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1
00:00:02,333 --> 00:00:04,300
So I'm on the plane.
We left late.
2
00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:06,466
Pilot says, "We're going to be
making up some time."
3
00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:08,333
Isn't that interesting?
They just make up time.
4
00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:11,500
That's why you have to
reset your watch when you land.
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,800
[LAUGHTER]
6
00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:14,966
Of course when they say
they're making up time
7
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,800
obviously, they're increasing
the speed of the aircraft.
8
00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:21,133
Now my question is,
if you can go faster
9
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:24,300
why don't you just go
as fast as you can
10
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:26,000
all the time?
11
00:00:26,033 --> 00:00:27,800
Come on. There's no cops up
here. Nail it.
12
00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:28,800
Give it some gas.
13
00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:30,000
[APPLAUSE]
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,133
[APPLAUSE]
15
00:00:30,166 --> 00:00:32,666
We're flying.
16
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,000
MAN: Traveling, of course,is the best education.
17
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:42,966
[SLURRING SPEECH]
You know, last year
18
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,666
I was in over 40, 45
countries
19
00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:51,966
and I would've gone to more,
but I'd just got a puppy.
20
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,333
And he was too young
to take with me.
21
00:00:54,366 --> 00:00:57,133
But not now. I won't
travel without him.
22
00:00:57,166 --> 00:00:58,300
Is he on the plane now?
23
00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,800
Oh, yes.
24
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:03,500
Yes, he's in
the baggage compartment.
25
00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:04,201
I don't know why they won't
let him sit up here with me.
26
00:01:04,201 --> 00:01:07,300
I don't know why they won't
let him sit up here with me.
27
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,133
He's a lot better behaved
than most of the dregs
28
00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:13,700
you find onboard here.
29
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,300
You have any pets?
30
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:18,666
Just my next-door neighbor.
31
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:22,633
Well, you are missing out
on a relationship
32
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,000
that could enrich
your life
33
00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:27,800
in ways that you never
even thought possible.
34
00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:31,300
How about picking up
their-- You know?
35
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,201
You find that enriching?
36
00:01:34,201 --> 00:01:36,133
You find that enriching?
37
00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:37,333
What's the matter?
38
00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:40,666
Oh, I'm feeling
a bit queasy.
39
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,966
MAN: Sir, we're gonna makean emergency landing
40
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,300
in Chicago and
get you to a hospital.
41
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:49,466
My dog.
42
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,133
What about my dog?
43
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:52,666
You have a dog?
44
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:59,166
Do you know anyone
on the plane, Mr. Palone?
45
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,966
Jerry.
46
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,833
Huh?
47
00:02:02,866 --> 00:02:03,966
How you feeling?
48
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:04,201
Would you take care of Farfel?
49
00:02:04,201 --> 00:02:07,966
Would you take care of Farfel?
50
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,666
Farfel?
51
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,300
It's his dog.
We're landing in Chicago
52
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:12,633
to get him to a hospital.
53
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,300
Could you take his dog
to New York?
54
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,633
The dog?...The dog?
55
00:02:17,666 --> 00:02:19,800
I'm sure it's only
for a day or two.
56
00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:21,966
But, you know--
What if, you know?
57
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,633
Give me your address
and phone number. I'll call you.
58
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,000
The dog?
59
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,466
[GRUNTS AND GROWLS]
60
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:31,966
Let go, Farfel.
61
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,300
[DOG GROWLS]
62
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:34,201
Let go. Give me that.
63
00:02:34,201 --> 00:02:34,466
Let go. Give me that.
64
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,000
Give me that sneaker,
you stupid idiot.
65
00:02:36,033 --> 00:02:39,300
[LOUD BARKING]
66
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,800
Shut up!
67
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,333
So, what would you do?
68
00:02:43,366 --> 00:02:46,333
It's only been three days.
I'm sure he's gonna call.
69
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,500
[LOUD BARKING]
70
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:50,333
Stop it! Shut Uuuup!
71
00:02:50,366 --> 00:02:52,333
Do you believe this?
72
00:02:52,366 --> 00:02:54,133
Do you believe what
I'm dealing with here?
73
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:56,133
I got a wild animal
in the house.
74
00:02:56,166 --> 00:02:58,800
He'd deranged. Maybe he's got
rabies. I can get lockjaw.
75
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,500
If only.
76
00:03:01,533 --> 00:03:03,633
Look at this place.
77
00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:04,201
He's going everywhere.
78
00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:05,800
He's going everywhere.
79
00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,966
I can't go out of the
house at night.
80
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,833
I haven't performed
in three days.
81
00:03:09,866 --> 00:03:12,333
This will be my first night
out since I got back.
