:48,130 --> 00:01:49,331
We all want the hand.
49
00:01:49,364 --> 00:01:50,899
Hand is tough to get.
50
00:01:50,932 --> 00:01:53,001
You gotta get the hand
right from the opening.
51
00:01:53,034 --> 00:01:54,335
She's playing a recital
this week
52
00:01:54,368 --> 00:01:57,004
at the McBierny School.
You wanna hear her play?
53
00:01:57,038 --> 00:01:59,006
I got two extra tickets.
You and Elaine could go.
54
00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,675
Yeah, that sounds like
something.
55
00:02:04,344 --> 00:02:07,013
Then afterwards, maybe we could
all go out together.
56
00:02:07,046 --> 00:02:09,015
You know, she'll see me
with my friends.
57
00:02:09,048 --> 00:02:11,618
She'll observe me as
I really am, as myself.
58
00:02:11,651 --> 00:02:13,502
Maybe I can get some hand
that way.
59
00:02:13,502 --> 00:02:14,053
Maybe I can get some hand
that way.
60
00:02:15,554 --> 00:02:17,122
Oh, hey.
Hey.
61
00:02:17,155 --> 00:02:18,324
Hey...
62
00:02:18,357 --> 00:02:19,491
smell my arm.
63
00:02:20,726 --> 00:02:22,093
What? No.
No, smell it. Smell it.
64
00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:23,728
With all due respect,
I don't think so.
65
00:02:24,629 --> 00:02:25,563
Jerry, smell.
66
00:02:26,531 --> 00:02:27,665
That smells good.
What is that?
67
00:02:27,698 --> 00:02:29,133
The beach.
68
00:02:29,166 --> 00:02:30,200
The beach?
Yeah.
69
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,936
Did you go swimming?
It's 29 degrees out.
70
00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:34,671
Nah, I just joined
the Polar Bear Club.
71
00:02:34,704 --> 00:02:35,805
You joined the Polar Bears?
72
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:37,374
Yes.
What the hell is a Polar Bear?
73
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,508
Well, it's these people,
they go swimming in the winter.
74
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:41,978
They're-- They're terrific.
I just took my first swim today.
75
00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:43,502
Ooh-ooh uh a-a-a-ah!
76
00:02:43,502 --> 00:02:43,612
Ooh-ooh uh a-a-a-ah!
77
00:02:43,646 --> 00:02:45,381
It's invigorating.
Yeah...
78
00:02:45,414 --> 00:02:48,516
So is shock therapy.
[LAUGHS]
79
00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:50,352
What is that, a PEZ dispenser?
Yeah.
80
00:02:50,385 --> 00:02:52,654
Do you want one? Take it.
Hey.
81
00:02:52,687 --> 00:02:55,022
I just bought it
at the flea market. You want?
82
00:02:55,056 --> 00:02:57,725
Hey, what goes on there,
exactly?
83
00:02:57,759 --> 00:02:59,326
You don't know?
84
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,329
No, I-I-- I know.
I know.
85
00:03:02,363 --> 00:03:05,699
You think they have fleas there,
don't you?
86
00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:06,867
No.
87
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:08,001
Yes, you do, Biff.
88
00:03:11,037 --> 00:03:12,372
You've never been
to a flea market,
89
00:03:12,405 --> 00:03:13,502
and you think
they have fleas there.
90
00:03:13,502 --> 00:03:13,806
and you think
they have fleas there.
91
00:03:13,839 --> 00:03:16,341
All right, I think
they have fleas there. So what?
92
00:03:16,375 --> 00:03:18,343
Hey, you want this?
Oh, you don't want it?
93
00:03:18,377 --> 00:03:19,511
No, I bought
five of them.
94
00:03:19,544 --> 00:03:21,613
Oh, great. Thanks.
95
00:03:24,849 --> 00:03:26,184
I don't know how
anyone does this.
96
00:03:26,217 --> 00:03:29,253
This must be
so nerve-racking.
97
00:03:29,287 --> 00:03:30,888
How do they warm up
their fingers?
98
00:03:30,921 --> 00:03:33,324
They have a piano backstage
they warm up on.
99
00:03:33,357 --> 00:03:34,825
No. We would have
heard it.
100
00:03:34,858 --> 00:03:36,026
What do you think?
101
00:03:36,059 --> 00:03:37,660
They just crack their knuckles
and come out?
102
00:03:37,694 --> 00:03:39,429
I told her we'd all
go out afterwards, okay?
103
00:03:39,462 --> 00:03:40,863
Mm-hmm.
Sure.
104
00:03:40,897 --> 00:03:42,665
Don't applaud when she
stops playing the first time.
105
00:03:42,699 --> 00:03:43,502
It's not over yet.
106
00:03:43,502 --> 00:03:44,200
It's not over yet.
107
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:45,668
I really resent that.
108
00:03:45,702 --> 00:03:47,369
That's directed at me,
isn't it?
109
00:03:47,403 --> 00:03:49,738
[CLAPPING]
110
00:03:51,307 --> 00:03:52,674
Is this okay?
111
00:03:52,708 --> 00:03:53,609
Can I do this?
112
00:04:23,235 --> 00:04:24,736
[ELAINE SNORTS]
113
00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:30,575
[GIGGLES]
114
00:04:34,311 --> 00:04:36,113
[ELAINE STIFLING LAUGHS]
115
00:04:38,515 --> 00:04:39,783
Ssssh.
116
00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:41,151
[CHUCKLING]
Joe Gibbs--
117
00:04:48,524 --> 00:04:50,860
[LAUGHING]
118
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,145
Oh, God.