82
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:15,633
Hey, when you
walk him, do you...?
83
00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:17,800
Do I what?
84
00:03:17,833 --> 00:03:20,966
Do you pick it up?
85
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,133
Yes, I pick it up.
86
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,633
You pick it up?
87
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,300
Well, you have to.
88
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:31,166
Oh, boy, would
I love to see that.
89
00:03:32,033 --> 00:03:33,133
[BARKING]
90
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:34,201
Shut up!
91
00:03:34,201 --> 00:03:34,500
Shut up!
92
00:03:34,533 --> 00:03:36,966
Shut up, Farfel! Stop it!
93
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,633
I don't know what to do.
94
00:03:38,666 --> 00:03:41,800
What if I take it to the pound,
and then the guy shows up?
95
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:42,966
Maybe you should call
the airline.
96
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,166
They might know where he is.
97
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,800
No, I tried.
They don't know anything.
98
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,800
You gotta put
the syrup in first.
99
00:03:47,833 --> 00:03:49,633
No, milk.
100
00:03:49,666 --> 00:03:51,133
I'm telling you.
The guy's a drunk.
101
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,466
He's probably on
a bender.
102
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,300
What is a bender anyhow?
103
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:58,166
I don't know. They drink and
they bend things at the bar.
104
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,466
I don't know.
105
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,833
I can't believe
he hasn't called.
106
00:04:02,866 --> 00:04:04,201
Two hundred seats
on a plane
107
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:04,633
Two hundred seats
on a plane
108
00:04:04,666 --> 00:04:08,333
I gotta wind up next to Yukon
Jack and his dog Cujo.
109
00:04:08,366 --> 00:04:10,300
[BARKING]
110
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,966
Shut up!
111
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,000
One more day,
and you are pound-bound!
112
00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:17,166
Hey, I'm sorry. I can't
watch the dog tonight.
113
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,166
Why?
114
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,466
We're going
to the movies.
115
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:20,833
We're gonna see
Prognosis Negative.
116
00:04:20,866 --> 00:04:23,133
I can't. I gotta get
this Ellen out of my life.
117
00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:24,300
You're breaking up?
118
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,466
Oh, yeah.
119
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,966
The sooner the better.
I can't wait to do it.
120
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,466
You know some people you
worry about whether or not
121
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,000
you're gonna hurt
their feelings?
122
00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:34,201
With her, I'm
looking forward to it.
123
00:04:34,201 --> 00:04:35,633
With her, I'm
looking forward to it.
124
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,166
Boy, I'd like to
get it on video.
125
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:42,300
Watch it in slow motion
and freeze-frame it.
126
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,966
Kramer, I don't know how you
lasted as long as you did.
127
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,500
You didn't like her?
128
00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:49,133
If you could
see her personality
129
00:04:49,166 --> 00:04:51,300
it'd be like one of the
Elephant Man exhibits
130
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:55,300
you know where they pull off the
sheet and everyone gasps.
131
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,500
I can't believe someone
hasn't killed her yet.
132
00:04:57,533 --> 00:04:59,466
How come you never said
anything?
133
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,966
You can't tell someone how you
feel about their girlfriend
134
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,300
till after they stop--
135
00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:04,201
I tell you.
136
00:05:04,201 --> 00:05:04,333
I tell you.
137
00:05:04,366 --> 00:05:06,800
You. I'm talking about people.
138
00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:08,833
[BARKING]
139
00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:10,633
Are we still going
to the movies tonight?
140
00:05:10,666 --> 00:05:12,300
No, I can't.
I gotta watch Farfel.
141
00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:13,833
You and George can
go without me.
142
00:05:13,866 --> 00:05:15,500
Just me and George?
143
00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:16,666
Sure.
144
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,166
But we need you.
145
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,833
What do you need me for?
146
00:05:19,866 --> 00:05:21,166
[DOOR BUZZER]
147
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,000
Because.
148
00:05:23,033 --> 00:05:24,300
Yeah?
149
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:28,300
GEORGE:
Prognosis Negative!
150
00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:31,300
Because I relate to
George through you.
151
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:33,300
We're more like
friends-in-law.
152
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,201
Besides, we said we'd see
Prognosis Negative together.
153
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,300
Besides, we said we'd see
Prognosis Negative together.
154
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:39,633
Can't you put some
newspapers down or something?
155
00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:41,166
No, I can't trust him.
He gets insane.
156
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,166
I won't enjoy myself.
157
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,966
[BARKING]
158
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,800
That's right, Farfel,
I'm talking about you!
159
00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,866
Just me and George alone?
160
00:05:50,866 --> 00:05:55,800
Let's go, people. Let's go.
It's Prognosis Negative time.
161
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,466
I can't go.
162
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:58,666
You can't go? Why not?
163
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,966
Because I have to
watch idiot Farfel.
164
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,300
I thought Kramer was
watching him.
165
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:03,966
He's breaking up with his
girlfriend.
166
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:04,201
What's the problem?
Just put newspaper down.
167
00:06:04,201 --> 00:06:06,833
What's the problem?
Just put newspaper down.
168
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,133
No, I don't want that smell
in the house.
169
00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:10,800
You spritz a little
Lysol on it--
170
00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:11,800
No.
171
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:13,333
It's like BO and cologne.
172
00:06:13,366 --> 00:06:17,833
They combine forces into some
kind of strange mutant funk.
173
00:06:17,866 --> 00:06:19,300
So we're not going?
174
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,133
Nah. You two go.
175
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:27,800
Oh... You still wanna go?
176
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,133
Do you?
177
00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:32,133
If you want.
178
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,166
It's-- It's up to you.
179
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,201
Go ahead.
180
00:06:34,201 --> 00:06:34,466
Go ahead.
181
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,300
Well, I really wanted to see
182
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:40,666
Prognosis Negative with Jerry.
183
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,466
You wanna see Ponce de Leon?
184
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:46,133
Ponce de Leon?
185
00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:47,300
Okay.
186
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,000
You sure you don't wanna go?
187
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,966
I want to, but I can't.
188
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,300
Oh! I tell you what.
189
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:56,133
How about if I come back here
first and I clean everything up?
190
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,800
And I open up the windows,
191
00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,300
and if you're still
not satisfied
192
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:00,833
we can switch apartments
for the night.
193
00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:02,833
No.
194
00:07:02,866 --> 00:07:04,201
What about this--?
195
00:07:04,201 --> 00:07:04,800
What about this--?
196
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:05,800
Forget it.
197
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:08,633
Go ahead. You'll
have a good time.
198
00:07:08,666 --> 00:07:09,966
I know. It's not that.
199
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,133
I just want you to go.
200
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,466
Well, thank you very much.
201
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,800
[BARKING]
202
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:18,666
I'm telling you, one more day,
stink breath!
203
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:21,333
On my block, a lot of people
walk their dogs
204
00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:22,966
and I always
see them walking along with
205
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,333
their little poop bags,
206
00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:26,333
which to me is just
the lowest function
207
00:07:26,366 --> 00:07:28,133
of human life.
208
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:31,966
If aliens are watching this
through telescopes
209
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,201
they're gonna think the dogs
are the leaders.
210
00:07:34,201 --> 00:07:35,000
they're gonna think the dogs
are the leaders.
211
00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:38,500
If you see two life forms,
one of them is making a poop
212
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:42,500
the other one's
carrying it for him.
213
00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:45,500
Who would you assume
is in charge?
214
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,633
So how long did
you live there?
215
00:07:54,666 --> 00:07:57,133
About three years.
216
00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:59,666
That's pretty long.
217
00:08:04,666 --> 00:08:05,800
It's not that long, really.
218
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,166
Yeah.
219
00:08:08,533 --> 00:08:11,000
Do you--?
So--
220
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:13,800
And then you came here.
221
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:17,500
Yeah.
222
00:08:17,533 --> 00:08:19,200
So I've been here
about six years.
223
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:26,633
'86, '87, '88,
'89, '90
224
00:08:26,666 --> 00:08:29,133
'91.
225
00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:32,466
Yep.
226
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:33,666
JERRY:
Bad dog.
227
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:34,201
[GROWLS]
228
00:08:34,201 --> 00:08:34,666
[GROWLS]
229
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:35,666
Bad dog!
230
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:37,000
You go outside!
231
00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:38,000
[BARKING]
232
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:39,000
Outside!
233
00:08:39,033 --> 00:08:40,633
What do you want from
me? Tell me.
234
00:08:40,666 --> 00:08:41,666
[BARKING]
235
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,333
Money? You want money?
236
00:08:43,366 --> 00:08:45,800
I'll give you money. How much?
237
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:50,300
I must have been out of my mind.
Look at you.
238
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:52,966
Why don't you do something
with your life?
239
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,800
You sit around here all day.
240
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:58,800
You contribute nothing
to society!
241
00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:02,300
You're just taking up space!
242
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,201
I mean, how can I be
with someone like you?
243
00:09:04,201 --> 00:09:07,166
I mean, how can I be
with someone like you?
244
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,966
Wouldn't respect myself.
245
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,366
GEORGE: I like herbal tea.
246
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:18,466
Chamomile's good.
247
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:23,833
Lemon Lift.
248
00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:28,200
Almond Pleasure.
249
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,833
Jerry likes Morning Thunder.