119
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,502
Something I said?
120
00:05:13,502 --> 00:05:13,880
Something I said?
121
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,984
It's... John Mollica.
122
00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:19,819
Oh. Oh, John.
123
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:21,920
Oh, hi, John.
124
00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:23,289
Hi.
125
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,490
What are you doing
out here?
126
00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,992
Oh, I was just at
this recital and...
127
00:05:27,025 --> 00:05:30,828
Jerry put this PEZ dispenser
on my leg,
128
00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:33,864
and I just
started laughing.
129
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:35,766
Oh, Jerry's in there?
Yeah.
130
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,001
I heard you guys
broke up.
131
00:05:37,034 --> 00:05:38,102
We did. We did.
132
00:05:38,135 --> 00:05:39,303
We-- We're just
hanging out.
133
00:05:39,336 --> 00:05:40,470
Really?
134
00:05:40,504 --> 00:05:41,605
Boy...
135
00:05:41,638 --> 00:05:42,672
you...
136
00:05:42,706 --> 00:05:43,502
really look great.
137
00:05:43,502 --> 00:05:45,475
really look great.
138
00:05:45,509 --> 00:05:48,044
Oh. Thank you.
139
00:05:57,185 --> 00:06:00,288
Hey, are you still friends
with Richie, um, Appel?
140
00:06:00,322 --> 00:06:02,123
Oh, Richie?
He's been doing comedy
141
00:06:02,156 --> 00:06:03,691
in L.A.
for a couple of years.
142
00:06:03,725 --> 00:06:05,326
He just got back
a month ago.
143
00:06:05,359 --> 00:06:08,495
He's kind of messed up
on drugs.
144
00:06:08,529 --> 00:06:09,663
Ooh.
145
00:06:09,696 --> 00:06:11,498
I don't know what to do
for the guy.
146
00:06:11,532 --> 00:06:13,166
Have you thought
about an intervention?
147
00:06:13,199 --> 00:06:13,502
What's that?
148
00:06:13,502 --> 00:06:14,367
What's that?
149
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,502
You know, you get
all his friends in a room,
150
00:06:16,536 --> 00:06:19,039
and they confront him
to try to get him into rehab.
151
00:06:19,072 --> 00:06:21,173
It's a very
popular thing now.
152
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,876
Well, he'd never
listen to anyone.
153
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:25,510
Oh.
154
00:06:25,544 --> 00:06:28,147
Except, of course,
Jerry.
155
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,515
He'd listen to Jerry.
156
00:06:30,549 --> 00:06:34,318
Jerry would have to
be involved.
157
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:38,489
He really respects Jerry.
158
00:06:38,522 --> 00:06:40,624
[APPLAUSE]
159
00:06:45,362 --> 00:06:48,165
I'm sorry, George.
I'm sorry.
160
00:06:48,198 --> 00:06:49,566
What did you put
the PEZ dispenser
161
00:06:49,599 --> 00:06:51,167
on her leg for
in the first place?
162
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,568
I don't know.
It was an impulse.
163
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,770
What kind of
a sick impulse is that?
164
00:06:56,305 --> 00:06:58,340
How could I know
she'd start to laugh?
165
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,575
ELAINE [CHUCKLING]:
I'm sorry.
166
00:06:59,608 --> 00:07:01,276
I'm sorry. I am.
167
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:03,444
Could we just
go in already?
168
00:07:03,478 --> 00:07:04,679
What are we
gonna tell her?
169
00:07:04,712 --> 00:07:06,447
I'll tell her I was
the one who laughed.
170
00:07:06,481 --> 00:07:08,015
No, don't say a word.
171
00:07:08,048 --> 00:07:10,384
If she thinks my friends
are jerks, then I'm a jerk.
172
00:07:12,419 --> 00:07:13,502
Oh. Remind me to talk to you
about something later.
173
00:07:13,502 --> 00:07:14,388
Oh. Remind me to talk to you
about something later.
174
00:07:14,421 --> 00:07:15,389
What about?
Hey, hey hey.
175
00:07:15,422 --> 00:07:16,890
We're discussing something.
176
00:07:16,923 --> 00:07:19,125
I know, but I'm
distracted now.
177
00:07:19,158 --> 00:07:20,927
Oh, what are you,
a baby?
178
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,628
All right, tell him.
179
00:07:22,661 --> 00:07:25,564
When I was outside,
I ran into John Mollica.
180
00:07:25,598 --> 00:07:27,433
Really? John Mollica?
Yeah.
181
00:07:27,466 --> 00:07:29,802
The guy that used to bartend
at the comedy club.
182
00:07:29,835 --> 00:07:31,469
How's he doing?
He's good.
183
00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:33,705
Uh, could we
cut to the chase?
184
00:07:33,738 --> 00:07:35,173
"Cut to the chase"?
185
00:07:36,508 --> 00:07:37,542
Yeah.
Well, what are you,
186
00:07:37,575 --> 00:07:39,010
Joe Hollywood?
187
00:07:40,511 --> 00:07:42,213
A lot of people say it.
188
00:07:42,246 --> 00:07:43,414
I would lose that.
189
00:07:43,447 --> 00:07:43,502
Ah... What's that?
190
00:07:43,502 --> 00:07:45,749
Ah... What's that?
191
00:07:45,782 --> 00:07:48,218
"Lose that"? That's not
a Hollywood expression.
192
00:07:48,251 --> 00:07:50,186
Yes, it is.
193
00:07:51,187 --> 00:07:53,323
Anyway.