250
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,166
Jerry drinks Morning Thunder?
251
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,833
Yeah.
252
00:09:47,866 --> 00:09:49,166
Morning Thunder has
caffeine in it.
253
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,833
Jerry doesn't drink
caffeine.
254
00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:54,300
Jerry doesn't know Morning
Thunder has caffeine in it.
255
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,833
You don't tell him?
256
00:09:56,866 --> 00:09:58,133
No.
257
00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:00,500
And you should see him.
Man, he gets all hyper.
258
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,633
He doesn't even know why.
He loves it.
259
00:10:02,666 --> 00:10:04,201
He walks around going,
"God, I feel great!"
260
00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:05,500
He walks around going,
"God, I feel great!"
261
00:10:05,533 --> 00:10:07,833
You don't tell him?
262
00:10:07,866 --> 00:10:11,000
No.
263
00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:12,500
That is so funny.
264
00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:13,666
I know.
265
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,500
Have you ever seen
him throw up?
266
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:19,033
[GRUNTING NOISES]
267
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,833
KRAMER:
Please!
268
00:10:21,866 --> 00:10:25,466
Please!
269
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,166
I take it all back!
270
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,000
Everything. I take it all back!
Every word!
271
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:32,966
I love you!
272
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,201
I love you!
273
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:35,966
I love you!
274
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:41,333
I can't live without you!
I'll do anything!
275
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,466
[BARK]
276
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,500
JERRY: That's right.Gavin Palone.
277
00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:46,833
What? You're sure?
278
00:10:46,866 --> 00:10:48,466
[BARKING]
279
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,133
He was released on Monday?
280
00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:53,133
Last Monday?
281
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:56,166
Did he leave a phone number
or address?
282
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,966
Unbelievable.
283
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,633
Well, thank you. Thanks.
Thanks very much.
284
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:04,201
That's it, Farfel. Party's over.
285
00:11:04,201 --> 00:11:06,000
That's it, Farfel. Party's over.
286
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,966
Start packing up your little
squeeze toys, buddy boy.
287
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,166
You're checking out.
288
00:11:14,428 --> 00:11:17,562
It was weird because George
and I get along so great
289
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:19,028
in so many situations
290
00:11:19,062 --> 00:11:21,862
but this was the first time we
ever really went one-on-one.
291
00:11:21,895 --> 00:11:23,728
One-on-one's a whole
different game.
292
00:11:23,762 --> 00:11:26,028
Can't pass off.
293
00:11:26,062 --> 00:11:27,528
The only time it wasn't
uncomfortable
294
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,395
was when we were
making fun of you.
295
00:11:30,895 --> 00:11:33,362
[PHONE RINGS]
296
00:11:33,395 --> 00:11:36,728
Hello. Boy George, about time.
297
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,695
Beautiful. How soon?
298
00:11:38,728 --> 00:11:40,395
Okay, here's the plan:
299
00:11:40,428 --> 00:11:42,172
We take the dog to the pound,
we go right to the movies.
300
00:11:42,172 --> 00:11:44,562
We take the dog to the pound,
we go right to the movies.
301
00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:47,562
Right. You, me and Elaine.
302
00:11:47,595 --> 00:11:50,362
Yes, all three of us.
303
00:11:50,395 --> 00:11:52,695
I am going.
304
00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:54,195
Okay, see you in five minutes.
305
00:11:54,228 --> 00:11:58,695
♪ Going to the
Dog pound everybody ♪
306
00:11:58,728 --> 00:12:01,562
♪ Going to the dog pound
Come on, now ♪
307
00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:03,562
What?
308
00:12:03,595 --> 00:12:04,862
Do you have to?
309
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,062
What am I supposed to do?
310
00:12:06,095 --> 00:12:07,895
I don't want to do it.
311
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:10,062
I like dogs.
312
00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:12,172
I'm not sure this is a dog.
313
00:12:12,172 --> 00:12:12,528
I'm not sure this is a dog.
314
00:12:12,562 --> 00:12:15,695
You know the guy might have
just lost your number.
315
00:12:15,728 --> 00:12:18,228
I'm in the book,
and I have a machine.
316
00:12:18,262 --> 00:12:21,195
Jerry, do you know what they do
to dogs at the pound?
317
00:12:21,228 --> 00:12:24,195
They keep them there for a week.
And the if nobody claims them,
318
00:12:24,228 --> 00:12:25,562
they kill them.
319
00:12:25,595 --> 00:12:27,195
Really?
320
00:12:27,228 --> 00:12:30,762
How late are they open?
321
00:12:33,728 --> 00:12:34,695
What?
322
00:12:34,728 --> 00:12:36,862
What is it?
323
00:12:36,895 --> 00:12:38,728
I went back with Ellen.
324
00:12:38,762 --> 00:12:42,172
Oh. That's great.
Oh. Great.
325
00:12:42,172 --> 00:12:44,028
Oh. That's great.
Oh. Great.
326
00:12:44,062 --> 00:12:45,562
Terrific.
Yeah.
327
00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:48,028
I really think you guys
are good together.
328
00:12:48,062 --> 00:12:52,228
Yes. She understands you,
and she is not demanding.
329
00:12:52,262 --> 00:12:56,395
Do you think that I forgot
what you two said about her?
330
00:12:56,428 --> 00:12:58,562
We're just trying to be
supportive.
Yes.
331
00:12:58,595 --> 00:13:00,062
We knew you
were upset--
332
00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:02,562
From now on when we pass
each other in the hall,
333
00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:04,195
I don't know you,
you don't know me.
334
00:13:04,228 --> 00:13:06,362
Oh, Kramer.
We didn't mean it.
335
00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:08,228
What are you doing?
336
00:13:08,262 --> 00:13:09,862
I'm getting my pot.
337
00:13:09,895 --> 00:13:12,172
Kramer, we like her.
338
00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:12,395
Kramer, we like her.
339
00:13:12,428 --> 00:13:14,895
Kramer.
340
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:18,228
What did we say
that was so bad?
341
00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:20,862
I believe I referred
to her personality
342
00:13:20,895 --> 00:13:23,695
as a potential
science exhibit.
343
00:13:23,728 --> 00:13:28,895
I said, "How come
no one's killed her?"
344
00:13:28,928 --> 00:13:30,395
Well.
Well.
345
00:13:30,428 --> 00:13:32,362
Probably shouldn't have
said anything.
346
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,695
I mean, everybody knows
the first breakup never takes.
347
00:13:34,728 --> 00:13:35,762
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
348
00:13:36,595 --> 00:13:38,695
Yeah?
349
00:13:38,728 --> 00:13:41,562
GEORGE:
Prognosis Negative.
350
00:13:41,595 --> 00:13:42,172
[BARKING]
351
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:44,862
[BARKING]
352
00:13:44,895 --> 00:13:48,095
Great. Okay, Farfel,
put your shoes on.
353
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:52,228
Jerry, can't you just give it
one more day?
354
00:13:52,262 --> 00:13:53,562
It's not his fault.
355
00:13:53,595 --> 00:13:55,062
It's not my dog.
356
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,195
I don't know where
this booze hound is.
357
00:13:57,228 --> 00:14:00,562
All right, I tell you what.
358
00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:03,062
How about if you and George
go to the movies
359
00:14:03,095 --> 00:14:05,062
and I stay here and
watch the dog tonight?
360
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,728
I can't let you do that.
What about Prognosis Negative?
361
00:14:07,762 --> 00:14:09,195
We'll see it Sunday.
362
00:14:09,228 --> 00:14:12,172
Tonight's the night, right?
Prognosis Negative.
363
00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:14,695
Tonight's the night, right?
Prognosis Negative.
364
00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,895
I'm not going.
I'm gonna watch the dog.
365
00:14:16,928 --> 00:14:18,062
What does this mean?
366
00:14:18,095 --> 00:14:21,728
Well, we'll go see
something else tonight.
367
00:14:21,762 --> 00:14:23,895
We'll see Ponce de Leon.
368
00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:25,062
What is with this dog?
369
00:14:25,095 --> 00:14:27,062
I thought we were
taking it to the pound.
370
00:14:27,095 --> 00:14:29,028
She talked me into one more day.
371
00:14:29,062 --> 00:14:30,862
Talk. I'm going to the bathroom.
372
00:14:30,895 --> 00:14:33,528
Jerry, how long are you
gonna be in there?
373
00:14:33,562 --> 00:14:37,528
I don't know,
regular human time.
374
00:14:37,562 --> 00:14:40,195
Why don't you wait
and go at the movies?
375
00:14:40,228 --> 00:14:42,172
Why shouldn't I go here?
376
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,195
Why shouldn't I go here?
377
00:14:43,228 --> 00:14:45,228
Well, you know.
378
00:14:45,262 --> 00:14:48,228
Sometimes it's good to get there
and make sure you get seats
379
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,695
and then go
to the bathroom.
380
00:14:49,728 --> 00:14:51,228
And isn't it more fun
using the urinal?
381
00:14:51,262 --> 00:14:52,362
Yeah.
382
00:14:52,395 --> 00:14:57,062
Oh, yeah, George.
Urinals are fun.
383
00:14:59,095 --> 00:15:00,195
Can I go?
384
00:15:00,228 --> 00:15:01,228
Hey, go.