194
00:07:53,356 --> 00:07:56,459
So John told me that Richie
is in town from Los Angeles
195
00:07:56,492 --> 00:07:58,493
and he's really
messed up on drugs.
196
00:07:58,527 --> 00:08:00,795
So I told him he should do
an intervention.
197
00:08:00,829 --> 00:08:02,131
Really?
An intervention?
198
00:08:02,164 --> 00:08:04,132
You know, you people, we got
a situation over here!
199
00:08:04,165 --> 00:08:06,668
Yeah... But he wants you
to be a part of it.
200
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:07,769
Why me?
201
00:08:07,802 --> 00:08:09,303
He says Richie really
respects you,
202
00:08:09,337 --> 00:08:10,938
and he would
listen to you.
203
00:08:10,971 --> 00:08:13,502
Boy, these things are
really hard to load.
204
00:08:13,502 --> 00:08:14,141
Boy, these things are
really hard to load.
205
00:08:17,978 --> 00:08:19,312
All right, okay,
all right.
206
00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:20,313
I'm going in.
207
00:08:21,481 --> 00:08:23,182
All right, we got to
talk about this.
208
00:08:23,215 --> 00:08:24,651
All right.
209
00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:25,852
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
210
00:08:28,554 --> 00:08:31,490
Hi. Hi. Hi.
Oh, no.
211
00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:34,660
You were wonderful. Wonderful.
Oh, no, no.
212
00:08:34,693 --> 00:08:37,262
Oh, these are my friends,
Elaine and Jerry. Noel.
213
00:08:37,295 --> 00:08:38,863
You play
a hell of a piano.
214
00:08:40,831 --> 00:08:43,300
Yeah, I was really moved.
Really moved.
215
00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:43,502
Well, didn't you hear
that person laughing?
216
00:08:43,502 --> 00:08:45,870
Well, didn't you hear
that person laughing?
217
00:08:45,903 --> 00:08:48,972
I couldn't play.
I was humiliated!
218
00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:50,974
Well, I'm sure
it wasn't at you.
219
00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:52,976
Well, then what was
she laughing at?
220
00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:54,210
PEZ?
221
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,979
Uh, no,
thank you.
222
00:08:57,146 --> 00:08:58,681
Did you see her?
223
00:08:58,714 --> 00:08:59,682
Yeah. Me?
224
00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:00,983
No. I-I...
225
00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:02,885
Anyone who would laugh
at a recital
226
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,487
is probably some sort of
lunatic, anyway.
227
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,290
I mean, only a sick,
twisted mind...
228
00:09:08,323 --> 00:09:10,992
could be that rude
and ignorant.
229
00:09:11,025 --> 00:09:12,660
Well, you know,
maybe some...
230
00:09:12,694 --> 00:09:13,502
mental defective
231
00:09:13,502 --> 00:09:14,328
mental defective
232
00:09:14,361 --> 00:09:17,731
put something stupid
on her leg.
233
00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:21,668
Even if this so-called
mental defective...
234
00:09:21,702 --> 00:09:23,236
did put something
on her leg,
235
00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:24,670
Uh-huh.
she's still the one who laughed.
236
00:09:25,605 --> 00:09:27,307
I'll never forget
that laugh
237
00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:29,509
for the rest
of my life.
238
00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:34,013
Well, I-I'm sure she would
apologize if she could.
239
00:09:35,947 --> 00:09:38,016
Probably someone
is holding her back
240
00:09:38,049 --> 00:09:40,885
maybe against every fiber
of her being.
241
00:09:40,919 --> 00:09:43,502
Well, if she wants to continue
to have a fiber of her being,
242
00:09:43,502 --> 00:09:43,687
Well, if she wants to continue
to have a fiber of her being,
243
00:09:43,721 --> 00:09:44,755
she'll be very careful.
244
00:09:44,788 --> 00:09:45,756
Don't hit me.
Stop it.
245
00:09:45,789 --> 00:09:46,857
Come on.
Stop it.
246
00:09:47,425 --> 00:09:48,659
Um...
247
00:09:48,692 --> 00:09:49,660
All right.
So, uh...
248
00:09:49,693 --> 00:09:50,994
you ready?
We'll, uh...
249
00:09:51,028 --> 00:09:53,363
We'll go out, and we'll
have a bite to eat.
250
00:09:53,396 --> 00:09:56,566
I... don't feel
like it tonight.
251
00:09:56,599 --> 00:09:58,034
Uh...
We'll be outside.
252
00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,035
Yeah.
253
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:00,236
It was nice meeting you.
254
00:10:00,269 --> 00:10:02,271
Oh. Mm-hmm.
By the way, how do you, uh,
255
00:10:02,304 --> 00:10:04,673
warm up your fingers
before you play?
256
00:10:04,706 --> 00:10:05,907
I just crack my knuckles.
257
00:10:07,609 --> 00:10:09,745
GEORGE:
Come on, we'll
have a good time.
258
00:10:09,778 --> 00:10:11,112
Well, I'm really
not in the mood.
259
00:10:11,146 --> 00:10:12,280
Aw, come on.
260
00:10:12,313 --> 00:10:13,502
I said, I don't
feel like it.
261
00:10:13,502 --> 00:10:16,150
I said, I don't
feel like it.
262
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:23,022
Um, all right.
Uh...
263
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,124
I-- I-I'll--
I'll call you.
264
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,727
Uh, I'll call you,
and, uh...
265
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,228
we'll talk
on the phone.
266
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,263
Have a...