385
00:15:01,262 --> 00:15:02,895
Who's stopping you?
386
00:15:02,928 --> 00:15:05,528
What, are you doing
me a favor?
387
00:15:05,562 --> 00:15:09,562
Like we care if you go
to the bathroom.
388
00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:15,062
How's it going?
389
00:15:15,095 --> 00:15:17,062
Good.
390
00:15:18,062 --> 00:15:19,062
You?
391
00:15:19,095 --> 00:15:21,262
Things are good.
392
00:15:22,395 --> 00:15:25,395
[WHISTLING]
393
00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:31,262
[SQUEAKS]
394
00:15:34,595 --> 00:15:36,228
Boy, he takes
such a long time.
395
00:15:36,262 --> 00:15:38,095
I know.
396
00:15:39,428 --> 00:15:41,728
You know what he does
in there? He gargles.
397
00:15:41,762 --> 00:15:42,172
Jerry gargles?
That why he takes so long?
398
00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:43,728
Jerry gargles?
That why he takes so long?
399
00:15:43,762 --> 00:15:46,062
Yeah, he does it
like six times a day.
400
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,562
How come we never
hear him?
401
00:15:47,595 --> 00:15:48,895
Because he does it quiet.
402
00:15:48,928 --> 00:15:50,195
He does it quiet.
Look it--
403
00:15:50,228 --> 00:15:54,862
Just like this.
Watch.
404
00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:58,028
[LAUGHS]
405
00:15:58,062 --> 00:16:01,895
Wait, wait. Did you ever
see him throw up?
406
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,228
We talked about
that already.
407
00:16:06,228 --> 00:16:07,095
Oh.
408
00:16:08,062 --> 00:16:10,795
I have nothing to say
to anybody anymore.
409
00:16:10,828 --> 00:16:12,172
I'm so uninteresting.
410
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,295
I'm so uninteresting.
411
00:16:13,328 --> 00:16:15,295
I'm think I'm out of
conversation.
412
00:16:15,328 --> 00:16:18,462
So why do you call me
six times a day?
413
00:16:18,495 --> 00:16:20,528
All I know about is sports.
That's it.
414
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:21,695
No matter how
depressed I get,
415
00:16:21,728 --> 00:16:23,128
I could always read
the sports section.
416
00:16:23,162 --> 00:16:26,862
I could read the sports section
if my hair was on fire.
417
00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:29,795
You know what,
Ponce de Leon is sold out.
418
00:16:29,828 --> 00:16:32,362
JERRY:
It is. Oh, yeah,
you're right.
419
00:16:32,395 --> 00:16:33,795
What else is playing?
420
00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:37,362
Nothing except
Prognosis Negative.
421
00:16:37,395 --> 00:16:39,962
Boy, I know she really wants
to see that with me.
422
00:16:39,995 --> 00:16:41,862
Give me that jacket, mud face.
[DOG GROWLING]
423
00:16:41,895 --> 00:16:42,172
This is not Seinfeld
you're dealing with.
424
00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:43,862
This is not Seinfeld
you're dealing with.
425
00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:45,028
When I get
through with you,
426
00:16:45,062 --> 00:16:47,128
you'll be begging
to go to the pound.
427
00:16:47,162 --> 00:16:49,528
[PHONE RINGS]
[DOG BARKING]
428
00:16:49,562 --> 00:16:51,795
Shut up.
429
00:16:51,828 --> 00:16:54,195
Shut up!
430
00:16:54,228 --> 00:16:56,695
Hello?
431
00:16:56,728 --> 00:16:59,162
No. Who's calling?
432
00:17:02,228 --> 00:17:05,695
Oh, my God. The dog guy.
433
00:17:05,728 --> 00:17:08,295
Well, where have you been?
434
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,028
Yeah? Well, you better pick up
your dog tonight,
435
00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:12,172
or he has humped
his last leg.
436
00:17:12,172 --> 00:17:13,162
or he has humped
his last leg.
437
00:17:16,728 --> 00:17:18,795
I could understand if there was
something else playing,
438
00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:21,462
but it's this
or nothing.
439
00:17:21,495 --> 00:17:22,695
I don't know
what to do.
440
00:17:22,728 --> 00:17:24,362
What is this saving movies
thing?
441
00:17:24,395 --> 00:17:27,028
Something's playing, you go.
I know. I know.
442
00:17:27,062 --> 00:17:28,628
So, wh-what, are we gonna
do nothing now?
443
00:17:28,662 --> 00:17:30,362
This is crazy.
It is kind of silly.
444
00:17:30,395 --> 00:17:31,862
Of course it is.
I mean,
445
00:17:31,895 --> 00:17:33,295
it's just a movie, God's sake.
446
00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:34,462
Exactly.
447
00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:36,028
It's not like
she's in the movie.
448
00:17:36,062 --> 00:17:37,195
Right.
449
00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:38,862
You know, we're supposed
to ruin the night
450
00:17:38,895 --> 00:17:40,195
because she
wants to see it?
451
00:17:40,228 --> 00:17:42,128
If I could have seen it
with her, fine.
452
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:42,172
But I can't control all these
circumstances and schedules
453
00:17:42,172 --> 00:17:44,795
But I can't control all these
circumstances and schedules
454
00:17:44,828 --> 00:17:46,462
and people's availabilities
of movies.
455
00:17:46,495 --> 00:17:47,628
And she'll
still see it.
456
00:17:47,662 --> 00:17:49,028
You're not stopping her
from seeing it.
457
00:17:49,062 --> 00:17:50,462
How does sitting
next to a person
458
00:17:50,495 --> 00:17:52,628
in a movie theater increase
the level of enjoyment?
459
00:17:52,662 --> 00:17:55,162
You can't talk
during a movie.
460
00:17:57,162 --> 00:17:59,128
You know, this is stupid.
Come on. Let's just go.
461
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,528
Good.
462
00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:01,795
Saving movies.
463
00:18:01,828 --> 00:18:03,195
Ridiculous.
464
00:18:03,228 --> 00:18:05,628
Two for Prognosis Negative.
465
00:18:05,662 --> 00:18:06,562
Phhh!
466
00:18:08,395 --> 00:18:09,462
I'm in big trouble.
467
00:18:09,495 --> 00:18:10,995
Oh, you're dead.
468
00:18:12,828 --> 00:18:14,195
[DOG BARKING]
469
00:18:14,228 --> 00:18:16,628
Bell's Palsy.
470
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,795
The entire side
of my--
471
00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:20,862
O-o-of my--
Of my face
472
00:18:20,895 --> 00:18:22,295
was paralyzed.
473
00:18:22,328 --> 00:18:23,295
[DOG BARKS]
474
00:18:23,328 --> 00:18:26,028
Farfel.
475
00:18:26,062 --> 00:18:27,462
Look, I couldn't--
I couldn't--
476
00:18:27,495 --> 00:18:29,195
I couldn't even
feed myself.
477
00:18:29,228 --> 00:18:31,195
I was completely
incapacitated.
478
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:32,295
[DOG BARKS]
479
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:33,962
Quiet, Farfel!
480
00:18:33,995 --> 00:18:35,362
Farfel.
You know, it's interesting
481
00:18:35,395 --> 00:18:37,128
because I called
the hospital,
482
00:18:37,162 --> 00:18:39,628
and they said you were
released on Monday.
483
00:18:39,662 --> 00:18:42,172
Y-y-y-yes, yes,
that's true...
484
00:18:42,172 --> 00:18:42,195
Y-y-y-yes, yes,
that's true...
485
00:18:42,228 --> 00:18:48,462
but then, you see, I was taken
to the Bell's Palsy Center, see?
486
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,695
In-- In-- In--
In Rockville.
487
00:18:50,728 --> 00:18:53,628
Absolutely first--
First-rate facility.
488
00:18:53,662 --> 00:18:56,862
Top-- Top-notch
ph-physicians.
489
00:18:56,895 --> 00:18:59,528
KRAMER:
Hey, come on. Come on.
Get off me.
490
00:18:59,562 --> 00:19:02,362
He won't hurt you.
He's just playing.
491
00:19:02,395 --> 00:19:04,028
Now you keep that mutt
away from me.
492
00:19:04,062 --> 00:19:08,862
Mutt? I'll wager his parents
are more pure than yours.
493
00:19:08,895 --> 00:19:10,695
ELLEN:
Kramer, are you coming?
494
00:19:10,728 --> 00:19:11,962
Oh, hi, Ellen.
495
00:19:11,995 --> 00:19:12,172
Get in here.
496
00:19:12,172 --> 00:19:13,495
Get in here.
497
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:19,195
Listen, it's really
been a pleasure
498
00:19:19,228 --> 00:19:21,028
taking care of
your dog for a week,
499
00:19:21,062 --> 00:19:22,362
but if you don't mind.
500
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,362
Pr-Pr-Prediction:
501
00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:27,362
You'll be calling me to ask
if you can come and visit him
502
00:19:27,395 --> 00:19:29,695
before the month is out.
503
00:19:29,728 --> 00:19:30,962
Prediction:
504
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:33,895
I never see you or him again
for the rest of my life.
505
00:19:39,728 --> 00:19:41,628
ELAINE:
We made plans.