267
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,630
telephone communiqué.
268
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,632
[LAUGHS]
Um...
269
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:35,868
So, fine. Everything's fine.
Everything good?
270
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,703
Good. I feel good.
Fine.
271
00:10:37,736 --> 00:10:39,237
That's fine. That's good.
272
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,205
Okay.
273
00:10:40,238 --> 00:10:41,206
Okey-doke.
274
00:10:41,239 --> 00:10:42,139
[DOOR SHUTS]
275
00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:49,913
You know, I think Kramer might
have been indirectly responsible
276
00:10:49,946 --> 00:10:52,483
for getting Richie involved
in drugs in the first place.
277
00:10:52,516 --> 00:10:54,117
What? How?
278
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:56,719
A few years ago, the comedy club
had a softball team.
279
00:10:56,753 --> 00:10:58,621
Kramer was our first baseman.
Uh-huh.
280
00:10:58,654 --> 00:11:00,956
You couldn't get anything
by him. He was unbelievable.
281
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:03,659
Yeah.
Anyway, this one game,
282
00:11:03,693 --> 00:11:06,261
we came back to win from,
like, eight runs behind.
283
00:11:06,295 --> 00:11:08,430
Mm-hmm.
So Kramer says to Richie,
284
00:11:08,463 --> 00:11:10,299
"Why don't you dump
the bucket of Gatorade
285
00:11:10,332 --> 00:11:11,966
on Marty Benson's head?"
286
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,184
The club owner.
Yeah.
287
00:11:13,184 --> 00:11:14,135
The club owner.
Yeah.
288
00:11:14,168 --> 00:11:17,671
So Richie goes ahead
and does it.
289
00:11:17,705 --> 00:11:19,573
So? What happened?
What happened?
290
00:11:19,607 --> 00:11:22,142
The guy was, like, 67 years old.
It was freezing out.
291
00:11:22,175 --> 00:11:23,911
He caught a cold,
developed pneumonia,
292
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,212
a month later,
he was dead.
293
00:11:26,046 --> 00:11:27,314
Shut up.
294
00:11:29,449 --> 00:11:30,983
All the comedians
were happy
295
00:11:31,017 --> 00:11:32,418
because he's one of
these club owners
296
00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:33,786
nobody liked,
anyway.
297
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:35,687
But Richie was
never the same.
298
00:11:35,721 --> 00:11:36,922
What about Kramer?
299
00:11:36,955 --> 00:11:38,657
He's the same.
300
00:11:40,626 --> 00:11:42,293
JERRY:
Are you sure you want me, John?
301
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,184
I mean, I haven't spoken
to Richie in two years.
302
00:11:43,184 --> 00:11:45,363
I mean, I haven't spoken
to Richie in two years.
303
00:11:45,396 --> 00:11:48,699
I don't have a good apartment
for an intervention.
304
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:52,536
The furniture,
it's very nonconfrontational.
305
00:11:52,569 --> 00:11:54,804
All right,
all right.
306
00:11:54,838 --> 00:11:55,972
Goodbye.
307
00:11:56,005 --> 00:11:57,707
Remember Richie Appel?
308
00:11:57,741 --> 00:11:58,875
Oh, sure.
309
00:11:58,908 --> 00:12:00,644
The guy I told to pour
the Gatorade
310
00:12:00,677 --> 00:12:02,345
that killed
Marty Benson.
311
00:12:05,248 --> 00:12:07,215
Right. Well, John Mollica
is organizing
312
00:12:07,249 --> 00:12:09,652
some kind of intervention
for him. We're having it here.
313
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:11,686
Can I get in on that?
314
00:12:12,921 --> 00:12:13,184
What do you think,
it's like a poker game?
315
00:12:13,184 --> 00:12:14,722
What do you think,
it's like a poker game?
316
00:12:16,057 --> 00:12:17,659
Is Elaine going?
Yeah.
317
00:12:17,692 --> 00:12:19,694
Well, I knew him
as well as she did.
318
00:12:19,727 --> 00:12:21,295
Yeah, but John invited her.
319
00:12:21,328 --> 00:12:23,664
So wait. What're you saying?
You don't want me to intervene?
320
00:12:23,697 --> 00:12:26,533
No, intervene, go ahead.
Intervene all you want.
321
00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,635
I'm just afraid
you might be interfering
322
00:12:28,669 --> 00:12:30,036
while we're intervening.
323
00:12:31,237 --> 00:12:32,505
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
324
00:12:34,006 --> 00:12:35,308
Yeah?
It's George.
325
00:12:35,341 --> 00:12:36,976
Come on up.
326
00:12:37,009 --> 00:12:40,312
Stop smelling your arm!
327
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,381
You know, I got a great idea
for a cologne.
328
00:12:42,414 --> 00:12:43,184
It's called "The Beach."
329
00:12:43,184 --> 00:12:44,015
It's called "The Beach."
330
00:12:44,048 --> 00:12:45,384
You spray it on,
331
00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,418
and it's just like you came home
from the beach.
332
00:12:47,451 --> 00:12:50,021
Hmm. A cologne that smells
like the beach.
333
00:12:50,054 --> 00:12:52,323
I can't believe
I'm saying this...
334
00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:54,892
but that's not
a bad idea.
335
00:12:55,959 --> 00:12:57,928
Tell me about it.
336
00:12:57,961 --> 00:12:59,562
Why don't you call
Steve D'Giff?
337
00:12:59,596 --> 00:13:00,997
He works in
the marketing department
338
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:02,265
at Calvin Klein.
Yeah.
339
00:13:02,299 --> 00:13:03,933
In fact,
he's a good friend
340
00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:06,068
of John Mollica
and Richie, also.
341
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:07,469
Okay.
342
00:13:08,804 --> 00:13:11,607
Well, it's over.
It's definitely over.
343
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:12,908
She broke up with you?
No,
344
00:13:12,941 --> 00:13:13,184
but she's going to.
345
00:13:13,184 --> 00:13:13,942
but she's going to.
346
00:13:13,975 --> 00:13:15,443
I can sense it.
We had this
347
00:13:15,476 --> 00:13:17,445
terrible phone conversation.
348
00:13:17,478 --> 00:13:18,846
I was so nervous
before I called,
349
00:13:18,879 --> 00:13:21,048
I made up this whole list
of things to talk about.
350
00:13:21,081 --> 00:13:22,116
What was on the list?
351
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,183
Uh...
352
00:13:23,217 --> 00:13:24,218
Let's see.
353
00:13:25,552 --> 00:13:28,155
"I'm very good at going
in reverse in my car."
354
00:13:31,124 --> 00:13:33,593
"Why isn't Postum
a more popular drink?"
355
00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:40,266
Yeah, Postum
is underrated.
356
00:13:40,299 --> 00:13:42,267
Anyway, there was
all this tension.
357
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:43,184
I asked her if she wanted
to go out to dinner
358
00:13:43,184 --> 00:13:44,469
I asked her if she wanted
to go out to dinner
359
00:13:44,502 --> 00:13:46,904
and she said, "No, maybe we
could get together for lunch."
360
00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,106
Ha, you know
what that means.
361
00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:49,441
What's wrong with lunch?
362
00:13:49,474 --> 00:13:50,875
Lunch is fine
at the beginning,
363
00:13:50,908 --> 00:13:52,076
then you move on
to dinner.
364
00:13:52,109 --> 00:13:53,277
You don't go back
to lunch.
365
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,612
It's like
being demoted.
366
00:13:55,646 --> 00:13:57,148
I'll never do
another crossword puzzle
367
00:13:57,181 --> 00:13:58,382
with her again,
I know it.
368
00:13:58,415 --> 00:14:01,985
I like the jumble.
You ever do the jumble?
369
00:14:02,018 --> 00:14:03,119
I have no power,
370
00:14:03,153 --> 00:14:04,120
don't you understand?
371
00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:06,122
I need hand!
I have no hand!
372
00:14:06,156 --> 00:14:07,790
Why don't you
break up with her?
373
00:14:07,823 --> 00:14:09,459
What?
You break up with her.
374
00:14:09,492 --> 00:14:11,060
You reverse everything that way.
375
00:14:11,093 --> 00:14:13,184
Hmm, a preemptive breakup.
376
00:14:13,184 --> 00:14:13,996
Hmm, a preemptive breakup.
377
00:14:15,764 --> 00:14:18,567
A preemptive breakup.
Mm?
378
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,670
This is an incredible idea.
Yeah.
379
00:14:23,804 --> 00:14:26,073
I got nothing to lose.
Yeah.
380
00:14:26,106 --> 00:14:28,141
We either break up,
which she would do anyway,
381
00:14:28,175 --> 00:14:30,277
but at least I go out
with some dignity,
382
00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:32,245
or I completely
turn the tables!
383
00:14:32,279 --> 00:14:33,280
Yeah.
384
00:14:33,313 --> 00:14:35,948
This is absolutely brilliant!
385
00:14:35,982 --> 00:14:39,118
GEORGE:
So I'm afraid that I...
386
00:14:39,151 --> 00:14:41,520
am gonna have tobreak up with you.
387
00:14:44,056 --> 00:14:46,625
You're breaking up with me?
Yes.
388
00:14:47,025 --> 00:14:48,727
I...
389
00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:51,429
am breaking up
with you.
390
00:14:51,462 --> 00:14:52,930
[GASPS]
391
00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:53,964
Wow.
392
00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:55,766
Shocked?
I really am.
393
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,968
Never expected this,
did you?
394
00:14:58,002 --> 00:14:59,770
I thought
everything was fine.
395
00:14:59,804 --> 00:15:00,938
Well, live and learn.
396
00:15:00,971 --> 00:15:02,206
[CHUCKLES]
397
00:15:04,574 --> 00:15:07,476
Well, I don't understand.
You didn't enjoy being with me?
398
00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:09,478
Didn't we have fun
doing the crossword puzzle?
399
00:15:10,179 --> 00:15:11,380
Kind of.
400
00:15:11,414 --> 00:15:13,184
[SIGHS]
I'm very confused.
401
00:15:13,184 --> 00:15:13,616
[SIGHS]
I'm very confused.
402
00:15:13,649 --> 00:15:15,217
Well, I didn't mean
to hurt you, kid.
403
00:15:16,719 --> 00:15:19,387
I thought--
N-Now, stop it, please. This--
404
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:22,657
What do you want?
I know I can make you happy.
405
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,296
When-- When you're
playing the piano...
406
00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:31,065
do you think about me?
407
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:32,499
Nnnn...
I don't know.
408
00:15:32,533 --> 00:15:33,700
This is what
I'm talking about.
409
00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:36,703
Okay. I'll think
about you.
410
00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:38,538
All the time?
All the time?
411
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,573
You know--
Okay.
412
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,574
All the time.
413
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,808
I can't hear you.
414
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:43,184
All the time!
415
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:44,276
All the time!
416
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:46,879
See?
417
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,080
It's not so hard.