506
00:19:41,662 --> 00:19:42,172
Why don't we
just rent a movie?
507
00:19:42,172 --> 00:19:43,862
Why don't we
just rent a movie?
508
00:19:43,895 --> 00:19:46,695
Well, I thought you wanted
to see Prognosis Negative.
509
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:52,195
No. It's supposed to be
really bad. Really bad.
510
00:19:52,228 --> 00:19:55,195
I mean, it's long.
There's no story.
511
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,962
It's so
unbelievably boring.
512
00:19:57,995 --> 00:20:01,128
I heard. I...
513
00:20:01,162 --> 00:20:03,362
Jerry, you promised me
we'd go.
514
00:20:03,395 --> 00:20:06,695
Well, George told me
the whole story, line for line.
515
00:20:06,728 --> 00:20:08,528
I almost feel like
I've seen it already
516
00:20:08,562 --> 00:20:10,462
and walked out on it.
517
00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:12,172
Wait, wait.
George saw the movie?
518
00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:12,195
Wait, wait.
George saw the movie?
519
00:20:12,228 --> 00:20:15,362
I saw him yesterday.
He didn't mention it.
520
00:20:15,395 --> 00:20:17,362
You and George
got together?
521
00:20:17,395 --> 00:20:20,995
Yeah. I wanted to talk about how
we had nothing to talk about.
522
00:20:21,562 --> 00:20:22,962
[DOOR OPENS]
523
00:20:22,995 --> 00:20:24,195
Hello.
524
00:20:24,228 --> 00:20:25,695
Hi, hi, hi,
hi, hi.
525
00:20:25,728 --> 00:20:27,195
What's up?
526
00:20:27,228 --> 00:20:29,128
Well, uh...
you were right.
527
00:20:29,162 --> 00:20:31,028
About what?
Ellen.
528
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:32,028
We, uh...
529
00:20:32,062 --> 00:20:33,362
broke up again.
530
00:20:33,395 --> 00:20:34,962
Aww.
Aww.
531
00:20:34,995 --> 00:20:36,628
Too bad.
532
00:20:36,662 --> 00:20:40,795
I thought
she was the one.
533
00:20:40,828 --> 00:20:41,895
I'll bring back the pot.
534
00:20:43,995 --> 00:20:45,195
Okay, come on.
It's movie time.
535
00:20:45,228 --> 00:20:46,628
No.
Hey, what are you gonna see?
536
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:47,862
PrognosisNegative.
537
00:20:47,895 --> 00:20:49,028
Hey, that's supposed
to be great.
538
00:20:49,062 --> 00:20:50,028
It's not.
539
00:20:50,062 --> 00:20:51,028
Well, how do
you know?
540
00:20:51,062 --> 00:20:53,028
I have an instinct
for these things.
541
00:20:53,062 --> 00:20:54,862
I had a parakeet
when I was a kid.
542
00:20:54,895 --> 00:20:57,195
That was the only pet
that I really enjoyed.
543
00:20:57,228 --> 00:20:59,028
We used to let him
out of his cage,
544
00:20:59,062 --> 00:21:01,795
and he would fly around.
And my mother had built
545
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:05,295
one entire wall of
our living room was mirrored,
546
00:21:05,328 --> 00:21:07,528
she felt this gives you
a feeling of space.
547
00:21:07,562 --> 00:21:10,028
Have you ever heard this
interior-design principle?
548
00:21:10,062 --> 00:21:12,172
The mirror makes it seem like
you have entire other room.
549
00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:12,195
The mirror makes it seem like
you have entire other room.
550
00:21:12,228 --> 00:21:14,462
What kid of jerk walks up
to a mirror and goes,
551
00:21:14,495 --> 00:21:16,195
"Hey, look. There's a whole
other room in there"?
552
00:21:16,228 --> 00:21:17,962
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
553
00:21:17,995 --> 00:21:20,628
"There's a guy in there,
looks just like me."
554
00:21:20,662 --> 00:21:22,962
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
555
00:21:22,995 --> 00:21:24,362
But the parakeet
will fall for this.
556
00:21:24,395 --> 00:21:26,362
You let him out of his cage.
He flies around.
557
00:21:26,395 --> 00:21:28,795
Bang! With his little head.
He would just go:
558
00:21:28,828 --> 00:21:29,962
[CLICKS]
"Oh!"
559
00:21:29,995 --> 00:21:31,195
And I'd always think,
560
00:21:31,228 --> 00:21:33,528
even if he thinks
the mirror is another room,
561
00:21:33,562 --> 00:21:34,962
why doesn't he at least
562
00:21:34,995 --> 00:21:37,128
try and avoid hitting
the other parakeet?
563
00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:38,228
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
38931
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