418
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,249
KRAMER:
Go ahead.
419
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,417
Smell. Smell it.
420
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:54,052
[SNIFFS]
421
00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:55,920
Yeah? So?
Okay, now you recognize it?
422
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:57,588
I don't know.
423
00:15:57,621 --> 00:15:59,057
The beach.
424
00:16:00,424 --> 00:16:01,759
What are you talking about?
Oh,
425
00:16:01,792 --> 00:16:03,561
I'm talking about
the beach.
426
00:16:04,561 --> 00:16:05,462
What about it?
427
00:16:06,729 --> 00:16:08,698
You know
the way you smell...
428
00:16:08,731 --> 00:16:13,035
when you first come home
from the beach?
429
00:16:13,069 --> 00:16:13,184
Well, I want to
make a cologne...
430
00:16:13,184 --> 00:16:15,171
Well, I want to
make a cologne...
431
00:16:15,204 --> 00:16:17,039
that captures...
432
00:16:17,073 --> 00:16:18,507
the essence...
433
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,342
of that smell.
434
00:16:20,376 --> 00:16:22,177
Oh, yeah.
435
00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:24,579
That is the dumbest idea
I've ever heard.
436
00:16:24,612 --> 00:16:25,746
Whoa.
437
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:26,881
Wait a minute.
438
00:16:26,914 --> 00:16:28,216
You.
439
00:16:28,249 --> 00:16:30,685
Did you hear
what I just said?
440
00:16:30,718 --> 00:16:33,687
You think people are gonna
pay $80 a bottle
441
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:34,754
to smell like, uh...
442
00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:36,223
dead fish and seaweed?
443
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:37,357
Mm-hmm.
444
00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:38,625
That's why people
take showers
445
00:16:38,658 --> 00:16:40,426
when they come home
from the beach.
446
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:43,184
It's an objectionable,
offensive odor.
447
00:16:43,184 --> 00:16:45,431
It's an objectionable,
offensive odor.
448
00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:48,601
So you don't think
that it's a good idea, hm?
449
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:50,268
[MUMBLES]
450
00:16:52,437 --> 00:16:56,708
The membranes get dry,
and it just starts bleeding.
451
00:16:56,741 --> 00:17:01,445
Since I was a kid, so I have to
stick a tissue up there.
452
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,480
Uh-huh.
453
00:17:03,514 --> 00:17:05,482
You have to...
work like that?
454
00:17:05,516 --> 00:17:08,418
Yeah. Nobody minds.
455
00:17:08,451 --> 00:17:11,654
Nobody's ever
said anything to me.
456
00:17:11,687 --> 00:17:12,922
There any ice cubes?
457
00:17:12,955 --> 00:17:13,184
Uh, whatever's
in the freezer.
458
00:17:13,184 --> 00:17:14,090
Uh, whatever's
in the freezer.
459
00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:16,091
I looked.
I don't see any ice cubes.
460
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:18,093
Well, then I guess
there's no ice cubes.
461
00:17:18,127 --> 00:17:19,461
I can't drink this.
462
00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:20,629
It's warm.
463
00:17:20,662 --> 00:17:21,964
[SLAM]
464
00:17:25,266 --> 00:17:26,267
Hey, John,
465
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,435
shouldn't we rehearse
this a little
466
00:17:27,468 --> 00:17:28,469
before Richie comes?
467
00:17:28,502 --> 00:17:29,470
What's the plan?
468
00:17:29,503 --> 00:17:30,471
Do I have to talk?
469
00:17:30,504 --> 00:17:31,472
I don't feel like talking.
470
00:17:31,505 --> 00:17:32,673
Well, if he's not
gonna talk,
471
00:17:32,706 --> 00:17:33,674
then I don't want to.
472
00:17:33,707 --> 00:17:35,409
No, we all have to talk!
473
00:17:35,443 --> 00:17:37,410
What's the order?
We'll go in alphabetical order.
474
00:17:37,444 --> 00:17:39,246
You're first, Roberta.
Why am I first?
475
00:17:39,279 --> 00:17:41,514
Albano's your last name.
That's not my name anymore.
476
00:17:41,548 --> 00:17:43,149
I'm divorced.
I'll go first.
477
00:17:43,182 --> 00:17:43,184
Oh. Hey.
478
00:17:43,184 --> 00:17:44,584
Oh. Hey.
479
00:17:44,617 --> 00:17:46,118
Hey.
Is this the interference?
480
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,119
Intervention.
481
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,120
What are you
doing here?
482
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,488
Oh, uh, is it all right
483
00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:51,423
if I stay for the intervention?
He can't stay.
484
00:17:51,457 --> 00:17:53,292
This is for close friends only.
485
00:17:53,325 --> 00:17:54,460
Hey, I'm a friend.
486
00:17:54,493 --> 00:17:55,761
Who do you think
told him
487
00:17:55,794 --> 00:17:57,796
to pour the Gatorade
over Marty Benson's head?
488
00:17:57,829 --> 00:17:59,630
Oh, let him stay.
Yeah.
489
00:18:00,798 --> 00:18:02,633
Hey, you know, I got
somebody to make up
490
00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:03,768
that cologne for me,
bigmouth.
491
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:05,936
Somebody's gonna
make that crap?
492
00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:06,937
Kramer!
493
00:18:06,971 --> 00:18:08,338
Hey, hey, you guys!
494
00:18:08,372 --> 00:18:09,773
All right!
Hey, come on in.
495
00:18:09,806 --> 00:18:11,541
Hey, these are some of
my Polar Bear buddies.
496
00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:12,876
They can't stay.
497
00:18:12,909 --> 00:18:13,184
You're having a party here?
498
00:18:13,184 --> 00:18:14,277
You're having a party here?
499
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,045
No, we're having
an intervention.
500
00:18:16,079 --> 00:18:18,147
An intervention?
501
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,348
Who's intervening?
502
00:18:19,382 --> 00:18:20,716
He's a friend of ours
on drugs,
503
00:18:20,749 --> 00:18:21,884
and we're gonna
confront him.
504
00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,318
Oh, sure.
505
00:18:23,351 --> 00:18:26,554
We used to do that when one of
our Polar Bears stopped coming.
506
00:18:26,588 --> 00:18:27,889
We'd go to his house,
507
00:18:27,922 --> 00:18:30,191
"What, you don't wanna be
a Polar Bear anymore?
508
00:18:30,225 --> 00:18:32,059
It's too cold for you?"
509
00:18:32,093 --> 00:18:33,060
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
510
00:18:33,094 --> 00:18:34,661
It's him!
What do we do?
511
00:18:34,695 --> 00:18:35,596
Hide!
512
00:18:36,930 --> 00:18:40,501
It's not a surprise party!
513
00:18:40,534 --> 00:18:41,635
Yeah?
It's George.
514
00:18:41,668 --> 00:18:43,184
Come on up.
515
00:18:43,184 --> 00:18:43,704
Come on up.
516
00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:44,737
It's not him.
517
00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:46,072
[MUTTERING]
518
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:47,473
You don't wanna
go out with me
519
00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:49,475
because I'm a bartender,
right?
520
00:18:49,509 --> 00:18:50,510
Look...
521
00:18:50,543 --> 00:18:51,711
you know,
I don't really think
522
00:18:51,744 --> 00:18:53,512
that this is appropriate
right now.
523
00:18:54,713 --> 00:18:57,382
Is it because I have
a tissue in my nose?
524
00:18:58,182 --> 00:18:59,484
You're getting warm.
525
00:18:59,518 --> 00:19:00,985
Hey, we just...
526
00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:03,554
We just came from, uh,
Chadway's. What's going on?
527
00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:05,823
We're having the intervention.
We're waiting for Richie.
528
00:19:05,856 --> 00:19:07,525
Oh, right, right.
The intervention.
529
00:19:07,558 --> 00:19:08,526
Um...
530
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:10,160
Should we leave?
531
00:19:10,193 --> 00:19:12,529
Well, uh, I--
Elaine, hi.
532
00:19:12,562 --> 00:19:13,184
Hi, Noel.
533
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:14,264
Hi, Noel.
534
00:19:14,297 --> 00:19:16,266
Well, you're
looking well.
535
00:19:16,299 --> 00:19:18,234
Jerry, let me
tell you something.
536
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:21,938
A man without hand
is not a man.
537
00:19:21,971 --> 00:19:25,207
I've got so much hand,
I'm coming out my gloves.
538
00:19:25,241 --> 00:19:26,608
I got to thank Kramer.
539
00:19:26,642 --> 00:19:28,944
Even if I were dragged
through manure...
540
00:19:28,977 --> 00:19:30,611
I still wouldn't put
that stuff on.
541
00:19:30,645 --> 00:19:34,082
This man is a genius!
A genius!
542
00:19:34,115 --> 00:19:36,417
You think so?
No, I don't think so, I know so.
543
00:19:36,451 --> 00:19:38,052
Come here. I gotta talk to you.
What?
544
00:19:38,085 --> 00:19:41,121
The male kangaroo
doesn't have a pouch.
545
00:19:41,155 --> 00:19:43,184
Only the female
has it,
546
00:19:43,184 --> 00:19:43,523
Only the female
has it,
547
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,592
so the male
has pouch envy!
548
00:19:45,625 --> 00:19:46,993
[CHUCKLES]
549
00:19:48,127 --> 00:19:50,897
"Why should she have
this huge pouch,
550
00:19:50,930 --> 00:19:52,731
"and I have nothing?
551
00:19:52,765 --> 00:19:55,634
"I have things
to carry too.
552
00:19:57,335 --> 00:19:59,905
At least-- At least
give me a pocket."
553
00:19:59,938 --> 00:20:02,940
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
554
00:20:02,974 --> 00:20:05,610
[LAUGHS]
555
00:20:11,848 --> 00:20:13,184
[COUGHS]
556
00:20:13,184 --> 00:20:13,617
[COUGHS]
557
00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:15,085
That laugh.
558
00:20:15,118 --> 00:20:16,720
That's the laugh.
559
00:20:16,753 --> 00:20:18,088
That's it!
560
00:20:18,121 --> 00:20:19,422
You're the one!
561
00:20:19,455 --> 00:20:21,091
No, no.
No, it was an accident.
562
00:20:21,124 --> 00:20:22,792
It w-wasn't my fault!
563
00:20:22,825 --> 00:20:23,926
It was Jerry!
564
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:26,796
Jerry put a PEZ dispenser
on my leg!
565
00:20:26,829 --> 00:20:30,899
You put a PEZ dispenser
on her leg during my recital?
566
00:20:30,932 --> 00:20:32,401
I didn't know
she would laugh.
567
00:20:32,434 --> 00:20:33,602
And, you.
568
00:20:33,635 --> 00:20:36,604
You lied to me, George.
You lied to me!
569
00:20:36,637 --> 00:20:37,638
N-n-no, no.
I-I-I d-d-didn't.
570
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:39,773
W-w-w-what--?
What did I do?
571
00:20:41,141 --> 00:20:42,676
What--? Where are
you going?
572
00:20:43,944 --> 00:20:44,978
I...
573
00:20:45,012 --> 00:20:46,079
am breaking up...
574
00:20:46,113 --> 00:20:48,915
with you.
Whoa, whoa, wait.
575
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,683
You can't break up
with me.
576
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,418
I-I've got hand!
577
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,121
And you're gonna
need it.
578
00:20:57,989 --> 00:21:00,559
Noel. Noel!
579
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,729
Hey, Richie!
Hey, Richie.
580
00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:06,697
So, what's going on?
581
00:21:07,898 --> 00:21:09,467
JERRY:
So we start the intervention,
582
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,036
and it's pretty ugly
from the get-go.
583
00:21:12,069 --> 00:21:13,184
He's not listening,
584
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:13,203
He's not listening,
585
00:21:13,237 --> 00:21:14,204
he's hostile,
586
00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:15,539
he's talking back.
587
00:21:15,572 --> 00:21:18,174
I can't do these puzzles.
588
00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:20,143
So he starts to get up.
589
00:21:20,176 --> 00:21:21,444
Suddenly...
590
00:21:21,477 --> 00:21:24,013
he spots the PEZ dispenser
on the coffee table.
591
00:21:24,047 --> 00:21:26,649
[CHUCKLES]
The PEZ dispenser.
592
00:21:26,682 --> 00:21:28,016
He picks it up,
593
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:29,385
he's staring at it.
594
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,553
It's like
he's hypnotized by it.
595
00:21:31,586 --> 00:21:34,522
Then he's telling us this story
about how when he was a kid,
596
00:21:34,556 --> 00:21:36,391
he was in the car
with his father
597
00:21:36,424 --> 00:21:38,793
and his father was trying
to load one of them.
598
00:21:38,826 --> 00:21:39,861
Well, they're
hard to load.
599
00:21:39,894 --> 00:21:41,528
Tell me something
I don't know.
600
00:21:44,031 --> 00:21:46,200
So as the father's
trying to load it,
601
00:21:46,233 --> 00:21:48,201
he loses control
of the car,
602
00:21:48,234 --> 00:21:50,403
crashes into
a high school cafeteria.
603
00:21:50,436 --> 00:21:52,172
Get out.
Nobody's hurt,
604
00:21:52,205 --> 00:21:54,874
but PEZ was all over
the car.
605
00:21:54,907 --> 00:21:56,842
And the dispenser
was destroyed
606
00:21:56,876 --> 00:21:59,178
virtually
beyond recognition.
607
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,015
Poor kid.
So as he's telling the story,
608
00:22:03,048 --> 00:22:04,216
he starts crying.
609
00:22:04,249 --> 00:22:06,084
Well, what did you do?
What do you think?
610
00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:07,886
I gave him
my PEZ dispenser.
611
00:22:07,919 --> 00:22:09,087
Wow.
612
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:12,223
Two hours later,
he checks into Smither's clinic.
613
00:22:12,256 --> 00:22:13,184
Talked to the doctor yesterday.
He's doing great on the rehab,
614
00:22:13,184 --> 00:22:15,493
Talked to the doctor yesterday.
He's doing great on the rehab,
615
00:22:15,526 --> 00:22:16,694
he's hooked on PEZ.
616
00:22:20,463 --> 00:22:23,065
He's eating them
like there's no tomorrow.
617
00:22:23,099 --> 00:22:25,234
What's a three-letter word
for candy?
618
00:22:27,536 --> 00:22:29,771
I can't do those things.
619
00:22:41,749 --> 00:22:45,520
Jawbreakers, to me, was like
the ultimate challenge candy.
620
00:22:45,553 --> 00:22:46,921
It was almost like
candy manufacturers
621
00:22:46,954 --> 00:22:49,223
were sitting
in their laboratories, going,
622
00:22:49,256 --> 00:22:50,457
"I wonder if they'll eat this.
623
00:22:50,490 --> 00:22:51,591
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
624
00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:54,060
"This seems pretty tough to eat.
625
00:22:54,093 --> 00:22:56,730
"Let's market it as
some sort of an experiment."
626
00:22:56,763 --> 00:22:58,197
But the concept of Jawbreakers,
627
00:22:58,231 --> 00:22:59,465
what was the concept?
628
00:22:59,498 --> 00:23:02,401
Multicolored cement balls
for a quarter?
629
00:23:02,435 --> 00:23:04,069
Was that the idea behind it?
630
00:23:04,102 --> 00:23:06,939
"Let's see if we can hurt them.
631
00:23:06,972 --> 00:23:08,440
"Let's see if they'll pay...
632
00:23:08,473 --> 00:23:09,874
to be hurt."
633
00:23:09,907 --> 00:23:10,401
This is the idea
behind Jawbreakers.
634
00:23:10,401 --> 00:23:11,743
This is the idea
behind Jawbreakers.
635
00:23:11,776 --> 00:23:13,745
And I did it, I ate them,
I loved them.
636
00:23:13,778 --> 00:23:14,746
Ow. Ow. Ow.
637
00:23:14,779 --> 00:23:15,880
Ow. Ow. Ow.
638
00:23:15,913 --> 00:23:17,381
Oh, this is very painful.
639
00:23:17,414 --> 00:23:18,549
I'm really hurting.
640
00:23:18,652 --> 00:23:19,985
And this is hurting me a lot.
641
00:23:20,019 --> 00:23:21,552
I love them.
44046
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